Spin City s06e06 Episode Script
Yeah Baby!
They didn't have the kind of scotch you wanted, so I got you this.
Thanks.
Now, if you'll just go to the jukebox and play "hot, hot, hot," I'd be perfect.
Relax, we're having dinner.
For the third night in a row.
It's like we're an old married couple.
We are not.
Don't fill up on rolls.
We're never gonna meet anyone if we're always together.
That is not true.
I'll prove it to you.
Watch what happens if you go stand at the bar.
Fine.
Hi.
Is anyone sitting here? No, there isn't.
Great.
Thank you.
[LAUGHTER.]
I think I've proved my point.
Charlie, my friend came through with tickets to "the producers" tomorrow night.
You wanna go? I can't.
I have a date with that girl from the bar.
Not the one with the painted-on jeans, too much makeup, and boobs hanging out of her shirt? Yeah.
The classy one.
Why don't you take one of those wusses who were hitting on you last night? Because those "wusses" are playing the new Jersey devils.
So, they're hockey players.
Big deal.
Don't tell them about the wuss thing, okay? Charlie, Caitlin, I want to introduce you here to Robin Jones.
Robin is a campaign consultant who's come on board to help us reach out to younger voters.
I was really impressed with your idea to have the man guest lecture at city colleges.
Glad you were hip to it.
Hip? What, as in hip-hop? Oh, I see, because I'm an African-American, I'm supposed to be into hip-hop, right? That's not what I meant.
I would never assume I'm just messing with you.
Good one.
Sir, Wheeler's people have proposed the first debate be either at Columbia or Fordham.
I'm thinking Columbia.
Robin? Fordham.
Fordham it is.
See you kids later.
Did you see that? He listened to her instead of me.
Because she's a woman you assume she shouldn't be listened to? N-no, I was just I'm just messing with you.
People have to stop doing that.
So, Stuart, how are things going with Michelle? They're great.
She's kind, she's generous, she's loving.
[LOUDER.]
She's totally givin' it up! I mean, I am scoring right, left, and center.
This woman [SOFTER.]
Is like an angel sent from heaven.
Oh, Stuart, I just got a call from the fertility clinic.
Michelle and I have to be there tomorrow at 1:00.
But I was gonna take her to lunch at benihana.
Stuart, Michelle was inseminated two weeks ago.
We need to have a checkup.
How does that whole thing work anyhow? The process is quite simple.
We take an egg from a donor I selected this incredibly accomplished African-American woman.
That egg is then fertilized with my specimen and implanted into Michelle's uterus.
After that, we hope for successful incubation.
No, no, I was talking about benihana.
I-I mean, if the table is a grill, w-w-wouldn't you burn your elbows? Paul, are you eavesdropping on the mayor and Robin? Yes But Charlie told me to do it.
Do you really expect me to believe the deputy mayor asked you to eavesdrop on the ma you heard anything yet, Paul? No, but I did a little research on miss Jones.
Listen to this the past five years, she's worked on You know how many she's lost? Zero.
She's gonna make us all expendable.
We are this close to cleaning Halibut down at the fish market.
Paul, aren't there other jobs out there? No.
That's the way it works.
City hall, fish market I've seen it happen a million times.
I'm seeing something.
Uh, I'm seeing a chalkboard and a row of desks.
Oh, the teachers union I had a meeting planned with them, but I was thinking of canceling.
Oh, no, don't.
It's gonna go very well.
Wait a minute you're a psychic? No, I'm a political strategist Who also happens to have supernatural perception.
So, you're a psychic with a day job? Sir, I have to advise you against this.
The same thing that happened to Reagan could happen to you.
I'm gonna be president? His image was hurt after people found out he was consulting Nancy's psychic.
You guys should just calm down.
This is nothing to be frightened about.
Whoa! Whoa? I just received a very strong premonition.
Showtime.
I see a woman in red.
She's good.
I see a woman in red, and she's gonna be Late.
Nice try.
In my three years at city hall, I have never been late.
That's true, Robin.
Caitlin's been a wonderful employee.
And so has Charlie.
