Offspring (2010) s06e07 Episode Script

1 Firstly she didn't want to get married because she thought it would kill our sexual Mardi Gras.
Now the sex is dead, so let's get married! I mean, I'm We're arguing a lot.
About everything.
We even argue about how to argue.
I'm pregnant.
Do you know what you want to do? No.
Well, then we'll figure that out together.
Are you interested in working with me? Are you offering me a job on the spot? Well, does it matter to you what I think of you? Yes.
Shall I tell you what I think of you? No.
Why did you never offer to give me an egg? Billie, if I donated an egg to you You don't need to give me anything.
When we were married Patrick had some of his sperm frozen.
I thought it was only fair if I offer it to you, so you can have another child, if you wanted.
Offspring 6x07 "Just Keep Swimming" Aug 24, 2016 [Nina.]
You seem fine by yourself.
You don't need a sibling.
But do I keep the sperm just in case? What would your Dad have wanted? - Nina.
- No.
Patrick.
I wish Jodie had never called me.
I I wish she'd just got rid of the sperm and never told me.
I'm sorry.
What do you want me to do with them? It's up to you, I guess.
Although not keeping it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
Would it? - Hey.
- There's a rose here.
Yeah.
[Zoe.]
Rose.
I want to show you something.
Don't do this, Nina.
Don't imagine this.
I have to decide.
Maybe Zoe should have a sibling.
It's not like you're in a relationship at the moment.
- You don't know that.
- I do.
Well I'm the one who has to explain to any future partner that I've kept the sperm of the dead love of my life.
You don't need to explain anything to anyone if you don't want.
- And you might not even use them.
- That's true.
But you might.
Either way, it's best if you keep them.
Maybe you're right.
And who knows? If you do keep them, life could be so much more fun.
[Patrick.]
Hello.
[Zoe huffing.]
[Nina.]
You're doing it again.
This is a fantasy family that could never happen.
Never.
[Zoe indistinctly talking.]
What happened to living in the real world, Nina? ["When We Swam" playing.]
Oh why, oh why, oh why? Won't you sing? Bring your hips to me Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh, bring your hips to me To me Oh, bring your hips to me Oh, bring your hips Oh, oh, bring your hips to me To me To me Oh why, oh why? Oh why? Won't you sing? [elevator dings.]
What about Korean baths? - What? - For the buck's night.
They come to your house and walk all over your back.
Look.
- All right, paintball.
- No.
- Your 9 o'clock's running late.
- Fencing camp.
Someone from Grey Street Fertility Clinic called.
- Oh! - Are you still looking Meatfest Barbecue.
Try eight different animals on your barbecue.
- Because if had this idea - What about wrestling? Wrestling, eh? Martin, we don't have to do anything too - out there - Jungle drumming.
- Martin? - Mm? Think about what you want.
Forget about what everyone else wants to do.
Night of the Apocalypse.
- What did you just say? - Dark night of the Apocalypse, when zombies, demons, and chainsaw murderers rise up to destroy humanity.
We drop you and your mates in ground zero.
For the survivors who make it out, your reward is a keg of your favourite craft beer.
Oh no, I don't think - Give me that.
- Apparently they pick you up, in costume, drop you there and just leave you for dead.
Ah, this.
Nina.
Nina, this.
This is the perfect buck's night.
Wow, so jealous.
Can I come? [zombie noises.]
[Elvis exclaims in excitement.]
- Make sure he's on the list.
- Oh, yes.
- [Clegg making zombie noises.]
- [Nina shudders.]
There are too many 30-something white males.
Good morning, Billie.
I've been going through the last year of successful recruits.
They look the same.
Yes.
- You don't find that disturbing? - Of course I do.
Well, here we are in the perfect position to change it.
I try, Billie.
I always send what I call challenger candidates, I lobby HR managers, but in the end, people are going to hire who they want.
- I don't think they know they're doing it.
- How can they not? Look up 'unconscious bias'.
[tuts.]
Look, I know it's frustrating but we can lead the employers to water, you know? [table banging.]
Don't think about the sperm.
This is about eggs for Billie.
