Baby Daddy s06e08 Episode Script

1 Dude! Are you okay? Tucker! I think that's her! I think that's Elle! Oh my I thought you were totally over Elle, man.
At least that was the impression I got last night when you were all, "I'm totally over Elle.
" Yeah, well, that was until she walked into my bar.
Just wish there was a subtle way I can get her attention.
[glasses breaking.]
I don't know.
You think that's her? I know.
Hey, Elle! Is your name Elle? No? Okay.
It's not her.
Okay, you're right.
I guess I don't know who I saw on the street six months ago.
Maybe I am starting' to sound like a crazy person.
Maybe? Ben, this whole concept of strangers falling in love and searching for each other is ridiculous.
Ben! Oh my god.
It's really you.
Megan said she saw you here, but I didn't believe her.
Six months, I waited for you.
I'm about to get married across the street, and this is when you decide to show up? I gotta go.
Who was that? I have no idea.
You seriously don't know who that was? Not a clue, but whatever we did, I was apparently very good at it.
- Let's go.
- Wait.
Where? Um, she just said she's getting married across the street, man.
We'll We'll walk in, we'll snag a program, and hopefully some dark corner of your brain will remember what you did to that girl.
I don't know, man.
My brain's got an awful lot of dark corners.
Oh my god, this ship is amazing.
Twenty-four hours of activities mixed with 24 hours of food? Am I dead? Because this must be heaven.
Twenty-four hours of salty, sunny, delicious heaven.
You know what else this ship has? A chapel ha, could be pretty romantic.
Please, tell me you're joking, because that is so not happening while I look like this.
Hah! Course I'm joking [mouths.]
Hey, guys! I was just scoping out your cabin before I leave.
It turns out it's true what they say it's much easier to get drunk at sea.
We're not at sea.
Really? Because I'm shipwrecked.
[laughs.]
Aye, aye, aye.
Woo well, hello, Captain.
Mmm.
Thank you again.
I I can't believe you and Brad gave us a cruise.
Well, if you consider your poor legal skills the reason Brad's in prison, then you sort of gave yourself this cruise.
[three chimes.]
Aw well, I guess that means goodbye, Mrs.
Wheeler.
Or in nautical terms, shove off.
I'll be right in.
I'm just gonna walk Mom out.
Hey, Mom, can you keep a secret? Oh, sure I can.
Just ask your sister in Phoenix.
The next time you see me, I'm gonna be a married man.
- Riley and I are going to elope.
- You're what? This cruise is gonna be perfect.
It's just gonna be us and the open ocean, all alone, and I'm gonna overwhelm her with so much romance, she'll forget why she keeps saying "No, no, no," and she'll finally say "Yes! Yes! Yes!" Ahh I'm sorry, it's just so romantic.
Danny you're gonna get married without me? But you're my first born, my baby.
You were there at my first wedding, I should be there at yours.
Well, you just can't be.
And I need you to be happy for me, Mom.
- I love you.
- Oh, sweetie, I love you, too.
[sighs.]
Ex Excuse me Is this the Aloha deck? I I'm looking for 37B.
Oh, um ha-ha.
Lemme see this.
You know what? Here is the problem.
You are actually on the Sayonara deck.
Yeah, that's just two floors down, take a left, a left, another left, and there's two more lefts and it's right there.
No, wait, it's left there, you'll see it.
Uh, you'll see it.
"Sayonara.
" Man, I crack myself up.
Oh damn it! Sorry! Got it.
I told the usher that I was the groom's cousin Chester, and that I'd just driven in from Poughkeepsie, where I have a summer job working in a timber mill.
I mean, the pay is decent but the hours suck.
[Laughs.]
I may have given too much detail.
Her name's Annabelle, but I don't know any Annabelles.
- Are you sure? - A hundred percent.
I always rhyme girls' names so I don't forget them.
Cassie, really sassy you know Lauren, kinda boring'.
Suzanne, turned out to be a well, we don't need to talk about Suzanne.