The only weak link around here is Paul lassiter Who I need to fire immediately.
PAUL: Oh, my God! I love doing that.
Stuart, this dinner was delicious.
So, what's for dessert? How about some Stuart a LA mode? Can I get that with whipped cream? Oh, God, yes.
Oh, you know what? I almost forgot to take these prenatal vitamins that Carter gave me.
What's wrong? Can we just please not talk about Carter and this surrogate thing tonight? I mean, lately I feel like I'm dating the two of you.
You know what? You're right.
Tonight, it's just you and me.
Hmm.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Sorry to interrupt.
I forgot my wallet.
I was never here.
Enjoy your dinner.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Michelle, are you drinking wine? No, he is drinking wine.
I'm having water.
And you said you were going to be out tonight.
You're right.
You're right.
I'm gone.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Did you take your prenatal vitamins? Yes, she took them.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
He is so annoying! He's a little overprotective.
He's not annoying.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Aren't you gonna get that? This could be a real opportunity for us.
My sources indicate that this year, there will be 200,000 first-time voters.
What kind of sources talking chickens? Actually, I just analyzed the latest voter-registration numbers, Charlie.
You know, if I were you, I would drop the attitude.
You're just messing with me, right? Unh-unh.
If you'll excuse me, I have a meeting A I won't be late! Caitlin, everyone, Michelle and I have an announcement to make.
Carter, do we have to tell them right now? We're gonna have a baby! You are? I'm late.
And isn't that a lovely red coat she's wearing? What will my husband look like? Isn't this exciting? Can I talk to you for a second? What is it? Uh, well, you know how during sex a man will wear a well, let's just call it a "sleeping bag.
" Yes.
Well, a couple of weeks ago Michelle and I went camping.
And, um, I kind of forgot to pack gear.
Don't tell me you went camping without a sleeping bag! Well, just for, like, five minutes.
I don't believe this.
I would expect this from Stuart, but, Michelle, how could you let this happen? I'm sorry, Carter.
It it was just a moment of passion.
And I'm just crazy about Stuart.
He's so masculine, so sexy.
You're gonna have to do better than that.
Guys, just stay calm.
I'm gonna go to the doctor right now.
I will talk to you later.
You have managed to make the worse-case scenario come true.
And you know what's really scary about all this? You might be a father.
You know what, I am sick of you underestimating me! If this child is mine, I'll be twice the father you'd be! Oh, yeah? Ha! Oh, Carter, I heard you're gonna be a father.
Uh Actually, sir, the baby might be Stuart's.
I see.
Well, you know, uh, one of my skills as mayor is being able to smile through even the most awkward situation.
No, I can't pull this one off.
Excuse me, Robin? Robin? Listen, you've been stepping on my toes lately, and I think it's time you realized where I stand in the chain of command.
You got the mayor, the deputy mayor, the communications director, the head of minority affairs, everybody on the fourth floor, and then me.
You are the man! Yes, I am.
I am the man, yes.
My point being, from now on, I insist I have to be in on every meeting that you have with the mayor.
No.
Would you tell him I said, "hi"? Robin, I have an extra ticket to "the producers" tonight.
Are you interested? My meeting with New York one is over at 7:00, so sure.
Good.
How's it going, Caitlin? Nostradamus? What was that? Oh, something bad is gonna happen to Charlie tonight.
He has a date.
Does it have something to do with that? I see it happening in his apartment.
You think he'll bring this girl back to his place? Even I can predict that.
I better tell him.
Yeah.
You have to cancel your date.
Robin says something's gonna go wrong.
She's an exotic dancer who was kicked out of modeling school on a morals charge.
What could go wrong? I'm serious.
I see what's going on here.
You got comfortable with our make-believe relationship.
Now that I'm moving on, you're a little jealous.
Could your ego be any bigger? I am actually worried about you.
And I'm worried about you up all night having lustful dreams about taking a trip to Charlie-ville.
You know, I must have had that dream last night, because I woke up really Disappointed.
Didn't see that one coming.
What are you doing here? I'm buying toys for my future baby, like any good father would.
Look, if you want to pretend this baby is yours, be my guest.
