Rescue Me s06e05 Episode Script

What's this? That, my dear nephew, is a rare bottle of Irish whiskey.
Little something to wish you well on your first day back.
What gives? We've come to the conclusion That you're a lost cause, and now we gotta cut you loose.
You got a great family, Tom.
Look, I gotta tell you, bro, these kids, they need a dad.
Ah, yeah.
Yeah.
Come on, asshole.
Do something about it.
I think you're drinking too much.
I'm trying to explain something to you here.
Let's get a drink.
I get what you're trying to do.
The tough love.
It's old school.
It's admirable.
I eat when I'm up.
I eat when I'm down.
You're gonna eat yourself to death.
That's kind of the point.
Jesus Christ.
Janet, I am so sorry.
Seriously, stop beating yourself up.
Okay? Look, nothing happened.
Hey.
Hey.
What are you doing here? You two have got to be shitting me.
What? What's up? What's up? Well, well.
The prodigal bum returns.
Yep.
What's the matter? Where you going? Yeah, you're, uh, supposed to treat the customers with a little honor and, uh, you know Nice.
That's a tall order, the pricks I gotta deal with.
Present company most definitely included.
Mm-hm.
All right, strike one, dipshit: Don't bring your own bottle in.
Strike two: No smoking.
We're playing by the rules of the great city and the state of New York.
So if you wanna drink that, smoke that, take it outside.
Okay.
I'll take it outside.
Why don't you come outside with me, pussy? Faggot.
Douche bag.
Shit prick.
Dick weed.
Nut sac.
Numbnuts.
'Mo.
'Mo.
Heh-heh.
Unbelievable.
- Hey.
Hey! - What? Where you going? I'm going to the, uh, little girls' room, queer bait.
Ass face.
Mm.
Great state of New York, my balls.
Tell me This is your choice? Great.
Heh.
Oh, boy.
Just great.
You almost bite it, but no.
God decides you get another chance.
Yeah.
Wasn't your time.
And this Tommy, this is what you do with it? It's pathetic.
Broken record, pal.
If it had been me walking out of those towers alive, you can bet you wouldn't find my drunken, pathetic Irish ass in some backroom.
Great.
Huh? I'd be singing and dancing in the street.
But to you Life is piss to you.
Life is nothing but piss.
Hey, you're dead, okay? You know, you're You're not even here, all right? Tommy, that may be Bullshit.
But I'm a goddamn hero.
Okay, get up.
Get up! You're the hero? Huh? How about all the times I pulled your ass out of shit? Huh? Who was the hero then, asshole? Huh? Christ almighty, half the medals you had on your chest were because I didn't want Goddamn want 'em! You're the hero? The one time I take my goddamn eyes off you, you wander off, ends up being the biggest goddamn tragedy in the history of the fire service.
And you're the hero, and I'm the goddamn goat? I'm glad you're dead.
I'm glad you're dead.
I'm glad I'm alive.
Stop it.
What are you doing? Ah, Jesus Christ.
Oh, my God.
How many times did I tell you not to ride your goddamn bike in the street? You didn't tell me that day.
I said it about 50 goddamn times.
I wanted to show you my wheelie.
You couldn't do a goddamn wheelie.
Yes, I could.
Lifting your front tire of your bike a half an inch A wheelie.
Stop using that voice.
Mom said it was cool.
Mom? Mom this.
Mom that.
I'm sick of Mom.
I knew you were gonna be a pussy.
I knew it.
You ruined things between me and your mother.
You know that, right? Huh? You happy now? Hm? Happy? * On another day C'mon, c'mon * * With these ropes tied tight Can we do no wrong? * * Now we grieve 'Cause now it's gone * * Things were good When we were young * * When my teeth bite down I can see the blood * * Of a thousand men Who have come and gone * * Now we grieve 'Cause now it's gone * * Things were good When we were young * * Is it safe to stay? * * C'mon, c'mon * * Was it right to leave? * * C'mon, c'mon * * Will I ever learn? * * C'mon, c'mon * * C'mon, c'mon C'mon, c'mon * Hey.
He still in there? Yeah.
Going strong.
You said he came in with a bottle? Yeah.
Whiskey.
