Dawson's Creek s06e05 Episode Script

Help? He might notice you faster if you let me do a little work on that T-shirt of yours.
A few rips, a few tears.
- Do wonders for your tips.
- My what? Your tips.
Your gratuities.
- What did you think I said? - Nothing.
- Yes.
- Oh, finally.
Could you make me wait a little longer the next time? Sorry, I guess I find you a little intimidating now you've tried to ram your tongue down my throat.
I need two drafts, a boilermaker, and we agreed to never speak of that again.
- I don't remember that conversation.
- It was implied.
Social conventions dictate that when something embarrassing happens we all tacitly agree to never speak of them again.
It's what keeps us going as a society.
That and alcohol.
- Yeah, well, I don't.
- You don't what? Don't agree.
I really don't feel like getting into a philosophical discussion about this.
- I just would like you to maybe- - Oh, good God.
You two aren't fighting again, are you? No, no.
Apparently we're having some kind of philosophical discussion.
Oh, good.
Because I'm leaving.
Off to rehearsal, where I hopefully still have a few band members left to fire before our big Hell's Kitchen debut performance tomorrow night.
If you want me to put up some of those flyers for you, I can.
Oh, you are a love, aren't you? It's getting a bit crowded back there so if you two could kiss and make up, the customers would appreciate it.
- You told her.
- Coincidence.
- What? Why would I tell her? - To embarrass me.
Oh, now, you're doing a pretty good job of that all by yourself.
Has anybody told you how pretty you are? I think I have about 5000 times.
- Hey.
- Hi.
You know what? It's getting late.
I should get to bed.
Big day tomorrow.
Not to worry.
You'll be great, luv.
If you weren't such a disaster with women you might be sneaking off to join her right now.
- Well, carry on.
- Hold on.
You're not getting rid of me that fast.
As I suspected, you are not here to participate in the general debauchery.
You're here to bore me with little work-related details.
People want to know what plan B is for Friday.
Tell them there is no plan B.
You gotta call Heather Tracy back.
She's called six times in two days.
Leery, your inability to relax disturbs me.
We're three days behind, gone into penalties every day.
We got a monster day tomorrow, no shot list a 70 percent chance of rain on Friday, and no plan B.
How is that no worries? Three days? I thought it was four.
Heather.
Todd.
Don't look so surprised.
This is what you get for not returning my phone calls.
No.
It's lovely.
It's lovely to see you.
- Do you remember Dawson? - We can B.
S.
the pleasantries later.
Right now I'm gonna need you to get me a better room.
The girl at the front desk said it's impossible but I'm sure you can work your little PA magic.
- What? - Nothing.
- Is it good? - Is what good? The book.
Honey, it's required.
How can it be good? Well, it's just the first book that I've seen you crack all semester.
Does she actually drink this green stuff? - Hey, Audrey.
- What? - Well, I'm trying to talk to you.
- Okay, I'm listening.
Great.
Then maybe you can tell me what's been bothering you all week.
Nothing is bothering me.
Really? Because you've been acting a little weird.
Okay, Pacey.
Define "weird.
" Fine.
"Weird" is studious.
"Weird" is quiet.
What, so I act like Joey for a change, and all of a sudden I'm weird? Okay, fine.
I just want to know if perhaps you and Jen got into a little bit of trouble at that party.
No.
You know what? That girl's not even on a first-name basis with trouble.
Jack and I were talking, and he said that he lost you - and he was a little worried- - It was crowded and Jen ran into somebody that she knew.
Oh, really? - A guy? - Yes.
A nice guy.
A regular knight in shining armour.
Yeah, I'm sure he was.
Just like me, right? Yes, honey.
Just like you.
You know, funny thing.
We are all alone here tonight.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
- No, it's just I'm really tired and- - Yeah, of course.
Tired.
- No, because we could- - No.
I'm only- It's all right.
Just.
No.
I'm just It's fine.
Pacey.
- Pacey! - Yes.
What? I didn't do it.
You stayed up again all last night, haven't you? - Yes.
- And you finished all the coffee.
No.
Okay, yes.
But there's more.
We have plenty.
And you know, it's strange.
They say it's hard to stay up all night.
It's not.
It's that hour from 4 to 5 that gets you.
But you'd be amazed what your mind retains.
