Mad Men s06e09 Episode Script

The Better Half

Previously on Mad Men You're going to have a love scene.
And between you, me and soon a national audience, it's more of a love affair.
Oh, my goodness.
I don't want to live on the Upper East Side.
Why? I saw us raising our kids in a place with more different kinds of people.
We created a human life.
When you told me about the merger, I hoped he would rub off on you.
Obviously, you're on his side.
Why did you do it all off their sides? It tastes better because it's more expensive.
It's the premium brand and it's priced accordingly.
Price is irrelevant because the question is does it taste better than butter? Butter is actually fresh.
Margarine is indestructible.
He's right because he's only comparing different margarines and margarine has a 70% market share over butter.
But it's hard to say any brand is luxury when although Fleischmann's is the most expensive and Blue Bonnet, owned by the same company, is the least expensive, the difference is only pennies.
is the highest.
That's 50% more expensive.
Fleischmann's is Chivas Regal.
Still half the price of butter.
- It's Budweiser.
- But what's the market share? I just said it's much higher than butter.
Seeing as I have the ear of the client, it's my recommendation we go on taste alone.
Peggy! Don, I agree with you.
You're in the market buying margarine.
Okay.
What goes through your mind? Mouthwatering, savory, delicious taste? Or mouthwatering, savory, delicious taste and price? I'd buy the cheaper one.
There's one for 45 cents a pound and one for 29.
Which one do you think is gonna taste better? It's a terrible gamble to tell a client that their product is expensive.
Shh.
Let her answer.
I don't know.
They both sound good.
Really? Does everyone agree with yours? It's not his and mine.
Everyone has an opinion.
We haven't heard it, but I'm sure they do.
I like Don's.
What did Harry say? I feel strongly both ways.
They're both so good.
I'd probably ask someone to run them by the client on the sly.
The meeting's tomorrow.
You know what, Don? Let's go with yours.
Nah, I'm not even gonna be there.
You should go with whatever you're most comfortable with.
Could you get me another copy of that research? I want to make it big on a board.
Did you see that? He didn't even turn around.
- Yep.
- Oh, it speaks.
Come on, I wasn't gonna get in the middle of that.
You suddenly dumber than Peggy? So you're content in silence? I'm content with reality.
You know what this place looks like to the outside world? A mess.
We don't even have a name.
- We're the '27 Yankees.
- Says who? Pete, you want to get your balls tickled? Go see a headhunter.
Are you leaving? Look, when things settle down, I'm gonna be a partner.
For the time being, it's nice to know that the water's warm out there.
Did you lose something? Yes.
I was looking for how do you say, a pen to write something down.
Oh, well, the desk is littered with them.
Would you like a drink? Certainly, Colette.
Although this is my husband's office.
I should be offering you one.
It is no trouble at all.
We're a lot alike.
We're both interested in things that belong to me.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't know what your relationship is with my husband, but it's over.
Cut.
Let's clean up in there and back up.
Megan, sweetheart, what are you doing on the floor? The script said to spill the drink.
It doesn't say to clean it up.
I just thought Your sister Corinne is the maid.
You're Colette right now.
She's blonde, classy.
We need you to make these women different, honey.
Let's take it from the top, ladies.
Don't worry about it.
I think Phyllis left for the day, but I never saw the boards for tomorrow.
- Stan has them.
- Ah.
- What are you working on? - Royal Hawaiian.
- How's that going? - I'm sure you will tell me.
I will.
I'll look at it very carefully and then I'll formulate an educated opinion.
You should try it sometime.
It's what professionals do.
Don.
You've been debating that for weeks.
- You both have a point.
- I'm not paying you to be a diplomat.
Well, you're both more experienced than me.
I don't know that my opinion matters.
Your opinion matters.
Now what do you think is the best way to go? - It's somewhere in the middle.
- No, Peggy.
There's a right and there's a wrong.
How could that be? What you're really saying is there's you and there's him.
