Comic Book Men s06e05 Episode Script
Bionic Customer
1 [upbeat music.]
What's the craziest thing you would do in order to get your idol's attention? Someone you really love and admire.
Not what would I do, what did I do? Really? Yeah.
1988, Devils made the playoffs for the first time in the franchise history.
I was lucky enough to go up to one of the playoff games and my favorite player was at the time was a guy named Patrik Sundstrom and I I drew this picture of him and the Devils logo inside of a heart [laughter.]
Oh! So when he came out of the locker room, I went to go ha give him the this drawing I did and I was just like, "You're my favorite, uh, player," and I was so nervous, he just grabbed it, he took it, he signed it and gave it right back to me, and he kept on walking.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Have you ever done anything that romantic for your wife? [laughter.]
[heroic music.]
[laughs.]
[upbeat music.]
Hello and welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show that's smart enough not to drink Granny's peach tea.
I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Okay, men, regale me with stories of high adventure in the world of comic book retail.
Somebody brought in a toy from one of my absolute favorite '80s movies and a movie that's been making kind of a comeback.
Hey, how are you today? Fine, how are you? Pretty good.
I have right here the 1986 Real Ghostbusters firehouse.
Whoof.
The Real Ghostbusters.
The Real Ghostbusters.
As opposed to the fake Ghostbusters? Well, there was another "Ghostbusters" that we won't talk about that had an ape.
It might have been the first, but it wasn't the best.
Wait, it came before this? Yeah, it be it was first.
Well, this is not the Real Ghostbusters then.
[laughter.]
So why are you selling it today? Thanks to the internet I was able to buy this in '96, and I came across two, so I'm looking to sell one just to maybe buy some new Ghostbuster toys that's out.
Can we take it out of the box? Of course.
How does this come out? The most important thing is the ectoplasma.
Sealed.
- Sealed? It's never been opened.
- This is sealed.
- Never been opened.
- Is it red? I've always thought that the ectoplasma was green.
Well, then this was the extra one that only came with the firehouse.
He still hadn't opened it? Still hadn't opened it, and it fetches a far greater value if you have a sealed can of the original slime.
- Really? - Yeah.
How many people are like, "I'm looking for this, and I'm looking for it complete"? [laughter.]
How many people are looking for it now? I mean, well, with the new incarnation of "Ghostbusters" there's a gigantic renewed interest in Ghostbuster merchandise, "expecially" the the original stuff.
Is this complete? This is complete both: 100%.
Oh, this seems very involved.
Easy assembly.
[chuckling.]
Are you a fan of the movie, the original movie? I'm a huge fan.
It's doh, I can't even tell you how many times I watched it.
[soft laughter.]
I am not having a good time with this.
All right, here we go.
I feel like the firehouse in the movie probably took less time to build.
[laughter.]
All right.
Now who do we got in the bag? Can I look in the bag? Of course.
All right.
Well, we all know this guy.
Ernie.
What was his name in the movie? Winston Zeddemore.
You know, I don't like to brag, but uh, Ernie Hudson and I, were we ran a an ice cream slash comic book truck.
Really? Have you ever sold comics before? Why, you are a natural.
I never sold comics before.
I never thought I'd have to.
[laughs.]
Granted, it was only for one day, but still.
[laughter.]
- So I'm interested.
- Okay.
Now, are you only buying it because you don't want him to disassemble it? [laughter.]
The sealed ectoplasm, I really want it 'cause of this.
A lot of people, they didn't keep it sealed so what do you need for it today? Well, I'm gonna ask for the entire set for $700.
$700? $700? Uhhh.
Yeah, come on Jim, I would say what, uh, this probably worth what, $125 sealed in this condition? Maybe if you can find it, but yeah.
I mean, this it's in the box, it's in good sh I see you have you have a broken clip here though.
- Yeah.
- It's not I think he just did it just now.
[laughter.]
We can probably get around $200 for this, and then the figures, maybe $100.
So what's that total, about 4 about 400 bucks? Retail, $400 retail.
Yeah, seven is a little high.
Okay, well, how about five? My counter-offer is more than you will make on it.
[laughter.]
Um, $250? $235.
I can't go any higher than that.
$235.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, it's I love it and I'm gonna hold onto it.
You're gonna hold onto it? Yeah.
Well, you can't disassemble it here.
Take it outside.
[laughter.]
- This is quite a shop here.
- [exhales sharply.]
