Comic Book Men s06e08 Episode Script
Stash-Troopers
1 [upbeat music.]
In the "Star Wars" universe, what was the criteria for the Rebellion to pick their pilots? I mean, look at Porkins.
Obviously there's no physical Porkins proved his weight no pun intended [laughter.]
time and time again though, and he still He was in one battle and he died! - A hero.
- Yeah, died.
He died a hero fighting for the Rebellion, though.
You've seen athletes, like let's say William "The Refrigerator" Perry, the most famous lineman maybe in the history of the NFL.
Are you saying that he would be unfit to fly one of the Rebellion fighters? I don't see him up in space leading any Rebellion, uh, squadrons.
It's 'cause it's guys like you body shaming Rebel pilots.
[laughter.]
That it's just that no, it's just not cool, man.
I'm not body shaming anyone.
[laughter.]
I'm asking about I'm asking, how does Porkins fit in there, first off? I mean, it's a rebellion.
Anybody who was willing to stand up and sit in that cockpit, they were happy to have 'em.
Even if they had a hard time standing up, like Porkins.
[laughter.]
[heroic music.]
[laughs.]
Sync and Corrections by: kDragon Hello and welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show where the Force awakens and then hits the snooze button.
I'm Kevin Smith.
-Bryan Johnson.
-Walt Flanagan.
-Mike Zapcic.
-Ming Chen.
All right, man, I know thrilling things are going on in my absence.
Fill me on what they are.
Our old friend the Doctor came back for a visit to the Stash this week.
What did he bring with him this time? The good doctor knows that sometimes it takes more than medicine to make a body feel good.
[upbeat music.]
Oh, the Doc's here! Hey, what's up? We haven't seen you in a while, Doc.
Yeah.
What's going on? Oh, same old, same old.
What brings you back to the Stash? I wanted to come in and see you guys, and, uh, also brought the Ewok Village playset.
See if you guys would be interested in buying it.
Ooh.
I've got everything inside.
Do you wanna put it together and take a look? - I'd love to see it.
- Yeah, bust it out.
Anytime you come, we know we're gonna be impressed.
Got some figures in here as well, so we can set up the whole scene.
Oh, yeah.
Set up these awesome trees.
The elevator.
Barbecue spit.
- What do Ewoks eat? - Humans.
Do you remember, they captured Han Solo, they said they were gonna eat him, they put him on that barbecue spit.
Yeah, I forgot about that.
You're absolutely right.
They were gonna eat him until C3PO was like, "You can't do this," and they thought he was a god.
They couldn't eat him, 'cause he was metal.
[laughter.]
Ewoks seem to be a demarcation line with a lot of oldschool "Star Wars" fans.
Like, we made jokes about it in "Clerks," about like, "All 'Jedi' had was a bunch of Muppets.
" I gotta be honest, I wanted to love "Star Wars: Return of the Jedi" so much I was like, "I think I like that.
" I had to keep convincing myself, "I liked it, I liked it, I like the Ewoks.
" You know, because I just was not willing to allow myself to think, even for a second, that I was disappointed.
Wow.
Give us the tour of the village.
In the bottom here, there's a net to trap any of the figurines.
This had a working elevator.
Crank this thing up.
If you cranked it too much, it'dit'd flip out.
[laughter.]
The spit actually works, it's like a rotisserie.
[laughter.]
A boulder to smash the, uh, enemies when they would come strolling on by.
[laughter.]
Sometimes it flies off.
Did we ever ask you why why Doctor continuously comes here to sell his toys? Every year I go out and I teach emergency medicine at a hospital in India.
So the idea is, you know, if I sell this, get a couple bucks and purchase some, um, emergency medicine review books.
You're saying if we purchase the Ewok Village, we'll be helping another country? Yes, practice and learn emergency medicine.
- That's heavy, man.
- Yeah, lives are on stake here.
Pssh, another day at the Stash.
[laughter.]
I think we can move this pretty quick.
The interest never wanes on "Star Wars" items.
- Yeah.
- All right, what do you need to get for it? So I think, uh, $225 would be fair.
Would you think less of me, Doc, if I were to negotiate on it? I mean Yeah, I mean, you've got a business to run, so I know how business works.
I mean What do you think, Ming? I I mean, I know you're going off to save lives.
Yeah.
I know that's where - the money's going towards, but - But I don't care! [laughter.]
I I do care.
I mean, wewe still we have to we have to sell this and make a profit.
So negotiate a little bit.
I can't wait for the doc to be handing out textbooks, and he's like, "Sorry, not you.
" [laughter.]
"Sorry, it's this guy's fault.
" - You show 'em my picture.
- No Would you take, like, $150? How 'bout $200? Uh [stammers.]
- Think of the children.
- You [laughter.]
You go to $160? Yeah, $160's good.
I can do that.
- All right, $160.
- All right, $160.
[register whirs.]
All right.
Thank you.
Thank you.