Good stuff.
How much of it was gone? I don't know.
Close to half? Phew.
He's still moving around? That's impressive.
God only knows what he's been up to.
One of his hands is all bloody.
Hey, listen, take this.
Buy him a couple more rounds.
What? You're kidding me, right? Nail in the coffin in case the bottle doesn't work.
And then just, you know, let him sleep it off.
All right.
All right? Mm.
Yeah.
Dad? Coll, what's up? Are you okay? You sound kinda sick.
I'm fine.
Fine.
Just sick of a lot of assholes.
That's what I'm sick of.
But I'm not sick of you.
You know what? Glad you called.
I wanted to tell you I love you, okay? And I know I don't say that often, but I'm saying it now.
And I'll tell you something else.
You know something else? You know, parents aren't supposed to say this, but I'm gonna say it.
You're my favorite.
You're not supposed to have a favorite kid.
But you were always my favorite.
I'll tell you why.
Because you don't take any You got balls.
And you don't take any shit off anybody, and you never took no shit off nobody, and I You know, that's why I love you.
What's going on? What are you doing? Uh, um Could you come pick me up? Yeah.
Let me tell you something.
Ahem.
You are smart, and gorgeous obviously, and funny.
I know.
You have a great attitude.
And don't change that.
That's gotta That's gotta stay.
That's a keeper.
Smile.
What are you doing? I'm putting this on YouTube.
"When Dads Drive Drunk.
" I'm not drunk.
Lookit If I was drunk, could I do this? Lookit.
Hands on the wheel! Don't do that.
I do this all the time.
Not when I'm in the car.
Don't do that.
I could make a sport out of it.
I could win a gold medal.
Here.
Let me tell you something else.
That's the thing with your mother, you know.
She was a blast.
And then, out of nowhere, she sucks.
Now she's just a big pain in my balls.
No shit! You know Right.
If I had a pair of balls, there would be a giant pain in them, and it would be her.
Did I say you were funny? Mmm You okay with this? Hell, yeah.
You heard what she said, we can drink for free! I know.
And you have to You have to learn how you can I know.
Adapt.
You know what I mean? Be flexible.
Yeah.
Flexible.
Hell, yeah.
Don't tell Shawn about this because he'd get I'm not gonna way freaked out.
Why would I tell I don't care about his disapproval.
You shouldn't care.
Hm.
Right? Totally.
You know what I mean? Don't tell your mother.
Okay.
Yeah.
This is just our Okay.
So - You guys ready to roll? - Yeah! To me.
Could you just pull over? I wanna get out.
I'm the responsible one.
I get to decide who does what, when, how.
My truck.
My rules.
My night.
Give me my phone back! No.
No.
The phone is mine.
Give me my phone back.
I'm not giving you the phone.
You want it, come and get it.
Get back here.
All right.
I'm gonna count to three.
One I hear you.
Oh.
Hey.
Oh! It's okay.
It's Tom.
What are you doing here? Hey.
Hello.
Oh! Oh, what stinks like mint? What? What stinks like mint? I'm I'm minty.
I am gonna just Oh, shit.
I'm gonna Oh, Mr.
Minty.
Tommy, come on.
You gotta go.
Yeah! What are you doing in here? Whatever you do, keep your pants on.
Don't lay down on the bed.
Okay, don't unzip your pants.
Hey.
I I don't have school tomorrow.
School.
Tommy, come on.
You gotta pick it up, get it together.
Jimmy.
Night! Is he out? Yes.
I think he's out.
What is that? NyQuil? Janet? Katy? My God.
Shit.
Oh, goddamn it.
Yeah? Where the hell are you? Franco.
I'm, uh Where are you? Uh, I'm I'm home.
We're not working today, right? Where's Colleen? How the hell should I know? Get your ass down here now.
Hey.
What's up? Hey, Tom.
Next time you put your hands on her, I swear to God I'm not joking.
What's going on? She's done being the punching bag, asshole! Next time you wanna fight, you come find me, a man! What are you talking about? What, man? You didn't go over there after I left and start tearing the place apart? Where? What are you talking about? Janet's house.
How much of a dick are you? Know how much you terrorized them? They spent the night at Janet's cousin's house in Jersey.
