Friends s06e07 Episode Script

Ready? Hi, it's Rachel and Phoebe's.
Please.
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Ieave-- -Leave.
But I just said "Ieave.
" I know because you have all the good words.
What do I get? I get "it's," "and.
" Oh, I'm sorry, I have "a.
" Forget it.
-That's silly.
-All right.
So let's switch.
No, I have all the good words.
Okay, fine, fine.
We can switch.
- Hi.
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everybody.
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it's.
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Rachel.
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and.
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Phoebe's.
Wait.
How did you do that? What? Oh, you're no ordinary roommate, are you? Can we finish this later? I'm going running before it gets dark.
-Why don't you come with me? -Really? It'll be fun! We'll run in the park.
It'll be our roommate-bonding thing.
Okay, let's go running! -There's cute guys there.
-Let's run towards them! Wait just one more second.
Hi, it's Phoebe and Rachel's.
Please leave a message.
Thanks! Wait a minute.
You took all the words! You've met your match, Rachel Greene! The One Where Phoebe Runs Gelula/SDI I just finished this fascinating book.
By the year 2030, there'll be computers.
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that can carry out the same amount of functions as a human brain.
So, theoretically, you could download.
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your thoughts and memories into this computer.
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and live forever as a machine.
And I just realized I can sleep with my eyes open.
Honey, it was a great idea, nailing the boxes to the floor.
-I didn't nail the boxes to the floor.
-So you can move them! And while I'm doing that, Ross has a great computer story for you.
Hey, everybody! I'd like you to meet Janine.
She's gonna be my new roommate! And she's gonna live with me! It's nice to meet you.
Janine.
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? Le Croix.
I didn't know that.
What a pretty last name.
So where are you from? Australia.
I just moved here.
From the land down under? I didn't know that either! So what do you do? -I'm a dancer.
-You're a dancer? She's a dancer! I think I'll go unpack.
Did you interview her before you asked her to move in? Of course! What did you ask her? When can you move in? Thank you for bringing her into our lives.
Unbelievable.
You like her too? Look at all the boxes! I cannot wait to ask her out.
Wait a minute.
You can't.
She's your roommate.
It'll be too complicated.
Yeah, don't do it.
I mean, if you date her, then I can't date her.
Think about it.
Remember when you broke up with Donna.
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how horrible it was when you bumped into her at the supermarket? Oh, God, yeah.
Now imagine you live at the supermarket.
Okay! You're right! I don't want that.
I can't date her.
You'd better watch the flirting too, because it could be trouble.
Well, that's gonna be tough, Mon.
It's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
You're around me all the time, and you don't flirt.
A little sad about that, sweetie? I have to tie my shoes, so you go ahead.
I'll catch up.
Come on, that's not running! Let's go! I'm telling you, when she runs.
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she looks like Kermit the Frog.
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and the Six Million Dollar Man.
Monica had such a crush on him.
She used to kiss his poster every night before she went to bed.
I used to do that too! Did you also have his album, "It's Not Easy Being Green"? Oh, Mon.
So Phoebe runs weird, huh? Yeah.
And I know she'll want to run again.
I don't know how to get out of it.
I mean, I live with her.
Why don't you be straight with her? Tell her the truth.
You're right.
I should just tell her the truth.
Pheebs, Monica tripped me.
I don't think I can ever run again, ever! Why? Why would you do that? I don't know.
Rachel, I'm sorry I hurt your ankles.
Ankle.
We'll see.
Okay.
I am officially unpacked.
Thanks for helping me, man.
Joe? Well, I guess Joey went home.
And look, there is still one box I have to unpack.
I got you! Oh, my God.
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you almost gave me a heart attack.
It was so hard not to laugh.
Hey, the place looks great.
Not bad, right? Monica's working late, so I'm gonna make this place spotless.
You know what else I'll do? I'm gonna go downstairs and get her some flowers.
Who wouldn't want to live with me? I don't.
No, I want to live with the super-hot Australian dancer! How's that going? Are you okay with the not-flirting thing? So far.
But it's tough.
I've got this built-up flirting energy, and I don't know how to get rid of it.
How you doing? Oh, man! Sorry.
There's just more room out here.
No, you just reminded me that I have to do my stretches too.
Why don't you try to be.
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? -What's wrong? -Nothing.
I didn't want you to touch me.
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because I'm all sweaty from the workout.
I'm gonna hit the shower.
Oh, my God! Sorry about that stuff hanging in there.
It's just my thongs are too delicate for the dryer.
Oh, yeah, it's me.
I saw you grab your running shoes this morning and sneak out.
You lied so you could run by yourself.
No, Phoebe, no.
I was.
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I was actually just checking.
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to see.
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if I could run.
And I can! Please, I'm not an idiot.
No, wait.
Phoebe? Wow.
Couples who live together do start to look alike.
So, Mondler.
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What are you doing? What does it look like? I am cleaning.
Did you get Monica's authorization to move all her stuff? I don't need that.
I'll put everything back.
Put it back exactly where you found it? Yes.
I'm gonna put it back exactly where I found it.
First of all, that attitude is not helping.
She won't care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place.
Hello? Did you just meet Monica? She'll recognize that I did a nice thing.
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and appreciate it.
Actually, this will work out well.
Because when you move back with Joey.
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Joey's hot new roommate can come live with me.
Oh, I see.
You're trying to freak me out.
Chandler, Monica is really weird about this kind of stuff, all right? Believe me, I lived with her for Oh, my God.
She's going to sit on you.
No, she is not.
I'll prove it to you.
I'll call her right now.
Phone's done.
