Spin City s06e05 Episode Script
Yet Another Stakeout
I called your adoption agency because I realized that, while I'm professionally successful, personally, something's missing.
I have a lot of love to give, and I know that I would make a good and decent father.
That's beautiful.
But all I asked was your date of birth.
Sorry.
I'm A little nervous.
[LAUGHS.]
I don't think he's doing well.
We've gotta do something.
Next question is your oh, sorry to interrupt.
Carter, thanks for writing the speech.
You're a very thoughtful, intelligent, responsib person.
Thank you, Caitlin.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Sorry about that.
Uh, please continue.
Carter Great job on that budget report.
It was very Loving and fathering.
Uh, again, I'm sorry.
They're my friends.
They're just trying to help.
Oh, there you are, Carter.
I wanted to thank you for taking me to that baseball game, buying me a hot dog, and giving me that talk about the birds and the bees.
Carter, you're the greatest.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
That story was a bit much.
Actually, that one really happened.
Sir, the latest election polls are in.
Oh, excellent.
I'm beating Wheeler by 19% among young adults, heh heh.
I'm down 6% with seniors.
What do those geezers have against me? It's a mystery, sir.
Oh, guys, guys Wheeler's new campaign ad.
I'm Julian Wheeler, and I believe in protecting the environment.
What about Winston? I believe that technology is the future.
What about Winston? [BEEPING.]
And I believe in old-fashioned family values.
What about Winston? For a better New York, vote Wheeler.
Bravo, sir.
You looked great.
Sir My gut says we retaliate.
He attacks us, we attack him.
Let's hit him back with everything we got.
Thank you, Sonny corleone.
Sir, focus-group research indicates that voters prefer politicians who stay positive and stick to the issues.
Thank you, Brenda Miller.
Who's Brenda Miller? Some brainy girl I used to cheat off in high school.
You know, sir We could always hit them with some snaps.
Snaps? Witty remarks, like "Wheeler's mama is so fat When she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
" Well, I've heard some compelling arguments.
I prefer to run my campaign on issues, not on insults.
So I'm gonna go with Caitlin on this one.
Thank you, sir.
In fact, I've decided to choose one of you to be the point person for all campaign strategies.
Well, thank you, sir.
I'm honored.
Since Caitlin has the most campaign experience, I'm choosing her.
Good call, sir.
Well, the adoption agency says I'm still number 3,000 on the waiting list.
At this rate, I'll have a baby when I'm 87.
I'll be too old to teach him how to throw a baseball.
On the upside, you have Guess who.
Chanel no.
5 Lavender hand cream Brian? Carter! You know it's me.
I can't believe you're here! Michelle, what are you doing in town? Carter told me everything he was going through trying to adopt.
I knew he was upset, so here I am.
We've always been there for each other.
Even in high school, Carter was there to cheer me up when I got dumped by the captain of the football team.
And Michelle gave me a shoulder to cry on when he dumped me.
Hello, Michelle.
It's so very nice to see you again.
As always, you look lovely.
Thank you, Stuart.
You are so sweet.
What do you say we go get some lunch? Great idea.
See you guys later.
Goodbye, Michelle.
It was lovely seeing you.
Have a lovely afternoon.
So, how long have you had a crush on Michelle? What are you talking about? I just think it was lovely the way you said she was lovely.
Stop it.
Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Mr.
Jerry Flynn, the king of porn, is doing a video signing.
You really want to see the king of porn? What's happening to me? You like Michelle.
Why don't you tell her? I can't.
I get near her, I can barely talk.
Maybe Carter could talk to her for you.
Oh, Carter can't know.
He'll either disapprove, or worse get emotionally supportive.
Okay, I've just called Wheeler's headquarters, and I've set up a sit-down meeting with him.
We'll get him in a room, liquor him up, make him spill some secrets, and ruin his campaign.
No, we're gonna sit down, air out our differences, and establish ground rules.
Then we'll liquor him up and ruin his campaign.