All right, break it up! Break it up! Go to your neutral corner.
We got bigger fish to fry.
Tommy, I've been calling you all morning.
Where is Colleen? I don't know.
You were with her last night? No.
Nobody's heard from Colleen since around 10.
Yeah? Okay? She went out with somebody around 8:30.
She didn't say who.
Then Janet called her around, what, 10.
Said you were coming to pick her up.
Now, where is she, Tommy? Where is she? I don't know.
Hey, hey.
Listen, I just I just got up, guys.
I haven't even had coffee yet.
Let me Let me take a piss and, uh, straighten myself out a little bit.
Yeah.
Go wake up, Tom.
Have a drink! You dick! Come on.
Grab a seat.
Thanks.
So you don't remember picking her up? Remember her calling you? Um Is there a message from her on your phone? Oh.
Earrings.
Lovely.
Are they Colleen's? Those are clip-ons.
She hates clip-ons.
I spent some time in my uncle's jewelry store when I was a kid.
These diamonds are real.
They could be his, you know? Maybe he got so drunk last night, he put 'em on and a nice dress.
Maybe, uh, a little wig, some ladies' underwear and went out on the town.
It happens.
No.
No messages from Colleen.
Well, what exactly do you remember about last night? Um, I remember plenty of stuff.
Let's just stay focused on Colleen, all right? I've called her a hundred times.
Her moms has been calling her, and nothing, nada.
She's off the grid, son.
Well, maybe she doesn't wanna talk to you.
Maybe she wants to talk to her old man.
That's That's Colleen's phone.
That's her ring for you.
Why? Why do I get a barking dog? Yeah.
Why not an Irish jig? Yeah.
Or a drunk puking his guts out? Colleen likes to take pictures.
Girl gets a few drinks in her, she thinks she's goddamn Annie Leibovitz.
Annie Leibovitz? Boo-yah.
Do I know my lady? Tons of new flicks from last night right here.
What do we got? All right.
Let me start from the beginning.
Whoa! What? That's my new Christmas card.
I don't wanna see that.
No, no.
It was not my idea.
She wanted to do a little boudoir photography.
It looks like a little booty photography.
Yeah, your ass looks kinda ashy.
Do some squats, tighten that shit up.
My ass is tight.
I wouldn't talk about ashy, peewee.
I moisturize twice a day.
All right, just turn it off.
This is charming.
You might wanna get this blown up for the next AA father-daughter night.
Uh-oh.
I hit something.
Wait a minute.
What? Tommy, who is this? Uh, uh I don't know.
Well, this may help.
Hair of the dog.
Maybe, uh, knock something loose up there, get the gears going again.
I don't know, Lou.
I mean, just the smell of that alone is I don't know if I can get it down.
Jesus, you're a prize.
The volume of booze you have tossed past your teeth for no good reason all these years, and now that it might do some good, now you loose your thirst? Seriously? All right.
Ah.
All right, good.
Empty your pockets.
Let's see what we got.
I mean, so far, we got the earrings.
We got the cell phone.
We got a napkin, a lighter.
What else? "Alice 501.
CPW.
" That's, uh, Central Park West.
Dash it, Holmes.
You've done it again.
Aw, thanks, homes.
Okay.
Who's Alice? I don't know.
Henderson's.
Alice Henderson.
I know an Alice Henderson.
No, that was a Henry Anderson.
No, it was, uh, Henry Aaron, actually.
Hank Aaron.
I don't really know him at all.
What the hell? Sorry.
It was the sign.
It was the name on a sign at a bar.
Okay, there's a bar.
There's a bar.
Okay.
Okay, thank you, hair of the dog.
Keep drinking.
Anybody got a phone with Internet on it? Yeah.
I'm already on it.
Bars named Henderson's in the greater New York City area: I got six.
Three in Manhattan, one in Queens, one in Staten Island, and one in Jersey City.
Any of those ring a bell, Tom? No.
You got a picture of Colleen? I got a picture in my wallet from I don't have my wallet.
Ah, Jesus.
Listen, I have pictures of her upstairs.
Bring one down to Mike and Sean.
Franco, write down the addresses of these places.
