Dawson's Creek s06e07 Episode Script

Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell

Hey.
You out of here? Yeah.
I got some stuff to do on campus.
Three o'clock.
Yeah, I know when Hetson's class is, Jo.
I know.
I just didn't want you to feel weird or something.
It's no fun without you.
No one to contest my opinions with snarky feedback.
I'm starting to feel smart.
Yeah, well, finals should nip that pesky ego in the butt.
I can't believe this semester is almost over.
I know.
Home for the holidays? What could be homier than this clean, well-lighted place? Seriously.
Where are you from? Does it make a difference? Where are you from? Capeside.
- What? - Nothing.
It's just Capeside.
I guess that's about right.
- About right for what? - Relax.
- Nothing to be ashamed of.
- Have you been to Capeside? They don't let my kind go far east.
Thank goodness we have neutral ground.
Yeah.
We're a regular Sam and Diane.
Me with my rugged charms, you with fancy book learning.
You've got it all wrong, Eddie.
I'm from the wrong side of the tracks.
Don't mess with me.
I don't know.
I kind of like it when you get all Foxfire on me.
Nothing like a fancy girl slumming it.
You know what? You're very lucky I have class right now.
- Because tonight, we rumble.
- I will be here.
I'm working a double today, and don't you have anything better to do on your night off than loll around your place of work? It just so happens Hell's Belles is going to thoroughly rock the house.
And I like the onion rings.
I'll see you later, Joey.
So, what is going on with you and this David fellow? Keep to your own furtive gropings, thank you.
Oh, Jack.
No, it wasn't like that.
I mean, there was coffee, there was talking, and I don't wanna jinx it.
Why so shy? Come on, somebody's gotta be getting some.
God.
Cracking this C.
J.
case is proving too difficult for the delicate likes of me.
Easy, easy.
Your sexual frustration's hitting a vein.
Anyway, we're meeting in the cafeteria after class.
Can I come? C.
J.
will probably be there.
Jen, don't you think you've given this the old college try? This much effort's beneath you.
You said so yourself, didn't you? Oh, you can't hold the ultimatums of party Jen against me.
I was wearing a wig.
Feeling crazy.
All right.
Hey, tell you what.
Bring Grams too.
- Maybe I will.
- Afternoon, everyone.
I wanted to start class by telling you all that you won't be seeing me after finals.
The publication of my critical essays secured academic visitation in Chicago.
I'm leaving Boston Bay at the end of the semester.
Since our time is limited, I wanted to invite you to the book signing tonight over at Winthrop Hall.
You've been a great class, one of my favourites.
Did you know about this? No.
I had no idea.
So let's get started.
Decided to bless the orphans with your Betsey Johnson? Hardly.
I am auditioning outfits, and everything is failing miserably.
Where have all my sex clothes gone? Pacey Witter has pillaged my fashion sense.
You mean there are clothes that show off your chest even more? Yes.
And quite frankly, the girls are feeling shunned.
The band's playing at your bar, and I want them resplendent.
Wouldn't miss it for the world.
I'm not working tonight.
You will have my full and undivided attention.
Might be nice if you showed your face around here.
I know I'm low maintenance and all- I wouldn't go that far.
I figured you and Pacey would appreciate private time.
Yeah, well.
That was a great help.
I've dumped Pacey four months too late and not a slutty frock has survived.
- Not a one, I tell you.
- What? When did you dump Pacey? Hello? Mid-midlife crisis, thanks for watching.
Jeez, Joey, would it kill you to keep up? Audrey, I'm sorry.
I've been- Wait, when did this happen? The horror that was Halloween.
Whatever.
I don't wanna talk about it.
Audrey, how could you not tell me about this? I know I've been gone, but a bathroom sidebar might have been in order.
I guess I figured you'd hear it from Pacey in some " How has life been since you?" conversation.
Of course not.
We live together.
Just because I'm running around doesn't mean I don't have time for you.
It would have been great to hear ex-girlfriend wisdom at the time but now, I'm kind of done reliving it.
Okay.
Have you noticed how your apartment looks like the one on My Two Dads? I think it's the spiral staircase.
I don't know if you and Pacey are embroiled in whose sperm is whose but would you maybe want to go out tonight, Jack? - I cannot believe that you just did that.
