The L Word s06e07 Episode Script
Last Couple Standing
Hello and welcome to the 2009 Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center dance marathon.
And remember, all contestors must register.
Please fill out your paperwork and you will be given a registration number.
You must wear these numbers on each of the parties.
I found more safety pins.
- "Magician" by Terry Dexter - Front and back, front and back.
Hi.
Oh god! I'm so excited you came.
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Listen, I hope you brought your dancing blownics because Tasha, Jamie and I are gonna wipe the floor with you.
Our routine kills.
It kills! Do you wanna know what it is? Not really.
Oh, I see.
You're trying to psych me out.
Acting like you don't care.
I know you care.
Listen, you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine.
These your outfits? Don't touch that.
What? Is that, is that all you've got? Oh, yeah, yeah.
First of many.
So many more to come.
Oh, good, 'cause I was worried.
- What do they look like? - Why would you like to know? - Why are you so competitive? - Me?! What about you? Alright, I've got to tell you something.
Come here.
Come here.
I have a secret.
- What? - I plan to sweep this thing, okay? Win all three competitions, best dance, most money raised, - last couple standing.
- Last couple standing? - You know, for charity.
- Okay.
You're good? - Don't tell anybody.
- No.
Look at what you've done.
I know, right? Aw, so cute.
Okay.
- Okay, what did I say? - Bette? Hey! Oh god, I'm so sorry.
I kinda forgot to call you back.
I just that I had a major collector on the other line.
I just got distracted.
- I'm sorry.
- Is Tina here? She's on her way.
She just had a meeting.
Can I, can I, can I I would like to talk to you privately, please.
Sure.
For me? Thanks.
Did you tell her what happened? - When? - After the opening.
When she was out of town.
Yeah, I told her all about it.
You told her about you and Kelly? How she came back to you house and you had sex with her? What? It's not funny.
I saw you through the window.
You weren't even trying to hide it, Bette.
Look, I don't know what you think you saw, but I can tell you that however it appeared, nothing happened.
- Then what did I see, Bette? - I don't know.
You tell me.
What did you see, Jenny? I know this is hard.
And I know that you're trying to be better, - and this isn't easy - Look, nothing happened.
Kelly came over, she was drunk, she spilled her drink, I cleaned it up, that's the end of the story.
- Let it go.
- Tina's my friend.
You know how it works.
People find out about these things.
How did it go? Good.
Really good.
- I'll tell you about it later.
- Okay.
Great.
I think we should get you registered.
- Come on.
- Okay.
Where do I sign up? Five minutes from here.
Our first decade is the seventies.
Please stay ??? to designate an aera for your posessions.
Weezie promised she would have the guest bedroom ready by the end of the week.
I think when that's finished, we should just move in upstairs.
We can finally have a little bit of privacy.
Bette, he offered me a job.
- James Chamas? - Head of production.
For Focus Features? That's fucking fantastic! - Did you know that he'd - No, no, no, I had no idea.
We were in our meeting and he starts asking me questions about producer credits and, I don't know! He just looks at me all of a sudden and he says, "Hey, are you happy at Shaolin?" and he knows everything that's going on, he's totally cool about everything and, bam! He just offers me a job, right there.
Shut up! Oh my god! You are such a fucking rock star! It's in New York.
The job's in New York.
They want you to move to New York? Who's moving to New York? Not you, guys.
No one, no one.
We were just - I got offered a job and - Right.
I'm not gonna take it.
- I'm not.
- We still have to talk about it.
Yeah, you do have to talk about it.
Look, our life is here.
We live here, okay? - It's crazy.
It's crazy.
- Your friends are here.
Hello? God! And Bette, by the way your work is here.
You just set a really big gallery opening.
And we just rebuilt our house.
Yeah, about that, you guys.
Can we talk? Are you really sure you wanna have this girl moving with you? This girl is our birthmother, okay? Her name is Marci, and we're picking her up tomorrow, - at 7' in the morning.
- At 7' in the morning.
That's why we can't stay for the whole marathon.
Are you sure about that? Why? What are you trying to say? Have you not seen "Baby Mama"? Oh my god, it is so truthful, it's like, you're all gonna start happy and then before you know it you'll be waiting on her hand and foot.
You're gonna be scared to have sex in your own house.
And she's a teenager.
She's gonna hate you guys out of principle.
You know what? She's 22 years old.
Okay, so she's gonna wanna down like 50 beers after dinner and you can't stop her.
- Or worse - What? One of you guys could end up having an affair with her.
Oh my god! You guys, you could get on loss in these muchy mama feelings and suck it to her one night.
- Okay, that's enough.
- I'm just saying - it's a possibility.
- No, it's not a possibility.
I'm not some fucking loose canon that just fucks everything that walks, okay? I can be trusted.
I didn't say it was gonna be you.
Is Marci hot? - Oh, you guys, you are - Freaking stop it! You're bringing me down, M'am.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your mister of ceremony for the evening Peace, my sisters.
- Sunset Boulevard! - Peace.
Alright, good evening! - "The City Sleeps" by The Charmless Hearts - I see this goal here is empty.
But we'll fill it up, right? We'll fill it up, alright.
Oh, here we go.
We are gonna fill it all Look at you.
That's my "Studio 54" look.
Give what you can.
Look, I'm sorry about everything with Dylan.
I feel like we, we pushed you into it.
Thank you for apologizing, but, I was complicit.
I wanted to know.
Great.
She's in love with you.
I'm gonna love you, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's do this.
