Grown-ish (2018) s06e05 Episode Script

1
In the year that I've
been with the Gammas,
this brotherhood has given me so much.
But you earned your five stars.
So your Gamma name is The General.
- ALL: Ooh.
- Confidence
Thinking about giving up?
Pride,
camaraderie,
responsibility,
and pink eye.
[LAUGHTER]
Nonetheless,
these guys have become
like a family to me,
and everybody brings something
different to the table.
All right, the new dryers
should be here Tuesday,
since the previous
dryers, as we all know
were pooped in.
[ALL GROANING]
May the still-unknown perpetrator
find his brand-new
off-white Jordans scuffed.
ALL: Amen.
Amen, brother.
Amen.
That's Big Boy,
whose name is less
reflective of his size
and more his state of mind.
That right there is his fifth
soul food parfait of the day.
And then there's No Shirt Nick,
who brings a positive attitude
and radical body positivity.
And that boy there is Too Tall Tyree.
He helps us keep our intramural
basketball title on lock.
And then there's this clown.
You know how there's that one cousin
who pees in the shower
and always takes a plate
before everyone else?
That's Cole.
Everybody calls him Sketch,
because he likes to draw,
and because he is.
Now for our next order of business:
nominating a new Gamma president.
- That's right, Big Boy.
- Right? Right?
Who want it? Hmm?
- Who want it?
- Yes, sir.
[CLEARS THROAT] [CLAPS] Look.
I would be honored to serve my brethren.
- The Gammas! Yes, sir.
- You already know.
I'ma bring hope and change
to this bitch like it's 2008.
- Like it's '08!
- [ALL EXCLAIMING]
Like it's '08!
I'm with it.
That right there is Mr. Popular,
for all the reasons you would think.
[LAUGHING] Okay!
Mr. Popular like it's '08.
[LAUGHTER]
So but wait, wait,
wait. Wait, hold on.
He runnin' unopposed?
Hold up. No one else is running?
What this frat needs is
someone with integrity,
a passion for giving back,
and strong leadership.
♪
I'm Andre Johnson,
and I'm running for Gamma president.
- ALL: Ooh!
- Ooh, Andre!
BOTH: Watch out, world ♪
I'm grown now ♪
I'm grown ♪
Learn something new every day ♪
I don't know so I'ma feel my way ♪
Got the weight of the world on me ♪
But no regrets ♪
This is what I say ♪
BOTH: Watch out, world ♪
I'm grown now ♪
I'm grown ♪
You can't tell me nothin' ♪
BOTH: My heartbeat is so loud ♪
♪
Mama, look, I'm grown now ♪
I'm grown ♪
♪
As I shared my four-point plan
covering both the macro and micro
of how I would elevate the Gammas,
I knew I had my brothers
in the palm of my hand.
So as your president,
I think that I can
serve this brotherhood
by leading us into the future
and preparing us for future success.
[SNAPPING, APPLAUSE] Thank you guys.
Thank you, thank you.
It's light work.
Nice.
See, I think what The General had to say
sounds pretty good.
But I'm not here to talk to
y'all today about pretty good.
I'm here to talk to y'all
today about being unlimited.
What the hell is he talking about?
Unlimited? What is
he, a cell phone plan?
[SCOFFS]
See, my opponent wants to talk about
unbalanced budgets.
I want unlimited budgets.
No.
That's just not how money works.
"And for what?" you ask.
Unlimited parties.
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
And now hold on.
And do you know who
will be at those parties?
ALL: Who?
Unlimited bitches.
- [ALL EXCLAIMING]
- It's just that easy.
There are, like, 10,000
bitches at this school, max.
That's a limited number of bitches.
We are the Gammas.
We are unlimited.
- Yes! Yes, we are!
- Yes!
Mr. Popular out.
[ALL CHEERING]
Unlimited!
ALL: Unlimited! Unlimited!
Unlimited!
Working on your new book?
"Cal You Too: How to
Stay on Campus Forever."
For your information, little Luka,
I have a full night planned.
I'm gonna be grading papers
and enjoying some of these
natural wine selections
Doug is offering.
And rating them from
funky to [BLEEP]-up.
Mm, I hope my O-Chem professor
grades our tests on a
similarly wobbly curve.
[GROANS] I wish I saw you guys
before I used Doug's free printer
to print 100 copies of these.
But what do you think? Huh?
Is this the face of someone
you'd vote to be president?
You look like you belong on
the front of an oatmeal box.
