The Amazing World of Gumball (2011) s06e05 Episode Script
The One
There can only be one Oh, man, I'm so tubby, I don't have a muffin top.
I've got the whole bakery.
I'm so porky, I don't have a six-pack, I have a barrel.
Yeah, your midsection looks like someone tried to shove a grapefruit through a garden hose.
Yeah, man, your belly has more folds than an origami convention.
Dagnabit, I'm so week that if I was a superhero, I'd be Boy-Man -- The man with the strength of a 12-year-old boy.
What are you talking about? You're as strong as a bear naked old lady.
I got so little muscle definition, I need a muscle dictionary.
Yeah, dude, the only think you could lift with that body is my self-esteem.
Bottle trick! Ha! Aw.
Well, at least I stuck the landing.
Dagnabit, I'm such a loser.
The only thing you ever won was our mother's love, and you didn't even get first place.
You're such a loser, the only time people miss you is when they're throwing rotten tomatoes.
What's the matter, dude? Why do you always pull that face every time Rocky's around? Hmm? It's not that.
It's Tobias.
I don't understand why, but every time he ribs me, I feel like he's actually broken one of my ribs.
Maybe it's because deep down, you really respect Tobias' opinion.
- Oh, man.
- Whew.
Hoo.
But you're right, it is weird.
You don't mind when I insult you.
- You even do it to yourself.
- I know, right? Well, then, maybe the problem isn't Tobias.
Maybe the problem is your fragile ego.
Let's start by stripping back the layers of your personality.
So, who do we have here? I'm Humor! You want to hear a joke? Me! And who's hiding behind that nose? Anxiety.
That's what I thought.
Carry on.
I'm Fear.
And I'm Optimism! And tell me, Fear, why the aggression? Because I'm afraid -- afraid of who's behind all of us.
The Ego.
Well, maybe we should meet him.
Oh, no, that's not a good idea.
I am awesome! Guess I was wrong.
Looks like your ego's doing just great.
Well, on the plus side, we now know I truly love myself.
Yeah, but I really didn't need to see your ego smooching itself.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you jealous? You want a kiss, too, Marwin Wawerson? Get off of me, or I'll kiss you back.
I won.
Dude, I think I'm having an epic pony.
- What? - No, an EpiPen.
- For an allergy? - A happy faffily.
Do you mean an epiphany? Yes! A peepee-phony! I'm having one of those.
Tobias isn't good enough friends with me.
- That's the problem.
- What do you mean? Well, you know how we're not just brothers - but best friends, too? - I know.
I must have really low standards.
Exactly.
It's okay for you to say that because you're my number one, but not Tobias, because he's a lesser friend.
I mean, look at the difference between the way we treat our friends and the way we treat each other.
"Get well soon.
Love, Leslie.
" "Miss you.
Love, Bobert.
" "That bus should've ended you.
Love, Darwin.
" Yeah, I think you pull it off.
Think you should pull it off.
Our big sale will end in Hadouken! I see what you mean.
We should talk to Tobias about it.
Yeah, but it can wait till school on Monday.
I don't want to hurt his feelings, but he needs to understand that there are boundaries, and he can't just -- Yeah, so I was thinking, this weekend, maybe we should just stay in.
I mean, if we did go out, the only people we'd talk to are each other.
Am I right? Dude, who invited you in?! What am I, a vampire? It's what friends do.
By the way, can you tell your mom to buy more ice cream? We're out.
That gentle enough for ya? You know what's cool about being best friends? You never need to ask before borrowing money.
And that's the other thing -- The comfortable silences.
Nobody feels like they have to say anything or make small talk.
It's just comfortable, you know? Just totally quiet.
Nobody saying anything.
Total silence -- There.
Oh, hey.
You fixed the door.
That reminds me of that time we fixed the roof after Ocho blew it up.
You know, I'm glad I had the strength of character to give up that cellphone.
Okay, first of all, why would you alter this memory just to give me massive teeth? And secondly, you weren't even there.
Yes, I was! Classic us.
'Kay, enough.
You weren't there when we fixed the roof, and you won't be here when we fix the door.
But you've already fixed the -- Dagnabit, fixed it too well.
That's okay.
That's what best friends do, am I right? Okay, Tobias.
I didn't want to have to say this, so Gumball will.
Isn't it obvious? I mean, read between the lines.
What do you mean there are unspoken differences between types of friends, and that we're kind of okay friends - but not best friends? - Well, I, uh What do you mean this all stems from a narcissistic delusion brought on by my inner fear about facing - my true place in the universe? - Uh What do you mean You don't wanna be Mo-o-o-o-ore Than just regular Frie-e-e-e-ends - Really? - Sorry, I was thinking that.
