DC's Legends Of Tomorrow (2016) s06e09 Episode Script
This is Gus
1
Ah! There you are.
You good, ancestors? I don't want to think about what Nate and Zari were doing in there to make you fall off my wrist in the middle of the night.
Actually, after several rounds of me kicking your butt in "Mortal Kombat", you complained of your Totem being Being too tight on my gaming arm.
So I loosened it up a little.
Oh, thank goodness! That's why you spent the night underneath the couch.
Oh.
Before you go, B, I have an important message.
It's cool, G.
We can skip my morning horoscope.
Running late for another team meeting and misplacing my Totem? Couldn't be more obvious that Mercury's in retrograde.
According to the Temporal Chronometer, today is your birthday.
Whoa.
I'm a quarter century! Happy birthday! Okay! Thanks to Kayla's pod tracker, we have a new advantage in preventing displaced aliens from screwing with the timeline.
Gideon, can you please run a scan? Right away, Co-Captain Sharpe.
All right, well, I'm all in, 'cause mind-melding with that giant sandworm left me with a nasty migraine.
But I suped-up my pequeña amiga with a special surprise for the next space vermin.
No need for surprises, guys.
Uh, called it! Shows up late, wearing the clothes that he slept in, but still had time for breakfast, which means I am out of bathroom cleaning rotation for a month.
- Ugh.
- Hey.
Yeah, no surprises, just slowly losing all of our free will to Astra.
Oh, good.
'Cause who needs surprises when smoking a few bowls, watching your favorite sitcom on Bestflix with friends and fam will do? Mm, that sounds like a very romantic evening for you and Nate, but, oh, yeah, that's right.
We don't know which of our Totems he decided - to have his sleepover in.
- Pardon me, but the pod's projected path is Vancouver, British Columbia, 2023.
All right, everybody! Put on your, uh, toques and Canada Goose, because we are going to the third-largest metropolitan area in Canada! Ah! Oh, "Raincouver", babe, it was right there.
But it made sense! It's, like - It's okay.
- Accurate information.
Oh, Zari! You might just wanna call Nate.
Because even in the preventing business, we could still use all hands on deck.
Got it, girl.
Dad? Dad, is that you? Are you okay? Yeah.
Why wouldn't I be? I need to see you right now.
Where are you? Uh, hold on! I keep losing track of my stupid portal thingy.
I'll grab one.
Not how I thought my day would go, but it's all good.
The universe has bigger plans.
What's so special about today? It's a day that only comes around once a year.
Aw, cute affirmation.
Anyway, if these "baecations" between Nate and 1.
0 are gonna become the "ushe", we need to work out a schedule.
I did not sleep a wink this weekend because I was afraid he was just gonna sneak attack and pop out of the Totem.
Look, I want Nate back today of all days.
- Hey, Mick.
- Hey, Mick.
But we don't know what's going on in the Totem.
What if he's, you know, in flagrante delicto? Okay, this is what I'm saying.
Do you not care that he's doing God knows what on your wrist? Really? Come on, guys.
- Oh, see this is what - I di no! What? - Oh! Huh? - Yep.
Yeah.
- Did you - Uh-huh.
- Yeah, you did.
- Wow, hello, hi.
- How's she doing? - Rory! You should see her.
How long was I in that Totem? She's pregnant.
Uh, yeah, Rory, we time-jumped to 2023.
You opened a portal to Lita's future.
Lita, honey! It's so good to see you.
You look beautiful, congratulations! Thanks, Aunt Ava.
She's pregnant.
It's family reunion time! Yes, refereed by Auntie Ava.
Mick! You're gonna be a grandpappy! I can't believe you went and got yourself knocked up! Got myself knocked up? What do you call what you did with Mom in my high school gym supply closet? - Conceiving.
- Really? I haven't see you in over a year, you don't answer any of my calls, and that's all you have to say? What the hell are you talking about? You know what, here I thought the worst had happened, and that my baby would never get to meet their grandfather, but it turns out I was only half right, because you're totally fine.
And you're still the same Mick Rory.
A deadbeat.
Ah I am not a I am not a deadbeat! Come back here, young lady! Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
Maybe let's just try a little less shouting and a lot more listening so that we can figure out why you disappeared from your daughter's life, Mick.
I'm not shouting! - Okay, the pod should make landfall soon.
- Ish.
Wait.
You guys here for the "Bud Stuy" taping? - Here you go.
- What the what? I knew that was Imran Saeed in the back of that car! Wait, who is Imran Saeed, and what is "Bud Stuy"? Like you didn't already know it's my favorite sitcom created by the Saeed brothers! - Oh, right.
- Gratitude overload.
Faking a mission and pretending like you forgot today was my birthday so you could spring "Bud Stuy" tickets on me? Too good! Gang! Thank you for keeping it under wraps.
It is so hard to pull this stuff off.
Um, actually Yeah, it was all Zari's idea.
The pod tracker doesn't even work.
We love you so much.
Happy birthday.
Yeah, so you better get in there, birthday boy! Before I change my mind.
Come on! What have we done? Wait, Spooner! Not you, come on.
Okay, the pod's further out this way.
What is so special about this show? It doesn't look popular.
Well, that's because it only lasted two seasons.
In high school, Behrad used to stay up all night, get high, and watch reruns on Bestflix.
Within pop culture, "Bud Stuy" had more of a cult following.
Oh.
Sounds like a lame cult.
People with low ambition going nowhere in life.
- Ooh.
- Take it easy on B.
It wasn't like any of us were saving the world when we were in high school.
I mean, technically, I was becoming a global brand and building a Fortune 500 company.
But it's your birthday, so who's keeping track? Figured it was stressful enough having one global superstar in the fam-bam.
"Bud Stuy's" charm was that it wasn't trying to appeal to everyone.
But it meant a lot to me.
And wait till you see Imran Saeed.
My all-time favorite actor.
Oh.
Show's startin'.
Time to get hype! Whoo! Yeah! Pod should be entering our atmosphere any minute now.
Speak of the devil.
"Bud Stuy" was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Bro! Whoo! I got a DJ-ing gig.
It's tonight! Wait, aren't you supposed to be working a shift at your parents' bakery tonight? No, no, no.
My days of pimping jalebi to Hipsters in Bushwick are over.
I'm not missing out on spinning at little Joshy Steinberg's bar mitzvah.
Tonight he enters adulthood.
As well as the 36 chambers of the Wu-Tang Clan.
They're kids.
Just play something young and poppy and dumb, like Dragon Girl.
- Rude.
- Damn.
How are you gonna tell your parents you're skipping work? Oh, I'm gonna honestly explain that I'm pursuing my passion.