Ooh. Great breakfast.
And also good for you and good to you.
That's a fire slogan right there.
- Boom.
- You're gonna lose.
Rude, but that is not an option,
okay, and I cannot let someone win
who has based their entire platform
around the word "unlimited."
Listen, Andre.
If this means a lot to you,
you have to do whatever it takes to win.
- But, like, cleanly, right?
- Yes.
Uh, most of the campaigns I've seen,
the dirtiest were sadly
the most successful, so
- Hmm.
- And if you want to win,
you need to find a way
to take this guy down.
No one is squeaky clean, Andre,
and if they are, make sure they're not.
Catch my drift?
But if it's for the greater good,
it's not that bad, right?
Yes. It's worse, actually.
Look, I think these
flyers show who you are,
and in my experience,
that's who you should be.
Take it from someone who's
been in the trenches, man.
A good policy is a good policy.
Honesty is the best policy.
Exactly, so start getting honest
about your opponent's dirty laundry.
I don't know,
but I do think that
your strategy has merits.
I'm gonna go run me
some more flyers, though.
Yeah, but trust me.
Stop printing flyers and
start stealing emails.
That's horrible advice.
It's great advice.
- [SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
-
All this talk of running
has got me hungry.
Kiela, how do you feel about
hitting up Pop Dat Pupusa?
Are you trying to take me to
an El Salvadorian sex party?
Because I'm in.
No, it's a food truck at
this gallery opening downtown.
Oh, yeah, I'll go.
♪
Despite Kiela's advice to get dirty,
a Gamma man is a man of integrity,
and that's how I would debate.
Like Michelle Obama said,
"When they go low, we go high."
And that's why I'm
saying unlimited water.
[SCOFFS]
I hate to break this to you, bro,
but we're in a drought.
Which is why
I'll bring the Gammas
unlimited drought relief.
That's not
that's not even a thing, Darius.
Okay. All right.
Now let's move on to the next topic:
The Chapter Pledge Initiative.
As president, how do each of you plan
to spike new recruit interest
and get our pledge numbers up?
That's an excellent question, Big Boy,
and a topic I hold near and dear.
I plan to start the
recruitment process early and
Man, quit playin'.
Ain't nobody tryin' to hear all that.
Look, the only recruitment
strategy we need is word of mouth.
Now holla if you hear me!
Unlimited everything!
ALL: Unlimited everything!
Unlimited everything!
Unlimited everything!
Unlimited everything!
You want to win?
You need to find a way
to take this guy down.
ALL: Unlimited everything!
Unlimited everything!
Okay, okay, okay!
What about unlimited truths?
Huh? Who's ready to hear that?
[ALL MURMURING] Yeah.
I know who dropped the
booty bomb in the dryer.
- Oh, shit, that nasty shit?
- What?
- Oh, hell no.
- That's right.
- Mm-hmm.
- Who did it then?
And I hate to do this.
I really hate to do this,
because this is someone
I have a lot you know what?
Actually, matter of fact,
I got unlimited love for this man.
But it was none other than
my opponent, Mr. Popular.
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
Cap. I did not have stool
relations with that dryer.
Does bottomless Michelada Monday night
a month ago ring a bell to you?
[ALL GASPING, MURMURING]
You were what a white woman
would describe as shwasted.
Did you or did you not wake
up on the laundry room floor?
Yeah, but see but that's the thing.
- That but but
- [ALL EXCLAIMING]
"But but but but but "
Yeah.
Your butt was the problem.
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
ALL: General! General! General!
General! General!
General!
Sorry, Mrs. Obama,
but when they go low, I go lower.
[DAZ RINKO'S "CANDY MANE"]
Thinking of a master plan ♪
Thinking of a master jam ♪
The G way, I had to hit the sensei ♪
'Cause when I need love I hit you up ♪
Had me blocked dikemba ♪
I spend my nights
alone 'cause most days ♪
The only girl I want don't want me ♪
Friends come through
with cups of Bombay ♪
I can't believe we aren't
popping our pupusas right now.
Yeah, darn.
It's just what a same if we
came all this way for nothing.
I'm sure they have food here somewhere.
Running since 15 ♪
I only wanna vibe with you ♪
I only wanna ride with you ♪
You thirsty bitch.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Oh.
Fine.
I'll admit I am beyond thirsty.
I am parched.
When I'm around her, I feel something
I feel something I've never felt before.
I feel uncool.
