Top Gear (US) s06e07 Episode Script
Postal
- Here we go! Oh, my gosh.
- Oh, there he is.
- My! Now we're having some fun.
- Oh! Oh! - The United States Postal Service was created at the Second Continental Congress in 1775, and it has grown into one of the world's largest civilian organizations.
The numbers are staggering.
40% of worldwide mail is handled by the U.
S.
Postal Service.
Over 600,000 employees handle over 1/2 billion deliveries each day.
Since I've been talking, the United States Postal Service has delivered over 7 million pieces of mail.
The most important delivery vehicle in the fleet is the iconic LLV, which stands for Long Life Vehicle, and the Postal Service has about 150,000 of them.
Since beginning service in 1987, most of the LLVs have passed their 24-year lifespan, and the maintenance costs are soaring.
Now, the U.
S.
Postal Service is taking bids to build a new vehicle that will replace the trusty LLV.
It's the end of an era.
But instead of building something new, we think the United States Postal Service can save millions by repurposing vehicles that already exist.
So we've each chosen a used car we think will qualify to be the next great delivery vehicle for such an important and historic American institution.
- The reason I chose this Element is because I used to own one, and I promise you it has the most useful interior space of any vehicle I've ever owned, and that's because it's really just a big box.
That's why it's perfect for the Postal Service.
- A hearse? I know.
But it's genius.
Very low miles.
I'm pretty sure it's never been driven over 55 mile an hour.
It's got plenty of room for all your packages and letters, and you're never gonna sit in traffic.
Just turn the lights on.
People get out of your way.
- This thing is fast.
320 horsepower, 155 mile an hour top speed.
This thing is an absolute beast.
The turbocharged power gives you the power to climb up the steepest driveways.
The six-speed manual transmission also gives you the ratio you need to get to your address.
Oh, man.
I'm surprised they haven't done this already.
That's really something.
- 1998 Lincoln Town Car Executive Hearse.
This is a ride we're all gonna have to take, so you want to do it in style.
You're riding in a Lincoln.
This is the Town Car Hearse package.
There's heavy-duty suspension and brakes.
Up front, 4.
6 liter V8, and plenty of room for packages once you get rid of the dead guy.
- That thing is gigantic.
- Yeah.
You need the space.
- Yeah.
But that thing's not maneuverable at all.
Look at this, the 2003 Honda Element.
I chose the Element with cargo capacity in mind.
It has over 77 cubic feet of storage.
Its all-wheel-drive system sends power to the rear wheels to help me drive through any weather conditions, and even though it is a Honda, it was built and designed in North America.
It's the ideal delivery vehicle.
It's like a cube truck meets a Honda Civic come together.
It's amazing.
That's a blow-off valve, which means that's a turbo.
Perfect, perfect.
- Don't act like you're not impressed.
Right? - What's that? - Yeah.
Sometimes, there's a lot of mail.
- I admire your dedication.
You went from bad to worse.
- That's like the tiny backpack that you see girls wearing that you know can't fit anything.
- Have you seen how much stuff they carry around in those things? This is a 1994 Mitsubishi VR4 3,000 GT.
You know you wanted one.
The Long Life Vehicle does 0 to 60 in a whopping 17 seconds.
The Mitsubishi's aerodynamic design and twin turbo-charged V6 engine get the job done in a mere 5.
4 seconds.
So now, U.
S.
mail carriers can haul ass when they're hauling mail.
There are real distances to be covered.
This gets that done faster.
- With no storage.
- None.
- Let's go.
- Holy shnikies.
This thing's quick.
Yeah.
- Tanner mystifies me.
Not only is the car tiny, but he brought a tiny trailer.
How is that gonna work? - Postal vehicles need to carry lots of mail, but they also need to stop frequently for pickups, maneuver through tight streets, and complete their routes quickly.
So we head to a closed course on a typical residential street to test braking, handling, and acceleration.
- This looks like fun.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- Oh, man, the paint is brand-new on that thing.
- Sorry.
That was my fault.
- You are rolling death.
- Legally, you know, you're supposed to have lights on the trailer.
In a court, that's definitely his fault.
You know what? I'll go first.
You know, this is really where the Honda is in its Element.
- I see what you did there.
- That's terrible.
- The mail waits for no man.
I got my route.
You guys, watch and learn.
Any replacement for the LLV must be able to navigate tight spots in both drive and reverse, so we'll slalom through a narrow course, navigating a series of tight turns, picking up mail on the way, and then slalom back in reverse.
The fastest time wins.
But time penalties will be applied for flags left up, obstacles hit, and packages left behind.
You know what you need in a postal vehicle? You need versatility.
Now, I'm about to show these guys just how versatile this thing is.
- I like you when your mouth opens every time it revs.
Three, two, one.
Go, get your mail.
That was sad.
- That was terrible.
- Get as close as I can.
Boom.
See that? That's versatility.
- Oh, sharp turn.
- Second gate.
- Another beautiful downpour.
Almost missed it.
- All right.
Now, he's going to the big one.
- Oh, boy.
- Here goes.
- Oh, he's running around for this one.
Oh.
- That's fun.
I like it when he runs, because he doesn't move his arms.
- Oh, there's boxes and stuff.
- Oh, he forgot one.
Oh, that's treating it gently.
He's tossing the things in there.
- Yeah.
That's nice.
Oh, there's mail in the boxes still.
- Close.
- Gosh.
- And he left the mailbox open, which is a federal offense.
20 seconds.
- Okay.
- Now, we're cooking with gas.
Letter to Santa.
- Where's he going now? - He's in the grass.
That's another 10 seconds.
- It's just a blur over there of plaid.
- This is a hard job.
- Where is he now? He's off his route.
- Now, we dance.
- Oh, I see reverse lights.
- Ooh, that's close.
- There it is.
- Once here-- - You know what? I get why the postmen take so damn long.
- Look at that! - They've got a car that's even slower than that one.
Special delivery! Whoo! - Well, that was quick.
- What was my time? - Your original time was 5 minutes and 39 seconds.
- Pretty good for that many houses.
- However, ten seconds per flag you left up.
- No.
- And did you know that all mailboxes are property of the USPS even if you buy it? They don't mess around.
Then, on the big, blue one, do you see what's wrong with that picture, over there? You left it exposed.
That could be a federal offense.
So with a total of 3 minutes and 20 seconds' penalty, that is 8 minutes and 59 seconds.
- Who's going next? - Okay.
I'm in trouble.
Big girl has a wide beam, so I don't know if I'll be able to keep my foot on the pedal and reach all the way over there.
We'll have to see about that.
- Don't forget, just a mere 8 minutes and 59 seconds to beat.
- That's a crock and you know it.
You ready? - Ready.
- In three, two, one.
Don't die.
- Oh, that was impressive.
- Mailbox one.
- He's doing the reach-through.
- Yes.
- Nice.
- Who the hell's mailing all this stuff? Haven't you people heard of email? - Crossed the street.
- Oh, he forgot that flag.
Boom.
- Nope.
Ten seconds.
- Boxes.
- Look at him.
He's just a gazelle.
- Oh, he dropped one.
- He dropped the mail.
- The mail's got to get through.
- Gosh, he is flying.
- That's a federal offense.
- Now, let me go backwards.
This is where it's gonna suck.