I have a dream.
It's up to me to follow it.
And then I'm gonna get smacked.
What do you think you're doing? Preventing.
Damn.
Sleeping gummies, reading gummies, naughty gummies.
You're really gonna get high? To tell your parents you're quitting the family business to pursue DJ-ing? Bismillah! Well, how else would I get through such a deep, meaningful conversation? Life's a trip! If you got the right accoutrement for the ride.
This sounds like a terrible This show is too niche.
We need something to make it a mass hit.
Finally, something interesting happens on this show.
This is not supposed to happen.
Uhh Okay, am I tripping, or did my personal stash get mixed up with the prop stash again? Go, go! That was a classic! And cut! So this "surprise" is really starting to give off an "improvised lie that backfired" vibe.
- Listen - It's cool! Little tropey, but, guess we're doing a sitcom mission.
Hey, little guy.
Yeah, yeah, you.
Yeah, the camera loves you.
Just come on over.
Come here, little guy.
You're ruining one of my favorite episodes.
Look, Kam.
I know we've had our creative disagreements, but crashing the taping with an animatronic alien? Right.
Hey, buddy.
Come here.
Wow.
Lookit, it's so cute.
It's okay, buddy.
It's okay.
There you go.
Well, this animatronic alien is adorable.
And the audience ate it up.
So if we're ever gonna be more than a cult show we need a gag that's a little less foreign.
Less foreign? It's a freakin' alien, man.
- I want broader appeal.
- You want less Muslim.
You don't know what religion the alien is.
Okay.
This thing is freaking me out.
The puppeteer is going really method, because this thing is way too lifelike.
Remember how we got here.
I was your first audience.
The one who encouraged you and drove you to all your stand-up gigs.
Have I ever steered you wrong before? Can we at least reshoot the ending? Hell, get some VFX money, make that crash look a little more convincing? We'll fix it in post.
Aw.
That thing's adorable.
See, Spooner? Uh, I think I'm gonna need a smaller gun.
Hey! What are you still doing here? Come on.
Oh! We're just Hi, buddy.
How's it going? Ow! You're no animatronic.
Okay, Mickey, I get that Lita's pregnancy's unexpected, you know? It feels like only yesterday that we were watching her grow up, but if I have learned anything co-captaining the team on this ship, it's that being a parent is really just about being cool when things aren't really that cool, yeah? Okay, where are we at with listening, Mick? Captain Sharpe.
You want another try at a sassy send-off attempt - for the record? - No! Ooh, why are we power walking? Oh, look, she's studying.
It's excellent, right? Hmm.
Hi, Lita, honey.
See, she's still in school.
That's great, right, Mick? Yeah, I have a big test coming up in my intersectionality and feminist activism class.
It's where I met Niko.
You got knocked up by some creep taking a class for women? Let's see what else you've missed.
I'm vegan.
I'm over my Sabbath phase.
I'm more into Fiona Apple.
And I'm donating all the money you left me in the shed to AOC's future presidential run.
Wow.
Is there anything else you wanna judge me for? You know what? Why don't you tell us how you and Niko plan to raise the baby? We're cohabitating.
The institution of marriage is too inherently patriarchal.
Oh, stupid swollen fingers.
- Here.
- No, I got it.
You know, uh, Gideon could have made you something.
Yeah, well, I don't have Gideon at school just to make my life easier.
And usually Niko helps me with this stuff.
Okay.
I am rational enough to accept defeat, hangry enough to accept your help.
You know, uh, some jars are like old, stubborn bastards.
They, uh, eventually open up.
Tell me about Niko.
Ugh.
Would it have killed Kamran to lock his office door so the baby alien didn't escape? I can't believe you cut my sexy Totem time short for this.
Oh, by the way.
She'd kill me if I forgot, she said, "Hey".
Hm.
That's sweet.
Hey, girl.
What does she do in the Totem, for, like, you know, self-care? Mostly be at peace.
School the ancestors in poker, but mainly she wanted to talk about B.
- Really? - Yeah.
She wanted to know his current hair length, is he dating, did he beat any of her high scores? And for whatever reason, she asked me to keep an eye on him tonight to make sure he didn't party too hard Oh! - I just got it.
- Of course, even though she's stuck in mystical limbo, she didn't forget his birthday.
There.
You happy? Yeah.
Maybe one with the both of us? I could snap it.
Long arms.
Behrad.
Let's go.
You know, by catching this alien, we're actually preventing capitalism from creating another monster.
Yeah.
A monster hit.
You sound like Zari.
Don't tell me you think the baby alien's cute too.
No, I don't think it's cute, but there is no accounting mass taste.
Look, no disrespect to the past six years, but this is the biggest mission ever.
I'm not gonna let this alien ruin my favorite show.
Don't be so dramatic.
All I'm saying is, your sister's got a point.
If it doesn't make money, it doesn't make sense.
You the new PA? - Yeah.
- Good.
'Cause all we have around here are those little coffee pods.
And we can't do that to Mother Earth.
Totally.
Appareat coffeum.
Well, don't be shy.
Get in there.
Maybe your hero knows where his brother hid that thing.
Astra Logue, Labor Relations.
Don't mind me.
I am just here to observe your labor.
What if the baby alien is in, like, alien WITSEC.
Hiding out on Earth from the Big Bad that destroyed his home planet.
Sounds like a season of backstory and mythology.
Just to pitch it, the baby alien was sent to Earth on a rumspringa, and is just trying to find the perfect party pad.
That's just what we need.
More aliens on the show.
I don't know if, uh, caffeine is so good for the process.
But I could get you something groovier to help get the creative juices flowing.
This guy knows what's up! Oh, uh, bro.
Labor Relations.
Mr.
Saeed, where did your brother stash the baby alien? You mean that stupid puppet? I don't know.
Then we're done here.
- Any luck? - Negative.
But I did get a peek behind the curtain in the writer's room.
Trust me, you do not wanna know how the sausage gets made.
Oh, good.
I think we found it.
Meet us by the stages.
Aw, hey, little guy.
Hey, I can promise you, alien hybrid to alien, bananas, they're overrated.
Everything bagels, this is where it's at.
Mm.
Yeah, you wanna try it? Come on.
Here you go.
Hey, I know.
Let's get outta here.
Hey, Astra.
I don't think he likes that.
Uh! Ah! There you are.
I'm going to talk to props about leaving things lying around.
Somebody could get hurt.
What? All right, rise and shine, everyone.
We need a new strategy.
Where is Behrad? Late.
Again.
Let's sweeten the pot on the earlier bet.