But uh, yeah, no, uh, no Annabelles.
Yeah, man, well, she sure seems to know you.
Which is why we should probably get the hell Be cool, be cool.
[whispering.]
I know.
Oh my god, I can't believe you actually had the nerve to show up.
Hi.
Tucker Dobbs.
My associate here can occasionally be described as a horrible person, so any insight you have into his actions would be greatly appreciated.
What he's trying to say You don't even know who she is, do you? - Yeah, that.
- Hah! That's too bad, since you're apparently soul mates, who happened to bump into each other at a bar, on a train, and her favorite juice place all in one day two years ago.
At least that's the way she's told it to me 600 times.
Dude, this is just like you and Elle.
This is nothing like me and Elle.
Dude, let's get outta here.
Oh! You're not going anywhere! The wedding was supposed to start 20 minutes ago, but Annabelle refuses to come out of the bridal suite.
So you're gonna go in there and tell her the truth.
You have no idea who she is, and no feelings for her, whatsoever.
Oh, my morning after speech.
Gotcha.
Danny! Hi where have you been? You missed the couples-only skeet shooting showdown! I'm sorry, but I was busy securing us a private lunch on the back deck.
It might not be a contest, but you already won my love.
Oh god, I can't even think about food right now.
I've already hurled three times today.
That might have less to do with being pregnant, and more to do with the hot dog eating contest that I won.
Well, maybe you should go lie down.
Or, even better, we could go lie down together.
I'm sorry, there is no way I can even think about lying down right now when there is so much for us to do.
All right, there is a ping pong trophy with our name on it.
No, seriously, I put our name on it, I am that confident.
Oh will you go get our camera, I want a picture of our big win.
Not the picture I was hoping' to be posing' for but sure.
Thank you.
Of course I am Edgar Baldersnatch.
Mm.
You think I had it bad, my dad's name was Mary.
Mom? What are you doing' here? What? God, who are you? What year is it? Help! Mom, you can't just fake memory loss every time you wanna get outta something'.
Uch! Fine! I refuse to let you and Riley get married without me.
Well, there might not be a wedding.
Every time I try to bring it up, she runs off to another activity.
All right.
I will help you convince Riley to marry you, but I want something in return.
An invite to the ceremony.
Fine.
But I want something in return, too.
Help getting' Riley to marry me.
Okay.
You drive a hard bargain, but I'm in.
[knocking on door.]
Go away.
Hey, it's Ben.
Oh, my god! You came for me! I knew you would! Well, at least one part of me seems to remember you.
And everyone said I was crazy.
Well, who's crazy now? Not me! Because you're here! I am so sorry that I ever doubted our connection.
I should've never stopped looking.
Yeah, about that connection.
How to put this delicately.
I honestly have no memory of you whatsoever.
You have amnesia? Can this get any more romantic? No! [Laughs.]
No, n no, I I don't know who you are.
I don't remember seeing you, I've never spent even a second thinking about you.
What? No! That's That's not true.
How else do you explain the fact that you're standing here now? I'm easily led astray and your maid of honor is slightly terrifying? Oh my god! Oh my god, this cannot be happening.
I I obviously can't marry Carlos now.
Wait! You're calling off the wedding because of me? Of course because of you! And I don't care if you remember me or not.
You're here on my wedding day.
It's clearly a sign.
Hey, this Carlos, he's not like a big guy, is he? No! He's actually quite small for a boxer.
So when are you gonna see her again? Annabelle? How about never? Well, what if you guys really do have a connection? I mean, she's got boobs and a pulse, so yeah, we've got a connection, but not a call-off-your-wedding kinda connection.
Who does that? You! You would do that! Let's just say I actually believed in your your stupid, she's-the-one soul mate nonsense, okay? Maybe this whole Elle business was just the universe telling you that there really is someone out there for you, and maybe that someone is Annabelle.
I don't know what do you think, Emma? Go out with her.
Well, I suppose since she called off her wedding, she probably doesn't have any plans tonight.
Hey, don't forget to sign up for the raffle.