- What? No hedging, no subtext.
No horrible puns.
Gays have it so easy.
Straight boys are never so straight.
- Love to.
- Cool.
Know what? Emma and Audrey are playing.
That's right.
We should go to that.
That okay? Then do something else? - Yeah.
- Okay, wait.
Go with me for a second.
Before C.
J.
gets here.
So we're gonna go see the pretty girls play.
We can ask C.
J.
to join us on this very innocent group outing.
Why bother with the subtleties? We can club him over the head and drag him.
- Jack, work with me here.
- No.
We should ask him to come.
It'd be fun if we all went.
It's just well, C.
J.
doesn't really date.
What? Does he just jump straight into the sack? Coffee to condoms? What are we talking here? No.
You see, I mean, he doesn't date at all.
Well, his life is sort of complicated.
He - I shouldn't talk about it.
- I'm sure it's not that bad.
- Come on, bring it on.
Please? - Jen! Will you stop using my friend as your Deep Throat, please? Yeah.
Forget I said that one.
Here comes C.
J.
- Oh, hey.
- Hey.
This is last minute, but I don't suppose that you'd wanna come with us tonight and see our friend play in a band? - It's Audrey.
You know Audrey.
- The one that's guaranteed to entertain.
- I recall.
Yeah, sounds like fun.
- Excellent.
Jack.
Soon-to-be-extinct Freeman, and kind of looks like he needs to pee.
I think maybe he just wants to talk to you.
Yeah.
Excuse me, guys.
I'm sorry.
I'll be right back.
- Wanna sit? - Yep.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt.
It's okay.
That's all right.
Plenty of time to eat.
So class today, how about that? Jack, I keep thinking about that first conversation we had.
You said this was the first time you'd felt motivated in a while.
I'd hate to think I'd taken away the college experience you deserve.
Well, I'll keep on applying myself.
Look, next week is reading week.
And after that, there's finals, and after that well, I'm gone.
It would just- It would mean a lot to me if you were there tonight, Jack.
I'll think about it.
Hope you packed condoms and toothpaste, because we're taking a trip.
You all passed your Series 7 s.
Some of you with flying colours, you smarty-pants pansies.
- So tonight, we celebrate.
- New Orleans? How about that? We are so obnoxiously wealthy we are flying to the Big Easy.
To indulge in all its pleasures for 24 sickening hours.
So don't tell me you have to call your mommies or anything.
Just admit that first class, free hotel rooms and good old Southern girls who learned to drink before you played Nintendo are too good to pass.
Pack it up, gentlemen.
Logan, one hour.
Yeah, baby.
So you guys are here for the weekend? Just the night, actually.
Oh, that's too bad.
There's a lot of fun to be had here.
- I can see that.
- I could show you around.
You know, I've been here before.
My girlfriend and I, we came through here.
So you have a girlfriend.
Oh, no.
No, no.
She dumped me.
Well, I think my friends are waiting for me, but it's nice meeting you, Percy.
Hi there.
I don't do guys in mourning.
Witter, man.
You are pathetic.
And here I thought you'd be my only competition.
You're making this easy.
Look, Rinaldi, it would be a lot different if I was actually in this game which I'm not because women do actually like the sensitive type.
Yeah, okay, because that's what's been working for me.
Right? Everything seems magical when you see it from the other side, right? The command with which you pour is staggering.
Thank you.
How was class today? The usual.
We're ending Gravity's Rainbow and Hetson insisted I'd never understand experimental ramblings.
Well, that's silly.
Diane Chambers is an extremely well-read character.
She would have schooled Hetson.
And, you know, your whole Sam-Diane class argument thing, it's very weak.
- He made more money than her.
- I make more than your colleagues but that doesn't put us in the same bracket.
Hey, cute bar boy.
Give me a shot, will you? I got the shakes.
You are so awesome for coming to see me play.
And here, buy a round of shots for the future boyfriends of America.
Oh, God.
That hurt.
God, who did her parents buy off to get her into Worthington? You're more acerbic than usual tonight, if that's possible.
- Everything okay? - Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I just- I hate working doubles, and I don't like working with Sam.