I know all about market options, equity accounts, nonconvertible bonds- - Pacey! - Yes? - Coffee! - I got it.
That's not your bloody girlfriend in the shower again, is it? Nope.
That's Jack.
And do you know how long she's gonna be in there? That depends, really, on how big a water tank you have.
- Didn't we talk about this? - Yes, we did.
- She's here all the time.
- Yes, she is.
You know a great idea? If the two of you would discuss this, and then I'll go to work and you tell me how it works out.
Okay.
Bye-bye.
Have a good day.
Bye.
Audrey.
- Hey, so what happened? - When? - At the party after we lost you.
- Where'd you guys go, anyway? - Nowhere.
- Yeah, right.
Look, don't change the subject on me.
I want the details.
Look, nothing happened.
What could happen? The guy's straight.
Even if he woke up one morning and was suddenly gay it's not like I would actually get involved with the guy.
Come on.
- You wouldn't? - No.
God, no.
Greetings, everyone.
Sorry I'm late.
But I see exhibits A, B, C, and D have arrived by which I mean my teaching assistants who may now begin the arduous task of handing you back your papers.
Unless you'd prefer to sit here for 50 minutes staring at them while I drone on about representations of the single father in pre- and post-Vietnam American television.
No? No, I didn't think so.
These papers represent most of which were graded by the TAs, of course.
But I did review all the grades myself and I am prepared to deal with any sob stories coming my way.
- Just please keep in mind - Yay.
this isn't the first time I've heard how a B plus ruins - Turn it over.
- you getting into a decent law school.
Should've kept walking.
- Here.
Let me.
- Nope.
I got it.
- Just trying to be nice.
- Well, don't.
- I liked you better when you were surly.
- I am not- Look, I think that we have both been acting a little immature since the incident.
I've been acting immature? - I know that I have.
- Don't do that.
Don't back down.
If you do that in class today, Hetson's gonna eat you alive.
I see.
And when will you be gracing us with your in-class presentation? You know, if you think I'm being a jerk, just tell me.
How is that gonna help us get along better? It's not, but let's not pretend things are all nice when they're not.
- They're not? - No.
The " incident," as you so clinically refer to it was you kissing me on the mouth with some sort of twisted intent we've yet to clarify.
Agreeable, yes, but hardly nice.
What, so now we have to get into some sort of semantic argument? - So you coming or what? - What, to the library? - That's where we're headed.
- Where you were headed.
If you're still feeling nice, you might wanna hang some of these up in there.
Yeah, well, he wants a new DP, and he wants him now.
It's not even noon, and she's already fired people on three continents.
- A three-egg omelette? - One egg, two egg whites.
Let's do it.
Yeah? Well, if I knew that, then I'd be the assistant.
Listen, sweetie, I gotta go.
- Breakfast is served.
- I'm not gonna beat around the bush.
As your little friend here pointed out last night you're way behind schedule and way over budget both of which we could live with if the footage were a dream.
But we hate the girl.
- Natasha? - Natasha, Natalie, Nadia, whatever.
The one with the nice rack.
I know you said you could work with her, but we figure we shut down, we recast- Hold on a bloody minute here.
She may have been a bit unprepared, but you don't shut down a production- She can do this job.
For a horror movie to work, the heroine's gotta be sexy and intelligent.
- Natasha is that girl.
- Why do I care what he thinks? He is the target demographic.
Show her some cut footage.
We can put some together by this afternoon.
You really think that's gonna change my mind? Couldn't hurt.
Yeah? Okay, well, this has gotta be some kind of mistake.
I mean, mine's higher than yours.
- Looks that way.
- And you've actually been - working hard all semester.
- Well, apparently not hard enough.
Real nice work.
Don't tell me, another unsatisfied customer.
I just had a question about my grade.
C minus seems a little low for a paper that you enjoyed.
- I said that, did I? - Yeah, you did the other night.
Of course.
What I meant was I really enjoyed the content.
Your grasp of structure, on the other hand, is quite rudimentary.
I can recommend a few books that might help.
However, I do have another class I need to get to right now.
Yeah, sure.
You know, a C minus really isn't all that bad, Jack.
You told me yourself you weren't a very motivated student.
Well, I guess I thought I was doing better this term.
Well, maybe your expectations were too high.
