Dawson's Creek s06e09 Episode Script

All right, cut on rehearsal.
- Here you go.
- Oh, you're a bloody lifesaver.
That's your fourth one today.
I'm thinking of staging an intervention.
Since a certain assistant convinced me to quit smoking I've turned into some cyborg-like eating machine.
I don't know, this isn't nicotine-jones Todd.
- This is more nervous Todd.
- Nervous Todd? One of the many faces of Todd.
There's drunk-and-belligerent Todd.
There's sober-and-belligerent Todd, There's creepy, horny Todd.
The rarest of them all is sweet Todd.
It's usually accompanied - by hidden-agenda Todd.
- Thanks for the abuse, mate.
- Truly, spot on.
- You know I find it depressing that you're thrown in a tizzy because a guy is shooting a cameo.
I remember an assistant getting hot and bothered simply transferring a call from a Mr.
Spielberg.
That was different.
Spielberg is a cinema god.
Max Winter is a lame movie star.
That lame movie star could do for this project what Janet Leigh did for Psycho, or Drew Barrymore did for Scream.
Do you have any idea what we went through to book him, Dawson? We're extremely lucky it worked out, mate.
Todd Carr, you freaking genius.
I finally get to work with you, and I get killed off in the first 15 minutes? Fear not, we'll bring you back in the sequel as a flesh-eating zombie.
Great, but we got to work around Spielberg.
Indeed.
Indeed.
- Hi.
I'm Max.
- Hi.
Dawson, Todd's assistant.
- You're going to work with Spielberg? - We worked out our schedules for this.
After we shoot, you got to show me where to have fun around here.
- What do you say, Dawson? - Sure.
- And as for my costar - The lovely Natasha.
Yes.
I will definitely need a word with her.
I always like to get to know whoever I'm working with.
Hey.
Hey.
- Did you just get here? - Yeah, 10 minutes ago.
- I didn't want to disturb you.
- You couldn't disturb me more than this stupid song.
Kill whoever put this on the jukebox.
That would be me.
Sorry.
It's just I'm trying to study, and it's my last final and it's for Hetson's class.
There's a lot of ground to cover and I want to do really well, you know, and it's this song- - So why don't you study at the library? - I tried.
It's packed.
There are people sitting on the floor in the bathroom.
- What about the dorm? - Too many parties.
Most people are done with finals.
When I left they were having a naked slippy-slide down the hall.
Well, you know, you could go to my place.
Well, well, well.
Sounds suspiciously like an attempt to get me into your bed, Mr.
Doling.
Well, you may get in my bed, if you please, Ms.
Potter but unfortunately for me, I'll be here.
I work till close.
You can study as long as you want.
Leave the keys under the mat when you go.
You are amazing.
- Well, you know.
- The best.
- Keys.
- Thank you.
The best.
Have fun.
Stupid male flatmate.
- Buggery wuggery wankery- - Emma.
There you are.
May I say that you are looking ravishing today? And yet I can't even see you because you're so transparent.
- What do you want, Pacey? - Very intuitive of you.
- I do actually need a small favour.
- But first I have a question for you as I sit here scrubbing up our collective filth.
- Shoot.
- Have you ever even heard - of a toilet brush? - Yes.
It's the little brush you're using to clean the toilet.
Okay.
All right, I deserved that.
That's fine.
That favour I was asking for, it's not a favour so much.
It's really- It's like a proposition, which, I think you'll agree with me - is a far more enticing word.
- Spare me the sales pitch and get on with it.
I have band practice in an hour.
Well, to outfit yourself for said proposition which you'll hear the dazzling details of, you'll need a new dress and I am willing to take you to a house of high fashion and buy you said new dress, which will become your favourite dress.
It will become your head-turning dress, and it will only be complete when it is filled out, by you, tomorrow night at my office party.
No.
Sitting in a fluorescent-lit office with a bunch of depressing uptight suits getting drunk, pretending to be merry until one gropes me in the copy room sounds like a load of something - but it's certainly not fun.