[marching music.]
Attention, 501st Legion.
Hey, fellas.
Uh, you only get, uh, ten cases of that Harley Quinn figure.
Ten? It's going to be big with that, uh, "Suicide Squad" movie.
[dramatic music.]
Hey, fellas.
[breathes deeply.]
Attention, 501st Legion.
[chuckling.]
How you doing? What can we do for you? Well, we're here for a membership recruitment drive for the 501st Legion.
The 501st Legion.
I've heard of these guys, man.
I can tell you right now, they probably don't have what it takes.
[laughter.]
The 501st, like, it's a really unique organization of people that all dress up like various Imperial dignitaries and whatnot, particularly Stormtroopers.
They actually put together, uh, fundraisers.
They go out in the real world and do things.
But they kept the love for the costume alive for a long, long time.
Cosplaying when cosplaying wasn't necessarily cool.
But the Stormtroopers are back in a big, bad way, thanks to J.
J.
and "The Force Awakens.
" He made them main characters again, and they look like the classic Stormtroopers - that we grew up with.
- Oh, yeah.
You guys look awesome.
I mean, you guys look like you just stepped off the set of a movie.
Straight from the Death Star.
You have quite the reputation, and givin' Stormtroopers a good name.
- Bad guys doing good.
- Bad guys doing good.
You know, we create the costumes ourselves, and we do charity events for hospitals and, uh, library visits.
How many, uh, functions do you guys attend a year? So far this year in queue we have 163 events.
- Just in Jersey.
- Requests.
Just in New Jersey.
Just in Jersey? Wow.
It's a worldwide group, and in the United States every state has its own chapter.
We've got, probably, 9,000 members active right now.
47 different countries across the world.
47 different countries And this is your guys' full time job? Do you guys do this all the time? No, no, this is all volunteer.
I'm a computer programmer and a volunteer firefighter.
I'm a police sergeant.
I'm a high school band director.
I'm a ticket seller at concert and sports venues.
If we join, I don't have to get a job, do I? [laughter.]
So what is it about "Star Wars" that makes all you guys love it so much? Just one of the first things I remember.
I was born in '75.
Movie came out in '77.
I wanted to be a Stormtrooper my whole life, since the first time I saw that white armor walk in.
I'm old enough now, my parents can't tell me no.
[laughter.]
How would one go about your basic Stormtrooper outfit? Easy.
If you're interested in joining, we can help you find, um, a kit, because it has to be screenaccurate in order to join officially.
If you make the costume and you're missing some of the details or some of the greeblies or hoses, we'll help you correct it.
We'll say this is the wrong color or this is the wrong type of switch, and we'll help you help you get it accurate.
Can you can you take me through all the details? Uh, you know, areare these official sto spec? This is 181st style TIE Fighter.
You've got bracers over here, gauntlets.
This is actually a shin pad.
You have an actual modified flight suit.
The pockets are all very specific.
The hoses are actually from various things.
This is a vacuum hose.
So, uh, what about the Stormtrooper costume? My Stormtrooper costume is, uh, fan sculpt.
It was sculpted with correct details, accurate to the movie, including using, uh, casts of the actual aerator part that is the mictip detail.
The button patterns, the way everything is is in here is made to look just like it was in the movies.
There's a little elastic strap in the back.
I mean, we're talking super, super detailed.
What's it madels it made, like, outout of Kevlar? Plastic.
It's all plastic? All plastic.
Won't stop blaster bolts.
Yeah.
[chuckling.]
Yeah, that's right.
They didn't stop the blaster bolts in the movies either, so, I mean [laughter.]
Yeah.
I got to be a Stormtrooper in "The Force Awakens.
" Now, I didn't get to be the guy in the suit, but J.
J.
had me do a voice for one of the Stormtroopers.
Gave me five different scenes to do, and he said, "I'll figure out which one you are later on when I'm putting the movie together.
" It's crazy, dude, and then at the end of the movie, there was my name in the blue font.
I almost wanted to go back in time and tell the young boy at age seven who first saw "Star Wars," like, "One day your name's gonna be in a 'Star Wars' movie," and that little boy would be like, "We're gonna direct 'Star Wars?'" I'd be like, "Oh, no, no, kid.
No, no, no, no, that's for better people.
" [laughter.]
So are you guys interested in joining? Isis there like anthere's, like, a physical exam or Nope.
No physical exam.
Any background checks? [chuckling.]
No.
No, all right.
It's that easy? [laughter.]
You know, I need a little bit of time to think it over, mull it over.
I guess you're kinda right.
I mean, is there any chance we get to try the costumes on first? You know, just to see how they feel Oh, well Ooh.
I don't know.
Before we joined.
I don't know.
We usually don't do that, but, uh, I think we can make a special exception in this case.
Do you wear anything underneath those costumes? Yes.
Okay, good.
[laughter.]
All right, then we can do this.
You gotta ask? Huh? Yeah.
