Northern Exposure s06e09 Episode Script
Sons of the Tundra
The sky, there's so much of it! It's Alaska, honey.
Hey there, Cicely.
Chris in the Morning with a big KBHR hello going out to Dr.
Phillip Capra and his wife, Michelle, somewhere on the road between Sleetmute and here.
Do you hear that? As of today, Cicely is back in the primary healthcare game.
Doc Capra comes to us by way of LA, where we understand his group practice recently went belly-up.
Where'd he get that? We dissolved the partnership.
Our new medicine man is a graduate of Washington University in St.
Louis and UCLA med schooI.
He speaks French, enjoys biking.
Bienvenue á Cicely, guys.
Is that great? Of course, he could have said a little more about you.
I sent along your résumé, you know.
It doesn't matter.
He could have said, "His lovely wife, Michelle, is a professional journalist "who's been published in United Airlines' Hemispheres "and other publications.
" Phil, it was a half-page sidebar on sunscreens.
It was very well-written.
Phil, look out! It's a moose.
Yes, it is.
Working for the man every night and day But I never lost a minute of sleep Worrying about the way things might have been Big wheels keep on turning Proud Mary keeps on burning Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling Rolling on the river I see Lowell Grippo's got his Green Mountain property up for sale.
No good? Come spring runoff, a fellow has to wear hip waders to get in there.
Thanks.
Say, how's that little girl of yours doing? Just getting over a cold, I'm afraid.
You know how kids are at this age.
Oh, excuse me, Holling.
Fraters.
Frater.
Frater.
How's the Bordeaux coming? Now, I am having a lot of trouble locating that Chateau Meyney you wanted.
Well, you'd better get on it, because the Sons of the Tundra dinner is Oh, by the way, I've invited the new doctor to the dinner tomorrow night.
I hope that meets with the board approval.
He's here already? May well be.
What's his name? Capra? Yeah, like the director.
Have you checked him out, Maurice? Yes, Lester.
UCLA medical school.
Board certified in internal medicine, gastroenterology.
And, unlike some New Yorkers I could name, he wants to be here.
Practically took the job over the phone.
But we're not offering him a membership, right? No, no, no, just making him feel welcome, that's all.
Afternoon, gents.
Hey.
Sons of the Tundra business? How about a pitcher and some nachos, and an iced tea for me, Holling? Sure.
Who's going to be your guest speaker this year at the Seward dinner? Well, we're still working that out.
Say, have you heard about Joe Cutler's ketch? Oh, you mean the 75-footer he's having built in San Diego? Yeah, I understand that he doesn't have the scratch to finish it.
The hell you say.
Thank you, Ruth-Anne.
Okay, Walt.
Oh, I'm sorry, Walt.
My fault.
Wow! Nice flamingo.
Isn't she a beauty? Been a while since I've done any landscaping.
Ed, would you give me a hand with these tire chains? Yep.
I'll get it.
Are you all right? Fine.
Hello? Rudy! You're kidding.
Rudy's coming up for Thanksgiving.
Great.
See that, honey? They got my name out here already.
Marilyn? Good morning.
I'm Phil Capra.
Hi.
This is my wife, Michelle.
Hello.
Hi.
So, this is it, huh? Uh-huh.
It's quite charming, in its own way.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
It's very sui generis.
Dr.
Capra! Maurice Minnifield.
Oh, Maurice.
I saw the car drive up, so I thought Oh, Michelle? Hi.
Well, Phil, you didn't tell me what a beauty she is.
You've been holding out on me.
You don't mind if I call you Phil, do you? No, of course not.
Oh, good, okay.
You didn't have any trouble on the way up, did you? No, no.
Although we did encounter a moose, actually.
Oh, good, good.
Well, how do you like our little gem? It's fabulous.
It's kind of like stepping back in time.
This is the America we've been looking for.
And no zoning laws.
You know, Phil, I was thinking that, given your background, we could make Cicely the endoscopy capital of the Alaska Riviera.
You know, sort of a resort destination for the colo-rectal crowd.
You check in, get a colonoscopy, do a little fly fishing.