And I don't know how I became in charge of turning this into a collaboration.
Isn't that your job? You're both demanding and you're both pigheaded.
You're the same person sometimes.
The difference is that he's interested in the idea and you're interested in your idea.
He's interested in his idea.
Don't let him fool you.
Well, he never makes me feel this way.
He doesn't know you.
Henry said you were leaving.
He just had to make one phone call, which turned out to be two.
Full house, I see.
He should be off in a minute.
Well, he's a lucky man.
But not as lucky as me, because I wanted to be alone with you all night.
He'll be out in a minute.
I don't think you heard.
I want to be alone with you all night.
Mr.
Dell, I have three children.
I don't care.
No, look at me.
Can you believe I've had three children? How was your evening, Stew? Raised a lot of money.
Darling, shall we? - What's going on? - There was an incident.
Oh, my God! - They hurt you.
- I'm fine, honey.
He was getting off the subway and two guys stabbed him.
- What? - Hey, I don't want to worry her, man.
I'm sorry, but I'm trying to get it straight.
And, frankly, she should know so she can keep up her defense.
- Jesus, what happened? - Are we done here? For a reporter, this is missing detail.
And if you'd waited at the hospital, as you were instructed, we'd be done.
But for some reason you didn't.
I filled out the form.
Come on, were they colored or Puerto Rican? Or white? I'm from Brooklyn and I always keep my eyes down.
Could you describe the shoes? Look, both of us have done our civic duty.
So, respectfully, I think you should go.
I'd get one of these.
Good evening, ma'am.
Can you believe those questions? - Fascist pig! - Shut up, Abe! You don't know what they look like? You have a photographic memory.
Peg, I'm not gonna give him an excuse to shake down every kid that walks through this neighborhood.
What about the one that stabbed you? This is a fucking police state and we're gonna have to fight, okay? They did it in Prague.
They did it in Paris.
And, believe it or not, we're gonna have to do it here, too.
That doesn't mean protecting criminals.
Listen, baby, it's my right to tell whomever whatever I want.
But you can keep talking because everything you say is going in my story.
What are you talking about? It's just fascinating, the attitudes I'm encountering.
But why would you side with the cops? I don't know.
I read about this.
You obviously had a traumatic experience not unlike combat.
So I'm going to let you do whatever you're doing.
Don't patronize me.
Those kids have no other recourse in this system.
- They're animals.
- They were brought here by slave ships.
Well, I was brought here by you.
I don't care if I take a loss, I'm gonna sell this shithole.
You're worried about me and I love you for it.
Now, I don't think I can type with this thing.
Get my Olympia.
Help me get some of this down.
I'm going to bed.
This is nice.
It's Thursday.
Told you I was making dinner.
Sit down.
How was your day? How was yours? Hmm.
It was Ugh, it was terrible.
I don't even know if I want to talk about it.
What's for dinner? I think they hate me.
They just gave you a second part.
I feel like an idiot because they keep telling me they can't tell the twins apart.
I think I'm playing them very differently.
It's not like it's never been done before.
Exactly.
I told Mel I didn't want to be a cliché.
Then he starts rapping about how they're two halves of the same person and they want the same thing, but they're trying to get it in different ways.
Listen, would you mind if we just go in and turn on the set? I'm really not hungry.
Did you have a bad day? I'm just tired.
Go lay down.
I'll clean up.
I already packed your bag for Bobby's camp.
Tomorrow's another day.
John, could you give us some privacy? Was the evening a success? You tell me.
Well, I-- I found it fascinating as usual watching you work your magic.
And while you were watching me, everyone was watching you, weren't they? Stewart did everything but grab your ass.
I didn't notice.
What did he say to you? I don't want to get anyone in trouble.
Word for word.
He said he wanted to be alone with me.
What else? All night.
Daddy, I don't want him running on the steps.
Why not? Kids are supposed to run.
Ellery, come down.