All right, man, let's do it.
All right.
All right, let's go.
Let the battle begin.
[blaster bolts zooming.]
Ohh.
This is, like, huge.
When was the last time you saw one of these bad boys? Stormtroopers are being done to death, man.
If you were to dive into the world of "Star Wars" cosplay, - who would you want to be? - I'm gonna go simple.
I'm just gonna get a cloak and go as Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Smart, man.
Comfort, comfort.
Mm hmm.
Darth Maul.
Yeah, that seems like a lot of work, man.
The painting of the head, the shaving of the head, the horning of the head.
Oh, I just can't get a bald cap, - and some red powder? - It's so weird.
Like, I'm from movie world, and I know that's possible, but my first instinct was like, "It's gonna take a long time.
" [laughter.]
Zap, what about you, man? I'd need lifts for it, but I'd want to be Vader.
Great costume, but you're definitely gonna need the lifts.
Not if you stand next to Ming, though.
[laughing.]
Yeah.
Ah.
What about you, Ming? Who are you cosplaying as? I gotta go Mandalorian.
Boba Fett.
"He's no good to me dead.
" Baby Fett.
[laughter.]
I can't lose this baby Fett.
[laughter.]
So are you guys interested in joining? You know, I need a little bit of time to think it over, mull it over.
Is there any chance we get to try the costumes on first? We usually don't do that, but, uh, I think we can make a special exception in this case.
That's sacrilegious.
You don't ask someone in the 501st if you could put on their armor.
Well, maybe this was the 502nd then, 'cause they [laughter.]
because they let us do it rather easily.
[laughter.]
[dramatic music.]
You all set over here, Bry? Who said that? [laughter.]
All right, on the count of three, let the battle begin.
All right.
One two, three.
[blaster bolts zooming.]
Hey.
[blaster bolts zooming.]
I got you.
I got you, get down.
[blaster bolts zooming.]
Agh! Okay! Let go of my gun! Bastard.
[laughter and groaning.]
[laughter.]
[blaster bolts zooming.]
Do you guys give up yet? [laughter.]
Yeah, there you go.
I hit you.
Lay down! I'm not laying down, you lay down! I must've hit you about 15 times.
- You haven't gone down once.
- I hit you.
If you're not gonna play by the rules, then we're not gonna do it then.
What about you? I hit you 20 times! Lay down! [laughter.]
Wow.
[laughter.]
I want to see your face.
Take off that helmet.
Yeah.
[blaster fires.]
Did you do it right? I thought he was supposed to make him dig his own grave first.
[laughter.]
Thank you so much, man.
We got some new recruits here today or what? We convince you? Well, you know, we still need some time to think about it.
So can we get our costumes back? Ten more minutes.
[chuckling.]
[blaster bolts zooming.]
[upbeat music.]
All right, uh, that'll be $10, please.
All right, thank you.
Have a great day.
You too.
How you doing? Hey, guys, how you doing? Good.
Looking to move a "Empire Strikes Back" movie standee.
Oh, my God.
[laughing.]
Ohh.
Gaze upon cinematic perfection.
Does it still stand? Yes, it does.
You want to see? Oh, my God.
You're right back in the theater.
It's 1980.
This is the, uh, rerelease edition.
Ohh, okay.
What was different in the re release? Anything? Same thing.
They just wanted to keep making money.
Right.
"Return of the Jedi" was coming out.
Are you a big "Star Wars" fan? Oh, yeah, ever since I was little.
I mean, my dad took me to the, uh, movie theaters to see this.
I was, like, five or six.
- First movie I probably ever saw.
- Really? And my dad knew the theater owner.
That's how I got this.
I was just blown away.
I mean, this is, like, huge.
Of course I was a big "Star Wars" kid, and I mean a big "Star Wars" kid.
and also a big "Star Wars" kid.
So "Empire Strikes Back" was huge for us.
It was the first time that I got excited for, like, oh, something's coming that means something to me, and I'm already invested in it 'cause I've seen the movie, and there's gonna be more.
You know, now it's a sequel world, but back then, not so much.
Like, the notion of "Jaws 2" was even foreign at that time.
Where they're like, "You're gonna do it again?" [laughter.]
When you heard there was a "Star Wars" sequel, how excited were you? It couldn't be measured, how excited I was, and I don't think I've ever seen a sequel come out that surpassed the original.
From beginning to end, perfect movie.
The best "Star Wars" movie ever made.
Not only the best though.
I think the most quotable.
Throw out your favorite quotes.
Uh, "Do or do not, there is no try.
" "I'm ready to be trained, I'm not afraid.
" "You will be.
" "Size matters not.
Judge me by my size, do you?" Sounds like you they meant a little bit more to you, these quotes.
[chuckles.]
Well, it was in his wedding vows.
[laughter.]
So why are you selling it today? Well, my true passion now is antique cars.
I have a '69 Dodge Charger that I'm restoring.