Slower.
Slower.
- Daryl, you deaf shagwit.
Cut! - Cut on rehearsal.
Can someone find Leery for me, please? Sure.
Right here.
- So is she gone? - She left 15 minutes ago with directions to the gym.
Meet with her and the editor at lunch.
Hair and makeup's done with Natasha.
We're just waiting on camera.
Excellent.
Just the chance I've been waiting for.
What are you gonna do? What do you think I'm gonna do? - Favourite part of the job.
- You don't mean that.
Course I do.
Nothing's as fun as explaining to the overpaid hairdos they're replaceable.
- I thought you liked her.
- I do.
Not as much as you do, which may be clouding your judgment on this matter.
How is yelling at her gonna help? You destroy her confidence, the day's not gonna go any faster.
Let me let you in on a little secret.
Two-bit horrors that get shut down one week into production don't always get started up again.
As someone who works for me, my employment might interest you.
- So you'd fire her just like that.
- If it's a choice between her and me.
That'd be dead easy now, wouldn't it? Todd, they need you at camera.
This discussion is not over.
Excuse me.
I thought I had five minutes.
Sorry.
Black bra, white shirt.
Never a good idea.
So I heard Todd wants to talk with me.
Yeah.
It's about this shot.
- What, it's complicated? - Well, he likes to move the camera.
Yeah, so I noticed.
So who's that woman you guys were talking to? She's the executive in charge of production.
She's worried about all the overtime.
Cool.
Is something wrong, Dawson? No, nothing other than you being naked when I walked in.
Such a prude.
If we work together, you're gonna have to get over things like that.
All right.
You have to learn how to not leave every room I walk into.
Okay, so we both have room for improvement.
I know I'm in the doghouse.
What makes you think that? Look.
Todd's not the best communicator, and he's not a touchy-feely guy.
A girl can just tell.
That's why I really need to nail this big scene tonight.
Help me? My best friend's dying, and I don't know what to be thinking.
Don't think.
Your friend's dying.
What you gonna do? I don't know.
- Save her? Comfort her? - And if that doesn't work? - Save myself? - Exactly.
Don't think.
Just act.
Just- When Todd asks you to jump- - Ask how high.
- And how far.
Always be aware where the camera is.
That's how you communicate with him.
You really think that's gonna work? They're ready for you, Natasha.
I guarantee it.
Thank you.
You're kidding me, right? Stan, look, I'm as risk-averse as the next guy, but you're just quitting.
You're not keeping up with inflation and, Stan, all I'm asking for is a hint of your interest, and I will- I'm gonna have to call back but I'll be in touch, because this is gonna be a hot issue.
There you are.
Finally.
That mean receptionist- Audrey, what are you doing here? No hello? No smooch? I'm telling you it took forever to- Honey.
We can't do this here.
- Get a room, Witter.
- That's a great idea.
Thanks for the tip.
- Okay, let's go to the conference room.
- Bye, everyone.
Audrey, you really can't just pop in like this.
Well, what am I supposed to do, Pacey? - You won't take any of my phone calls.
- Because I'm at work.
When I'm at work, I'm on the phone, which makes it difficult to take calls.
I shouldn't be in here right now.
I should be outside- On the phone.
I get it.
Okay, please don't be mad at me.
Please? Please? The best thing has happened, and I wouldn't have come if it weren't major.
- How major? - Emma has asked me to be in her band.
Me.
For real.
I mean, well, it's sort of on a trial basis because she still can't stand me and thinks I ate all of her basmati rice but we have been rehearsing all day.
We have a gig tonight at Hell's Kitchen.
- That's great.
- I know.
Which is why I had to come and coerce you into coming out this evening.
Honey, I need you there.
It's kind of like my audition and Emma is a temperamental control freak when it comes to her band.
- Say no more.
- You'll come? - I will.
Just so long as you- - I'm leaving.
Okay.
Bye.
The games continue, and, of course culminate in the explanation of the cryptogrammic paper.
Stop.
I'm so bored, I'm losing my pulse here, Potter.
When Humbert gets that urgent phone call he returns to find Lolita doing what with the likes of Clare Quilty? - Playing tennis.
- What kind of tennis? Good tennis? Potter.
Oh, you disappoint me.