Judging by your cycle, you'd need to start the hormone injections right away.
Okay? Right.
Um, yes.
Fine.
- So the eggs would be for Billie? - Yes.
But I just want to check that my eggs are viable before I talk to her.
So you've never talked about doing this before? No.
I don't know why.
Probably because it can affect your own fertility.
You're going to ask me if I've completed my own family.
I have to.
Well, yes.
But if that changes, I I think it's a good idea to freeze some eggs anyway.
- Just in case.
- We can do that, yes.
Then I'll just let Billie casually know there are some eggs if she wants them.
Now there's some side effects you probably know about.
Hormone levels and so on.
Yeah, basically it's a little more intense than premenstrual symptoms.
Some women describe it as feeling like a werewolf.
It will make you extremely fertile and easily aroused.
So an angry, horny werewolf.
Exactly.
So keep away from any unwanted men.
Uh You've started your treatment.
Angry, horny.
- Stay away from unwanted men.
- [elevator dings.]
Nina.
Hello.
Harry.
Hello.
What are you doing here? Uh, I have a debrief to go to.
Lucky you.
- And I was hoping to run into you.
- Oh.
Mm.
Would you like to grab dinner sometime? - Who with? - Me.
Just you? Just me, and you.
What, are you asking me out? Yes.
Now that our professional relationship is over.
On a date? A date.
Maybe on Saturday night.
Yes, maybe I No, bad timing, Harry.
Well, that's Martin's buck's night.
Oh, maybe next week then? Oh God, why not? He's gorgeous.
Sane.
Confident.
Say yes.
Well, that sounds Actually don't.
You can't trust your body.
You're all sex and fury.
not actually.
- What? - I think we should probably just not.
Sorry.
Okay.
Uh all right, I'll, um see you then.
Good choice.
Your body is not your own, Nina.
It's Billie's.
- Hello.
- Hello.
Best man.
Is everything all right? I lodged the intention to marry form last month.
- Okay.
- On it was a question which, if answered in the affirmative would deny you the privilege of getting married.
- What was that? - "Are you currently married?" - And what did you answer? - No.
Of course you did.
- So - But I lied.
What? I lied.
Because I am, in fact, currently married.
What do you mean, you're married? - Have I not mentioned this before? - No.
I've just broken the law by not declaring it.
Martin, this is where is she? Who is she? - Oh God, what've I done? - What have you done? Brief and to the point.
It was many years ago.
I was new to this country.
I met Justine.
She was the secret lesbian daughter of an ultra-conservative farmer whose cruel ultimatum forced her hand to marry a man, me, or lose the farm! Oh my God.
That's what I said.
But we realised our mutual need to get married.
I for citizenship, she for inheritance.
- Martin! - Nina, I lied on a form! - Martin! - Yes? You have to find this woman and get it annulled.
I hadn't thought of that.
Right.
[sighs.]
I have to go out for an appointment.
For Brody.
- Okay.
- She's pregnant.
I'm not really sure why you're telling me that.
I want her to have a future, you know? Have opportunities.
- Of course.
- Can I cook you dinner tonight? Dinner? I think you should come over and we should talk about the future.
Sure, why not? Oh, there you are.
I've been looking for you.
- [sighs.]
- What are you doing out here? Nothing.
I was just checking something.
What are you checking? No, it's it's all fine.
- Okay.
- What's wrong? You've got an ultrasound with Brody in five minutes.
Ah, yes, thanks.
- Is that Brody Brody? - Yes.
That's right.
Okay, thanks, Kim.
Oh, hi.
Hello again.
- Hi.
- [Kim clears throat.]
Look, Harry.
I'm I'm sorry about before.
That was a bit blunt of me, to say no like that.
It's fine.
Really.
If you don't see us like that, it's best to be honest.
Well, I I don't absolutely not see us like that.
I should explain.
[Harry scoffs.]
My body is my sister's.
What? It's not mine.
At the moment.
I I can't go into too much detail because I haven't even told her yet.
Right.
But I want you to know that I would potentially like to do that with you.
So you're saying no, but I should possibly ask again? Yep.