- It would actually be my guess they'll turn off the fluorescent lights and go with twinkly lights because they're cheery, and it's a holiday party.
- Right, and yet my answer is still no.
- Okay, fine.
- I'll pay you 25 bucks.
- So now I'm a prostitute? No, of course not.
I'll make you a deal.
I will clean this bathroom, and wash those dishes for two weeks.
- Six months.
- What? - One month.
- Two months or no deal.
Oh, yeah.
You're trying to play hardball.
Okay, fine.
Deal.
All right, well, I am going to go to band practice.
I'll be back later so you can buy me my new dress.
See you later.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna meet Max Winter.
I'm gonna act with Max Winter.
- He's got a lot of hair, that guy.
- I'm gonna kiss Max Winter.
Hi.
I'm Max.
I believe we're going to be working together.
I was wondering if you wanted to run some lines.
Cool.
- Oh, hello again.
- Hey, Max.
- Hey, if I'm interrupting you guys, I- - No, sit.
Run lines.
Great.
There's a killer on the loose in this city, baby.
- Streets aren't safe for a girl like you.
- I'm all woman, and nobody's baby.
Hey.
Would you mind leaving us alone? You see, when I'm rehearsing I feel really vulnerable.
Right, of course, I'll leave you guys alone.
Thanks.
- Dawson, right? - Right.
Thanks, Dawson.
What about this one? That looks like something my grandmother would wear.
It's slit halfway up the thigh.
What can I say? My gran's a sexy lady.
We've been here for over an hour.
Would you please just try on one? I don't see what's wrong with my regular clothes.
- They're held together by safety pins.
- I'm cultivating a look.
- It's called individuality.
Heard of it? - I'm buying you a free dress.
Stop complaining.
Ever heard of that? Now, just try these on.
Please.
Thank you.
I just- I don't see what the big deal is about some little office party.
There's actually a small confession I should make about this office party.
Because it's not like your typical office party.
It's more of a s- A what? - Damn.
- I know.
I look ridiculous.
- I feel ridiculous.
- No, no.
That's it.
- That's the dress.
- Are you sure? - It's $300.
- Okay, well, then $300 it is.
Because that's it.
You look amazing, Emma.
You've got to wear that tomorrow night.
Joey.
Joey.
Hi.
See, I told you you'd find a way for me to end up in your bed.
It was all part of my devilish plan.
Here.
- I knew it.
- I know it's early but I didn't want you to miss your test.
You know, I don't know your morning routine.
Maybe you need some time to adjust to consciousness and all that.
Very considerate, Mr.
Doling.
But I'm ready for it.
I swear, I know this stuff so well, I'm gonna set the curve.
I knew you could do it, tiger.
- What was that for? - For calling me "tiger.
" I kind of liked it.
Once you nailed the material, did you make good use of your private time in my humble abode? - What do you mean? - Looking for skeletons in closets deep dark secrets hidden away in drawers.
Now, what kind of a person would do that? - Oh, all people.
- All right.
The medicine cabinet.
We'll discuss the dandruff shampoo.
I almost tripped over your ice skates.
What's that about? - I play hockey.
- They were figure skates.
All right, so I may skate a little.
You know, I happen to possess a certain masculine grace.
Think I'm going to let you get away with that? Then I guess I'm gonna have to figure out a way to keep you quiet.
I have to tell you something.
There's a sentence every guy loves to hear at moments like these.
No, it's just, you know, Eddie You know, I'm- I'm- I'm not the kind of girl who sleeps with a guy after only one date.
Really? Because I usually sleep with girls after only one date, like, at least once a week.
No.
All I'm saying is that I have a certain pattern when it comes to sex.
Long, protracted, tension-filled waiting period you know, full of dramatic buildup - you know, possibly lasting years- - Joey.
I wasn't, you know, expecting anything here.
I don't mind taking it slow.
That's nice.
But it's not what I mean.
See I was sort of telling you about my pattern because when I woke up this morning, I reached my arm across the bed kind of wishing that you hadn't taken the floor last night.
And I was lying here just trying to think of one reason not to break my tradition with you, right here.