No.
We should be beating this guy into the dirt.
You need to pull back on the testosterone.
You need to pull back on the what is that stuff chicks have? There's a reason the mayor made me the point person.
I've run successful campaigns, and this is how I do it.
Whatever.
Oh, I see what this is about.
You're upset that the mayor chose me over you.
He made the call.
I'm fine with it.
There's a lot more going on in your head than you let on.
Like right now, what are you thinking? Right now.
Those dancing hot dogs from the "let's all go to the lobby" end movie song.
Why do I bother? * let's all go to the lobby Hi, Stuart.
Oh, hey, Michelle.
Where's Carter? He went out for a while.
I'm having a beer.
I'll get you one.
That would be Glorious.
"Glorious"? All right, calm down.
You can do this.
Don't freak out.
You're the man.
You're freaking out.
You're not the man.
Here you go.
Stuart? Are you trying to say something? I've really liked you for a long time, and I would love to go out with you.
I don't know what to say.
I always imagined you saying, "are you kidding? I want nothing to do with you.
" Oh, and then you laugh.
I would love to go out with you.
Why? I mean, cool.
No, "why" was right.
Remember two christmases ago when Carter dragged us to rockefeller center to watch that figure-skating show? Yeah, it was freezing.
And you gave me your mittens.
That's when I knew I liked you.
Why didn't you tell me? You're always so proper around me.
"You look so lovely.
" "It's lovely to see you.
" I mean, when I a guy likes a girl, you're supposed to say, "baby, I wanna get with you.
" That was what was in my heart.
Wheeler's 20 minutes late.
He'll be here, sir.
Then we'll work out a solution to these personal attacks.
If this doesn't work, we could always bake him some cookies.
I need a drink.
Excuse me.
You know, you could try to be a little more supportive.
I'm here, aren't I? If you expect me to be your cheerleader who's that guy sitting with the mayor? I don't know.
Wait.
That's Jerry Flynn.
He's, like, the city's king of porn.
We're being set up.
Thanks, Mr.
mayor.
Oh, by the way Mr.
Wheeler will not be able to make it.
He's gone way too far this time.
I'll say Wheeler should've called if he knew he was gonna cancel.
This is exactly what I've been waiting for.
Why didn't you tell me you liked me? We could've been doing this a long time ago.
We have been In my mind.
You want to see what we've been doing in my mind? Oh! Michelle Good.
You're here.
There's something I want to talk to you about.
Actually, there's something I want to talk to you about.
Me first.
You know how much I want to have a child.
And adoption will take forever.
So I decided that the best thing to do be would be get a surrogate.
Carter, that's a great idea.
I'm glad you think so, because I was hoping maybe you'd consider doing it.
Wow! I'm touched that you would ask.
But, well, I-it's complicated.
I understand you live in a different city, it's a huge commitment, it could affect our friendship, Stuart's arm is around your waist.
Why is Stuart's arm around your waist? Michelle and I are what are we? Well, I-I guess we're dating.
You're dating Stuart? Why? I asked her the same question.
Carter, I'm gonna seriously consider what you've asked me, but, um I feel like Stuart and I have started something that could really be special, so I want to make sure that he's comfortable with it.
Well? Am I comfortable with Carter impregnating my new girlfriend? No.
Have you seen the headlines "mayor dines with smut king"? "Winston's breast buddy"? "Winston a porn leader.
" What paper was that in? None.
I just thought it was kind of funny.
Well, it's not.
We have tried to take the high road, but Wheeler has gone too far.
If you think it's time to go after this guy, we're ready.
I have never lost an election, and I'm sure as hell not gonna lose one now.
I'll admit, I was wrong about Wheeler.
He's a lowlife.
So what do we do now? Stuart's checking his tax history with the I.
R.
S.
, and Carter's looking for any criminal record.
Maybe one night, he got into a drunken bar fight, stole a car, and drove into the Hudson river.
That's my story.
It sounded familiar as I was saying it.