Oh, Nina, you were waiting up there for ages.
Oh, no, I wasn't.
Anyway, I needed to ask, how many bookings for the bucks? Because we need to pay for ten people, unless there's more.
- Will there be more? - Um, no.
[scoffs.]
Oh, do you want to come to Martin's buck's night? Sure.
Why not.
Great.
- Seven.
- Seven.
Awesome.
[Nina.]
Okay! Um, well, I'll see you later.
You've got my number.
- Yeah, yep, I do.
Thank you, Harry.
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye.
Sorry, Brody.
Hi, Billie.
Who was that? - How are we? - Almost done.
- Nina? - I don't know.
Did that handsome tree of a man ask you out? What? No.
He did.
You're over-blinking.
Billie, now is not the time to discuss this.
- What're you going to say? - It's not just that.
- What? - It's not as simple as that.
- Just tell m quickly.
- [Kim.]
Okay, that's it.
Oh, good, here we go.
- Come with me.
- Pause button.
Now, let's just get a measurement, so we can date the pregnancy.
Yep.
Right, here we go.
There we are.
Big healthy, strong baby.
- Big? - Good big? Yes, big is good.
- Robust.
- Is that the heart? [heart beating.]
Yeah, that's it, beating away strongly.
- Big and strong.
- Why do you keep saying big? Brody, it appears to me that you might be a little further along than you thought.
What? The impression that I'm getting is that you're 25 weeks pregnant.
What does that mean? Nothing worrying at all.
Apart from the fact that this little boy or girl is coming much sooner than you thought.
So, do I still have a choice about having it? No.
No, you're well past that point.
[sighs and sniffles.]
I'll talk to her.
What's up? Is it after school? - Yeah, 3.
30.
- Oh God, I thought it was midday.
Hey, guess what? This little fella is a genius.
Elena at kindy thinks he might be gifted.
I haven't noticed anything.
Well maybe it's too early to tell, but look at what he wrote.
Where did you learn how to do letters, little man? I hide and draw when you and Daddy fight.
Anyway, apparently, there are options if we want to go down that path, so I have to go to Nina's office to study.
Oh, yeah.
All righty.
What are they? Toes.
Yeah, that's like so much more detailed than feet.
I would've said feet.
Gosh, you're clever.
[sighs.]
Twenty-five weeks.
I can't do this Billie.
I don't think I can.
It's normal to feel nervous.
- And that was the first time you saw it.
- It's okay for you.
You're not the one pushing it out.
You don't even know what it's like to be pregnant.
It's gross.
I don't want it, Billie.
I just want it gone, but now I've got no choice.
It's a lot to take in.
- I know how you feel.
- You don't.
I do.
I don't have kids, but it doesn't mean I haven't been pregnant.
I don't want to end up like my mom, Billie.
She used to say that I came along and ruined her life.
Then I was taken away from her.
The same thing is going to happen all over again.
You're not your mother.
You are surrounded by people who love you, and can support you.
Your mom didn't have that.
Your baby's coming.
We'll figure it out.
It's gonna be okay.
[sniffles.]
[Zara.]
That's the best you can do? [Kim.]
You haven't organised anything.
Kim, why don't you tell Nina what you've organised for the hen's night? Pizza and a DVD at my place.
Oh, right.
[chuckles.]
Kim, I think Cherie's probably expecting a more genuine event.
‘Cause the marriage is so genuine? - [Nina.]
What? - [Kim.]
It's a farce.
- We all know it's a farce.
- Do we? Why marry someone you're not having sex with? It's ridiculous.
What sort of marriage is that gonna be? What sort of message is it sending the kids? I don't think the kids know that they're not having sex.
It doesn't matter what you think.
You have to Organise it.
You organise if you think it should be bigger.
I don't have the time.
[scoffs.]
And I do? Yeah, I do.
I've got so much time.
Just dripping off me.
Look, dripping.
- Off me.
Everywhere.
Off my face.
- Fine! Don't do anything! Leave it with me.
[growls.]
Whoa.
- Did you hear that? - What? Some.
Actually all of it.
- Nice, Kim.
