Northern Exposure s06e06 Episode Script

Well, as a healer, I'm hoping to use this film in a medicinal way.
See, you think there's a connection between the pain you feel in your leg, and the story your grandfather used to tell you, right? Uh-huh.
The only trouble is, is you don't remember how the story ends.
I didn't always listen when Grandpa told me stories, but I've been dreaming about them since the pain started.
Okay.
Have you ever seen any of John Cassavetes' movies? Killing of a Chinese Bookie? Right.
Well, Marilyn, you and John have a lot in common.
See, he didn't know how his story was going to end either.
He just kind of found it as he made the movie.
So, that's movies.
My leg is killing me.
Oh, I know, but maybe it'll work the same.
We'll just start with your grandfather's story and we'll see if it'll create itself.
As a cure? Sounds fishy.
Okay, I mean, look, Marilyn, maybe Dr.
Fleischman's right and you should just quit your night job at the theater.
I mean, well, you are on your feet far too much, working the concession stand.
But I need the money.
I want to buy a laserdisc player.
Besides, I don't think the problem with my leg is physical.
Okay, then just work with me on this.
Film is probably the thing I know best in the whole world, Marilyn.
So maybe it'll speak to me.
Okay, you ready? All right.
Now I just want you to tell your grandfather's story.
Marilyn Whirlwind, interview, camera roll one.
This happened a long time ago, when my grandpa was a young man.
There was this Russian princess.
Her father, the Czar, and the rest of her family had been killed a few years before during the Revolution.
You're not talking about Anastasia? Anastasia Romanov.
How'd you know? A famous movie, Yul Brynner, Ingrid Bergman.
Anastasia was here, in Cicely? That's what Grandpa said.
It was a big secret.
Oh, wow! Sorry, go on.
Anastasia ran away across Siberia.
She crossed the Bering Strait, and was hiding in Alaska with a few loyal soldiers at the Russian colony of Golovin.
Most people thought she was dead.
The only people that knew Anastasia was here were the Inuits.
It's because of them, the whole story happened.
What's that line down the middle? Negative scratch.
It's on every reel, too.
I cleaned the gate and everything.
Oh, that's too bad.
What about On Deadly Ground? Oh, auteur section, "S" for Seagal.
Boy, film.
So much richer than tape.
So much more vulnerable.
Yeah, it speaks to the nature of the human condition, huh? Well, hey, thanks for this.
Sure, buddy.
See you later, Ed.
My grandfather's name was Emery Whirlwind.
Among his people, he was known as tuhnuk, which means "back.
" That's because he was reaI strong and could carry a lot on his shoulders.
My grandpa worked as a guide and a trapper.
People used to say that no one knew centraI Alaska like Emery Whirlwind.
That's why he was chosen to escort Anastasia Romanov to Cicely.
Oh, wow.
Grandpa said Anastasia came with a few soldiers, her priest, some servants, a pastry chef, a man who was called her privy councilor, and the last of her ladies-in-waiting, the Countess Marina something or other.
The year was 1921.
Warren G.
Harding was President.
And Prohibition was the law of the land.
Our town had been founded by Cicely and Roslyn.
Cicely died defending the town and that's why it was named after her.
Like today, the only eating establishment was The Brick.
Only then it was called The Bearded NaiI and was managed by Sally and Abe.
The richest man in town was Mace Mowbray.
He used to be an outlaw.
Now he was an influentiaI civic leader.
Mace was president of the chamber of commerce and Grand Exalted Moose of the locaI chapter of the Sons of the Tundra.
Kit was the town preacher.
He had ridden with Mace in his train-robbing days, but when Cicely died, he traded in his gun for a Bible.
Hello, Parson.
It's been three Sundays since we've had a sermon.
You know, you're handsomely paid to tend your flock.
Here I am, Mace, week after week, "Cast Satan out of here," "get the devil out of there.
" How can we? How can we, or even should we, rid ourselves of the demonic? What? Human consciousness couldn't exist without the demonic.
The destructive.
For every thought that's created, one's destroyed.
I can't think about X if I'm thinking about Y.
Uh-huh.
Well, you might want to think about that $2,000 I shelled out for your new parsonage.
I can't face that congregation every Sunday and preach against evil when it's an absolute necessity of our existence.
And even more than that, if we were created needing evil, what does that say about our Creator? Would you look at that! Emery has brought some pretty fancy people into town.
Emery, what the heck is going on? Well, I'm not supposed to say, but see that woman over there? That is Anastasia Romanov.
Better known as Empress of all Russia.
