Regular Show (2010) s06e06 Episode Script

1 And then I'll live in a mansion up on a Mountain with fast Internet.
How fast? Faster than you! Whoa! Watch it! Beep, beep! Yo, my horn is broken! Let's go! Beep! Oh, C.
J.
's here early.
Hey, can you cover for me so we can go hang out? Sure, man! Cool! Double fisted! Stab, stab, stab! Stab, stab, and stab! Stab, stab, stab, stab, stab! Oh, hey, man, sorry about this.
I'm taking C.
J.
to see that Swedish movie with the crying, sooo Oh, okay.
Well, have fun.
I probably won't.
It's pretty cerebral and really sa-a-a-d! Stab! Stab! Hey, uh, sorry, but Yeah, yeah, I got it.
Great! Wipe! Wipe! Wipe! So, if anyone has any leads on this issue, there is a $12 reward.
Oh, maybe Mordecai has some insight on who's been wrapping the public toilet seats with plastic wrap! Sorry I'm late.
I was moving C.
J.
's couch.
Oh, ho-ho! I guess C.
J.
's the remote in that relationship because she's the one with all the control! Does anyone want me to explain? Do we get it? We get it.
I'm afraid I don't quite We get it! It's a good thing you're here.
I'm gonna need you to help Rigby change the light bulbs.
Oh, I can do that myself.
Yeah, sure you can.
Yeah, I can! - I help all the time! - Why are you laughing?! Bro, without Mordecai, you'd be totally useless! Wha? Come on, Mordecai, tell 'em how useful I am.
Uh Yeah, I mean, you're fun.
What? No! Tell 'em I'm useful! Yeah.
You're my friend.
Why aren't you saying the word "useful"?! Well, I mean, there was the time with the chairs, the limousine, the pretzel.
You're basically the opposite of useful pretty much anytime we do anything.
But we did those things together! Yeah, I mean, you were there.
So the whole time I've been covering for you and C.
J.
? Well, I mean, it's the least you could do.
The least I could I quit.
What? I quit! I can get a paycheck anywhere! Dude, you can't get a job without me.
It's my references that got you this job in the first place.
Reference this! I'm gonna go out and get a job, and I'm gonna make money at that job, and that money's gonna come in the form of a check, and that check's gonna be in an envelope, and the envelope's gonna be sealed, and I'm gonna rub that sealed envelope all up in your face, Mordecai! Puh-eace! Do you have any openings for somebody who wants to rub something in his friend's face? Oh, sure.
We have a variety of positions for anyone with a college diploma.
I never went to college.
Well, there are still some for high-school graduates.
I never graduated high school.
Oh.
Well, as long as you have a driver's license Well, there is this one As long as I get a paycheck, I'm doing it! All right.
Hmm.
The name's Manny.
This here's my moving company.
I built it from the back up.
We got everything you need here cardboard boxes, packing peanuts, packing tape.
Hey, turn around.
What? Hmm.
Well, you only have one butt cheek, and you don't have much of a back on you, but we need as many backs as we can get for this next job.
O-kay.
So, what should I do? Just load up on the back of that truck with the other flunkies.
All right, you crumb bums, we got a seven-bedroom doghouse we got to move in an hour! Now, I don't want to hear anymore back talk out of you back blisters, or you're back on the street! Now, keep up the good work.
I respect the heck out of ya! Whoa, there new back! What do you think you're doing?! You got to lift with your back! What? Really? We're called "lift with your back" for a reason! What, are you trying to ruin my brand?! Let me show you how it's done, kid.
Ew! Uh You want that paycheck you lift with your back! Uh Come on, what are you doing, kid?! Don't use the front door! Use the back door! But that's twice as far! What, are you trying to ruin my brand?! Get back there! Hmm, the kid's got heart.
Oh, there you are.
I knew you were faking earlier.
Faking?! Ha! Does this look like the back of a faker? Look, I need you to cover for me again.
C.
J.
's half birthday is tomorrow, and it's pretty important.
What?! Are you serious?! Yeah, come on, man! You've slacked off your whole life.
Can't I just have this? No, you have things all the time player one, the bed, punchies, a diploma, a girlfriend! Oh, geez, is that what this is about you not liking C.
J.
? No, C.
J.
is cool, but I help you all the time with her, and I helped you get with and over, Margaret, and you never even thanked me! Of course I did! I think I did.
Four days, Mordecai.
Four days till I rub that paycheck all up in your sorry face! Oh, uh, Rigby, you're Still here.
As you know, room and board is for employees only, and we kind of need the space for this old dot matrix printer.
Fine! Maybe I'll stay at a four-star hotel with a pool! Oh, with the paycheck you earned in a sealed envelope? Yes, in a sealed envelope! Four more days.
Your back! You got to use your back! Agh, my back! How was day two? Ugh, all this back-breaking labor is killing my back.
I don't know if I can lift with my back all week.
Maybe I should just take my old job back.
Why do you keep saying "back"? It's all I hear all day! I don't mean to sound harsh, but this seems like a toxic work environment, and your back's all mangled and ropey.
Thanks.
Ow! Quit squirming.
Doesn't your boss know to lift with your legs? That's that's, like, hauling and packing 101.
Yeah, I don't know what his deal is, but he keeps saying I've got heart or something.
Then that's the one thing upon which we agree.
You've got heart, Rigby, and in three days, you'll have a paycheck, too.
Can I get a cup of coffee? You got $1.
50? Now, today's gonna be a big day, and some of you schnooks are looking a little back-bottomed, so I'm gonna play the company song to get your backs on track! All right, you pickle pouches, time for your back pay! Joe! Murray! Rorschach! Rigby! Ah! Hey, what the heck, man?! I've been doing your lame back stuff all week! Now pay up! Oh, you'll get your paycheck.
Hey, what gives?! Tell him, Murray.
Hello, Rigby.
Murray.
It's kind of company tradition that on your first paycheck, you got to move a full truck by yourself.
What?! Are you serious?! Hey, my back is tied.
You want the paycheck, you move the boxes! Ugh! Eileen, why'd you bring that guy here? 'Cause you guys are friends, and you always support each other.
Dude, come on, you don't have to go through all this to prove a point.
You got to stop, man.
Let me help.
No, I'm doing it myself! You're just gonna hurt your back, dude! Can't be worse than when you stabbed it! What? Come on! You think the only thing I'm useful for is being your chump! "Rigby, help me get a" girlfriend! Let me borrow your time machine, Rigby! "Rigby, I found a dumb sweater, and I got to return it!" All you do is use me, man.
But I never asked you to do those things! Of course you didn't! I helped 'cause you're my friend.
Then let me help you.
No, this is my job, and I got to unload this truck! Aah! You got to stop this, boss! You're killing him! He's making me proud out there! I love that kid like he was my own flesh and back! Rigby, stop! You're never gonna walk again! Rigby, enough of this! I know you're useful! Now lift with your back so you can get that paycheck! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! You did it, Rigby! Rigby, you're the worst worker I've ever had, and you're like a son to me! I Quit.
I'm going back to my real job.
You'll You'll be back! That was so awesome, dude! You were all like, "wah!" Pssh!" Yeah, but but did you see when I was like, "hyah!" - Aah! - But seriously, dude, I was taking you for granted.
Thanks for helping me all the time.
So, the conflict's been mediated? I just got to do one more thing.
What's that? In your fa Fa Do you need some help, dude?