But stay out of my way.
Uh, excuse me? What's the most popular toy out right now? That would be the giggling gizmo.
But you better move fast.
There's only one left.
Slow down, fellas.
What's the rush? O-o-o-o-oh! Ooh! O-o-oh! Ah ha ha! O-oh, ow! Oh! Ugh! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
Look what you've reduced me to.
Whew! Four hours ago, I was the happiest man in the world.
Now, thanks to you, I may not be a father.
I said I was sorry.
But you're not! Michelle's being pregnant is just a big joke to you.
What, are you kidding? I'm terrified.
I don't know how to raise a child.
My parents weren't exactly role models.
My dad was never around.
My mother said herself she was unfit to care for a child.
She said that to you? No, she said it to the judge when she was tanking the custody battle.
I mean, what if I'm as bad as my parents? I don't want to put some kid through that.
Stuart, the fact that you're aware of it means a lot.
And besides, if the baby's yours, you'll have Michelle And I'll be around.
Yeah.
Thanks, Carter.
Let's get out of here, huh? Well, shouldn't we pick up these toys? No, they got people that do that.
Hey, who left these wha-a-a-a-a! Sir, we need to talk.
I'm very upset.
I've spent my entire political career in your administration well, that's funny.
Your résumé said you worked for three years in Washington.
Who can remember what was on my résumé? I can.
I've got it right here.
In fact, why don't we have the rest of this conversation in fluent Portuguese? I don't want to show off.
The point is, sir, since Robin has been around, I-I feel like I've been out of the loop.
I'm sorry you feel that way, because I want you to know you're a very important part of this administration.
And I'll always value your opinion.
Well, thank you, sir.
I'm having a lunch meeting tomorrow with Robin.
Care to sit in? Well, I'd be honored.
Thank you, sir.
Or as they say in the Portuguese Cinto me muito doente.
I am very impressed, Paul.
I'm sorry I ever doubted you.
[LAUGHING.]
Bere gala.
Thank you so much for inviting me to the show.
It's nice to hang out with a woman for once.
So, tell me how bad is Charlie's date gonna be tonight? Oh, wait a minute.
I see him getting hurt.
Hurt as in "feelings"? No, hurt as in, "ow, that hurt!" Oh Uh, what are you saying? I'm saying Charlie is in real danger.
I better go.
Yeah.
Whoa.
What? Another premonition? No, check out the tush on Matthew broderick.
[APPLAUSE.]
I'm sorry.
Go.
I wanna play something for you.
Hope it moves you as much as it moves me.
["True" BY SPANDAU BALLET PLAYS.]
Spandau ballet really came into their own on this album.
It's nice.
It's a refreshing departure from their earlier, more exuberant work.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Hey, it's Charlie.
Leave a message.
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS.]
Charlie, it's Caitlin.
I know you're there.
Pick up the phone.
Sorry.
What were we talking about? Spandau ballet.
Right.
I met them once.
They were opening for the Thompson twins.
Nice guys.
I think you're a nice guy.
Well, I'm not here to argue.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Did you hear that? Yeah.
It's one of the top-three sax solos of all time.
Someone's at the door.
CAITLIN: I'm not leaving until you let me in.
What?! Robin says you're in serious danger.
We gotta get you out of here.
Are you wearing a blouse? This is a custom-made silk shirt imported from Italy.
Looks like a blouse.
Will you leave? I'm not ending this date because some psychic said we're in danger.
A psychic said we're in danger? I know.
That's absurd.
Nobody with a half a brain believes in any of this psychic nonsense.
Bartender, I'd like to buy a round of drinks for everyone.
I might be a father! [ALL CHEERING.]
After that, another round on me.
I might be a father! [ALL CHEERING.]
Who are the lucky mothers? You mean, "mother.
" It's the same woman.
Hooray! Yippee! Hey, I need to talk to you guys.
Michelle, I'm glad you're here.
I'm not pregnant.
What? I'm not pregnant.
I was just a little late.
Wow! Wow.
Well, uh, the doctor says it'll take a few tries.
That's the thing, Carter.