Then where is she? Now it's my great pleasure to introduce you to the director of Children, Youth and Family Services at the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center, Miss Jamie Chen.
- Wow, thank you guys so much.
- Here.
- Thank you.
- Come on.
There are thousands of lesbian and gay and bisexual and transgender young people living on the streets of Los Angeles.
But we're here for them to get them off the streets, provide them food, shelter, and counceling, and just let them know that they're not alone.
We are a family and we stick together.
Okay.
I would like to introduce you now to someone who's had a huge impact in making this event possible, our honoring co-chair and I'm really proud to say my friend, Alice Pieszecki.
Thank you so much.
I am not gonna bore you with a really long story.
I will give you the overview.
Some of you might know that I received a letter that I read to millions of people on the air when I worked on "The Look", and since then I have lost my job, I met a really good friend, I love my girlfriend more than ever and I owe this all to someone very special.
There, I see you.
Marie, come here.
- Say hi.
- Hi.
Mary taught me something very important and that's that it's not a one-way street.
We can really influence these kids, but if you give them two seconds of your time, they can really turn your life around.
And so I just wanted to thank you for coming into my life, Marie.
Thank you.
Okay, our goal tonight is to raise 250,000 dollars for the Jeff Griffith Youth Center.
Yes.
I know you're all here to have fun and dance and that's great, but we also wanna encourage you to be very generous.
So if you feel like pledging, please come up on the stage, grap a microphone and pledge.
So who wants to set the tone? We do.
- We do? - Yeah, we do.
Bette and Tina, my really good friends.
They're amazing.
How much are you gonna donate? We pledge 1,500 dollars.
Wow! That's amazing! Is this Isn't this easy? You just come so you can pick a microphone, visualize the amount of money you can give, and just shut out a number.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to bring to the stage the beautiful, the mystical, the incomparable Miss Kit Porter.
Oh my, my, my, look at you.
Oh no, look at you yourself.
- Now, I have a question for you.
- Ask, go on, sexy.
Would you be my dance partner for this evening? I don't even have to think about it.
That will be a "yes" and then "oh yes"! Are you sure? Oh, I'm sure.
- "Dances" by Elizabeth Ziff - All numbers must be visible on the front and back of your costumes.
I'm really sorry about what happened the other day.
Don't listen to anything she says, Helena.
She's certifiable.
Really.
Where is your number? Hey, how come you all wear the same one? I thought it was 2 per team.
I know people who know people.
Helena, you should dance with me.
Oh my god, you should.
You have to dance.
- Come on, you should do it.
It'll be fun.
- Do it! I don't want to disappoint you.
I'm not ready to step all night - and dance? - It's twelve little hours.
You can do that.
I stayed up all week building my endurance.
I did.
I mean, Tasha stayed up with me.
Alright.
And where do I get one of the number things? It's your club? You don't know where to get a number? Come on.
This way.
This way.
That was nice of you.
It's no big deal.
I'm happy to dance with her.
What? If you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you.
Now, the next twelve hours we will dance the music from the seventies, eighties, nineties, and beyond.
The longer you stay on your feet, the more money you make from your sponsors.
So the simple objective, ladies and gentlemen, stay on your feet.
Because if you sit, you're out.
If you stand still for too long you're out.
Every three hours, we're gonna have ourselves a little dance contest.
All of you, beautiful contestors, will be taught a simple dance.
It could be the hustle.
The electric style.
A salsa.
A tango.
Now, now, if there is no spring in your step and no funk in your trunk, you will be - eliminated.
- By one of our judges.
Well, the question is, do you have the staying power, huh? Like can't you believe.
Everybody dance! - "Discotheque" by Elin Lanto - The 2009 dance marathon has begun! What? Look who's here.
Who? Look, don't let her ruin your night, okay? She's just probably here to do some good.
You know? I doubt it.
You know, when I first got here, Jenny came up to me, and she started talking to me about - Remember I had the opening and - Guys, guys, guys, guys.
I have kind of a weird feeling about tonight.
- About what? - I'm not sure exactly.
You know what, Alice? I was just really in the middle of something.
Is Jamie acting weird? Not that I can tell.
- Alright.
- No, she seems fine.
Okay, cool.
Thanks.
So anyway, I was saying, uh - After the opening - Like not even like, a little, like a little vibe, like no vibe over there? Nothing weird? - Not that I can tell.
- They're just dancing.
- Yeah, totally.
Of course.
- I think.
Okay, dance.
Dance.
What if they are? That would so suck.
What were you saying? Nevermind, it's nothing.
I'll tell you later.
I just wanna have fun.
You're all looking fantastic.
Now we're near our first 15 minutes break.
But when we return, we will be entering our first competition round, where you're gonna have to learn a line dance.
So watch and learn from our experts or you will be eliminated.
You have 15 minutes.
Rest, drink, eat, but whatever you do, be back on the dance floor in 15 minutes or you will be disqualified.
- "Hurt Machine" by Heidi Mortenson - Excuse me.
How are you? Are we really gonna do this? What? Not say hello.
And you believed her? She thinks that she saw something.
Nothing happened.
Really? What exactly did she say? - Goddamn it, Jenny.
- Now, listen up, everybody.
It's time to get back to the dance floor.
- Fuck you, you fucking bitch! - We are ??? a line dancing.
Alright, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the line dance competition and don't forget, the judges here are all around you.
So please do your best 'cause nothing less will be tolerated.
I can't believe you guys are moving to New York.
Who said we're moving to New York? - "My Baby(Its Just Love)" by BETTY - What?! I see now ladies are on the business.