- I wouldn't want to be behind a hearse with Adam driving backwards.
- Up, girl.
There it is.
- Oh, he's on the curb.
- Okay.
Hello, pole.
- Finish strong.
You got it.
Straight back.
- Oh, gosh! - No! - Perfect! - You got one flag down.
You stole a mailbox, and you ruined another.
- I didn't steal it.
It's only stealing if you don't put it back.
I plan on putting it back.
What was my real time? - 7:59.
Let's give it a minute penalty.
So you guys are tied.
- That's--you--those poor people will never get mail again.
That's a felony.
You can do three years for that.
- All right.
Here's the deal.
This car's not ideal for backing up through a slalom.
But nine minutes? I might have a chance.
- Three, two, one.
Go.
- Oh, it's like the trailer's not even-- - There was mail in that.
- He's trying to shake the trailer, because he knows it's a bad idea.
- Oh! That was really close.
- This is amazing.
- So far, it doesn't handle that bad, actually.
Kind of surprised.
Whoa.
Okay.
Now for the reverse part.
Handled pretty good, actually.
I'm surprised at how fun that was.
Here we go.
- He is gonna pick it up on the way back, which is really stupid.
Now, what's he doing? - Stop the clock.
- What's wrong with you? - No.
You've got to cross the line.
- Look at that.
- There you go.
- Wow.
- What was my time? - 7:59.
- No way.
It felt way faster than that.
- That's before the penalty.
- We each rack up too many penalties to count and declare it a three-way tie.
- What are we gonna do? - Well, I mean-- - We are here.
- So we decide to race the course simultaneously, and because the mail's already been picked up, this is a pure test of speed and handling.
- The mail's got to get through.
- Are you guys ready? - Let's do it.
- In three, two, one.
Go.
- Come on.
- Oh, the turbo boost wasn't happy about that, was it? - Yes, now, I'm picking up speed.
This is where the Element takes it's toll.
Oh, Adam takes a mailbox down.
Oh, the trailer.
- Stop, Adam.
Stop, stop, stop.
- What in the Sam Hell was that? - What? You almost took my trailer out right off the bat.
A real postman would never drive like that.
- Let's just get out of here, and you two clean up this mess before someone notices.
- Fine.
But I won, and I still have the mail.
I'll carry the mail for you guys, if you want.
- You can.
- What about all the stuff you didn't pick up in the first place? - You didn't win anything.
- So the tie-breaker is inconclusive, at best, despite what tiny dancer says.
So before the authorities arrive, we head to the next challenge.
- We've all heard the motto.
"Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night "stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.
" It describes the United States Postal Service perfectly.
But it's actually a quote from some ancient Greek historian describing Persian postal carriers from 500 B.
C.
But still, postal workers must endure severe weather, so we're testing how fast we can get mail in and out of our vehicles while battling the wind and rain.
The rules are simple.
Pick up letters and packages from three large mailboxes, then deliver them to nine separate mailboxes while battling a scientific simulation of rain, wind, and snow.
The fastest time wins, but penalties are added for any damaged or undelivered mail.
- The mail still has to go out in the rain and the wind, so this seems fair.
I just don't think normally the rain and the wind are controlled by two idiots.
- Are you ready? - I am ready to deliver the mail.
- Adam, you ready? In three, two, one.
Go.
- Oh, this is gonna suck.
This is gonna suck so bad.
All right.
Just a little bit of a block there.
All right.
Great.
Okay.
All right.
Okay, okay.
That is so much water! You've got to be kidding me! Oh! The original LLV has a weather-tight aluminum body that's 7'1 tall, perfect to provide shelter from wind and rain.
I'm quickly learning my Honda Element is terrible at protecting me from, well, the elements.
That just went great.
All right.
Use the car to block.
Another big advantage of the LLV is right-hand drive.
- Get them, Adam.
Get them.
- Mail carriers don't have to stop and get out for pickups and deliveries, so they're not exposed to the weather.
Man.
My door's open! Just a little wind.
I'll be fine.
Oh, you're-- Oh, come on! I'm unarmed.
- I think that was amazing.
- You did good.
How you used this as, like, a shield.
- Yeah.
Well done.
- How was my time? - Oh, well, your time was 7 minutes and 10 seconds.
- Wow.
It felt like an eternity.
I'm afraid next time I'm in the shower, I'm gonna have flashbacks and just start screaming and ducking.
You know what? I've never been more excited to say it's your turn.
- I believe him.
- I could see in Rutledge's eyes that payback is what's on his mind.
Now, I know he's gonna unleash the wrath of all-fury rain.
I'm just gonna have to drive like the wind, and hopefully, Rut can't keep up.
- All right.
Let's do this thing.
In three, two, one.
Go.
- Let her rip! - There you go.
You're welcome.
You're welcome! - You can go to hell! - Don't forget your packages.
- With so many boxes, the trunk won't close.
So maybe it's not the best for easy access, and I'm also doubting the all-weather performance of the trailer.
- You better run, son! This is the greatest day of my life.
I'ma take that bumper off.
Get him, Adam! More flour! Yeah.
Would you believe you're slower than me? - No! - Yeah.
- What? - Yeah.
- There's no way that was slower.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
It was 4:29.
- Oh, sweet.
- But one, two, three, four right there.
Federal offense.
- Wait a second.
Let me just.
Let me just-- - Those didn't have a proper address on them.
- Did you see the gates you hit? - Did you get any of the mail? Because everything looks soaked.
- Look at all the undelivered mail.
- Did you find it hard in inclement weather to get the mail back out of your trailer? - Yeah.
- That's unfortunate.
- Okay.
- Four-- - So 4:27.
- Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
So you're looking at about 14 minutes and 30 seconds.
- Come on.
- Yeah.
- Give me the watch.
- Here you go.
- Let's see how many of those boxes you get in there.
That rain is hard.
- Okay, here's the thing.
I'm wearing a helmet, because I don't trust Tanner at all.
Nope.
He'll aim right for my head and try and blind me.
All right.
The mail's got to get through.
- Adam, you ready? Here we go.
In three, two, one.
Go.
Don't point that at me.
Don't point that at me.
- Here we go, son.
- Go, go! - Oh, it's cold! Whoa, is that cold! - Coming up, it's man versus machine, when a bike messenger attempts to prove that cars aren't always the best way to deliver mail.
- Oh, there he is.
Oh, no.
- We're in southern California, testing the cars we think can replace the U.
S.
Postal Service's aging workhorse, the LLV, and severe weather performance is essential.
- Oh, it's cold! Whoa, is that cold! - Yeah! Good call on the side door.
- Oh, don't flood my car.
- Oh, man, this is the best thing ever.
- Hey, this is your last chance.
- There he is.
- Yeah, Adam! Oh, he's jumping! He jumped the water.
- That was awesome.
- Oh, where's he going? Where's he going? Oh, you are kidding me.
- Stop the clock! - I don't know if that was delivering the mail, but that's the most fun I've had in weeks.
- If that's what it's like being a postal worker, we are in the wrong line of work, because that is sweet, dude.
I will give you credit.
Blocking the fan with this barge of a car was brilliant.
- That seemed like it took a lot of extra time, though--blocking the wind.
What was the time on that? - 8:53.
- What? - I win.
I think what we can take away from this is that these are all very different, but like, the Element-- l just feel like I just need a couple little things, and then it will be perfect.
