iCarly s06e09 Episode Script

- Okay.
- Oh to the kay! - So, last week, Gibby - Who's a freak Said that he loves Baggles.
You remember Baggles.
Baggles is a recurring character on iCarly, played by a large sack of yogurt.
So when Gibby said that he loved baggies, Sam said Then why don't you marry him? And Gibby, being the Gibby that he is Said, "uh, yeah, sure, whatever.
" Which means it's Wedding time! [ Applause .]
[ Crowd cheering .]
Father Steinberg? Gibby, Baggles, get out here! [ Music .]
Gibby Father Steinberg.
Baggles [ Grunting .]
Ugh I'm sorry He has a sinus infection.
Let's get on with it.
Kids have short attention spans.
All right.
Gibby, do you take this infected sack of yogurt to be your Whatever? I'm sorry I'm sorry I promised myself I wouldn't do this.
Yes, I do.
Baggles [ Grunting .]
Do you take Orenthal Hayes Gibson to be your Whatever? [ Grunting .]
I now pronounce you, bag and wife.
[ Glass breaking .]
Well, we hope you enjoyed this freak show wedding.
Join us next week for the bitter divorce.
[ Grunting .]
Y'all come back now, ya hear? [ Music .]
Okay, this chicken wing was only in your mouth for like two seconds, and the bone is totally clean! How do you do it? Years of practice.
It takes a lot a mouth coordination to totally master, the chicken wing bite, scrape, and slurp.
[ Slurping .]
Genius.
Okay, can you guys stop the chicken wing lesson, and help me come up with some more names? Flerbert.
What? Ah, you said to come up with names.
So I invented "Flerbert".
No.
We're making a list of people to invite to Spencer's birthday party.
How 'bout "Smelvin"? - I'd party with a Smelvin.
- Real people! And take that wedding dress off.
No, I paid forty bucks to rent this dress, and I don't have to return it 'til tomorrow.
I'm getting my money's worth outta this rag.
Come on, we need more people for Spencer's party.
Who we got so far? Uh Me You Freddie Gibby And? Flerbert and Smelvin.
Ah! Socko! No, Socko's on safari in Africa with his cousin, uh Hunter.
Hunter.
What about T-Bo? - T-Bo and Spencer are mad at each other.
- Why? Because Spencer made fun of him for the way he pronounces tissue.
- How does T-Bo say tissue? - "Tissyou".
That's not how you pro-nounce it? Come on, Spencer's gotta have some friends other than us.
Friends his own age.
Spencer's Book Club.
No, he got kicked out after he accidentally set a whole box of books on fire.
- What book were they reading? - Fahrenheit 451.
It's pro-nounced Fur-in-height.
Gibby! So Spencer has no grownup friends? Really? I guess, since he's always taking care of me, and hanging out with us all the time, he doesn't really have that many friends his own age anymore.
Well, I'm just gonna say Dresses are really comfortable.
Seriously.
The air-conditioning just comes right up there.
- Hey guys.
- Hey what's up! - You were playing tennis? - Yeah, but I lost.
- I thought you were getting good? - I am but I made my own tennis racquet and When I got it out in the sun, I guess the heat just That's pretty embarrassing.
Hey, if you played tennis then you were with a friend, right? - Sure, why? - Get ready to type.
Ah, what friend? Ryan.
Hey man, can I use your bathroom? - Sure, it's up there to the right.
- Cool.
- What is he, in fourth grade? - Third.
Ah, I gotta go fix my floppy racquet! Okay, we have to find Spencer some friends his own age.
- Yeah.
Must.
- Yup.
Absolutely.
So, when did Spencer start playing teenis? - It's tennis! - I say teenis.
In 5 I know you see.
Somehow the world will change for me.
And be so wonderful.
Live life, breathe air.
I know somehow we're gonna get there.
And feel so wonderful.
It's all for real.
I'm telling you just how I feel.
So wake up the members of my nation.
It's your time to be.
There's no chance unless you take one.
And the time to see the brighter side of every situation.
Some things are meant to be.
So give me your best and leave the rest to me.
Leave it all to me.
(Leave it all to me).
Leave it all to me.
Just leave it all to me.
Hey, what do ya think of him? He could be a friend for Spencer.
- Perfect age.
- Alone.
- Doesn't look too stupid.
- Or too smart.