These children And what about Angie and the baby? We go to New York, they're gonna come with us.
Did you tell her? Number 32, you're out.
- You fucking girlfriend.
- Please, please, I know you can't leave me here.
So you're inspired? Yeah, I am actually.
Do you think there's something going on between Tash and Jamie? I don't know.
Are you gonna volunteer? Yeah, I will.
I will.
Alright, I'm holding you to it.
Good.
Then I'll do it.
They seem too close? Maybe.
Should I be worried? Honestly? - "Too Many Maybes" by Suzie Rose - Oh, lady night.
Disqualified.
Need you on dance and you're out here alone.
Oh, no, I'm waiting for Jenny.
She's my partner.
Oh, she didn't seem like your partner last week.
Well, she is.
So anyway, are you feeling better? That's good.
Look, I'm glad.
I'm sorry I didn't stick around.
No, don't apologize.
There's just some people who are good in taking care of others.
Harsh, but earned.
So, do you think I get a second chance? Oh, really? Welcome to the competition round.
Look, the winner of tonight's competition will receive 10,000 dollars donated to the Jeff Griffith Center on their behalf.
So without further review, let's get our first dance who's out here.
Hilary Seems and Victoria Prize.
- "Strut your stuff" by Elizabeth Ziff - So, you're competing, huh? Yeah, Jenny wants to.
Bitch, I'm gonna kick your ass.
So what, you've got a routine? What's going on? What you're doing? I don't know.
Something like that.
Oh, so you really give a fuck, don't you? Come on, Alice.
This is, does this look like it's my thing? What is your thing? God! What's gonna make you happy these days? Please, don't.
Not today.
I don't wanna hear it.
Why? Because, Al, this is what it is.
No, it's not.
It's what you let it be.
That was respectable.
That was nice.
That was respectable.
Okay.
So next.
Let's have Jennifer Schecter and Shane McCutcheon.
- "Kurts Ballroom Tango" by Kurt Faquhar - Alright! Very nice, very nice, very nice.
Very nice.
Okay, they did fine.
Good work, good work.
Very nice.
Alright, come on now! Let's get up.
What are you looking at? Jump around! I didn't know Dance Fever was back on the air.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize Kriss Kross was looking for a new member.
- "In The Back" by Elizabeth Ziff - Nice cameltoe.
Fuck! They're not fucking around.
They're serious.
They have costumes! I see.
Wasn't it supposed to be fun? - Fun?! - Yeah! Okay.
Do you think you need to go for ??? - I think I'm good.
- Do you think or are you sure? Because you know what? They've got wigs and spandex.
This is no fucking joke.
We have no idea what they're capable of.
I'll do my best.
- Hydrate? - Yeah.
Now here the next group.
They'll push it really good.
I got it, I got it, I got it.
- Do this.
Let's do this, Alice.
- Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Alice, what's wrong? - "Boomshake" by Far East Movement - I can't, uh, I can't I don't have rythm.
- What?! - I've never had rythm.
Okay? I don't This is - What do you - a joke.
- And I was thinking.
- What are you talking about? You were the lead in "West Side Story".
Yeah, you said, "We're number one, we can't be number two".
You guys, everyone went traditional.
- We look like freaks.
- No, we don't.
We look good.
Okay, we look a little crazy, but, alright, that's not the point.
Listen.
Alright? We can do this.
You know the routine, you choreographed everything, okay? Another problem.
Why did you let me do that? I don't know how to choreograph shit.
- Put your wig on, okay? - Come on.
- You're gonna do this.
- I was a terrible Maria by the way.
You're gonna do this, okay? Just think of one thing.
Think Think Okay, look.
Everybody out there? They're here for you.
Okay? Jamie and I are gonna do this crazy ass dance for you, - alright? - It's true.
I'm in a turquoise onesie for you, okay? So pull it together.
- Alright.
Yes.
- Oh good.
- Yes, we can We're gonna - You got this.
- win this fucking thing.
- We can do this.
Yeah.
- I love you.
- Let's do it! So let's get Jamie Chen, Tasha Williams and Alice Pieszecki to stage.
- "Push It" by Salt n Peppa - How do you like me now? You see? You see this cause seemed to - 5.
5.
- 5.
5 - What's up with the 5.
5? - Yeah! This is now officially a competition.
Alright, and this is close.
It's close.
- "Low Ridin" by Far East Movement - We only get five minutes to pie! Next up we have Bette Porter and Tina Kennard.
Come on out here, you two.
- "Back To Life" by Soul to Soul - I'm so, I'm so sorry.
And we have our winner! Let's get it on.
These guys were amazing! That's the other better step.
Game on now.
Let's get it on! That was great.
That was beautiful.
- Congratulations.
- Fucking fantastic.
Good.
Still friends, cameltoe? Yep.
This is now officially a competition.
And this is close.
It's close.
So let's get our final contestor out here on stage.
Oh my god! You two were so beautiful.
You're gonna win, you're gonna win! You're gonna win! - "The Mating Game" by Bitter:Sweet - God, she's amazing! How does she do that? She's totally gonna win.
No, she's not.
She's totally gonna win.
Maybe.
Any regrets? Not a one.
Jodi got three tens! No, I don't know how you get three tens.
- I've never seen anything like that.
- Did you know - she could dance like that? - I had no idea.
She must have practised the routine for months.
You had us practising for months.
Your sense of fairplay is annoying.
I'm just saying don't be so a loser.
I'm not having lost yet all the way.