Just a little tweak.
- You know what? All I need is to make an adjustment myself, and the hearse will be perfect, and when I kill you, I'll have a way of getting your body to the morgue.
- That's nice.
- The Mitsubishi's perfect.
It doesn't need any modifications.
- The sad thing is he believes that.
- Let's get to work.
- All right.
- While Rud and Adam waste their time trying to improve their terrible choices, I'm going up against the ultimate urban delivery vehicle.
But first, I'm swapping my Mitsubishi for the latest and greatest pony car.
In 1860, the U.
S.
Postal Service put horses to work, and the Pony Express created a network of riders and horses to make coast to coast deliveries in just ten days.
At the time, the journey took most people six weeks.
Now, over 150 years later, I'm making a delivery in an entirely different kind of pony.
This is the new Ford Mustang Shelby GT 350.
It's got some pretty big shoes to fill.
The original was a legend.
It redefined what a street legal car could get away with, and it blurred the lines between road and track.
Those '65 GT 350s fetched prices upwards of $900,000 The last few years, so this thing better be good.
The interior of this car is frankly a repeat.
The exterior's so loud and proud, the interior is all business.
You get inside, and it's dark.
It's not distracting.
Got a few little bits of aluminum, red ring around the shift knob, a start button stolen from the Ferrari parts bin.
But essentially, this thing is all about driving fast.
0 to 60 in 4.
3 seconds.
In only nine seconds, you hit the 100-mile-an-hour mark, and it'll top out at 175.
The sound is like engine suicide.
It revs so high.
But the power is so smooth, it just keeps coming.
It sounds so crazy.
I swear I'm gonna blow this thing up, but it just keeps pulling.
It's awesome.
That ridiculous exhaust sound is from a flat plane crank V8.
Without getting too techie, it means more power, lighter weight, and higher revs.
It's so good at making cars go fast, it's the only type of V8 Ferrari uses.
Ford has done such a good job at locking in the GT 350's place in automotive history that even these new ones are going for nearly double the sticker price at the dealership.
With this balance in performance and absolute function, I think this is probably one of the better-looking Mustangs since--wow.
Well, since that one.
The P51 Mustang is truly a thing of beauty, and with 1,490 horsepower, it'll max out around 440 miles an hour.
But it was made for a single purpose--to shoot other planes out of the sky.
But to me, the Shelby Mustang is not a one-trick pony.
No.
This is a horse that's just as comfortable running around the track as it is galloping down Main Street, America.
I think it can be as good a delivery vehicle for today as the Pony Express was back in the 1800s.
So to test this, I head to the sunny streets of Long Beach.
Don't think of this as a midsize city with palm trees, beaches, and a year-round temperate climate.
Think of it as a postal proving ground.
This is an obstacle course for postal delivery, and it is a perfect place to test the GT 350 Against one of the most capable delivery vehicles in the world.
How you doing? - Doing good, sir.
- You ready for this? - Yeah.
Are you ready? - Yeah.
That was Josh Boothby.
He's currently ranked number one in the world for fixed-gear freestyle, and I'm gonna beat him.
In crowded, urban environments, traffic, speed limits, and parking limit cars more than bikes, which is why pedal power is often preferred over horsepower.
The delivery race starts in a park by the docks, goes over a bridge, and then to the Long Beach Harbor Lighthouse, where we'll pick up a package.
There, Josh will switch bikes, just like the Pony Express switched horses.
Then, we race across downtown to a mailbox on the top floor of a parking garage.
Whoever delivers the package first wins.
Three, two, one.
Here we go.
Oh, yeah.
Off to an early lead.
Whoa, there's a curb.
Curb, curb, curb, curb.
And he's gone.
- Coming up, it's a race to the finish when The Stig goes postal.
- Oh! - The U.
S.
Postal Service is looking for a new postal delivery vehicle, and we're in California, testing our choices.
But while Rut and Adam make last-minute modifications, I'm in Long Beach, racing a bike messenger to see which is the best urban delivery vehicle.
Three, two, one.
Here we go.
Oh, yeah.
Off to an early lead.
Whoa, there's a curb.
Curb, curb, curb, curb.
And he's gone.
We've got a straightaway.
Ha ha! 526 horsepower, baby.
That's what I'm talking about.
Nothing like 100 miles an hour on a public bridge! In the first leg, we're racing across the Los Angeles River to pick up a package at the Long Beach Harbor Lighthouse.
From there, it's a race to the finish, a mailbox on top of a parking garage downtown.
This is not the right way.
Come on, baby.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Yeah.
And there's the park.
Now, while we've got the road closed, we can go as fast as we want.
In the park, the speed limit is 5 miles an hour.
Morning, gentlemen.
Here's the lighthouse.
I'm almost going 6 miles an hour.
Oh, no.
There he is.
I can't go any faster.
No, no, no! There's the package, there.
Did you put your parking brake on? - Yeah.
Of course, I put my--oh, nope.
Sorry.
Stay off the grass.
It's a public park.
All right.
Here we go.
Okay.
He's got a head start on me now.
Dang it.
I really needed to beat him there.
I didn't know this 5 miles an hour thing was gonna last so long.
Cities have restrictions, like speed limits, that are a big advantage for bike deliverers.
Ten more yards.
There's the road, right there.
Come on.
Just jump one little curb.
And it's on! My advantage is 526 horsepower.
I can feel the magnetic ride suspension really helping me.
Oh, this is part of the Grand Prix track right now.
This is the fountain-- the famous fountain.
Rutledge would be so jealous right now.
Whoo-hoo! Okay.
Got to brake.
Oh, there he is! Oh, no! Give me the ticket! Unbelievable.
Oh, you thought you were clever.
That hill looks steep.
Guess what.
Sixth floor, my man.
Sixth floor.
Where's he going? Elevator.
- Coming up, tiny dancer and his tiny trailer.
- Oh-ho! - The U.
S.
Postal Service needs a new delivery vehicle, and we're testing our choices for this important job.
But while Rud and Adam work on their cars, I'm gonna race the ultimate urban delivery vehicle--horsepower versus pedal power.
This is when those extra-grippy tires are really helping to deliver the mail.
Yeah! Let's roll.
What? You've got to be kidding me.
- Slow as a worm, my brother.
Slow as a worm.
- Oh, wow.
You seem kind of out of breath.
- I'm a little-- - Yeah.
That's too bad.
Well, you know what? I still got enough juice left in me to do this.
You're welcome! I'm gonna be a post man! I'm gonna be a post man! After a crushing defeat, I am back in my 3,000 GT.
Rud and Adam are meeting me in this creepy, abandoned neighborhood for the final test of our delivery vehicles.
After working on their cars for the past 24 hours, their modifications better be good.
I'm not going down without a fight.
- Ooh, doggy.
- Right? - You made it right-hand drive.
- I converted it to right-hand drive.
- With a chain.
- Is that brilliant or what? - No.
That's so dangerous.
- Hey, you know what? That's very clever.
- Thank you.
- A unique feature of the LLV is that the steering wheel is on the right side of the car.
Because we drive on the right side of the road in the U.
S.
, this makes it much easier to deliver letters.
With a chain running from the new steering column on the right-hand side to the old steering column on the left, I'll be able to drive and deliver packages.