Give it to these guys.
You guys go to these places.
Check 'em out.
You see any sign of Colleen, you call us with the 411.
Black Shawn, you stay here just in case she shows up, all right? You moisturize your ass? Rest of you guys, let's go.
Well, it looks like you've been hanging out with a higher class of broad.
Too bad you can't remember.
Well, that doesn't look good.
Twenty-nine hundred bucks.
And that's just for the glass.
Yeah, well, we're looking for a woman named Alice, 13H.
You and everybody else.
Management's been trying to call her.
They want her to pay for this.
She broke the window? She gets some asshole up to her place last night, both drunk as skunks.
He's only up there maybe an hour, comes down, pukes his guts out in a planter in the lobby, and it's green.
The planter? The puke.
Green.
Doorman goes to grab this asshole.
They tussle a little bit.
Before you know it, poor Tony comes flying through the window, and Tony is not a young guy.
Uh, excuse me a second.
Any chance you're, uh, the asshole in that, uh, story? You! You! It's him! It's the green-puking asshole! It's him? Hey! Go get him! Police! Police! Police! No.
I was here all last night and never saw her.
And I've got a pornographic memory when it comes to chicks.
You mean photographic? Hey, you got your memory, I got mine.
What, are you guys cops? No.
Firefighters.
Jeez, why didn't you say so? Sit down, have a pop on the house.
Sweet.
Thank you.
Wait, guys.
We're kind of busy.
We have five more bars to get to.
Ahem.
It's on the house, dudes.
Good point.
We'll make it a short one.
Or a regular one and we drink it fast.
Another good point.
You're two for two, bro.
Here you go, Damian.
What? You hold these.
You will be the DD.
What's that? The designated? Hitter.
Hey.
Yeah, so is this the new chapter? What? Huh? The new Tommy that loves his family so much? Where is she? So help me God, if something happened to her! Janet, stop.
Hey! Hey! - Leave her alone.
- I'm trying to help you.
Had to be Franco, huh? Do you really hate me that much? I don't know what you're talking about.
You know what you said.
What? What did I say? Oh, goddamn you.
Let me tell you something.
If I find out that you slept with him, then you won't see those kids again.
You know what you goddamn said, Tommy! Janet, Janet.
Relax, relax.
Come on.
That's enough.
Let's go in the back and calm down.
How's it going, boss? Not too good.
No word yet, huh? Nope.
Is he out? You at Sheila's last night? Why would I be at Sheila's? I don't know.
Were you at Sheila's last night? I don't know.
But for some strange reason, I seem to remember you being at Sheila's last night.
Why don't we solve one mystery at a time, Scooby? Hey, kid, I just want you to know I would have never called her to meet had I known this was gonna happen.
What do you mean? We've been getting together.
I've been talking to her, trying to straighten her out on the drinking.
We're having a good time.
She says she's gotta use the can.
She splits on me.
So I call Jan, Jan calls Colleen, and Colleen said you were picking her up.
I was.
Tom.
Did Colleen get into that bottle we gave you? What bottle? The fancy bottle of whiskey we gave you as a farewell gift.
We know you got into it.
But we kind of need to know if Colleen got into it.
Why? What's the big deal? Listen, I know we were at the bar, Eddie said that you got into it and it was half full.
So what? What? It's Goddamn it.
We laced the bottle.
What? We laced the bottle.
Jesus Christ.
It was a last-ditch effort, honey, to get him to stop.
You really think we'd walk away without trying everything? You're our family, Tom.
Our own flesh and blood.
We love you.
Yeah, you love me.
Yeah.
You loved me enough to poison me.
Pretty much.
Enough! Both of you, stop it.
Stop it! It was gonna come to this sooner or later.
It didn't matter if you did it or somebody else gave you a push.
You were gonna end up dead.
Okay, this is it, Tommy.
You have finally hit rock bottom.
And maybe you can't see it, but they did a good thing.
We did.
Ow! You goddamn idiots! You did a good thing for him, but did you think about somebody else getting into that bottle? Your niece for example.
Never came into our heads.
You gotta believe me.
Look at him.
Tommy Gavin, you give him a bottle of top-shelfed whiskey, the last thing we thought he was gonna do was share with anybody.