Great idea.
Maurice, you mentioned on the phone that you owned a newspaper.
Michelle is a journalist.
Oh, is that a fact? How would you like your own column in the Cicely News & World Telegram? Are you serious? Well, yeah.
I've got a piece to finish up on museum gift shops for Southwest, but I Well, anytime you're ready.
In the meantime, please accept this token of my appreciation.
Well, thank you very much.
Welcome to Cicely.
Thank you, Ruth-Anne.
Okay, Walt.
I'm sorry, Walt.
My fault.
Nice flamingo.
Isn't she a beauty? Been a while since I've done any landscaping.
Ed, would you give me a hand with these tire chains? Yes, ma'am.
I'll get it.
Watch out for the water bo Thanks, anyway.
You all right? I'm fine.
Say hi to Rudy.
Hello? Rudy! You're kidding.
Rudy's coming up for Thanksgiving.
Great.
What about Mexican shrimp, Is it good? Okay.
Send me 80 pounds.
Right, okay.
Hello, Holling.
That's a lot of fruits de mer.
Well, what can I do for you? Well, Maurice, did I imagine it, or some years ago, did you invite me to join the Sons of the Tundra? You a member of the club? Well, that's an interesting concept.
I seem to recall a conversation.
I'm total blank.
At the time, if it did happen, I'm sure I wasn't interested, but times change, a man's economic circumstances I guess what I'm trying to say is, Maurice, that should the same opportunity arise today, I'd venture to say that my response would be different.
You realize that the initiation fee is $2,000.
I can manage that.
Yeah.
Well, I'll bring it up to the membership committee.
That is, if and when we have an opening.
You know, we've been full for years.
I thought Alex Hargrave's boy just got in.
That's a legacy.
That was automatic.
What about Jack Foster? Holling, as I recall, Jack was inducted as a non-resident.
He lives in Talkeetna.
That's special circumstances.
I see.
Sorry I can't help you.
I've got some mulligan stew on the stove, I'll Thank you for your time, Maurice.
Holling.
What was I thinking of? You know, Will Furman disappeared in that blizzard last year.
He's been gone for six months now.
I think we can call his membership "inactive.
" Why don't you come as my guest to the Seward dinner tomorrow night, and we'll talk about it, kick it around the membership committee? Tomorrow? Well, I'd have to move a few things around.
Cocktails at 7:00.
I can make it.
Thank you.
Kind of nice to see something other than a wolf range, huh, Phil? It's It's fine in the short term.
We're planning to build.
Oh, nice.
Oh, you know, we've been having a little problem with the grid this side of town.
Oh.
Well, some new curtains, recover the couch.
What's that smell? Oh, yeah, sure, absolutely.
I mean, Fleischman Dr.
Fleischman certainly never did anything with it.
Needs a little clean-up job over here, huh? Oh! Oh, God.
Fleischman's Sunday New York Times.
You know, I kept telling him to recycle.
What exactly happened to Dr.
Fleischman, anyway? Mr.
Minnifield wasn't clear.
Well, he went back to New York, right? Well, no, no, not exactly.
He just sort of took a sabbatical.
You mean, he's coming back? No, I don't think so.
He's just out there.
Upriver.
Oh.
Did you know him well? Pretty well.
Sort of, in a way.
Well, what did you think? Honey? I like it.
There's really nothing else on the market? No, not this nice.
Well, we'll take it.
What do you think, Randi? Too much skin? Mercy.
Later, H.
I got to pick out accessories.
Accessories for what? For the Seward dinner, silly.
You didn't give me much warning.
Shelly? Yeah, babe? The Seward dinner is what they call a stag affair.
What? It's for men only.
You mean, I'm not invited? Well, no women are.
The Sons of the Tundra is a men's club, honey.
So? So everything they do is for men only.
Except for the Santa brunch, you know, where they distribute toys.
So you get all GQ'd out just to hang out with other guys? Basically.
Yeah.
Oh.
My joining is mainly a business thing.
I'll make a lot of contacts, move in different circles.
It's what they call networking.
Oh, yeah, no biggie.