Oh yeah, that's right, two more.
Oh my god! - No, I think you were the best.
- Oh sure, really.
You're okay? You'll win the next two.
Oh my god! That was so embarassing.
We stayed in the bathroom - Whatever! Right.
- Yeah, I know.
No, I'm not lying.
Whatever, but she looked so hot tonight.
- I know, it just - Nikki, twelve o'clock.
No, the other twelve o'clock.
Behind you! Can I speak to you? Here.
Uh, get up.
Go ahead.
- "Ghosts" by Client - I'm not here to reprimand you.
I know.
So, you know that this is a fundraiser.
Obviously.
Why would I wanna be here 'til this hour? Right, exactly.
So, I was down there and I was thinking that the public is very harsh with you.
And that you have a reputation for being shallow and vain.
No, I don't.
You do.
And I was thinking that it would be really cool and great for your image and great for the cause if you were to auction off a date with yourself.
- A date with me? - Yeah.
You would raise a ton of money for the shelter, you would stand up on the stage, you would start a bidding war.
People would think you are super cool.
So much better than just donating money.
What do you think? I'll think about it.
Thank you.
What did she want? Are you okay? What? This just This reminds me of when I was about sneak out of boarding school so I could snog with Bridget Crossings.
Oh god! Whatever happened to Bridget? Oh she hooked up with Jonathan Barcley, this maths genius and It kind of broke my heart actually.
Doesn't really seem that much has changed, does that just seem I can't believe in my heart.
Dylan, I'm sorry, okay? - I'm sorry.
- No, no, no, no.
Listen.
No, no more apologies.
I think, I think that we need to just start new.
Can we do that? Alright.
Yeah.
- "Petrol" by Client - I'll meet you guys upstairs.
Excuse me.
Hi.
I would like to make a donation.
Oh, ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Nikki Stevens.
Thank you very much.
Thank you everyone.
Thank you, thank you.
So, I have an announcement to make.
That tonight I would like to auction off a date with myself to the highest bidder.
- Would you help me out? - That'd be lovely.
Oh, get ourselves ??? the 500 dollars.
- Yeah, 500 dollars right here.
- Come on, guys! Do we have six? Do we have 600 dollars? Let's go to 1,000.
Let's go over the 1,000.
Let make this really interesting and just go for 2,000 dollars.
I make really good pancakes.
Well, that sounds what waking up for.
They're not gonna get to 2,000.
- This guy over here.
- 2,000? Could you repeat that again, please? Would you please make your way up on stage? Unless someone is willing to outbid.
Motherfucker! I do believe we have the largest single donation of this event.
That's the second That's the second thing I lost.
Let's give it up, - ladies and gentlemen.
- Can I just say something? You don't have to fuck her in the bathroom anymore.
You don't have to sneack around.
I don't want you to do that.
So I bought her for you.
So you can have her whenever you want.
Thank you.
Holy shit! DJ, return of that music, please.
Everybody dance! Listen, I don't care! You can fuck whoever you want, whenever you want, fuck Nikki, fuck whoever.
I know that you need it.
It doesn't scare me.
Because I know you.
Good morning all you beautiful hearts.
You got almost get the finish line.
And what you've done here tonight is so beautiful, ladies and gentlemen.
These kids are going to be so grateful and you'll be so proud of the work you managed to do here tonight.
They'll go a long way, trust me, because when kids feel safe and they ??? explore the world ??? You should be proud of yourselves.
We're back in three minutes.
So be on the dance floor or be disqualified.
Congratulations.
Really, really great.
I don't know why I care of what you think of me.
- "Ive Been Waiting for you" by Costanza - But I do and Really? I'm gonna just I was crazy to think that a fifteen minutes nap would help.
I have to ask you a question.
What's up? Do you have feelings for Tasha? Oh god! I would never do anything I know.
Do we tell Marci about New York? You're really serious about this? It just feels really right to me.
You know, I don't know when another opportunity like this might come along.
What about the gallery? I can work from New York.
I'll probably have to be there half of the time anyway.
And our friends? I love our friends.
I love them a lot, but, you know, at a certain point I have to trust they're like a family.
You know? And just because we leave L.
A.
, doesn't mean that we're leaving them.
It's really gonna become healthy.
It will be a fresh start.
It's a new city.
It's gonna be so exciting.
Oh my god! We have to apply for schools.
- Like right now.
- I know.
- "Distant Dreamer" by Duffy - Who the hell is the guy with the microphone? Oh my god, just hang on a second.
Wait, wait, you You just can't come up on the stage.
You were at my sister's gallery.
I was.
Most of you know me as Sunset Boulevard.
But my real name is Sonny Benson and I'm a straight man who loves this gay-lesbian family.
And I hope that you could still accept me.
You lied to me.
- I tried to tell you.
- You lied to me.
- I never lied to you.
- You are a con man.
I never lied to you, girlfriend.
You assumed I trusted you! I trusted I told you things that I would never tell a man! What did you think I was? The dress didn't change the fact that I was a man! You trusted me because you felt I could be trusted.
Give me a chance.
I know I have you at a disadvantage.
And I know I know more of your stories than you know mine, but I'd love a chance to fix that.
You're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.
And I'd love nothing better than to take you to dinner, and to know you better.
It's, uh I don't know.
Maybe she fell asleep on the bus.
I want you to know that I've never loved you more.
And I want you to be happy.
Do you wanna be with Jamie? I don't - I don't know if - It's okay.
I'm not ready to let you go.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have our last couple standing.