They're not cheap to do right, so something like this would definitely help out a lot with the restoration.
All right, what are you looking to get for it? I'm looking to get $500.
What do you think, Mike? Well, I haven't seen many of these online, but the creases are kinda shot.
The edges are a little dogeared, and you gotta take that into consideration.
What about $200? Split the difference, $350? How about $225? $275.
When was the last time you saw one of these bad boys? $275? You're right, I haven't seen one of these in a while.
That's why, $275.
Done.
[register whirs.]
Thank you.
Thank you, guys.
- Have a great day.
- Pleasure.
Take care.
This is my "Episode 1" R2 D2 cooler.
I've never seen one of these.
[upbeat music.]
Hey, how you doing? Hey, how's it going, man? How are you? What do you got there? This is my "Episode 1" R2 D2 cooler.
Wh I've never seen one of these.
So wait a minute, what is this thing? This thing is actually a cooler.
Basically, it was, like, a display unit.
They used to fill it up with ice.
Oh, 'cause you can throw the sodas in there.
Yeah.
That's why it says "Brisk" on it.
These were, like, in every convenience store when they rereleased "The Phantom Menace" in 3D just a couple years ago.
Any fool could open up a cooler and grab a drink, but to get one out of R2D2 Yeah, not any fool can just stick their hand in ain a garbage can and pull out a soda.
[laughter.]
You get you get my point.
Is he your favorite droid, R2 D2? Uh, he's gotta be up there, if if not my favorite droid.
If I remember correctly in in "Force Awakens," R2D2 shut down because Master Luke went away.
- Yeah.
- Much like that time when I went on vacation and Mike tells me that you didn't do any work, you were in inconsolable.
Ththatthat wasn't really out of depression, though.
[laughter.]
C3PO or R2D2, who do people love more? - Oh, hands down, R2D2.
- Why though? C-3PO is tolerated at best.
[laughter.]
We all understand what he's saying, and we hate him for it.
[laughter.]
'Cause hecause he's whiny and bitchy and very effete.
"Goodness gracious me.
" Whereas R2D2 seems like the common man.
You seem like you could have a drink with a guy like R2D2.
But he could say so much with that "boopboobloo.
" Totally.
We can anthropomorphize those noises.
It wasn't just like, "Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep.
" It was like, "Booboobooooo.
" And you know you knew R2 was sad, and then you were sad.
Yes, you can empathize with this little piece of metal.
What was going on in your homes? [laughter.]
Do you think this is something that we should have in the Stash? What, if you fill it up with ice every day and sell soda to people? There you go.
It'd pay for itself.
The best part about it is all you have to do is flip the drain in the back.
Once the ice melts, it just drains right out.
So you just wheel it out back by the dumpster and watch it urinate.
[laughter.]
Isn't it a little undignified though for the droid who saved the galaxy on numerous occasions? Jabba the Hutt made him a uh, party droid bartender on the sail barge in "Return of the Jedi," so you'd just be playing it out.
[laughter.]
Yeah, and and I think he'she's the perfect shape for a beverage cooler, I think.
He's also good for a garbage can.
I mean, they even call him a garbage can.
And I wonder, have they marketed that? Is that where Lucasfilms draws the line? They're like, "We're not gonna let you make him a garbage can.
" But didn't I see, like, little children's, like, training potties for R2D2? - They did a potty of R2D2? - Wow.
I think they did.
That's where you'd definitely hear, "Booboobooooo.
" [laughter.]
So what are you looking to get for it today? Um, I was looking $200.
I've seen 'em go for about $300.
Have to sell a lot of soda to make your money back.
You got plenty of room for it.
How 'bout a hundred? $175? It's pretty good shape.
Is there any damage to this? No, if anything, it might be on the bottom feet, but besides that, man Mm, I don't No, II see a crack here.
Oh, a little bit.
Oh, good eye, Ming.
Uh, and there's a little wear here.
Okay, so at at second glance it's not as pristine as we thought, huh? Should we have Ming check its flow? Droid shower? [laughter.]
[shivering.]
[laughter.]
Oh, the Oh, I we gotta have it now, huh? How 'bout $150? I could do $150.
$150? $150, absolutely.
All right, deal.
- $150.
- Awesome.
- Thank you.
- Thank you again, sir.
All right.
Appreciate it.
- Have a great day.
- You guys stay out of trouble.
Thanks.
Now you gotta the worse chewbacca impression.
Let me hearing your R2D2 impression.
- This "Boodooopsss".
- Thiss'll be like a "Uhhgggguuhhaaaauuuiiiilll".
Sound's like a chewbacca.
And just like Wald Dysney, we gonna cryogenic freez our selfs until next week.
Coomic Book Men, I'm Kevin Smith.
-Bryan Johnson.
-Walt Flanagan.
-Mike Zapcic.
-Ming Chen.
If you strike me down, Is should become more powerfull that you can possible imagine.
Good night.