Look at Mommy's pretty girl.
Do you like your hat? Hello? Who's there? Is this yours? My arborio rice.
Found it back there.
Thanks.
I'm Michelle Schowdoski Capra.
Walt Kupfer.
Nice to meet you.
How did my rice Mole, probably.
It could have been a marmot.
Inside the house? Inside, underneath.
Word to the wise: Steel wool in all cracks and crevices.
Thanks.
I'd ask you in for coffee, but we're still unpacking.
Oh, that's okay.
Got to get the viscera out of these puppies before they rot.
Have a good one.
You, too.
Marilyn? I thought we might go over office procedure.
Please.
You've worked here a long time, Marilyn, and I would like to defer to that experience.
So is there any procedure that you would like to see changed or any piece of new equipment we might need? Toaster oven.
Toaster oven? Mmm-hmm.
Okay.
Let's talk about billing.
Okay.
Are we online with Medicare? You know, by computer? We don't have a computer.
Do we bill insurance companies directly? Sometimes.
Sometimes, meaning? When Dr.
Fleischman told me to.
Okay, thanks, Marilyn.
That about covers it.
Okay.
Dr.
Capra.
Wh Hi, I'm Ed.
Ed.
Uh Well, what can I do for you, Ed? Well, why I'm here is, I was wondering, how do you go about treating a broken foot? Ouch.
Where's the break? Actually, see, it might not be broken.
It could just be a bad bruise.
Well, why don't we just take a look at it? It hasn't happened yet.
What? No, see, not till tonight.
That's when Hayden Keyes is going to step on it.
Uh, I don't understand.
Are you two guys having a fight or something? Nothing like that.
But it will be an accident.
Hayden's a pretty big boy.
You lost me.
If it's going to be an accident, how do you know it's going to happen? Why, I saw it.
In the future.
You can see the future? Well, just since yesterday.
See, I ate this trout, only it wasn't really a trout.
What was it? Well, you know.
No, no, no, I don't, really.
Y'eil.
Y'eil? A raven.
Boy, can he be a shape-changer.
I guess I should have known at the time, you know, with the way he was staring up at me and all.
But I was really hungry and I'd already cooked the almond slivers, so You ate him.
Anyway, so, Dr.
Capra, I always forget.
Do you heat it or put ice on it? Joel? Holling.
Ed told me you had a new beard.
So how's it going up there? You getting enough company? This is a beautiful blade you got here.
Kenai Toothpick.
Long radius, good heft.
Joel, is there something I can do for you? Holling, here's the thing.
I need a new skinning knife.
I broke the last one off on this black-tailed buck.
You know, pelvic bone.
I see.
And since you're not hunting anymore, I thought maybe we could make a trade, so I brought some beaver.
Might make a good wrap for the baby.
It's good quality, it'd be warm.
That's a handsome pelt, Joel.
Yeah, well, a Kenai Toothpick's worth more, huh? You're right.
Bone handle, Solingen steel.
All right, we got I got some red fox and some sable, how about that, a deal? Well, yeah.
All right.
I appreciate it.
I got some caribou in the smokehouse, I'll send some down for you, okay? Can I deliver any messages for you? Just send everyone my best, and you can tell them I'm always available for consultation.
You know, Maurice has got a new doctor.
I think that's appropriate, right? I'd like to meet him sometime.
See you.
I was going to laugh, but I could see that he was dead serious.
He actually believes this trout was some sort of spirit figure that's given him the power to see the future.
You know, Phil First he experiences an event as a vision, then it happens for real.
We're talking about a full-blown delusional fantasy.
This is not just another biliary tract procedure, honey.
This is why I got into medicine in the first place.
Uh-huh.
For five years, I've been looking at the world through a flexible sigmoidoscope.
There's so much more to medicine than that.
You know, Phil, while you were gone today You see, this could be a hallucinatory episode, or some form of metempsychosis.
You know, if I can help this young man get over this crisis There was something in the house today, Phil.
What? Some kind of animal.
It was eating and gnawing and A rat? It took the arborio rice.
You're kidding.