Princess of Livonia and Courland, sovereign of Novgorod and Duchess of Ditsmarsen and Ödenberg.
Golly.
But, of course, that was before the Revolution.
Now everything she owns could fit into Excuse me.
Your Highness, you must be thirsty after your long trip.
Maybe you'd like to have a root beer in there at The Bearded Nail.
I'd be honored if you'd be my guest.
You're probably wondering why Anastasia had come to Cicely.
Grandpa said it was to try to get back into Russia.
Secret talks were going to take place in town between Anastasia and the leader of the Russian Revolution, V.
I.
Lenin.
Grandpa didn't care about any of that.
All he knew, he had met a woman who was like the beautifuI, mysterious maidens in the stories passed down by his ancestors.
And like in those stories, the maiden had captured the young warrior's heart.
Two years before, Lenin would never have sat down with any member of the royaI family.
But socialism was a flop in Russia.
Since a lot of people there really liked the late Czar, Lenin thought if he could get Anastasia's support, it would be a big help.
Lenin came to Cicely with the head of his secret police.
And his doctor, who was treating him for depression and high blood pressure.
Comrade, please reconsider this.
Felix! Industrial output is down 80%.
You want to keep shooting factory managers, that doesn't increase productivity.
And what about Stalin? My head is throbbing.
The man's a paranoid.
He says, "What's this trip to Siberia? "If you're just going to review troops, then why can't I come along?" Three days.
If we haven't got what we want, we'll go back.
Comrade Doctor, give me something for this headache.
Comrade Chairman, you've had four powders today.
If you were to lie down, I could make you a compress.
No.
Let's get this over with.
Your Highness, allow me to present the Chairman of the Council of the People's Commissars of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics, Vladimir llyich Lenin.
I didn't come here to kiss your hand, miss.
Well, I guess we should not expect manners from a murderer.
Murder? I'll tell you about murder.
My grandfather died of cholera because a landowner like you wouldn't provide potable water on his estate.
I am no landowner.
You thieves stole everything my family had.
Those who work the land should at least Enough, enough! Let's get down to business.
Her Highness has certain demands regarding her official position.
But, first, she insists, and this is not negotiable, on the restoration of the provisional government.
That's absurd.
Secondly, she demands the return of private property.
They just want to provoke us.
All property will remain in the hands of the state.
As for this girl's official position, we're adopting the Swedish model.
She'll host charity teas, christen ships and entertain diplomats' wives.
And she should be grateful for that.
Meanwhile, life went on pretty much the same in town.
Excuse me, ladies.
Hey, Mace, you want a real kick in the head? Stella there was just telling me that Goethe said the demonic is the power of nature.
Huh? What do you think about that? What the hell is this? This is my fortune.
These are the plans for the first off-road horseless buggy.
Off-road? Yeah.
I'm going to make more money than that skinflint Henry Ford.
Do you know how? What's the one thing Alaska doesn't have? Snakes? Roads.
It doesn't have roads.
This baby will make all of the territory of Alaska one giant highway.
Not to mention, the western part of the United States and most of Canada.
I can envision the time, Kit, when every hunter, every prospector, every Yupik harpoon jockey, will be tearing up the tundra with one of these things.
The air between Anchorage and Prudhoe Bay will be filled with the sweet smell of the internal combustion engine.
This has form.
This has weight.
Cold, hard steel is something, something I can get my arms around.
Damn right.
Of course! Plato's Republic, the parable of the dark cave.
What's the sun? The truth of science.
Science, the light that blows away illusions and shadows.
Let me in on this, Mace.
Let me help you out.
You? I've traveled the spiritual route.
There's no answers there.
Only questions and paradox.
But this, technology.
It's something I can get behind.
Deus novus, you know what I mean? No! The new god.
What do you say? Well, I do need some help putting this prototype together.
But no philosophizing.
No talk about the imminence of God or the existence of a free will or the nature of the Trinity.
Deal? It's a promise, Mace.
You request the honor of my presence at tea? If we're going to co-exist, why shouldn't we start by breaking bread together? Yuri? I can take my own coat off, brother, thank you.
I'm sorry there's so little, but my present circumstances don't permit more.
Then again, I hear circumstances in Moscow are much worse.
Propaganda.
Actually, we've plenty to eat.
I'm not even hungry.
Perhaps Yuri would like to join us.
Comrade? Well, he's welcome, of course.
But I'm not sure he'd be comfortable.
You're not going to eat anything? Well, maybe just a piece of sturgeon.
Maybe I'll have a piece of black bread as well.
Maybe just a meat pie.
Maybe I'll just have a bit of red caviar.
The talks aren't going very well.