- Oh, my God.
Lindsay Wagner.
- [laughs.]
- I'm Lindsay.
Yes.
- The Bionic Woman.
[rock music.]
Working at the Stash can sometimes have the best perks in the entire world.
We had television royalty come into the store the other day.
That's a big watch, man.
Yeah.
Big wrist, big watch, that's what I always say.
I can't wear a watch that big.
Couldn't carry it? No, it looks like a grandfather clock watch.
This is quite a shop here.
Hi.
[exhales sharply.]
- Oh, my God.
- [laughs.]
Hi.
You're Lindsay Wagner.
- I'm Lindsay, yes.
- The Bionic Woman.
Hi, how are you doing? My name is Ming.
I Excuse me if I'm a little afraid to shake your hand, but uh How about like that? I I am I'm a gigantic fan of th-that of your role as Jaime Sommers.
- It's - Aw.
I mean, tell her.
Tell her.
- You okay? - Yeah.
Ming, do you want her around all the time now so he's speechless and won't say anything? - Yeah, yeah.
- [laughter.]
The Bionic Woman was in the Stash? That you know, big part of all of our childhoods.
You loved "The Six Million Dollar Man" but suddenly they spun off.
A whole different show full of bionics with Lindsay Wagner as Jaime Sommers, The Bionic Woman.
I loved Steve Austin.
I loved Steve Austin.
But I wanted to watch "Bionic Woman" more, though.
If I had a choice, either, they're on at the same time, she was gonna win out.
You loved Steve Austin.
You were in love with the Bionic Woman.
Some might say that.
- Everybody here would say it.
- Yeah.
She would say that after she met ya.
[laughter.]
Well, I think you're the only person who could have this kind of reaction on him.
It definitely, uh, I mean, big, big fan.
I mean, your show was my favorite of the of the two bionic shows.
It was so, so entertaining.
It's interesting how it affected you because at that time in history, there was the whole cultural revolution going on.
- Yes.
- And women were being re-defined and allowed to become strong but men were also being re-defined, being allowed to be sensitive and still strong at the same time.
I mean, a perfect example, I mean, I had a choice.
I went to the department store with my father for gonna pick out a lunch box, and I picked out the "Bionic Woman" lunchbox and my dad was like, "No, you want the 'Six Million Dollar Man' lunch box," and I was like, "No, Dad, I want the 'Bionic Woman' lunch box.
" [sighs.]
[laughter.]
One of the first times, you know, I can remember, like, standing up and being, like, "No, Dad.
" I'm gay.
[laughter.]
That's bold, dude.
That's progressive.
I mean, that's how powerful the show was.
Huge step forward for women in television.
She was the hero of her show, so not only is Lindsay Wagner like, "Aaah, she's the Bionic Woman," it's revolutionary as well, man.
And you brought to the role of Jaime Sommers, uh there was a certain tenderness.
I don't know, a lot superheroines stand there, like, they just want to scowl and just be badass 100% of the time and not show that gentle side.
That was our goal.
I wanted to keep her a woman.
I didn't want her to be a man in a skirt coming into a man's role.
That's why we had a lot of times a lot more humor in the show.
We also had her thinking about things instead of just going in and going, "Bonk! I win because I'm stronger.
" There's no point in trying anything, Miss Sommers.
You're surrounded.
We know you're a bionic woman.
No, sir.
I'm just a woman.
I remember one like, th-the music, the everything, but I one of the most i-is the when you had to hear something.
Okay, that's a funny bit.
- Oh, my God, the hair thing.
- That's a funny thing.
The hair flip, right? [beeping.]
That was so weird because it's very strange feeling as an actress you really learn to sense the camera, so when they would do the push-in on my ear it was felt creepy.
It was, like, "Get out of there.
That's private," you know? It was really strange, and so after a while I kept saying, "First of all, if I can hear through that wall, why can't I hear through my hair?" [laughter.]
What's up with that? I refu I refused to do it after about three episodes, three or four episodes, and if you look, you'll see it's the same ear.
Through for three years, you get to see the same ear.
They're, "Oh, we'll get her one way or the other.
" [beeping.]
If you can hear me, come on in.
[beeping.]
What I also love is, uh, you know, the Fembots, the "Kill Oscar" trilogy is some of our favorite thing, like, ever.
I've always wanted to ask that, first encounter with the first Fembot, remember when the mask comes off and you grab that one reaction was that it had to have been a genuine reaction.