- Although I noticed you didn't move everything to the right-hand drive.
- Yeah.
I mean, all the accessories are still on the original column, like lights and turn signals.
Look, this is the best vehicle here for the Postal Service.
I just made it better by converting it to right-hand drive.
- Are you thinking about the postal carrier? I am.
The hearse is the most comfortable one here.
- Is that a gun? - It's not a gun.
It is a mail delivery system.
You're sitting in a leather seat in air conditioning, and you never have to get out.
You put your letters in here.
Boom.
Shoot them right in the mailbox.
This is for your larger items and gives you a little more distance.
- Wow.
- What'd you do? - Well, as you know, the Mitsubishi Postal Delivery System's already nearly perfect.
Why mess up perfection? - So you did nothing.
- Absolutely nothing.
- No.
Faster is better when it comes to mail delivery, and this is the fastest machine here.
Right? - Race boy make think his car's perfect, but this final challenge determines once and for all which car is the best delivery vehicle.
The postal service requires safe and efficient mail delivery.
So the rules are simple.
Six houses each have a number on the mailbox.
One at a time, we must deliver the correct mail to the correct mailbox as quickly as possible.
But there's a twist.
- Is it--lt's the postman Stig.
Yes.
- All right.
So I guess he's gonna set the benchmark or die trying.
Oh, that thing sounds not-impressive.
This might be the time when we can beat The Stig.
- See how slow that thing is? - You know, when we go, you can go first.
- Right? - Perfect.
- Oh, it's funny.
It's gonna take me a little while to get used to it.
- The original LLV was so perfectly designed, the U.
S.
Postal Service ordered about 160,000 of them at a cost of over $1 billion.
To prove our replacements are worthy, we're competing on a closed course against the legendary vehicle with the legendary, anonymous racing driver at the wheel.
Whoever comes closest to The Stig's time wins.
- Six mailboxes.
The Stig in the LLV.
All right, Stig.
You ready? - I think that's a yes.
- Here we go.
Stig delivering the mail in three, two, one.
Go! - You know, it's a little quicker than I thought it would be.
- Right? - Well, that's one.
- I love that The Stig is hanging out in the LLV.
Look, look, look, look.
I can see The Stig.
- That thing is faster than your Element.
Oh! Did he jump the curb? - Man, those things are cool.
You know, when the Post Office sells those, I might want to get one.
- Here we go.
Of course, you do.
- With this massive fleet of LLVs retiring, they're becoming available to private buyers, which is where this one came from.
- That's good, there.
- With the door open.
- How'd he do? - 2 minutes and 37 seconds.
- Is that good? - That's the benchmark.
You should go first.
- Yeah.
- I plan on just going hammer down.
Yeah.
I got to run to that damn trailer to get these letters out.
But you know what? I think the distance that we're gonna cover is gonna help me make up for that.
- So there's a box in your trailer with a bunch of envelopes.
There are six envelopes.
- I guess that's his start.
Okay.
That'll work.
- All right.
Where's the box? Where's the box? - That's good.
- Got it.
- Good for you.
- Just leave somebody's mortgage payment on the ground, you animal! - That thing just backfired.
I think that's a federal offense, and I think he might have Fousted that car.
Most of the time, the mail isn't delivered by people who seem like complete lunatics behind the wheel.
You know? - Yeah.
- Oh, there he is.
If he was working for the post office, he would definitely be fired.
Look.
He missed that mailbox.
Doesn't that car have anti-lock brakes? - He's such a dope.
- Whoa.
- We're in an abandoned neighborhood on a closed course.
We're testing vehicles we believe can replace the U.
S.
Postal Service Long Life Vehicle when it's retired.
And during a race to see who can deliver letters fastest, Tanner's out of control.
- Whoa! Did you stop the time? - I did.
- What an idiot.
- We need to leave that running? - You just gonna let-- - I got to leave it running, 'cause the-- - Let it cool down, right? Don't want to bake any oil in those turbos.
Right? - Yeah.
- Let me ask you something.
How do you feel you did? - Pretty good.
- You missed a mailbox.
You lost your trailer.
For all we know, it went right into a children's playground.
- So let's just say you lost, and you'd be fired.
- What was the actual time? - Five minutes and ten seconds.
- Basically, twice as long as The Stig.
- Yeah.
- Let's see you do better.
- Gladly.
- Yeah.
- I'll go next.
- Okay.
- Hope the chain on your steering doesn't accidentally come off or anything.
- This might be the first chance that I've ever had in my life to beat The Stig at something.
- Ready.
Set.
Go.
- Here we go.
Boom.
Right-hand drive.
There's number two, and I'm out.
There we go, Element.
Get it.
Oh, there it is.
Boom.
Okay.
Number four.
Watch out for the trees.
Oh, boy.
Come on.
Open up.
- He's at 2:11 right now.
- So hopefully, that means he's at number two.
- Here's number five.
I am flying.
Come on, Element.
- Oh, no.
He's coming around the last corner.
- Boom.
Number six.
Yahtzee! Whoo! - Look at him.
- I stomped you.
Did I cut his time in half? - 2:43.
- 2:43? That's great.
What was The Stig's time? - 2:37.
- 2:37.
- Oh! I am the man.
- Take this.
- I cannot wait to try out my new mail delivery system.
Now, this wad has been specially designed and sized.
You open this up, put this back, put the wad in, and you take a letter and put it in the chamber.
It goes underneath.
You close this, lock it, shoot it.
The wad goes over the letter, blows through the mailbox door, and the letter drafts its way right into the box.
It's genius.
- Adam, don't forget.
Time to beat--2:43.
- Got it.
- In three, two, one.
Go, deliver the mail.
Hit the deck! - To letter one.
- How is this gonna work? - Fire in the hole! - It just blew it over.
- I think that cannon might be a bad idea.
- Number two.
Fire in the hole! - Oh, look at that thing go.
- It's ominous when it goes through a neighborhood like this.
- Fire in the hole! Special delivery.
- Did you see the mail shoot out of his passenger window? - Yes.
- This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh, it actually went in the thing.
Did you see that? Oh, my God.
- I think it bent the door in.
- Stop the time! - That's it, man.
Okay.
You blew that mailbox completely over.
- And then, the letter just floated to the ground next to it.
- It's delivered.
It's not my fault they bought a cheap mailbox.
- Okay.
So this one--all right.
Fine The right-hand drive made a big difference.
The trailer was a bad idea for this particular thing.
- The Element, out of the three vehicles, you have to admit, did the best.
But it's not perfect.
I mean, there's a reason that that LLV has stood the test of time.
It's pretty good at what it does.
- The Element was pretty good.
- Thank you.
I know that was hard for you to say.
- So hard.
- You know what? I'll drive.
Come on.
Watch out for that old milk.
- I'm not okay with this.
- Neither am I.
- My Element is definitely the best delivery vehicle, which is why it won.
- Hold on, fellows.
- Okay.
Holding on.
- But the Postal Service wants something new, so we won't see a fleet of red, white, and blue, pre-owned Honda Elements anytime soon.
- You know, you still have the goggles on.
- I don't trust him.
- I, for one, am excited to see the next generation delivery vehicle the Post Office picks.
But one thing is certain.
The iconic and venerable Long Life Vehicle will be missed.
You guys all right back there? - Yeah.