Sync and Corrections by: kDragon
In the "Star Wars" universe, what was the criteria for the Rebellion to pick their pilots? I mean, look at Porkins.
Obviously there's no physical Porkins proved his weight no pun intended [laughter.]
time and time again though, and he still He was in one battle and he died! - A hero.
- Yeah, died.
He died a hero fighting for the Rebellion, though.
You've seen athletes, like let's say William "The Refrigerator" Perry, the most famous lineman maybe in the history of the NFL.
Are you saying that he would be unfit to fly one of the Rebellion fighters? I don't see him up in space leading any Rebellion, uh, squadrons.
It's 'cause it's guys like you body shaming Rebel pilots.
[laughter.]
That it's just that no, it's just not cool, man.
I'm not body shaming anyone.
[laughter.]
I'm asking about I'm asking, how does Porkins fit in there, first off? I mean, it's a rebellion.
Anybody who was willing to stand up and sit in that cockpit, they were happy to have 'em.
Even if they had a hard time standing up, like Porkins.
[laughter.]
[heroic music.]
[laughs.]
Sync and Corrections by: kDragon Hello and welcome to another episode of "Comic Book Men," the only show where the Force awakens and then hits the snooze button.
I'm Kevin Smith.
-Bryan Johnson.
-Walt Flanagan.
-Mike Zapcic.
-Ming Chen.
All right, man, I know thrilling things are going on in my absence.
Fill me on what they are.
Our old friend the Doctor came back for a visit to the Stash this week.
What did he bring with him this time? The good doctor knows that sometimes it takes more than medicine to make a body feel good.
[upbeat music.]
Oh, the Doc's here! Hey, what's up? We haven't seen you in a while, Doc.
Yeah.
What's going on? Oh, same old, same old.
What brings you back to the Stash? I wanted to come in and see you guys, and, uh, also brought the Ewok Village playset.
See if you guys would be interested in buying it.
Ooh.
I've got everything inside.
Do you wanna put it together and take a look? - I'd love to see it.
- Yeah, bust it out.
Anytime you come, we know we're gonna be impressed.
Got some figures in here as well, so we can set up the whole scene.
Oh, yeah.
Set up these awesome trees.
The elevator.
Barbecue spit.
- What do Ewoks eat? - Humans.
Do you remember, they captured Han Solo, they said they were gonna eat him, they put him on that barbecue spit.
Yeah, I forgot about that.
You're absolutely right.
They were gonna eat him until C3PO was like, "You can't do this," and they thought he was a god.
They couldn't eat him, 'cause he was metal.
[laughter.]
Ewoks seem to be a demarcation line with a lot of oldschool "Star Wars" fans.
Like, we made jokes about it in "Clerks," about like, "All 'Jedi' had was a bunch of Muppets.
" I gotta be honest, I wanted to love "Star Wars: Return of the Jedi" so much I was like, "I think I like that.
" I had to keep convincing myself, "I liked it, I liked it, I like the Ewoks.
" You know, because I just was not willing to allow myself to think, even for a second, that I was disappointed.
Wow.
Give us the tour of the village.
In the bottom here, there's a net to trap any of the figurines.
This had a working elevator.
Crank this thing up.
If you cranked it too much, it'dit'd flip out.
[laughter.]
The spit actually works, it's like a rotisserie.
[laughter.]
A boulder to smash the, uh, enemies when they would come strolling on by.
[laughter.]
Sometimes it flies off.
Did we ever ask you why why Doctor continuously comes here to sell his toys? Every year I go out and I teach emergency medicine at a hospital in India.
So the idea is, you know, if I sell this, get a couple bucks and purchase some, um, emergency medicine review books.
You're saying if we purchase the Ewok Village, we'll be helping another country? Yes, practice and learn emergency medicine.
- That's heavy, man.
- Yeah, lives are on stake here.
Pssh, another day at the Stash.
[laughter.]
I think we can move this pretty quick.
The interest never wanes on "Star Wars" items.
- Yeah.
- All right, what do you need to get for it? So I think, uh, $225 would be fair.
Would you think less of me, Doc, if I were to negotiate on it? I mean Yeah, I mean, you've got a business to run, so I know how business works.
I mean What do you think, Ming? I I mean, I know you're going off to save lives.
Yeah.
I know that's where - the money's going towards, but - But I don't care! [laughter.]
I I do care.
I mean, wewe still we have to we have to sell this and make a profit.
So negotiate a little bit.
I can't wait for the doc to be handing out textbooks, and he's like, "Sorry, not you.
" [laughter.]
"Sorry, it's this guy's fault.
" - You show 'em my picture.
- No Would you take, like, $150? How 'bout $200? Uh [stammers.]
- Think of the children.
- You [laughter.]
You go to $160? Yeah, $160's good.
I can do that.
- All right, $160.
- All right, $160.
[register whirs.]
All right.
Thank you.
Thank you.
[marching music.]
