9-1-1 (2018) s06e08 Episode Script
What's Your Fantasy?
1
("Fantasy" by Mariah Carey playing)
(cheering)
(gasping)
(oohing and aahing)
(cheering)
Good morrow, and well met to you all!
Taketh in thy mead and merriment
for the festival hath begun!
- Huzzah!
- CROWD: Huzzah!
- Hu, what now?
- Huzzah.
It means like "Hooray."
Then why don't they just say that?
Because they're in character.
Like we should be.
Today, all these grown-ups
are playing make-believe
so they can feel what it's like
to live in a world of fantasy.
I'm just happy I got to wear
my favorite dress.
Now I just need to find
a knight in shining armor
to save me from my wicked stepsister.
We're real sisters, and you're
not some damsel in distress.
But, Daddy always says
I'm his little princess.
Dad's wrong. You don't need
anyone to save you.
If Mom was still here,
you'd know better.
LUCIUS: Ah
young Harriet the Honorable.
Art thou prepared to defend thy title
- at the joust anon?
- HARRIET: Aye.
From the moment I did wake, good sir.
Mm.
You're weird.
(fanfare playing)
Crap. I'm gonna be late, come on.
(cheering)
Give me your hair bow.
- Why?
- The lady's favor.
Every knight worth their salt needs one.
♪
Now you're about to see
what a real-life female hero looks like.
(buzzing)
(buzzing continues)
(exclaims, shouts)
(screams)
(groaning)
(bees buzzing)
(screaming)
- (sirens wailing)
- (horn honks)
(brakes squeal)
(indistinct chatter)
Bee nets on, everybody.
Make them secure.
Buck, start running a hose line.
Class A, half-percent foam coming up.
(chatter continues)
Top of the morning
Top of the morning to you.
(buzzing)
- No, not the bees
- DOTTIE: Please.
You have to save my sister.
She's not moving
and we can't get in to help her.
- Is she allergic?
- I don't think so.
Even without a bee allergy,
that many stings can add up
and still cause major anaphylaxis.
All right, clear back, everybody.
All right, guys, get in there. Let's go.
CHIMNEY: Pulse is
racing. Got massive swelling.
The melittin from the venom
probably caused her BP to bottom out.
We need to push epi,
but I can't access her
thigh or shoulder
through all this armor.
Come on. (grunting)
- HEN: Eddie?
- EDDIE: Yeah.
Help me get this helmet off.
It's too tight from the swelling.
- Gonna have to reduce friction.
- HEN: Inserting oral airway
to keep her tongue and throat
from swelling shut.
It should hopefully buy us
a little bit more time.
And what if it doesn't?
Then your sister is gonna need
an intubation or a tracheotomy.
- Cap?
- Hey, come over here
with me for a second.
Inserting OPA and getting her on oxygen.
(air hissing)
I know that must be pretty scary
to see your sister like this.
Were you guys having fun
before she got hurt?
We were kind of fighting.
She wanted to show me
that girls didn't just have
to be princesses, and then
she got attacked.
Her body's already too swollen
to loosen these straps.
All right, coming in.
(whirring)
BOBBY: Guys, we got
another swarm coming in.
- Get your heads down.
- Step back.
Step back.
Why do they keep coming back?
Their queen must be trapped underneath.
Okay, well then let's get her out.
(whirring)
CHIMNEY: I got an opening.
Pushing epi.
BOBBY: We got another swarm coming in.
Hen, we got to go.
HEN: Got ya.
(bees buzzing)
(buzzing fades)
Respiratory functions returning.
Oral swelling seems to be decreasing.
Now we'll just get those stingers out.
Just got to be careful not to
squeeze out any more venom.
Now let's see if she can open her eyes.
♪
(applause)
Guess you can have your ribbon back.
I did need to be saved.
Yeah, but you got saved by her.
You were right, girls can
totally be heroes, too.
- (crowd cheering)
- ALL: Huzzah!
♪
(knock at door)
(chuckles): Hey.
(gasping) Is that my favorite girl?
(gasps) Who's that? What's uncle's name?
- Buck.
- Yeah!
- (laughing)
- Oh, I got you.
Oh, there we go.
She's had breakfast and been changed,
so you should be good till lunch.
Yes, we've got turkey sandwich squares
or organic chicken nuggets.
If she goes for the nuggets, no sharing.
You are on your own.
BUCK: (chuckles)
You guys must be excited, huh?
Finally going house hunting?
MADDIE: I think so, I mean,
our apartment has so many
memories and firsts
We're ready for seconds,
as in a second bedroom.
Oh, you're sick of having
the world's most adorable roommate, huh?
The world's most adorable roommate
has been very active lately.
(quietly):
The terrible twos are no joke.
Come on, she's not even two yet.
- Well, try telling her that.
- Oh, we'd better get moving.
We've got four drive-bys,
three showings,
two open houses and hopefully
a pear tree to fit our partridge in.
Are you sure that you're okay
with her all day?
Are you kidding me?
I get to spend
the whole day with my niece.
I'm living the dream. (chuckling)
Okay, here we go.
What are you gonna use?
Oh. (chuckles)
("Just the Two of Us" by
Grover Washington Jr. playing)
(babbles): This is red.
I see the crystal raindrops fall ♪
Uh
Oh, okay. (chuckles) I'll get it.
(grunts)
Okay. What are you gonna draw?
We're gonna
Okay, I'll get it.
All good.
(Buck exhales)
I got it. O kay.
No, no, no. (laughing) Hey, hey, no.
Stairs are not for babies. Okay?
You're gonna stay right there.
Okay? Don't move.
I am gonna make this nice and safe.
Like a good, responsible uncle.
(grunting) Yeah.
Uh, Jee?
How did you, uh?
(giggles)
How did you? Oh, uh
I guess I'm gonna be the one
to potty train you.
Uh, Jee?
I am not gonna be the one
to potty train you.
Uh, no, no, no, no. Ah
Okay, let's not just
- Just the two of us ♪
- Uh, Jee, one, one sec.
- Okay.
- We can make it ♪
- Uh, Jee
- If we try ♪
- (groans)
- Just the two of us ♪
(muttering) Okay.
Oh!
Just the two of us ♪
Come on, Jee, it's delicious, I swear.
Come on, you must be hungry. I am.
- Uh, uh, Jee
- Just the two of us ♪
(knock at door)
(exhales)
Hey, hey. So, when's the move-in date?
At this rate, never.
Everything in our price range was either
the size of our apartment,
needed to be torn down or both.
There was that one house.
- It was already renovated.
- Yes, but you had to drive
through a parking lot
to get into the garage.
BUCK: Uh, so,
what are you guys gonna do?
Buy lottery tickets? Where's Jee-Yun?
She's upstairs.
She finally agreed to take a nap.
So how was she? Good, I hope.
Uh, let's just say
she's not the only one who needs a nap.
(chuckles)
(sizzling)
So, May didn't tell you who she invited
- to dinner, huh?
- I don't know.
She texted me to set an extra plate.
- Maybe one of her roommates?
- Oh.
- (door opens)
- MAY: Mom, Bobby, we're here.
Hey.
Let's see who our mystery guest is.
(chuckles, gasps)
Hope you don't mind I
brought some company.
Well, definitely not this company.
Oh, Darius.
(laughs)
- Hey.
- DARIUS: What's up?
Oh, I didn't know you were back in town.
It was a little last-minute,
but I hit May up
and she invited me to dinner.
- I hope it's okay.
- Darius, you know you're
- welcome at any time.
- How long are you here for?
- Just a few days.
- Darius is thinking about
transferring down here next semester.
So he's gonna check out some schools.
Including mine.
BOBBY: Well.
Your parents must be very glad
to have you back under their roof.
Uh, my parents are a little
upset with me right now.
I'm crashing at a friend's house.
Mm-hmm.
They want you to stay at Stanford, huh?
DARIUS: They think L.A. has
too many distractions.
BOBBY: Well, the chicken is ready.
Just have to bring out the sides
and we can eat.
Oh, we can do that.
- Right?
- Yeah. I'm Yeah.
- I'm starving.
- Yeah, um, we'll get the sides.
- Excellent.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay. Let's go. Okay.
♪
Well, this is a very
interesting development.
Mm-hmm.
Something tells me
that Los Angeles wasn't
all that he was missing.
(both chuckling)
GAVIN: No, this is all wrong.
You've got Schipp International
sitting next to ZenithPro. (groaning)
The donors are seated
exactly as you asked, sir.