And I couldn't think of one.
You can say something quick right now before I die of embarrassment.
How's that? Is that okay? - That'll do.
- That'll do.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Would it be incredibly corny if I told you how beautiful you look right now? Yes, and entirely inappropriate since I plan on never calling you again.
Well, then at least let me make you some French toast as a way of saying goodbye and best wishes.
Well, that could be arranged but only if you help me study while we eat.
I think I could do that.
How much time you have? My exam's at 9:00, and it was barely sunrise when you woke me up - so it can't be much later, right? - Yeah.
Are you saying that a proper amount of time wasn't paid to a- Nothing like that.
Let me see.
- Are you sure? - You let me fall asleep? I didn't.
I mean, I did, you know, but we both - passed out and it was nice.
- " It was nice"? It was.
I'm more fond of spooning than the average guy.
I'm sorry, but I didn't know I had to be on Potter watch.
It's my fault for not saying, " Don't let me sleep through my monstrously important exam.
" It was a nice moment, but one we could've had later before my life is ruined.
How could I sleep here? What was I thinking? Okay, calm down.
I have one hour left in my three hour exam.
I'm 20 minutes away.
- You're telling me to calm down? - I'll have you there in 10 minutes.
- Come on.
- All right, all right, all right.
Joey.
Hey, Joey.
Joey.
It's half-hour.
You have 30 minutes to complete the exam.
Witter.
Allow me to introduce the lovely Candace my date for this evening's festivities.
- Pleasure to meet you.
- Likewise.
And where might your date be? She's on her way.
Oh, God.
Sorry.
Hi, Pacey.
I almost couldn't find you.
There's so many suits.
It's like looking for one individual cow in a whole field of them.
Hello.
I'm Emma.
Hi.
Rich Rinaldi, and this is Candace.
What a fabulous dress.
Love the safety pins.
Thank you.
Pacey bought it for me.
I did have to make a few modifications, of course.
- I hope he doesn't mind.
- No, not at all.
Could you two excuse us for just one second? Emma, may I have a word in private? Be right back.
What did you do to that dress? - You don't like it? - Like it? I spent $300 on it, and I might as well have bought you a box of rags.
Rags? Are you kidding me? Feel this fabric.
This is the good stuff.
The kitchen shears went through it like butter.
I don't know what to say to that.
I shall be by the punch bowl.
If you like twirling me about, come find me.
You want to talk all night or you want to dance? First things first, baby.
And cut.
Beautiful.
That was hot, guys.
Loved it.
They've got really good chemistry, didn't you think? - Sure.
- Yeah.
- That last take was killer, huh? - I was totally in the moment.
Me too.
So your boyfriend probably isn't too happy - about us kissing.
- I don't have a boyfriend.
What about that guy from your trailer? Aren't you two-? - Dawson? God, no, he's a PA.
- That's cool.
You want to work on the dance moves again? Sure.
Out and back.
- Dawson? - Yeah.
Could you get me a cup of coffee, mate? Sure.
Oh, goody, I was hoping it was you.
I'm sorry to bother you at home.
I went to your office and classroom.
I couldn't find you.
I need to talk.
I know, I was made aware of your situation through the 27 messages you left on my voicemail.
I studied for your test more than I've ever studied for anything in my life.
You know how far I've come in your class, it's just that- Well, I lost track of time and- Gazing into the abyss of your future again? - Look, let me have a re-test.
- No.
Look, I was up all night studying.
I fell asleep and then I woke up before sunrise, and I fell back asleep and I was disoriented.
I wasn't even in my own- Wasn't even in your own what? I wasn't even in my own room.
Look, it is your responsibility to get to the test on time.
Since you couldn't get past question number one, that's an F.
Which brings your grade for the semester to a nice, healthy D.
So you see, it's not so bad.
You still pass.
Night, Potter.
No matter how you feel about me personally you can't be this vindictive.
All right, now, see, that's where you're wrong.
This is not about vindictiveness.
This is about rationality.
I must apply the same set of standards to all my students or else I'm really not being fair.