[screams.]
Yeah, the mask thing was kind of kind of creepy.
And I actually didn't want to see before the show - as far as the shot.
- It was a genuine reaction.
It was it was yeah, well, might have pushed it a little bit, but Definitely the scariest robots in television history, the Fembots, right? Well, especially when you're that age.
Even now when I watch it now, it still it still, like, when that that face plate came off - It can't be beat.
- I'm gonna have to watch that again.
- I don't remember my reaction.
- It can't be beat.
- Oh, my God, yes.
- It's gold.
[screams.]
I can say without a doubt, this has been the best day ever at the Stash, but why are you at the Stash? Um, I forgot.
I've been here so long.
[laughter.]
That is so cool.
- Pretty majestic, right? - It is fabulous.
I remember the Jaime Sommers doll.
It was it was all the thing, back, you know, back when it was first released.
You know, they came out and and they put this plaster on my face and let it harden and all that and it was very claustrophobic and then they pulled it off, okay, here's this, and then they took this measuring thing that was millimeters and they went around, they measured, like, every little thing on my face.
It took the longest time.
I thought, "Well, this is gonna be really cool.
" So they bring the doll back weeks later, and they go for my approval, and they turn it around, they go like that and I said, "That's Farrah.
" [laughter.]
It looked just like Farrah Fawcett.
I was dumbfounded.
I said, "How could you possibly get that out of that?" I mean, not that she wasn't beautiful, but that's not me.
[rock music.]
Hey.
You could pick a superhero to be a conjoined twin Ooh.
Who would it be and where would they be attached on you? That's easy.
The Atom.
You know, and I'd have it, you know, maybe on my back.
I would ask him, "Can you shrink down, just look like a little pimple on my back," so you don't affect my daily life.
Maybe you're affecting him.
You're twins, man.
You're treating him like he's a parasite.
[laughter.]
I mean, he is in the Justice League of America and I just got to go to work at the Stash.
What about you, Ming? I mean, I guess I-I'd go with Superman and I'd have him coming out somewhere above my upper body, like right here.
Like a rib cage? Yeah, like attached at the hip.
But think about it.
When he's like, "Up, up, and away," you're dangling at the side.
- Yeah.
- It's never gonna work.
You'll rip right apart from him.
But we're conjoined so he takes me with him.
You're not super, too.
You know, you still got a normal body.
Well, as normal as it as it was before you were conjoined with him.
So now Superman can't go into space 'cause his conjoined twin can't survive.
[laughter.]
I thought some of these properties would kind of spill over onto me.
No, nothing spills over to you unless you guys are in the bathroom or something.
[laughter.]
Well, this sucks, then.
This has been the best day ever at the Stash, but why are you at the Stash? Um, I forgot.
I've been here so long.
[laughter.]
Bionic Woman's in our store, man.
Why? Why is she there? Not that I'm not appreciative but why was she there? - To shop.
- Really? My sons are both stunt men, and my oldest son was the double for The Silver Surfer, and I was looking around for a Silver Surfer statue of some kind for him and I went online and they all just kind of don't look really like the Silver Surfer.
They're all, like, cut and angry and it's like, "No, that's not the Silver Surfer," so I didn't know if you had anything that would might be cool, or I think we got just this thing.
Go grab the Bowen Silver Surfer statue.
I think that'll be the perfect item.
Absolutely.
Hang on a sec.
Luckily we had just acquired this beautiful Bowen Silver Surfer statue, the chrome edition, something worthy of Lindsay Wagner.
A Randy Bowen, man, is kind of the mot juste, if you will, of the comic book ephemera sculpture world, so if he did a Silver Surfer, it's got to be beautiful.
- Here you go.
- Oh, that is so cool.
- Pretty majestic, right? - That it is fabulous.
This is a statue released about 15 years ago from Bowen Studios.
It's, uh, the limited chrome edition.
There is also a flat version with, like, flat paint Yeah.
But this is, uh, the much harder-to-find, uh, chrome edition.
Oh.
It's one of the it's one of the more sought-after Silver Surfer pieces out there.
I normally have a distaste for every single thing in this store but I like this lunar base.
Yeah, that's cool, right? That is beautiful.
So how much is this? Uh, h how much is it? Um - I was think - Do this, do this.
- [laughter.]
- I have to do this for him.
That's gonna creep me out.
No, you don't have to do that.