No one to flirt with? Yeah, or clumsily insult, whichever you prefer.
Well, I'll come back up later.
Right now I have to go stroke Audrey's ego.
Sounds enticing.
- Hey.
- Hi, sweetie.
Well, thanks for coming.
Hope you enjoy.
- Jack, you came.
- Yeah.
I don't like to let free food go to waste.
Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad.
Looks like a lot of people support your decision.
Slow night on campus maybe.
It's tricky putting together projects like this book.
There's always a handful of people who'll think it's bathroom material.
But I always held out the naive belief that there would be a reader or two who might find something stimulating beyond easy cultural references.
Friends assumed your class was Cultural Cliff's Notes which would pretty much make it Entertainment Weekly, I guess.
Did you feel that way? All things aside, did I ever seem less than riveted? Your wife must not be psyched, moving to Chicago in the winter.
Actually, she's not going to make the move with me.
I'm sorry.
Well, let's not.
I can talk about where I went wrong, and a maudlin Freeman - isn't gonna do us good.
- Yeah.
So I gotta ask.
Why did you decide to come? Don't you have somewhere to be, though? No, no.
I have some time.
That's great.
Let me introduce you to some people.
I have no idea what is keeping Jack, David.
- I'm sure it's a hair-related issue.
- No, it's okay.
It's flattering to think each carefully misplaced strand might be for me.
I'm gonna head up to the bar.
You need anything? - No, I'm good.
- I'm fine.
Well, I'm glad that you came tonight.
I know that this might not really be your thing.
How do you figure that? I have nothing against good company.
And I guess I can't speak to the quality of the music yet Oh, well, Audrey is nothing if not a stellar performer.
- How's she been lately? - Audrey? - Yeah.
- Great.
Good.
Well, maybe not the greatest of greats, but I would give her a solid good.
Why do you ask? Well, she seems like she might be a little depressed.
She doesn't look depressed.
It's easy not to look it when you're doing your damnedest not to feel it.
Or anything, for that matter.
- Hello.
- David, hey.
It's me.
- I am so sorry.
- Don't worry about it.
- Are you on your way? - No, not exactly.
Should I call the police maybe? Can't say in front of your kidnappers? I'm coming.
I promise.
I just got sucked into this nightmare academic schmooze-fest.
I have, like, two more profound things to say, and I'm out of here.
I swear.
Don't worry about it.
C.
J.
's here.
Your friends have mastered the art of polite conversation.
- So I will see you when I see you.
- All right, cool.
I'll see you.
How you doing? - Fine.
- I didn't ask how you were looking.
- I asked how you were doing.
- Oh, come on, Rich.
Even I gotta stop you on that.
I mean, who says that? - Your friend does, apparently.
- Oh, no.
He's not my friend.
That's right.
I'm his boss.
- Rich Rinaldi.
- I'm Denise.
That's a beautiful name for a beautiful girl.
I think Denise means drama in its Greek origin.
And might I say, Denise, that you have breasts that are begging to be touched.
Oh, that's a coincidence.
Since you apparently have testicles that are begging to be castrated.
Okay, then.
I'll take my goods elsewhere.
Please do.
You know, I think Rich actually means slimeball in its original form but I'd have to check the books on that.
- What's your name? - I'm Pacey.
I am sorry for that, though I'm sure you're used to having men saying inappropriate things to you all the time.
I am.
I'm not used to them leaving their considerably more attractive and likable friends behind.
Miss me? How could I, I've been waiting on you and your friends.
Good point.
So, what are you doing after? - Tonight? - Well, yeah.
When I get off work, nothing's more depressing than trying to go to sleep with visions of drunkards in my head.
So I was thinking some sort of social activity would be a good segue.
- We could- - Let me have a beer for the stage.
No, I can't let you take that up there.
Come on, you guys both work here, like anyone cares.
I care, and it seems to me you're already wasted.
- Well, whose fault is that? - Yours.
Yeah, well, you served me, sucker.
I'm cutting you off.
You're gonna have to listen to yourself sing sober.
Sorry.
Come on, Eddie.
I mean, it's not like she's going out driving.
She's nervous.
Our asses might be on the line for serving underage people.
Did that slip your mind because you're not working? What are you talking about? This is a college bar.
