Gigolos (2011) s06e07 Episode Script

1 Being a gigolo isn't always easy.
I'm very proud to be called a gigolo.
There's nobody out there more competitive than me.
(LAUGHING) I try to break a sweat six days a week.
Well, the Brace philosophy is to really be good to people.
I've had so many women in my life, it's just a blur.
(IMITATING ROOSTER CROWING) I really love women Learning about them, learning what makes them tick.
Holy crap! I consider myself a real feminist.
(MOANS) Being in this business, you have to be a very caring, giving person.
- And I believe in what I'm doing.
- (WOMAN) Awesome.
I was brought up in the Bible Belt, - and I enlisted in the Marine Corps.
- (MOANING) I see life as a gift.
You go balls out and just do it full force.
- It's Vegas, baby.
- Come on! (GIGOLOS EXCLAIMING) (LAUGHING) - (SCREECHING) - (YELLS) - There you go.
- Whoo-hoo! Perfect.
(ROCK) (WOMAN) Hi.
How are you? - Hey.
- Hello.
Anything I can help you find? Yeah.
We're looking for clothes for infants.
For a boy and a girl.
We have our girls on this side.
For infants.
And we actually have our boys on this side over here.
Maybe what we should do, since they're twins, guys - I mean, I hate the, like, matchy thing.
- Matchy.
- But maybe we should do, like, coordinating.
- It coordinates? - We can do that.
We can do coordinates.
- Yeah.
That's kind of cute.
Garren just had babies.
Two twins.
He and his wife.
Super stoked.
Super cute kids.
And we wanted to go and get them both some gifts.
We can do, like, onesies.
- Or, uh - I like that.
Can also do something that's a little bit more kind of edgy.
Yeah, edgy's good.
- We can do something like these.
- Yeah.
Those newborns, they like the edgy.
Although his wife is Columbian.
- She might not - They like bright colors.
Yeah, but a little more conservative, maybe.
- (BRADLEY) Really? - Huh.
- Maybe.
- Do you have any reds and stuff like that? I know they like reds and That's a very You're making a blanket statement about an entire ethnic group.
- (LAUGHING) - I'm just trying to make everybody happy.
- Yeah, I do think bright colors, though.
- Like the red color.
Is that Latin enough for you right there? How about that? - Oh, my God, that's a little tiny thing.
- There you go.
That is so cute.
We'll make a miniature sombrero that goes with it.
- Yeah! - Sombrero? They're Columbian! - They're not Mexican.
- I know.
He was talking about that.
- But isn't it kind of - No.
(BRACE) You know, whenever I've gone to South America, all I know is, like, if I stay in a nice hotel, whatever, it's always red Bright reds And everything's always, br you know, re you know - La la la-la.
- Oh, my God.
Oh, once again, Brace's geographic skills They just impress.
Columbia is Mexico.
Yeah.
(VIN) Okay, so what are we What are we thinking, guys? - Bradley, it's an infant.
- It's a little backpack.
- It doesn't need a backpack.
- I know, but it looks cool.
Why not? They may wanna carry shit around or something.
- Where are they gonna drag that to? - (LAUGHING) They can't even drag themselves across the floor yet.
You know, for a long time, I was pretty sure that I didn't wanna have kids.
But I think with age and a little bit of financial stability, you start thinking about it.
So, maybe I'm softening up to the idea.
- So, we've got those.
- So, that's two outfits there.
(BRACE) Do we wanna get 'em some cologne or anything like that - to cover up that poopity smell? - (VIN LAUGHING) Do they make that yet? Now that Garren has kids, I can't help but think, you know, what am I giving up to do this gig thing? Either one could wear this too.
Of course I think about what it'd be like to have my own kids.
I think about it all the time.
I mean, I love my life, but with everything, uh, all successes, y-you have to sacrifice.
All right, guys.
Who's paying for this? - (BRADLEY) Brace.
- (VIN) Brace.
(BRACE MUTTERING) - Is he pulling his bathroom thing now? - Times are tough.
Is it time for you to find a restroom now, now that the bill - Yeah, I think - Just like in the club.
Probably a hundred times we've been in a club, and as soon as the bill comes, Brace has to go to the bathroom.
I think he's got, like, a a Spidey sense.
Now, why do you say that? I don't remember I don't do that.