It's nothing personal.
It's a tough break, kid.
I feel for you.
- I won't let you die.
- It's too late for me, baby.
Just promise me one thing.
Keep on dancing.
No! And cut! That was beautiful! Check the gates.
That's a wrap on Max.
Let's all congratulate Max on a job well done, yeah? And on schedule.
Hate to lose you, mate.
- You did a fabulous job.
- I know.
Right.
Hey.
So aren't you going to say anything about my performance? Yeah, you were- You were great.
You're always great.
You're a- - A real actress, Natasha.
- Yeah, I was just okay - but isn't Max amazing? - Yeah, he's really good.
So listen, I know we had plans to hang out tonight but Max asked me to have a drink.
Kind of a "goodbye nice working with you" sort of thing.
You can come if you want to.
Know what? I just remembered, Todd wanted to go over - the shot list for tomorrow.
- Okay but maybe I could come by later.
After I get back? - Yeah, sure.
- Great.
Bye.
You must try one of these piggety blankety thingies, they're amazing.
You obviously weren't raised on them like I was.
What? Didn't you specialize in haute cuisine or some such nonsense - before you became a raging sellout? - Your point being? You can just chomp those things down there, Pacey.
I'd lose the comic effect, and it'd be less charming.
Oh, I see.
This is your dating shtick, is it? How you nibble delicately on the petite corn.
This isn't working for you? - Very dainty.
- Now, admit it.
You are having fun.
I admit nothing.
I'm simply giddy on all the free food.
And your charming and chivalrous date, of course.
Don't get any ideas on me, Pacey.
Oh, I'm not.
I'm just saying.
Hey, Emma, right? That is a great dress.
- Thank you.
- It's just so stylish and unique.
What, with what you did with all the pins.
Oh, I see.
You're taking the piss, aren't you? - I'm sorry? - Taking the piss.
Having a laugh because you think my dress is stupid and you're a small-minded jerk who's no doubt small in other areas as well.
Do you want to go use the dance floor? She dances too.
Well, you're practically a member of Fagin's gang.
How delightfully condescending of you, Dick.
- Rich.
- I know.
Now, tell me when you woke up this morning and picked your outfit, did you think: " I want to look like a money-grubbing schmuck" - or is it a happy accident? - One of life's mysteries we won't solve.
- So shall we? - Shut your mouth.
Your special friend here is doing a splendid job ruining your image all by herself.
You know what? I'm going to go to the loo before I say something Pacey regrets.
Witter.
Thanks.
So I've been thinking, it's gonna be okay.
I mean, all you got to do is talk to Hetson, reason with him.
I'm sure- I'm sure he'll understand.
I tried, actually.
Surprisingly, he doesn't care.
That's it.
I'm gonna lose my scholarship.
- It's over.
- Well, let's not get melodramatic.
- Melodramatic? - I'm- I'm just saying relax.
I think you're having a little worst-case scenario freak-out here.
You're forgetting the bigger things.
What is bigger than getting kicked out of college? You've already escalated from losing your scholarship to getting kicked out of school.
You take all this way too seriously.
What I'm learning about you is you don't take anything seriously.
I just try to pay attention to the things that matter.
And what matters to you, Eddie? Because to me, Worthington is kind of a ride out of a previously lacking existence.
I don't know what your dreams are, so I don't know how to explain it.
It- Come to think of it, I don't really know anything about you at all.
I don't know.
You're usually pretty good at assuming things about me.
Everything I think, I strung together through flimsy assumptions.
Your powers of deduction are particularly strong.
You know what? Maybe I should have just stuck to my original pattern.
Yeah, because that was making you so happy.
Well, at least I knew what I was getting myself into.
Everything new I try just seems to backfire.
That's how people grow up, Jo.
- They learn from their mistakes.
- Yeah, well I guess what I'm learning is that avoiding Joey Potter's path less taken is probably the smarter way to go.
Look I'm sorry you missed your test but I don't want what happened last night to be a mistake to you.
But I guess it was.
I got this one in the bag.
I don't know.