- Let's hit him up.
- Going in.
What? You got a name? Yeah.
Darnell.
Well, hey, Darnell.
We saw that, uh, you're sitting with no friends.
Well, I work at night.
And my friends have day jobs.
So, I don't have many buds to hang with.
Well, Darnell, what if I told ya, we have a friend for ya, who's got no job? None.
A cool, fun dude who could hang out with you whenever.
And makes sculptures Out of garbage.
Sometimes, his socks Light up.
Keep talking.
[ Phone beeps .]
What's Carly saying? They got their first friend for Spencer.
Some guy named Darnell.
Ah.
I used to know a guy named Darnell.
And? Ya know, not every story has to be "interesting".
Now let's try to find him another one.
Right.
A cool friend for Spencer.
What about him? Psh, no way.
He's wearing his towel like a woman.
No dude should do that.
So, did you return your wedding dress? Nah.
I called the guys, they're gonna lemme keep it one more day.
Awesome.
He looks all right.
Yeah That's how ya wear a towel.
Come on.
Uh, excuse us.
Yes.
Excuse us.
What ya guys need? Take a look at this guy.
Yeah.
How would you like to be friends with him? You know you would.
Hey, what time you wanna start the party? I dunno.
I'll text Jennifer and see what time she wants to start it.
There's two guys.
Yeah, I could see them hanging with Spencer.
Oh great, Cilantro.
Oh, yeah, let's not get any Cilantro.
How come? Jennifer doesn't like it.
What? Why do you have to get your girlfriend's approval for everything? I don't have to get Jennifer's approval for You love Cilantro, man! You and me, we've been eating Cilantro together since prison! Now your dumb girlfriend comes in and ruins the whole Don't you call Jennifer dumb! Ya know what? You can just get yourself another best friend.
Okay! Maybe I will! My older brother Loves Cilantro.
Loves it Hey hey What? That guy who just went in that stall, perfect grownup friend for Spencer.
Yeah, but Carly says we already have enough.
- Oh, one more won't hurt.
- Ok well, what are you Don't go into the - Who are you? - Gibby.
- You want a cool friend? - Get outta here! Just gimme 10 minutes to tell you about this guy named Spencer.
- No! - No! He's an artist.
He has great hair He plays teenis, I mean Oh come on.
Stupid soap.
Here ya go, Sir.
Put your hands out.
Thank you.
Appreciate it.
So How was your food? It was excellent.
Oh, need a towel? Ah.
Thank you again.
Sure thing.
And That's for you.
Three bucks? For what? You're the men's room attendant, right? Yes.
I am the men's room attendant.
That is my job.
Well, take care.
This is the best job ever! [ Music .]
Yo yo, you guys ready to go bowling? - Um, actually - Guess who has his own ball? You bought a bowling ball? No.
I made one.
I sculpted it! Check it out! That's not round.
So? Look, I realize it didn't come out "perfect".
But come on that's what makes it special.
It makes you special.
Anyway, we're not really going bowling.
Aw, what are we doing? We're not doing anything.
You are going out to dinner with some friends.
Game time.
Spencer, these are your new friends.
Uh Hey? I uh, I brought you some Cilantro.
[ Music .]
And so this reporter from CNN asks the Senator, he goes "Well, I feel that such information should remain confidential.
" - Oh my God.
- So hypocritical.
And that's the guy pushing for campaign finance reform, right? Hey, hey, you guys know who loves to talk about politics? - Tell us.
- Old man belly button.
Who's that? I'll introduce ya to him.
Whoa! I'll tell ya about politics.
Oh! Ut-oh! But first.
I think I'm gonna sneeze.
Ah-choo! Now watch, I can make him gag.
Right? - I think he's having a good time.
- Yeah.
Man, I'm starving, where's our waiter? Over there, being weird.
Ah.
Ah.
Ah.
Aw, he's not that weird.
Uh, did you hear him take our order? "What? You want a cheeseburger?" "Okay, I'll get you a cheeseburger.
" "With cheese on it.
" Yeah, and when I asked for chili fries, he was all "What? Chili fries? Sure, we have chili fries.
" "Why do" Hello.
You making fun of me? No.
No, I was not.
I think you were.
- Was I making fun of him? - Yes.
Sam! Look, we just want our food.
Sure.
I'll get ya, your food.
- Uh-oh.