I don't want to keep trying.
I-I-I thought you said you wanted to do this.
I thought so, too.
But when the test came back negative today, I was really disappointed.
I felt like I had lost something.
And then I started thinking How would I have felt nine months from now if I had to give up a baby? And I just don't think I could do that.
I'm really sorry, Carter.
No, no, no.
No, no.
Don't be.
I totally understand.
You're a great friend for even considering it.
[SIGHS.]
I'll be right back.
[SMOOCHES.]
Can I order you anything? Yes, any combination of alcohol and caffeine.
Well I guess it wasn't meant to happen this way, but, uh I gotta say I'm a little disappointed.
For the first time, I think I know how you feel.
But it's gonna happen for you another way.
And when it does, you're gonna be a great father.
You know what? Someday, we both will be.
Hey, Jim.
Hey, Steve.
Man, I had the worst day.
I packed you an overnight bag.
Socks, underwear, some more blouses.
The custom silk shirts? Right.
Caitlin, this psychic stuff has got to stop.
Admit it you're jealous.
I'm not jealous.
You walk out of a play, run to my apartment, and ruin my date All because of some psychic prediction? It does sound crazy when you put it like that.
Come on, you enjoy being part of a pretend couple.
Well Maybe I do enjoy pretending like we're a couple.
I mean, with you, I always have someone to have dinner with, tell my problems to, and it never has to lead to sex.
It's every man's dream.
I really like hanging out with you, too, and I don't want it to stop But us not dating is getting in the way of us dating.
That didn't make sense.
No, I know what you mean.
We need to give each other space.
I'm gonna go now.
Where you going? I might grab a bite.
Alone? Yeah.
I'm actually Pretty hungry.
Oh You probably have something in the fridge.
See you tomorrow.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
I'm just messing with you.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Hey, it's Charlie.
Leave a message.
[BEEP.]
Charlie, it's Caitlin.
I just wanted to apologize again for being so weird about all of this psychic stuff.
You were right.
It's a bunch of nonsense.
Obviously Robin was wrong.
You're not in any danger.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.
(BARKING) Moo.
Thanks.
Now, if you'll just go to the jukebox and play "hot, hot, hot," I'd be perfect.
Relax, we're having dinner.
For the third night in a row.
It's like we're an old married couple.
We are not.
Don't fill up on rolls.
We're never gonna meet anyone if we're always together.
That is not true.
I'll prove it to you.
Watch what happens if you go stand at the bar.
Fine.
Hi.
Is anyone sitting here? No, there isn't.
Great.
Thank you.
[LAUGHTER.]
I think I've proved my point.
Charlie, my friend came through with tickets to "the producers" tomorrow night.
You wanna go? I can't.
I have a date with that girl from the bar.
Not the one with the painted-on jeans, too much makeup, and boobs hanging out of her shirt? Yeah.
The classy one.
Why don't you take one of those wusses who were hitting on you last night? Because those "wusses" are playing the new Jersey devils.
So, they're hockey players.
Big deal.
Don't tell them about the wuss thing, okay? Charlie, Caitlin, I want to introduce you here to Robin Jones.
Robin is a campaign consultant who's come on board to help us reach out to younger voters.
I was really impressed with your idea to have the man guest lecture at city colleges.
Glad you were hip to it.
Hip? What, as in hip-hop? Oh, I see, because I'm an African-American, I'm supposed to be into hip-hop, right? That's not what I meant.
I would never assume I'm just messing with you.
Good one.
Sir, Wheeler's people have proposed the first debate be either at Columbia or Fordham.
I'm thinking Columbia.
Robin? Fordham.
Fordham it is.
See you kids later.
Did you see that? He listened to her instead of me.
Because she's a woman you assume she shouldn't be listened to? N-no, I was just I'm just messing with you.
People have to stop doing that.
So, Stuart, how are things going with Michelle? They're great.
She's kind, she's generous, she's loving.
[LOUDER.]
She's totally givin' it up! I mean, I am scoring right, left, and center.
This woman [SOFTER.]
Is like an angel sent from heaven.
Oh, Stuart, I just got a call from the fertility clinic.