The winner gets to drive the boat.
Twenty bucks a ticket, huh? No? Okay, all right.
Mom! What are you doing? Brenda Wong, cruise director, at your service.
How is that gonna help get Riley to marry me? Unless you stage a wedding competition, she's not gonna show up.
Wait.
Should we stage a wedding competition? Riley'll do anything to win.
No, but what I can do is alter the schedule to make sure that you and Riley get some alone time together.
For example lip sync battle at 3:00, bah-bye! That's perfect now we just need to get her in the marrying mood.
I've already got you covered.
Show time.
Excuse me is this chair taken? Well, I was thinking' about pushing' 'em together to spread out, but sure.
Is this your first? You and your husband must be really excited.
Yeah, we are.
Uh, he's not my husband yet.
And if he continues to blow me off on this cruise, he'll be someone else's husband.
Well, what are you waiting for? It looks like you're about to pop.
Not that it's any of your business, but, uh it's it's just not the right time.
I was in love with a wonderful man once.
George.
We were gonna get married, but it was never "the right time" for us, either.
Sadly, he never came back from the war.
Why not? Seriously? He died! It was too late, we waited too long.
You never know what's gonna happen.
How much clearer do I need to be? Well, I just think, if if you'd married George, you would've been a lonely widow, so you're really lucky you dodged that bullet.
I'm sorry.
I I'm sure you ended up meeting a great guy you never would've met otherwise.
Actually, I did.
I never would've met Harold, the love of my life and husband for almost 40 years.
See? So it all worked out.
What a great story.
Have a nice day.
[scoffs.]
Wow, Helen! Way to stay on message.
Nobody gives a crap about Harold! I'm so sorry for your loss.
George sounded like a great guy.
He was an ass.
Now how about those drink tickets I was promised? No, I don't think so.
The deal was, you got these if you convinced her.
That wasn't the deal! - That was the deal - No, it wasn't - Yes, it was! - Were you even in Cats? - Give it to me! - No! Just let go! Ohh! [Screams, thuds.]
Wow.
Right on top of Edgar.
I'm almost too good at this.
[Laughs.]
I can't believe this is really happening.
I know.
Me neither.
I think we may actually have a connection.
This is crazy, but maybe you were right.
This is all wrong.
Please tell me you're talking about the salmon.
No.
This everything.
I mean I literally feel nothing for you whatsoever.
Oh, well, don't hold back.
I mean, you're not even a doctor.
Never said I was.
And you don't race motorcycles.
Where would you do that in New York? And I thought you'd be funny.
I always pictured us laughing till it hurts.
You didn't like my joke about the fat guy? I was actually quite offended.
Oh, my god, everyone was right! I built up a couple of stupid coincidences into this perfect relationship.
I never should've called off my wedding! Ben Wheeler, you ruined my life! Huh.
Annabelle, made her life a living' hell.
Consider yourself remembered! Only you could ruin it with someone who's been obsessed with you for six months.
I just I feel so bad for her.
Really? 'Cause I feel bad for you, man.
You should really stop taking my advice.
I have not been right once.
You know what, Tucker? You were right.
This whole business was the universe trying' to tell me that there is someone out there for me.
But it's Elle, not Annabelle.
And I know it now more than ever.
Too bad I had to ruin someone's life just to learn that.
Seems like a small price to pay.
- We have to help her.
- What? Oh, no, man, we already helped her realize you're not right for her, that that just seems like a lotta helping in one day.
[knocking on door.]
Ma, you in there? [knocking on door.]
That's Captain Mom to you, son.
Why are you wearing that? Because the real captain is terrible at strip poker.
- So were you able to do it? - Yep, you two will be the only passengers in tonight's dance contest.
Which is now being held on the top deck underneath the stars.
Captain's orders.
That's perfect.
Thank you, Mom.
I just know this is gonna be the romantic kick in the heart she needs.
We're gonna remember this night for the rest of our lives.