Well, whenever we're in the club, and the bill's coming, - you conveniently have to pee.
- That's bullshit.
Brace is just a cheap son of a bitch.
That's pretty much what it comes down to.
(LAUGHING) I think you guys are talking shit.
- (MUTTERS) - I think you're right.
(ELECTRONICA) - Hi.
Veronica? - Yep.
- How ya doin'? - Good.
How are you? Come on over.
You want something to drink? Uh, please.
- You have, like, a vodka soda? - Sure.
My name's Veronica.
I'm 30.
I'm a deejay from Los Angeles.
And I've been single for a while.
So tell me a little bit about yourself.
I was gonna ask you the same thing.
- Ask me the same thing? - Yeah.
I'm from L.
A.
Well, basically, mainly Santa Barbara.
- I'm a deejay.
- You're a deejay.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
That's cool.
Uh I've played some of your stuff before.
- Really? Awesome.
- Yeah.
I've been a deejay since 2004.
I love it because I get to be part of the music, you know? Not being so much of an artist per se.
I get to vicariously live through the music I spin.
So, you're really passionate about music as well.
Way too passionate.
It's my life.
I'm gonna kick my boots off real quick.
Yeah, take those motherfucking snake killers off.
I went on Cowboys 4 Angels, and I found Nick Hawk, and I figured he would be the one to go to, especially since he's always in the mix with music.
- Have you got a gigolo before? - No.
- No? - No.
Yeah.
I figured might as well go pro.
There's no love in L.
A.
Everybody's trying to get somewhere.
Everybody's trying to get what they can from you, and I'm not about that life.
I like I like the purple hair.
I approve.
- Purple hair don't care.
- I love it.
So, I just decided to hire Nick.
(CHUCKLING) Okay, so, I'm 30 now.
I haven't done anything to hone in the whole dirty 30s-type situation.
So, why not get Hawked? Oh, yes.
"Get Hawked"? - Yeah? - Yeah.
I like that.
I kind of go for the alpha male-type people.
You seem kind of like the ultimate alpha male, so In the past, I've dated people like Nick.
Very, like, alpha male guys.
Just the ultimate, like, men men, you know? I just I need that.
(NICK) I am the alpha male.
A lot of the time, the client wants me to take control of a situation.
And I'm a fucking man, and that's what men do.
Okay.
There we go.
Nick made me feel comfortable and confident.
Mm-hmm! Yeah? The other one? Ahh! Oh, that was a good one.
(CHUCKLING) I just like everything about him.
(MOANING) His body, his tattoos.
He's like art with a good package.
Was that a slap? You know, being a little rough is okay, but I keep getting beat the crap out of.
(SLAP LANDS) (CHUCKLES) I don't really know what the fuck's going on with all these abusive encounters I've had lately.
Twice It's just me.
Exactly.
That's all right.
(LAUGHING, MUTTERING) It's all right.
It's just me.
- It's cool.
It's all right.
- It's okay.
You need to be.
I need to be? You cocky son of a bitch.
(GRUNTS) (LAUGHING) I'm all for women empowerment, but I've been getting my ass kicked a little too much.
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Aw, shit.
(CHUCKLING) Hiring a gigolo helps me bring sexy back.
(GRUNTS) (SQUEALING) (MOANING LOUDLY) (EXHALES) (CHUCKLING) (SIGHING) I would recommend to hire a gigolo.
Thank you.
Why not? It's no strings attached.
Might as well have fun.
(NICK LAUGHING) (ROCK) - (VIN) Cheers.
- (WOMAN) Cheers.
The accent.
I'm hearing it.
- I'm from Alabama.
- Alabama.
Yeah.
I'm glad you didn't make me guess.
My name is Trinity.
I'm 38 years old.
I'm from Alabama.
What made you decide to come all the way out here? I live in a small town, and there's, like, no guys there.
What do you mean, there's no guys there? It's an all-female town? No.
I mean, like, there's no good guys.
They, uh, just want a girlfriend on the side.
Their, you know Side chick.
And I was a side chick for forever.
The reason I picked Vin is he seemed like he was more in tune to romance and listening to woman and their needs.
So I thought he would be good for me.
- I dated a guy in the military.
- Okay.
- And I was engaged to him.
- Oh, wow.