- Oh, shut your stupid doctor face.
Here you go.
[phone ringing.]
How's Brody? She's pretty nervous, Neens.
- You're so great with her, Billie.
- Nina.
Nina.
Now you can tell me about that thing you were going to tell me about.
Pardon? Oh, it's not really a phone thing.
I don't mind.
You have to tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me.
Tell me.
Okay.
Do you remember Jodie? Jodie as in Patrick's ex-wife, Jodie? She came to see me and she told me that Patrick had left some Sorry Billie, I'll have to go.
- No.
No.
- I'll call you back.
I'm sorry.
I found her.
- Who? - My wife.
Oh! Oh, that's great.
A tremendous weight has been lifted.
I'm going to pop out to her farm, get her to sign those papers, and then crack on with marrying the woman of my dreams.
Yes.
That's that's wonderful, Martin.
What a relief.
You don't, uh, seem quite as happy as I expected you to be.
Is everything - is everything all right? - Oh.
Um, yes.
The phone call.
I couldn't help but overhearing you mentioning Patrick's name.
[Nina.]
Can I tell him? No, I better not.
Aha, I know.
You're concerned that I might not be able to make it back - in time for the buck's night.
- What? No, that's oh, yes.
- Would you like me to cancel? - No! No no no no no.
I can be out there and back in town with two hours to spare.
But an early start means an early night, so goodnight.
- Goodnight.
- Oh, and uh I'll see you at the undisclosed location.
[Clegg exclaiming in excitement.]
Nina, yes to be honest, my opposition to the wedding wasn't so much about Clegg and Cherie but more Jess pointed out that our sex hasn't been that existent lately, so maybe that's what it was.
All right.
Well, I'm sure Cherie would be very understanding of that.
Perhaps you should be telling her.
I will.
Then I'm going to pamper the shit out of her.
- What? - For the hens.
I've booked the penthouse at the Park Hyatt.
I'm going to bring every scrub, cleanser, toner, moisturiser, champagne.
I'm going to paint her nails.
I'm going to rub her hair.
Going to smear her face.
So many products.
She's going to be so relaxed, like a sleeping monk in a spa bath.
You seem very determined.
Oh, I am.
I am.
I just don't get the whole random hook-up thing.
I mean, I want to be good at it, but I seem to get worse and worse.
[scoffs.]
Zoe's asleep.
Oh, you're the best.
Brody, Kerry.
Kerry, Brody.
- Hello.
I have heard so much about you.
- Oh What have you heard? - Only good things.
- Yes, only good things.
- [nervous chuckle.]
- [knock at door.]
- I'll get it.
- Thank you.
Maybe we could be active in offering opportunities to all recruits, not just the 30-something white guys.
- Hello.
- Hey, Brody, how're you doing? [Kerry.]
If you think of anything [Brody.]
Come in.
Thank you.
[door shutting.]
Ah, hello.
Here's a white guy now.
That makes me feel like I've just been cast as the enemy.
Will Bowen, Kerry Green.
Kerry Green, Will Bowen.
Hello, enemy.
Let's not be enemies so soon.
[chuckles.]
- Wine? - Please.
[wine glass clinking.]
[sighs.]
You're not thinking about resumes, credentials? - Okay, sure.
- Educated.
- Okay, think about it like this.
- Okay.
Who's got the best CV? Shreya.
Who'll do the best job? Shreya.
Who are they going to hire? Alan.
So you're saying that they're all racist, sexist bigots.
No, not all.
Hey, if you're bored, don't feel like you have to stay.
I'm fine.
People hire people who remind them of themselves.
Well, look at you two.
What? Talk about hiring people that remind you of yourself - That's a risky thing to say.
- Well It's kind of true, though.
I looked at you and I thought, I get her, I like her, I want to work with her.
- More wine? - Now, that's a solution.
More wine is always the solution.
[wine pouring in glass.]
Yeah, like if you go to the same school together.
- Exactly.
- [Billie.]
Yeah, or like buying a house.
People walk into a house and they can imagine living there.
What they don't realise is that house has been styled to make them feel that, which is exactly what I'm going to do with our recruits.