♪
Can't contain ♪
♪
Even her wave is hot.
Okay, if you're an ally, be an ally.
- Help me cover.
- [LAUGHS]
Okay. I got you.
I am a great liar.
Hey, stalker.
Stalker's friend?
Ooh, no.
Nobody has a stalker here, okay?
I I dragged Zaara here tonight
because I just I love
the art of fashion.
♪
[GASPS] Fashion!
Wow.
♪
So
♪
It's crazy running into you here.
You know, they always
say the world is so small.
Oh, my God, you're so weird.
Come on. Work the room with me.
Go.
♪
Girl, you know you're driving me ♪
Special delivery.
Hey, Sloane, my favorite wine rep.
I was about to get rid of all my wine
so I could see you again.
Mm, sounds like I win either way.
[CHUCKLES]
- All right, now don't judge
- Okay.
But I got some jalapeño poppers.
I heard they go good
with the sauv blanc.
Ooh, I don't know if I believe
that will pair well together,
but I'm down to try anything once.
So the lady likes adventure?
- She does.
- Uh-huh.
Speaking of likes, I have
a Shiraz I want you to try.
- Ooh, let's open it.
- Let's see.
Ooh, hold on, now.
You can't rush fine wine.
Or fine women.
- Oh, so you think you're fine?
- [LAUGHS]
It's been said on
more than one occasion.
♪
- Man
- Yes, sir.
Good looking out, man.
I will never be able to look
at Michelada Monday the same.
Mr. Popular!
- Ooh
- Damn!
Hey, and I was with you
on the drought thing.
I am not about to vote
for a climate denier.
Well, here's a convenient
truth: I'm your guy, all right?
Put it there, Too Tall.
God! Cole.
Damn, bro, I didn't see you there.
I gotta get you a little bell
to wear when I'm president.
Yeah, well, got something for you.
Just so you can remember it all.
I I don't really
think I I need this.
I was I was just there, but
Think it'd help a way to remember
when you still had a soul.
What are you talking about?
What am I talking about?
Did Mr. Popular take
a dook in the dryer?
Did I take a dook in the dryer?
- You did it?
- Ah, see?
That right there shows that
you don't even know if Mr. Popular did.
What is your game here, all right?
You can't prove anything.
All right. All right.
I guess we just both
have to live with it, huh?
But there are three sides
to every story, all right?
Only you, me, and the
dryer know the truth.
[BIIG PIIG'S "DON'T TURN AROUND"]
♪
Don't you turn around ♪
And say you need me by your side ♪
If it's that easy ♪
Why'd you leave me ♪
You know I've no one
to rely on, to rely ♪
♪
Are you mad at me for stalking you?
I'm annoyed that you
didn't follow me back on IG
and just ask to meet up at this exhibit.
This stalk and chill could've
been a model and chill.
I think I prefer the stalk and chill.
Hey, I don't mean to interrupt,
but I had one of my photographers
take some candids earlier.
I think you two might
like to have these.
I'm Aleali, the curator of this exhibit.
I think you both are naturals.
Street wear is all in the attitude,
and I think you can pull off
a lot of these different
styles being showcased.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
♪
These are actually really good.
I like these.
I never thought I would
like an event like this.
I thought it was dumb at first,
but then the money
came in, and I realized
that I like money.
And sometimes, as a bonus,
I meet cool people.
♪
- Salud.
- Salud.
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING]
You know, I can't I can't remember
the last time I did something like this.
What? Drank wine?
No, had company that
wasn't a crazy student
or a man-child that needed
hot sauce to eat his food.
- [LAUGHS]
- I'm serious.
So you're saying I'm good company?
No. I'm saying
you're great company.
Mm.
♪
You know, this is good,
but I think I know something
that'll taste better.
I think I could suggest
something that's off the menu.
[PHONE CHIMING]
[SIGHING]
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. Something came up.
This was great.
It's it's not you.
Heard that before.
Keep up, little bro. I
just murked another one.
You call that a snipe, doo-doo?
Hey, a hit is a hit, and I'm on a roll.
A roll of toilet paper, General Streak.
I'm sorry, I think my game's glitching.
What are you talking about?
You know exactly what I'm talking about.
You know what you did last dryer cycle.
Fecal fibber.
[EERIE MUSIC]
[WHISPERING] Liar
♪
[CLANKING]
♪
Weird.
I could've sworn I heard something.
You did me dirty, bro.
- Ah!
- Pun intended.