Michelle and I have to be there tomorrow at 1:00.
But I was gonna take her to lunch at benihana.
Stuart, Michelle was inseminated two weeks ago.
We need to have a checkup.
How does that whole thing work anyhow? The process is quite simple.
We take an egg from a donor I selected this incredibly accomplished African-American woman.
That egg is then fertilized with my specimen and implanted into Michelle's uterus.
After that, we hope for successful incubation.
No, no, I was talking about benihana.
I-I mean, if the table is a grill, w-w-wouldn't you burn your elbows? Paul, are you eavesdropping on the mayor and Robin? Yes But Charlie told me to do it.
Do you really expect me to believe the deputy mayor asked you to eavesdrop on the ma you heard anything yet, Paul? No, but I did a little research on miss Jones.
Listen to this the past five years, she's worked on You know how many she's lost? Zero.
She's gonna make us all expendable.
We are this close to cleaning Halibut down at the fish market.
Paul, aren't there other jobs out there? No.
That's the way it works.
City hall, fish market I've seen it happen a million times.
I'm seeing something.
Uh, I'm seeing a chalkboard and a row of desks.
Oh, the teachers union I had a meeting planned with them, but I was thinking of canceling.
Oh, no, don't.
It's gonna go very well.
Wait a minute you're a psychic? No, I'm a political strategist Who also happens to have supernatural perception.
So, you're a psychic with a day job? Sir, I have to advise you against this.
The same thing that happened to Reagan could happen to you.
I'm gonna be president? His image was hurt after people found out he was consulting Nancy's psychic.
You guys should just calm down.
This is nothing to be frightened about.
Whoa! Whoa? I just received a very strong premonition.
Showtime.
I see a woman in red.
She's good.
I see a woman in red, and she's gonna be Late.
Nice try.
In my three years at city hall, I have never been late.
That's true, Robin.
Caitlin's been a wonderful employee.
And so has Charlie.
The only weak link around here is Paul lassiter Who I need to fire immediately.
PAUL: Oh, my God! I love doing that.
Stuart, this dinner was delicious.
So, what's for dessert? How about some Stuart a LA mode? Can I get that with whipped cream? Oh, God, yes.
Oh, you know what? I almost forgot to take these prenatal vitamins that Carter gave me.
What's wrong? Can we just please not talk about Carter and this surrogate thing tonight? I mean, lately I feel like I'm dating the two of you.
You know what? You're right.
Tonight, it's just you and me.
Hmm.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Sorry to interrupt.
I forgot my wallet.
I was never here.
Enjoy your dinner.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Michelle, are you drinking wine? No, he is drinking wine.
I'm having water.
And you said you were going to be out tonight.
You're right.
You're right.
I'm gone.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
Did you take your prenatal vitamins? Yes, she took them.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
He is so annoying! He's a little overprotective.
He's not annoying.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Aren't you gonna get that? This could be a real opportunity for us.
My sources indicate that this year, there will be 200,000 first-time voters.
What kind of sources talking chickens? Actually, I just analyzed the latest voter-registration numbers, Charlie.
You know, if I were you, I would drop the attitude.
You're just messing with me, right? Unh-unh.
If you'll excuse me, I have a meeting A I won't be late! Caitlin, everyone, Michelle and I have an announcement to make.
Carter, do we have to tell them right now? We're gonna have a baby! You are? I'm late.
And isn't that a lovely red coat she's wearing? What will my husband look like? Isn't this exciting? Can I talk to you for a second? What is it? Uh, well, you know how during sex a man will wear a well, let's just call it a "sleeping bag.
" Yes.
Well, a couple of weeks ago Michelle and I went camping.
And, um, I kind of forgot to pack gear.
Don't tell me you went camping without a sleeping bag! Well, just for, like, five minutes.
I don't believe this.
I would expect this from Stuart, but, Michelle, how could you let this happen? I'm sorry, Carter.
It it was just a moment of passion.
And I'm just crazy about Stuart.
He's so masculine, so sexy.
You're gonna have to do better than that.
Guys, just stay calm.
I'm gonna go to the doctor right now.