I wrote down all your
instructions verbatim.
Welp, you must have heard wrong.
We all make mistakes,
just put RevitaThon
next to Post-Everest
and we should be fine. (whooshes)
♪
That breaks the rule of seating
tech next to telecom.
Who made that stupid rule?
What is wrong with you?
You never seat tech next to telecom,
especially when there's
steak knives present.
Fix it.
(muffled): What are you waiting for?
Fix it.
Fix it!
Fix. It.
- (exhales)
- GAVIN: Fix it!
(growling): Fix it.
- Fix it!
- Okay.
(groaning): Fix it.
(varying pitch): Fix it. Fix it. Fix it.
(robotic):
Fix it. Fix it. Fix it. Fix it.
(echoing): Fix it. Fix it.
Fix it. Fix it.
(stammers): Fix it.
Okay, I figured it out.
We've got the wrong shaped tables.
We need to go rectangular.
But the rounds are the only
tables the venue has.
Then looks like it's BYOT.
Let's get on the horn with the
event planner and make it happen.
How are they gonna get new
tables and linens delivered in time?
Well, worst case scenario,
you can always pick them up yourself.
Just fix it.
(exhales)
Just fix it.
- (yelling)
- (crashing)
(car alarm blaring)
♪
GAVIN (muffled): Hello?
Earth to Tyler
Are you gonna fix it?
Sure.
Hey, Tyler. How's it going
with the special project?
Make sure you get
those connections right.
Really want it to blow
everyone in Skyler's class away.
(buzzing)
Also, I don't know about
this color story.
- Can you fix it?
- Sure.
(sighs)
- Good morning, there you are.
- I'll take those.
- There you are, sir.
- Thanks, man.
All right, here you go.
No. That's Mr. Sanderick's.
Oat milk. Says cow's
milk could literally kill him.
MAN: (chuckles) Thanks.
Like we could be so lucky.
Finally.
You know, I appreciate your
egalitarian approach to coffee distro,
but nobody likes
an under-caffeinated boss.
(exhales) Certainly not me.
♪
(Gavin groaning)
COWORKER: Oh, my God, is he okay?
- WOMAN: (gasps) Oh, my God.
- Oh, no.
This is really happening.
- What's going on?
- Did I give him the wrong coffee?
- WOMAN: Oh, no. What?
- I gave him the wrong coffee.
WOMAN: Does anyone know CPR?
- I'm sorry. Did you just say
- TYLER: Yes! I killed my boss
with a latte macchiato.
He's allergic to dairy
and I gave him the wrong drink.
What's your name and address?
Tyler. We're at 1300
Avenue of the Stars.
Sixth floor. Tell them to hurry!
Help is on the way. Is he breathing?
TYLER: No. His heart's not
beating either. I started CPR.
Good. That'll keep blood
flowing through his body
while we wait for paramedics to arrive.
Please don't die.
I never really meant it. I swear.
Tyler, what you described
sounds like an accident.
- Why did you say
- Because I wanted him dead!
I fantasied about it so
many times, you have no idea.
But this time I think my
subconscious actually made it happen.
(indistinct radio chatter)
Dispatch said this was
an allergic reaction.
Caller claimed it attempted murder.
- Details are hazy.
- Step aside, LAFD.
- Don't you die on me.
- Coming through, LAFD.
Step back.
Don't you die on me. (sobbing)
- Don't you die on me.
- Sir, we're with the LAFD,
we got this.
All right, why don't you and I
have a conversation first
and give them some room?
I'm not getting a pulse.
Hooking him up to the Lifepak.
CHIMNEY: All right,
starting compressions.
TYLER: If I thought about
killing him in advance,
is that considered premeditation?
That's more prison time, right?
All right, before you start
talking your way
into Pelican Bay,
I need to read you your rights.
HEN: He's hooked up.
I'm analyzing rhythm.
- Cap, can you bag him?
- BOBBY: I'm on it.
ATHENA: So you
thought about killing him?
More than once?
More than once a day.
Sometimes I didn't make it to lunch
without envisioning his gruesome death.
Which I'm not proud of, by the way.
Okay, that's a good start.
Can you explain to me
how he ended up on the floor
without a pulse?
He has this terrible dairy allergy.
And I gave him the wrong coffee.
- On purpose?
- Maybe?
- (beeping)
- HEN: He's in V-tach.
Preparing to shock.
(thumps)
CHIMNEY: Come on.
- Come on.
- HEN: He's not responding.
And you're not sure
which cup you gave him?
Had to be the wrong one.
I mean, look at him.
Preparing to shock again.
(thumps)
- We're losing him.
- (rapid beeping)
CHIMNEY: Resuming compressions.
(beeping steadily)
We've got a pulse.
Normal rhythm returning.
All right, well,
that's good news for you.
Yeah.
Just attempted murder then.
Or maybe not murder at all.
This man had a heart attack.
Not an allergic reaction?
CHIMNEY: There's no
swelling of the mouth, no hives.
Looks like a textbook coronary.
I didn't almost kill him?
Even better, you probably
saved his life.
Looks like you wasted a trip, Sergeant.
Next time you feel the need
to confess your deep,
dark fantasies,
might I suggest a priest?
♪
- Are you sure it looks okay?
- Absolutely.
Don't you remember how handsome
everybody said you looked
when you wore it last time?
But is it too small now?
CARLA: It fits you like a glove.
Any bigger and people might think
you borrowed it from your father.
- (Carla chuckling)
- They say
you should only be able
to see a quarter inch
of your shirt sleeve,
but this looks more like a half.
- Who's they?
- The Internet.
Any more suavecito, you can give
James Bond a run for his money.
Okay. Can I get a haircut this week?
Now a haircut?
Why, you got some kind of hot date?
No. Geez!
Okay, I need to change now. Bye.
Oh, okay. All right, let's go.
Sure, okay, honey.
I'll let you. (chuckles)
Okay, okay.
- Out, out. (laughing)
- Okay, okay.
What was that all about?
He's excited about the school party,
and he wants to look good.
But I'm starting to think
that there might be
a first crush situation going on here.
Wow. First crush?
Mm-hmm.
I mean, that's great, but I wonder why
he hasn't said anything to me about it.
Oh, you're suddenly in a hurry
to give dating advice?
I'm just saying, I thought we were past
the whole keeping secrets phase.
You know how it is at that age.
Sometimes talking about your dreams
makes it seem all too real.
♪
Sometimes the fantasy
is better than the reality.
(chuckles)
CHIMNEY: One, two, three.
(grunts)
(exhales) Perfect.
It's like her own little
Korean goshiwon.
How come you never set
the place up this nice
when me and Albert
did our stints crashing here?
Because I wanted you to leave.
- (chuckles)
- MADDIE: Well,
I think it's adorable.
But let's ask the expert.
What do you think of your new room?
(Jee-Yun mumbles)
- (laughs)
- It's all yours, kid.
- This is all new?
- Yeah.
I mean, how many new toys
did you buy her?
This is a big change for her.
I thought we could smooth it over
With bribery?
Why didn't I think of that?
Well, she seems to like it.
- (Maddie laughing)
- CHIMNEY: I told you.
(Jee-Yun mumbling)
It's gonna be great.
♪
(lullaby playing)
JEE-YUN: Mommy?
(gasps)
♪
(chuckles)
Hi.
(laughing): Hi.
♪
JEE-YUN: Dada?
Daddy. Daddy.
- (sighs)
- Daddy.
(phone ringing)
Mama, I no sleep.
Yeah. It's not great.
(sighs)
(sighs)
There goes another one.
- (chuckles)
- Can't we just use
regular pencils to fill these out?
No. My grandmother always said
the tiny lotto pencils
have lucky properties. And
- (clinks)
- they're festive.
(laughing)
Since when are you superstitious?
And remind me again,
how many jackpots your grandmother hit?
You know, you better watch it
or you won't be getting
the Gayle treatment in my
post-winning Oprah lifestyle.
- Oh
- (both laughing)
I just wish it wasn't my turn
to fill out the whole
firehouse's tickets
Oof.
with these mini golf edition #2s.
Who does that one belong to?
- Uh Bobby.
- Oh.
What are his lucky numbers?
Uh, two, seven
Oh, that's Harry's birthday.
Oh.
Twelve, twenty-nine
Mm, that's May's birthday.
Oh.
And nine, one.
Wait a minute.
Can you read his handwriting?