Hey, guys, a buddy of mine says Wheeler's been showing up at his apartment building with some little chippy.
I can't believe he has a woman on the side.
That's what a chippy is? Wow! That's even better! This is huge.
He's got a wife and four kids.
I'm not sure this sex scandal is the way to go.
This guy's whole platform is about family values.
I know, but we don't have any proof.
Then we'll get some.
We'll stake out his building and take some pictures.
Maybe we'll catch him drunk in a rooftop pool, playing naked Marco polo with a lonely divorcée from 3-g.
I gotta stop telling you my stories.
Real nice, Carter.
You show no class.
You know, I can't believe Michelle is listening to the opinion of man whose Internet name is "boob monger.
" Well, she is, and for the last time, it's "boob meister.
" When are you gonna grow up? When are you gonna stop being a pompous jerk? Guys, come on, you've been at it all day.
Now, the three of us, we're gonna sit down, and nobody's leaving until we fix this.
Okay.
What's going on? I just started to date Carter's best friend, and now he wants her to carry his gay baby.
You guys will work it out.
You know what? I hope you're happy.
You know how much I want to have a child, and Michelle is the only person I'd want to be my surrogate.
You can still adopt.
The waiting list for a new baby is two years! By that time, Rosie O'Donnell will have taken the good ones! Have you thought about what Michelle might mean to me? She could be the greatest thing that's happened in my life.
But instead of being happy for me, all you think about is how it affects you.
Yeah? Well at least I don't eat food out of the garbage.
It was one unpeeled tangerine! Would you let it go?! So I guess you're not on board for Carter's baby plan, huh? For once, he's being petty and selfish.
I thought about this, and I know I'm right.
Well, I'm sure you are.
Although you may want to ask yourself what if you and Michelle don't work out? Is that worth risking your friendship with Carter? On the other hand, it may work out.
What if you and Michelle are together forever? Isn't nine months a small sacrifice if you can give your best friend immeasurable happiness? Well, I'm sure you've thought of all the angles.
All these years, and you choose this moment to start making sense.
I pick my spots, boob meister.
You ever been on a stakeout before? Not on this end.
This is a waste of time.
If we get out of here now, I could still make my date.
You have a date tonight? We got the van.
Wait.
Chippy 3:00.
He's got his arm around her, and they're kissing.
Ah! You are so busted.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING.]
You know what? This is wrong.
If we go public with this, we'll be coming down to his level.
I say, "run a positive campaign," you're against it.
Now I'm ready to go negative, and you're against that? What's your problem? I'm a complicated dude.
You can't handle taking orders from me.
That's not true.
You're not in control, so you're undermining me.
Why else would you want to protect this jerk? Because he's got kids, okay? Look, when I was growing up, I idolized my father.
Once day, me and some friends, we skipped school, and we were hanging out in the city, and I saw him coming out of a hotel, kissing another woman.
I never told anyone about it, and I never looked at him the same way again.
I know Wheeler's a sleaze, but I don't want his kids to find out because of me.
You've held on to this pain for so long.
Go ahead.
Let it out.
It's out.
That explains so much.
I mean, do you think that's why you're with so many women? No, I just really like sex.
These pictures might be enough to give us the election.
I'll leave it up to you.
I want you to know that I was a psych minor in college, and if you ever want to sift through your repressed feelings about your father Charlie! Hey, Stuart.
I was, uh, thinking about what you said, and you're right.
So you're gonna stop wearing those red leather pants? I was so busy thinking about my own problems, I couldn't see how much this meant to you.
I'm really happy you found each other.
Really? Yeah.
She's an amazing woman.
She's way out of your league.
My mother said the same thing.
What are those? I've decided to search for a new surrogate.
I've divided them into three separate categories professionals, artists what are those? Bad fashion sense.
Hey, guys.
Hey, Michelle.
Carter, I want you to know I've been up all night thinking about your proposal.
It's a huge commitment, both physically and emotionally.