The only dangerous thing we thought about was finding him trying to suck out the last drop.
So my little girl is out there sick somewhere.
We'll find her, honey.
Don't worry, Janet.
We got a meeting.
A missing persons thing.
Shouldn't that be happening already? Well, I mean, technically you gotta wait 24 hours.
But we'll get him to put a jump on it.
If you hear anything, call us.
This is all my fault.
Goddamn it.
Shit.
Just find our daughter, Tommy.
If it is the last thing that you ever do for me, you find her, and you bring her home.
Oh, God.
Are you wearing a thong? Yep.
Don't know why.
Take another one! Ha-ha-ha! Okay, enough, enough, enough.
How many you got in there? Jeez.
I feel like Brad and Angelina Jolie, except I don't have her tits or vagina.
You can have mine.
There's never any hot guys in this shit hole.
You know what? This is a shit hole.
I don't know why a good-looking broad like you is here.
Well, I told you.
My son, he's like the manager or I'm sure he's a Oh! There he is.
Hank! Come here a second.
Come to Mommy.
Look at what I found: a fireman.
- Hey.
What's up? - Hey.
And this is his darling daughter, Colleen.
It's Colleen.
Colleen.
It's nice to meet you.
It's nice to meet you.
Hey.
Any word on Colleen? No.
How's Janet holding up? Oh, great.
She went back to the apartment to see if, uh, Colleen shows up.
Hey, did I, uh Did I show up at your apartment last night? You don't remember? Uh, fuzzy.
Uh, yeah.
You showed up, and you were high as a balloon at the goddamn Macy's parade.
Was, uh Who was there? Was there somebody else? What do you mean? Was Mickey there? Mickey who? Mickey the Mouse.
Mickey.
Uh-huh.
Okay, what would Mickey be doing at my apartment in the middle of the night? Is he out? Right.
Ah.
Pretty girl.
But no, I've never seen her in here before.
This would've been last night.
Didn't see her last night.
But you were here? Last night? Yeah.
No.
This is last night you're asking about? Yes.
Yes.
Yes, what? I wasn't here.
Who was here? Lots of people, I imagine.
Folks drinking and what.
No, no, no.
We mean tending bar.
My brother Seamus.
He'll be here in about 20 minutes if you'd care to wait.
Maybe we should hang, dude.
This is the last Henderson's in the city.
It'll save us the drive, right? Good point, bro.
Again.
God, you're on fire.
I am on fire, dude.
We'll hang.
Guys.
Are you police officers? FDNY.
Well, sit yourselves down.
I'll pour you something free of charge.
Ah, hey.
Thanks, man.
Sweet, dude.
I feel shitty saying it, but I'm getting used to this whole missing persons thing.
What about a What about another drink, Tom? Maybe it'll help nudge some more information up to the surface.
Oh, God.
I don't What are you doing here, Tommy? Why are you still here? You know, if she was my child, my own flesh and blood, I wouldn't be sitting on my ass, waiting for her to sashay through the door.
I'd be out there right now looking under every goddamn rock in every city! Listen, I No, I don't give a shit! You lost her! You find her! Now, Tommy! You find her! We should get I think Goddamn it.
Come here.
Hello? No, I think you have the wrong number.
"My friend from last night"? Alice? Jean? Jean.
Where did we meet? Right.
Where you going? We're just gonna watch some TV up in Hank's room.
Oh, let them go and have some fun.
They're both good kids.
It's not like anything bad's gonna happen.
She's got condoms.
Okay.
Wait a minute.
What? Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Condoms? Sorry.
I mean Uh! Good.
Good.
Okay.
That's it.
Let's get your jacket.
No.
Forget your jacket.
No, Daddy! Stop it! You can make a new jacket out of your condoms.
You go ahead.
Hey.
Come on, honey.
Condoms.
I can't believe that you are wearing a thong.
Of all the reactions I've had, this is the first one that involves anger.
Did I not ask you twice, twice to wear a thong? Once, two Easters ago, um, with the tequila, and then on Fourth of July on the beach with the champagne.
It was three times, okay? You're forgetting the Rosh Hashanah bender.