It took our risotto? Maybe we should get a gun.
What? Just a small one.
What do they call it? A.
22.
Michelle, you wouldn't let me get a gun in Santa Monica after they ripped off our car phone for the third time.
You're right.
Okay.
You're right.
Hey.
Hey, relax.
This is going to take some getting used to.
It's amazing, isn't it? All this life.
Well, too much, maybe.
Well, not too much, just lots.
Give yourself some time.
Yeah.
Listen.
You hear that? Hmm? That's something we never heard in Los Angeles.
Silence.
Is that something? Rick, Adrian? Fraters.
No idea.
Oh, Roger? Bring me a see-through, would you, please? Do you want one? See-through? Bombay gin on the rocks.
Yeah, that'll be fine.
And a couple of cigars, please.
Romeo and Juliettas, Churchill.
Oh, somebody I want you to meet, Holling.
Good evening, frater.
Frater.
Frater.
Larry, I'd like you to meet my guest, Holling Vincoeur.
Holling, this is Senator Monkton.
He's our guest speaker.
Please, Larry.
It's an honor, sir.
Hey, you see that? I mean, some guys still respect their politicians.
Not that you deserve any.
Ah, don't listen to them, Holling.
Listen, you can stop by my office anytime.
Thank you, sir.
I will.
Yeah.
So when are we going up in that T-38, Minnifield? You name the date, Senator.
Right.
Sorry SOB's been promising to take me up for years.
Yeah, me, too.
Let me show you the Wall of Honors, Holling.
It was a Sitka deer.
Herb Goodrich got him with a clean shot through the lungs.
Went 10 yards and dropped.
Very impressive.
Bill Daily bagged this beauty.
Barged into his tent, didn't have time to use his rifle.
Had to beat him to death with an entrenching tool.
Of course, Bill can't use the left side of his face anymore.
Took 89 stitches.
Does every member have to bag a trophy to get in? Has to be a mammal over 300 pounds.
No whales, no roadkill.
I chair the committee.
Quite an honor.
Order of the sedge.
Only 12 of us in the entire club.
My Latin is a little rusty.
Glacies fragenda est.
Something about breaking ice? Around here it means, "Make mine a double.
" Waiter! Your shot, buddy.
Ed? Sorry, Chris.
You just shot the eight ball.
You guys through? Your table, Hayden.
Rack them up, boys.
At first I just thought it was weird, you know? A bunch of guys wanting to get faced without babes.
But now, I'm PO'd.
It just doesn't sound like Fleischman.
Living in a remote fishing village.
Hunting caribou.
Sons of the Tundra.
Big wow.
I hope he's okay.
I'm sure he's okay.
I mean, he's a mature person, right? Kind of? Huh? Fleischman.
Oh.
Oh.
I mean, he just wouldn't flip out 'cause I called it quits, would he? I mean, he knew things weren't working out.
Men just think about themselves.
Maybe it was a little abrupt.
I don't know, maybe the end was a shock.
But what was I supposed to do? Just let it drag on? I refuse to feel guilty about this.
I mean, I gave it my best.
Really.
Mostly.
I mean, if he wants to go play Davy Crockett, that's his business.
Why should men have all the fun, anyway? What about us? I don't know, maybe it's healthy.
Maybe he's working things out.
Yeah.
But skinning bears? Fleischman? Chris, if you had the power to go back and change the future, would you? I mean, okay, just say you could go up to Bruce Willis and say, "Don't make Hudson Hawk, " would you do that? You'd be messing with the space-time continuum.
Ed, you pull one string, you never know, the whole crazy quilt might unravel.
Yeah.
The prime directive from Starfleet Command, "Do not change history.
" Juicy Fruit? Sure.
Oh, my.
Ed, are you okay? My foot.
I'm sorry, it was an accident.
I know, Hayden.
Oh, just get me some ice.
Dr.
Capra says ice.
EzekieI saw the wheeI Way up in the middle of the air EzekieI saw the wheeI Way in the middle of the air That little wheeI run by faith And the big wheeI run by the grace of God There's a wheeI in a wheeI, in a wheeI, in a wheeI Way in the middle of the air You know, I've always admired your little operation, Holling.