I mean, I wouldn't mind if you did it, but [laughter.]
How about that? I can't tell you how honored we were to have you here today at the Stash, Ms.
Wagner, and the Silver Surfer statue, it's on the house.
For all the wonderful memories you gave us, it's the least we can do.
I can't thank you enough.
That's so cool.
- Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- Just be careful.
And if you're ever in Red Bank again, please, please stop by.
I will do that.
How star-struck were you, though? I never see you I never see you like anything, - to be honest with you.
- No, no.
I mean, we've met a lot of, um, people from our past, a lot of important, important people.
Nothing like meetin' Lindsay Wagner.
It was the numero uno event of this part of my life.
Until you're standing there with your childhood looking you in the face with those familiar dulcet tones ringing through your ears, suddenly you're a kid again.
It's got to, like, - take you right back to childhood.
- Oh, yeah.
It's like a time tunnel.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo! She can hear us now.
[laughter.]
I have some truly outrageous merchandise.
I need to borrow somebody's shades.
- I cannot believe how - I got some sunglasses - how bright this is.
- if you need some.
[laughter.]
You know, I'm thinking about re-designing the store bags.
I want something catchy on there.
Something that'll make the customers remember where they've been.
Like "Jay and Silent Bob's, you've tried all the rest, now try the best.
" That's really good.
I mean, I don't know if I could top that.
Mine would just be kind of like, "Jay and Silent Bob's Ecret Tash.
" Where we leave off the "S" for savings and so Wait a minute.
Say that one again? Jay and Silent Bob's Ecret Tash, where we leave off the "S" s in Secret Stash.
- That's horrible.
- Come on.
I want to try and see if I can say it.
Welcome to Jay and Silent Bob Ecret Ash.
- Ecret Tash.
- Ecret Tash.
It sounds like Helen Keller works here.
[laughter.]
- Hey, how are you? - Hi, how's it going? Good.
I have some truly outrageous merchandise that you guys might be interested in.
I have Flash 'n Sizzle Jem and Jerrica from "Jem and the Holograms," and I have her boyfriend Glitter 'n' Gold Rio.
I need to borrow somebody's shades.
- I cannot believe how - I've got some sun glasses.
- how bright this thing is.
- You're gonna need some.
"Jem and the Holograms" was a cartoon show in the '80s at the time when all of the toys that came out were linked to shows that were going on.
Jem was the truly outrageous star of the show and she was a rock star by night.
I rocked out to a little Jem.
I'm not afraid to admit that.
I'm not afraid to admit that.
And she was a foster mom of, you know, kind of wayward girls during the day.
Yeah, well, you're being modest about Jem.
- Like, this cartoon was huge.
- It was huge.
There was nothing in the '80s that looked like this.
It's very MTV-like when MTV was really cool back then.
They would intercut, uh, videos in between some of the cartoon scenes.
They did mu they did cartoon music videos.
And if you really want to go back and see, like, the '80s through a prism removed, like, by Korean animators.
[laughter.]
It's you have to watch some "Jem," man.
Yeah, no, I'm looking at this bright colorful Mm-hmm.
Um, I'm going to say this had an influence on your own life? I have my Jem tattoo.
It's definitely something that influenced me style-wise.
I became a makeup artist because they had all of this crazy makeup and I would get in my mom's stuff and paint on my face and, you know, flip the tape over to the instrumental side and pretend I was Jem and sing in my room.
Is that how it went for you as well? I was in my room, like, you know I guarantee Jem was too outrageous for him so he he's like, "I'll be the foster mom.
" [laughter.]
So are you looking to sell these today? Yeah.
I actually, um, have doubles of these and there are new Jem dolls that were re-done recently that came out that are beautiful.
They are absolutely gorgeous.
The costumes are amazing.
However, they all start at about $120, so that's - Oh, really.
- So that's yeah.
Mm.
All right, what are you looking to get for it? I was looking at $140 for the pair.
$140? How about $100? Eeehh, Could you come up a little from $100, at least $120? All right, $120.
$120 it is.
All right.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6.
- Thank you.
- Amazing.
- Thank you, guys.
- Rock on, my friend.
Bye.
Oh, man, just like a comic book we love, it's time to close this episode and put it back on the shelf.
For "Comic Book Men," I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Remember, kids, nothing's really broke if you can rebuild it.
And you have the technology.
You can make it better, stronger, faster.
Good night.
What's the craziest thing you would do in order to get your idol's attention? Someone you really love and admire.