And he wanted to have a baby, and I had a baby by him.
And he went overseas.
I was four months pregnant.
And he, um, found someone on Facebook.
And he just, like, broke up with me on Yahoo! Chat.
While he was over there? Yeah.
And on his leave, he married her.
He's never seen our child, and he's almost five.
It's a shame that people don't really have relationship skills.
And I'm reminded constantly of what a blessing it is that I actually don't put women in the situations that so many men do just out of ignorance.
You seem like you really like women, and you're really in tune to what I need.
What do you need? Let's talk about that.
I need somebody to show me a little romance, and not be the side chick.
Vin is very attentive and so sweet.
He listened to everything I had to say.
I think you're perfect.
Well, I'm far - (CHUCKLING) - Sweetheart, I'm far from perfect.
You don't get that special attention with men where we're from.
I'm tired of being the side woman.
I wanna be number one.
I've never had that romantic fantasy, and I want it.
You're making me blush.
- Am I? - You are.
I can probably do more to make you blush.
- Oh, really? - I could.
Why don't you come here? On that note, you wanna get outta here? - Sure.
- Yeah? - Sounds great.
- Okay.
I actually do get quite a few women as clients who are "side chicks," who don't have the sort of long-lasting, committed relationship.
But it's awesome that Trinity has decided she's not gonna settle, she's not gonna be the side chick anymore.
And, honestly, when we make that decision, it's pretty easy to find people who will support us and help us on our journey, and I'm glad that I can help her.
- Being romantic - (MOANS) is different for every woman, and getting the vibe of what a woman wants is part of the art of a gigolo.
I feel great about being able to give Trinity the romantic experience that she was really looking for.
(BREATHING HEAVILY) (MOANING) (EXHALES) Oh, my God.
It was a great experience to be wined and dined and listened to and be treated like a woman.
I actually felt like number one.
Vin made me feel great.
It's been a little while, huh? Yeah.
(ROCK) So, tell me, do you do a lot of travel? Most of it's here.
I travel as well.
So, some of this is in your place, - and some of this is at their place? - Usually hotels.
- Usually hotels.
Okay.
- Sometimes their place.
One of the downsides to this business is that there's no retirement plan or 401(K).
Insurance is based on, like, what you're earning.
So, has your earnings gone up or down, or has it been level? Uh, they've They've gone up every year.
All right.
I have other investments, and I have money put away in other areas.
But if something happens, you have to be ready.
Well, it's a (SIGHS) This is This is hard for me.
It's a little awkward for me to ask these kind of questions.
So, right now, I'm discussing something important.
Cock insurance.
It's gonna be based upon your earning potential with it.
Do you, um How often are you engaged (CHUCKLES) in this activity? Um, eight to ten times a month.
- Eight to ten times a month? Okay.
- Yeah.
- Have you ever gotten hurt? - I haven't, but there's been some close calls, I think.
Okay.
I have a lot of, uh, - clients who get, uh, wild.
- Okay.
And sometimes the clients aren't, you know, super experienced, so they don't always know what they're doing.
If, um, someone's on top of me, and it's it's going crazy, and it slips out, - and she hammers down on it - (CLAPS) I've looked up, you know, penis fractures before Okay.
and it it sounds pretty serious.
I've been telling Garren about some of these abusive encounters I've had lately.
And one little slip-up can fuck up your whole career.
How do you feel about insuring it for a million dollars? Probably the the right number, right? Well, it it can be.
We'll just have to see what comes back.
Does it include the entire package The balls as well, or is it just - We're insuring everything down there.
- Okay.
Non-sex related too.
- Car accident, zipper injury - Okay.
That's a concern.
Um It would cover anything that would keep you from performing - Okay.
- The the the tasks of your occupation.
Okay.
Good.
Is it okay if I take a picture for - To send it, like, to underwriters? - That's all right.
I've had pictures taken of it before.
That's all right.
Is it okay if we do that here, 'cause it's, like, really quiet? Okay.
Let's do that, then.
I named my cock after my favorite wrestler of all time The Ultimate Warrior.
Luckily, he survived longer than the original Ultimate Warrior.
All right.
Got your phone? And I think he's prone to more injuries.
So I think it's probably a good idea to get insurance.
Here you go.
I'll I'm here.
