Garfield and Friends (1988) s06e06 Episode Script

(Narrator) Ladies and gentlemen: Garfield and Friends. (drumroll)
We're! We're!
Ready! Ready!
To! To!
Party!
We're ready to party, we're ready ♪
I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪
I'm scared
Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪
Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Dancing, fiesta
romancing, siesta ♪
Samba, la bamba
ay caramba
Disguises! Disguises!
Surprises! Surprises!
And pies of-- and pies of all sizes ♪
Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪
Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Garfield and Friends
(Garfield) If a tree falls while our sound effects
man is at lunch does it make a sound?
(upbeat music)
Look at the map book Garfield
and see if you can figure out
how to get us to Atlantic Boulevard.
(Garfield) Hang a left then a right then another right
then a left.
Left then right then right then left.
Eh he, oh.
(horn honks)
Yeah pal.
What can I do for you?
I had a little accident.
I'd like to get my car here fixed.
You, heh, you want to pay me to fix this?
That's right.
Do you think it'll be very expensive?
Very expensive?
Nah. But could you excuse me a second?
I have to make a phone call.
That's right Blanche.
We can afford to buy that new house now.
Right, and send the kids to college and and your parents
can have that trip to Europe
and buy yourself that gold watch you always wanted.
Listen buy five.
We're rich.
Rich. I'll talk to you later.
Now where were we?
Oh, right.
No, I don't think it'll cost a lot.
(fast paced music)
Uh would you like a blindfold?
A last meal?
Any last words?
Let's just get it over with.
You're a brave man Jon Arbuckle.
Thank you Father.
(Garfield) I don't want to see this Odie.
Here's the estimate on your repairs sir.
(gasping)
Give him air.
Give the man some air.
Ah sorry.
We don't have full service.
He'll have to get his own air.
(Garfield) Let's see how much this estimate is for.
That's enough money to keep me a food for I don't know,
nine days.
Oh I've decided what I'm going to do.
(Garfield) Walk a lot of places.
Go ahead and fix my car.
I'm going to have my insurance pay for this.
They they do that?
Yes, my insurance man is right across the street
and I'm gonna go see him.
(Garfield) You know what insurance is Odie?
Mm-hmm.
Uh uh.
(Garfield) Well, insurance is a service that pays
for fixing your car.
I paid $10,000 for the car this morning.
$10,000 huh?
Uh huh. Yeah let's see.
It's now worth um seven hundred and ten dollars.
(gasp)
But I bought it this morning.
It's a new car.
How many miles do you have on it?
Two. Two.
Two.
Oh then it's a used car.
And you know what used cars go for these days.
But (stammering).
Step to one side sir and let me help this gentleman.
Sir.
I'm Jon Arbuckle and I had a small accident this morning.
An accident?
(Jon) Uh huh.
Oh my. An accident.
Oh, how awful.
Oh, simply awful.
There, as usual, Schlocko insurance
is the fastest in town.
What did you do?
I raised your rates.
I'm gonna be rich.
I am going to be rich.
(happy music)
(Garfield) All right Odie.
What have you done with the car?
(Odie blabbering)
Up there?
Why did you put the car up there?
All right, let me see if I have this straight.
You had an accident but you expect us to pay for it?
That doesn't sound fair to me.
But but but you're my insurance company.
Yes and if you keep expecting us to pay for your mistakes
we'll have to ask you to take your business elsewhere.
But but but but but.
(Garfield) Alright. If you're not gonna bring the car down
with my lunch in it I'll have to go up and get it.
Going up.
I have a policy with you people that says you pay
for any damages to my car.
Uh-huh.
You haven't read subparagraph W99
of your policy Mr. Arbuckle.
I don't see any subparagraph W99.
All I see is a line of fly specks.
Oh. Company reserves the right to not pay claims
if it doesn't feel like it.
You put that in every policy?
Yes, you'd be amazed how much money it saves us.
He he he.
(Garfield) Hey Odie.
I ate all the Moo goo.
If you don't come up I'm gonna finish off your gai pan too.
(Odie blabbering)
All right,
if you want us to pay for your car fill out these forms.
Okay, now we're getting someplace.
And these forms and these and these in triplicate.
And these and oh yes these have to be notarized
by someone named Vivian.
And these and
(Garfield) Oh look.
Odie's cheeseburger.
Well since he isn't around to eat it.
(Odie vocalizing)
That pooch will never find his way up here.
(tires screeching)
Odie, anyone, help.
(tires screeching)
Ah now we need letters from all your relatives
and your fifth grade report card and a photo of you
in a raincoat holding up a spoon.
Just give me my check, please.
One more thing.
Where is the allegedly damaged car at this moment?
Oh boy.
I'm gonna be richer.
I'm gonna be even richer.
(happy music)
Oh here's the money to fix your car Mr. Arbuckle
and there's more where that came from.
(Garfield) Do you know what you did?
You almost made me drop my cheese.
Come on guys.
We're walking home and everywhere else
until they get my car fixed.
(Garfield) Good, it's safer.