Not what would I do, what did I do? Really? Yeah.
1988, Devils made the playoffs for the first time in the franchise history.
I was lucky enough to go up to one of the playoff games and my favorite player was at the time was a guy named Patrik Sundstrom and I I drew this picture of him and the Devils logo inside of a heart [laughter.]
Oh! So when he came out of the locker room, I went to go ha give him the this drawing I did and I was just like, "You're my favorite, uh, player," and I was so nervous, he just grabbed it, he took it, he signed it and gave it right back to me, and he kept on walking.
Wow.
Oh, my God.
Have you ever done anything that romantic for your wife? [laughter.]
[heroic music.]
[laughs.]
[upbeat music.]
Hello and welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show that's smart enough not to drink Granny's peach tea.
I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Okay, men, regale me with stories of high adventure in the world of comic book retail.
Somebody brought in a toy from one of my absolute favorite '80s movies and a movie that's been making kind of a comeback.
Hey, how are you today? Fine, how are you? Pretty good.
I have right here the 1986 Real Ghostbusters firehouse.
Whoof.
The Real Ghostbusters.
The Real Ghostbusters.
As opposed to the fake Ghostbusters? Well, there was another "Ghostbusters" that we won't talk about that had an ape.
It might have been the first, but it wasn't the best.
Wait, it came before this? Yeah, it be it was first.
Well, this is not the Real Ghostbusters then.
[laughter.]
So why are you selling it today? Thanks to the internet I was able to buy this in '96, and I came across two, so I'm looking to sell one just to maybe buy some new Ghostbuster toys that's out.
Can we take it out of the box? Of course.
How does this come out? The most important thing is the ectoplasma.
Sealed.
- Sealed? It's never been opened.
- This is sealed.
- Never been opened.
- Is it red? I've always thought that the ectoplasma was green.
Well, then this was the extra one that only came with the firehouse.
He still hadn't opened it? Still hadn't opened it, and it fetches a far greater value if you have a sealed can of the original slime.
- Really? - Yeah.
How many people are like, "I'm looking for this, and I'm looking for it complete"? [laughter.]
How many people are looking for it now? I mean, well, with the new incarnation of "Ghostbusters" there's a gigantic renewed interest in Ghostbuster merchandise, "expecially" the the original stuff.
Is this complete? This is complete both: 100%.
Oh, this seems very involved.
Easy assembly.
[chuckling.]
Are you a fan of the movie, the original movie? I'm a huge fan.
It's doh, I can't even tell you how many times I watched it.
[soft laughter.]
I am not having a good time with this.
All right, here we go.
I feel like the firehouse in the movie probably took less time to build.
[laughter.]
All right.
Now who do we got in the bag? Can I look in the bag? Of course.
All right.
Well, we all know this guy.
Ernie.
What was his name in the movie? Winston Zeddemore.
You know, I don't like to brag, but uh, Ernie Hudson and I, were we ran a an ice cream slash comic book truck.
Really? Have you ever sold comics before? Why, you are a natural.
I never sold comics before.
I never thought I'd have to.
[laughs.]
Granted, it was only for one day, but still.
[laughter.]
- So I'm interested.
- Okay.
Now, are you only buying it because you don't want him to disassemble it? [laughter.]
The sealed ectoplasm, I really want it 'cause of this.
A lot of people, they didn't keep it sealed so what do you need for it today? Well, I'm gonna ask for the entire set for $700.
$700? $700? Uhhh.
Yeah, come on Jim, I would say what, uh, this probably worth what, $125 sealed in this condition? Maybe if you can find it, but yeah.
I mean, this it's in the box, it's in good sh I see you have you have a broken clip here though.
- Yeah.
- It's not I think he just did it just now.
[laughter.]
We can probably get around $200 for this, and then the figures, maybe $100.
So what's that total, about 4 about 400 bucks? Retail, $400 retail.
Yeah, seven is a little high.
Okay, well, how about five? My counter-offer is more than you will make on it.
[laughter.]
Um, $250? $235.
I can't go any higher than that.
$235.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, it's I love it and I'm gonna hold onto it.
You're gonna hold onto it? Yeah.
Well, you can't disassemble it here.
Take it outside.
[laughter.]
- This is quite a shop here.
- [exhales sharply.]
- Oh, my God.
Lindsay Wagner.
- [laughs.]
- I'm Lindsay.
Yes.