Look, you're -- you're just not the kind of friend that we'd call for really important stuff, like moving a couch.
Nah, I get it.
I can't be your best friend, Gumball, because there can be only one.
Yeah, but you're definitely fifth -- - Sixth.
- Sixth in line.
So, if all of those other friends were gone, we'd be best friends.
Technically, yeah, I guess I just have to make do with you.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
There.
All's well that ends well.
Do you ever get that tingly feeling in your stomach when someone tragically misinterprets something you said in a dangerously fundamental way? Hmm.
Nope.
So Let's get started.
Yeah, I'm not really in the market for a sword.
I thought you were selling knock-off handbags.
No.
There can be only one.
- One handbag? - No, one friend! Aah! Aah! No! Bad idea.
Yes! Give me the power of your friendship.
The friendening empowers me! There can only be one There can only be one Aah! I think it's on cold.
Oh, thanks.
Aah! I'm a ghost, you joke of a jock.
All you've done there is turn a stick into two sticks.
Wrong.
I turned it into the ghost of a stick.
There can only be one Gumball, I have defeated all of your friends but one.
Yeah! Ye-- Seems he got the wrong end of the stick.
- Hmm? - Hmm? Sorry, Darwin, but there can be only one.
I've absorbed the powers of Gumball's friends.
Surrender to your doom, Darwin! Darwin! Dagnabit, he must've got to Leslie.
No one can touch him on the dance floor.
- What are you doing? - I'm using Banana Joe's powers to irradiate him.
It's gonna take a while.
There's only 360 milligrams of potassium in a banana.
Okay, can we move on to the next one? I've got a life to live.
Well, I was gonna use Sarah's powers, but turns out that drawing your opponents falling in love with you isn't that useful a fight.
But Carrie, on the other hand - Darwin! - I am number one! No, you're not! That's not how friendship works.
You do not get friend points by beating up everybody I know.
And you didn't get their magic powers, by the way.
Can you keep it down, please? There can be only one.
Look, it doesn't really matter if we're best friends, because you're a good friend, Tobias.
And good is good, right? I know.
I'm sorry.
I just wanted more, and I did get a bit Yeah.
It was pretty Come on, then, friend.
Give me a hand with this couch.
Yeah, I'm a good friend, but not the kind of friend you'd call to move a couch.
Hmm, fair enough.
It's fair enough.
I've got the whole bakery.
I'm so porky, I don't have a six-pack, I have a barrel.
Yeah, your midsection looks like someone tried to shove a grapefruit through a garden hose.
Yeah, man, your belly has more folds than an origami convention.
Dagnabit, I'm so week that if I was a superhero, I'd be Boy-Man -- The man with the strength of a 12-year-old boy.
What are you talking about? You're as strong as a bear naked old lady.
I got so little muscle definition, I need a muscle dictionary.
Yeah, dude, the only think you could lift with that body is my self-esteem.
Bottle trick! Ha! Aw.
Well, at least I stuck the landing.
Dagnabit, I'm such a loser.
The only thing you ever won was our mother's love, and you didn't even get first place.
You're such a loser, the only time people miss you is when they're throwing rotten tomatoes.
What's the matter, dude? Why do you always pull that face every time Rocky's around? Hmm? It's not that.
It's Tobias.
I don't understand why, but every time he ribs me, I feel like he's actually broken one of my ribs.
Maybe it's because deep down, you really respect Tobias' opinion.
- Oh, man.
- Whew.
Hoo.
But you're right, it is weird.
You don't mind when I insult you.
- You even do it to yourself.
- I know, right? Well, then, maybe the problem isn't Tobias.
Maybe the problem is your fragile ego.
Let's start by stripping back the layers of your personality.
So, who do we have here? I'm Humor! You want to hear a joke? Me! And who's hiding behind that nose? Anxiety.
That's what I thought.
Carry on.
I'm Fear.
And I'm Optimism! And tell me, Fear, why the aggression? Because I'm afraid -- afraid of who's behind all of us.
The Ego.
Well, maybe we should meet him.
Oh, no, that's not a good idea.
I am awesome! Guess I was wrong.
Looks like your ego's doing just great.
Well, on the plus side, we now know I truly love myself.
Yeah, but I really didn't need to see your ego smooching itself.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Are you jealous? You want a kiss, too, Marwin Wawerson? Get off of me, or I'll kiss you back.
I won.
Dude, I think I'm having an epic pony.
- What? - No, an EpiPen.
- For an allergy? - A happy faffily.
Do you mean an epiphany? Yes! A peepee-phony! I'm having one of those.