I'll probably be moody all the time.
I'll be sick every morning.
My breasts will get huge.
There are a million reasons why I shouldn't do this.
But I want to anyway.
Why? I can't think of anyone who deserves to be a father more than you do.
And helping you get there could be one of the most important things I ever do in my life.
You okay with that, Stuart? Well, I thought about it, and if anybody has to knock up my girlfriend, I want it to be my gay roommate.
You know In a strange way, that's beautiful.
Charlie You look terrible.
I was out late with Mandy.
I'm too old to be fooling around in vans.
I'm not 29 anymore.
Here are the pictures.
Have you decided what you want to do? No.
I keep going back and forth.
[DOOR OPENS.]
So, Crawford I understand you have some pictures.
What do you plan to do with them? I'll tell you what I plan to do with them.
I'm gonna send them to the papers and watch you go down in flames.
Then we've got nothing to talk about.
Wait.
Why should I stoop to your level? I'm not gonna use the pictures.
Okay.
On the other hand I'd do anything to get Winston re-elected.
Then again, this is not how I want to do it.
I'm lost.
Are we using the pictures or not? I don't know.
I think I worked myself into a corner.
How am I losing to you guys? You've got kids, and they don't need to know about this, so I'm not using the pictures.
But Oh, jeez! I'm not giving them to you either.
If you take any more shots at the mayor I will bury you.
Nice.
When I win, there may be a place for you in my administration.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
I'm sorry I made this so difficult.
I never should have let my Personal issues affect our work.
It's refreshing to see you like that.
On the outside, you have this macho shell, and on the inside, you have this Creamy fruit filling? Sensitive side.
You have so many deep, repressed issues.
Let it out.
It's out.
What do you think? It's a very important debate.
We need something sharper.
How about this "Wheeler's mama is so fat when she dances, the radio station skips"? Doesn't quite pop, does it? Here we go "Wheeler's mama's so fat, on Halloween, she says 'trick or meatloaf.
'" snap.
Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.
(BARKING) Moo.
I have a lot of love to give, and I know that I would make a good and decent father.
That's beautiful.
But all I asked was your date of birth.
Sorry.
I'm A little nervous.
[LAUGHS.]
I don't think he's doing well.
We've gotta do something.
Next question is your oh, sorry to interrupt.
Carter, thanks for writing the speech.
You're a very thoughtful, intelligent, responsib person.
Thank you, Caitlin.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Sorry about that.
Uh, please continue.
Carter Great job on that budget report.
It was very Loving and fathering.
Uh, again, I'm sorry.
They're my friends.
They're just trying to help.
Oh, there you are, Carter.
I wanted to thank you for taking me to that baseball game, buying me a hot dog, and giving me that talk about the birds and the bees.
Carter, you're the greatest.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
That story was a bit much.
Actually, that one really happened.
Sir, the latest election polls are in.
Oh, excellent.
I'm beating Wheeler by 19% among young adults, heh heh.
I'm down 6% with seniors.
What do those geezers have against me? It's a mystery, sir.
Oh, guys, guys Wheeler's new campaign ad.
I'm Julian Wheeler, and I believe in protecting the environment.
What about Winston? I believe that technology is the future.
What about Winston? [BEEPING.]
And I believe in old-fashioned family values.
What about Winston? For a better New York, vote Wheeler.
Bravo, sir.
You looked great.
Sir My gut says we retaliate.
He attacks us, we attack him.
Let's hit him back with everything we got.
Thank you, Sonny corleone.
Sir, focus-group research indicates that voters prefer politicians who stay positive and stick to the issues.
Thank you, Brenda Miller.
Who's Brenda Miller? Some brainy girl I used to cheat off in high school.
You know, sir We could always hit them with some snaps.
Snaps? Witty remarks, like "Wheeler's mama is so fat When she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.
" Well, I've heard some compelling arguments.
I prefer to run my campaign on issues, not on insults.
So I'm gonna go with Caitlin on this one.