'Cause my birthday is
- three, two, two
- Nine, one.
As in 1991.
The last year the Minnesota
Twins won the World Series.
Okay, I'm gonna have to talk to this man
about his priorities.
- (laughing)
- Do you play his birthday?
No, I don't play birthdays.
- (scoffs)
- I have my own system.
So, what's your lottery fantasy
if you win?
And don't you say retiring
and buying a beachside compound
'cause I know that's a lie.
Oh, no, no, no.
I would give it all away.
- All of it?
- Yeah.
To, like, charity?
To people. You hear these stories
about a family who lost their home
or someone gets in a terrible accident
and can't afford the medical bills.
And I always think,
what if you had the money to just help?
Oh.
That's a surprisingly
altruistic fantasy.
ATHENA: But I have
also always wanted a swimming pool.
(laughing)
Don't go nuts dreaming too big now.
You know, I have a great life.
I have a husband that I love
who loves me.
And I have two amazing children.
Who might want to be
millionaires someday.
Harry might.
(laughing)
He'd probably want to buy a spaceship
and go circling round the Earth.
I was gonna buy that for Karen.
Oh. Mm.
- And what about May?
- Oh.
She's not gonna want to buy
Twitter or something?
I hear that's a thing now.
May is too sensible for that.
You say that like that's a bad thing.
ATHENA: Mm.
I just see her worrying about school.
- Mm.
- Still feeling like
she needs to fit in.
May's had a different
experience than her friends.
- Mm-hmm.
- Two years of dealing with
life-and-death emergencies.
She's grown up because of that.
Yeah. I'm still waiting for her
to realize that.
That her life experiences
don't just make her different.
They are actually her superpower.
- Hmm.
- Huh.
MAY: So, what'd you think?
That the campus is nicer
than when my dad took me
- for football games.
- (chuckles)
- (music playing)
- Are you coming inside?
Uh, you didn't tell me
there was a party going on.
Oh, it's not a party,
it's more like a kickback.
Come on. Don't worry.
HIRO: Holy crap.
- (May chuckles)
- Is that May Grant?
Long time no see. Bring it in!
- Good seeing you, Hiro.
- Oh. (chuckles)
Who brought her?
Relax. We went to high school together
- and she happens to be awesome.
- (May chuckles)
You still saving the world
at the dispatch center?
DARIUS: What are you talking about?
May quit and she enrolled
in school, like, months ago.
And you didn't call me?
We're practically neighbors.
I'm sorry, I've just been trying
to stay focused in my classes.
Hustle hard, right?
- That's what's up.
- (chuckles)
Yo, can I get you guys anything?
- A beer, a seltzer?
- Seltzer me.
Nothing for me, thanks.
'Cause you got an early
morning class tomorrow?
- No, but I did drive.
- Cool.
So, um, this is Hank,
he's an engineering student,
and that's Felipe,
- he's in design school.
- Hmm.
Sorry, I didn't
I didn't catch your name.
No, you didn't. But, uh,
I was just leaving.
From my own home where I pay rent.
♪
Uh
- (door slams)
- He must be having a day.
Every day is a day with Erik.
Dude takes a little getting used to,
but he pays the rent on time
and he cleans up after himself.
So, what more can you ask for?
- (chuckles) Manners?
- (laughs)
HIRO: Come on, let me show you to
the more socially appropriate roommates.
Great.
♪
So who's this mystery crush
of Christopher's?
EDDIE: No idea. He's not spilling,
I don't feel like pushing.
Isn't he kind of young to start dating?
It's not like he's taking 'em
out to dinner and a movie.
He's just going out to a school party.
Look, there is nothing wrong
with a little harmless
adolescent infatuation.
So, how old were you when you
had your first crush, Buckaroo?
Uh, kindergarten. Miss Garcia. RIP.
I can't believe we're doing this.
I know. We're finally about
to live our fantasy.
- (siren wailing)
- (horn honking)
("What's Your Fantasy?"
by Ludacris playing)
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
This is gonna be so much better
than a plane.
Everybody does a plane. This is legend.
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Give it to me now, give it to me now ♪
CHIMNEY: Hen, tell
us about your first kiss.
This kid Ricardo
Sanchez was my first kiss.
Sixth grade.
Someone dared us to make out
- under the bleachers.
- Ooh, salacious.
HEN: I was not aware there
was gonna be tongue involved,
so essentially he just
licked my lips for, like,
five seconds, and then I ran away.
(laughs) That sounds traumatizing.
Illuminating.
I realized I was kissing
the wrong Suarez.
His sister Martina was more my speed.
Ah. Right.
EDDIE: We've drifted off topic.
Christopher isn't
kissing anyone. He's not.
We can do it in the DJ booth ♪
Right?
With cherries
and strawberries on top ♪
Lick it, don't stop,
keep the door locked ♪
Don't knock while the boat rock ♪
- (panting)
- (squeals, laughs)
EDDIE: I know it's normal.
I just didn't think Christopher
was old enough yet.
Maybe the problem is
it makes you feel old.
- Wait till he starts shaving.
- Before you know it,
someone's gonna be calling you Grandpa.
I don't know why
I tell you guys anything.
Who else you gonna talk to?
Carla. From now on,
I'm only talking to Carla.
DISPATCHER (over radio):
Dispatch to 118,
reports of a fire at DuPont RV Storage.
Copy that, Dispatch, 118 responding.
(siren wailing)
- This just keeps getting better.
- (both laugh)
And I wanna move from the bed ♪
Down to the, down to the ♪
- (loud thud)
- Uh, what was that?
You make it so good
I don't wanna leave ♪
But I gotta kn-kn-kn-know ♪
What's-what's your fantasy? ♪
You guys secured all the gear and locked
the compartment doors?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
And I wanna move from
the bed down to the ♪
You better take Wilcox.
There's construction up ahead.
(siren wailing)
Whoa! Oh!
- Oh!
- (thuds)
Stop the engine. Pull over.
Try to stay still, sir.
LAFD. We're here to help.
- (groaning)
- All right.
Looks like we got
second-degree abrasions,
separated shoulder.
(pained groans)
Try to stay still, sir.
Irregular pupillary responses
indicating a probable concussion.
Let's get him a C-collar
and start irrigating these wounds.
Dispatch, this is Captain Nash, 118.
We've encountered a trauma
victim in transit.
Looks like we won't be able
to make that RV Storage fire.
There aren't any tall buildings
around here.
Right, and unless that song
was based in truth,
I don't think it's ever
actually raining men.
(groaning)
I don't think he fell from the sky.
- Ah
- Uh
Hi.
Hello.
Is he gonna be okay?
BOBBY: What the hell
were you two thinking
- hitching a ride up there?
- I don't know.
You don't know.
What do you mean you don't know?
It was just something
we always fantasized about.
Having sex on top of a firetruck.
Oh, hey, like Backdraft.
Backdraft was a seminal
influence on Buck's life.
Sorry, poor choice of words.
That has to be the dumbest,
most dangerous
and dumbest fantasy I've ever heard of.
And it's not a truck, it's an engine.
(phone line ringing)
MAY: Hey. I'm at Hiro's house
to scoop you.
DARIUS: Hey, my
bad, I got stuck in traffic.
You can just hang inside
until I get home.
- I'll be there in, like, ten.
- Okay.
You again. Why are you here?
Hi. I'm just waiting for Darius.
It should only be a few minutes.
I feel like we got off on
the wrong foot the other night.
I'm May.
Okay.
Sure seems like it could be hard
to study in a house this busy.
So many distractions.
Uh, what's your major?
I'm not a student.
The need for post-secondary
education is a myth
propagated to keep young people too
distracted to see what's really there.
Which is?
Nothing.
(scoffs)
Wow, that's That's a little bleak.
So what's the point, then, if we're
just living in a void of nothingness?
Because where there is nothing,
there is only room for growth.
What kind of growth?
You wouldn't understand.
- Oh, let me help you with those.
- I don't need your help.
Okay.
Nice talking to you.
♪
MAY (over phone): I'm telling
you, there's some kind of plan
written in this book.
What kind of plan?
There's all these rants about
a female conspiracy
to keep men down, and that
the world will only grow
- if it burns.
- I don't know
what kind of fantasy
this man is living in,
but is there a specific target
indicated?
A supermarket, nightclub,
train station? Anything.
No specifics. It's all kind of coded.
But there are steps.
"Steps To Glory," actually.
"Recon, weaponize, execute, escape."