I guess you just don't buy enough alcohol.
Or I don't buy cheap polyester, "look at me, I'm a whore," colored thong.
I'm not a whore, all right? Did you sleep with her, or just go through her panty drawer? I don't remember.
I do remember this.
Her name is Jean, and she had a great ass and great tits, and she had legs that went on for Tommy! You stud.
Ha-ha! I never thought I'd see you again, you know, after the way you stormed out last night.
Hey.
Hi.
Is Jean home? Oh, you silly! Come here.
Oh, go on.
She didn't come back here as far as I know.
Well, maybe she met up with your son.
Is he here? You could ask him, maybe.
No skin off my hump.
Hank! What? Can you come down for a sec? I'm busy! Probably masturbating.
He sees a therapist about it.
Come down! We have guests! Damn it! I think I might have a pair of your earrings.
It can't be mine.
No, see, my, my lobes, they They're prone to infection.
Oh, good.
So I'm not the only one.
Are you missing any underwear? I don't wear underwear.
Oh.
Hank! Be nice.
You remember Tommy from last night.
Oh, yeah.
I didn't recognize you without your tongue halfway down my mother's throat.
That's not pleasant.
Kiss my balls? Maybe if I did, you wouldn't jerk off so much! I don't jerk off! Sorry.
So, uh, Jean, this, uh This bar where you met Tommy and Colleen last night Henderson's.
Where exactly is that? We were thinking about stopping over and checking the place out.
It's close, but I don't know where Henderson's is.
See, we met at a place called the Rockaway Beach Inn.
I know every bar for miles around.
There's no Henderson's.
Well, it's not like we expected to find her waiting for us in there.
No, but we are gonna find her, Tommy.
I know, but she could be 50 feet away in some basement here.
She could be 50 miles away in, you know, some back alley.
How cold do you think it's gonna get tonight? Don't worry.
We'll find her.
We are.
We will.
We are gonna find her.
We grab some coffee, we assemble whatever troops we have, we head back to the Rockaways, do an organized search and we don't leave until we find her.
Maybe Mickey and Teddy already have some information about Hi.
Hi.
Remember me? Uh, yeah I'm sorry for showing up unannounced, but, um, I'd just like my earrings back.
Of course you can.
I have them right here.
There you go.
Thank you.
Maybe I shouldn't have, but I took a few pictures last night of us, but mostly of you.
Someone was too shitfaced to perform.
Oh! I'm sorry, but what was your name again? Before I forget, you owe me $14 for a new bottle of crème de menthe.
The only booze I had in the place.
And he drained it.
That would explain the green lips.
Okay.
You said something about some pictures? He was in my bed and nothing was happening.
I thought I'd have fun.
I got my earrings, and some hair extensions.
Go to the next one.
- That's my favorite.
- Let me see.
All right.
Let me see.
My heart.
It's really not funny.
You are my new best friend.
Okay, everybody's had their little fun.
You got your earrings.
I think we're done here.
You've made him mad.
You won't get your thong back.
You have no right to be angry.
I mean, I'm the one who ended up with an empty bottle of crème de menthe and a bedroom full of sand.
Goodbye, everybody.
Bye! Unh! Two! All right, the last time I'm gonna say it.
Goddamn it! Fine! Three! Three! God - Sheila, you come with me.
- Lou, grab the others.
Go to that side.
We'll cover this side, You cover this side.
Shawn! You guys head south.
Franco? - Yeah? - You follow me.
- Tommy? - Come with me.
- Colleen! - Colleen! You guys, go that way.
All right? Colleen! - Colleen! - Colleen! Colleen! Colleen! Colleen! The prodigal bum returns.
I hate you! Get out of here! - Go ahead! - Get in the truck, goddamn it! One last chance.
Colleen! Colleen! Hey! I got her! He got her! Hey! Guys, he found her! No! Colleen.
Oh, no.
Coll.
Coll? Colleen.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Is she alive? Yes.
I'm so cold.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
She's cold.
Let me give her my coat.
Here you go.
Coll.
Tommy, I'll call Janet.
- It's okay.
- We got you.
Okay.
Okay.
- Daddy? - Yes.
Got you, baby.
Okay.
All right.