Thank you, sir.
In fact, I've decided to choose one of you to be the point person for all campaign strategies.
Well, thank you, sir.
I'm honored.
Since Caitlin has the most campaign experience, I'm choosing her.
Good call, sir.
Well, the adoption agency says I'm still number 3,000 on the waiting list.
At this rate, I'll have a baby when I'm 87.
I'll be too old to teach him how to throw a baseball.
On the upside, you have Guess who.
Chanel no.
5 Lavender hand cream Brian? Carter! You know it's me.
I can't believe you're here! Michelle, what are you doing in town? Carter told me everything he was going through trying to adopt.
I knew he was upset, so here I am.
We've always been there for each other.
Even in high school, Carter was there to cheer me up when I got dumped by the captain of the football team.
And Michelle gave me a shoulder to cry on when he dumped me.
Hello, Michelle.
It's so very nice to see you again.
As always, you look lovely.
Thank you, Stuart.
You are so sweet.
What do you say we go get some lunch? Great idea.
See you guys later.
Goodbye, Michelle.
It was lovely seeing you.
Have a lovely afternoon.
So, how long have you had a crush on Michelle? What are you talking about? I just think it was lovely the way you said she was lovely.
Stop it.
Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely.
You don't know what you're talking about.
Now, if you'll excuse me, Mr.
Jerry Flynn, the king of porn, is doing a video signing.
You really want to see the king of porn? What's happening to me? You like Michelle.
Why don't you tell her? I can't.
I get near her, I can barely talk.
Maybe Carter could talk to her for you.
Oh, Carter can't know.
He'll either disapprove, or worse get emotionally supportive.
Okay, I've just called Wheeler's headquarters, and I've set up a sit-down meeting with him.
We'll get him in a room, liquor him up, make him spill some secrets, and ruin his campaign.
No, we're gonna sit down, air out our differences, and establish ground rules.
Then we'll liquor him up and ruin his campaign.
No.
We should be beating this guy into the dirt.
You need to pull back on the testosterone.
You need to pull back on the what is that stuff chicks have? There's a reason the mayor made me the point person.
I've run successful campaigns, and this is how I do it.
Whatever.
Oh, I see what this is about.
You're upset that the mayor chose me over you.
He made the call.
I'm fine with it.
There's a lot more going on in your head than you let on.
Like right now, what are you thinking? Right now.
Those dancing hot dogs from the "let's all go to the lobby" end movie song.
Why do I bother? * let's all go to the lobby Hi, Stuart.
Oh, hey, Michelle.
Where's Carter? He went out for a while.
I'm having a beer.
I'll get you one.
That would be Glorious.
"Glorious"? All right, calm down.
You can do this.
Don't freak out.
You're the man.
You're freaking out.
You're not the man.
Here you go.
Stuart? Are you trying to say something? I've really liked you for a long time, and I would love to go out with you.
I don't know what to say.
I always imagined you saying, "are you kidding? I want nothing to do with you.
" Oh, and then you laugh.
I would love to go out with you.
Why? I mean, cool.
No, "why" was right.
Remember two christmases ago when Carter dragged us to rockefeller center to watch that figure-skating show? Yeah, it was freezing.
And you gave me your mittens.
That's when I knew I liked you.
Why didn't you tell me? You're always so proper around me.
"You look so lovely.
" "It's lovely to see you.
" I mean, when I a guy likes a girl, you're supposed to say, "baby, I wanna get with you.
" That was what was in my heart.
Wheeler's 20 minutes late.
He'll be here, sir.
Then we'll work out a solution to these personal attacks.
If this doesn't work, we could always bake him some cookies.
I need a drink.
Excuse me.
You know, you could try to be a little more supportive.
I'm here, aren't I? If you expect me to be your cheerleader who's that guy sitting with the mayor? I don't know.
Wait.
That's Jerry Flynn.
He's, like, the city's king of porn.
We're being set up.
Thanks, Mr.
mayor.