I don't know this for sure, but I think Anastasia would publicly endorse the Soviet government if she could consult on the appointment of cabinet ministers.
Perhaps you could suggest this to Lenin.
I see.
You think I'm some kind of lapdog? What, you just toss some scraps at me and I'll do tricks for you? The treaty is in both our interests.
I should have remembered Marx.
The ruling class will do anything to hold onto its privileges.
On Nevsky Prospekt, you can't buy a pair of socks to keep your feet warm.
You can't even buy a needle and thread to darn the ones you have.
Good afternoon, Countess.
Doctor, I miss my home.
I want to go back.
Good afternoon, Rhoda.
Hello.
I've got a little chest cold.
What have you got for it? Well, let's see.
Tincture of opium's good.
Codeine.
Oh, and heroin syrup.
Why don't you try them all and see what works best? Much obliged.
Put them on my tab.
Mmm-hmm.
I'll take these bunion shields.
All right.
Unfortunately, for all the triumphs of our Revolution, the quality of shoes has declined.
I've been reading about your Soviet Union.
And that's always going to be a problem, quality.
You take away the profit incentive and you get shoddy merchandise.
Under your system, profit doesn't accrue to the worker, whose labor produces the merchandise, but rather to the middle man who peddles it.
Brokers, like the owner of this shop, are economic parasites.
I happen to be the owner of this shop.
You mean your husband.
I mean me.
Why would you presume otherwise? Well, given the subservient position of women in capitalist society.
Subservient position, poppycock.
You're very self-possessed, aren't you? Confident, forthright, and your posture is excellent.
These are the very qualities I wish to instill in the new Soviet woman.
You utopian social engineers are all alike.
Being determines consciousness, that old saw.
You think you can create the person by creating the environment.
Environment is the determining factor in character.
Let me tell you what Marx said Let me tell you what Marx's mother said.
If Karl, instead of writing about capital, had made some capital, thing's would have been much better.
Your bunion shields.
Although, Lenin didn't admit it at the time, he told my grandfather later, that the shopkeeper made a big impression on him.
He never expected to meet such a well-adjusted person in bourgeois society.
So, if I understand, it will be able to traverse both rocky terrain and marshland? Don't get any ideas, Ivan.
I've got patents pending on this baby.
Tell me, do you think it would be possible to build a vehicle like this, the size of a trolley car? What I'm thinking is public transportation in the virgin territories of Central Asia.
If you Reds got the greenbacks, I can build it the size of the battleship Potemkin.
Just two cylinders? Not much horsepower to pull all this weight.
What's your point? Well, if you resurface the cylinder head, you'll get more compression, increasing your power.
Kit? Come here, I've got an idea.
That's quite impressive.
What? That there's more in this spoiled, empty head than the latest Paris fashions? My icon? The broken frame? Saint Georgi of Perm.
Right.
It soldered easy.
No charge.
Thank you.
Please, just I apologize, but where did you learn mechanics? Well, I've always been interested.
When I was a little girl, my friends would play dolls, but I always wanted to tear apart the threshing machine.
I don't understand.
How could someone like you, obviously you have such a feel for science.
Can't you see that socialism, Marxism, is as scientific as Mendeleev's periodic table? Even this off-road buggy these men are building.
Believe me, it is an inevitable as tomorrow's sunrise.
Well, that might be if we were cells or biochemical reactions.
But we're not.
Look, I admit that the old system wasn't always fair.
It was an obscenity.
But Marxism is not the answer.
No system that denies the soul can be.
Like Lenin, MikhaiI found himself beginning to question some of his politicaI beliefs.
Maybe it wasn't necessary to wipe out the ruling class in order to transform society.
Back in the church, the talks continued.
Even though Lenin was becoming more open-minded, he was still a stubborn negotiator.
If you want a bicameral legislature, possibly, but the Council of People's Commissars must have veto power over any assembly not elected by local soviets.
That's final.
Your Highness, I brought you something.
It's not much.
A comb for your hair.
I carved it out of whale bone.
Notice the engraving.
The forget-me-nots.
We call that scrimshaw.
Well, what about the shortness of breath? I'd like to listen to your lungs, it's just Oh.
Why don't you let your dress down in back? Okay.
I'll give you a hand.
You see, actually you must forgive me.
My stethoscope was broken on the trip here.
I'll just listen with my ear, if you'll excuse me.
Yes.
Breathe evenly.
Tell me, have you ever suffered from asthma, by any chance? Yes, a few times as a child.
I believe you're having a recurrence.
That's it? Yes.
I had a cousin of mine die of consumption a few months ago.