Why, thank you, Gil.
Tell me, what's your throughput on one of those "all you can eat" spaghetti nights? A hundred, 120 dinners? We average 190.
No kidding? Lloyd Hillegas and I are looking for a partner to help run our Davy Jones' Locker seafood franchise.
Do you want in? Are you kidding? I'd love it.
Let's have lunch, the three of us, and work out the details.
Good talking to you, frater.
Same here.
and he looks at him like he's crazy.
So the one Athabaskan turns to the other and says, "Don't tell him, he's Tlingit!" Oh, no, no, stop! Stop! Phil? Yeah.
I thought you'd be asleep.
Oh, this stupid computer.
What? I was working on my gift shop piece when the whole screen turned to hash.
I turned it off, lost two pages, and now it just happened again.
It's probably that problem with the electrical grid that Maggie was talking about.
Oh, it's so frustrating.
So how was the dinner? Weird.
Almost surreal.
I got stuck with this trapper.
Walt? You know him? We've met.
He doesn't strike me as a joiner.
Well, he's a gray eminence over there.
You're kidding.
What's that? It's my contract.
What do you think? Why? You getting cold feet? Are you? We don't want to go back to Los Angeles, do we? I mean, we hate Los Angeles, right? Yeah, I do.
Except for my friends.
And Neiman's.
What's it for, a year? Two.
With a third year option.
So what are we talking about? Right.
We wanted an adventure, right? And we got one.
Does it bother you just a little bit that the best security system in the city is for a guy that's already dead? Is that a problem with anybody? Hey, what about the solemn pledge, huh? What happened there? Hey, what, do you forget the solemn pledge Hey, Shelly? Guess who I met tonight.
You're in the way, Holling.
Senator Monkton.
And he told me to call him Larry.
What is that disgusting smell? Is that a cigar? Yeah, I suppose so.
Oh, get those clothes out of here, Holling.
Sorry.
I had the greatest time.
Gil Le Fleur wants to make me a partner with Lloyd Hillegas, and I sang with a barbershop quartet.
You should have been there.
Right, I should have, but I couldn't, could I? Nope.
Those without a johnny need not apply.
What I meant was I can deal with it, Holling, but what about Randi? What about your own daughter who's sleeping innocently in there in her crib? Is it her fault she was born a girl? How would you feel if someone said Randi couldn't go someplace just because she doesn't have the right plumbing? Well, I guess that would all depend on the circumstances.
Forget it, Holling.
Truth is, I never really thought about it before, Shelly.
Duh, hey, now.
I guess I'll take a shower.
Fine.
The x-rays are negative, Ed.
No broken bones.
That is a major league contusion, so I want you to stay off of it for the next couple of days, okay? And use the cane.
Okay.
Oh, and icing it really helped, Dr.
Capra.
Yeah, well, I would have felt better if you'd avoided the whole thing, Ed.
I couldn't have done that.
The responsibility was too great to the future.
Ed.
I think what we're dealing with here is a case of self-fulfilling prophecy.
You know, you're right! That's exactly what it is.
That's a great name for it.
No, what I mean is that, you see, you thought something was going to happen.
So your subconscious made it happen.
Oh.
This accident was not inevitable, Ed.
You fabricated the event.
Huh.
You understand? Oh, sure.
Can I ask you a question, Dr.
Capra? Absolutely.
Okay.
Why do you think it is I can only see a few time zones ahead? I mean, why not in a week? Or a month? I mean, I have all these important questions I'd like to ask, like, "Is Yeltsin going to make it?" And, "Will grunge last?" Let me try and explain this to you again, Ed.
Oh, that's okay, Dr.
Capra.
Thanks anyway.
Oh, Dr.
Capra.
Leo's Auto Shop, they do excellent bodywork.
Leo's? Yep.
They repaired Ruth-Anne's front fender last year.
You cannot even tell the difference.
Thanks, Ed.
I'll keep that on file.