And remember, all contestors must register.
Please fill out your paperwork and you will be given a registration number.
You must wear these numbers on each of the parties.
I found more safety pins.
- "Magician" by Terry Dexter - Front and back, front and back.
Hi.
Oh god! I'm so excited you came.
I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Listen, I hope you brought your dancing blownics because Tasha, Jamie and I are gonna wipe the floor with you.
Our routine kills.
It kills! Do you wanna know what it is? Not really.
Oh, I see.
You're trying to psych me out.
Acting like you don't care.
I know you care.
Listen, you tell me yours, I'll tell you mine.
These your outfits? Don't touch that.
What? Is that, is that all you've got? Oh, yeah, yeah.
First of many.
So many more to come.
Oh, good, 'cause I was worried.
- What do they look like? - Why would you like to know? - Why are you so competitive? - Me?! What about you? Alright, I've got to tell you something.
Come here.
Come here.
I have a secret.
- What? - I plan to sweep this thing, okay? Win all three competitions, best dance, most money raised, - last couple standing.
- Last couple standing? - You know, for charity.
- Okay.
You're good? - Don't tell anybody.
- No.
Look at what you've done.
I know, right? Aw, so cute.
Okay.
- Okay, what did I say? - Bette? Hey! Oh god, I'm so sorry.
I kinda forgot to call you back.
I just that I had a major collector on the other line.
I just got distracted.
- I'm sorry.
- Is Tina here? She's on her way.
She just had a meeting.
Can I, can I, can I I would like to talk to you privately, please.
Sure.
For me? Thanks.
Did you tell her what happened? - When? - After the opening.
When she was out of town.
Yeah, I told her all about it.
You told her about you and Kelly? How she came back to you house and you had sex with her? What? It's not funny.
I saw you through the window.
You weren't even trying to hide it, Bette.
Look, I don't know what you think you saw, but I can tell you that however it appeared, nothing happened.
- Then what did I see, Bette? - I don't know.
You tell me.
What did you see, Jenny? I know this is hard.
And I know that you're trying to be better, - and this isn't easy - Look, nothing happened.
Kelly came over, she was drunk, she spilled her drink, I cleaned it up, that's the end of the story.
- Let it go.
- Tina's my friend.
You know how it works.
People find out about these things.
How did it go? Good.
Really good.
- I'll tell you about it later.
- Okay.
Great.
I think we should get you registered.
- Come on.
- Okay.
Where do I sign up? Five minutes from here.
Our first decade is the seventies.
Please stay ??? to designate an aera for your posessions.
Weezie promised she would have the guest bedroom ready by the end of the week.
I think when that's finished, we should just move in upstairs.
We can finally have a little bit of privacy.
Bette, he offered me a job.
- James Chamas? - Head of production.
For Focus Features? That's fucking fantastic! - Did you know that he'd - No, no, no, I had no idea.
We were in our meeting and he starts asking me questions about producer credits and, I don't know! He just looks at me all of a sudden and he says, "Hey, are you happy at Shaolin?" and he knows everything that's going on, he's totally cool about everything and, bam! He just offers me a job, right there.
Shut up! Oh my god! You are such a fucking rock star! It's in New York.
The job's in New York.
They want you to move to New York? Who's moving to New York? Not you, guys.
No one, no one.
We were just - I got offered a job and - Right.
I'm not gonna take it.
- I'm not.
- We still have to talk about it.
Yeah, you do have to talk about it.
Look, our life is here.
We live here, okay? - It's crazy.
It's crazy.
- Your friends are here.
Hello? God! And Bette, by the way your work is here.
You just set a really big gallery opening.
And we just rebuilt our house.
Yeah, about that, you guys.
Can we talk? Are you really sure you wanna have this girl moving with you? This girl is our birthmother, okay? Her name is Marci, and we're picking her up tomorrow, - at 7' in the morning.
- At 7' in the morning.
That's why we can't stay for the whole marathon.
Are you sure about that? Why? What are you trying to say? Have you not seen "Baby Mama"? Oh my god, it is so truthful, it's like, you're all gonna start happy and then before you know it you'll be waiting on her hand and foot.
You're gonna be scared to have sex in your own house.
And she's a teenager.
She's gonna hate you guys out of principle.
You know what? She's 22 years old.
Okay, so she's gonna wanna down like 50 beers after dinner and you can't stop her.
- Or worse - What? One of you guys could end up having an affair with her.
Oh my god! You guys, you could get on loss in these muchy mama feelings and suck it to her one night.
- Okay, that's enough.
- I'm just saying - it's a possibility.
- No, it's not a possibility.
I'm not some fucking loose canon that just fucks everything that walks, okay? I can be trusted.
I didn't say it was gonna be you.
Is Marci hot? - Oh, you guys, you are - Freaking stop it! You're bringing me down, M'am.
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your mister of ceremony for the evening Peace, my sisters.
- Sunset Boulevard! - Peace.
Alright, good evening! - "The City Sleeps" by The Charmless Hearts - I see this goal here is empty.
But we'll fill it up, right? We'll fill it up, alright.
Oh, here we go.
We are gonna fill it all Look at you.
That's my "Studio 54" look.
Give what you can.
Look, I'm sorry about everything with Dylan.
I feel like we, we pushed you into it.
Thank you for apologizing, but, I was complicit.
I wanted to know.
Great.
She's in love with you.
I'm gonna love you, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's do this.
Then where is she? Now it's my great pleasure to introduce you to the director of Children, Youth and Family Services at the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center, Miss Jamie Chen.