I mean, you've never cared before.
I care when an underage girl gets drunk and trashes the place on my watch.
I'm cutting her off.
That's it.
God, somebody needs to get laid.
- Audrey.
- He clearly takes his job too seriously.
Tell me something, Eddie.
What's it like looking down the barrel of a gun and seeing a janitor's uniform and a bus pass? - You'll get me another beer, won't you? - I'm thinking no.
Jeez! It's like this bar's run by Donna Reed and Mr.
Rogers.
Get her out of here.
Did you not just witness my magnificent force? Did you not hear us warming up up there? Think we're doing it for a lark? Get up there.
I love you, you crazy bird! Hey, spread the joy on stage, Courtney Love.
Okay? We're on.
Go, go, go.
- I'm not her keeper.
- No, it's worse.
You're her friend.
How are we all doing tonight? We're Hell's Belles, and we are here to throw down this fascist regime.
Seems like the establishment don't want us to have a good time.
Who wants to stick it to the Man? Yeah, okay.
I think that's everything.
I think that there is some intestine in there.
Okay.
Why don't we go get you some water.
How much did you drink? Clearly, I don't remember.
Were you drinking in the changing room? I didn't see you have much.
I said, I don't remember.
Audrey, not to sound like an after-school special but this kind of isn't like you.
And what exactly is like me? You know, I could've been an alkie since age 6.
You don't know.
- It's just- - I'm fine! Have you never gotten drunk before? I have, and it's usually been because I felt pretty awful about something I was just wondering if you felt awful.
I feel like I don't want a soulful exchange about how I'm bad and you're good.
- That's not where I was going.
- Like hell it wasn't.
You've mastered the art of holier-than-thou, Joey.
Don't feed me crap about how you don't need to drink or do drugs to have fun.
Because you know what? I've never seen you have fun a day in my life.
Except for that singing thing, and even then you were imitating me.
We should save this for morning because we don't wanna say anything we'll regret.
God! Will you stop protecting me? I'm so sick of living in this little antiseptic universe you've all created.
All we do is we sit around and we drink soda and we talk about how glad we are we're all friends, which is ridiculous, Joey.
What friend wouldn't know I broke up with my boyfriend? You know what, Audrey? I said I was sorry about that.
You know what? I don't even care.
I just don't want someone who's completely dropped out of my life suddenly judging it.
Did you notice I was depressed before I upset your boyfriend from Southie? Eddie is not my boyfriend.
Right.
I think it's really pathetic that's the only thing you had the need to comment on.
So have fun tonight, wherever you're going.
To be honest, I don't know if there's somewhere to go.
Didn't mean to keep you with my scholastic jabber.
No.
No, I wasn't bored.
That's why I'm braving social leprosy.
I'm glad you came.
There's a part of my book I wrote early in the semester.
You'd made a comment in class about the asexuality of good guys in film.
It was a small thing, but it sparked something.
And I thought no one does that anymore.
Sparks something.
You were right.
Not just in class.
You were just- You were right about a lot of things.
I wasn't waiting for you to tell me, if that's why you think I'm standing here.
Then why are you? It's sad.
That you're probably the most popular professor here.
The most inspirational.
And yet you felt you had to hide that part of yourself that's real.
But you know what? However long it took you to get here at least you did.
And that's why I'm standing out here in the cold.
A week ago I was this unavailable married man.
There used to be six different versions of myself I presented.
Now there's just this.
And now I kind of wish I'd noticed it sooner.
Or that I'd noticed you.
Maybe it's too late.
You tell me.
I can't.
I'm sorry, I can't.
I've kept someone waiting all night that the timing was actually right with.
It's late.
I gotta go.
Yeah, I gotta go.
Guess you weren't so off base with the Audrey thing.
You mean her performances aren't typically that inspired? Not so Jennifer Jason Leigh in Georgia, no.
Thank you.
Audrey's one of the few people that I know who seemed to enter the fold well-adjusted and confident.
She made all of us seem dramatic.
It's hard to keep up a front once people expect it from you.
You wake up in the morning, you don't feel so great so you need something to take off the edge.
That's what I used to do.
I took my first drink when I was 12.
When I hit high school, I was shaking by noon if I wasn't drunk.