When I figure out how.
Cheers to that.
Cheers to that.
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
[everybody laughs.]
[Nina.]
Werewolf injection number three.
- [knock at door.]
- [Nina sighs.]
Eggs, Nina? - What are you doing? - Nothing.
I was just plucking.
Thought I found a hair.
High pubic.
But false alarm.
It was just a stray eyelash.
Which is good.
- Do you want eggs? - Yep.
Great.
I've got news.
[door shuts.]
[Nina.]
You've got news.
So, we got the house.
- You did? Oh, Billie, that's wonderful.
- [giggles.]
I'm so happy.
I'm sad to be leaving you and Zoe.
- Yeah.
- But it's so perfect for us.
You know, there's room for Mick to record, for Brody to study for the baby.
That's great.
But is Brody's Mum okay with her staying? Brody's talking to Stacey every day.
She's keeping her in the loop.
[inhales.]
So, - Jodie contacted you.
- Jodie.
Yes.
God.
What about? Uh, she told me she told me that she has a batch of Patrick's sperm.
She doesn't want to use it so she's going to let it be destroyed.
But she thought she'd check with me first.
- You're only just telling me.
- Well, it's been hard to get you alone.
Were you worried about raising the subject of insemination with me? No.
No, I haven't talked to anyone about it.
What are you going to do? Have you even thought about having more children? I don't know.
I You have to keep them.
- I do? - Zoe could have a brother or sister.
Now that you know there's this living part of Patrick that still exists.
That's what I'm think.
I can't destroy that, can I? Then again, before you knew they existed, that wasn't an issue.
- Well that doesn't change how I feel now.
- And what would you say to a new guy? For example, Handsome Harry? - What? - Well, that you want a relationship, - possibly long-term, possibly marriage.
- No.
But when it comes to having kids, you've saved the genetic material from someone else that you'd prefer to use over his? That's not a very nice position to put someone in.
I don't think you can keep them.
- You just said I can't get rid of them.
- That's also true.
God, I really feel for you, Neens.
If I'm finding this confusing, I can't imagine what it's doing to you.
Neens, it's too much.
I think it's going to freak you out and drive you batty.
So you're saying that I shouldn't keep them? Yes.
Ooh! [Jimmy.]
Oi, check this out.
Hey, mate, how many triceratops? One, two, five, six, eight.
Why don't we try some socks? How many socks? I can do that.
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, twelve, thirteen, sixteen, fourteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, seventeen.
Oh, you know what? Why don't we take a little break? Go and get a drink.
- He's just tired.
- Jimmy, this is normal.
One minute they tell you the Earth goes round the sun, the next they're shoving chess pieces up their nose.
But what if we haven't paid enough attention to him? Just let the teachers handle it.
You know what? I always wondered whether.
I had some sort of - genius gift.
- You? Maybe mom was too preoccupied and dad just took everything in his stride.
Well, it clearly wasn't a gift for accounting.
[giggles.]
- What does that mean? - Nothing.
It was a bad joke.
I'm going to class.
[indistinct chatter.]
[sighs.]
[Renato.]
This a friend? Sorry.
Hello.
- Hello.
- Um, Renato, this is Zara.
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Your sister? - Oh, stop it, no.
She's my daughter-in-law.
Join us.
- No, I don't want to disturb you.
- No.
No, please, I have to make a phone call.
I'll be five minutes.
- He's handsome.
- Uh-huh.
How long? First date.
Well, we've slept together but this is the first meal.
[clears throat.]
Don't tell Marjorie.
She's very jealous.
- In fact, don't tell anyone.
- Okay.
- Aren't you meant to be in class? - Yes.
Yep.
I was just out getting some stationery.
Right.
Well I won't tell anyone your secret if you don't tell anyone mine.
- Done.
- [chuckles.]
How about some wine? Thank you.
You all right, Zara? No, I'm fine.
[sighs.]
I just I thought I could do everything, but I can't.
Juggle everything.
I'm just walking the streets trying to stop thinking about how I'm failing.
Darling, you need some more wine.
Oh, Renato, would you get another chair? Oh, no.