♪
Unlimited feces
Only you, me, and that
dryer knows the truth.
- [WHISPERING] Liar
- [SCREAMING]
- [GASPING]
- Look, dude.
I hard you screaming "unlimited
feces" from the parking lot.
I I'm good. No, I'm good.
I told you to lay off
the gummy melatonin.
Didn't I?
Get your shoes off my couch.
I'm good.
[QUIRKY MUSIC]
Shit.
[HIP-HOP MUSIC]
Yeah.
♪
Brothers, the votes are in.
General
or should I say President?
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Come claim your throne.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
Make me proud, brother.
I will, I will.
That's our president!
Uh
I've wanted this more than anything.
Why, now that it's mine and I've won,
do I feel like I've lost?
ALL: Speech! Speech! Speech!
Speech! Speech! Speech! Speech!
All right, all right.
Thank you for putting your trust in me.
You guy shave become
like a family to me,
and I can't tell you how honored I am
to be named your leader.
- [ALL EXCLAIMING]
- Yes, sir. Yes, sir!
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
But the truth is
I don't deserve this.
If I accepted this,
I would be betraying the Gamma man
that you all taught me to be.
Therefore, I must
concede this presidency.
[ALL MURMURING]
Look, look.
I owe you all an apology.
Especially you, Mr. Popular.
'Cause I lied that you did
number two in the dryer.
[GASPS] Deception!
Would you shut your
shirtless ass up, man?
Let the guy speak.
I guess I just wanted it so badly
that I lost sight of who I was,
why I started doing
this in the first place.
So my point is,
Mr. Popular should
be our next president.
I'm sorry.
♪
Thanks, Doug.
Yeah, no problem. Thank you.
Hey.
[SYCCO'S "RIPPLE"]
Can I get a second chance on the rocks?
♪
Look, I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly,
but if you have time later,
we could finalize that wine list
and some other things.
♪
I mean, I'm not gonna lie.
At first, I I thought you left me
to see another man or something.
Well
not another man, per se.
Just let it ripple, stay home ♪
Sometimes you get so
fixated on a certain outcome
that you don't allow yourself
the possibility for change.
Stay close ♪
- But the second you escape
-
from the box you put yourself in
-
- Stay close, stay home ♪
-
- Just let it ripple ♪
All kinds of new
possibilities open up for you.
Just let it ripple ♪
I thought the best
way for me to give back
to the Gammas was to be the leader.
Quit while I'm crying ♪
But it was never really about me.
Leadership is about doing
what's best for the team,
even when it's not in
your own best interest.
[EXCLAIMING]
You missed one, brother.
Damn!
I don't care if I'm not president.
I am still gonna get
you that bell to wear.
Don't worry about me.
I just came to check in on you.
That was quite the scene
you made earlier, dog.
Tell you, I did not see it coming.
But I I was I was impressed.
Yeah, I I don't
know what happened, man.
I feel like I just thought
that I needed to win
to show that I could lead.
I just wanted to be someone
that everyone could depend on,
you know?
I feel like I let you all down
by trying to be the best that
I could be for the Gammas.
Ah, man, it's a tale as old as time.
On the quest of trying
to be the best for us,
ends up bringing out
the worst in yourself.
I just hope that the next time
the guys give me pink
eye, it's on accident.
Look, bro, don't worry about them.
The boys will come around, all right?
Everyone here knows you got our back.
Look.
There are many ways to lead.
It doesn't always have to be
the way that's facing outward.
Yo, thanks for the help, bro.
I really appreciate your
honesty on Dryer-gate.
Ah, sh [SCOFFS]
About that, dog [SIGHS]
I didn't Scooby Doo in anyone's dryer.
♪
But you admitted it!
♪
Did I?
Yeah.
Here.
♪
Ahh!
When was he even drawing this?
♪
Damn.
Really did capture my kind eyes, though.
Okay, guys.
Unlimited honesty.
I did, in fact, dook in the dryer.
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
- I am seeking help.
- That's nasty, man!
And I'm not deserving of the presidency.
♪
I was right?
Wow.
That was a total shot in the dark.
Unless my bros are about
unlimited forgiveness
in which case, I accept
and ask The General to be my vice.
I'm with you, Mr. Popular,
or shall I say Mr. President?
- All right.
- All right.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
That's what I'm talking about.
- My man.
- Whoo-whee!
ALL: Gammas! Gammas! Gammas!
Gammas! Gammas!