We don't have any steps in the apartment.
He's not good at them.
So what do you think, girls? See any resemblance? He's very handsome.
So, Ellery, take a good look.
Who's your type? Hello, Margaret.
I'll tell you mine later.
It's nice to see you.
Oh, he's precious.
How old is he? He's four.
He's having a special day with Pop-pop.
We're going to the zoo and maybe the movies.
So it's just a regular workday.
Don't fill him full of junk.
Can't promise that.
Wave good-bye, swabby.
We're shoving off.
How many times have you met with Harry? Too many.
Don't waste my time like Crane.
I'm a headhunter, not a fan club.
Fine, let's talk about me.
Let's talk about Burt Peterson.
I got him a vice presidency at McCann.
If he keeps his head down, he's set for life.
But the merger was fresh.
I don't know your situation.
You weren't very straight on the phone.
You think they're gonna cut you loose? How come you didn't get yourself a job? That's a Yankee wrinkle.
- You interested in my business? - No.
Well, if we sat down a couple of months ago, this would have been a different conversation.
Nothing's changed.
I'll show you my Rolodex.
It's not that.
It's your lack of a role in the management structure.
Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce Cutler Gleason and Chaough? Who the hell's in charge? Two of those men are as dead as doornails.
There's still a lot of chiefs and only a couple of Indians.
And a lot of questions.
What the hell happened with Vicks? So paint me a new portrait.
I'm glad you said that.
How about seeing things from the client side? There's a head of marketing job in Wichita that you'd be perfect for.
Anything back here on Earth? You know, I've always liked you, Campbell, so forgive me for saying this, but if you do a little better, I can do a lot better.
I don't know what else I can do.
I've been you and I went on interviews and I realized I was filling the room with desperation.
Five cents worth of free advice.
You've got to spend less time in this place and more at home.
This is a reluctant necessity.
My mother's run amok.
Pete, one day I looked in the mirror and I realized I had regrets because I didn't understand the wellspring of my confidence.
Gin? My family.
My family is a constant distraction.
You better manage that or you're not gonna manage anything.
Hey, buddy.
Can you help me? I'm occupied at the moment, sir.
Hello there.
Oh.
Are you lost, too? Not yet.
I'm trying to get some gas.
Lady asked for directions.
Fill 'er up with regular.
Where's Henry? He's coming tomorrow.
I'm surprised you were able to get away.
Where are you staying? Somewhere over here.
Just go down here.
Stay on here a mile and a half till you get to the big mill.
Make a left.
Go back through town till the railroad tracks.
Hang a right over the bridge and then you come to the little mill.
Do any of the roads have names? Follow me.
Fleischmann's just called.
See? You were worried for nothing.
Well, they just requested some more recent figures on market share.
I'll handle it.
Peggy, may I speak with you? Go ahead.
What the hell were you doing back there? You didn't want me to talk.
I didn't talk.
That was the plan.
Did you want me to talk? - No, you touched my hand.
- What? When you handed me the board.
What? No, I didn't.
Yes, you did.
And you can't do that in a presentation.
I doubt anyone saw that because I didn't even know I did it.
It jarred me.
And when I finally caught up, then you smiled.
You can't smile at me like that.
I never should have kissed you.
I assumed we were forgetting about that.
I forgot it.
Well, I haven't.
Oh.
What an old tune.
The boss in love with his protégé.
Is this all me? Because that'll help.
I think about it.
Well, we can't.
I have someone, you have someone.
And believe me, I've considered it a lot further than that.
I didn't know you felt this way.
I don't want to, that's the point.
Now I realize I never should have brought it up.
Do you want me to work someplace else? No.
Of course not.
Come on, you have to do it.
And the left.
Father Abraham had seven sons, seven sons And seven sons had Father Abraham.
Daddy, you came! You didn't tell him I was here? I wanted it to be a surprise.
You catch any fish? Damn it, I made you a wallet, but it's back in my cabin.