Oh, by the way Mr.
Wheeler will not be able to make it.
He's gone way too far this time.
I'll say Wheeler should've called if he knew he was gonna cancel.
This is exactly what I've been waiting for.
Why didn't you tell me you liked me? We could've been doing this a long time ago.
We have been In my mind.
You want to see what we've been doing in my mind? Oh! Michelle Good.
You're here.
There's something I want to talk to you about.
Actually, there's something I want to talk to you about.
Me first.
You know how much I want to have a child.
And adoption will take forever.
So I decided that the best thing to do be would be get a surrogate.
Carter, that's a great idea.
I'm glad you think so, because I was hoping maybe you'd consider doing it.
Wow! I'm touched that you would ask.
But, well, I-it's complicated.
I understand you live in a different city, it's a huge commitment, it could affect our friendship, Stuart's arm is around your waist.
Why is Stuart's arm around your waist? Michelle and I are what are we? Well, I-I guess we're dating.
You're dating Stuart? Why? I asked her the same question.
Carter, I'm gonna seriously consider what you've asked me, but, um I feel like Stuart and I have started something that could really be special, so I want to make sure that he's comfortable with it.
Well? Am I comfortable with Carter impregnating my new girlfriend? No.
Have you seen the headlines "mayor dines with smut king"? "Winston's breast buddy"? "Winston a porn leader.
" What paper was that in? None.
I just thought it was kind of funny.
Well, it's not.
We have tried to take the high road, but Wheeler has gone too far.
If you think it's time to go after this guy, we're ready.
I have never lost an election, and I'm sure as hell not gonna lose one now.
I'll admit, I was wrong about Wheeler.
He's a lowlife.
So what do we do now? Stuart's checking his tax history with the I.
R.
S.
, and Carter's looking for any criminal record.
Maybe one night, he got into a drunken bar fight, stole a car, and drove into the Hudson river.
That's my story.
It sounded familiar as I was saying it.
Hey, guys, a buddy of mine says Wheeler's been showing up at his apartment building with some little chippy.
I can't believe he has a woman on the side.
That's what a chippy is? Wow! That's even better! This is huge.
He's got a wife and four kids.
I'm not sure this sex scandal is the way to go.
This guy's whole platform is about family values.
I know, but we don't have any proof.
Then we'll get some.
We'll stake out his building and take some pictures.
Maybe we'll catch him drunk in a rooftop pool, playing naked Marco polo with a lonely divorcée from 3-g.
I gotta stop telling you my stories.
Real nice, Carter.
You show no class.
You know, I can't believe Michelle is listening to the opinion of man whose Internet name is "boob monger.
" Well, she is, and for the last time, it's "boob meister.
" When are you gonna grow up? When are you gonna stop being a pompous jerk? Guys, come on, you've been at it all day.
Now, the three of us, we're gonna sit down, and nobody's leaving until we fix this.
Okay.
What's going on? I just started to date Carter's best friend, and now he wants her to carry his gay baby.
You guys will work it out.
You know what? I hope you're happy.
You know how much I want to have a child, and Michelle is the only person I'd want to be my surrogate.
You can still adopt.
The waiting list for a new baby is two years! By that time, Rosie O'Donnell will have taken the good ones! Have you thought about what Michelle might mean to me? She could be the greatest thing that's happened in my life.
But instead of being happy for me, all you think about is how it affects you.
Yeah? Well at least I don't eat food out of the garbage.
It was one unpeeled tangerine! Would you let it go?! So I guess you're not on board for Carter's baby plan, huh? For once, he's being petty and selfish.
I thought about this, and I know I'm right.
Well, I'm sure you are.
Although you may want to ask yourself what if you and Michelle don't work out? Is that worth risking your friendship with Carter? On the other hand, it may work out.
What if you and Michelle are together forever? Isn't nine months a small sacrifice if you can give your best friend immeasurable happiness? Well, I'm sure you've thought of all the angles.