I will talk to you later.
You have managed to make the worse-case scenario come true.
And you know what's really scary about all this? You might be a father.
You know what, I am sick of you underestimating me! If this child is mine, I'll be twice the father you'd be! Oh, yeah? Ha! Oh, Carter, I heard you're gonna be a father.
Uh Actually, sir, the baby might be Stuart's.
I see.
Well, you know, uh, one of my skills as mayor is being able to smile through even the most awkward situation.
No, I can't pull this one off.
Excuse me, Robin? Robin? Listen, you've been stepping on my toes lately, and I think it's time you realized where I stand in the chain of command.
You got the mayor, the deputy mayor, the communications director, the head of minority affairs, everybody on the fourth floor, and then me.
You are the man! Yes, I am.
I am the man, yes.
My point being, from now on, I insist I have to be in on every meeting that you have with the mayor.
No.
Would you tell him I said, "hi"? Robin, I have an extra ticket to "the producers" tonight.
Are you interested? My meeting with New York one is over at 7:00, so sure.
Good.
How's it going, Caitlin? Nostradamus? What was that? Oh, something bad is gonna happen to Charlie tonight.
He has a date.
Does it have something to do with that? I see it happening in his apartment.
You think he'll bring this girl back to his place? Even I can predict that.
I better tell him.
Yeah.
You have to cancel your date.
Robin says something's gonna go wrong.
She's an exotic dancer who was kicked out of modeling school on a morals charge.
What could go wrong? I'm serious.
I see what's going on here.
You got comfortable with our make-believe relationship.
Now that I'm moving on, you're a little jealous.
Could your ego be any bigger? I am actually worried about you.
And I'm worried about you up all night having lustful dreams about taking a trip to Charlie-ville.
You know, I must have had that dream last night, because I woke up really Disappointed.
Didn't see that one coming.
What are you doing here? I'm buying toys for my future baby, like any good father would.
Look, if you want to pretend this baby is yours, be my guest.
But stay out of my way.
Uh, excuse me? What's the most popular toy out right now? That would be the giggling gizmo.
But you better move fast.
There's only one left.
Slow down, fellas.
What's the rush? O-o-o-o-oh! Ooh! O-o-oh! Ah ha ha! O-oh, ow! Oh! Ugh! [BOTH GRUNTING.]
Look what you've reduced me to.
Whew! Four hours ago, I was the happiest man in the world.
Now, thanks to you, I may not be a father.
I said I was sorry.
But you're not! Michelle's being pregnant is just a big joke to you.
What, are you kidding? I'm terrified.
I don't know how to raise a child.
My parents weren't exactly role models.
My dad was never around.
My mother said herself she was unfit to care for a child.
She said that to you? No, she said it to the judge when she was tanking the custody battle.
I mean, what if I'm as bad as my parents? I don't want to put some kid through that.
Stuart, the fact that you're aware of it means a lot.
And besides, if the baby's yours, you'll have Michelle And I'll be around.
Yeah.
Thanks, Carter.
Let's get out of here, huh? Well, shouldn't we pick up these toys? No, they got people that do that.
Hey, who left these wha-a-a-a-a! Sir, we need to talk.
I'm very upset.
I've spent my entire political career in your administration well, that's funny.
Your résumé said you worked for three years in Washington.
Who can remember what was on my résumé? I can.
I've got it right here.
In fact, why don't we have the rest of this conversation in fluent Portuguese? I don't want to show off.
The point is, sir, since Robin has been around, I-I feel like I've been out of the loop.
I'm sorry you feel that way, because I want you to know you're a very important part of this administration.
And I'll always value your opinion.
Well, thank you, sir.
I'm having a lunch meeting tomorrow with Robin.
Care to sit in? Well, I'd be honored.
Thank you, sir.
Or as they say in the Portuguese Cinto me muito doente.
I am very impressed, Paul.
I'm sorry I ever doubted you.
[LAUGHING.]
Bere gala.
Thank you so much for inviting me to the show.
It's nice to hang out with a woman for once.
So, tell me how bad is Charlie's date gonna be tonight? Oh, wait a minute.