- The Bionic Woman.
[rock music.]
Working at the Stash can sometimes have the best perks in the entire world.
We had television royalty come into the store the other day.
That's a big watch, man.
Yeah.
Big wrist, big watch, that's what I always say.
I can't wear a watch that big.
Couldn't carry it? No, it looks like a grandfather clock watch.
This is quite a shop here.
Hi.
[exhales sharply.]
- Oh, my God.
- [laughs.]
Hi.
You're Lindsay Wagner.
- I'm Lindsay, yes.
- The Bionic Woman.
Hi, how are you doing? My name is Ming.
I Excuse me if I'm a little afraid to shake your hand, but uh How about like that? I I am I'm a gigantic fan of th-that of your role as Jaime Sommers.
- It's - Aw.
I mean, tell her.
Tell her.
- You okay? - Yeah.
Ming, do you want her around all the time now so he's speechless and won't say anything? - Yeah, yeah.
- [laughter.]
The Bionic Woman was in the Stash? That you know, big part of all of our childhoods.
You loved "The Six Million Dollar Man" but suddenly they spun off.
A whole different show full of bionics with Lindsay Wagner as Jaime Sommers, The Bionic Woman.
I loved Steve Austin.
I loved Steve Austin.
But I wanted to watch "Bionic Woman" more, though.
If I had a choice, either, they're on at the same time, she was gonna win out.
You loved Steve Austin.
You were in love with the Bionic Woman.
Some might say that.
- Everybody here would say it.
- Yeah.
She would say that after she met ya.
[laughter.]
Well, I think you're the only person who could have this kind of reaction on him.
It definitely, uh, I mean, big, big fan.
I mean, your show was my favorite of the of the two bionic shows.
It was so, so entertaining.
It's interesting how it affected you because at that time in history, there was the whole cultural revolution going on.
- Yes.
- And women were being re-defined and allowed to become strong but men were also being re-defined, being allowed to be sensitive and still strong at the same time.
I mean, a perfect example, I mean, I had a choice.
I went to the department store with my father for gonna pick out a lunch box, and I picked out the "Bionic Woman" lunchbox and my dad was like, "No, you want the 'Six Million Dollar Man' lunch box," and I was like, "No, Dad, I want the 'Bionic Woman' lunch box.
" [sighs.]
[laughter.]
One of the first times, you know, I can remember, like, standing up and being, like, "No, Dad.
" I'm gay.
[laughter.]
That's bold, dude.
That's progressive.
I mean, that's how powerful the show was.
Huge step forward for women in television.
She was the hero of her show, so not only is Lindsay Wagner like, "Aaah, she's the Bionic Woman," it's revolutionary as well, man.
And you brought to the role of Jaime Sommers, uh there was a certain tenderness.
I don't know, a lot superheroines stand there, like, they just want to scowl and just be badass 100% of the time and not show that gentle side.
That was our goal.
I wanted to keep her a woman.
I didn't want her to be a man in a skirt coming into a man's role.
That's why we had a lot of times a lot more humor in the show.
We also had her thinking about things instead of just going in and going, "Bonk! I win because I'm stronger.
" There's no point in trying anything, Miss Sommers.
You're surrounded.
We know you're a bionic woman.
No, sir.
I'm just a woman.
I remember one like, th-the music, the everything, but I one of the most i-is the when you had to hear something.
Okay, that's a funny bit.
- Oh, my God, the hair thing.
- That's a funny thing.
The hair flip, right? [beeping.]
That was so weird because it's very strange feeling as an actress you really learn to sense the camera, so when they would do the push-in on my ear it was felt creepy.
It was, like, "Get out of there.
That's private," you know? It was really strange, and so after a while I kept saying, "First of all, if I can hear through that wall, why can't I hear through my hair?" [laughter.]
What's up with that? I refu I refused to do it after about three episodes, three or four episodes, and if you look, you'll see it's the same ear.
Through for three years, you get to see the same ear.
They're, "Oh, we'll get her one way or the other.
" [beeping.]
If you can hear me, come on in.
[beeping.]
What I also love is, uh, you know, the Fembots, the "Kill Oscar" trilogy is some of our favorite thing, like, ever.
I've always wanted to ask that, first encounter with the first Fembot, remember when the mask comes off and you grab that one reaction was that it had to have been a genuine reaction.
[screams.]
Yeah, the mask thing was kind of kind of creepy.