I'm witnessing.
There's plenty of pictures online already, but Gonna get one more.
- Just tell me when you're done.
- (CHUCKLING) All right.
Thank you.
Not my first time doing a cock selfie.
That's for sure.
I have the information I need.
Okay.
This is just an authorization to release your information so we can get them to consider you.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- All right.
We all set, then? - All right.
- Thanks again.
Nice meeting you.
- Nice meeting you.
- Thanks a lot.
- Be well.
(POP) (KNOCKING) Come on in, sweetie.
I'm Angie.
Brace.
Nice to meet you.
Brace, this is Angie.
Hi, baby.
- What's up? Good to see you.
- How are you? My name is Jennifer.
I'm an entertainer.
A choreographer, director, and a producer.
And Brace and I have been seeing each other for about four months, on and off.
It's gonna be a good time.
We have a guest with us, obviously, as you see.
Wait.
Are you trying to lay down a threesome or something? Um, possibly.
We'll see how the night goes.
(LAUGHING) I met Brace a few years ago, actually, at a night club here in Las Vegas.
We kept in contact, and here we are, dating.
(LAUGHING) We do vagazzling and penazzling.
We call it "Mm-hmm, yes.
" What the hell is vagazzle-bedazzle? (LAUGHING) We're gonna bling your thing, boo.
You're gonna bling my thing? Yeah.
Wait a second.
(LAUGHING) Jennifer's really cool.
She's a She's a really nice woman, and, uh, she's always inviting me out, and, you know, we have a good chemistry together.
She, uh, like all women, wants to, uh, take it a little deeper.
All these fun things to, like, spark up our little relationship.
I get it.
Need to keep the spark alive.
(WHISPERS) The spark alive.
Well (PURRING) Dating a gigolo Let's see.
Um, it's difficult.
(CHUCKLES) I got the onesie on today.
Ooh.
Ooh, yeah, baby.
Yeah.
Let me Ooh.
That's awesome.
See? How about I get up under there and kind of just unsnap it? That's what you gotta do, you know? It's a hard job, but somebody's gotta do it.
Ooh.
It's a good thing you didn't have pubes, 'cause I might've pulled one or two.
I know.
Right? We're gonna have to have you bend over, do some things here so she can bling up your butt.
Brace and I have a very, um, open and honest relationship.
And I understand what he does for a living.
I just love the way it glitters.
My ass or the glitter? Everything.
A job is a job, as long as you can come home with integrity, honesty.
And if you can have those values, anything can happen.
See? Am I not a fun girlfriend? You are the (SCOFFS LOUDLY) - You're a bomb girlfriend.
Hello.
- Okay.
Make it straight.
We come across, um, some mountains every once in a while in our relationship in terms of just kind of how we deal with each other and things like that.
And he's a gentleman, in and out.
Let's do Brace.
- Oh, yeah.
- I don't know if I'm ready for that.
Jennifer (SIGHS) She just wants a man around the house.
This is, like, every woman's, like, fantasy That her husband or boyfriend (CHUCKLES) She's dropping big words.
You know, subconsciously, women they all want that.
And some of them blurt it out, not even meaning to do it, but it's on their mind.
This is like a fun date night.
They all want a good husband, and and I don't blame them.
But when I hear that, it kind of makes me want to run, especially when I'm not thinking that about anybody.
- This is just a happy party is what it is.
- Let me look.
It's so fun.
It's like arts and crafts.
My penazzling session with Jennifer was almost like a prelude to where Jennifer really wants to go.
I mean, she wants to decorate my lower level.
The next thing you know, she's gonna wanna decorate my bathroom.
And then it moves over to the living room.
And then it moves over to the new house that she wants me to build for her 'cause mine's just not big enough.
Ooh, that is so hot.
(MOANS) (LAUGHING) Okay, that's my cue.
I'm out.
Jennifer wants to have a full-on relationship.
(BOTH LAUGHING) She's a pretty girl.
She's really nice.
She's funny.
She's talented.
And I really like her a lot and everything, but I just don't know if I can commit to somebody like that right now.
Mm, looks like you're feeling kind of perky.
(LAUGHING) (MUTTERS) (LAUGHS, SQUEALS) Mmm.
I don't wanna lead somebody on.
I'm I'm way above that.