Great.
- Yeah.
- Oh, there he is.
- My! Now we're having some fun.
- Oh! Oh! - The United States Postal Service was created at the Second Continental Congress in 1775, and it has grown into one of the world's largest civilian organizations.
The numbers are staggering.
40% of worldwide mail is handled by the U.
S.
Postal Service.
Over 600,000 employees handle over 1/2 billion deliveries each day.
Since I've been talking, the United States Postal Service has delivered over 7 million pieces of mail.
The most important delivery vehicle in the fleet is the iconic LLV, which stands for Long Life Vehicle, and the Postal Service has about 150,000 of them.
Since beginning service in 1987, most of the LLVs have passed their 24-year lifespan, and the maintenance costs are soaring.
Now, the U.
S.
Postal Service is taking bids to build a new vehicle that will replace the trusty LLV.
It's the end of an era.
But instead of building something new, we think the United States Postal Service can save millions by repurposing vehicles that already exist.
So we've each chosen a used car we think will qualify to be the next great delivery vehicle for such an important and historic American institution.
- The reason I chose this Element is because I used to own one, and I promise you it has the most useful interior space of any vehicle I've ever owned, and that's because it's really just a big box.
That's why it's perfect for the Postal Service.
- A hearse? I know.
But it's genius.
Very low miles.
I'm pretty sure it's never been driven over 55 mile an hour.
It's got plenty of room for all your packages and letters, and you're never gonna sit in traffic.
Just turn the lights on.
People get out of your way.
- This thing is fast.
320 horsepower, 155 mile an hour top speed.
This thing is an absolute beast.
The turbocharged power gives you the power to climb up the steepest driveways.
The six-speed manual transmission also gives you the ratio you need to get to your address.
Oh, man.
I'm surprised they haven't done this already.
That's really something.
- 1998 Lincoln Town Car Executive Hearse.
This is a ride we're all gonna have to take, so you want to do it in style.
You're riding in a Lincoln.
This is the Town Car Hearse package.
There's heavy-duty suspension and brakes.
Up front, 4.
6 liter V8, and plenty of room for packages once you get rid of the dead guy.
- That thing is gigantic.
- Yeah.
You need the space.
- Yeah.
But that thing's not maneuverable at all.
Look at this, the 2003 Honda Element.
I chose the Element with cargo capacity in mind.
It has over 77 cubic feet of storage.
Its all-wheel-drive system sends power to the rear wheels to help me drive through any weather conditions, and even though it is a Honda, it was built and designed in North America.
It's the ideal delivery vehicle.
It's like a cube truck meets a Honda Civic come together.
It's amazing.
That's a blow-off valve, which means that's a turbo.
Perfect, perfect.
- Don't act like you're not impressed.
Right? - What's that? - Yeah.
Sometimes, there's a lot of mail.
- I admire your dedication.
You went from bad to worse.
- That's like the tiny backpack that you see girls wearing that you know can't fit anything.
- Have you seen how much stuff they carry around in those things? This is a 1994 Mitsubishi VR4 3,000 GT.
You know you wanted one.
The Long Life Vehicle does 0 to 60 in a whopping 17 seconds.
The Mitsubishi's aerodynamic design and twin turbo-charged V6 engine get the job done in a mere 5.
4 seconds.
So now, U.
S.
mail carriers can haul ass when they're hauling mail.
There are real distances to be covered.
This gets that done faster.
- With no storage.
- None.
- Let's go.
- Holy shnikies.
This thing's quick.
Yeah.
- Tanner mystifies me.
Not only is the car tiny, but he brought a tiny trailer.
How is that gonna work? - Postal vehicles need to carry lots of mail, but they also need to stop frequently for pickups, maneuver through tight streets, and complete their routes quickly.
So we head to a closed course on a typical residential street to test braking, handling, and acceleration.
- This looks like fun.
- Yeah.
- Oh.
- Oh, man, the paint is brand-new on that thing.
- Sorry.
That was my fault.
- You are rolling death.
- Legally, you know, you're supposed to have lights on the trailer.
In a court, that's definitely his fault.
You know what? I'll go first.
You know, this is really where the Honda is in its Element.
- I see what you did there.
- That's terrible.
- The mail waits for no man.
I got my route.
You guys, watch and learn.
Any replacement for the LLV must be able to navigate tight spots in both drive and reverse, so we'll slalom through a narrow course, navigating a series of tight turns, picking up mail on the way, and then slalom back in reverse.
The fastest time wins.
But time penalties will be applied for flags left up, obstacles hit, and packages left behind.
You know what you need in a postal vehicle? You need versatility.
Now, I'm about to show these guys just how versatile this thing is.
- I like you when your mouth opens every time it revs.
Three, two, one.
Go, get your mail.
That was sad.
- That was terrible.
- Get as close as I can.
Boom.
See that? That's versatility.
- Oh, sharp turn.
- Second gate.
- Another beautiful downpour.
Almost missed it.
- All right.
Now, he's going to the big one.
- Oh, boy.
- Here goes.
- Oh, he's running around for this one.
Oh.
- That's fun.
I like it when he runs, because he doesn't move his arms.
- Oh, there's boxes and stuff.
- Oh, he forgot one.
Oh, that's treating it gently.
He's tossing the things in there.
- Yeah.
That's nice.
Oh, there's mail in the boxes still.
- Close.
- Gosh.
- And he left the mailbox open, which is a federal offense.
20 seconds.
- Okay.
- Now, we're cooking with gas.
Letter to Santa.
- Where's he going now? - He's in the grass.
That's another 10 seconds.
- It's just a blur over there of plaid.
- This is a hard job.
- Where is he now? He's off his route.
- Now, we dance.
- Oh, I see reverse lights.
- Ooh, that's close.
- There it is.
- Once here-- - You know what? I get why the postmen take so damn long.
- Look at that! - They've got a car that's even slower than that one.
Special delivery! Whoo! - Well, that was quick.
- What was my time? - Your original time was 5 minutes and 39 seconds.
- Pretty good for that many houses.
- However, ten seconds per flag you left up.
- No.
- And did you know that all mailboxes are property of the USPS even if you buy it? They don't mess around.
Then, on the big, blue one, do you see what's wrong with that picture, over there? You left it exposed.
That could be a federal offense.
So with a total of 3 minutes and 20 seconds' penalty, that is 8 minutes and 59 seconds.
- Who's going next? - Okay.
I'm in trouble.
Big girl has a wide beam, so I don't know if I'll be able to keep my foot on the pedal and reach all the way over there.
We'll have to see about that.
- Don't forget, just a mere 8 minutes and 59 seconds to beat.
- That's a crock and you know it.
You ready? - Ready.
- In three, two, one.
Don't die.
- Oh, that was impressive.
- Mailbox one.
- He's doing the reach-through.
- Yes.
- Nice.
- Who the hell's mailing all this stuff? Haven't you people heard of email? - Crossed the street.
- Oh, he forgot that flag.
Boom.
- Nope.
Ten seconds.
- Boxes.
- Look at him.
He's just a gazelle.
- Oh, he dropped one.
- He dropped the mail.
- The mail's got to get through.
- Gosh, he is flying.
- That's a federal offense.
- Now, let me go backwards.
This is where it's gonna suck.
- I wouldn't want to be behind a hearse with Adam driving backwards.