Come on, boy! Hey, watch out! Hey! Gentlemen, I think we can waive the hunting provision in Holling's case.
We all know what a marksman he was before he traded his Winchester in for a Nikon.
I noticed you've left the college section blank, Holling.
I attended the school of hard knocks.
I did get my high school equivalency degree a couple of years ago.
Holling, you're aware that the Sons of the Tundra are involved with a number of charitable projects? Yes, sir.
I'm fully prepared to meet my financial burdens.
Good.
It's all deductible, anyway, right? This is a private club, Holling.
No write-offs.
What Lester is saying, Holling, the only way we can keep Uncle Sam out of our hair legally is to make sure everything is paid for privately.
That means no business checks, no write-offs.
Is that going to be a problem? No, no.
Good.
Hey, Holling, let me give you a hand.
Oh, thank you very much, Chris.
Oh, buddy, she's gonna break some hearts one day.
Yeah, yeah, she's something.
Let me ask you something, Chris.
Yeah.
You think it's wrong of me to join the Sons of the Tundra? Wrong? That's a relative question, Holling.
I mean, ethically, fiscally, morally? Well, Shelly thinks it's wrong.
Seeing as how they don't allow women.
Well, that's a good point.
I mean, clearly, there's discrimination there, you know.
Overtones of misogyny.
But it could be worse, you know.
If she were born in certain parts of India or China, she might have been thrown out with the trash.
You're joking.
Uh-uh, they want little baby boys there, Holling.
Thrown out? You know, being shut out of the Sons of the Tundra might give her a little complex one day, but that's small potatoes compared to infanticide, you know.
Still, I don't want to give her a complex.
Well, she's going to get one whether you join or not.
She is? Yeah, look.
When she raises her hand the same time as little Jimmy, who do you think the teacher is going to call on How many Fortune 500 CEOs do you see that are women? Just hardwired into our culture.
Yeah.
It's not your fault, not mine.
You know, you want to hang out with the big boys and get stewed, light cigars with five-dollar bills, I say go for it, Holling.
Chris, did you ever want to join? Me? Nah.
I got all that male bonding stuff out of my system in the joint.
I've always had that Groucho Marx line working for me.
You know, "Wouldn't want to join any club "that would have me as a member.
" Mrs.
Capra? What? Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm Ed.
Ed.
I'm here to see Dr.
Capra.
Oh, Ed.
Phil's told me about you.
Is he around? No, no, he isn't, Ed.
Forgive me.
There was an animal in the house.
That's okay.
I don't believe it.
My computer key, it's missing.
What's that? How am I going to turn my computer on without the key? I've got a deadline.
Sounds like a raccoon.
What? Yeah, they like real shiny objects.
They do? It's a thing with them.
Here you go, Eugene.
Thanks, Earl.
What is it, Eugene? Sons of the Tundra.
Do you mind? Sure.
Do you really think we can find it? Oh, yeah, maybe.
I'm not as good a tracker as my Uncle Anku, but I'm pretty good, Mrs.
Capra.
My God.
A week ago, I was at Starbucks having a decaf latte with friends, and now I'm on the trail of a larcenous rodent.
They're carnivores, actually.
What? Raccoons.
You called it a rodent, but technically, it's a carnivore.
Oh.
Yeah, raccoons, rodents.
They're both mammals, though.
Do you know a rodent's teeth never stop growing? I didn't realize that.
Yeah.
If they're not gnawing on stuff to wear them down all the time, their incisors will grow right up through their skull and kill them.
Really? Yeah.
Nature can be funny sometimes.
Okay, here we go.
What? See, raccoons are very clean, Mrs.
Capra.
They like to wash everything.
Bingo! My Sundance bottle opener.
Tricky raccoon.
Do you see my key? Does it have a silver ring around it? Yes, you found it! He must have dropped it or something.
Looks pretty deep.
I'll go get it.
No, I'll go.
You sure? I don't mind.
No, you have a bad foot, Ed.
I don't mind.
Besides, it's my key.
I'll get it.
Okay.
Here goes.
Is it cold? Kind of, yeah.
That's all runoff.