We have no idea which step he's on.
Is there any chance
I'm just overreacting?
I know I saw something,
so I needed to say something,
I just don't want to
wrongfully accuse someone
for what I know could just be
some very dark fiction.
Listen, May, fantasy or not, there's
no room for error in these situations.
Okay, so we put him on a watch list,
investigate firearm purchases,
past or pending,
and pursue a red tag temporary
restraining order?
My thoughts exactly,
but in the meantime,
you need to steer clear
of this young man.
Darius can come stay with us
if he needs to.
Oh, my God, Darius.
Hey, what-what's going on?
What's-what's going on?
You lost your phone?
- I can I can call
- No, it's not a phone.
It's a book, and it belongs to me.
Sure. It's just a book.
I mean, we could get you another copy.
No, there's no copy!
That bitch girlfriend of yours stole it.
Whoa, whoa, you-you cannot
call her that.
(phone chimes, vibrates)
I gotta go.
You're not going anywhere.
(indistinct radio chatter)
- Hey.
- Hey.
Darius won't answer. I didn't see if
he ever went inside the house,
but Erik is definitely still in there.
All right, good. Maybe Darius is
still just stuck in traffic.
- (phone vibrating)
- Who's that calling?
Darius.
Darius? Hello? Are you all right?
We each have something
that belongs to the other.
Just bring it back
and everything will be okay.
Speak.
DARIUS: May, just-just do as he says.
He's got me in his room.
He's-he's gonna kill me.
Doesn't seem like anyone else is inside.
We shut down the street at both ends.
Now, hopefully one of
the other roommates
will show up and give us
the layout inside.
I put in a request for HRT and SWAT,
but I'm not sure they're
gonna make it here in time.
How desperate do you think this kid is?
Well, last step of his plan was escape.
Whatever he was gonna do,
seems like he was hoping
to make it out alive.
Oh, he was headed to Mexico.
- He know we're outside?
- Unfortunately, yes.
Great. So we lost the element
of surprise, too.
You know, I would feel better
if he was talking to someone
who'd had training.
He is.
Erik, I am sorry that I stole your book.
It's your property, and that can
be upsetting for you.
ERIK: You don't know
anything. I had plans.
Big plans, and you ruined them.
So now I got a new plan.
Which is?
Kill your boyfriend,
and break your pathetic little heart.
You're not mad at Darius, Erik.
- He is not the one you want to hurt.
- Huh?
Oh, you're offering to take his place?
The police would never let that happen.
Surprisingly honest.
- I try to be.
- Oh, no, that is a lie.
Girls like you are all liars!
You know, they say they want a
nice guy like me, but that's not true.
What they really want is
some macho jackass
to treat them like crap.
Isn't that right, pretty boy?
I'm not like that, man.
Darius is a good guy.
He hasn't done anything to you.
He doesn't deserve this.
What about what I deserve?
What do you think you deserve, Erik?
You have my book, don't you?
That tells it all.
Well, I'd rather get the information
straight from the source.
What do you want people
to know about you?
I want people to know
that I was brave enough to stand up
against the conspiracy to keep men down.
The mainstream media
and the lies they peddle.
Protecting pedophiles and prosecuting
the true heroes of this country!
HRT is on the way, but it's at least
- another 20 minutes for SWAT.
- I'm not sure
Darius has that much time.
No way, he's spiraling.
He knows that his options are
running out real soon.
Why do you say that?
Erik's a creep, not an idiot.
But we just cannot risk going in there
without knowing where he is.
But what if we did know?
If I could get him by a window?
Yeah, do it. You two, come with me.
ERIK: Are you even listening to me?
I-I'm listening.
And thank you so much for educating me
on these really important issues, Erik.
I wish we could
continue this conversation.
It's really helping me, but
I'm afraid we've run out of time.
What does that mean?
SWAT and HRT are here.
They're taking over the scene.
From now on it's just gonna be snipers
and tactical teams running the show.
That's bull.
Why didn't I hear them pull up?
When there's a hostage situation
in a residential area,
SWAT rolls cold.
No lights, no sirens.
Darius knows what I'm talking about.
May knows what she's talking about.
She was a 911 dispatcher for two years.
Why should I believe you?
You shouldn't.
You're smarter than me, right?
Maybe you should just
take a look for yourself.
You son of a bitch!
Drop your weapon!
Now.
You come at me and I'll put you down.
This is not how it was supposed to go.
It's not
It's not fair.
It's not fair. (sobbing)
Please
Cuff him.
(stammers) Please, no, no, no, no.
No, please stop. Ple
I'm sor I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry!
(indistinct radio chatter)
(helicopter passing)
(siren chirps)
Feeling okay?
Still a little shook, but, um,
I'll be all right.
I'm sorry I didn't warn you in time.
It's my fault that you were in danger
because I took his book.
Don't blame yourself
for that lunatic's actions.
You saved my life, May.
You saved a lot of lives.
Just doing my job. My old job.
It's kind of crazy how you just
took that guy down with a phone.
(laughs) Yeah, I-I had great training.
It was badass.
You know I wouldn't blame you
if you had second thoughts
- about moving back here.
- Are you kidding?
Look, I've realized
that there's no place
I'd rather be than here.
(May chuckles)
(goat bleating)
(whooping)
Aah!
You know, I thought this place
was gonna be lame,
but it's actually kind of cool.
Since when do I take you to lame places?
The dentist, the doctor, school.
(chuckles) You're an ungrateful child.
- Can I get a turkey leg?
- Yeah.
Here, get three.
And bring back two.
Look, swords.
Now, rise, Dame Dottie the Dutiful.
Dutiful?
I know I'm a knight now,
but can't it be something different?
Like Dottie the Magnificent?
It's your fantasy.
It can be whatever you want it to be.
Heroes come in all shapes and sizes.
ALL: Huzzah!
(cheering)
Oh, hey, uh, what do you think?
- Uh, it's a little small for you.
- Uh-huh.
It's for Jee-Yun.
Oh. Your sister's gonna kill you.
That's what being an uncle is all about.
No, I just
I figured it's never too soon
for her to learn
that girls can be heroes, too.
Facts. You should probably get her
- one of these little shields, too.
- Yes.
- How 'bout this one right here?
- There you go.
- Oh, oh. You're in, huh?
- Don't come for me.
- Don't come for me!
- You're in. Come on, come on!
Good to see you back on your feet, sir.
No kidding. Don't know how
this whole operation
didn't fall apart without me.
Right.
My letter of resignation.
No offense, but
working for you is just too stressful.
I understand. Not everyone's
built for my pace.
There's one more thing.
A letter of recommendation.
I was hoping you would sign it.
"He's a real lifesaver"?
Hand me a pen.
RITA: How long do we have?
They said they were
releasing me after lunch.
Good.
That should be more than enough time.
- (TV playing)
- You know what? You're right.
This does feel like a movie theater.
CHIMNEY: And the
snacks are so much cheaper.
(Maddie laughs)
So how long are we gonna
be able to convince ourselves
that this is a sustainable way to live?
As long as we need to.
When the right dream house
presents itself, we'll know.
But in the meantime,
this is a pretty great fantasy, too.
- Oh.
- Oh
You see it? You see it?
- It's so cute.
- Oh, that is so cute.
How can you not think that's cute?
CARLA: So how long do you
plan on standing guard out here?
Just until they get inside.
And we can hang out in the car after.
It's a chaperoned school function.
He's not shipping out
for a year-long tour.
(both laugh)
When you know you're having kids,
you have all these expectations
of what life's gonna be like, you know?
The milestones.
The first words, first steps
First crush.
(laughs)
Then they tell you your kid's
gonna be different,
and he's gonna have challenges
other kids don't.
They warn you to manage
your expectations.
All those milestones start to seem like
a stupid fantasy.
CARLA: Looks like that fantasy's
turning into a reality.
(sighs)
How's that feel?
- Pretty damn good.
- (Carla chuckles)
Yeah. Well, the school says
this is gonna last three hours.
Hmm.
Wait, wait, are you calling
for a ride home, 'cause
And miss this milestone?
Hell no. (chuckles)
I'm ordering takeout.
How you feel about dim sum?
(both laugh)
BOBBY: With everything May
and Darius have been through,
I don't mind waiting
for dinner, but how much longer?
I think they're almost done.
How are you feeling about all this?
Seeing my daughter safe and happy
is a dream come true.
There is nothing quite like
being young and in love.