If he doesn't show in the next five minutes, loser becomes my personal fluff and fold.
Relax, relax.
I'm right here.
Is that my brother? That's my pomade.
I know the sheen anywhere.
Communal bathroom, thought it was up for grabs.
And I just felt like shaking things up.
I knew you had "leading man" hair in you.
All Tarazis have the gene.
Okay, let's just show Gary the Wow, it really is mesmerizing.
Thank you.
Ohh.
A Gusarax! Baby Gus-Gus! It's got a nice ring to it.
You're coining merchandisable nicknames now? Why was Imran's brother able to grab Gus without causing a Category 5 tantrum? Well, Gusaraxes are bonded to their parents during the, uh, developmental phase.
So if, uh, Gus-Gus is bonded to Imran's brother, you'll have to get him to bond with one of you, but, heh, good luck with that! They're attached to their parents at the hip because that is where the teat is.
Ugh.
Don't say "teat".
Captain Lance, I've detected that a new "Bud Stuy" draft has been submitted to the studio.
Episode titled, "First Contact High".
New cup? Hm, weird.
Wharton is the business school my maman and baba think I attend.
Hm.
"Wharton is the business school my maman and baba think I attend"? What's happening to me? I think the change in your favorite show is having an effect on you.
He's better groomed, better caffeinated.
I'd say Behrad got a free upgrade.
No, no, no, no.
This is not good.
The butterfly effect from one small change in the timeline is too unpredictable.
That's how we lost Zari 1.
0.
Okay, they're looking for the role of "nosy landlord".
He It's obviously me, I'm the trained actor.
I mean, it's gonna be a nosy, glamorous landlord, but Nate, come with, run lines? All right, let's get you ready for that closeup.
Okay, great.
Zari, once you book the part, you'll be in position to separate Gus-Gus from Imran's brother and bond with him.
Astra and B, make sure that this new script doesn't make it to air.
We have to ensure that Imran stays the star so that Behrad can stay himself.
What do you mean I'm not a right fit for the r You don't seem super great at your job.
The writers had a very specific vision in mind.
Someone who fits the new direction of the show.
- Oh, did they? - Hey, Z.
The sign by the complimentary mints said only take one, so, uh, keep this on the DL.
Nathaniel Heywood.
No need to lie about my height, I am 6 foot Uh, currently living? Here and there.
I travel a lot for work.
Is this for the CW? Well, so much for plan Z.
But Nate's getting his big break.
Finally, a win for straight, white men.
Well, if I was rebooting a show with a flop first season, you'd be my pick.
Who says stuff like that? I don't wanna become some materialistic jerk with a Roth IRA, driving a car that burns gas, and pounding Red Eyes! If this show is going off the rails, you need to talk to the person at the top of the food chain.
"Faiz, it's the nosy landlord.
Hide all the bongs.
And the baby alien".
As your boss, I gotta tell you, I'm good on the pharmaceuticals, bro.
At least until this makeup sets.
You can't sell out, man! Growing up, my mom and dad looked at me and saw a future business school graduate.
The world saw a weird, Muslim kid they couldn't bother to figure out.
But seeing you on TV, Imran, was the first time I saw me.
That's great.
But I gotta do what my brother tells me.
No, you don't.
Dude, I flipped burgers, spun signs, but the gig I have now, it's the sweetest gig ever.
Just had to let you know, I wouldn't have ended up here if I hadn't seen you on "Bud Stuy" so carefree.
It's like you gave me permission to leave home and go on the craziest adventure of my life.
Please, don't change your show.
It's perfect the way it is.
You must really love being a PA.
Like a lot.
Oh, come on.
Imran, the studio loves the baby alien in the new draft.
And you're gonna love the casting for the nosy landlord.
Kam, this isn't working out.
I promise, the new guy pops.
This show was supposed to be about the things that make us laugh.
My life.
I know, it's not for everyone.
But to the people who get it, it's life-changing.
You really not believe in that anymore? What about the people who pay us to make a hit? The studio's threatening to cancel us.
Yeah, well, I'd rather have one person laughing in the audience than be a complete sellout.
Don't do this.
I quit.
You okay? Oh, yeah.
I'm just trying to wrap Behrad's birthday gifts.
You know, the edges have to be perfect, or the whole presentation is thrown off, that's all.
I'm so sorry, honey.
Are you okay? Yeah.
I'm just looking for my dad.
I should head out soon.
So I take it you two buried the hatchet, then? Well, you know Mick.
He runs a little hot, but he cools down eventually.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
He was even asking all these questions about Niko, like, where he grew up, and his class schedule, and he's really interested in his cross-country training.
Even down to the hours and the routes.
Niko wants to compete in the Olympics.
Aw.
See, I knew he'd come around.
So, should we start planning a baby shower, then? Or a funeral! Look, take it from a trained assassin, you wanna murder somebody without a trace, you gather as much intel as possible.
Lita, your dad is gonna kill your boyfriend.
What do you mean, Mr.
Saeed's "booked for the day"? - Un-book him.
- And make it quick because she's the nice one.
- You don't want to upset me.
- It's true.
Good girl.
Where's Behrad? Relax, he's just pulling himself together after Imran quit.
The timeline hasn't changed that fast.
Hm.
For real, King's beat! I just let that money talk Take it to the end My parking needs validating.
I didn't know you had it in you.
Try to keep up.
I just let that money talk Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk Wow.
Who is Are you kidding me? The possibilities are endless Let me call you back.
'Scuse me, can I help you? You're gonna wanna try-com.
We're members of the puppeteers union.
Yeah.
We're gonna need to see proof that you're using union-certified puppeteers to operate the baby alien.
I mean, unless you have something to hide.
Okay, it's not a puppet.
I swear, I was just waiting to get publicity all lined up before I broke the news.
The world's first alien TV star is a gold mine.
And you're just willing to stab your brother in the back for success? Well, he does have a point.
Gus-Gus is a vertical integration vehicle.
I'm talking dolls, branding deals, you can build an entire universe out of this little guy.
The synergy's all there.
I like the way you think.
And we are leaving.
Thank you so much for your time.
Hey, what the hell was that? You wanna make something of your life? It takes a little ambition.
Speak.
Come on, Niko, pick up.
Oh, my God.
Lita, look.
Rory's strangling him! Wait, are they hugging? Huh! I really wanna thank you for looking after my daughter while I was Away.
Dad! I thought you were gonna kill him! - I was.
- Dad! No, no! It's okay.
We talked it out.
Mr.
Rory came around to seeing how bad it would look if the author of post-feminist empowerment lit killed his daughter's boyfriend.
Oh, really? I want my grandchild to have something I didn't.