- Up, girl.
There it is.
- Oh, he's on the curb.
- Okay.
Hello, pole.
- Finish strong.
You got it.
Straight back.
- Oh, gosh! - No! - Perfect! - You got one flag down.
You stole a mailbox, and you ruined another.
- I didn't steal it.
It's only stealing if you don't put it back.
I plan on putting it back.
What was my real time? - 7:59.
Let's give it a minute penalty.
So you guys are tied.
- That's--you--those poor people will never get mail again.
That's a felony.
You can do three years for that.
- All right.
Here's the deal.
This car's not ideal for backing up through a slalom.
But nine minutes? I might have a chance.
- Three, two, one.
Go.
- Oh, it's like the trailer's not even-- - There was mail in that.
- He's trying to shake the trailer, because he knows it's a bad idea.
- Oh! That was really close.
- This is amazing.
- So far, it doesn't handle that bad, actually.
Kind of surprised.
Whoa.
Okay.
Now for the reverse part.
Handled pretty good, actually.
I'm surprised at how fun that was.
Here we go.
- He is gonna pick it up on the way back, which is really stupid.
Now, what's he doing? - Stop the clock.
- What's wrong with you? - No.
You've got to cross the line.
- Look at that.
- There you go.
- Wow.
- What was my time? - 7:59.
- No way.
It felt way faster than that.
- That's before the penalty.
- We each rack up too many penalties to count and declare it a three-way tie.
- What are we gonna do? - Well, I mean-- - We are here.
- So we decide to race the course simultaneously, and because the mail's already been picked up, this is a pure test of speed and handling.
- The mail's got to get through.
- Are you guys ready? - Let's do it.
- In three, two, one.
Go.
- Come on.
- Oh, the turbo boost wasn't happy about that, was it? - Yes, now, I'm picking up speed.
This is where the Element takes it's toll.
Oh, Adam takes a mailbox down.
Oh, the trailer.
- Stop, Adam.
Stop, stop, stop.
- What in the Sam Hell was that? - What? You almost took my trailer out right off the bat.
A real postman would never drive like that.
- Let's just get out of here, and you two clean up this mess before someone notices.
- Fine.
But I won, and I still have the mail.
I'll carry the mail for you guys, if you want.
- You can.
- What about all the stuff you didn't pick up in the first place? - You didn't win anything.
- So the tie-breaker is inconclusive, at best, despite what tiny dancer says.
So before the authorities arrive, we head to the next challenge.
- We've all heard the motto.
"Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night "stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.
" It describes the United States Postal Service perfectly.
But it's actually a quote from some ancient Greek historian describing Persian postal carriers from 500 B.
C.
But still, postal workers must endure severe weather, so we're testing how fast we can get mail in and out of our vehicles while battling the wind and rain.
The rules are simple.
Pick up letters and packages from three large mailboxes, then deliver them to nine separate mailboxes while battling a scientific simulation of rain, wind, and snow.
The fastest time wins, but penalties are added for any damaged or undelivered mail.
- The mail still has to go out in the rain and the wind, so this seems fair.
I just don't think normally the rain and the wind are controlled by two idiots.
- Are you ready? - I am ready to deliver the mail.
- Adam, you ready? In three, two, one.
Go.
- Oh, this is gonna suck.
This is gonna suck so bad.
All right.
Just a little bit of a block there.
All right.
Great.
Okay.
All right.
Okay, okay.
That is so much water! You've got to be kidding me! Oh! The original LLV has a weather-tight aluminum body that's 7'1 tall, perfect to provide shelter from wind and rain.
I'm quickly learning my Honda Element is terrible at protecting me from, well, the elements.
That just went great.
All right.
Use the car to block.
Another big advantage of the LLV is right-hand drive.
- Get them, Adam.
Get them.
- Mail carriers don't have to stop and get out for pickups and deliveries, so they're not exposed to the weather.
Man.
My door's open! Just a little wind.
I'll be fine.
Oh, you're-- Oh, come on! I'm unarmed.
- I think that was amazing.
- You did good.
How you used this as, like, a shield.
- Yeah.
Well done.
- How was my time? - Oh, well, your time was 7 minutes and 10 seconds.
- Wow.
It felt like an eternity.
I'm afraid next time I'm in the shower, I'm gonna have flashbacks and just start screaming and ducking.
You know what? I've never been more excited to say it's your turn.
- I believe him.
- I could see in Rutledge's eyes that payback is what's on his mind.
Now, I know he's gonna unleash the wrath of all-fury rain.
I'm just gonna have to drive like the wind, and hopefully, Rut can't keep up.
- All right.
Let's do this thing.
In three, two, one.
Go.
- Let her rip! - There you go.
You're welcome.
You're welcome! - You can go to hell! - Don't forget your packages.
- With so many boxes, the trunk won't close.
So maybe it's not the best for easy access, and I'm also doubting the all-weather performance of the trailer.
- You better run, son! This is the greatest day of my life.
I'ma take that bumper off.
Get him, Adam! More flour! Yeah.
Would you believe you're slower than me? - No! - Yeah.
- What? - Yeah.
- There's no way that was slower.
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
It was 4:29.
- Oh, sweet.
- But one, two, three, four right there.
Federal offense.
- Wait a second.
Let me just.
Let me just-- - Those didn't have a proper address on them.
- Did you see the gates you hit? - Did you get any of the mail? Because everything looks soaked.
- Look at all the undelivered mail.
- Did you find it hard in inclement weather to get the mail back out of your trailer? - Yeah.
- That's unfortunate.
- Okay.
- Four-- - So 4:27.
- Five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
So you're looking at about 14 minutes and 30 seconds.
- Come on.
- Yeah.
- Give me the watch.
- Here you go.
- Let's see how many of those boxes you get in there.
That rain is hard.
- Okay, here's the thing.
I'm wearing a helmet, because I don't trust Tanner at all.
Nope.
He'll aim right for my head and try and blind me.
All right.
The mail's got to get through.
- Adam, you ready? Here we go.
In three, two, one.
Go.
Don't point that at me.
Don't point that at me.
- Here we go, son.
- Go, go! - Oh, it's cold! Whoa, is that cold! - Coming up, it's man versus machine, when a bike messenger attempts to prove that cars aren't always the best way to deliver mail.
- Oh, there he is.
Oh, no.
- We're in southern California, testing the cars we think can replace the U.
S.
Postal Service's aging workhorse, the LLV, and severe weather performance is essential.
- Oh, it's cold! Whoa, is that cold! - Yeah! Good call on the side door.
- Oh, don't flood my car.
- Oh, man, this is the best thing ever.
- Hey, this is your last chance.
- There he is.
- Yeah, Adam! Oh, he's jumping! He jumped the water.
- That was awesome.
- Oh, where's he going? Where's he going? Oh, you are kidding me.
- Stop the clock! - I don't know if that was delivering the mail, but that's the most fun I've had in weeks.
- If that's what it's like being a postal worker, we are in the wrong line of work, because that is sweet, dude.
I will give you credit.
Blocking the fan with this barge of a car was brilliant.
- That seemed like it took a lot of extra time, though--blocking the wind.
What was the time on that? - 8:53.
- What? - I win.
I think what we can take away from this is that these are all very different, but like, the Element-- l just feel like I just need a couple little things, and then it will be perfect.