How are we ever gonna learn when the person teaching hasn't read the book? Somebody? Anybody? Eddie.
Of course, Eddie.
Eddie always knows.
I mean, rarely volunteers, but always knows.
So please, enlighten us.
- Doubles.
- Told you.
Always knows.
And thank God he's here to pick up the slack for Miss Potter who may now return to boring us.
Maybe if you laid off her for two seconds she might not be so nervous.
What was that? A little criticism of my teaching techniques? Because I have to say I've always considered myself lenient.
Pretty willing to overlook certain things that more traditional, by-the-book teachers might not appreciate.
Whatever.
Oh, you don't agree? I'm ready to make this a larger discussion any time you are.
In fact, I've been ready for weeks now.
Am I teaching here or what? Because the doubles thing is very important.
I know.
That's why I brought it up.
I'll give you a chance to redeem yourself.
Circa 1940, a well-known Russian émigré writer named Vladimir Sirin ceases to exist.
Why? S- I-R-I-N.
No idea? You should ask your always-better-prepared doppelgänger.
- Eddie.
- He never existed in the first place.
Never existed? You mean he was a shadow? A shade? A double, perhaps? Someone passing himself off as someone else? You could say that, or say it was a pen name.
You could, but a secret identity, nonetheless.
I'm sorry.
This seems a little off-topic for you? No, I'm just saying I get the point.
- But do the rest of them? - Do they need to? You tell me.
Personally, I think the question is moot.
But if it really bothers you that much, I'll go.
Don't just stand there, Potter.
Carry on.
In a minute.
- Did you just say what I think you said? - Yes.
Hey, wait up.
- Are you leaving too? - No, you're coming back.
I don't know what just happened, but you can't back down- You're right.
You don't know what just happened so maybe the best thing for you to do is just mind your own damn business.
If he's not here, he must not be working tonight.
- He works every night.
- Well, not this one.
Well, you wouldn't happen to know where he lives, do you? A flat somewhere.
Take you, like, two hours to get there on public transport.
- You mean he doesn't live on campus? - Which one? - Worthington? - Why would he live on the Worthington campus? No reason.
You didn't think he was a student, did you? I mean, I know he reads a lot.
He does.
You don't think they'd have his address on file in the back, do you? Probably.
Thanks.
And I'll be back to close, and good luck tonight with the gig.
Thank you.
Got a bit of a surprise for you, actually.
Really.
- Somebody, please help me! - I can't talk right now.
Well, that constitutes improvement.
Adequate instead of abysmal.
- That's not fair.
- Get me Chatsworth.
I mean, come on.
Is she supposed to be looking down, or does she just not know her marks? New York, L.
A.
, I don't care.
- She barely watched it.
- I can see that.
But exactly whose job are you trying to save here? Everyone's.
The worst possible thing is that you get shut down.
Get her to watch it again.
Highlight Natasha's strengths, not weaknesses.
Use that close-up.
And change that music.
Do it.
Fast.
And you stay here.
What's needed now is cool professionalism.
- Right.
- Please help me.
- All right.
- Help me.
Fine.
I'll hold.
Heather, luv.
How about we discuss this rationally before you throw out several thousand feet of film? Rational? Like the time you took me to Bermuda with you and dumped me for an exotic dance instructor? No reason to get personal.
You're engaged, I'm- Working on a film that's about to be shut down by me and quite possibly never started up again.
Still holding.
You signed off on this girl, did you not? It wasn't some other Prada-wearing nightmare I accidentally shagged! I signed off on her because I thought you could get a performance out of her.
- He did.
You just haven't seen it yet.
- Scott? Somebody, please help me! Somebody! Help me! Somebody! Somebody, help me! Please, please.
Somebody, please help me! Better, no? Before it was all about the location.
Now we're alone with her and her fear.
What do you think? Your job could be on the line here too, you know.
Well, I think your little friend here makes a good point.
Come on.
Jack.
Sorry, I didn't know anybody else was out there.
Yeah.
Must take a while to get to the end of all your adoring fans.
So, what can I help you with? I've been thinking about this all day.
One thing I gotta ask about this paper.
Sure.
If I hadn't been so shocked about what you said to me the other night would this C minus have been any higher? Low blow.
Yeah.
I'm just trying to make an informed decision.
And if that's what it's all about, ask me again, I might say yes this time.