And I actually didn't want to see before the show - as far as the shot.
- It was a genuine reaction.
It was it was yeah, well, might have pushed it a little bit, but Definitely the scariest robots in television history, the Fembots, right? Well, especially when you're that age.
Even now when I watch it now, it still it still, like, when that that face plate came off - It can't be beat.
- I'm gonna have to watch that again.
- I don't remember my reaction.
- It can't be beat.
- Oh, my God, yes.
- It's gold.
[screams.]
I can say without a doubt, this has been the best day ever at the Stash, but why are you at the Stash? Um, I forgot.
I've been here so long.
[laughter.]
That is so cool.
- Pretty majestic, right? - It is fabulous.
I remember the Jaime Sommers doll.
It was it was all the thing, back, you know, back when it was first released.
You know, they came out and and they put this plaster on my face and let it harden and all that and it was very claustrophobic and then they pulled it off, okay, here's this, and then they took this measuring thing that was millimeters and they went around, they measured, like, every little thing on my face.
It took the longest time.
I thought, "Well, this is gonna be really cool.
" So they bring the doll back weeks later, and they go for my approval, and they turn it around, they go like that and I said, "That's Farrah.
" [laughter.]
It looked just like Farrah Fawcett.
I was dumbfounded.
I said, "How could you possibly get that out of that?" I mean, not that she wasn't beautiful, but that's not me.
[rock music.]
Hey.
You could pick a superhero to be a conjoined twin Ooh.
Who would it be and where would they be attached on you? That's easy.
The Atom.
You know, and I'd have it, you know, maybe on my back.
I would ask him, "Can you shrink down, just look like a little pimple on my back," so you don't affect my daily life.
Maybe you're affecting him.
You're twins, man.
You're treating him like he's a parasite.
[laughter.]
I mean, he is in the Justice League of America and I just got to go to work at the Stash.
What about you, Ming? I mean, I guess I-I'd go with Superman and I'd have him coming out somewhere above my upper body, like right here.
Like a rib cage? Yeah, like attached at the hip.
But think about it.
When he's like, "Up, up, and away," you're dangling at the side.
- Yeah.
- It's never gonna work.
You'll rip right apart from him.
But we're conjoined so he takes me with him.
You're not super, too.
You know, you still got a normal body.
Well, as normal as it as it was before you were conjoined with him.
So now Superman can't go into space 'cause his conjoined twin can't survive.
[laughter.]
I thought some of these properties would kind of spill over onto me.
No, nothing spills over to you unless you guys are in the bathroom or something.
[laughter.]
Well, this sucks, then.
This has been the best day ever at the Stash, but why are you at the Stash? Um, I forgot.
I've been here so long.
[laughter.]
Bionic Woman's in our store, man.
Why? Why is she there? Not that I'm not appreciative but why was she there? - To shop.
- Really? My sons are both stunt men, and my oldest son was the double for The Silver Surfer, and I was looking around for a Silver Surfer statue of some kind for him and I went online and they all just kind of don't look really like the Silver Surfer.
They're all, like, cut and angry and it's like, "No, that's not the Silver Surfer," so I didn't know if you had anything that would might be cool, or I think we got just this thing.
Go grab the Bowen Silver Surfer statue.
I think that'll be the perfect item.
Absolutely.
Hang on a sec.
Luckily we had just acquired this beautiful Bowen Silver Surfer statue, the chrome edition, something worthy of Lindsay Wagner.
A Randy Bowen, man, is kind of the mot juste, if you will, of the comic book ephemera sculpture world, so if he did a Silver Surfer, it's got to be beautiful.
- Here you go.
- Oh, that is so cool.
- Pretty majestic, right? - That it is fabulous.
This is a statue released about 15 years ago from Bowen Studios.
It's, uh, the limited chrome edition.
There is also a flat version with, like, flat paint Yeah.
But this is, uh, the much harder-to-find, uh, chrome edition.
Oh.
It's one of the it's one of the more sought-after Silver Surfer pieces out there.
I normally have a distaste for every single thing in this store but I like this lunar base.
Yeah, that's cool, right? That is beautiful.
So how much is this? Uh, h how much is it? Um - I was think - Do this, do this.
- [laughter.]
- I have to do this for him.
That's gonna creep me out.
No, you don't have to do that.
I mean, I wouldn't mind if you did it, but [laughter.]
How about that? I can't tell you how honored we were to have you here today at the Stash, Ms.