There she is! Oh, Baldersnatch! That's the woman who stole my cabin, and then she dropped a lady on me! There's the woman that tried to kill me! That is absurd! And as your captain, I order you to kill this woman! Hey, could you keep it down? I don't want Riley Hey, what is Mrs.
Wheeler? What are you doing here? Surprise! That's it, you know, just "Surprise.
" She was trying' to get you to marry the big one.
Marry him? What are you talking about? You better lock him down.
I would if I were into white guys.
Look, Riley, this isn't at all how I wanted you to find out about this.
I just had this crazy idea that if the moment was just right, we could elope on the cruise.
So instead of spending time with the woman you love, you've spent this entire trip with your mother, plotting to have a wedding we've already discussed we will have after the baby is born.
It's too bad this cruise doesn't have a competition for ignoring your girlfriend, 'cause you would've taken first place.
Riley I seriously cannot thank you enough.
At least my obsession turned out to be a sweet, thoughtful guy.
Yeah, you really don't get me at all.
So Not happening.
I can't believe you were able to convince Carlos to give me a second chance.
Come on, you're an amazing girl.
You ready to marry the love of your life? Well, I'm not sure that really exists, but he's a good guy.
Okay, I'm ready.
You can signal the minister.
["Bridal March" playing.]
Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hold it! [music stops.]
Isn't he the one? Your soul mate, isn't that why you're marrying him? Y You just proved to me the one doesn't exist.
But he's pretty great.
Let's go.
["Bridal March" playing.]
Hold, hold, hold, hold, hold! [music stops.]
Pretty great? My breakfast burrito was pretty great.
Pretty great shouldn't lead you down the aisle.
Awesome, amazing, can't live without you.
Those are the things you should be feeling about the person you're gonna marry.
The way you felt about Carlos before you ever walked into my bar.
You're right.
I totally get it.
Great! Let's do this! ["Bridal March" playing.]
No, I don't feel any of those things.
Thanks, Ben.
Can you tell Carlos for me? Bye! Wait! Where are you going? Well, maybe if we'd been allowed to pack before we got kicked off, I wouldn't have forgotten my keys.
I'll get the spare set from the office.
Whoa.
What is all this? You kidding me? I just said I didn't want to get married.
This wasn't me, I swear.
Oh, yeah, okay, there just miraculously happens to be a wedding set up at the bar where we have to come get our keys? You are honestly unbelievable.
- Riley - Seriously, stop trying to marry me.
Don't worry.
I'm done.
Forgive me for wanton' to tell the world that I found the most perfect girl, and I wanna spend the rest of my life with her.
See, I don't care where it happens or what you look like when it happens.
I just want it to happen! Because to me, you're everything! I'm so sorry if that makes me a terrible person.
Danny Riley? Hey, what are you doing' here? Your mom stowed away and got us kicked off the cruise ship.
Ohh.
I was wondering why I had such a nice weekend.
Hey, any chance you wanna help me clean up this wedding I was trying' to throw for a girl I don't know? Wait.
This isn't for me? Uhh, no, and I don't know if anyone's ever told you this, but you can be a tad self-centered.
[elevator dings.]
There you are! - Hey, Mom.
- I've been calling you for hours! Are you okay? I don't know.
Riley and I had a really big fight.
Oh, honey, well, why don't we just go inside and talk about it? What is all this? It's our wedding.
I've been putting this off for all of the wrong reasons when I should have been focused on the one right reason that I wanna spend the rest of my life with you.
[sniffs.]
So what do you say? Will you marry me? You sure? I've never been more sure about anything.
Shall we? Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of Danny and Riley.
I'm sorry for getting' you into that whole mess with Annabelle.
It's okay.
I'm going' for drinks with Carlos next week.
He's gonna teach me how to box.
At least that's what I hope he's doing.
He kept saying, "I can't wait to get you in the ring.
" Well, good luck with that.
I'm off.
Hey, you end up getting' a date with Vikki? Oh, no.
New York is full of weddings, and weddings are full of bridesmaids.
The math is on my side.
It's only a matter of time.