Bobby, language.
We'll get it later.
Mommy said we can have anything we want.
Hi! This is my mom and dad.
That's Bobby Two.
He's shy.
Are you Bobby or Bobby One? I'm Bobby Five.
It's sad.
There's no Bobby One anymore.
Because of Bobby Kennedy? No, he went home.
Do you want me to get the waitress so you can get a drink? - Is that possible? - No.
Mommy's having a chef salad and I'm having a cheeseburger.
What do you want so I can order? What's good here? I'm afraid nothing.
Daddy, I want to teach you this song.
Just do what I do.
Father Abraham had seven sons, seven sons And seven sons had Father Abraham And they never laughed, ha ha And they never cried, boo-hoo All they did was go like this With the right Father Abraham had seven sons, seven sons Seven sons had Father Abraham And they never laughed, ha ha And they never cried, boo-hoo All they did was go like this, with the right Can I walk you out? Certainly, if you don't mind waiting.
I need your advice.
And, well, it's of a personal nature and thus above Clara's security clearance.
How can I help you? Do you feel my attention to business has been diluted? How personal is this conversation? I'm being pulled in a million directions.
My wife, my child, my mother.
I can't solve those problems, Pete.
I have those problems.
I live with my mother.
Has your mother exhausted every nursing agency? No, but she's exhausted me.
Well the options are my home and a home, neither of which will make me feel better.
I am sorry to hear that.
- Do you want to get supper? - I can't.
I have plans.
Thank you, Joan.
- For what? - I don't know.
Welcome.
Oh, I'm a little damp.
Did it finally rain? No, but I walked.
This was cold when I left.
You walked from the West Side? What an incredible space.
Did you do this yourself? Oh, I had a little help.
Arlene, you read about the shootings in the park, didn't you? I'm not gonna let a few lunatics ruin a gorgeous night like this.
Should I go get my script? Megan, darling, you're a good actress on your way to becoming, well, at least a successful one.
There's nothing I can tell you about that script.
I came over here because I'm worried about you.
Am I gonna get fired? I remember my first job.
Believe it or not, in radio.
"Against the Storm.
" Very classy, a lot of big words, high morals.
And my agent, who I later learned was angling to sign Roger DeKoven, told me my voice was childish.
And every day I would vacillate between "Arlene, you're wonderful" and "Arlene, you're caca.
" Which was it? Honestly? I was wonderful.
You should go inside.
You'll get eaten alive out here.
You know mosquitos ignore me.
In those shorts? Did you find a bottle? Maybe.
Cheers.
I loved camp.
I never went.
Yes, you did.
Remember when we went to Lake Champlain with my parents? I remember.
And you got in a horrible fight with my father about who would carry the luggage.
And then we went in the woods and made Sally.
I don't understand her.
Henry says she's a lot like you.
How would he know? He says she reminds him of you.
I think she's a lot like you.
Bobby reminds me of my father.
So bossy.
All the teenagers of the world are in revolt.
What were we like? You and me? When I saw you earlier today I thought for a second, "Who is that man?" And I forgot how mad I was at you.
Ugh, I don't know what's happened, but I'm all bit up.
Close the door.
You'll let the bugs in.
What are you doing? Waiting for you to tell me to stop.
What did you think when you saw me? That you are as beautiful as the day I met you.
So finally I said to Mel, "I'm either his mother or his girlfriend.
I can't be both.
" That's bad writing.
You're so lucky he's at work.
Please, dear, that's a complex relationship.
But he understands what you do and he wants you to be great.
And he's always proud of you.
I've seen it.
Don's very proud of you.
You can tell by how protective he is.
It's been so different.
You know, we worked together and I left to pursue this.
And he was so encouraging.
And then you started succeeding.
He's old-fashioned.
He'll get used to it.
I think he did.
And I think he got used to me not being around and having a bunch of problems that he couldn't solve.