- Wow, thank you guys so much.
- Here.
- Thank you.
- Come on.
There are thousands of lesbian and gay and bisexual and transgender young people living on the streets of Los Angeles.
But we're here for them to get them off the streets, provide them food, shelter, and counceling, and just let them know that they're not alone.
We are a family and we stick together.
Okay.
I would like to introduce you now to someone who's had a huge impact in making this event possible, our honoring co-chair and I'm really proud to say my friend, Alice Pieszecki.
Thank you so much.
I am not gonna bore you with a really long story.
I will give you the overview.
Some of you might know that I received a letter that I read to millions of people on the air when I worked on "The Look", and since then I have lost my job, I met a really good friend, I love my girlfriend more than ever and I owe this all to someone very special.
There, I see you.
Marie, come here.
- Say hi.
- Hi.
Mary taught me something very important and that's that it's not a one-way street.
We can really influence these kids, but if you give them two seconds of your time, they can really turn your life around.
And so I just wanted to thank you for coming into my life, Marie.
Thank you.
Okay, our goal tonight is to raise 250,000 dollars for the Jeff Griffith Youth Center.
Yes.
I know you're all here to have fun and dance and that's great, but we also wanna encourage you to be very generous.
So if you feel like pledging, please come up on the stage, grap a microphone and pledge.
So who wants to set the tone? We do.
- We do? - Yeah, we do.
Bette and Tina, my really good friends.
They're amazing.
How much are you gonna donate? We pledge 1,500 dollars.
Wow! That's amazing! Is this Isn't this easy? You just come so you can pick a microphone, visualize the amount of money you can give, and just shut out a number.
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to bring to the stage the beautiful, the mystical, the incomparable Miss Kit Porter.
Oh my, my, my, look at you.
Oh no, look at you yourself.
- Now, I have a question for you.
- Ask, go on, sexy.
Would you be my dance partner for this evening? I don't even have to think about it.
That will be a "yes" and then "oh yes"! Are you sure? Oh, I'm sure.
- "Dances" by Elizabeth Ziff - All numbers must be visible on the front and back of your costumes.
I'm really sorry about what happened the other day.
Don't listen to anything she says, Helena.
She's certifiable.
Really.
Where is your number? Hey, how come you all wear the same one? I thought it was 2 per team.
I know people who know people.
Helena, you should dance with me.
Oh my god, you should.
You have to dance.
- Come on, you should do it.
It'll be fun.
- Do it! I don't want to disappoint you.
I'm not ready to step all night - and dance? - It's twelve little hours.
You can do that.
I stayed up all week building my endurance.
I did.
I mean, Tasha stayed up with me.
Alright.
And where do I get one of the number things? It's your club? You don't know where to get a number? Come on.
This way.
This way.
That was nice of you.
It's no big deal.
I'm happy to dance with her.
What? If you don't know, I'm not gonna tell you.
Now, the next twelve hours we will dance the music from the seventies, eighties, nineties, and beyond.
The longer you stay on your feet, the more money you make from your sponsors.
So the simple objective, ladies and gentlemen, stay on your feet.
Because if you sit, you're out.
If you stand still for too long you're out.
Every three hours, we're gonna have ourselves a little dance contest.
All of you, beautiful contestors, will be taught a simple dance.
It could be the hustle.
The electric style.
A salsa.
A tango.
Now, now, if there is no spring in your step and no funk in your trunk, you will be - eliminated.
- By one of our judges.
Well, the question is, do you have the staying power, huh? Like can't you believe.
Everybody dance! - "Discotheque" by Elin Lanto - The 2009 dance marathon has begun! What? Look who's here.
Who? Look, don't let her ruin your night, okay? She's just probably here to do some good.
You know? I doubt it.
You know, when I first got here, Jenny came up to me, and she started talking to me about - Remember I had the opening and - Guys, guys, guys, guys.
I have kind of a weird feeling about tonight.
- About what? - I'm not sure exactly.
You know what, Alice? I was just really in the middle of something.
Is Jamie acting weird? Not that I can tell.
- Alright.
- No, she seems fine.
Okay, cool.
Thanks.
So anyway, I was saying, uh - After the opening - Like not even like, a little, like a little vibe, like no vibe over there? Nothing weird? - Not that I can tell.
- They're just dancing.
- Yeah, totally.
Of course.
- I think.
Okay, dance.
Dance.
What if they are? That would so suck.
What were you saying? Nevermind, it's nothing.
I'll tell you later.
I just wanna have fun.
You're all looking fantastic.
Now we're near our first 15 minutes break.
But when we return, we will be entering our first competition round, where you're gonna have to learn a line dance.
So watch and learn from our experts or you will be eliminated.
You have 15 minutes.
Rest, drink, eat, but whatever you do, be back on the dance floor in 15 minutes or you will be disqualified.
- "Hurt Machine" by Heidi Mortenson - Excuse me.
How are you? Are we really gonna do this? What? Not say hello.
And you believed her? She thinks that she saw something.
Nothing happened.
Really? What exactly did she say? - Goddamn it, Jenny.
- Now, listen up, everybody.
It's time to get back to the dance floor.
- Fuck you, you fucking bitch! - We are ??? a line dancing.
Alright, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the line dance competition and don't forget, the judges here are all around you.
So please do your best 'cause nothing less will be tolerated.
I can't believe you guys are moving to New York.
Who said we're moving to New York? - "My Baby(Its Just Love)" by BETTY - What?! I see now ladies are on the business.