Attention, 501st Legion.
Hey, fellas.
Uh, you only get, uh, ten cases of that Harley Quinn figure.
Ten? It's going to be big with that, uh, "Suicide Squad" movie.
[dramatic music.]
Hey, fellas.
[breathes deeply.]
Attention, 501st Legion.
[chuckling.]
How you doing? What can we do for you? Well, we're here for a membership recruitment drive for the 501st Legion.
The 501st Legion.
I've heard of these guys, man.
I can tell you right now, they probably don't have what it takes.
[laughter.]
The 501st, like, it's a really unique organization of people that all dress up like various Imperial dignitaries and whatnot, particularly Stormtroopers.
They actually put together, uh, fundraisers.
They go out in the real world and do things.
But they kept the love for the costume alive for a long, long time.
Cosplaying when cosplaying wasn't necessarily cool.
But the Stormtroopers are back in a big, bad way, thanks to J.
J.
and "The Force Awakens.
" He made them main characters again, and they look like the classic Stormtroopers - that we grew up with.
- Oh, yeah.
You guys look awesome.
I mean, you guys look like you just stepped off the set of a movie.
Straight from the Death Star.
You have quite the reputation, and givin' Stormtroopers a good name.
- Bad guys doing good.
- Bad guys doing good.
You know, we create the costumes ourselves, and we do charity events for hospitals and, uh, library visits.
How many, uh, functions do you guys attend a year? So far this year in queue we have 163 events.
- Just in Jersey.
- Requests.
Just in New Jersey.
Just in Jersey? Wow.
It's a worldwide group, and in the United States every state has its own chapter.
We've got, probably, 9,000 members active right now.
47 different countries across the world.
47 different countries And this is your guys' full time job? Do you guys do this all the time? No, no, this is all volunteer.
I'm a computer programmer and a volunteer firefighter.
I'm a police sergeant.
I'm a high school band director.
I'm a ticket seller at concert and sports venues.
If we join, I don't have to get a job, do I? [laughter.]
So what is it about "Star Wars" that makes all you guys love it so much? Just one of the first things I remember.
I was born in '75.
Movie came out in '77.
I wanted to be a Stormtrooper my whole life, since the first time I saw that white armor walk in.
I'm old enough now, my parents can't tell me no.
[laughter.]
How would one go about your basic Stormtrooper outfit? Easy.
If you're interested in joining, we can help you find, um, a kit, because it has to be screenaccurate in order to join officially.
If you make the costume and you're missing some of the details or some of the greeblies or hoses, we'll help you correct it.
We'll say this is the wrong color or this is the wrong type of switch, and we'll help you help you get it accurate.
Can you can you take me through all the details? Uh, you know, areare these official sto spec? This is 181st style TIE Fighter.
You've got bracers over here, gauntlets.
This is actually a shin pad.
You have an actual modified flight suit.
The pockets are all very specific.
The hoses are actually from various things.
This is a vacuum hose.
So, uh, what about the Stormtrooper costume? My Stormtrooper costume is, uh, fan sculpt.
It was sculpted with correct details, accurate to the movie, including using, uh, casts of the actual aerator part that is the mictip detail.
The button patterns, the way everything is is in here is made to look just like it was in the movies.
There's a little elastic strap in the back.
I mean, we're talking super, super detailed.
What's it madels it made, like, outout of Kevlar? Plastic.
It's all plastic? All plastic.
Won't stop blaster bolts.
Yeah.
[chuckling.]
Yeah, that's right.
They didn't stop the blaster bolts in the movies either, so, I mean [laughter.]
Yeah.
I got to be a Stormtrooper in "The Force Awakens.
" Now, I didn't get to be the guy in the suit, but J.
J.
had me do a voice for one of the Stormtroopers.
Gave me five different scenes to do, and he said, "I'll figure out which one you are later on when I'm putting the movie together.
" It's crazy, dude, and then at the end of the movie, there was my name in the blue font.
I almost wanted to go back in time and tell the young boy at age seven who first saw "Star Wars," like, "One day your name's gonna be in a 'Star Wars' movie," and that little boy would be like, "We're gonna direct 'Star Wars?'" I'd be like, "Oh, no, no, kid.
No, no, no, no, that's for better people.
" [laughter.]
So are you guys interested in joining? Isis there like anthere's, like, a physical exam or Nope.
No physical exam.
Any background checks? [chuckling.]
No.
No, all right.
It's that easy? [laughter.]
You know, I need a little bit of time to think it over, mull it over.
I guess you're kinda right.
I mean, is there any chance we get to try the costumes on first? You know, just to see how they feel Oh, well Ooh.
I don't know.
Before we joined.
I don't know.
We usually don't do that, but, uh, I think we can make a special exception in this case.
Do you wear anything underneath those costumes? Yes.
Okay, good.
[laughter.]
All right, then we can do this.
You gotta ask? Huh? Yeah.
All right, man, let's do it.