I don't know what to say.
Sometimes people read too much into things.
How about too little? I'm willing to go- I get it.
I get your point.
It's one thing to be some scared teenager afraid of his friends, his family afraid of what everybody he meets might say about him.
I can forgive that.
Hell, I can expect that.
But you, you're an adult.
Somebody's married to you.
You're ruining lives on a much larger scale.
What can I say? Not everyone's willing to make sacrifices for some political agenda.
Not everybody's willing to spend their lives being part of a despised minority.
Yeah.
Well, if that's true then maybe you should ask yourself who's doing the despising.
So you checked.
He's out there, right? Well, I'm not exactly sure.
It's kind of too crowded to tell.
- How crowded? - Way crowded.
Why? You okay? You're not scared? No! God, no.
Why would I be scared? I don't know.
You just seem sort of tense.
- I'm fine.
- Hey.
- About the other night.
- What other night? When we got really drunk.
You know what? To be honest-to-God truthful with you, Jen I don't really remember that at all so- Okay, ladies, enough checking your makeup.
I think the crowd's suitably drunk by now.
Does that mean that we're on? It does.
- The piercings are a nice touch.
- Thank you.
- Screw this up, and I'll kill you.
- Okay.
Sure.
Hey, everybody.
We're the Hell's Belles, and we thought we'd play a few songs for you now.
You know, something soothing, something relaxing, something What the hell you doing here? - You scared me.
- Yeah, obviously.
I asked you a question.
I just wanted to talk to you about what happened in class.
Yeah, well, since I'm not really in that class anymore- Look, I know.
I get it, okay? I get that you're not really a student.
- You get that, do you? - Yeah.
I don't really get what it was all for, but I've come a long way.
Maybe you could give me a glass of water or something? So my presentation actually went okay after you left.
- I mean, I went in there, and I- - Congratulations, Joey.
I'm happy for you.
I'm sure you're seconds away from breaking Hetson's crusty exterior earning his undying respect, and graduating magna cum laude.
Or save yourself a lot of trouble and sleep with the man.
Is it just me, or do you react this nicely to everyone trying to help you? - What? No response? - You have to give me a second here.
I'm still trying to process the condescending notion that help is actually required.
You don't think it's possible I could understand? No, I don't.
I'm sorry I didn't turn out to be who you thought I was, but you know what? Probably not too wise to invest that much in people you barely know.
- Oh, I haven't invested anything in you.
- Oh, yeah? Then why are you here? It seems that you're wasting valuable time better spent trying to get back with that preppy boyfriend of yours, if he'll have you.
Remember when you told me to tell you when you're a jerk? Yeah.
You could have saved yourself a lot of trouble by just calling first.
I guess it didn't seem like trouble at the time.
Oh, my God, that was amazing! - Yeah, well, it didn't suck! - Oh, come on.
It worked.
They loved us.
Admit it.
They loved us.
All right.
Yeah, they loved us.
- Honey, you made it! - I didn't see the whole thing - but you were great.
- More than great.
Amazing.
See? Do you see that? We were amazing.
Where's Pacey? Heather, there's someone I'd like you to meet.
Natasha, this is Heather Tracy from the studio.
- Hi.
- Oh, my God.
It is so great to finally meet you.
You have amazing skin.
- Thanks.
- Such a total pro.
We are so happy to have you on our team.
Great job in the scene tonight, by the way.
Thanks.
I decided not to think tonight.
- Heather, shall we? - Goody.
I can hardly wait.
See you kids later.
- She hates me, right? - I wouldn't say that.
It's not a good sign when the director leaves at lunch with someone who's just arrived from L.
A.
What'd you guys do, go shoe shopping? - Start auditioning my replacement? - The first one.
You're not a good liar, Dawson.
In fact, you're a spectacularly bad liar.
Come on.
You can be honest with me.
- I got this job on a fluke.
- You got it because you're the best - for the part.
Tremendously talented.
- Yeah, right.
Or maybe just tremendously lucky.
I think everyone feels that way about success.
That is, everyone with a soul.
And you've still got one, right? I think so.
I think that may be why we ended up together, you and me.
When we met at that party I was pretty down on myself.
I thought maybe I was an idiot for trying to do this thing and that I should just give up, and, I don't know be a kindergarten teacher like my mom tells me.