No I'm not worried about the damage.
This is the man who ensures our building here.
His company will pay for everything.
Uh why should my company pay for anything?
Because we have a policy with you that's why.
Yes and if you keep trying to make us pay
for your accidents you won't have it long.
(slow music)
Are you boys quite done yet?
(Garfield) Let's try the hurricane setting.
(slow music)
(humming)
No no I will not guess Wade.
Like I was saying man.
(overlapping chatter)
(humming)
I am the fairest in all the land.
(evil laughter)
Like don't you just hate coming
in the middle of things dudes?
Okay everyone.
Que pasa?
Like with the explanation.
We're telling the story of Snow Wade in the 77 dwarfs.
Telling it or man like living it?
You see, a story is more fun if you live it out.
Here I'll make you a peasant.
Whoa, not bad man.
Your sister Lanolin is playing the Wicked Queen.
And I quite against my will is playing Snow Wade.
Who in our previous chapter ate a poison apple
and is now history.
Plus there are a lot of dwarfs around
all with adjectives for names.
(giggles) I'm Gleeful.
I'm Miserable.
I'm Ridiculous.
I'm Spooky.
I'm Allergic.
(sneezes)
Roy was playing the handsome prince
but he refused to kiss snow Wade and break the spell.
Bo, how would you like to be the handsome prince?
And kiss the duck-billed princess?
Ha, no way man.
I'm disgusted.
No, I'm Disgusted.
Anyway, I think you should be the handsome prince.
You should be the prince.
No you.
No you.
No you.
No you.
No you.
No you.
No you.
Looks like you're the handsome prince, Orson.
Me?
Yep. you have to kiss Snow Wade.
Go ahead handsome Prince.
Kiss Snow Wade and break the spell.
Oh, if I have to.
Muah.
You have to give her a real kiss.
Yeah, lay one on her.
Muah.
Yuck.
(Sheldon) It didn't work.
She's still asleep.
Try it again.
(big smooch)
(gasping)
Snow Wade is still sound asleep.
But the kiss from a handsome prince is supposed
to wake her up.
(panting)
I guess I'm just not a handsome enough prince.
Oh if only Roy hadn't run out on us.
I am really disappointed and dejected.
No he's Disappointed.
And he's Dejected.
Huh, kiss a duckie indeed.
I have my pride.
I have my reputation.
I have a chapped beak.
Oh there's Orson's copy of Snow White.
Let me see this thing.
The handsome prince kissed Snow White and she awoke.
Oh sure.
He got to kiss the beautiful Snow White.
They expected me to kiss a homely duck.
The prince not only won the hand of Snow White
but also half her Kingdom and 20 million gazortnicks.
(gasps)
20 million gazortnicks.
Why didn't anyone tell me?
I don't know what a gazortnicks is but 20 million
of anything makes you filthy rich.
(laughing)
(smooching)
It's no use.
I told you this was gonna be a girl story.
(Sheldon) Yeah, all this kissing.
Uncle Orson, why can't we just imagine a handsome prince?
I never thought of that.
Okay.
Suddenly, a handsome duck prince appeared on the scene.
I hear there is a duck maiden here in need of a kiss.
(Sheldon) Oh great more kissing.
The handsome prince is here
to kiss the duck-faced princess.
I shall kiss her.
No, I.
When did I lose control of this story?
Oh boy. They're gonna duel.
(suspenseful music)
En garde.
En garde yourself.
Ole.
Eiffel Tower.
Pardonez-moi.
Onion soup fondue.
Crepe-suzette, s'il vous plait.
You win.
Snow Wade is yours and I shall leave this story.
Oh joy.
20 million gazortnicks.
Boy, the things I'll do to be rich.
(smooching)
(thrilling music)
I am awake.
Handsome prince, you may have my hand.
I don't want that.
Where's the 20 million gazortnicks?
(thunder strikes)
I am not giving up my kingdom, my crown,
or even one measly gazortnick.
(Sheldon) It's Lanolin.
She's bewitched.
No, I'm Bewitched and these are my brothers.
Shh.
And Snow Wade, I shall never concede
that you're more beautiful than I am.
How's about if I just be first runner-up?
No.
Miss Congeniality?
No.
And now by my Wicked Queen powers.
I shall destroy you all.
(evil laughter)
Can we stop her?
Can we get out of here?
Can we make this a three-parter?
We don't need another chapter even though we're terrified.
And yes I know your name is Terrified.
We have a way out.
We can just say the magic words.
What magic words are those?
You know.
(All) And they lived happily ever after.
End of the line.
Everybody out.
(Sheldon) Boy what a neat story.
Yeah and I didn't even have any ninjas in it.
Great story Uncle Orson.
Thank you Chloe.
All except for the part about kissing Wade.
Which reminds me.
(spitting)
Well not the biggest role I ever had but I got a good nap.
I'm satisfied.
And I'm satisfied.
No, I'm Satisfied.
(upbeat music)
A sunny day, no smog, a beautiful ocean
and all the time in the world to fish.