I'm looking pretty hot tonight.
Hey, how about that punk freak? What is she even doing here? I don't know.
Did you get a load of her accent? It's totally fake.
I know, and I heard she was really rude to Rich.
Why shouldn't I be? He's a little wanker.
- Yeah, but don't you want to win? - Win what? You mean you don't know what this party's really about? - I'm sorry.
What are you talking about? - It's a contest.
The guy with the hottest date wins 1000 bucks.
Where's your sassy, pseudo-punk, Witter? - I was hoping for another round.
- Well, surprisingly she doesn't want to be here now.
And I can't say I really blame her.
Then why have you been wolfing down the empanadas all night? How you treated her was unnecessary.
Emma's not the girl who will play down to your outdated stereotype of the lesser sex.
In fact, she's probably the most eloquent and passionate person I've met in a long time.
She has far too much grace to lower herself to your playing field.
That was beautiful, Witter.
I'm sorry your poignant outburst was wasted on me.
It's not a problem.
I've wasted my evening playing this pathetic game.
If you consider this a waste of your time we could remedy that come Monday morning.
It's all well and good, this back and forth but what you seem to have forgotten or what you actually never learned is that I'm your boss.
You're not precious to me.
In fact, you're on thin ice.
You watch it when you open your mouth up to me, Witter.
I'm not your friend.
I'm the guy who's in charge of your future which is currently bleak.
So we'll- Then we'll do that bit where she's in the shower.
- And then we're done.
- Cool.
So speaking of, what are you two lovebirds up to tonight? Nothing.
Nothing.
She's- She's out - with Max.
- I see.
- So you're? - Sitting here thinking of ways I could kill him.
Productive.
I don't know what I'm doing, Todd.
This isn't like me.
I- She lied about our relationship, and I heard on the headphones.
I had a chance to confront her about it, and I didn't.
Now she's out with him, actually out with him right now.
I didn't say a word about it.
- What the hell am I doing? - You're doing what's smart.
Look, if you confront her on a little white lie the likelihood is she'll get mighty upset that you were eavesdropping and that's it for you and your shagging privileges for the rest of the shoot.
I say ignore it.
I say ignore it and just try and enjoy the rest of the time you have together.
Look, you may very well be the love of Natasha's life.
But sadly, you don't affect her next movie offer plain and simple.
So I say just forget about it.
No big thing.
That's your advice? Sweep it under the rug like nothing? Yes, that's my advice, you cheeky bugger.
- That's terrible advice.
- Yet good advice if you want to keep shagging Natasha.
I wish she didn't have this power over me.
Sometimes I look at her I forget my own name.
All I think about is- Sex? - Yeah.
- You see? And they know that.
And that's how they walk all over us.
Isn't it you who does the walking all over in these situations? Oh, I've been trod upon.
Believe you me.
Don't even get me started.
Yeah, I'm just going to be direct with her.
I'm not going to make myself crazy.
I've always been honest.
Yeah.
Let me know how that works out for you.
I can't think about this anymore.
Right.
Why think when we can drink? Barkeep, two shots of whiskey and bring Dawson whatever he wants.
You got it.
Can I take your order? I'll take a burger and a beer.
A Guinness, please.
And I'd like a pickle, also, please.
And a glass of water, if you don't mind, with ice.
- Can I ask you a question? - Sure.
How can you sit there and order from me and pretend like nothing happened? Why are you even here? Are you trying to torture me? Is that it? Oh, first of all, that was like four questions, but no matter.
The answer to your first question, how can I sit and order like nothing happened, is twofold.
A, from my perspective, not much really did happen.
And B, I'm hungry.
It didn't even occur to me it had anything to do with you.
Just my paltry life which has come crashing down all around me - thanks to you.
- Thanks to who now? Hey, wait, wait.
Joey.
You know what.
I changed my mind.
I don't want French fries.
I really feel like onion rings.
- Professor Hetson.
- Great, great, great.
Now, let me guess.
You're the knight in shining armour.
I'm the evil dragon in this little play we seem to be doing.