- What? He is gonna do something bad to your food.
No he is not.
Carly? He is not gonna do something bad to Freddie's food.
Mm-kay.
Enjoy your chili fries.
- I will.
- After he blows his nose on them.
Dang it, Sam [ Music .]
- Hey, where's Gibby? - In the men's room.
- Doing what? - Working.
[ Music .]
Here's a paper towel for ya And A meatball.
Okay.
- Later.
- Whoa whoa whoa Ahem ahem.
Oh, sorry.
Um I don't have any money.
You got a watch.
Thank you for using my toilet.
- I think it's going well.
- Mmmmm, I dunno.
Spencer's not looking too happy.
So before I could move here to Seattle, I had to sell my condo.
Hey! Any you guys play Zombie Death Squad? My gamer tag is Buju.
I made that up in the shower.
I was just washing me, and boom Popped into my head Buju! Woo! - Hey.
- What? Where were you a minute ago? Outside.
In the alley.
With a customer's chili fries? Maybe.
Who are they for? Table nine.
The iCarly boy who made fun of me.
Where's my coffee? Just a second! Hey, I'm still waiting on my chili fries! All right! Seriously, if you guys enjoy live theater.
You've got to see The Seagull at The Chumley.
Oh, I love the Chumley Theater.
Hey.
Hey.
You guys have seen the new Eddie Murphy movie, right? Kanga-fat?! He buys a kangaroo and he wears a fat suit! I hear they considered calling it Fataroo! Both good options.
That movie is for children.
And idiots.
I write poetry.
Oh! Your chili fries.
- About time.
- Really.
Oh God, those look good.
Ow! What the hey?! You said you didn't want chili fries.
Yeah, because I thought my nachos were gonna come out at the same time You can't change your mind! These are for us.
You guys Are so mean And boring! Well, you're childish.
I am not! Mm mm.
Good chili fries.
Carly! - What?! - I don't like those guys! - Just give them a chance to - No! They're dull and un-fun and they talk about politics, and taxes, and live theater and I hate them! - But you need friends your own age.
- I do not! Aw, come here.
Come here baby.
- It's okay, it's okay - Yeah It's okay.
Oh my God! Oh my God, it's iCarly! It's iCarly! Hi! Hi! Hey.
I love you! Hi.
I love you.
I'm your biggest fan in the world! - I'm Carly's bro.
- Oh my God! Oh my God! - Nice meeting you.
- I need pics.
I need your picture now.
I need pic.
All right.
All right.
Smile! You're my favorite! Smile! - Okay.
Oh God! Oh my God! - Hey, you're on my lap! Oh my God! You.
Smile! You're insane.
- Where's Gibby?!?! - Oh, he's in the men's room working Oh my God Gibby! Gibby! Oh my God meatballs! Ah, Gibbeh I met Gibby! I touched Gibby! Oh my God! [ Screaming .]
No! No! No! No! No! I love you, iCarly! Ugh, these chili fries.
They taste weird.
I I don't feel so good.
I think I think I'm gonna be sick.
How you fellas doing tonight? Ah, when you're done in there, I got meatballs for ya.
[ Vomiting .]
Yeah.
Hot, juicy meatballs.
[ Vomiting .]
Oh, and here's a little soothing music, while ya handle your business.
Lovin' you Is my favorite thing to do.
And if you'll be mine Till the end of all time My heart will sing the sweetest part of this song.
Oh love Gibbeh For he's a jolly good Spencer.
For he's a jolly good Spencer.
For he's a jolly good Spencer My feet are swollen! Where are my pills?!?! [ Laughs .]
- All right.
Come on.
Let's go.
- Okay, okay, okay Ready? All right.
[ Applause .]
- Woo! Yeah.
- Yeah baby.
- Happy Birthday.
- Thanks, kid.
And Happy Birthday old man belly button! Thank you Carly! Okay okay, let's eat this sucka.
Giant Spaghetti Taco time! Grande espagueti tacola! No! No.
It's my birthday, and I say that before we eat We play Jamaican laser tag! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Dreads on - Yup.
Laser weapons, mon! Let's go, mon! - Look out mon! - Me lasa! Ha, ya missed me! Pyoo pyoo mon! Hoppy birthday, mon! I'll blast ya mutha! Ya be shootin' like a woman! Ya lasered me nose!