Two loving parents.
You see? You never told me your dad was this cool.
He totally understands how we got caught up in the moment.
He said the same thing happened to him and Kayla.
You mean you and mom? Wait.
You and Kayla? Are you okay? Are you crying? - No! - It's It's okay, Mr.
Rory.
Let those toxic man-tears flow.
Rest in peace, Kayla.
Um, okay.
I'll see you later.
I'm just gonna make sure he gets home okay.
He's been acting really strange lately.
Yeah.
Real strange.
Your keys, sir.
Behrad, wait.
We're trying to get the timeline back on track, remember? Who's this tool? What? Hand over the keys.
Unless you wanna take a ride, babe.
If you call me babe one more time.
Okay, that's enough.
You need to come with us.
Come on.
That's a lawsuit, brah.
Sure you can afford that? Where is your Totem? Totem? It's a Rollie.
Nate.
What happened? Where'd it go? When he joined the team, he stole the Totem from home.
If he never did that, th You're coming with us! My girlfriend's in that Totem, you tool.
Who lives in this dump? It's kind of hard to explain, but I need you to chill while I go take care of something.
Chill? I don't chill.
I got money moves to make.
Money moves? Is that why you sabotaged the meeting with Kamran? You're not the only one who understands mass appeal.
Gus-Gus is going to be a global superstar.
I'm bringing "Bud Stuy" to a whole new audience.
Jealous? No.
Because the Behrad I know isn't some calculating business bro.
Yeah, well, maybe you don't know me at all.
Zari, what's going on? I'm sorry, Behrad.
You can't leave me in here, Zari! I'm not leaving you.
I'm fixing this.
It's gonna be all right.
Is it? At least when your Zari lost Behrad, it wasn't her fault.
Enough with the "your Zari" stuff.
- You're my Zari too.
- No, Nate.
Your Zari is gone, and without the Totem, so is everything she sacrificed her life for.
A decision I doubt she would have made if she knew she was being replaced by a version of her who Who didn't realize how a sitcom literally changed her brother's life.
Z, we all messed up, but we gotta get moving.
When this timeline catches up to Behrad, there's no telling who we're gonna be without him.
So, when were you gonna tell me about Kayla? Sounds like you really cared about her.
And do not leave out any details.
Like, uh, when you got caught up in the moment cover your ears, Lita were there any, uh tentacles involved? Whoa! You dated an alien? We didn't date.
We, uh, we almost died.
But then we, uh, then I Gross, Dad.
So there were tentacles involved? Yeah.
Lots.
It was mind-blowing.
You jealous? Now, get out of here! I wanna spend some more time with my daughter.
Kamran.
Ugh.
Now what? Listen, I know you worked your ass off for this moment.
And our hard work is rarely celebrated.
So I get how badly you wanna be seen, but you know this isn't right.
Have you ever seen the show? My brother wasn't exactly making television that we could be proud of.
Well, you know what, he doesn't have to be a torch-bearer for all of us.
That expectation is, honestly, unrealistic and, frankly, annoying.
Your brother inspired people, not by trying to inspire people, but just by being himself.
Well then too bad that he quit.
And-and that's how you wanna leave things? Don't let this be the fight that changes things between you, because once that happens, you could lose him forever.
Which diaper do you wanna go with for the baby alien? Picture's up! Two, I like the extra cushion.
Look, picture's up.
Like, right now.
There's nothing I can do.
Instead of lighting up in the dark, all alone, you need to get your ass in there and take back your show.
You know, you're really pushy for Labor Relations.
You can't make me go back! "Bud Stuy" was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Oh, no! It's the nosy landlord! I have to hide the bong and the baby alien! Sorry, buddy.
I didn't know it was inspection day! That's why it's called a surprise inspection.
That's why it's called a surprise inspection! I'm Nick Hunter.
Intergalactic alien law enforcer.
What the hell is the nosy landlord doing? No.
You're the nosy landlord.
It's called a plot twist, amateur.
Now where's Gus-Gus? Ah-ha! Oh.
Set this bad boy to stun.
Hey, hey! Ugh! And this.
Won't.
Hurt.
A.
Bit.
Ah! Caught you, you little finger-biter.
No, no, no, no! Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry! Just a little boo-boo.
There we go.
You beautiful alien baby.
Faiz, what did I tell you about having the right accoutrements? Take a couple of these for the road, nosy landlord.
Have a nice trip, Gus-Gus.
I'm just glad things are back to normal around here.
It looks like the audience hated it.
But that's why I believed in you in the first place.
You guys! Shh.
Happy birthday.
Thanks! My first time using a cell phone was the day Behrad was born.
I was trying to take a selfie, but my annoying baby brother photo-bombed.
Every Eid, he wanted to be in the kitchen.
And he wasn't just sneaking Maman's fesenjoon.
He was learning.
No wonder he cooks the best team dinners.
He's on his own weird and special wavelength.
I love him just the way he is.
He is priceless.
And somehow I forget that someone really amazing gave up everything for him to be here.
For me, Behrad's birthday became a reminder of everything he missed out on.
It makes me happy to see he's had a chance to really live.
Well, you know, we're throwing a party for him right now and you should really get going before all the cake is gone.
I know how you love cake.
What about the timeline? Well, I heard that finding loopholes is kind of your thing, so I had a chat with the ancestors.
Turns out, two air Totems have never existed at the same time before.
They think if only one of us is out at a time, Behrad should be safe.
I say we try it out for a few weeks.
What are you waiting for? Behrad's probably looking for someone to take shrooms with as we speak.
Oh, you know how to imitate Maman's disapproving death stare, right? Yeah.
Yeah.
Good.
Thank you.
- Look at this guy.
- Aww.
I heard you committed grand theft auto.
Yeah.
Did all that for little old me? I did it for everyone.
We couldn't breathe around the douchier you.
Too much cologne.
Is that sandalwood and frankincense? I like sandalwood and frankincense.
All right.
My little brother is all grown up.
Oh! Happy birthday.
No.
So Avalance is engaged, congrats.
Sara has a new set of healing powers, sweet.
Gary's been an alien this whole time.
Not at all surprising.
Lita's expecting.
Oh, and a baby alien imprinted on my boyfriend.
Cool, cool, cool.
Hm, well, guess I can count on you to never change, Mick.
Cheers.
Whoa.
The hell are you doing? When you and Kayla got caught up in the moment, her tentacle entered your ear canal, and she laid eggs in your head, and now you're growing a brood Pouch.
So you're saying my dad is pregnant? Yep.
Gideon? Sorry, I can't help it.
This is the laugh I was programmed with.