You have to give her another chance.
It wasn't her fault.
It was my fault.
- I made her late for the test.
- Look, Eddie if that even is your real name, I don't care.
I don't care how much she studied, how sorry she is.
I don't care how great the sex was.
You're wasting your breath.
Go get a kitten out of a tree or something.
What is your problem, man? I mean, can't you try to be human for once? Tell me, just where do you think this little relationship with you and Joey is going? I don't think that's your business.
Because, you know, I have an idea.
And believe me, it's not gonna be a pretty picture.
Ms.
Potter is- Well, her performance on today's exam notwithstanding.
- a gal who's going places, as they say.
Places that you will not be going, Eddie.
Places you can never hope to go.
Don't say it doesn't make you a little crazy knowing that she's got the life that you tried to fake for yourself.
I mean, who knows? Maybe you lured her to your apartment on purpose.
Trying to level the playing field, maybe? Not gonna work, though.
She'll still see right through you.
She'll still leave, and you'll still be trapped right here.
You know, it's a really good thing you look so cute in that little apron- Oh, my God.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What are you doing? Sitting here waiting for you.
Well I just got fired.
I'm sorry.
Well, Hetson agreed not to sue, so, you know, it's not so bad.
Eddie, look, I am so sorry about before- - Joey.
Joey- - It's just that- - I tend to- No.
- You don't have to.
I understand.
And I'm sorry I called you melodramatic.
Well I do tend to escalate things and you do tend to downplay them.
But somewhere in the middle, something about us still makes sense.
If I hadn't overslept and messed things up with Hetson I never would've seen this new side of you.
So the Potter path-less-travelled not so bad? A rocky start, maybe, but it's kind of nice here.
You got a great right hook there, slugger.
- What was that for? - For calling me slugger.
I kind of liked it.
Hey, I've got an idea.
Something we can do to take our minds off all this.
No.
Not that, dirty girl.
Something else to take our minds off all this.
Come on.
I'd love that.
Hey, man.
Hey, I'm glad you're here.
I missed you.
Yeah.
- You have fun? - It was kind of boring.
We had a drink, and I've been watching TV in my room ever since.
But I've been thinking about you all night.
Dawson, come on.
I'm standing in front of you asking to come in.
Are you honestly gonna send me out into the cold, cold night all by myself? - What happened to you? - I left.
I noticed that.
Without saying goodbye or letting me know.
If this is about Rich, you really shouldn't pay that guy any mind.
He's just a moron.
Emma.
Did I win, then? - What? - I said, did I win, then? - What are you talking about? - Yeah, probably not.
There were 20 girls there that were way hotter than me, right? - Somebody told you about the contest.
- Pretty sharp there, Pacey.
All I can say is that I'm sorry.
There's no noble speech I can give you.
I just screwed up royally, and I apologize.
I took the spineless, corporate route, and somewhere along the line I forgot that I had a choice.
- You always have a choice, Pacey.
- True enough.
Though in that office, it doesn't always feel like it.
So did I win, then? I don't understand why you would even take me there, Pacey.
You knew what that contest was about.
Were you trying to humiliate me or-? No.
God, no.
Emma, I took you to that thing because I thought you would win.
You were by far the most beautiful woman in that room and I'm not taking a piss or whatever you crazy English people say.
- You're not? - No, not at all.
Just to be there with you was 10 times the prize I would get from those soulless corporate freaks that I work with.
So I am- I'm sorry.
- Hey, guys.
- Hey, Jack.
Seen the remote? - Thanks.
- Yeah.
What's going on, Eddie? I'm starting to get a little freaked.
I can't believe your dad got us here like this.
This is so cool.
Oh, the Dolings have connections.
Irish mafia, I knew it.
- You want to know what else? - What else? You do possess a certain masculine grace.
Yes, I told you.
- Very nice.
- Yes.
Come here.
Come here.
Thank you for this.
For everything.
It's my pleasure, Joey Potter.
Come on.
- Skate backwards now.
- Backwards? - Yes.
No, that's forwards.
- That's my spin.
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