Tobias isn't good enough friends with me.
- That's the problem.
- What do you mean? Well, you know how we're not just brothers - but best friends, too? - I know.
I must have really low standards.
Exactly.
It's okay for you to say that because you're my number one, but not Tobias, because he's a lesser friend.
I mean, look at the difference between the way we treat our friends and the way we treat each other.
"Get well soon.
Love, Leslie.
" "Miss you.
Love, Bobert.
" "That bus should've ended you.
Love, Darwin.
" Yeah, I think you pull it off.
Think you should pull it off.
Our big sale will end in Hadouken! I see what you mean.
We should talk to Tobias about it.
Yeah, but it can wait till school on Monday.
I don't want to hurt his feelings, but he needs to understand that there are boundaries, and he can't just -- Yeah, so I was thinking, this weekend, maybe we should just stay in.
I mean, if we did go out, the only people we'd talk to are each other.
Am I right? Dude, who invited you in?! What am I, a vampire? It's what friends do.
By the way, can you tell your mom to buy more ice cream? We're out.
That gentle enough for ya? You know what's cool about being best friends? You never need to ask before borrowing money.
And that's the other thing -- The comfortable silences.
Nobody feels like they have to say anything or make small talk.
It's just comfortable, you know? Just totally quiet.
Nobody saying anything.
Total silence -- There.
Oh, hey.
You fixed the door.
That reminds me of that time we fixed the roof after Ocho blew it up.
You know, I'm glad I had the strength of character to give up that cellphone.
Okay, first of all, why would you alter this memory just to give me massive teeth? And secondly, you weren't even there.
Yes, I was! Classic us.
'Kay, enough.
You weren't there when we fixed the roof, and you won't be here when we fix the door.
But you've already fixed the -- Dagnabit, fixed it too well.
That's okay.
That's what best friends do, am I right? Okay, Tobias.
I didn't want to have to say this, so Gumball will.
Isn't it obvious? I mean, read between the lines.
What do you mean there are unspoken differences between types of friends, and that we're kind of okay friends - but not best friends? - Well, I, uh What do you mean this all stems from a narcissistic delusion brought on by my inner fear about facing - my true place in the universe? - Uh What do you mean You don't wanna be Mo-o-o-o-ore Than just regular Frie-e-e-e-ends - Really? - Sorry, I was thinking that.
Look, you're -- you're just not the kind of friend that we'd call for really important stuff, like moving a couch.
Nah, I get it.
I can't be your best friend, Gumball, because there can be only one.
Yeah, but you're definitely fifth -- - Sixth.
- Sixth in line.
So, if all of those other friends were gone, we'd be best friends.
Technically, yeah, I guess I just have to make do with you.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
There.
All's well that ends well.
Do you ever get that tingly feeling in your stomach when someone tragically misinterprets something you said in a dangerously fundamental way? Hmm.
Nope.
So Let's get started.
Yeah, I'm not really in the market for a sword.
I thought you were selling knock-off handbags.
No.
There can be only one.
- One handbag? - No, one friend! Aah! Aah! No! Bad idea.
Yes! Give me the power of your friendship.
The friendening empowers me! There can only be one There can only be one Aah! I think it's on cold.
Oh, thanks.
Aah! I'm a ghost, you joke of a jock.
All you've done there is turn a stick into two sticks.
Wrong.
I turned it into the ghost of a stick.
There can only be one Gumball, I have defeated all of your friends but one.
Yeah! Ye-- Seems he got the wrong end of the stick.
- Hmm? - Hmm? Sorry, Darwin, but there can be only one.
I've absorbed the powers of Gumball's friends.
Surrender to your doom, Darwin! Darwin! Dagnabit, he must've got to Leslie.
No one can touch him on the dance floor.
- What are you doing? - I'm using Banana Joe's powers to irradiate him.
It's gonna take a while.
There's only 360 milligrams of potassium in a banana.
Okay, can we move on to the next one? I've got a life to live.
Well, I was gonna use Sarah's powers, but turns out that drawing your opponents falling in love with you isn't that useful a fight.
But Carrie, on the other hand - Darwin! - I am number one! No, you're not! That's not how friendship works.
You do not get friend points by beating up everybody I know.
And you didn't get their magic powers, by the way.
Can you keep it down, please? There can be only one.
Look, it doesn't really matter if we're best friends, because you're a good friend, Tobias.
And good is good, right? I know.
I'm sorry.
I just wanted more, and I did get a bit Yeah.
It was pretty Come on, then, friend.
Give me a hand with this couch.
Yeah, I'm a good friend, but not the kind of friend you'd call to move a couch.
Hmm, fair enough.
It's fair enough.