Or just in love.
Mm.
("Fantasy" by Mariah Carey playing)
(cheering)
(gasping)
(oohing and aahing)
(cheering)
Good morrow, and well met to you all!
Taketh in thy mead and merriment
for the festival hath begun!
- Huzzah!
- CROWD: Huzzah!
- Hu, what now?
- Huzzah.
It means like "Hooray."
Then why don't they just say that?
Because they're in character.
Like we should be.
Today, all these grown-ups
are playing make-believe
so they can feel what it's like
to live in a world of fantasy.
I'm just happy I got to wear
my favorite dress.
Now I just need to find
a knight in shining armor
to save me from my wicked stepsister.
We're real sisters, and you're
not some damsel in distress.
But, Daddy always says
I'm his little princess.
Dad's wrong. You don't need
anyone to save you.
If Mom was still here,
you'd know better.
LUCIUS: Ah
young Harriet the Honorable.
Art thou prepared to defend thy title
- at the joust anon?
- HARRIET: Aye.
From the moment I did wake, good sir.
Mm.
You're weird.
(fanfare playing)
Crap. I'm gonna be late, come on.
(cheering)
Give me your hair bow.
- Why?
- The lady's favor.
Every knight worth their salt needs one.
♪
Now you're about to see
what a real-life female hero looks like.
(buzzing)
(buzzing continues)
(exclaims, shouts)
(screams)
(groaning)
(bees buzzing)
(screaming)
- (sirens wailing)
- (horn honks)
(brakes squeal)
(indistinct chatter)
Bee nets on, everybody.
Make them secure.
Buck, start running a hose line.
Class A, half-percent foam coming up.
(chatter continues)
Top of the morning
Top of the morning to you.
(buzzing)
- No, not the bees
- DOTTIE: Please.
You have to save my sister.
She's not moving
and we can't get in to help her.
- Is she allergic?
- I don't think so.
Even without a bee allergy,
that many stings can add up
and still cause major anaphylaxis.
All right, clear back, everybody.
All right, guys, get in there. Let's go.
CHIMNEY: Pulse is
racing. Got massive swelling.
The melittin from the venom
probably caused her BP to bottom out.
We need to push epi,
but I can't access her
thigh or shoulder
through all this armor.
Come on. (grunting)
- HEN: Eddie?
- EDDIE: Yeah.
Help me get this helmet off.
It's too tight from the swelling.
- Gonna have to reduce friction.
- HEN: Inserting oral airway
to keep her tongue and throat
from swelling shut.
It should hopefully buy us
a little bit more time.
And what if it doesn't?
Then your sister is gonna need
an intubation or a tracheotomy.
- Cap?
- Hey, come over here
with me for a second.
Inserting OPA and getting her on oxygen.
(air hissing)
I know that must be pretty scary
to see your sister like this.
Were you guys having fun
before she got hurt?
We were kind of fighting.
She wanted to show me
that girls didn't just have
to be princesses, and then
she got attacked.
Her body's already too swollen
to loosen these straps.
All right, coming in.
(whirring)
BOBBY: Guys, we got
another swarm coming in.
- Get your heads down.
- Step back.
Step back.
Why do they keep coming back?
Their queen must be trapped underneath.
Okay, well then let's get her out.
(whirring)
CHIMNEY: I got an opening.
Pushing epi.
BOBBY: We got another swarm coming in.
Hen, we got to go.
HEN: Got ya.
(bees buzzing)
(buzzing fades)
Respiratory functions returning.
Oral swelling seems to be decreasing.
Now we'll just get those stingers out.
Just got to be careful not to
squeeze out any more venom.
Now let's see if she can open her eyes.
♪
(applause)
Guess you can have your ribbon back.
I did need to be saved.
Yeah, but you got saved by her.
You were right, girls can
totally be heroes, too.
- (crowd cheering)
- ALL: Huzzah!
♪
(knock at door)
(chuckles): Hey.
(gasping) Is that my favorite girl?
(gasps) Who's that? What's uncle's name?
- Buck.
- Yeah!
- (laughing)
- Oh, I got you.
Oh, there we go.
She's had breakfast and been changed,
so you should be good till lunch.
Yes, we've got turkey sandwich squares
or organic chicken nuggets.
If she goes for the nuggets, no sharing.
You are on your own.
BUCK: (chuckles)
You guys must be excited, huh?
Finally going house hunting?
MADDIE: I think so, I mean,
our apartment has so many
memories and firsts
We're ready for seconds,
as in a second bedroom.
Oh, you're sick of having
the world's most adorable roommate, huh?
The world's most adorable roommate
has been very active lately.
(quietly):
The terrible twos are no joke.
Come on, she's not even two yet.
- Well, try telling her that.
- Oh, we'd better get moving.
We've got four drive-bys,
three showings,
two open houses and hopefully
a pear tree to fit our partridge in.
Are you sure that you're okay
with her all day?
Are you kidding me?
I get to spend
the whole day with my niece.
I'm living the dream. (chuckling)
Okay, here we go.
What are you gonna use?
Oh. (chuckles)
("Just the Two of Us" by
Grover Washington Jr. playing)
(babbles): This is red.
I see the crystal raindrops fall ♪
Uh
Oh, okay. (chuckles) I'll get it.
(grunts)
Okay. What are you gonna draw?
We're gonna
Okay, I'll get it.
All good.
(Buck exhales)
I got it. O kay.
No, no, no. (laughing) Hey, hey, no.
Stairs are not for babies. Okay?
You're gonna stay right there.
Okay? Don't move.
I am gonna make this nice and safe.
Like a good, responsible uncle.
(grunting) Yeah.
Uh, Jee?
How did you, uh?
(giggles)
How did you? Oh, uh
I guess I'm gonna be the one
to potty train you.
Uh, Jee?
I am not gonna be the one
to potty train you.
Uh, no, no, no, no. Ah
Okay, let's not just
- Just the two of us ♪
- Uh, Jee, one, one sec.
- Okay.
- We can make it ♪
- Uh, Jee
- If we try ♪
- (groans)
- Just the two of us ♪
(muttering) Okay.
Oh!
Just the two of us ♪
Come on, Jee, it's delicious, I swear.
Come on, you must be hungry. I am.
- Uh, uh, Jee
- Just the two of us ♪
(knock at door)
(exhales)
Hey, hey. So, when's the move-in date?
At this rate, never.
Everything in our price range was either
the size of our apartment,
needed to be torn down or both.
There was that one house.
- It was already renovated.
- Yes, but you had to drive
through a parking lot
to get into the garage.
BUCK: Uh, so,
what are you guys gonna do?
Buy lottery tickets? Where's Jee-Yun?
She's upstairs.
She finally agreed to take a nap.
So how was she? Good, I hope.
Uh, let's just say
she's not the only one who needs a nap.
(chuckles)
(sizzling)
So, May didn't tell you who she invited
- to dinner, huh?
- I don't know.
She texted me to set an extra plate.
- Maybe one of her roommates?
- Oh.
- (door opens)
- MAY: Mom, Bobby, we're here.
Hey.
Let's see who our mystery guest is.
(chuckles, gasps)
Hope you don't mind I
brought some company.
Well, definitely not this company.
Oh, Darius.
(laughs)
- Hey.
- DARIUS: What's up?
Oh, I didn't know you were back in town.
It was a little last-minute,
but I hit May up
and she invited me to dinner.
- I hope it's okay.
- Darius, you know you're
- welcome at any time.
- How long are you here for?
- Just a few days.
- Darius is thinking about
transferring down here next semester.
So he's gonna check out some schools.
Including mine.
BOBBY: Well.
Your parents must be very glad
to have you back under their roof.
Uh, my parents are a little
upset with me right now.
I'm crashing at a friend's house.
Mm-hmm.
They want you to stay at Stanford, huh?
DARIUS: They think L.A. has
too many distractions.
BOBBY: Well, the chicken is ready.
Just have to bring out the sides
and we can eat.
Oh, we can do that.
- Right?
- Yeah. I'm Yeah.
- I'm starving.
- Yeah, um, we'll get the sides.
- Excellent.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay. Let's go. Okay.
♪
Well, this is a very
interesting development.
Mm-hmm.
Something tells me
that Los Angeles wasn't
all that he was missing.
(both chuckling)
GAVIN: No, this is all wrong.
You've got Schipp International
sitting next to ZenithPro. (groaning)
The donors are seated
exactly as you asked, sir.