Just a little tweak.
- You know what? All I need is to make an adjustment myself, and the hearse will be perfect, and when I kill you, I'll have a way of getting your body to the morgue.
- That's nice.
- The Mitsubishi's perfect.
It doesn't need any modifications.
- The sad thing is he believes that.
- Let's get to work.
- All right.
- While Rud and Adam waste their time trying to improve their terrible choices, I'm going up against the ultimate urban delivery vehicle.
But first, I'm swapping my Mitsubishi for the latest and greatest pony car.
In 1860, the U.
S.
Postal Service put horses to work, and the Pony Express created a network of riders and horses to make coast to coast deliveries in just ten days.
At the time, the journey took most people six weeks.
Now, over 150 years later, I'm making a delivery in an entirely different kind of pony.
This is the new Ford Mustang Shelby GT 350.
It's got some pretty big shoes to fill.
The original was a legend.
It redefined what a street legal car could get away with, and it blurred the lines between road and track.
Those '65 GT 350s fetched prices upwards of $900,000 The last few years, so this thing better be good.
The interior of this car is frankly a repeat.
The exterior's so loud and proud, the interior is all business.
You get inside, and it's dark.
It's not distracting.
Got a few little bits of aluminum, red ring around the shift knob, a start button stolen from the Ferrari parts bin.
But essentially, this thing is all about driving fast.
0 to 60 in 4.
3 seconds.
In only nine seconds, you hit the 100-mile-an-hour mark, and it'll top out at 175.
The sound is like engine suicide.
It revs so high.
But the power is so smooth, it just keeps coming.
It sounds so crazy.
I swear I'm gonna blow this thing up, but it just keeps pulling.
It's awesome.
That ridiculous exhaust sound is from a flat plane crank V8.
Without getting too techie, it means more power, lighter weight, and higher revs.
It's so good at making cars go fast, it's the only type of V8 Ferrari uses.
Ford has done such a good job at locking in the GT 350's place in automotive history that even these new ones are going for nearly double the sticker price at the dealership.
With this balance in performance and absolute function, I think this is probably one of the better-looking Mustangs since--wow.
Well, since that one.
The P51 Mustang is truly a thing of beauty, and with 1,490 horsepower, it'll max out around 440 miles an hour.
But it was made for a single purpose--to shoot other planes out of the sky.
But to me, the Shelby Mustang is not a one-trick pony.
No.
This is a horse that's just as comfortable running around the track as it is galloping down Main Street, America.
I think it can be as good a delivery vehicle for today as the Pony Express was back in the 1800s.
So to test this, I head to the sunny streets of Long Beach.
Don't think of this as a midsize city with palm trees, beaches, and a year-round temperate climate.
Think of it as a postal proving ground.
This is an obstacle course for postal delivery, and it is a perfect place to test the GT 350 Against one of the most capable delivery vehicles in the world.
How you doing? - Doing good, sir.
- You ready for this? - Yeah.
Are you ready? - Yeah.
That was Josh Boothby.
He's currently ranked number one in the world for fixed-gear freestyle, and I'm gonna beat him.
In crowded, urban environments, traffic, speed limits, and parking limit cars more than bikes, which is why pedal power is often preferred over horsepower.
The delivery race starts in a park by the docks, goes over a bridge, and then to the Long Beach Harbor Lighthouse, where we'll pick up a package.
There, Josh will switch bikes, just like the Pony Express switched horses.
Then, we race across downtown to a mailbox on the top floor of a parking garage.
Whoever delivers the package first wins.
Three, two, one.
Here we go.
Oh, yeah.
Off to an early lead.
Whoa, there's a curb.
Curb, curb, curb, curb.
And he's gone.
- Coming up, it's a race to the finish when The Stig goes postal.
- Oh! - The U.
S.
Postal Service is looking for a new postal delivery vehicle, and we're in California, testing our choices.
But while Rut and Adam make last-minute modifications, I'm in Long Beach, racing a bike messenger to see which is the best urban delivery vehicle.
Three, two, one.
Here we go.
Oh, yeah.
Off to an early lead.
Whoa, there's a curb.
Curb, curb, curb, curb.
And he's gone.
We've got a straightaway.
Ha ha! 526 horsepower, baby.
That's what I'm talking about.
Nothing like 100 miles an hour on a public bridge! In the first leg, we're racing across the Los Angeles River to pick up a package at the Long Beach Harbor Lighthouse.
From there, it's a race to the finish, a mailbox on top of a parking garage downtown.
This is not the right way.
Come on, baby.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
Yeah.
And there's the park.
Now, while we've got the road closed, we can go as fast as we want.
In the park, the speed limit is 5 miles an hour.
Morning, gentlemen.
Here's the lighthouse.
I'm almost going 6 miles an hour.
Oh, no.
There he is.
I can't go any faster.
No, no, no! There's the package, there.
Did you put your parking brake on? - Yeah.
Of course, I put my--oh, nope.
Sorry.
Stay off the grass.
It's a public park.
All right.
Here we go.
Okay.
He's got a head start on me now.
Dang it.
I really needed to beat him there.
I didn't know this 5 miles an hour thing was gonna last so long.
Cities have restrictions, like speed limits, that are a big advantage for bike deliverers.
Ten more yards.
There's the road, right there.
Come on.
Just jump one little curb.
And it's on! My advantage is 526 horsepower.
I can feel the magnetic ride suspension really helping me.
Oh, this is part of the Grand Prix track right now.
This is the fountain-- the famous fountain.
Rutledge would be so jealous right now.
Whoo-hoo! Okay.
Got to brake.
Oh, there he is! Oh, no! Give me the ticket! Unbelievable.
Oh, you thought you were clever.
That hill looks steep.
Guess what.
Sixth floor, my man.
Sixth floor.
Where's he going? Elevator.
- Coming up, tiny dancer and his tiny trailer.
- Oh-ho! - The U.
S.
Postal Service needs a new delivery vehicle, and we're testing our choices for this important job.
But while Rud and Adam work on their cars, I'm gonna race the ultimate urban delivery vehicle--horsepower versus pedal power.
This is when those extra-grippy tires are really helping to deliver the mail.
Yeah! Let's roll.
What? You've got to be kidding me.
- Slow as a worm, my brother.
Slow as a worm.
- Oh, wow.
You seem kind of out of breath.
- I'm a little-- - Yeah.
That's too bad.
Well, you know what? I still got enough juice left in me to do this.
You're welcome! I'm gonna be a post man! I'm gonna be a post man! After a crushing defeat, I am back in my 3,000 GT.
Rud and Adam are meeting me in this creepy, abandoned neighborhood for the final test of our delivery vehicles.
After working on their cars for the past 24 hours, their modifications better be good.
I'm not going down without a fight.
- Ooh, doggy.
- Right? - You made it right-hand drive.
- I converted it to right-hand drive.
- With a chain.
- Is that brilliant or what? - No.
That's so dangerous.
- Hey, you know what? That's very clever.
- Thank you.
- A unique feature of the LLV is that the steering wheel is on the right side of the car.
Because we drive on the right side of the road in the U.
S.
, this makes it much easier to deliver letters.
With a chain running from the new steering column on the right-hand side to the old steering column on the left, I'll be able to drive and deliver packages.