So rather than thinking, " Hey, that can't be normal," I just keep drinking.
Provided a steady numb ride through those awkward teen years.
It's tough to get off of.
Yeah.
Yeah, but you did.
So you must've done something right.
Yeah.
Yeah, I hit rock bottom.
Sure-fire way to snap out of something is to wake up from a blackout realizing you're the guy at the party who told everybody what they didn't wanna hear.
And then alienating the one person that you cared about.
So there's that, which is why I don't date anymore.
I really don't think you have to be so hard on yourself.
We all mess up.
Jen, you really don't want to know that much about me, I promise.
Probably gonna need a key for this.
That might help.
- Where would you have put that? - Hold on one second.
I'm not so good at waiting.
Here we go.
Okay.
- Some night, huh? - Yep.
I'm sorry about Sorry about the whole drinking, singing debacle.
I didn't know it was gonna go that way.
Hey, wasn't your problem, right? You weren't working, so why should it matter if your friends trash the place? It's not like they intended to do that.
That's not really the point, Joey.
Fill me in on what the point is.
Why should I make you listen to my diatribe when you have better things to do? Why're you so insistent that I'm wasting my time with you when every time I approach you, it's been because I wanted to talk? I've had a hard time because I can't figure out who I'm talking to.
Is this Joey my bartending buddy, or Joey with the Worthington elite? That's funny.
I thought there was more of an intimate middle ground.
You learn a lot about people when you see them with their friends.
You see me with my friends in here all the time.
How is this different? Different when your friends flaunt state drinking laws and insult me.
I'm sorry about that, okay? If it makes you feel better, I just got a nasty tongue-lashing from Audrey.
I'd feel better if you would've defended me.
If you had mentally shown up there, that might've been nice.
Eddie, she was drunk.
We deal with those people all of the time.
Right.
Why should I make you feel bad for letting your friend ride out her high-class problems? I should be used to it by now.
My mistake was thinking you were different.
How can you say that when you've barely tried to find out? You're just threatened because I tried to find out more about you.
That's because I was trying to help you- I know what you were trying to do, and I don't think you should bother.
I don't think either of us should, because I've been thinking about it.
And this little dance we do, it's nothing more than that.
It's just flirting.
You don't think there's anything more here? I don't think there's anything good.
- Can I ask you something? - Absolutely.
This isn't your first time, is it? - Am I really that bad? - No.
It's just most guys don't bother with the obligatory foreplay.
Which is greatly appreciated and all, but I'm kind of a sure thing.
Okay, well, I'll do my best to not tend to any of your needs but I can't promise anything.
Seriously, we've been at this for a while now and your friend didn't pay for the night.
Listen, it was a nice thing he was doing.
You should just enjoy.
But I really I can't.
I can't.
I'm sorry.
I don't have to leave.
No.
You absolutely don't have to leave.
You can stay here as long as you like, but I just I can't do this.
I thought you were a beautiful woman I met down in the bar.
And that there was a little something between us.
But there's not.
And that's fine.
But I now have to go talk to someone, so you stay here and I'm really sorry.
You sure David's gonna be okay in there by himself? Said he'd hang around for a half-hour, then call it a night.
I don't know what Jack's problem is, but I'm gonna kick his ass.
Well, luckily David's a very patient man, so You know, I'm just really glad you came out tonight.
I was worried you wouldn't want to.
You keep saying that.
Just because I don't drink doesn't mean I don't socialise.
But you don't date.
No.
You told me once that I should change my mind about myself and I think that you should probably do the same thing.
Jen.
I can't.
I'm sorry, it's It's got nothing to do with you, I promise.
You're You're beautiful, and you're great.
I just really can't.
Okay.
I'm gonna get you a cab home, okay? Okay.
- You gonna be okay? - Yeah.
I'm fine.
Nothing a little sleep and regret won't cure.
- Good night.
- Good night.
I only had a couple of puffs, I swear.
- I don't care if you smoke.
- Well, that's shocking.
Because I thought there was some sort of LoJack system on me and anyone within a mile was gonna chastise me for partaking in any sort of substance.
I wonder if sugar's okay, because I have some SweeTarts in my pocket and I'm not afraid to eat them.