I don't wanna lead her on.
I don't wanna do that to anybody anymore.
I did it enough when I was younger, and I don't wanna do it again.
You're a beautiful woman, and you just You know, you're You're emotional.
I know, and I It just You know, everybody thinks they can take it, but most people can't, and that's why it's such a problem.
Jennifer does have a problem dating a gigolo.
Well, what What are we gonna do, huh? Do I see a future with Mr.
Brace? Hmm? Um, we're having fun.
He's a great guy.
Fun to talk to.
I don't know.
I'm gonna leave the ball in his court right now.
You're such a sexy woman.
I don't know.
That's what I keep asking myself.
What am I gonna do with you? (ROCK) Here we go (MAN) Vin Armani will be reading excerpts from his book, Tao of the Gigolo.
Let's clap and shit.
Go get 'em, Vin.
Kill 'em.
Thank you.
I wrote a book called Tao of the Gigolo.
This first section is called "Gigolo.
" The word "Tao" is a Chinese word meaning way.
It's the path that an artist or a craftsman, or anyone who's learning a skill, pursues.
And so, Tao of the Gigolo is the spiritual path that I've taken on my journey through gigolodom.
"A gigolo is a practitioner of the art of love.
"The path is not by any means easy.
"One might even argue that the pursuit of the art of love in general, "and the art of seduction in particular, "is a sure path to pain.
The path to being a gigolo has no end.
" It's always difficult to get up in front of people and express yourself.
So, I'm so glad that my buddies, who, honestly, portions of the book were inspired by, have showed up to listen to me read.
"A gigolo primarily appreciates aspects of a woman's heart and her character.
"When you unlock the beauty in a woman's heart, "if your heart is also open, "you have gained knowledge and wisdom from that experience that can never be taken from you.
" That's beautiful.
(LAUGHING, MUTTERING) It's really good.
- Do you have a question? - Yeah.
I don't think it's ever something that you could choose.
If you're the type of person who would choose to pursue this, you're probably not the type of person who should be doing it.
(ASH) I got a question for you.
You think a gigolo can ever settle down? If it's a practice to be a seducer, and you're opening up your heart to everybody, - can you belong to one person? - Can't give 'em 100%.
- Do you think it's possible? - No.
Do you think that after doing this as a profession Do you think that scars you for, you know, for women later on in life as relationships? - It'll scar you like it scars Brace.
- Yeah.
(VIN, ASH LAUGHING) To do this for a living, or do it for a long time or whatever, it scars me a little bit, because it basically gives me a bad attitude about really having a relationship, and it skews my whole view of women.
So it does, you know, scar you a little bit as far as your outlook on love and and children, and this fairy tale, you know, relationship stuff.
When you dropped off a piece of your heart to all these women, - there's no heart left.
- Exactly.
- You're heartless.
- Doesn't that complicate things? For me, it definitely changes things, right? There becomes a certain expectation.
I have used the analogy of a chef before.
When he's at work, he goes in and he makes these beautiful plates of food.
When he comes home, he he may, from time to time, really put it on for the woman that he lives with, but they might not be as elaborate as the things that he's cooking in the restaurant.
Well, you know, then that can That can be difficult, yeah.
So, what you're what you're saying is, if if someone is If you're a c If you're married to a cook, - he doesn't wanna come home and cook anymore.
- A chef.
A chef.
A chef.
- Is that what you're saying? - Yes.
It's obviously a hard thing to be honest with a woman about, especially one that you fall in love with.
I think it's very hard, uh, and it's really selfish to be a full-time gig, and then have a full-time serious relationship with a woman.
I would feel like I was abusing them in some way, shape, or form, and I I don't wanna carry that with me.
But there's still that little part of me that wonders what it would be like to really have a lifelong relationship.
I'm conflicted, you know? How many times have we all been heartbroken from something we've lost because of this, and then - There he goes.
Don't make Brace cry.
- There you go.
Are there any more questions? (LAUGHS) It's getting very emotional over in this section.
Poor Brace.
You know, we have one of the greatest jobs in the world, but we have one of the toughest jobs in the world as well.
And if you can't stay focused and positive, it'll kick your ass.
Well, thank you, guys, very much.
- I need a drink now.
- Yeah? Yeah.
(LAUGHING) Let's go get a drink.