All right.
All right, let's go.
Let the battle begin.
[blaster bolts zooming.]
Ohh.
This is, like, huge.
When was the last time you saw one of these bad boys? Stormtroopers are being done to death, man.
If you were to dive into the world of "Star Wars" cosplay, - who would you want to be? - I'm gonna go simple.
I'm just gonna get a cloak and go as Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Smart, man.
Comfort, comfort.
Mm hmm.
Darth Maul.
Yeah, that seems like a lot of work, man.
The painting of the head, the shaving of the head, the horning of the head.
Oh, I just can't get a bald cap, - and some red powder? - It's so weird.
Like, I'm from movie world, and I know that's possible, but my first instinct was like, "It's gonna take a long time.
" [laughter.]
Zap, what about you, man? I'd need lifts for it, but I'd want to be Vader.
Great costume, but you're definitely gonna need the lifts.
Not if you stand next to Ming, though.
[laughing.]
Yeah.
Ah.
What about you, Ming? Who are you cosplaying as? I gotta go Mandalorian.
Boba Fett.
"He's no good to me dead.
" Baby Fett.
[laughter.]
I can't lose this baby Fett.
[laughter.]
So are you guys interested in joining? You know, I need a little bit of time to think it over, mull it over.
Is there any chance we get to try the costumes on first? We usually don't do that, but, uh, I think we can make a special exception in this case.
That's sacrilegious.
You don't ask someone in the 501st if you could put on their armor.
Well, maybe this was the 502nd then, 'cause they [laughter.]
because they let us do it rather easily.
[laughter.]
[dramatic music.]
You all set over here, Bry? Who said that? [laughter.]
All right, on the count of three, let the battle begin.
All right.
One two, three.
[blaster bolts zooming.]
Hey.
[blaster bolts zooming.]
I got you.
I got you, get down.
[blaster bolts zooming.]
Agh! Okay! Let go of my gun! Bastard.
[laughter and groaning.]
[laughter.]
[blaster bolts zooming.]
Do you guys give up yet? [laughter.]
Yeah, there you go.
I hit you.
Lay down! I'm not laying down, you lay down! I must've hit you about 15 times.
- You haven't gone down once.
- I hit you.
If you're not gonna play by the rules, then we're not gonna do it then.
What about you? I hit you 20 times! Lay down! [laughter.]
Wow.
[laughter.]
I want to see your face.
Take off that helmet.
Yeah.
[blaster fires.]
Did you do it right? I thought he was supposed to make him dig his own grave first.
[laughter.]
Thank you so much, man.
We got some new recruits here today or what? We convince you? Well, you know, we still need some time to think about it.
So can we get our costumes back? Ten more minutes.
[chuckling.]
[blaster bolts zooming.]
[upbeat music.]
All right, uh, that'll be $10, please.
All right, thank you.
Have a great day.
You too.
How you doing? Hey, guys, how you doing? Good.
Looking to move a "Empire Strikes Back" movie standee.
Oh, my God.
[laughing.]
Ohh.
Gaze upon cinematic perfection.
Does it still stand? Yes, it does.
You want to see? Oh, my God.
You're right back in the theater.
It's 1980.
This is the, uh, rerelease edition.
Ohh, okay.
What was different in the re release? Anything? Same thing.
They just wanted to keep making money.
Right.
"Return of the Jedi" was coming out.
Are you a big "Star Wars" fan? Oh, yeah, ever since I was little.
I mean, my dad took me to the, uh, movie theaters to see this.
I was, like, five or six.
- First movie I probably ever saw.
- Really? And my dad knew the theater owner.
That's how I got this.
I was just blown away.
I mean, this is, like, huge.
Of course I was a big "Star Wars" kid, and I mean a big "Star Wars" kid.
and also a big "Star Wars" kid.
So "Empire Strikes Back" was huge for us.
It was the first time that I got excited for, like, oh, something's coming that means something to me, and I'm already invested in it 'cause I've seen the movie, and there's gonna be more.
You know, now it's a sequel world, but back then, not so much.
Like, the notion of "Jaws 2" was even foreign at that time.
Where they're like, "You're gonna do it again?" [laughter.]
When you heard there was a "Star Wars" sequel, how excited were you? It couldn't be measured, how excited I was, and I don't think I've ever seen a sequel come out that surpassed the original.
From beginning to end, perfect movie.
The best "Star Wars" movie ever made.
Not only the best though.
I think the most quotable.
Throw out your favorite quotes.
Uh, "Do or do not, there is no try.
" "I'm ready to be trained, I'm not afraid.
" "You will be.
" "Size matters not.
Judge me by my size, do you?" Sounds like you they meant a little bit more to you, these quotes.
[chuckles.]
Well, it was in his wedding vows.
[laughter.]
So why are you selling it today? Well, my true passion now is antique cars.
I have a '69 Dodge Charger that I'm restoring.
