Doctor Who (1963) s06e07 Episode Script

Doctor Who Season 6 The mind robber 2 of 5 Jamie, the Doctor.
Doctor? Zoe.
What's happened? Jamie, Over here.
Zoe? Is that you? Redcoats.
Am I back in my own time? If I am, they'll shoot me down.
Shoot me down like a dog, would you? A McCrimmon never died without a fight yet.
Jamie? Jamie.
Jamie, I'm here.
Where are you? Jamie, can you hear me? Jamie Jamie, Doctor, help.
Somebody help me.
I'm trapped.
Good.
Excellent.
And now the good Doctor, where is he? Look around.
He must be here somewhere.
Find him.
Search.
I see.
He has eluded us for the moment.
So he is not yet completely under my control.
Perhaps it is better this way.
Yes.
He'll soon find out.
Find him.
Search all areas.
Jamie, Zoe Jamie Fight I must fight.
Fight.
Where in time and space am I? Where are the others? Jamie? Zoe? - Doctor.
Hello.
- Jamie, is that you? Jamie.
Doctor.
Zoe? Doctor, I'm trapped.
Help me, please.
All right, Zoe.
Stay where you are and I'll see if I can find you.
Hello? Call out to me.
- Over here.
- Yes, all right, Jamie.
- I'm over here.
- All right, Zoe.
No, no, no.
Not both together.
One at a time.
Now, then, Jamie, you seem to be the nearer.
You first.
Count up to ten.
One, two, three, four Find him.
Search.
Perhaps some light will help.
This is like exploring a maze in the dark.
Well, thank you, whoever you are.
Spread out.
Cover the whole area, "Slowly".
Keep moving.
Look left to right.
Search every inch of the forest.
We know the Doctor is here somewhere.
No sign of him, but he can't be far away.
We'll continue on this course.
Track him down.
Those are your orders.
He must be found.
Jamie.
Zoe.
Parlez-vous français? Do you speak English, by any chance? Sir, my birth was of honest parents in an island called England.
Good gracious me.
Why didn't you say so at once? I've spoken as many languages as I have the least smattering of.
Well, let's start at the beginning again, shall we? What did you say to me? I said, "Beware, false traitor, highwayman, robber, pickpocket, murderer" You must be making some mistake.
Highwayman, indeed.
When were you last in England? We set sail from Bristol on May 4th 1699.
We? What became of my companions I cannot tell.
They were all lost.
My dear sir, you and I are in the same boat.
- You have a stout ship? - Unfortunately, no.
Would you take that pop gun away? It does unsettle me so.
Well, sir, if you can assure me you are no traitor.
How can I be a traitor when I don't even know where I am? Where am I? I cannot tell.
That makes two of us, doesn't it? Thank you.
Listen, I've lost my companions, too.
Two of them, a boy and a girl.
Jamie and Zoe.
- Have you seen them? - Alas, no.
I've got to find them.
Perhaps you could help me if you know your way around.
- It is not permitted.
- Who says so? - The Master.
- The Master? He has articles of impeachment against you for treason and other capital crimes.
Treason again? Really? I leave to your prudence what measures you will take, and now, sir, to avoid suspicion I must retire in as private a manner as I came.
But, sir, don't go.
I wanted to ask you A hallucination? Ah, well.
Jamie.
Zoe.
- Cooee.
- Is that you, Zoe? - Cooee.
- Who's that? Who are you? Well, well, well.
How do you do? - Why did the chicken cross the road? - This isn't the time for riddles.
You must answer.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side, or so I've always been led to believe.
Which is it, the yolk of an egg is white or the yolk of an egg are white? - Neither.
It's yellow.
- How many beans make five? Adam and Eve and Pinch Me went to the river to bathe.
Adam and Eve got drowned.
Who was saved? Well, Pinch Me.
Stop it.
Don't do that.
Now it's my turn to ask you questions.
What can you make of a sword? What can you make of it? - Rearrange it.
Think.
- This is your last chance.
S-W-O-R-D.
Rearrange.
S-W-O-R-D Rearranged it makesW-O-R-D-S.
Words.
It's a dictionary.
Words.
You have answered correctly.
- You may be suitable.
- Suitable? - I do hope so.
- Come on.
It's teatime.
- I'm hungry.
- Race you home.
Words - Doctor, Over here.
- Jamie? Jamie? Is that you? Jamie It's just another trick.
Hello What's this? A safe? Locked, of course.
And a wishing well.
I wish I wish, I believed in wishing wells.
Hello.
This is a puzzle.
That's what it is.
Oh, yes.
I'm beginning to recognise this.
It's sort of picture writing.
Let me see now.
Jamie.
Mist.
Mist without the M or the T.
I-S.
Is.
Hand without the H.
And.
So we have ''Jamieis safe and well.
Now I've lost his face.
Hello.
I see.
I'm supposed to provide the face, am I? Very well.
Now, then.