That was snow a few hours ago.
Oh.
A few more feet.
You're right on top of it.
Oh, great.
I can't reach it.
All right! Why, Maurice? Just tell me why.
I'm sorry, Holling.
Was it money? Education? Holling, you know I can't discuss this.
It's against club rules.
I will tell you that it only takes one vote to blackball.
That's the way it is.
It was McAllister, wasn't it? His wife has never forgiven me for that rib dinner.
I told her how to get the barbecue stain out of the silk without ruining it.
I even offered to buy her a blouse.
I know Tanya, she just loves to hold a grudge.
Okay, if that's the way you want to play it.
Holling, it wasn't McAllister.
Who was it, then? I've said too much already.
If this gets out, it means my immediate expulsion without an appeal.
Maurice, you know I would never do anything to jeopardize your standing with the club.
It was Lester.
Lester? He's got a thing about Huguenots.
Huguenots? You're telling me just because my great-great-granddaddy was a French Protestant You can't get into a man's head, Holling.
Thank you, Maurice.
Oh, man.
What happened to you? What happened to the car? Ed? Could I talk to you for a minute? Sure, Dr.
Capra.
I'm freezing, I'm going inside.
Did you see this happening? I mean, that suggestion about Leo's Auto Shop.
Did you actually see the truck coming around the corner and the beer keg breaking free? So that's what it was.
I wasn't sure if it was that, or maybe a 55-gallon drum full of heating oil.
But you really saw it hit my car? Uh-huh, that's what I came to talk to you about, Dr.
Capra.
See, I'm not having them anymore.
They're gone.
I think 'cause the fish has left my system.
I took a nap this afternoon, and when I woke up, I just knew it.
No more visions.
That raven's a real trickster.
I talked to Leonard, he's my shaman instructor.
He says that the whole experience has been a very positive stage in my spiritual development.
He's very encouraged.
Good, good.
That's very good, Ed.
Excuse me.
Sure, Dr.
Capra.
Phil? I'm going to go lie down a while.
Hey, Shelly.
You know, we've been talking about expanding the business for a long time.
We could serve half the borough with this baby.
Awesome.
Yeah.
I had my eye on this crate for some time.
Finally got Dave Larwood to talk sense, and here we are.
How much? Five-fifty.
But don't worry about the money.
I'm not going to be spending anything on Sons of the Tundra.
They rejected me, Shelly.
Huh? One vote.
They can bite me.
It's okay.
I'd never want to join a club that would have me as a member, anyway.
Did you make that up? Yep.
Hey, ladies, how about a little spin? Okay, want to go for a ride? Say "yeah.
"
Hey there, Cicely.
Chris in the Morning with a big KBHR hello going out to Dr.
Phillip Capra and his wife, Michelle, somewhere on the road between Sleetmute and here.
Do you hear that? As of today, Cicely is back in the primary healthcare game.
Doc Capra comes to us by way of LA, where we understand his group practice recently went belly-up.
Where'd he get that? We dissolved the partnership.
Our new medicine man is a graduate of Washington University in St.
Louis and UCLA med schooI.
He speaks French, enjoys biking.
Bienvenue á Cicely, guys.
Is that great? Of course, he could have said a little more about you.
I sent along your résumé, you know.
It doesn't matter.
He could have said, "His lovely wife, Michelle, is a professional journalist "who's been published in United Airlines' Hemispheres "and other publications.
" Phil, it was a half-page sidebar on sunscreens.
It was very well-written.
Phil, look out! It's a moose.
Yes, it is.
Working for the man every night and day But I never lost a minute of sleep Worrying about the way things might have been Big wheels keep on turning Proud Mary keeps on burning Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling Rolling, rolling, rolling, rolling Rolling on the river I see Lowell Grippo's got his Green Mountain property up for sale.
No good? Come spring runoff, a fellow has to wear hip waders to get in there.
Thanks.
Say, how's that little girl of yours doing? Just getting over a cold, I'm afraid.
You know how kids are at this age.
Oh, excuse me, Holling.
Fraters.
Frater.
Frater.