They're not cheap to do right, so something like this would definitely help out a lot with the restoration.
All right, what are you looking to get for it? I'm looking to get $500.
What do you think, Mike? Well, I haven't seen many of these online, but the creases are kinda shot.
The edges are a little dogeared, and you gotta take that into consideration.
What about $200? Split the difference, $350? How about $225? $275.
When was the last time you saw one of these bad boys? $275? You're right, I haven't seen one of these in a while.
That's why, $275.
Done.
[register whirs.]
Thank you.
Thank you, guys.
- Have a great day.
- Pleasure.
Take care.
This is my "Episode 1" R2 D2 cooler.
I've never seen one of these.
[upbeat music.]
Hey, how you doing? Hey, how's it going, man? How are you? What do you got there? This is my "Episode 1" R2 D2 cooler.
Wh I've never seen one of these.
So wait a minute, what is this thing? This thing is actually a cooler.
Basically, it was, like, a display unit.
They used to fill it up with ice.
Oh, 'cause you can throw the sodas in there.
Yeah.
That's why it says "Brisk" on it.
These were, like, in every convenience store when they rereleased "The Phantom Menace" in 3D just a couple years ago.
Any fool could open up a cooler and grab a drink, but to get one out of R2D2 Yeah, not any fool can just stick their hand in ain a garbage can and pull out a soda.
[laughter.]
You get you get my point.
Is he your favorite droid, R2 D2? Uh, he's gotta be up there, if if not my favorite droid.
If I remember correctly in in "Force Awakens," R2D2 shut down because Master Luke went away.
- Yeah.
- Much like that time when I went on vacation and Mike tells me that you didn't do any work, you were in inconsolable.
Ththatthat wasn't really out of depression, though.
[laughter.]
C3PO or R2D2, who do people love more? - Oh, hands down, R2D2.
- Why though? C-3PO is tolerated at best.
[laughter.]
We all understand what he's saying, and we hate him for it.
[laughter.]
'Cause hecause he's whiny and bitchy and very effete.
"Goodness gracious me.
" Whereas R2D2 seems like the common man.
You seem like you could have a drink with a guy like R2D2.
But he could say so much with that "boopboobloo.
" Totally.
We can anthropomorphize those noises.
It wasn't just like, "Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep.
" It was like, "Booboobooooo.
" And you know you knew R2 was sad, and then you were sad.
Yes, you can empathize with this little piece of metal.
What was going on in your homes? [laughter.]
Do you think this is something that we should have in the Stash? What, if you fill it up with ice every day and sell soda to people? There you go.
It'd pay for itself.
The best part about it is all you have to do is flip the drain in the back.
Once the ice melts, it just drains right out.
So you just wheel it out back by the dumpster and watch it urinate.
[laughter.]
Isn't it a little undignified though for the droid who saved the galaxy on numerous occasions? Jabba the Hutt made him a uh, party droid bartender on the sail barge in "Return of the Jedi," so you'd just be playing it out.
[laughter.]
Yeah, and and I think he'she's the perfect shape for a beverage cooler, I think.
He's also good for a garbage can.
I mean, they even call him a garbage can.
And I wonder, have they marketed that? Is that where Lucasfilms draws the line? They're like, "We're not gonna let you make him a garbage can.
" But didn't I see, like, little children's, like, training potties for R2D2? - They did a potty of R2D2? - Wow.
I think they did.
That's where you'd definitely hear, "Booboobooooo.
" [laughter.]
So what are you looking to get for it today? Um, I was looking $200.
I've seen 'em go for about $300.
Have to sell a lot of soda to make your money back.
You got plenty of room for it.
How 'bout a hundred? $175? It's pretty good shape.
Is there any damage to this? No, if anything, it might be on the bottom feet, but besides that, man Mm, I don't No, II see a crack here.
Oh, a little bit.
Oh, good eye, Ming.
Uh, and there's a little wear here.
Okay, so at at second glance it's not as pristine as we thought, huh? Should we have Ming check its flow? Droid shower? [laughter.]
[shivering.]
[laughter.]
Oh, the Oh, I we gotta have it now, huh? How 'bout $150? I could do $150.
$150? $150, absolutely.
All right, deal.
- $150.
- Awesome.
- Thank you.
- Thank you again, sir.
All right.
Appreciate it.
- Have a great day.
- You guys stay out of trouble.
Thanks.
Now you gotta the worse chewbacca impression.
Let me hearing your R2D2 impression.
- This "Boodooopsss".
- Thiss'll be like a "Uhhgggguuhhaaaauuuiiiilll".
Sound's like a chewbacca.
And just like Wald Dysney, we gonna cryogenic freez our selfs until next week.
Coomic Book Men, I'm Kevin Smith.
-Bryan Johnson.
-Walt Flanagan.
-Mike Zapcic.
-Ming Chen.
If you strike me down, Is should become more powerfull that you can possible imagine.
Good night.
Sync and Corrections by: kDragon