Wow.
That I did not see coming.
Greg, move your head.
You good, ancestors? I don't want to think about what Nate and Zari were doing in there to make you fall off my wrist in the middle of the night.
Actually, after several rounds of me kicking your butt in "Mortal Kombat", you complained of your Totem being Being too tight on my gaming arm.
So I loosened it up a little.
Oh, thank goodness! That's why you spent the night underneath the couch.
Oh.
Before you go, B, I have an important message.
It's cool, G.
We can skip my morning horoscope.
Running late for another team meeting and misplacing my Totem? Couldn't be more obvious that Mercury's in retrograde.
According to the Temporal Chronometer, today is your birthday.
Whoa.
I'm a quarter century! Happy birthday! Okay! Thanks to Kayla's pod tracker, we have a new advantage in preventing displaced aliens from screwing with the timeline.
Gideon, can you please run a scan? Right away, Co-Captain Sharpe.
All right, well, I'm all in, 'cause mind-melding with that giant sandworm left me with a nasty migraine.
But I suped-up my pequeña amiga with a special surprise for the next space vermin.
No need for surprises, guys.
Uh, called it! Shows up late, wearing the clothes that he slept in, but still had time for breakfast, which means I am out of bathroom cleaning rotation for a month.
- Ugh.
- Hey.
Yeah, no surprises, just slowly losing all of our free will to Astra.
Oh, good.
'Cause who needs surprises when smoking a few bowls, watching your favorite sitcom on Bestflix with friends and fam will do? Mm, that sounds like a very romantic evening for you and Nate, but, oh, yeah, that's right.
We don't know which of our Totems he decided - to have his sleepover in.
- Pardon me, but the pod's projected path is Vancouver, British Columbia, 2023.
All right, everybody! Put on your, uh, toques and Canada Goose, because we are going to the third-largest metropolitan area in Canada! Ah! Oh, "Raincouver", babe, it was right there.
But it made sense! It's, like - It's okay.
- Accurate information.
Oh, Zari! You might just wanna call Nate.
Because even in the preventing business, we could still use all hands on deck.
Got it, girl.
Dad? Dad, is that you? Are you okay? Yeah.
Why wouldn't I be? I need to see you right now.
Where are you? Uh, hold on! I keep losing track of my stupid portal thingy.
I'll grab one.
Not how I thought my day would go, but it's all good.
The universe has bigger plans.
What's so special about today? It's a day that only comes around once a year.
Aw, cute affirmation.
Anyway, if these "baecations" between Nate and 1.
0 are gonna become the "ushe", we need to work out a schedule.
I did not sleep a wink this weekend because I was afraid he was just gonna sneak attack and pop out of the Totem.
Look, I want Nate back today of all days.
- Hey, Mick.
- Hey, Mick.
But we don't know what's going on in the Totem.
What if he's, you know, in flagrante delicto? Okay, this is what I'm saying.
Do you not care that he's doing God knows what on your wrist? Really? Come on, guys.
- Oh, see this is what - I di no! What? - Oh! Huh? - Yep.
Yeah.
- Did you - Uh-huh.
- Yeah, you did.
- Wow, hello, hi.
- How's she doing? - Rory! You should see her.
How long was I in that Totem? She's pregnant.
Uh, yeah, Rory, we time-jumped to 2023.
You opened a portal to Lita's future.
Lita, honey! It's so good to see you.
You look beautiful, congratulations! Thanks, Aunt Ava.
She's pregnant.
It's family reunion time! Yes, refereed by Auntie Ava.
Mick! You're gonna be a grandpappy! I can't believe you went and got yourself knocked up! Got myself knocked up? What do you call what you did with Mom in my high school gym supply closet? - Conceiving.
- Really? I haven't see you in over a year, you don't answer any of my calls, and that's all you have to say? What the hell are you talking about? You know what, here I thought the worst had happened, and that my baby would never get to meet their grandfather, but it turns out I was only half right, because you're totally fine.
And you're still the same Mick Rory.
A deadbeat.
Ah I am not a I am not a deadbeat! Come back here, young lady! Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
Maybe let's just try a little less shouting and a lot more listening so that we can figure out why you disappeared from your daughter's life, Mick.
I'm not shouting! - Okay, the pod should make landfall soon.
- Ish.
Wait.
You guys here for the "Bud Stuy" taping? - Here you go.
- What the what? I knew that was Imran Saeed in the back of that car! Wait, who is Imran Saeed, and what is "Bud Stuy"? Like you didn't already know it's my favorite sitcom created by the Saeed brothers! - Oh, right.
- Gratitude overload.
Faking a mission and pretending like you forgot today was my birthday so you could spring "Bud Stuy" tickets on me? Too good! Gang! Thank you for keeping it under wraps.
It is so hard to pull this stuff off.
Um, actually Yeah, it was all Zari's idea.
The pod tracker doesn't even work.
We love you so much.
Happy birthday.
Yeah, so you better get in there, birthday boy! Before I change my mind.
Come on! What have we done? Wait, Spooner! Not you, come on.
Okay, the pod's further out this way.
What is so special about this show? It doesn't look popular.
Well, that's because it only lasted two seasons.
In high school, Behrad used to stay up all night, get high, and watch reruns on Bestflix.
Within pop culture, "Bud Stuy" had more of a cult following.
Oh.
Sounds like a lame cult.
People with low ambition going nowhere in life.
- Ooh.
- Take it easy on B.
It wasn't like any of us were saving the world when we were in high school.
I mean, technically, I was becoming a global brand and building a Fortune 500 company.
But it's your birthday, so who's keeping track? Figured it was stressful enough having one global superstar in the fam-bam.
"Bud Stuy's" charm was that it wasn't trying to appeal to everyone.
But it meant a lot to me.
And wait till you see Imran Saeed.
My all-time favorite actor.
Oh.
Show's startin'.
Time to get hype! Whoo! Yeah! Pod should be entering our atmosphere any minute now.
Speak of the devil.
"Bud Stuy" was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Bro! Whoo! I got a DJ-ing gig.
It's tonight! Wait, aren't you supposed to be working a shift at your parents' bakery tonight? No, no, no.
My days of pimping jalebi to Hipsters in Bushwick are over.
I'm not missing out on spinning at little Joshy Steinberg's bar mitzvah.
Tonight he enters adulthood.
As well as the 36 chambers of the Wu-Tang Clan.
They're kids.
Just play something young and poppy and dumb, like Dragon Girl.
- Rude.
- Damn.
How are you gonna tell your parents you're skipping work? Oh, I'm gonna honestly explain that I'm pursuing my passion.
I have a dream.