Wagner, and the Silver Surfer statue, it's on the house.
For all the wonderful memories you gave us, it's the least we can do.
I can't thank you enough.
That's so cool.
- Thank you, thank you, thank you.
- Just be careful.
And if you're ever in Red Bank again, please, please stop by.
I will do that.
How star-struck were you, though? I never see you I never see you like anything, - to be honest with you.
- No, no.
I mean, we've met a lot of, um, people from our past, a lot of important, important people.
Nothing like meetin' Lindsay Wagner.
It was the numero uno event of this part of my life.
Until you're standing there with your childhood looking you in the face with those familiar dulcet tones ringing through your ears, suddenly you're a kid again.
It's got to, like, - take you right back to childhood.
- Oh, yeah.
It's like a time tunnel.
Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo! She can hear us now.
[laughter.]
I have some truly outrageous merchandise.
I need to borrow somebody's shades.
- I cannot believe how - I got some sunglasses - how bright this is.
- if you need some.
[laughter.]
You know, I'm thinking about re-designing the store bags.
I want something catchy on there.
Something that'll make the customers remember where they've been.
Like "Jay and Silent Bob's, you've tried all the rest, now try the best.
" That's really good.
I mean, I don't know if I could top that.
Mine would just be kind of like, "Jay and Silent Bob's Ecret Tash.
" Where we leave off the "S" for savings and so Wait a minute.
Say that one again? Jay and Silent Bob's Ecret Tash, where we leave off the "S" s in Secret Stash.
- That's horrible.
- Come on.
I want to try and see if I can say it.
Welcome to Jay and Silent Bob Ecret Ash.
- Ecret Tash.
- Ecret Tash.
It sounds like Helen Keller works here.
[laughter.]
- Hey, how are you? - Hi, how's it going? Good.
I have some truly outrageous merchandise that you guys might be interested in.
I have Flash 'n Sizzle Jem and Jerrica from "Jem and the Holograms," and I have her boyfriend Glitter 'n' Gold Rio.
I need to borrow somebody's shades.
- I cannot believe how - I've got some sun glasses.
- how bright this thing is.
- You're gonna need some.
"Jem and the Holograms" was a cartoon show in the '80s at the time when all of the toys that came out were linked to shows that were going on.
Jem was the truly outrageous star of the show and she was a rock star by night.
I rocked out to a little Jem.
I'm not afraid to admit that.
I'm not afraid to admit that.
And she was a foster mom of, you know, kind of wayward girls during the day.
Yeah, well, you're being modest about Jem.
- Like, this cartoon was huge.
- It was huge.
There was nothing in the '80s that looked like this.
It's very MTV-like when MTV was really cool back then.
They would intercut, uh, videos in between some of the cartoon scenes.
They did mu they did cartoon music videos.
And if you really want to go back and see, like, the '80s through a prism removed, like, by Korean animators.
[laughter.]
It's you have to watch some "Jem," man.
Yeah, no, I'm looking at this bright colorful Mm-hmm.
Um, I'm going to say this had an influence on your own life? I have my Jem tattoo.
It's definitely something that influenced me style-wise.
I became a makeup artist because they had all of this crazy makeup and I would get in my mom's stuff and paint on my face and, you know, flip the tape over to the instrumental side and pretend I was Jem and sing in my room.
Is that how it went for you as well? I was in my room, like, you know I guarantee Jem was too outrageous for him so he he's like, "I'll be the foster mom.
" [laughter.]
So are you looking to sell these today? Yeah.
I actually, um, have doubles of these and there are new Jem dolls that were re-done recently that came out that are beautiful.
They are absolutely gorgeous.
The costumes are amazing.
However, they all start at about $120, so that's - Oh, really.
- So that's yeah.
Mm.
All right, what are you looking to get for it? I was looking at $140 for the pair.
$140? How about $100? Eeehh, Could you come up a little from $100, at least $120? All right, $120.
$120 it is.
All right.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6.
- Thank you.
- Amazing.
- Thank you, guys.
- Rock on, my friend.
Bye.
Oh, man, just like a comic book we love, it's time to close this episode and put it back on the shelf.
For "Comic Book Men," I'm Kevin Smith.
- Bryan Johnson.
- Walt Flanagan.
- Mike Zapcic.
- Ming Chen.
Remember, kids, nothing's really broke if you can rebuild it.
And you have the technology.
You can make it better, stronger, faster.
Good night.