No no no.
It's your date.
I'm going to go.
That's okay, that's okay.
Stay.
No, really, I'm going to go.
It was lovely to meet you.
Darling.
Just be kind to yourself.
[sighs.]
[sheep bleating.]
Thank you driver, this should not take long.
[sheep bleating.]
Hello.
[clears throat.]
Coo-ee! Hello.
I'm looking for Ms.
Justine Thomas.
I believe she's the owner of this here property, and, I was wondering if you knew her whereabouts.
Well, well, well, Martin Clegg.
Justine? It's Justin now.
It's good to see you.
You, uh, you too.
Do you like living out here? It's a small life.
Smaller than I imagined for myself but yeah, I like it.
You know it's interesting that there was a time we were close enough to get married, but not quite close enough for you to tell me who you really were.
Yeah it took a long time to be brave enough.
I can only imagine.
I'm glad you came out here, Martin.
Really? Yeah.
Well, you see my birth certificate is still wrong, and I can't change it while we're still married.
Oh, of course.
You mean the Yeah.
I'll finally stop getting letters addressed to Miss Justin Thomas.
- [Clegg laughs.]
- Yes.
Well, um, in that case I'm glad I came too.
Ask me again.
Mr.
Justin Thomas, will you divorce me? I will.
Cheers.
It's quite fast.
Did you take him for a run around the block? [Zoe laughs.]
Yes.
It is beating fast.
Let me check his reflexes.
- [Zoe chats.]
- Will you do the right leg? Hi, I'm Harry.
Here for the buck's night.
[Nina.]
Oh, God.
Was this a mistake inviting him? [Brody.]
Come in.
Harry.
Hello.
- Hello.
- Am I early? Early? - No one else is here.
- No one else is here.
[Nina.]
Remember, Nina.
Angry, horny, fertile.
[knock at door.]
- Come in.
- Okay.
Elvis.
- Brody.
- Hello.
[indistinct chatter.]
Hi Nina.
Nice costume.
Pardon? Oh, I'll get it.
Hi, Elvis.
[Harry.]
What about Martin? I thought he'd be here.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Hello.
I've just gotta, sorry.
Hello, Billie.
I'm calling you from my brand new house.
My first call.
Oh, okay.
I just picked up the keys from the agent.
Oh, that's great, Billie.
It's just I'm a little busy.
Oh, okay, I'll get to the point.
Um, I'm sorry, I was wrong.
What? [honking.]
They're here, guys.
I overreacted about Patrick's sperm and I was unclear, and I underestimated you.
- Anyway I think you should keep the sperm.
- You do? Yeah.
Why make it any more complicated? You're just keeping your options open.
Yeah.
Exactly.
I'll keep them.
Okay.
I think it's the only decision.
Thanks, Billie.
[Nina.]
Decision made.
I'm coming! [Elvis.]
Nina, hurry up! You're going to miss the Apocalypse! [Kim.]
I'm going to pamper the shit out of you.
Head massage? [muffled shriek.]
- [Kim.]
Is it nice? - Yep.
This'll stimulate your hair follicles.
- How's that? - Yeah, no, that's good.
- Champagne? - Oh, yeah, sure.
Watching porn.
I think we need strippers.
I feel bad for Cherie.
What? She's having a great night.
No one wants this for their hen's.
She's getting injured.
[groan.]
This is my perfect night.
- You don't mean that.
- Yeah.
Sometimes all you need is a bit of shoosh and a bit of champagne.
Is there a spa? - I think I should have gone to the buck's.
- Oh, rubbish.
Come and have a spa.
Help me.
All clear.
[zombie driver.]
This way.
Good luck.
You'll need it.
This is actually quite scary.
Uh, excuse me, we're still waiting for Martin.
He's the buck.
He's not here.
We will deliver him when he makes contact.
In the meantime? You just have to get out alive.
[distant growl.]
What was that? [phone ringing.]
It's Martin.
Hi, Martin, where are you? [voice breaking.]
Nina! Marriage annulled massacre! What's the report, Proudman? Pardon? I I don't know.
We should move.