It's up to me to follow it.
And then I'm gonna get smacked.
What do you think you're doing? Preventing.
Damn.
Sleeping gummies, reading gummies, naughty gummies.
You're really gonna get high? To tell your parents you're quitting the family business to pursue DJ-ing? Bismillah! Well, how else would I get through such a deep, meaningful conversation? Life's a trip! If you got the right accoutrement for the ride.
This sounds like a terrible This show is too niche.
We need something to make it a mass hit.
Finally, something interesting happens on this show.
This is not supposed to happen.
Uhh Okay, am I tripping, or did my personal stash get mixed up with the prop stash again? Go, go! That was a classic! And cut! So this "surprise" is really starting to give off an "improvised lie that backfired" vibe.
- Listen - It's cool! Little tropey, but, guess we're doing a sitcom mission.
Hey, little guy.
Yeah, yeah, you.
Yeah, the camera loves you.
Just come on over.
Come here, little guy.
You're ruining one of my favorite episodes.
Look, Kam.
I know we've had our creative disagreements, but crashing the taping with an animatronic alien? Right.
Hey, buddy.
Come here.
Wow.
Lookit, it's so cute.
It's okay, buddy.
It's okay.
There you go.
Well, this animatronic alien is adorable.
And the audience ate it up.
So if we're ever gonna be more than a cult show we need a gag that's a little less foreign.
Less foreign? It's a freakin' alien, man.
- I want broader appeal.
- You want less Muslim.
You don't know what religion the alien is.
Okay.
This thing is freaking me out.
The puppeteer is going really method, because this thing is way too lifelike.
Remember how we got here.
I was your first audience.
The one who encouraged you and drove you to all your stand-up gigs.
Have I ever steered you wrong before? Can we at least reshoot the ending? Hell, get some VFX money, make that crash look a little more convincing? We'll fix it in post.
Aw.
That thing's adorable.
See, Spooner? Uh, I think I'm gonna need a smaller gun.
Hey! What are you still doing here? Come on.
Oh! We're just Hi, buddy.
How's it going? Ow! You're no animatronic.
Okay, Mickey, I get that Lita's pregnancy's unexpected, you know? It feels like only yesterday that we were watching her grow up, but if I have learned anything co-captaining the team on this ship, it's that being a parent is really just about being cool when things aren't really that cool, yeah? Okay, where are we at with listening, Mick? Captain Sharpe.
You want another try at a sassy send-off attempt - for the record? - No! Ooh, why are we power walking? Oh, look, she's studying.
It's excellent, right? Hmm.
Hi, Lita, honey.
See, she's still in school.
That's great, right, Mick? Yeah, I have a big test coming up in my intersectionality and feminist activism class.
It's where I met Niko.
You got knocked up by some creep taking a class for women? Let's see what else you've missed.
I'm vegan.
I'm over my Sabbath phase.
I'm more into Fiona Apple.
And I'm donating all the money you left me in the shed to AOC's future presidential run.
Wow.
Is there anything else you wanna judge me for? You know what? Why don't you tell us how you and Niko plan to raise the baby? We're cohabitating.
The institution of marriage is too inherently patriarchal.
Oh, stupid swollen fingers.
- Here.
- No, I got it.
You know, uh, Gideon could have made you something.
Yeah, well, I don't have Gideon at school just to make my life easier.
And usually Niko helps me with this stuff.
Okay.
I am rational enough to accept defeat, hangry enough to accept your help.
You know, uh, some jars are like old, stubborn bastards.
They, uh, eventually open up.
Tell me about Niko.
Ugh.
Would it have killed Kamran to lock his office door so the baby alien didn't escape? I can't believe you cut my sexy Totem time short for this.
Oh, by the way.
She'd kill me if I forgot, she said, "Hey".
Hm.
That's sweet.
Hey, girl.
What does she do in the Totem, for, like, you know, self-care? Mostly be at peace.
School the ancestors in poker, but mainly she wanted to talk about B.
- Really? - Yeah.
She wanted to know his current hair length, is he dating, did he beat any of her high scores? And for whatever reason, she asked me to keep an eye on him tonight to make sure he didn't party too hard Oh! - I just got it.
- Of course, even though she's stuck in mystical limbo, she didn't forget his birthday.
There.
You happy? Yeah.
Maybe one with the both of us? I could snap it.
Long arms.
Behrad.
Let's go.
You know, by catching this alien, we're actually preventing capitalism from creating another monster.
Yeah.
A monster hit.
You sound like Zari.
Don't tell me you think the baby alien's cute too.
No, I don't think it's cute, but there is no accounting mass taste.
Look, no disrespect to the past six years, but this is the biggest mission ever.
I'm not gonna let this alien ruin my favorite show.
Don't be so dramatic.
All I'm saying is, your sister's got a point.
If it doesn't make money, it doesn't make sense.
You the new PA? - Yeah.
- Good.
'Cause all we have around here are those little coffee pods.
And we can't do that to Mother Earth.
Totally.
Appareat coffeum.
Well, don't be shy.
Get in there.
Maybe your hero knows where his brother hid that thing.
Astra Logue, Labor Relations.
Don't mind me.
I am just here to observe your labor.
What if the baby alien is in, like, alien WITSEC.
Hiding out on Earth from the Big Bad that destroyed his home planet.
Sounds like a season of backstory and mythology.
Just to pitch it, the baby alien was sent to Earth on a rumspringa, and is just trying to find the perfect party pad.
That's just what we need.
More aliens on the show.
I don't know if, uh, caffeine is so good for the process.
But I could get you something groovier to help get the creative juices flowing.
This guy knows what's up! Oh, uh, bro.
Labor Relations.
Mr.
Saeed, where did your brother stash the baby alien? You mean that stupid puppet? I don't know.
Then we're done here.
- Any luck? - Negative.
But I did get a peek behind the curtain in the writer's room.
Trust me, you do not wanna know how the sausage gets made.
Oh, good.
I think we found it.
Meet us by the stages.
Aw, hey, little guy.
Hey, I can promise you, alien hybrid to alien, bananas, they're overrated.
Everything bagels, this is where it's at.
Mm.
Yeah, you wanna try it? Come on.
Here you go.
Hey, I know.
Let's get outta here.
Hey, Astra.
I don't think he likes that.
Uh! Ah! There you are.
I'm going to talk to props about leaving things lying around.
Somebody could get hurt.
What? All right, rise and shine, everyone.
We need a new strategy.
Where is Behrad? Late.
Again.
Let's sweeten the pot on the earlier bet.
If he doesn't show in the next five minutes, loser becomes my personal fluff and fold.