Well, as I said, the temperature's normal, there's no infectious process.
I can give you an adrenaline solution.
Don't use it more than four times during the day.
And you're sure it's only asthma? Yes.
You don't have consumption.
Thank you.
In keeping with Cicely and Roslyn's tradition, Abe liked to bring avant-garde music into The Bearded NaiI.
Those fellows are from the best bordello in New Orleans.
They just finished a three-month concert tour of the Yukon and the Northwest Territories.
Hit it, Sam.
What the hell is that? I think it's called jazz.
Zowie! Let's wag our tails.
Yes, ma'am.
Anastasia's downstairs, Comrade Chairman.
Thank you.
It's all right for the men to eat down there, but you and I can't be seen in the cabaret with her.
No.
Strange music.
When a culture declines, Comrade, it invariably produces decadent art.
I don't know, I rather like it.
Anastasia couldn't take her eyes off Abe and Sally.
They were so happy and so free.
Free to love, free to do what they wanted.
Free in a way she could never be.
Abe and Sally and their music affected everybody that night.
People relaxed.
They put aside their cares.
And they put aside their differences.
My grandfather wanted to ask Anastasia to dance.
But how could he? She was a princess, he was just a guide.
You were right about the asthma.
I feel much better.
Yes, good.
You never mentioned a fee.
I would like to pay you.
I have American dollars, English pounds.
Well, I'm paid by the People's polyclinic, number six.
I'm well provided for.
But thank you.
What is all this? This would be my lab.
I take it with me wherever I go.
You have experienced the tragedy of tuberculosis firsthand and I am trying to find a cure.
Not just me, obviously, but the Soviet state supports a massive research effort.
Really? Yes.
We know that the disease is caused by a bacillus, which if you'd like to look, you can.
You're welcome.
Just turn this until it becomes clear.
I don't think the slide is quite centered.
Just You see, the difficultly with tuberculosis is that Yes? Lenin was different now.
The town's friendly atmosphere had made him more open to compromise.
He wanted to put an end to the gridlock.
If you'll accede to our nationalization of banks and heavy industry, we'll allow the repatriation of certain émigrés and the release of political prisoners.
Release political prisoners? Comrade Minister, you must divorce your personal feelings from political reality.
But Miss Romanov gets only limited cabinet approval.
Minister of Health, Minister of Culture.
The Council of People's Commissars will dictate all foreign and domestic policies.
No.
This napoleon is delicious.
Her Highness must have approval of the Foreign Minister.
Oh, come now! You know we can't possibly allow that.
What do you really want? Minister of Mining and Forestry.
Agreed.
No, no, no Mining and Forestry? Well, then, I believe we've reached an agreement.
If you gentlemen will look over the terms, we'll draw up a document.
Tomorrow we can review the draft.
All right.
What shall we call it, then? The Alaskan Accord? No, no, no, no, no.
May I suggest The Treaty of Cicely? Good.
Excuse me, just one moment, please.
I have to go.
Her Highness likes to play whist in the afternoon.
Just about last night, I must apologize.
My behavior was inexcusable.
I was just as much to blame as you.
I wasn't myself.
Well, neither was I.
Myself.
It must have been the talks, the tension, yes.
Yes, of course.
So much at stake.
No way to know the future.
It won't happen again.
No, it won't.
Just leave the salmon heads on the porch.
Your Highness.
Good evening.
Emery? It is Emery? I wanted to thank you for the comb.
How does it look? Good, really good.
What are you reading? Das KapitaI.
Mr.
Lenin gave it to me.
It's rather hard to follow.
So I'm told.
Isinglass? Seal gut.
I just finished sewing it.
It's still a little damp.
You and I have a lot in common, Emery.
We do? You come from an old tribe.
I come from an old tribe.
You're of the earth, you love the land.
I'm the same.
I hate these corsets.
I hate these silly shoes.
I like to ride, I like to shoot.
Are you hungry, Your Highness? I have some squirrel stew on over here.
I'd better get back before I'm missed.
Would you meet me tomorrow? Meet you? In the morning.
I want to go kiting.
This is my last chance, Emery, to enjoy a bit of freedom.
Once this treaty is signed I shall have to go back to St.
Petersburg and sit in endless rooms listening to men talk.
Will you assist me? And that's it.
That's all I remember.
Maybe they went kite-flying.
Maybe they didn't.
I don't know.
Is the camera still on? Are you ready, Emery? They did go kite-flying.
Let it go.
Come on! Isn't this wonderful? My uncle brought this back from China.
It was a gift from the dowager.
Your Highness, maybe Oh, please call me Anastasia.