I wrote down all your
instructions verbatim.
Welp, you must have heard wrong.
We all make mistakes,
just put RevitaThon
next to Post-Everest
and we should be fine. (whooshes)
♪
That breaks the rule of seating
tech next to telecom.
Who made that stupid rule?
What is wrong with you?
You never seat tech next to telecom,
especially when there's
steak knives present.
Fix it.
(muffled): What are you waiting for?
Fix it.
Fix it!
Fix. It.
- (exhales)
- GAVIN: Fix it!
(growling): Fix it.
- Fix it!
- Okay.
(groaning): Fix it.
(varying pitch): Fix it. Fix it. Fix it.
(robotic):
Fix it. Fix it. Fix it. Fix it.
(echoing): Fix it. Fix it.
Fix it. Fix it.
(stammers): Fix it.
Okay, I figured it out.
We've got the wrong shaped tables.
We need to go rectangular.
But the rounds are the only
tables the venue has.
Then looks like it's BYOT.
Let's get on the horn with the
event planner and make it happen.
How are they gonna get new
tables and linens delivered in time?
Well, worst case scenario,
you can always pick them up yourself.
Just fix it.
(exhales)
Just fix it.
- (yelling)
- (crashing)
(car alarm blaring)
♪
GAVIN (muffled): Hello?
Earth to Tyler
Are you gonna fix it?
Sure.
Hey, Tyler. How's it going
with the special project?
Make sure you get
those connections right.
Really want it to blow
everyone in Skyler's class away.
(buzzing)
Also, I don't know about
this color story.
- Can you fix it?
- Sure.
(sighs)
- Good morning, there you are.
- I'll take those.
- There you are, sir.
- Thanks, man.
All right, here you go.
No. That's Mr. Sanderick's.
Oat milk. Says cow's
milk could literally kill him.
MAN: (chuckles) Thanks.
Like we could be so lucky.
Finally.
You know, I appreciate your
egalitarian approach to coffee distro,
but nobody likes
an under-caffeinated boss.
(exhales) Certainly not me.
♪
(Gavin groaning)
COWORKER: Oh, my God, is he okay?
- WOMAN: (gasps) Oh, my God.
- Oh, no.
This is really happening.
- What's going on?
- Did I give him the wrong coffee?
- WOMAN: Oh, no. What?
- I gave him the wrong coffee.
WOMAN: Does anyone know CPR?
- I'm sorry. Did you just say
- TYLER: Yes! I killed my boss
with a latte macchiato.
He's allergic to dairy
and I gave him the wrong drink.
What's your name and address?
Tyler. We're at 1300
Avenue of the Stars.
Sixth floor. Tell them to hurry!
Help is on the way. Is he breathing?
TYLER: No. His heart's not
beating either. I started CPR.
Good. That'll keep blood
flowing through his body
while we wait for paramedics to arrive.
Please don't die.
I never really meant it. I swear.
Tyler, what you described
sounds like an accident.
- Why did you say
- Because I wanted him dead!
I fantasied about it so
many times, you have no idea.
But this time I think my
subconscious actually made it happen.
(indistinct radio chatter)
Dispatch said this was
an allergic reaction.
Caller claimed it attempted murder.
- Details are hazy.
- Step aside, LAFD.
- Don't you die on me.
- Coming through, LAFD.
Step back.
Don't you die on me. (sobbing)
- Don't you die on me.
- Sir, we're with the LAFD,
we got this.
All right, why don't you and I
have a conversation first
and give them some room?
I'm not getting a pulse.
Hooking him up to the Lifepak.
CHIMNEY: All right,
starting compressions.
TYLER: If I thought about
killing him in advance,
is that considered premeditation?
That's more prison time, right?
All right, before you start
talking your way
into Pelican Bay,
I need to read you your rights.
HEN: He's hooked up.
I'm analyzing rhythm.
- Cap, can you bag him?
- BOBBY: I'm on it.
ATHENA: So you
thought about killing him?
More than once?
More than once a day.
Sometimes I didn't make it to lunch
without envisioning his gruesome death.
Which I'm not proud of, by the way.
Okay, that's a good start.
Can you explain to me
how he ended up on the floor
without a pulse?
He has this terrible dairy allergy.
And I gave him the wrong coffee.
- On purpose?
- Maybe?
- (beeping)
- HEN: He's in V-tach.
Preparing to shock.
(thumps)
CHIMNEY: Come on.
- Come on.
- HEN: He's not responding.
And you're not sure
which cup you gave him?
Had to be the wrong one.
I mean, look at him.
Preparing to shock again.
(thumps)
- We're losing him.
- (rapid beeping)
CHIMNEY: Resuming compressions.
(beeping steadily)
We've got a pulse.
Normal rhythm returning.
All right, well,
that's good news for you.
Yeah.
Just attempted murder then.
Or maybe not murder at all.
This man had a heart attack.
Not an allergic reaction?
CHIMNEY: There's no
swelling of the mouth, no hives.
Looks like a textbook coronary.
I didn't almost kill him?
Even better, you probably
saved his life.
Looks like you wasted a trip, Sergeant.
Next time you feel the need
to confess your deep,
dark fantasies,
might I suggest a priest?
♪
- Are you sure it looks okay?
- Absolutely.
Don't you remember how handsome
everybody said you looked
when you wore it last time?
But is it too small now?
CARLA: It fits you like a glove.
Any bigger and people might think
you borrowed it from your father.
- (Carla chuckling)
- They say
you should only be able
to see a quarter inch
of your shirt sleeve,
but this looks more like a half.
- Who's they?
- The Internet.
Any more suavecito, you can give
James Bond a run for his money.
Okay. Can I get a haircut this week?
Now a haircut?
Why, you got some kind of hot date?
No. Geez!
Okay, I need to change now. Bye.
Oh, okay. All right, let's go.
Sure, okay, honey.
I'll let you. (chuckles)
Okay, okay.
- Out, out. (laughing)
- Okay, okay.
What was that all about?
He's excited about the school party,
and he wants to look good.
But I'm starting to think
that there might be
a first crush situation going on here.
Wow. First crush?
Mm-hmm.
I mean, that's great, but I wonder why
he hasn't said anything to me about it.
Oh, you're suddenly in a hurry
to give dating advice?
I'm just saying, I thought we were past
the whole keeping secrets phase.
You know how it is at that age.
Sometimes talking about your dreams
makes it seem all too real.
♪
Sometimes the fantasy
is better than the reality.
(chuckles)
CHIMNEY: One, two, three.
(grunts)
(exhales) Perfect.
It's like her own little
Korean goshiwon.
How come you never set
the place up this nice
when me and Albert
did our stints crashing here?
Because I wanted you to leave.
- (chuckles)
- MADDIE: Well,
I think it's adorable.
But let's ask the expert.
What do you think of your new room?
(Jee-Yun mumbles)
- (laughs)
- It's all yours, kid.
- This is all new?
- Yeah.
I mean, how many new toys
did you buy her?
This is a big change for her.
I thought we could smooth it over
With bribery?
Why didn't I think of that?
Well, she seems to like it.
- (Maddie laughing)
- CHIMNEY: I told you.
(Jee-Yun mumbling)
It's gonna be great.
♪
(lullaby playing)
JEE-YUN: Mommy?
(gasps)
♪
(chuckles)
Hi.
(laughing): Hi.
♪
JEE-YUN: Dada?
Daddy. Daddy.
- (sighs)
- Daddy.
(phone ringing)
Mama, I no sleep.
Yeah. It's not great.
(sighs)
(sighs)
There goes another one.
- (chuckles)
- Can't we just use
regular pencils to fill these out?
No. My grandmother always said
the tiny lotto pencils
have lucky properties. And
- (clinks)
- they're festive.
(laughing)
Since when are you superstitious?
And remind me again,
how many jackpots your grandmother hit?
You know, you better watch it
or you won't be getting
the Gayle treatment in my
post-winning Oprah lifestyle.
- Oh
- (both laughing)
I just wish it wasn't my turn
to fill out the whole
firehouse's tickets
Oof.
with these mini golf edition #2s.
Who does that one belong to?
- Uh Bobby.
- Oh.
What are his lucky numbers?
Uh, two, seven
Oh, that's Harry's birthday.
Oh.
Twelve, twenty-nine
Mm, that's May's birthday.
Oh.
And nine, one.
Wait a minute.
Can you read his handwriting?
'Cause my birthday is
- three, two, two
- Nine, one.