And I don't know if it's him or me, but I feel so lonely.
Arlene.
What? I want to make you feel better.
This isn't the way.
Forget it.
I can't believe you.
I'm trusting you and you're taking advantage of every private moment.
Well, what was I supposed to think? You invited me over.
Your husband's not here.
Two bottles of wine to go over a scene a child could understand.
"I'm so lonely.
" I work with you and your husband is my boss.
And now what am I supposed to do? Am I gonna be punished for not doing something that you won't stop trying to do? Megan, it's okay to say no.
But you don't have to embarrass me.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to.
No, stop it.
You're a tease.
Fine.
No, I'm fine with being a tease.
Well, honey, just learn the lines.
Two characters is tough, but you know what Olivier says, let the wig do the work.
I'm gonna go before I-- well, it's too late for that, isn't it? Thank you for that.
No hard feelings.
Status quo ante bellum.
Everything as it was.
I missed you.
Do you feel guilty? No.
This happened a long time ago.
Ugh, menthols.
I don't miss that.
Is this what it would have been like if we'd stayed together? I don't think about that anymore.
I'm happy in my life.
Let's just enjoy this.
But you used to? What are you thinking right now? I'm thinking about how different you are, before and after.
I love the way you look at me when you're like this.
But then I watch it decay.
I can only hold your attention so long.
Why is sex the definition of being close to someone? I don't know, but it is for me.
It is for most people.
Just because you climb a mountain doesn't mean you love it.
Climbing a mountain? Is that what making love is to you? If we'd lied here together with you in my arms, I would have felt just as close.
Not the rest of it.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It doesn't mean that much to me.
Is it the same with Megan? Why do you want to talk about that? That poor girl.
She doesn't know that loving you is the worst way to get to you.
Are you sure you don't want to just hold me? Oh, Jesus.
Oh, thank God.
What are you doing in here? I was just fixing the window.
What the hell happened here? I'll replace it tomorrow when I get back from work.
Because you're leaving me here after someone threw a rock through our window? That's not what happened.
Well, I came in here and there's glass all over the floor and you're holding a rock.
I'm tired of being interrogated in my own home.
Do you think they saw you talking to the police? If you're gonna let your imagination run wild, come to the paper with me tonight.
Abe, I have to go to work tomorrow.
And this is our bedroom.
Someone was in our yard.
I'm really scared here.
And you're going to protect me? You only have one hand.
You're right.
You're right.
We'll start looking.
Put it on the market.
You'd really do that for me? Maybe we're not cut out to be pioneers.
Sleep in the parlor if you're worried.
I won't wake you.
Hello? You took a four-year-old to see "Planet of the Apes"? He's been having nightmares all night.
Hold on, hold on.
He wanted to see that.
He doesn't decide that.
Well, Don took his kid.
Don Draper, Father of the Year.
Margaret, honey, he loved it.
Put him on, I'll do Dr.
Zaius again.
He laughs like an idiot.
The Forbidden Zone was once a paradise.
You're not funny, Daddy.
We'll probably have to get rid of the dog; he's that afraid of fur.
Listen, I saw "The Golem" when I was his age.
You don't even know what scary is.
I was fine.
It's not my fault.
Yeah, you're right.
It's my fault.
For letting you talk me into having a four-year-old watch another four-year-old.
Listen to me, young lady, you calm down this minute.
No, Daddy, you listen to me.
You can keep up your fantasy of acting like a father, but your grandfather days are done.
I'm sorry you're upset.
I'm coming over.
- I'll calm him down.
- No.
And call Mother next time you want to see him 'cause she has to be there.
- Morning.
- Good morning.
Good to see you.
It's such a project going to the beach.
Can I go get Kevin? Let him sleep a little more.
I'd love to get one of those summer rentals.
Doesn't Pete Campbell have a beach house? I wouldn't ask him for anything.
- Don't you like him? - It's not that.
Actually, he's the only person there who's never broken a promise to me.