Yes.
There we are.
Yes, that's his nose all right.
And Yes Oh, no.
I've done it wrong.
Doctor.
I'm glad to see you again.
- But you're not Jamie.
- Eh? What are you on about? Well, your face, it's different.
- What do you mean, different? - Look in the mirror.
- That's not my face.
- It's the one you're stuck with for now.
- Why should I suddenly be different? - I don't know.
It's a nasty trick played by the person who brought us here.
Brought us here? What's happening? I don't know.
Just a minute, if you really are Jamie, you should know what's happened.
How did you get here? Well, you know, was describing my dream with a unicorn.
- Yes.
- He was charging straight for me, head down, ready for the kill, when suddenly everything went crazy and I was off.
Off? Where to? Where have you been? In the fog.
Really.
Ever since the Tardis broke up.
- It did what? - Broke up.
It fell to bits.
The next thing I knew, I was here.
I heard you calling, but couldn't find you.
Jamie, help.
- Zoe, where are you? - I'm trapped.
You must help me.
It sounds as if she's over there.
- Zoe.
- I can't get out.
Help me, please.
There's no handle.
There's no lock either.
Don't you see? It's not a door at all.
It's a brick wall with a door painted on it.
That's crazy.
How do you open a door that isn't a door? Let me think.
What we want is a battering ram.
When is a door not a door? This is no time for riddles.
No, no.
When is a door not a door, hmm? - When it's ajar.
- Eh? Get me out.
Get me out.
Oh, Zoe.
Get me out.
Not unless you promise to be a good girl.
Oh, you Go on.
Get her out.
Come on, then.
Up you come.
One, two, three I thought I was never going to get out of Who are you? Don't you start, Zoe.
I've had enough from the Doctor.
I'm me.
Jamie.
- Why does he look so different? - Well, I'll I'll tell you later.
- It's time we got out of this wood.
- Aye.
This place gives me the creeps.
You go on ahead, Jamie.
- Is that really Jamie? - Well Well, yes.
He couldn't just have changed like that.
It's impossible.
I think we may be in a place where nothing is impossible.
Come on.
Oh, my feet ache.
I'm going to sit down and have a rest.
If only we could see over these trees.
If you give me a leg-up, I'll shin up one.
Good idea.
- Can you manage? - I think so.
It's a bit tricky, but - Nearly there.
- There's a foothold.
I'm at the top.
- Doctor - What is it? Can you see something? I can see all right.
- Do you know what this tree is? - No.
What? It's the letter S.
The next one's an L, and then an O and a W It's a forest of words.
- This must be a world of words.
- What do the words say? Slow but sure, - in for a penny - In for a pound.
They're all sayings, proverbs.
Look before you leap.
- I can't read any more.
- Can you see a way out? I think so Yes.
Yes.
Down you come.
There's a foothold.
Can you manage? Steady.
There.
It's this way.
- Oh, Doctor.
- It's all right.
I've met this gentleman before.
He's a traveller like ourselves.
Delighted to meet you again, sir.
Allow me to present my two companions.
This is Zoe and this is Jamie.
- How do you do, sir? - We're trying to get out of this wood.
This resolution may appear very bold and dangerous.
- But we've got to get away.
- Haven't you ever tried to escape? No.
I looked upon myself to be fully settled for life.
These tests, what's the point of them? In choosing persons for all employments, they have regard to great abilities.
A course of study is required to qualify any man for the service of his country.
But who's in charge here? - Who's setting all these tests for us? - The Master.
The Master again.
I suppose this army of robots works for the Master as well.
Army? As to their military affairs, I knew not what they meant.
- Surely you've seen them.
- I knew not what they meant.
They're coming back.
- What do we do? - We hide among the trees.
There's a J.
There's room for two.
Thank goodness there's a letter C.
Aren't you going to take cover? The best expedient I could think on was to keep guard.
Whatever you do, don't give us away.
I could not forbear smiling, sir.
What you told me is mistaken.
There was no army here.
At last.
Very well.
Round them up and lead them away.
You have your orders.
You know what to do.
- Thank you very much.
- Why did you give us away? But I said there was no army here.
Don't you see? As far as he's concerned, they don't exist.
He can't see them.
I must forbear to trouble you further.
Having answered the only objection you've raised against me, I now take leave of you all.
Wait.
I think they want us to go in the other direction.
Doctor, these soldiers Am I mad, or do they look like toy soldiers? Yes.
Particularly dangerous toys, too.
Come along.
Let's go.
They've stopped.
- Why have they brought us here? - We shall soon find out.
Mission is accomplished.
It's so dark.
I've got a funny sort of a feeling I've been here before.
Listen.
- Sounds like a horse galloping.
- It's getting nearer.
It's coming this way.
It's not a horse.
Look.
- A unicorn.
It's looking at us.
- Keep quite still.
It's coming straight for us.
Run.
We don't stand a chance.
Stand still.
Stand still.