[indistinct screaming.]
Together? [woman wailing in distance.]
- We've been detected.
- Oh, this is stupid.
Go! Run run run run! Run! [screams.]
[Elvis panting.]
[Elvis screams.]
Come on.
[Nina.]
Oh, Jimmy.
[screams.]
Please don't run off.
Well, I won't if you don't.
I suppose we have to get through that door so we can get to the end? We could just stay here.
That's true.
Yeah, I mean, who's going to notice if we just stay out here? - It's nice and warm.
- [screaming.]
- [Nina.]
We just have to - [screaming.]
[Harry.]
We just have to keep moving.
[growling.]
What's that? [growling.]
Nina.
Jimmy? - Nina.
- This is not funny, Jimmy.
[growling.]
[screams and giggles.]
What have you done with my brother? [howling.]
[woman shrieks.]
Can I hold your hand? Yeah, of course.
[panting.]
Harry.
Yeah? The first time you asked me out and I said no, I just want to explain why.
- Here? - I've gotta get it out.
It's now or never.
We're not going to die in here, Nina.
I'm on a hormone treatment.
What for? It's FSH.
I'm I'm just I might be donating some eggs.
Oh.
We're just checking the viability at the moment.
It's top secret.
No one knows.
Especially my sister.
All right.
But there are some side effects.
Highly fertile, of course.
Angry.
And a bit horny.
Oh.
It might be a bit much for you.
But if it's not - [screams.]
- Oh, stop that! It's stupid! Oh, ridiculous! Ah, God! Stop that! Stop it! ["I'm so excited" playing.]
Come on, I didn't get this room for nothing.
Come on.
Dance.
Come on.
I don't want to lose control And I think I like it Oh, yeah I'm so excited [screaming.]
[Nina.]
Stop it! - Where did you go? - We had your back.
You left us for dead.
You were actually terrified.
- What's that drink? - Eyeball.
Oh, well, anyway.
We got through it.
Thank God that's over.
Cheers.
What? You seem to be implying that that's it.
We're only just halfway, Nina.
We have to still get through the Vampire Wars.
Oh.
Actually, you know, Cherie really wanted both the parties to come together.
- Are you serious? - They won't mind if we're late.
- Yeah, we did promise.
- Please.
Well, how about you and I go, Harry, and the rest of you come when the vampires have been - Vanquished.
- Vanquished.
Exactly.
Thank you, Nina.
Thank you.
[groans.]
Oh.
- Nina! - Oh, God.
- You have got to try this face cream.
- Oh.
You all right? How was it? You look terrified.
Oh, it was the greatest night of Elvis' life.
Ah, is Cherie all right? Yeah, I think so.
She had a bit of champagne.
Well, looks like it's been a raging success.
Yeah.
Think it turned out alright in the end.
Zara, bath time.
Well, we survived it.
Barely.
Here's cheers.
Cheers.
You never finished your sentence.
What sentence? Uh, in the zombie apocalypse, you said "this might be a bit much for you, but if it's not" But if it's not What were you going to say? If it's not, then maybe Do you think there are any other rooms in this giant hotel? We can't.
Can we? I think you should trust your feelings more.
Oh, I do not trust my feelings.
I think you should.
[giggles.]
["Sun Song" playing.]
Here sits a man of twenty-two years Up and strong Held fast to lessons learned From mother nature's song Speaks in the voice of winter winds And rivers run Worn close to heart by everyone Waiting for the sun You have to wear protection.
Yeah, of course.
No, I meant you have to wear heaps of protection.
I'm very fertile.
I have three.
Wear them all.
[heavy breathing and panting.]
Who has three? What is it? I'm really fertile, Harry.
I've got three condoms on.
I think it's cutting off the blood supply.
Yeah, you're right.
God.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Don't you think we should wait till the hormones have just gone? No, no, definitely not.
It's just I really, really want to do this because my ovaries are quite literally exploding.
[panting.]
Can we just can we just stop for a sec? Okay, sure.
Like this.
It's like trying to stop a sneeze.
It's like trying to stop a train with your bare hands.
[panting.]
You're holding me really tight.