People have been pretty hard on you tonight, haven't they? You know, the funny thing is that it was all great when I was drunk.
That was a super old time.
Now I'm sober and everything's gone to hell.
Your friends were trying to let you know they cared.
Maybe they didn't go about it the right way.
It's not like I'm a drunk, you know.
God, we are in college, for crying out loud.
Doesn't anyone ever have a week that sucks and want to forget about it? Does it make you feel better when you drink? I feel nothing, which is ideal.
- How long you wanna keep that up for? - I don't know.
I don't know.
If you wanna talk or- You don't have to sit with me, really.
You don't have to say that.
If I didn't want to be here, I'd have walked away already.
Okay.
So we'll sit.
I don't wanna talk for a while.
Rich! Hey! Rinaldi! Come here.
- What's your problem? - The trick you just tried to play on me.
You're not morally opposed to ladies of the night, are you? Dude, Witter stuffed a whore! Actually, I didn't, but you keep talking.
Watch how quickly your night ends.
You didn't even do it? You got a problem down there, or have trouble taking off your dress? Is this a joke to you? Because let me tell you, I'm not laughing.
No.
It was my idea of showing you a good time.
Believe me, she didn't come cheap.
I forgot that about you.
It all relates back to money.
You buy your friends, your women, women for your friends.
That way it's clean, easy.
No emotion, right? Let me tell you, Rich.
The only favour I want is take me off your charity list.
- Because you're pathetic, man.
- Honestly, man, I'm not getting it.
A couple of hours with a hot girl you never have to call and what, you play tiddlywinks? I must be real dumb, because it seems like you owe me.
You're right.
I do.
I absolutely do.
How dare you do that to me! I'm really impressed with your moral outrage.
No need to get violent.
When are you gonna realise fighting the good fight's not worth it? Hey, David.
David, I am so sorry.
- I can't believe you're still here.
- You hoping I'd be gone? No.
No.
No.
Of course not.
I'm glad you stayed.
I kept missing my window to get out of there.
- Must have been rough.
- Yeah.
- I'm not being too convincing, am I? - Look, Jack I'm not so naive coming into this that I didn't expect some baggage.
You can't move into a new relationship until you know the old one isn't gonna lurch up from the dead one last time.
So do what you gotta do.
I did.
I mean, I didn't.
I I didn't have to.
You don't have to report to me.
Well, you're right about the baggage.
It's just, you know Before we got into it, I wanted to make sure I was done repeating my mistakes.
And I am.
That works for me.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
Cool.
So why did you even bother sticking around here? Hey, don't think I was waiting for the confused likes of you.
I was having a good time, and you missed a hell of an act.
- Did I? - Yes.
It was one magical night you'll never get back.
So this one's gonna be tough to top.
Well, it's awfully presumptuous to assume we're going out again.
Oh, I see how it is.
I see how it is.
So this is how the other half lives.
What are you doing here? Your little friend left her wallet at the bar last night.
Can't imagine how she forgot it, with the drunken spectacle and the vomiting and all.
- Thanks.
- Wait a second.
Wait, Joey.
Last night I said a lot of things I didn't mean.
Yeah? Like what things? Many things.
It could be that I have some unresolved anger towards society that has nothing to do with you.
That's good.
Yeah, I've been working on that one a while.
It almost resembled an apology.
Well, you know I've been thinking about it all night.
- What's " it"? - This.
Me, you.
It didn't feel good.
What part? The not pursuing it part.
You know, I The pushing away usually comes when there's something to push away from.
Please, Joey, I'd love to get to the point where I can resent you, if you'll only give me the chance.
We can't keep doing this.
- What? - This.
Saying things we don't mean.
Dancing around the subject.
I mean, don't you find it maddening? Well, yeah, but I meant that thing about the resentment.
Okay.
All right, I get what you're talking about.
So, what would you say if you said what you meant? I'd like to go on a date with you.
An actual date.
Without the obstacles of preteen girls and drunken roommates.
What would you say? Well, that I'd like to get to know you, and prove myself wrong.
About? Thinking you represent everything I hate.
I think you just might represent everything I'm missing.
Okay, so it's a date.
See you later, Joey.
SDl Media Group
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