- Although I noticed you didn't move everything to the right-hand drive.
- Yeah.
I mean, all the accessories are still on the original column, like lights and turn signals.
Look, this is the best vehicle here for the Postal Service.
I just made it better by converting it to right-hand drive.
- Are you thinking about the postal carrier? I am.
The hearse is the most comfortable one here.
- Is that a gun? - It's not a gun.
It is a mail delivery system.
You're sitting in a leather seat in air conditioning, and you never have to get out.
You put your letters in here.
Boom.
Shoot them right in the mailbox.
This is for your larger items and gives you a little more distance.
- Wow.
- What'd you do? - Well, as you know, the Mitsubishi Postal Delivery System's already nearly perfect.
Why mess up perfection? - So you did nothing.
- Absolutely nothing.
- No.
Faster is better when it comes to mail delivery, and this is the fastest machine here.
Right? - Race boy make think his car's perfect, but this final challenge determines once and for all which car is the best delivery vehicle.
The postal service requires safe and efficient mail delivery.
So the rules are simple.
Six houses each have a number on the mailbox.
One at a time, we must deliver the correct mail to the correct mailbox as quickly as possible.
But there's a twist.
- Is it--lt's the postman Stig.
Yes.
- All right.
So I guess he's gonna set the benchmark or die trying.
Oh, that thing sounds not-impressive.
This might be the time when we can beat The Stig.
- See how slow that thing is? - You know, when we go, you can go first.
- Right? - Perfect.
- Oh, it's funny.
It's gonna take me a little while to get used to it.
- The original LLV was so perfectly designed, the U.
S.
Postal Service ordered about 160,000 of them at a cost of over $1 billion.
To prove our replacements are worthy, we're competing on a closed course against the legendary vehicle with the legendary, anonymous racing driver at the wheel.
Whoever comes closest to The Stig's time wins.
- Six mailboxes.
The Stig in the LLV.
All right, Stig.
You ready? - I think that's a yes.
- Here we go.
Stig delivering the mail in three, two, one.
Go! - You know, it's a little quicker than I thought it would be.
- Right? - Well, that's one.
- I love that The Stig is hanging out in the LLV.
Look, look, look, look.
I can see The Stig.
- That thing is faster than your Element.
Oh! Did he jump the curb? - Man, those things are cool.
You know, when the Post Office sells those, I might want to get one.
- Here we go.
Of course, you do.
- With this massive fleet of LLVs retiring, they're becoming available to private buyers, which is where this one came from.
- That's good, there.
- With the door open.
- How'd he do? - 2 minutes and 37 seconds.
- Is that good? - That's the benchmark.
You should go first.
- Yeah.
- I plan on just going hammer down.
Yeah.
I got to run to that damn trailer to get these letters out.
But you know what? I think the distance that we're gonna cover is gonna help me make up for that.
- So there's a box in your trailer with a bunch of envelopes.
There are six envelopes.
- I guess that's his start.
Okay.
That'll work.
- All right.
Where's the box? Where's the box? - That's good.
- Got it.
- Good for you.
- Just leave somebody's mortgage payment on the ground, you animal! - That thing just backfired.
I think that's a federal offense, and I think he might have Fousted that car.
Most of the time, the mail isn't delivered by people who seem like complete lunatics behind the wheel.
You know? - Yeah.
- Oh, there he is.
If he was working for the post office, he would definitely be fired.
Look.
He missed that mailbox.
Doesn't that car have anti-lock brakes? - He's such a dope.
- Whoa.
- We're in an abandoned neighborhood on a closed course.
We're testing vehicles we believe can replace the U.
S.
Postal Service Long Life Vehicle when it's retired.
And during a race to see who can deliver letters fastest, Tanner's out of control.
- Whoa! Did you stop the time? - I did.
- What an idiot.
- We need to leave that running? - You just gonna let-- - I got to leave it running, 'cause the-- - Let it cool down, right? Don't want to bake any oil in those turbos.
Right? - Yeah.
- Let me ask you something.
How do you feel you did? - Pretty good.
- You missed a mailbox.
You lost your trailer.
For all we know, it went right into a children's playground.
- So let's just say you lost, and you'd be fired.
- What was the actual time? - Five minutes and ten seconds.
- Basically, twice as long as The Stig.
- Yeah.
- Let's see you do better.
- Gladly.
- Yeah.
- I'll go next.
- Okay.
- Hope the chain on your steering doesn't accidentally come off or anything.
- This might be the first chance that I've ever had in my life to beat The Stig at something.
- Ready.
Set.
Go.
- Here we go.
Boom.
Right-hand drive.
There's number two, and I'm out.
There we go, Element.
Get it.
Oh, there it is.
Boom.
Okay.
Number four.
Watch out for the trees.
Oh, boy.
Come on.
Open up.
- He's at 2:11 right now.
- So hopefully, that means he's at number two.
- Here's number five.
I am flying.
Come on, Element.
- Oh, no.
He's coming around the last corner.
- Boom.
Number six.
Yahtzee! Whoo! - Look at him.
- I stomped you.
Did I cut his time in half? - 2:43.
- 2:43? That's great.
What was The Stig's time? - 2:37.
- 2:37.
- Oh! I am the man.
- Take this.
- I cannot wait to try out my new mail delivery system.
Now, this wad has been specially designed and sized.
You open this up, put this back, put the wad in, and you take a letter and put it in the chamber.
It goes underneath.
You close this, lock it, shoot it.
The wad goes over the letter, blows through the mailbox door, and the letter drafts its way right into the box.
It's genius.
- Adam, don't forget.
Time to beat--2:43.
- Got it.
- In three, two, one.
Go, deliver the mail.
Hit the deck! - To letter one.
- How is this gonna work? - Fire in the hole! - It just blew it over.
- I think that cannon might be a bad idea.
- Number two.
Fire in the hole! - Oh, look at that thing go.
- It's ominous when it goes through a neighborhood like this.
- Fire in the hole! Special delivery.
- Did you see the mail shoot out of his passenger window? - Yes.
- This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh, it actually went in the thing.
Did you see that? Oh, my God.
- I think it bent the door in.
- Stop the time! - That's it, man.
Okay.
You blew that mailbox completely over.
- And then, the letter just floated to the ground next to it.
- It's delivered.
It's not my fault they bought a cheap mailbox.
- Okay.
So this one--all right.
Fine The right-hand drive made a big difference.
The trailer was a bad idea for this particular thing.
- The Element, out of the three vehicles, you have to admit, did the best.
But it's not perfect.
I mean, there's a reason that that LLV has stood the test of time.
It's pretty good at what it does.
- The Element was pretty good.
- Thank you.
I know that was hard for you to say.
- So hard.
- You know what? I'll drive.
Come on.
Watch out for that old milk.
- I'm not okay with this.
- Neither am I.
- My Element is definitely the best delivery vehicle, which is why it won.
- Hold on, fellows.
- Okay.
Holding on.
- But the Postal Service wants something new, so we won't see a fleet of red, white, and blue, pre-owned Honda Elements anytime soon.
- You know, you still have the goggles on.
- I don't trust him.
- I, for one, am excited to see the next generation delivery vehicle the Post Office picks.
But one thing is certain.
The iconic and venerable Long Life Vehicle will be missed.
You guys all right back there? - Yeah.
Great.
- Yeah.