As in 1991.
The last year the Minnesota
Twins won the World Series.
Okay, I'm gonna have to talk to this man
about his priorities.
- (laughing)
- Do you play his birthday?
No, I don't play birthdays.
- (scoffs)
- I have my own system.
So, what's your lottery fantasy
if you win?
And don't you say retiring
and buying a beachside compound
'cause I know that's a lie.
Oh, no, no, no.
I would give it all away.
- All of it?
- Yeah.
To, like, charity?
To people. You hear these stories
about a family who lost their home
or someone gets in a terrible accident
and can't afford the medical bills.
And I always think,
what if you had the money to just help?
Oh.
That's a surprisingly
altruistic fantasy.
ATHENA: But I have
also always wanted a swimming pool.
(laughing)
Don't go nuts dreaming too big now.
You know, I have a great life.
I have a husband that I love
who loves me.
And I have two amazing children.
Who might want to be
millionaires someday.
Harry might.
(laughing)
He'd probably want to buy a spaceship
and go circling round the Earth.
I was gonna buy that for Karen.
Oh. Mm.
- And what about May?
- Oh.
She's not gonna want to buy
Twitter or something?
I hear that's a thing now.
May is too sensible for that.
You say that like that's a bad thing.
ATHENA: Mm.
I just see her worrying about school.
- Mm.
- Still feeling like
she needs to fit in.
May's had a different
experience than her friends.
- Mm-hmm.
- Two years of dealing with
life-and-death emergencies.
She's grown up because of that.
Yeah. I'm still waiting for her
to realize that.
That her life experiences
don't just make her different.
They are actually her superpower.
- Hmm.
- Huh.
MAY: So, what'd you think?
That the campus is nicer
than when my dad took me
- for football games.
- (chuckles)
- (music playing)
- Are you coming inside?
Uh, you didn't tell me
there was a party going on.
Oh, it's not a party,
it's more like a kickback.
Come on. Don't worry.
HIRO: Holy crap.
- (May chuckles)
- Is that May Grant?
Long time no see. Bring it in!
- Good seeing you, Hiro.
- Oh. (chuckles)
Who brought her?
Relax. We went to high school together
- and she happens to be awesome.
- (May chuckles)
You still saving the world
at the dispatch center?
DARIUS: What are you talking about?
May quit and she enrolled
in school, like, months ago.
And you didn't call me?
We're practically neighbors.
I'm sorry, I've just been trying
to stay focused in my classes.
Hustle hard, right?
- That's what's up.
- (chuckles)
Yo, can I get you guys anything?
- A beer, a seltzer?
- Seltzer me.
Nothing for me, thanks.
'Cause you got an early
morning class tomorrow?
- No, but I did drive.
- Cool.
So, um, this is Hank,
he's an engineering student,
and that's Felipe,
- he's in design school.
- Hmm.
Sorry, I didn't
I didn't catch your name.
No, you didn't. But, uh,
I was just leaving.
From my own home where I pay rent.
♪
Uh
- (door slams)
- He must be having a day.
Every day is a day with Erik.
Dude takes a little getting used to,
but he pays the rent on time
and he cleans up after himself.
So, what more can you ask for?
- (chuckles) Manners?
- (laughs)
HIRO: Come on, let me show you to
the more socially appropriate roommates.
Great.
♪
So who's this mystery crush
of Christopher's?
EDDIE: No idea. He's not spilling,
I don't feel like pushing.
Isn't he kind of young to start dating?
It's not like he's taking 'em
out to dinner and a movie.
He's just going out to a school party.
Look, there is nothing wrong
with a little harmless
adolescent infatuation.
So, how old were you when you
had your first crush, Buckaroo?
Uh, kindergarten. Miss Garcia. RIP.
I can't believe we're doing this.
I know. We're finally about
to live our fantasy.
- (siren wailing)
- (horn honking)
("What's Your Fantasy?"
by Ludacris playing)
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
This is gonna be so much better
than a plane.
Everybody does a plane. This is legend.
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
Give it to me now, give it to me now ♪
CHIMNEY: Hen, tell
us about your first kiss.
This kid Ricardo
Sanchez was my first kiss.
Sixth grade.
Someone dared us to make out
- under the bleachers.
- Ooh, salacious.
HEN: I was not aware there
was gonna be tongue involved,
so essentially he just
licked my lips for, like,
five seconds, and then I ran away.
(laughs) That sounds traumatizing.
Illuminating.
I realized I was kissing
the wrong Suarez.
His sister Martina was more my speed.
Ah. Right.
EDDIE: We've drifted off topic.
Christopher isn't
kissing anyone. He's not.
We can do it in the DJ booth ♪
Right?
With cherries
and strawberries on top ♪
Lick it, don't stop,
keep the door locked ♪
Don't knock while the boat rock ♪
- (panting)
- (squeals, laughs)
EDDIE: I know it's normal.
I just didn't think Christopher
was old enough yet.
Maybe the problem is
it makes you feel old.
- Wait till he starts shaving.
- Before you know it,
someone's gonna be calling you Grandpa.
I don't know why
I tell you guys anything.
Who else you gonna talk to?
Carla. From now on,
I'm only talking to Carla.
DISPATCHER (over radio):
Dispatch to 118,
reports of a fire at DuPont RV Storage.
Copy that, Dispatch, 118 responding.
(siren wailing)
- This just keeps getting better.
- (both laugh)
And I wanna move from the bed ♪
Down to the, down to the ♪
- (loud thud)
- Uh, what was that?
You make it so good
I don't wanna leave ♪
But I gotta kn-kn-kn-know ♪
What's-what's your fantasy? ♪
You guys secured all the gear and locked
the compartment doors?
- Yes.
- Yeah.
And I wanna move from
the bed down to the ♪
You better take Wilcox.
There's construction up ahead.
(siren wailing)
Whoa! Oh!
- Oh!
- (thuds)
Stop the engine. Pull over.
Try to stay still, sir.
LAFD. We're here to help.
- (groaning)
- All right.
Looks like we got
second-degree abrasions,
separated shoulder.
(pained groans)
Try to stay still, sir.
Irregular pupillary responses
indicating a probable concussion.
Let's get him a C-collar
and start irrigating these wounds.
Dispatch, this is Captain Nash, 118.
We've encountered a trauma
victim in transit.
Looks like we won't be able
to make that RV Storage fire.
There aren't any tall buildings
around here.
Right, and unless that song
was based in truth,
I don't think it's ever
actually raining men.
(groaning)
I don't think he fell from the sky.
- Ah
- Uh
Hi.
Hello.
Is he gonna be okay?
BOBBY: What the hell
were you two thinking
- hitching a ride up there?
- I don't know.
You don't know.
What do you mean you don't know?
It was just something
we always fantasized about.
Having sex on top of a firetruck.
Oh, hey, like Backdraft.
Backdraft was a seminal
influence on Buck's life.
Sorry, poor choice of words.
That has to be the dumbest,
most dangerous
and dumbest fantasy I've ever heard of.
And it's not a truck, it's an engine.
(phone line ringing)
MAY: Hey. I'm at Hiro's house
to scoop you.
DARIUS: Hey, my
bad, I got stuck in traffic.
You can just hang inside
until I get home.
- I'll be there in, like, ten.
- Okay.
You again. Why are you here?
Hi. I'm just waiting for Darius.
It should only be a few minutes.
I feel like we got off on
the wrong foot the other night.
I'm May.
Okay.
Sure seems like it could be hard
to study in a house this busy.
So many distractions.
Uh, what's your major?
I'm not a student.
The need for post-secondary
education is a myth
propagated to keep young people too
distracted to see what's really there.
Which is?
Nothing.
(scoffs)
Wow, that's That's a little bleak.
So what's the point, then, if we're
just living in a void of nothingness?
Because where there is nothing,
there is only room for growth.
What kind of growth?
You wouldn't understand.
- Oh, let me help you with those.
- I don't need your help.
Okay.
Nice talking to you.
♪
MAY (over phone): I'm telling
you, there's some kind of plan
written in this book.
What kind of plan?
There's all these rants about
a female conspiracy
to keep men down, and that
the world will only grow
- if it burns.
- I don't know
what kind of fantasy
this man is living in,
but is there a specific target
indicated?
A supermarket, nightclub,
train station? Anything.
No specifics. It's all kind of coded.
But there are steps.
"Steps To Glory," actually.
"Recon, weaponize, execute, escape."