-Hey, Mon.
How's it going? -Terrible.
If I want something done right, I have to do it myself.
Other people just wreck stuff.
I think I might kill someone tonight.
Come on, it can't be that bad.
The only thing getting me through.
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is knowing I'll see you soon.
I might even try to get out of here early.
It sounds like they need you there.
-You're just hanging out with Ross? -It's all good! Okay, bye! She's gonna kill me.
The phone was facing the other way.
And that goes back up there.
We should start with the big stuff.
That'll be the easiest.
Let's start with the couch.
I got it.
That doesn't look right.
What are you talking about? The couch is in line with the carpet.
Then I can just walk over here and casually put my feet up on.
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Okay, here's what we do.
We move the couch closer to the coffee table.
But then the back of the couch won't line up with the carpet.
Well, we'll just move the coffee table.
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closer to the couch.
But then the coffee table won't be centered in the seating area.
But the coffee table doesn't match the table! Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting, but I'm drawing her to me like a moth to a flame! What the hell's going on over here? Monica's gonna kill you! I need your help.
I have to do something to repel this woman.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
You guys repel women all the time! Hey, I've been married three times.
No, I've seen it happen.
You get a rapport going with a woman, but somehow you manage to kill it.
What's your secret? We do not repel women, okay? That is completely untrue.
Oh, yes, we do, my man.
Remember when we went to a dance.
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and you walked up to that girl you liked and talked.
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about the lrish potato famine? What about you? You weren't so hot either.
After everything he said, he'd go-- Monica doesn't like that either.
I should stop doing that.
Girls don't like it when I start talking about science.
That's not specific to girls.
This is great.
What else? They don't like you correcting their grammar.
And they don't like it when you explain why your jokes are funny.
They don't like it when you keep asking them if they like you.
-Man, I am so lucky I have Monica.
-I'm never gonna find love again.
-Can I talk to you for a second? -Sure.
Phoebe, I just wanted to say I'm sorry, okay? I handled the situation horribly.
And I should not have lied to you.
So what should you have done? I should have told you the truth.
Which is? Well, the reason I didn't want to go running with you is.
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because.
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the way that you run is just a little.
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-So? -It's embarrassing.
People were looking at us like we were crazy.
-Why do you care? -Because they're people! People you don't know and will never see again.
Yes, but still they are people.
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with eyes.
I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss.
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But okay.
I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you.
Okay.
You're uptight.
What? I am not uptight.
I am not uptight, man.
That's okay.
I'm not judging you.
That's just who you are.
I'm more free, you know.
I run like I did when I was a kid.
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because that's the only way it's fun, you know? Didn't you ever run so fast you thought your legs would fall off.
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Iike when you were running towards the swings or running away from Satan? The neighbor's dog.
Is this in the right place? Who cares? I repel women.
You can't come in here! Ross is naked! I couldn't say I was naked, because she's allowed to see me naked.
Why does anyone have to be naked? Why is Ross naked? I had to show Chandler something.
Naked? I guess I have.
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a "guy" problem.
Is it the same thing Chandler had? We'll get everything squared away, and you can come back later! There's still some of Chandler's medicine in the bathroom.
-Bye.
-Bye! Thank God.
Dude, what'd you have? We have no time, okay? We must focus.
We've got to get everything back into its original place.
The photo album! There were millions of pictures of the apartment in the photo album.
We just match everything to the pictures! That's perfect! That's brilliant! What'd you have? I've got some beer for you.
Don't you mean "for whom"? Sure.
I was gonna order some pizza.
You wanna share one? Pizza? It's not like I never had that before.
Is something wrong? All right, all right.
Let's just get this out in the open, okay? You're hot.
I'm lovable.
Clearly, there's a vibe going on between us.
But we're roommates.
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and it's a huge mistake for us to continue down this road.
Imagine living in a supermarket.
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and you'll understand.
Okay? So the question is, what do we do? There isn't anything to do.
I think you're really sweet.
But I'm not interested in you like that.
No, I mean.
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You're a nice guy, and I'm happy to be your roommate and your friend.
I'm just, you know, I just.
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don't feel that way about you.
I see what happened.
It's because I was trying to repel you.
Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
-I don't think so.
-Oh, I do.
How you doing? I'm okay.
What? What? Oh, dear God! I'm so sorry.
You're right.
This feels great! And you don't care if people stare.
It's only a second.
Then you're gone! It's amazing! I feel so free and so graceful! Watch out for the horse.
Can I come in now? -Why is everything different? -Bye.
I don't see anything different.
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other than the fact that the room got brighter when you came into it.
The end table is wrong, the couch looks bizarre.
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and don't even get me started on the refrigerator magnets.
Okay, don't be mad, okay? After I unpacked the boxes, I wanted to do something nice for you.
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so I cleaned the apartment.
So I moved everything around, and then I forgot.
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where it went back.
I'm sorry, I'm very sorry, I'm sorry.
That's okay.
Are you afraid of me or something? Do you want me to be afraid of you? Of course not.
My gosh, Chandler, what you did is a wonderful thing.
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and I really appreciate it.
I have this thing where I want everything in the perfect place.
But I'd never expect you to worry about that.
Really? Of course.
Oh, you're the best.
You come here to me.
Hold on, okay? First things first.
Did Ross sit anywhere while he was naked? It said that by the year 2030.
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there'll be computers carrying out the same number of functions.
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as an actual human brain.
So, theoretically, you could download your thoughts.
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and your memories into this computer-- And live forever as a machine.
Janine, do you know what we're doing right now? You and l, we're interfacing.
I gotta go.