He's a very generous person.
And frankly, I think he's having a rough time.
So he told you about his mother? No, I wish he would have.
What's wrong? He needs a nurse.
He's not gonna ask you.
He's too ashamed.
She back from the track already? Ugh, she must have forgotten her keys.
Oh, hello, Roger.
- Who are you? - It's me, Bob Benson.
From the office.
What are you doing here? Oh, I was out shopping and I realized I had misplaced some paperwork.
And I, uh-- what are you two doing? We're leaving for the beach.
- You know what? I should go get the car.
- Good idea.
No, Mr.
Sterling is just leaving.
Roger, I'm sure this can wait till Monday.
Sure, absolutely.
Sorry about that, Bob.
I guess we're all a little bit out of context right now.
I take no offense.
Didn't know you were friends.
Some people never stop working.
I'm going to freshen up and we'll get out of here.
Hey, get off our lawn! What's going on? Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Jesus! Why didn't you say something? - What do I do? - Don't pull it out.
- If I don't make it-- - Stop it.
You're going to make it.
He's going to make it.
Look, I don't want you to think this is about what you did.
It was an accident.
I feel horrible.
No, you're scared.
You're a scared person who hides behind complacence-- cy.
Save your strength.
You're not making any sense.
I don't know why I thought you'd be braver.
You're in advertising.
Don't do this right now.
I said I was sorry.
Your activities are offensive to my every waking moment.
I'm sorry but you'll always be the enemy.
Are you breaking up with me? Got to hand it to you.
You gave me a great ending to my article.
Oh, you're back.
Did you have fun? I missed you.
Well, I miss you all the time.
I don't know when I started pretending like everything was sunny.
I don't know where you've gone, but I'm here.
I keep trying to make things the way they used to be, but I don't know how.
And maybe that's stupid or young to think like that, but something has to change.
Megan You're right.
I haven't been here.
Roger, please.
Come on, just take it.
They're Lincoln Logs.
I thought maybe he'd build his mother a house.
You can't drop in on me like that.
But I want to.
Oh, Roger, I'm so sorry, but you can't do this.
Why not? Because it's too confusing.
For Kevin.
You know.
But I'm his father.
No, his father is Greg.
But I'm here.
For now.
But every day Greg is some hero out there.
And I'd rather him think that is the man in his life.
Who's gonna watch TV with him? Bob Bunson? I just want to be around.
I know you want to.
But I can't count on that.
Thank you for the gift.
Something delicate has come to my attention.
Have a seat.
I I've really debated whether to bring this up with you because I don't want to put you in a strange position and in the end it's probably just gossip.
It's come to my attention that you may be in need of a nurse for your mother.
Joan had no right to tell you that.
His name is Manolo Colón.
He's an army-trained registered nurse and he's available now only because he's brought my father back to full health.
Is he Spanish from Spain? Because otherwise Mother will refuse.
He's very well-bred.
And don't blame Joan.
She was concerned about you and had exhausted her resources and is well aware that your well-being is also an interest of mine.
Good morning.
- Is he in? - Yes, just a minute.
It's okay.
Hi.
Good morning.
Good morning.
I just wanted to-- I needed to talk to you.
Peggy, what's wrong? I Abe got stabbed.
My goodness.
Is he okay? What happened? He's going to be fine.
But it's over.
We're done.
I'm sorry to hear that.
You are? You'll find someone else.
And whoever he is, he's lucky to have you.
Thank you.
You ready to get to work? Excuse me? It's Monday morning, Peggy.
Brand-new week.
Morning.
How was your weekend? How'd it go with Fleischmann's? They just called.
Full speed ahead.
Good work.
Round up the team.
I walk along the city streets You used to walk along with me And every step I take Recalls how much in love we used to be Oh, how can I forget you When there is always something there to remind me? Always something there to remind me I was born to love you And I will never be free You'll always be a part of me Whoa, whoa, whoa
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