(Garfield) Yeah, and Jon will fall off the pier
five times before we leave.
Watch.
Not bad Mr. Entwhistle.
71 pounds.
Might even win our cash prize
for the biggest catch of the day.
Not with angler Arbuckle around, ha ha.
Mr. Arbuckle.
I remember you from last year.
(Jon) Yeah.
You caught three tires, a hubcap,
and a pair of seat covers.
You here to try for the rest of the car?
Ah ha ha ha.
Very funny.
Just you watch.
I'm gonna catch a fish twice the size of this sardine
and win the contest.
Right Garfield?
(Garfield) You got it in the bag.
I don't care what any of you think.
When it comes to fishing I know my way around.
(Garfield) That's one.
All right Garfield.
I think we should split up so we cover different areas.
(Garfield) Good idea.
I'm gonna go down that way while you and Odie
go that way, okay?
Oh, don't like that idea huh?
Too bad.
You don't want me going this way
because you know this way is where the fish are.
(Garfield) We didn't want you going this way
because we knew this way is where the pier ends.
Two. Three more to go.
Alright. I'll show them.
I'll catch a fish the size of a horse.
To catch the bigger fish cast your line
as far out into the water as possible.
Got it.
Ring rod arm forward with sharp snap
throw fish hook far out into water.
Follow through.
I've got something.
Oh already I caught something.
It feels like a big one.
Maybe a shark or a whale.
Ooh, he's fighting me.
He's really putting up a fight.
I just got a biggie
Ooh here he comes.
Here he comes.
A ha haha.
Uh, yours?
(Garfield) Can you imagine.
We've been here less than half an hour and Jon's
already fallen off the pier two times?
(Jon) Yahoo.
(Garfield) Like I said, three times.
Odie, you know why we catch fish?
Because fish are dumb.
Fish are some of the dumbest things on this planet.
They're like puppies with fins.
Oh.
(Odie panting)
(Garfield) I'm sleepy enough to have a dream sequence.
I hope it's animated better than the last one I had.
(snoring)
Boy fish are dumb.
They're so dumb.
How dumb are they?
They're real dumb.
Hey, I'm underwater.
I can't be underwater.
I'm a cat.
I'm a fish.
I'm a catfish.
I don't want to be a fish.
Odie Odie it's me.
Odie wake me up.
Odie I'm having a dream sequence.
(both snoring)
Odie.
Oh it's no use.
Looks like I'm stuck as a fish
for the whole dream sequence.
Oh well.
I suppose there are worse things
in this world than being a fish.
Just 'cause I can't think of one
doesn't mean there aren't any.
Hi, who are you?
I'm a fish and so is he.
We're both fish.
(Garfield) Fish are such
scintillating conversationalists.
What do you guys like to do?
Swim. Swim.
(Garfield) What else?
(Both) What else is there?
(Garfield) Uh-huh.
Well what do you like to eat?
- Plankton. - Plankton.
(Garfield) Mm-hmm. Sounds tasty.
Well, do you, hey hey where you going?
Guys?
Boy, what a couple of cold fish.
I wonder where all a fish hang out.
Maybe they have seahorse races or something.
I'll ask one of these folks.
Excuse me.
Wonder where they were all going.
Help. Anybody.
Call the Navy.
Call the Coast Guard.
Call the Little Mermaid.
- Shark. - Big shark.
That fish is a goner.
Definitely.
Let's go find some plankton.
(Garfield) If I don't do something
I'm gonna be shark chow or something.
This looks like a good time to change oceans or something
before jaws here gets loose.
It's dangerous being a fish.
You have sharks and pollution and fish hooks.
Ah ha.
Someone thinks they're actually going to catch one of us.
Ha, I wonder if it's, yep.
I should have known.
Old captain Arbuckle is fast asleep.
Which gives this little old catfish a sneaky idea.
I'll pull this real slowly so Jon will realize
the line is being pulled out.
Now I just need some other fisherman's line like this one.
There. This oughta be interesting.
Hey. I've got a fish.
(Garfield) Odie, look.
We've got a fish.
(barking)
Come on.
I'm not letting you get away.
(Garfield) Pull Odie, pull.
It's too strong for us.
That way Odie.
Towards the pier bus.
I'm playing around.
She's losing energy.
(Garfield) This oughta land that fish.
(Jon) Yahoo.
Sounds like somebody's having some luck.
(Garfield) I don't know.
I guess some sort of flounder.
Maybe a lox of some kind.
Let me measure this catch.
Oh sorry.
Too puny.
You're gonna have to throw him back.
(Garfield) What I can't figure out is
if I was only having a dream sequence
how did those lines get connected?
I don't know.
We could stop at the market and buy some fish.
(Garfield) Let's just get pizza.
With nothing that swims on it.
I've developed a whole new respect for fish.
Actually my big disappointment is that I promised
Jon would fall off the pier five times
and he only did four.
Well guys, we shouldwhoa!
(Garfield) Five.
(Odie barks)
Yes.
(upbeat music)