We have no idea which step he's on.
Is there any chance
I'm just overreacting?
I know I saw something,
so I needed to say something,
I just don't want to
wrongfully accuse someone
for what I know could just be
some very dark fiction.
Listen, May, fantasy or not, there's
no room for error in these situations.
Okay, so we put him on a watch list,
investigate firearm purchases,
past or pending,
and pursue a red tag temporary
restraining order?
My thoughts exactly,
but in the meantime,
you need to steer clear
of this young man.
Darius can come stay with us
if he needs to.
Oh, my God, Darius.
Hey, what-what's going on?
What's-what's going on?
You lost your phone?
- I can I can call
- No, it's not a phone.
It's a book, and it belongs to me.
Sure. It's just a book.
I mean, we could get you another copy.
No, there's no copy!
That bitch girlfriend of yours stole it.
Whoa, whoa, you-you cannot
call her that.
(phone chimes, vibrates)
I gotta go.
You're not going anywhere.
(indistinct radio chatter)
- Hey.
- Hey.
Darius won't answer. I didn't see if
he ever went inside the house,
but Erik is definitely still in there.
All right, good. Maybe Darius is
still just stuck in traffic.
- (phone vibrating)
- Who's that calling?
Darius.
Darius? Hello? Are you all right?
We each have something
that belongs to the other.
Just bring it back
and everything will be okay.
Speak.
DARIUS: May, just-just do as he says.
He's got me in his room.
He's-he's gonna kill me.
Doesn't seem like anyone else is inside.
We shut down the street at both ends.
Now, hopefully one of
the other roommates
will show up and give us
the layout inside.
I put in a request for HRT and SWAT,
but I'm not sure they're
gonna make it here in time.
How desperate do you think this kid is?
Well, last step of his plan was escape.
Whatever he was gonna do,
seems like he was hoping
to make it out alive.
Oh, he was headed to Mexico.
- He know we're outside?
- Unfortunately, yes.
Great. So we lost the element
of surprise, too.
You know, I would feel better
if he was talking to someone
who'd had training.
He is.
Erik, I am sorry that I stole your book.
It's your property, and that can
be upsetting for you.
ERIK: You don't know
anything. I had plans.
Big plans, and you ruined them.
So now I got a new plan.
Which is?
Kill your boyfriend,
and break your pathetic little heart.
You're not mad at Darius, Erik.
- He is not the one you want to hurt.
- Huh?
Oh, you're offering to take his place?
The police would never let that happen.
Surprisingly honest.
- I try to be.
- Oh, no, that is a lie.
Girls like you are all liars!
You know, they say they want a
nice guy like me, but that's not true.
What they really want is
some macho jackass
to treat them like crap.
Isn't that right, pretty boy?
I'm not like that, man.
Darius is a good guy.
He hasn't done anything to you.
He doesn't deserve this.
What about what I deserve?
What do you think you deserve, Erik?
You have my book, don't you?
That tells it all.
Well, I'd rather get the information
straight from the source.
What do you want people
to know about you?
I want people to know
that I was brave enough to stand up
against the conspiracy to keep men down.
The mainstream media
and the lies they peddle.
Protecting pedophiles and prosecuting
the true heroes of this country!
HRT is on the way, but it's at least
- another 20 minutes for SWAT.
- I'm not sure
Darius has that much time.
No way, he's spiraling.
He knows that his options are
running out real soon.
Why do you say that?
Erik's a creep, not an idiot.
But we just cannot risk going in there
without knowing where he is.
But what if we did know?
If I could get him by a window?
Yeah, do it. You two, come with me.
ERIK: Are you even listening to me?
I-I'm listening.
And thank you so much for educating me
on these really important issues, Erik.
I wish we could
continue this conversation.
It's really helping me, but
I'm afraid we've run out of time.
What does that mean?
SWAT and HRT are here.
They're taking over the scene.
From now on it's just gonna be snipers
and tactical teams running the show.
That's bull.
Why didn't I hear them pull up?
When there's a hostage situation
in a residential area,
SWAT rolls cold.
No lights, no sirens.
Darius knows what I'm talking about.
May knows what she's talking about.
She was a 911 dispatcher for two years.
Why should I believe you?
You shouldn't.
You're smarter than me, right?
Maybe you should just
take a look for yourself.
You son of a bitch!
Drop your weapon!
Now.
You come at me and I'll put you down.
This is not how it was supposed to go.
It's not
It's not fair.
It's not fair. (sobbing)
Please
Cuff him.
(stammers) Please, no, no, no, no.
No, please stop. Ple
I'm sor I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry!
(indistinct radio chatter)
(helicopter passing)
(siren chirps)
Feeling okay?
Still a little shook, but, um,
I'll be all right.
I'm sorry I didn't warn you in time.
It's my fault that you were in danger
because I took his book.
Don't blame yourself
for that lunatic's actions.
You saved my life, May.
You saved a lot of lives.
Just doing my job. My old job.
It's kind of crazy how you just
took that guy down with a phone.
(laughs) Yeah, I-I had great training.
It was badass.
You know I wouldn't blame you
if you had second thoughts
- about moving back here.
- Are you kidding?
Look, I've realized
that there's no place
I'd rather be than here.
(May chuckles)
(goat bleating)
(whooping)
Aah!
You know, I thought this place
was gonna be lame,
but it's actually kind of cool.
Since when do I take you to lame places?
The dentist, the doctor, school.
(chuckles) You're an ungrateful child.
- Can I get a turkey leg?
- Yeah.
Here, get three.
And bring back two.
Look, swords.
Now, rise, Dame Dottie the Dutiful.
Dutiful?
I know I'm a knight now,
but can't it be something different?
Like Dottie the Magnificent?
It's your fantasy.
It can be whatever you want it to be.
Heroes come in all shapes and sizes.
ALL: Huzzah!
(cheering)
Oh, hey, uh, what do you think?
- Uh, it's a little small for you.
- Uh-huh.
It's for Jee-Yun.
Oh. Your sister's gonna kill you.
That's what being an uncle is all about.
No, I just
I figured it's never too soon
for her to learn
that girls can be heroes, too.
Facts. You should probably get her
- one of these little shields, too.
- Yes.
- How 'bout this one right here?
- There you go.
- Oh, oh. You're in, huh?
- Don't come for me.
- Don't come for me!
- You're in. Come on, come on!
Good to see you back on your feet, sir.
No kidding. Don't know how
this whole operation
didn't fall apart without me.
Right.
My letter of resignation.
No offense, but
working for you is just too stressful.
I understand. Not everyone's
built for my pace.
There's one more thing.
A letter of recommendation.
I was hoping you would sign it.
"He's a real lifesaver"?
Hand me a pen.
RITA: How long do we have?
They said they were
releasing me after lunch.
Good.
That should be more than enough time.
- (TV playing)
- You know what? You're right.
This does feel like a movie theater.
CHIMNEY: And the
snacks are so much cheaper.
(Maddie laughs)
So how long are we gonna
be able to convince ourselves
that this is a sustainable way to live?
As long as we need to.
When the right dream house
presents itself, we'll know.
But in the meantime,
this is a pretty great fantasy, too.
- Oh.
- Oh
You see it? You see it?
- It's so cute.
- Oh, that is so cute.
How can you not think that's cute?
CARLA: So how long do you
plan on standing guard out here?
Just until they get inside.
And we can hang out in the car after.
It's a chaperoned school function.
He's not shipping out
for a year-long tour.
(both laugh)
When you know you're having kids,
you have all these expectations
of what life's gonna be like, you know?
The milestones.
The first words, first steps
First crush.
(laughs)
Then they tell you your kid's
gonna be different,
and he's gonna have challenges
other kids don't.
They warn you to manage
your expectations.
All those milestones start to seem like
a stupid fantasy.
CARLA: Looks like that fantasy's
turning into a reality.
(sighs)
How's that feel?
- Pretty damn good.
- (Carla chuckles)
Yeah. Well, the school says
this is gonna last three hours.
Hmm.
Wait, wait, are you calling
for a ride home, 'cause
And miss this milestone?
Hell no. (chuckles)
I'm ordering takeout.
How you feel about dim sum?
(both laugh)
BOBBY: With everything May
and Darius have been through,
I don't mind waiting
for dinner, but how much longer?
I think they're almost done.
How are you feeling about all this?
Seeing my daughter safe and happy
is a dream come true.
There is nothing quite like
being young and in love.
Or just in love.
Mm.