Relax, relax.
I'm right here.
Is that my brother? That's my pomade.
I know the sheen anywhere.
Communal bathroom, thought it was up for grabs.
And I just felt like shaking things up.
I knew you had "leading man" hair in you.
All Tarazis have the gene.
Okay, let's just show Gary the Wow, it really is mesmerizing.
Thank you.
Ohh.
A Gusarax! Baby Gus-Gus! It's got a nice ring to it.
You're coining merchandisable nicknames now? Why was Imran's brother able to grab Gus without causing a Category 5 tantrum? Well, Gusaraxes are bonded to their parents during the, uh, developmental phase.
So if, uh, Gus-Gus is bonded to Imran's brother, you'll have to get him to bond with one of you, but, heh, good luck with that! They're attached to their parents at the hip because that is where the teat is.
Ugh.
Don't say "teat".
Captain Lance, I've detected that a new "Bud Stuy" draft has been submitted to the studio.
Episode titled, "First Contact High".
New cup? Hm, weird.
Wharton is the business school my maman and baba think I attend.
Hm.
"Wharton is the business school my maman and baba think I attend"? What's happening to me? I think the change in your favorite show is having an effect on you.
He's better groomed, better caffeinated.
I'd say Behrad got a free upgrade.
No, no, no, no.
This is not good.
The butterfly effect from one small change in the timeline is too unpredictable.
That's how we lost Zari 1.
0.
Okay, they're looking for the role of "nosy landlord".
He It's obviously me, I'm the trained actor.
I mean, it's gonna be a nosy, glamorous landlord, but Nate, come with, run lines? All right, let's get you ready for that closeup.
Okay, great.
Zari, once you book the part, you'll be in position to separate Gus-Gus from Imran's brother and bond with him.
Astra and B, make sure that this new script doesn't make it to air.
We have to ensure that Imran stays the star so that Behrad can stay himself.
What do you mean I'm not a right fit for the r You don't seem super great at your job.
The writers had a very specific vision in mind.
Someone who fits the new direction of the show.
- Oh, did they? - Hey, Z.
The sign by the complimentary mints said only take one, so, uh, keep this on the DL.
Nathaniel Heywood.
No need to lie about my height, I am 6 foot Uh, currently living? Here and there.
I travel a lot for work.
Is this for the CW? Well, so much for plan Z.
But Nate's getting his big break.
Finally, a win for straight, white men.
Well, if I was rebooting a show with a flop first season, you'd be my pick.
Who says stuff like that? I don't wanna become some materialistic jerk with a Roth IRA, driving a car that burns gas, and pounding Red Eyes! If this show is going off the rails, you need to talk to the person at the top of the food chain.
"Faiz, it's the nosy landlord.
Hide all the bongs.
And the baby alien".
As your boss, I gotta tell you, I'm good on the pharmaceuticals, bro.
At least until this makeup sets.
You can't sell out, man! Growing up, my mom and dad looked at me and saw a future business school graduate.
The world saw a weird, Muslim kid they couldn't bother to figure out.
But seeing you on TV, Imran, was the first time I saw me.
That's great.
But I gotta do what my brother tells me.
No, you don't.
Dude, I flipped burgers, spun signs, but the gig I have now, it's the sweetest gig ever.
Just had to let you know, I wouldn't have ended up here if I hadn't seen you on "Bud Stuy" so carefree.
It's like you gave me permission to leave home and go on the craziest adventure of my life.
Please, don't change your show.
It's perfect the way it is.
You must really love being a PA.
Like a lot.
Oh, come on.
Imran, the studio loves the baby alien in the new draft.
And you're gonna love the casting for the nosy landlord.
Kam, this isn't working out.
I promise, the new guy pops.
This show was supposed to be about the things that make us laugh.
My life.
I know, it's not for everyone.
But to the people who get it, it's life-changing.
You really not believe in that anymore? What about the people who pay us to make a hit? The studio's threatening to cancel us.
Yeah, well, I'd rather have one person laughing in the audience than be a complete sellout.
Don't do this.
I quit.
You okay? Oh, yeah.
I'm just trying to wrap Behrad's birthday gifts.
You know, the edges have to be perfect, or the whole presentation is thrown off, that's all.
I'm so sorry, honey.
Are you okay? Yeah.
I'm just looking for my dad.
I should head out soon.
So I take it you two buried the hatchet, then? Well, you know Mick.
He runs a little hot, but he cools down eventually.
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
He was even asking all these questions about Niko, like, where he grew up, and his class schedule, and he's really interested in his cross-country training.
Even down to the hours and the routes.
Niko wants to compete in the Olympics.
Aw.
See, I knew he'd come around.
So, should we start planning a baby shower, then? Or a funeral! Look, take it from a trained assassin, you wanna murder somebody without a trace, you gather as much intel as possible.
Lita, your dad is gonna kill your boyfriend.
What do you mean, Mr.
Saeed's "booked for the day"? - Un-book him.
- And make it quick because she's the nice one.
- You don't want to upset me.
- It's true.
Good girl.
Where's Behrad? Relax, he's just pulling himself together after Imran quit.
The timeline hasn't changed that fast.
Hm.
For real, King's beat! I just let that money talk Take it to the end My parking needs validating.
I didn't know you had it in you.
Try to keep up.
I just let that money talk Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk Wow.
Who is Are you kidding me? The possibilities are endless Let me call you back.
'Scuse me, can I help you? You're gonna wanna try-com.
We're members of the puppeteers union.
Yeah.
We're gonna need to see proof that you're using union-certified puppeteers to operate the baby alien.
I mean, unless you have something to hide.
Okay, it's not a puppet.
I swear, I was just waiting to get publicity all lined up before I broke the news.
The world's first alien TV star is a gold mine.
And you're just willing to stab your brother in the back for success? Well, he does have a point.
Gus-Gus is a vertical integration vehicle.
I'm talking dolls, branding deals, you can build an entire universe out of this little guy.
The synergy's all there.
I like the way you think.
And we are leaving.
Thank you so much for your time.
Hey, what the hell was that? You wanna make something of your life? It takes a little ambition.
Speak.
Come on, Niko, pick up.
Oh, my God.
Lita, look.
Rory's strangling him! Wait, are they hugging? Huh! I really wanna thank you for looking after my daughter while I was Away.
Dad! I thought you were gonna kill him! - I was.
- Dad! No, no! It's okay.
We talked it out.
Mr.
Rory came around to seeing how bad it would look if the author of post-feminist empowerment lit killed his daughter's boyfriend.
Oh, really? I want my grandchild to have something I didn't.
Two loving parents.