These children And what about Angie and the baby? We go to New York, they're gonna come with us.
Did you tell her? Number 32, you're out.
- You fucking girlfriend.
- Please, please, I know you can't leave me here.
So you're inspired? Yeah, I am actually.
Do you think there's something going on between Tash and Jamie? I don't know.
Are you gonna volunteer? Yeah, I will.
I will.
Alright, I'm holding you to it.
Good.
Then I'll do it.
They seem too close? Maybe.
Should I be worried? Honestly? - "Too Many Maybes" by Suzie Rose - Oh, lady night.
Disqualified.
Need you on dance and you're out here alone.
Oh, no, I'm waiting for Jenny.
She's my partner.
Oh, she didn't seem like your partner last week.
Well, she is.
So anyway, are you feeling better? That's good.
Look, I'm glad.
I'm sorry I didn't stick around.
No, don't apologize.
There's just some people who are good in taking care of others.
Harsh, but earned.
So, do you think I get a second chance? Oh, really? Welcome to the competition round.
Look, the winner of tonight's competition will receive 10,000 dollars donated to the Jeff Griffith Center on their behalf.
So without further review, let's get our first dance who's out here.
Hilary Seems and Victoria Prize.
- "Strut your stuff" by Elizabeth Ziff - So, you're competing, huh? Yeah, Jenny wants to.
Bitch, I'm gonna kick your ass.
So what, you've got a routine? What's going on? What you're doing? I don't know.
Something like that.
Oh, so you really give a fuck, don't you? Come on, Alice.
This is, does this look like it's my thing? What is your thing? God! What's gonna make you happy these days? Please, don't.
Not today.
I don't wanna hear it.
Why? Because, Al, this is what it is.
No, it's not.
It's what you let it be.
That was respectable.
That was nice.
That was respectable.
Okay.
So next.
Let's have Jennifer Schecter and Shane McCutcheon.
- "Kurts Ballroom Tango" by Kurt Faquhar - Alright! Very nice, very nice, very nice.
Very nice.
Okay, they did fine.
Good work, good work.
Very nice.
Alright, come on now! Let's get up.
What are you looking at? Jump around! I didn't know Dance Fever was back on the air.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize Kriss Kross was looking for a new member.
- "In The Back" by Elizabeth Ziff - Nice cameltoe.
Fuck! They're not fucking around.
They're serious.
They have costumes! I see.
Wasn't it supposed to be fun? - Fun?! - Yeah! Okay.
Do you think you need to go for ??? - I think I'm good.
- Do you think or are you sure? Because you know what? They've got wigs and spandex.
This is no fucking joke.
We have no idea what they're capable of.
I'll do my best.
- Hydrate? - Yeah.
Now here the next group.
They'll push it really good.
I got it, I got it, I got it.
- Do this.
Let's do this, Alice.
- Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Alice, what's wrong? - "Boomshake" by Far East Movement - I can't, uh, I can't I don't have rythm.
- What?! - I've never had rythm.
Okay? I don't This is - What do you - a joke.
- And I was thinking.
- What are you talking about? You were the lead in "West Side Story".
Yeah, you said, "We're number one, we can't be number two".
You guys, everyone went traditional.
- We look like freaks.
- No, we don't.
We look good.
Okay, we look a little crazy, but, alright, that's not the point.
Listen.
Alright? We can do this.
You know the routine, you choreographed everything, okay? Another problem.
Why did you let me do that? I don't know how to choreograph shit.
- Put your wig on, okay? - Come on.
- You're gonna do this.
- I was a terrible Maria by the way.
You're gonna do this, okay? Just think of one thing.
Think Think Okay, look.
Everybody out there? They're here for you.
Okay? Jamie and I are gonna do this crazy ass dance for you, - alright? - It's true.
I'm in a turquoise onesie for you, okay? So pull it together.
- Alright.
Yes.
- Oh good.
- Yes, we can We're gonna - You got this.
- win this fucking thing.
- We can do this.
Yeah.
- I love you.
- Let's do it! So let's get Jamie Chen, Tasha Williams and Alice Pieszecki to stage.
- "Push It" by Salt n Peppa - How do you like me now? You see? You see this cause seemed to - 5.
5.
- 5.
5 - What's up with the 5.
5? - Yeah! This is now officially a competition.
Alright, and this is close.
It's close.
- "Low Ridin" by Far East Movement - We only get five minutes to pie! Next up we have Bette Porter and Tina Kennard.
Come on out here, you two.
- "Back To Life" by Soul to Soul - I'm so, I'm so sorry.
And we have our winner! Let's get it on.
These guys were amazing! That's the other better step.
Game on now.
Let's get it on! That was great.
That was beautiful.
- Congratulations.
- Fucking fantastic.
Good.
Still friends, cameltoe? Yep.
This is now officially a competition.
And this is close.
It's close.
So let's get our final contestor out here on stage.
Oh my god! You two were so beautiful.
You're gonna win, you're gonna win! You're gonna win! - "The Mating Game" by Bitter:Sweet - God, she's amazing! How does she do that? She's totally gonna win.
No, she's not.
She's totally gonna win.
Maybe.
Any regrets? Not a one.
Jodi got three tens! No, I don't know how you get three tens.
- I've never seen anything like that.
- Did you know - she could dance like that? - I had no idea.
She must have practised the routine for months.
You had us practising for months.
Your sense of fairplay is annoying.
I'm just saying don't be so a loser.
I'm not having lost yet all the way.
Oh yeah, that's right, two more.