Anastasia.
Maybe we ought to be getting back.
I'm going to let all the string out.
You know you're supposed to approve the treaty, and the meeting is in half an hour.
Oh, just five more minutes.
Look.
Beautiful.
What? I said, "Beautiful!" Let's give her a go! We will have to hurry.
All right.
I'll race you back! I'm going to win! Stay away from the bog.
That carburetor's not water-tight.
And no side-hilling, I don't want you rolling over.
Got you, Mace.
Good luck! Come on, Emery! Whoa! Hey! Anastasia! Emery, I can't stop! No! I can't stop! Emery! Oh, help! Emery! Emery.
Are you all right? Oh, you're hurt.
Your leg.
Leave the bikes, we've got to get back.
Now you know who you're dealing with.
A privileged, spoiled girl who's so self-absorbed she can't keep an appointment.
Something must have happened to her.
I'm very worried.
It's going to be hard enough to sell the treaty to the Central Committee.
And what about Stalin? He's going to have a field day with this.
Vladimir llyich Lenin, waiting like a beggar for the Czar's little girl.
If the Party turns on us, Comrade, we're gonna have another civil war on our hands.
Once we perfect that braking system, we've got ourselves a gold mine.
I think the problem's more conceptual, Mace.
What do you mean? Didn't you notice the birds? They quit singing when we cranked her up.
Squirrels lit out.
It's like Nature herself cringes at this thing.
The noise, the smoke.
It's out of harmony with the universe, Mace.
Oh, come on, you told me you wouldn't talk like that anymore.
Okay, look at it in practical terms.
You get enough of these fossil fuel engines kicking up CO2, which when you think about it, could bond with water up in the atmosphere, trapping solar radiation Stay with me, here.
It's not inconceivable you could actually raise the temperature of the planet.
Are you saying you live in a greenhouse? You are out of your mind! Maybe so.
I'm heading back to the spiritual world where I ain't going to mess up the scrub pine.
Give me a birch beer.
Too late.
They're gone.
Revolutionaries, always in a hurry.
We'll go to Paris.
Cousin Cyril is there, other members of the family.
There's quite a sizeable Russian community, Orthodox Church.
Yes, I think that's the best place to reestablish the court.
The court? Well, it's just a matter of time before this Bolshevik government falls.
The Russian people will want me to return.
Excuse me, I don't think we should leave just yet.
What if Anastasia is there right now? What do you expect me to do? Crawl back to that brat? Forgive me, but is it not worse to go back empty-handed? The moment's passed, Mikhail.
llyich, we're ready.
You know, Tolstoy believed it's historical events that propel men to greatness.
It seems they also doom us to failure.
Come.
I'm not going back.
Mikhail Borisovich! Please understand it is not that I have lost faith in the Revolution, it is as a scientist, I'm not sure anymore that life can be reduced to class struggle, to dialectical materialism, or any set of formulas.
Let's go! Life is spontaneous and it is unpredictable.
It is magical.
I think that we have struggled so hard with the tangible, that we have forgotten the intangible.
Intangible? Have you suddenly become religious? I can only say, I have become more aware of my ignorance.
I'm afraid I can't afford to be aware of mine.
Don't forget your valerian drops.
Wait.
I just wanted to say goodbye, Your Highness.
Yes.
Your leg, I'm so sorry.
It's not bad.
You've been most kind to me, sir.
It's been a pleasure to have known you, tuhnuk.
Goodbye.
Go! And that's the last your grandfather ever saw of Anastasia.
Hit by a bicycle, huh? Yeah.
Do you think my leg will stop hurting now that I know the story? Well, I don't know.
Usually in cases like this there's a lesson to be learned.
In the story, social systems fail, machines fail.
There's something people keep forgetting.
Well, what will it be, Marilyn? Table or booth? Booth.
Boy, you know, it really hasn't changed all that much.
Hi, Ed.
Hi, Marilyn.
Hey, how's the leg? Better.
I quit my night job.
Oh? Spiritual needs.
I'm sorry, come again? I need time to think about the old stories.
And I don't really need a laserdisc player.
We've struggled so hard with the tangible, we've forgotten about the intangible, hey, Dr.
Fleischman? Okay, Ed, whatever you say, there.
See you, guys.
In the story, you never said what happened to the doctor.
Right, well, by the time he got back to town, Anastasia and her soldiers were all gone.
Mikhail was all alone.
He didn't know what he was going to do or where he was going to go.
The Countess and the doctor hadn't planned things to work out this way.
I guess we're all a little like John Cassavetes after all.
We just don't know the end untiI we get there.