I see him getting hurt.
Hurt as in "feelings"? No, hurt as in, "ow, that hurt!" Oh Uh, what are you saying? I'm saying Charlie is in real danger.
I better go.
Yeah.
Whoa.
What? Another premonition? No, check out the tush on Matthew broderick.
[APPLAUSE.]
I'm sorry.
Go.
I wanna play something for you.
Hope it moves you as much as it moves me.
["True" BY SPANDAU BALLET PLAYS.]
Spandau ballet really came into their own on this album.
It's nice.
It's a refreshing departure from their earlier, more exuberant work.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Hey, it's Charlie.
Leave a message.
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS.]
Charlie, it's Caitlin.
I know you're there.
Pick up the phone.
Sorry.
What were we talking about? Spandau ballet.
Right.
I met them once.
They were opening for the Thompson twins.
Nice guys.
I think you're a nice guy.
Well, I'm not here to argue.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Did you hear that? Yeah.
It's one of the top-three sax solos of all time.
Someone's at the door.
CAITLIN: I'm not leaving until you let me in.
What?! Robin says you're in serious danger.
We gotta get you out of here.
Are you wearing a blouse? This is a custom-made silk shirt imported from Italy.
Looks like a blouse.
Will you leave? I'm not ending this date because some psychic said we're in danger.
A psychic said we're in danger? I know.
That's absurd.
Nobody with a half a brain believes in any of this psychic nonsense.
Bartender, I'd like to buy a round of drinks for everyone.
I might be a father! [ALL CHEERING.]
After that, another round on me.
I might be a father! [ALL CHEERING.]
Who are the lucky mothers? You mean, "mother.
" It's the same woman.
Hooray! Yippee! Hey, I need to talk to you guys.
Michelle, I'm glad you're here.
I'm not pregnant.
What? I'm not pregnant.
I was just a little late.
Wow! Wow.
Well, uh, the doctor says it'll take a few tries.
That's the thing, Carter.
I don't want to keep trying.
I-I-I thought you said you wanted to do this.
I thought so, too.
But when the test came back negative today, I was really disappointed.
I felt like I had lost something.
And then I started thinking How would I have felt nine months from now if I had to give up a baby? And I just don't think I could do that.
I'm really sorry, Carter.
No, no, no.
No, no.
Don't be.
I totally understand.
You're a great friend for even considering it.
[SIGHS.]
I'll be right back.
[SMOOCHES.]
Can I order you anything? Yes, any combination of alcohol and caffeine.
Well I guess it wasn't meant to happen this way, but, uh I gotta say I'm a little disappointed.
For the first time, I think I know how you feel.
But it's gonna happen for you another way.
And when it does, you're gonna be a great father.
You know what? Someday, we both will be.
Hey, Jim.
Hey, Steve.
Man, I had the worst day.
I packed you an overnight bag.
Socks, underwear, some more blouses.
The custom silk shirts? Right.
Caitlin, this psychic stuff has got to stop.
Admit it you're jealous.
I'm not jealous.
You walk out of a play, run to my apartment, and ruin my date All because of some psychic prediction? It does sound crazy when you put it like that.
Come on, you enjoy being part of a pretend couple.
Well Maybe I do enjoy pretending like we're a couple.
I mean, with you, I always have someone to have dinner with, tell my problems to, and it never has to lead to sex.
It's every man's dream.
I really like hanging out with you, too, and I don't want it to stop But us not dating is getting in the way of us dating.
That didn't make sense.
No, I know what you mean.
We need to give each other space.
I'm gonna go now.
Where you going? I might grab a bite.
Alone? Yeah.
I'm actually Pretty hungry.
Oh You probably have something in the fridge.
See you tomorrow.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
I'm just messing with you.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Hey, it's Charlie.
Leave a message.
[BEEP.]
Charlie, it's Caitlin.
I just wanted to apologize again for being so weird about all of this psychic stuff.
You were right.
It's a bunch of nonsense.
Obviously Robin was wrong.
You're not in any danger.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Sit, ubu, sit.
Good dog.
(BARKING) Moo.