Oh my god! - No, I think you were the best.
- Oh sure, really.
You're okay? You'll win the next two.
Oh my god! That was so embarassing.
We stayed in the bathroom - Whatever! Right.
- Yeah, I know.
No, I'm not lying.
Whatever, but she looked so hot tonight.
- I know, it just - Nikki, twelve o'clock.
No, the other twelve o'clock.
Behind you! Can I speak to you? Here.
Uh, get up.
Go ahead.
- "Ghosts" by Client - I'm not here to reprimand you.
I know.
So, you know that this is a fundraiser.
Obviously.
Why would I wanna be here 'til this hour? Right, exactly.
So, I was down there and I was thinking that the public is very harsh with you.
And that you have a reputation for being shallow and vain.
No, I don't.
You do.
And I was thinking that it would be really cool and great for your image and great for the cause if you were to auction off a date with yourself.
- A date with me? - Yeah.
You would raise a ton of money for the shelter, you would stand up on the stage, you would start a bidding war.
People would think you are super cool.
So much better than just donating money.
What do you think? I'll think about it.
Thank you.
What did she want? Are you okay? What? This just This reminds me of when I was about sneak out of boarding school so I could snog with Bridget Crossings.
Oh god! Whatever happened to Bridget? Oh she hooked up with Jonathan Barcley, this maths genius and It kind of broke my heart actually.
Doesn't really seem that much has changed, does that just seem I can't believe in my heart.
Dylan, I'm sorry, okay? - I'm sorry.
- No, no, no, no.
Listen.
No, no more apologies.
I think, I think that we need to just start new.
Can we do that? Alright.
Yeah.
- "Petrol" by Client - I'll meet you guys upstairs.
Excuse me.
Hi.
I would like to make a donation.
Oh, ladies and gentlemen, the lovely Nikki Stevens.
Thank you very much.
Thank you everyone.
Thank you, thank you.
So, I have an announcement to make.
That tonight I would like to auction off a date with myself to the highest bidder.
- Would you help me out? - That'd be lovely.
Oh, get ourselves ??? the 500 dollars.
- Yeah, 500 dollars right here.
- Come on, guys! Do we have six? Do we have 600 dollars? Let's go to 1,000.
Let's go over the 1,000.
Let make this really interesting and just go for 2,000 dollars.
I make really good pancakes.
Well, that sounds what waking up for.
They're not gonna get to 2,000.
- This guy over here.
- 2,000? Could you repeat that again, please? Would you please make your way up on stage? Unless someone is willing to outbid.
Motherfucker! I do believe we have the largest single donation of this event.
That's the second That's the second thing I lost.
Let's give it up, - ladies and gentlemen.
- Can I just say something? You don't have to fuck her in the bathroom anymore.
You don't have to sneack around.
I don't want you to do that.
So I bought her for you.
So you can have her whenever you want.
Thank you.
Holy shit! DJ, return of that music, please.
Everybody dance! Listen, I don't care! You can fuck whoever you want, whenever you want, fuck Nikki, fuck whoever.
I know that you need it.
It doesn't scare me.
Because I know you.
Good morning all you beautiful hearts.
You got almost get the finish line.
And what you've done here tonight is so beautiful, ladies and gentlemen.
These kids are going to be so grateful and you'll be so proud of the work you managed to do here tonight.
They'll go a long way, trust me, because when kids feel safe and they ??? explore the world ??? You should be proud of yourselves.
We're back in three minutes.
So be on the dance floor or be disqualified.
Congratulations.
Really, really great.
I don't know why I care of what you think of me.
- "Ive Been Waiting for you" by Costanza - But I do and Really? I'm gonna just I was crazy to think that a fifteen minutes nap would help.
I have to ask you a question.
What's up? Do you have feelings for Tasha? Oh god! I would never do anything I know.
Do we tell Marci about New York? You're really serious about this? It just feels really right to me.
You know, I don't know when another opportunity like this might come along.
What about the gallery? I can work from New York.
I'll probably have to be there half of the time anyway.
And our friends? I love our friends.
I love them a lot, but, you know, at a certain point I have to trust they're like a family.
You know? And just because we leave L.
A.
, doesn't mean that we're leaving them.
It's really gonna become healthy.
It will be a fresh start.
It's a new city.
It's gonna be so exciting.
Oh my god! We have to apply for schools.
- Like right now.
- I know.
- "Distant Dreamer" by Duffy - Who the hell is the guy with the microphone? Oh my god, just hang on a second.
Wait, wait, you You just can't come up on the stage.
You were at my sister's gallery.
I was.
Most of you know me as Sunset Boulevard.
But my real name is Sonny Benson and I'm a straight man who loves this gay-lesbian family.
And I hope that you could still accept me.
You lied to me.
- I tried to tell you.
- You lied to me.
- I never lied to you.
- You are a con man.
I never lied to you, girlfriend.
You assumed I trusted you! I trusted I told you things that I would never tell a man! What did you think I was? The dress didn't change the fact that I was a man! You trusted me because you felt I could be trusted.
Give me a chance.
I know I have you at a disadvantage.
And I know I know more of your stories than you know mine, but I'd love a chance to fix that.
You're one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.
And I'd love nothing better than to take you to dinner, and to know you better.
It's, uh I don't know.
Maybe she fell asleep on the bus.
I want you to know that I've never loved you more.
And I want you to be happy.
Do you wanna be with Jamie? I don't - I don't know if - It's okay.
I'm not ready to let you go.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have our last couple standing.