- A kindergarten teacher? - Yeah.
There's a lot she doesn't know about my teen years.
Anyway, I remember thinking if one more working actor sits next to me and starts complaining about his life, I will scream.
Get up out of this chair and run screaming to California Pizza Kitchen quit my job, and move home.
And then you came over.
Why did you do that, anyway? Honestly? You were the only hot girl who looked like she'd read a book in her life.
And you knew then I was right for this part.
After I talked to you, yeah.
So you weren't just chatting me up? - I was chatting you up.
- You were? I figured telling you about a big audition couldn't hurt.
Yeah.
Then I nailed it.
I still can't believe it.
God, that was a great day.
It felt like my luck was finally changing.
- It has.
- Yes, it has.
Well, I should go get changed.
All right.
But maybe tonight at the bar, we could I don't know, play some air hockey or throw some darts.
I'd like that.
Me too.
It rocks that the bar's across the street.
It simplifies things a bit, actually.
- I really should thank you.
- What for? For taking a chance on me and all that crap.
Can't really mess up punk rock all that bad.
But still, it was important to you, and you trusted me, and Let's not hug.
Your pig of a boyfriend's likely to enjoy that.
He would, actually.
Oh, dear.
Poor sot.
He stayed up all last night.
Should have known he was gonna crash.
Oh, well.
See you tomorrow.
Good night.
Good night.
Hey.
Oh, crap.
I missed it, didn't I? - Yeah.
- I came in to change my clothes - and I meant to just- - You didn't get very far, did you? Okay.
Tell me how I can make this up to you.
Please.
Whatever you want.
I am completely, totally, utterly yours, at your service.
I know it's kind of late and everything but do you think you could just drive me home? - Yeah, sure.
Of course.
- I just kind of want to sleep - in my own bed tonight.
- Absolutely.
Not a problem.
Okay.
I'm gonna go get my stuff.
Okay.
I'll be- I'll just wait here.
What are you doing here? I knew you were closing, could use help.
In what way could you possibly help? All right.
That was fair.
Not to mention how condescending.
The assumption I actually need help.
Okay, I get it.
Are you done yet? Only for the time being.
It was an accident, okay? The first time I did it.
How do you accidentally sit in on a class and pretend to be a student? Well, I'm on my lunch hour, I'm sitting under some tree and this grad student comes over with his whole section of Great Books 1-0- Whatever.
And they start talking about Shakespeare.
And you just happened to be reading it? No, I was reading Moby Dick.
Later, I read Shakespeare.
- All of it? - No sense in doing things halfway.
I see.
And since it was so easy, you just kept doing it.
It prevents me from deliberately stepping into the street and methodically knocking people's hats off.
Moby Dick, right? Hey, maybe you're not as dumb as Hetson thinks you are.
We'll see.
Look.
Contrary to what you might believe I only came by your place tonight to apologize.
I felt like it was kind of my fault that you got caught today.
- How's that? - Hetson wouldn't have singled you out - if you weren't being so nice to me.
- Nice? I was trying to be nice to you? Yeah.
It seemed kind of obvious.
Wrong.
- Wrong? - Yes.
That wasn't me being nice.
That was me showing off.
You know, you disappoint me, Potter.
- I do? - Yes.
How are we supposed to learn anything today, people? You didn't do your groundwork, did you? No, I didn't.
No, you didn't.
What's this? You left your paper in my office yesterday.
Is this supposed to make everything okay? Maybe I did let my emotions affect the way that I graded your paper.
- If I did, that's inexcusable.
- I sense an excuse coming on here.
You have no idea, do you, of how much the world has changed? The world's changed because people are willing to stand up and be honest, not hide behind things that are easier.
When I was growing up, when I was- How did you put it? - "a scared teenager," you didn't have gay kids coming out on MTV.
And Jack Tripper was the only gay man in America.
You think that's such a small thing, such a minute cultural difference? Maybe you really haven't been paying attention in my class, Jack.
Just do me a favour, have one of the TAs grade my papers from now on, please.
No problem.
Oh, nice.
Little private teacher conference.
What was that all about? Just getting that thing with my paper straightened out.
- Oh, yeah.
Is it? - Straight? Yeah.
Perfectly.
Come on.
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