All these years, and you choose this moment to start making sense.
I pick my spots, boob meister.
You ever been on a stakeout before? Not on this end.
This is a waste of time.
If we get out of here now, I could still make my date.
You have a date tonight? We got the van.
Wait.
Chippy 3:00.
He's got his arm around her, and they're kissing.
Ah! You are so busted.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING.]
You know what? This is wrong.
If we go public with this, we'll be coming down to his level.
I say, "run a positive campaign," you're against it.
Now I'm ready to go negative, and you're against that? What's your problem? I'm a complicated dude.
You can't handle taking orders from me.
That's not true.
You're not in control, so you're undermining me.
Why else would you want to protect this jerk? Because he's got kids, okay? Look, when I was growing up, I idolized my father.
Once day, me and some friends, we skipped school, and we were hanging out in the city, and I saw him coming out of a hotel, kissing another woman.
I never told anyone about it, and I never looked at him the same way again.
I know Wheeler's a sleaze, but I don't want his kids to find out because of me.
You've held on to this pain for so long.
Go ahead.
Let it out.
It's out.
That explains so much.
I mean, do you think that's why you're with so many women? No, I just really like sex.
These pictures might be enough to give us the election.
I'll leave it up to you.
I want you to know that I was a psych minor in college, and if you ever want to sift through your repressed feelings about your father Charlie! Hey, Stuart.
I was, uh, thinking about what you said, and you're right.
So you're gonna stop wearing those red leather pants? I was so busy thinking about my own problems, I couldn't see how much this meant to you.
I'm really happy you found each other.
Really? Yeah.
She's an amazing woman.
She's way out of your league.
My mother said the same thing.
What are those? I've decided to search for a new surrogate.
I've divided them into three separate categories professionals, artists what are those? Bad fashion sense.
Hey, guys.
Hey, Michelle.
Carter, I want you to know I've been up all night thinking about your proposal.
It's a huge commitment, both physically and emotionally.
I'll probably be moody all the time.
I'll be sick every morning.
My breasts will get huge.
There are a million reasons why I shouldn't do this.
But I want to anyway.
Why? I can't think of anyone who deserves to be a father more than you do.
And helping you get there could be one of the most important things I ever do in my life.
You okay with that, Stuart? Well, I thought about it, and if anybody has to knock up my girlfriend, I want it to be my gay roommate.
You know In a strange way, that's beautiful.
Charlie You look terrible.
I was out late with Mandy.
I'm too old to be fooling around in vans.
I'm not 29 anymore.
Here are the pictures.
Have you decided what you want to do? No.
I keep going back and forth.
[DOOR OPENS.]
So, Crawford I understand you have some pictures.
What do you plan to do with them? I'll tell you what I plan to do with them.
I'm gonna send them to the papers and watch you go down in flames.
Then we've got nothing to talk about.
Wait.
Why should I stoop to your level? I'm not gonna use the pictures.
Okay.
On the other hand I'd do anything to get Winston re-elected.
Then again, this is not how I want to do it.
I'm lost.
Are we using the pictures or not? I don't know.
I think I worked myself into a corner.
How am I losing to you guys? You've got kids, and they don't need to know about this, so I'm not using the pictures.
But Oh, jeez! I'm not giving them to you either.
If you take any more shots at the mayor I will bury you.
Nice.
When I win, there may be a place for you in my administration.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
I'm sorry I made this so difficult.
I never should have let my Personal issues affect our work.
It's refreshing to see you like that.
On the outside, you have this macho shell, and on the inside, you have this Creamy fruit filling? Sensitive side.
You have so many deep, repressed issues.
Let it out.
It's out.
What do you think? It's a very important debate.
We need something sharper.
How about this "Wheeler's mama is so fat when she dances, the radio station skips"? Doesn't quite pop, does it? Here we go "Wheeler's mama's so fat, on Halloween, she says 'trick or meatloaf.
'" snap.
Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.
(BARKING) Moo.