You see? You never told me your dad was this cool.
He totally understands how we got caught up in the moment.
He said the same thing happened to him and Kayla.
You mean you and mom? Wait.
You and Kayla? Are you okay? Are you crying? - No! - It's It's okay, Mr.
Rory.
Let those toxic man-tears flow.
Rest in peace, Kayla.
Um, okay.
I'll see you later.
I'm just gonna make sure he gets home okay.
He's been acting really strange lately.
Yeah.
Real strange.
Your keys, sir.
Behrad, wait.
We're trying to get the timeline back on track, remember? Who's this tool? What? Hand over the keys.
Unless you wanna take a ride, babe.
If you call me babe one more time.
Okay, that's enough.
You need to come with us.
Come on.
That's a lawsuit, brah.
Sure you can afford that? Where is your Totem? Totem? It's a Rollie.
Nate.
What happened? Where'd it go? When he joined the team, he stole the Totem from home.
If he never did that, th You're coming with us! My girlfriend's in that Totem, you tool.
Who lives in this dump? It's kind of hard to explain, but I need you to chill while I go take care of something.
Chill? I don't chill.
I got money moves to make.
Money moves? Is that why you sabotaged the meeting with Kamran? You're not the only one who understands mass appeal.
Gus-Gus is going to be a global superstar.
I'm bringing "Bud Stuy" to a whole new audience.
Jealous? No.
Because the Behrad I know isn't some calculating business bro.
Yeah, well, maybe you don't know me at all.
Zari, what's going on? I'm sorry, Behrad.
You can't leave me in here, Zari! I'm not leaving you.
I'm fixing this.
It's gonna be all right.
Is it? At least when your Zari lost Behrad, it wasn't her fault.
Enough with the "your Zari" stuff.
- You're my Zari too.
- No, Nate.
Your Zari is gone, and without the Totem, so is everything she sacrificed her life for.
A decision I doubt she would have made if she knew she was being replaced by a version of her who Who didn't realize how a sitcom literally changed her brother's life.
Z, we all messed up, but we gotta get moving.
When this timeline catches up to Behrad, there's no telling who we're gonna be without him.
So, when were you gonna tell me about Kayla? Sounds like you really cared about her.
And do not leave out any details.
Like, uh, when you got caught up in the moment cover your ears, Lita were there any, uh tentacles involved? Whoa! You dated an alien? We didn't date.
We, uh, we almost died.
But then we, uh, then I Gross, Dad.
So there were tentacles involved? Yeah.
Lots.
It was mind-blowing.
You jealous? Now, get out of here! I wanna spend some more time with my daughter.
Kamran.
Ugh.
Now what? Listen, I know you worked your ass off for this moment.
And our hard work is rarely celebrated.
So I get how badly you wanna be seen, but you know this isn't right.
Have you ever seen the show? My brother wasn't exactly making television that we could be proud of.
Well, you know what, he doesn't have to be a torch-bearer for all of us.
That expectation is, honestly, unrealistic and, frankly, annoying.
Your brother inspired people, not by trying to inspire people, but just by being himself.
Well then too bad that he quit.
And-and that's how you wanna leave things? Don't let this be the fight that changes things between you, because once that happens, you could lose him forever.
Which diaper do you wanna go with for the baby alien? Picture's up! Two, I like the extra cushion.
Look, picture's up.
Like, right now.
There's nothing I can do.
Instead of lighting up in the dark, all alone, you need to get your ass in there and take back your show.
You know, you're really pushy for Labor Relations.
You can't make me go back! "Bud Stuy" was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Oh, no! It's the nosy landlord! I have to hide the bong and the baby alien! Sorry, buddy.
I didn't know it was inspection day! That's why it's called a surprise inspection.
That's why it's called a surprise inspection! I'm Nick Hunter.
Intergalactic alien law enforcer.
What the hell is the nosy landlord doing? No.
You're the nosy landlord.
It's called a plot twist, amateur.
Now where's Gus-Gus? Ah-ha! Oh.
Set this bad boy to stun.
Hey, hey! Ugh! And this.
Won't.
Hurt.
A.
Bit.
Ah! Caught you, you little finger-biter.
No, no, no, no! Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry! Just a little boo-boo.
There we go.
You beautiful alien baby.
Faiz, what did I tell you about having the right accoutrements? Take a couple of these for the road, nosy landlord.
Have a nice trip, Gus-Gus.
I'm just glad things are back to normal around here.
It looks like the audience hated it.
But that's why I believed in you in the first place.
You guys! Shh.
Happy birthday.
Thanks! My first time using a cell phone was the day Behrad was born.
I was trying to take a selfie, but my annoying baby brother photo-bombed.
Every Eid, he wanted to be in the kitchen.
And he wasn't just sneaking Maman's fesenjoon.
He was learning.
No wonder he cooks the best team dinners.
He's on his own weird and special wavelength.
I love him just the way he is.
He is priceless.
And somehow I forget that someone really amazing gave up everything for him to be here.
For me, Behrad's birthday became a reminder of everything he missed out on.
It makes me happy to see he's had a chance to really live.
Well, you know, we're throwing a party for him right now and you should really get going before all the cake is gone.
I know how you love cake.
What about the timeline? Well, I heard that finding loopholes is kind of your thing, so I had a chat with the ancestors.
Turns out, two air Totems have never existed at the same time before.
They think if only one of us is out at a time, Behrad should be safe.
I say we try it out for a few weeks.
What are you waiting for? Behrad's probably looking for someone to take shrooms with as we speak.
Oh, you know how to imitate Maman's disapproving death stare, right? Yeah.
Yeah.
Good.
Thank you.
- Look at this guy.
- Aww.
I heard you committed grand theft auto.
Yeah.
Did all that for little old me? I did it for everyone.
We couldn't breathe around the douchier you.
Too much cologne.
Is that sandalwood and frankincense? I like sandalwood and frankincense.
All right.
My little brother is all grown up.
Oh! Happy birthday.
No.
So Avalance is engaged, congrats.
Sara has a new set of healing powers, sweet.
Gary's been an alien this whole time.
Not at all surprising.
Lita's expecting.
Oh, and a baby alien imprinted on my boyfriend.
Cool, cool, cool.
Hm, well, guess I can count on you to never change, Mick.
Cheers.
Whoa.
The hell are you doing? When you and Kayla got caught up in the moment, her tentacle entered your ear canal, and she laid eggs in your head, and now you're growing a brood Pouch.
So you're saying my dad is pregnant? Yep.
Gideon? Sorry, I can't help it.
This is the laugh I was programmed with.
Wow.
That I did not see coming.
Greg, move your head.