How's the Bordeaux coming? Now, I am having a lot of trouble locating that Chateau Meyney you wanted.
Well, you'd better get on it, because the Sons of the Tundra dinner is Oh, by the way, I've invited the new doctor to the dinner tomorrow night.
I hope that meets with the board approval.
He's here already? May well be.
What's his name? Capra? Yeah, like the director.
Have you checked him out, Maurice? Yes, Lester.
UCLA medical school.
Board certified in internal medicine, gastroenterology.
And, unlike some New Yorkers I could name, he wants to be here.
Practically took the job over the phone.
But we're not offering him a membership, right? No, no, no, just making him feel welcome, that's all.
Afternoon, gents.
Hey.
Sons of the Tundra business? How about a pitcher and some nachos, and an iced tea for me, Holling? Sure.
Who's going to be your guest speaker this year at the Seward dinner? Well, we're still working that out.
Say, have you heard about Joe Cutler's ketch? Oh, you mean the 75-footer he's having built in San Diego? Yeah, I understand that he doesn't have the scratch to finish it.
The hell you say.
Thank you, Ruth-Anne.
Okay, Walt.
Oh, I'm sorry, Walt.
My fault.
Wow! Nice flamingo.
Isn't she a beauty? Been a while since I've done any landscaping.
Ed, would you give me a hand with these tire chains? Yep.
I'll get it.
Are you all right? Fine.
Hello? Rudy! You're kidding.
Rudy's coming up for Thanksgiving.
Great.
See that, honey? They got my name out here already.
Marilyn? Good morning.
I'm Phil Capra.
Hi.
This is my wife, Michelle.
Hello.
Hi.
So, this is it, huh? Uh-huh.
It's quite charming, in its own way.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
It's very sui generis.
Dr.
Capra! Maurice Minnifield.
Oh, Maurice.
I saw the car drive up, so I thought Oh, Michelle? Hi.
Well, Phil, you didn't tell me what a beauty she is.
You've been holding out on me.
You don't mind if I call you Phil, do you? No, of course not.
Oh, good, okay.
You didn't have any trouble on the way up, did you? No, no.
Although we did encounter a moose, actually.
Oh, good, good.
Well, how do you like our little gem? It's fabulous.
It's kind of like stepping back in time.
This is the America we've been looking for.
And no zoning laws.
You know, Phil, I was thinking that, given your background, we could make Cicely the endoscopy capital of the Alaska Riviera.
You know, sort of a resort destination for the colo-rectal crowd.
You check in, get a colonoscopy, do a little fly fishing.
Great idea.
Maurice, you mentioned on the phone that you owned a newspaper.
Michelle is a journalist.
Oh, is that a fact? How would you like your own column in the Cicely News & World Telegram? Are you serious? Well, yeah.
I've got a piece to finish up on museum gift shops for Southwest, but I Well, anytime you're ready.
In the meantime, please accept this token of my appreciation.
Well, thank you very much.
Welcome to Cicely.
Thank you, Ruth-Anne.
Okay, Walt.
I'm sorry, Walt.
My fault.
Nice flamingo.
Isn't she a beauty? Been a while since I've done any landscaping.
Ed, would you give me a hand with these tire chains? Yes, ma'am.
I'll get it.
Watch out for the water bo Thanks, anyway.
You all right? I'm fine.
Say hi to Rudy.
Hello? Rudy! You're kidding.
Rudy's coming up for Thanksgiving.
Great.
What about Mexican shrimp, Is it good? Okay.
Send me 80 pounds.
Right, okay.
Hello, Holling.
That's a lot of fruits de mer.
Well, what can I do for you? Well, Maurice, did I imagine it, or some years ago, did you invite me to join the Sons of the Tundra? You a member of the club? Well, that's an interesting concept.
I seem to recall a conversation.
I'm total blank.
At the time, if it did happen, I'm sure I wasn't interested, but times change, a man's economic circumstances I guess what I'm trying to say is, Maurice, that should the same opportunity arise today, I'd venture to say that my response would be different.
You realize that the initiation fee is $2,000.
I can manage that.
Yeah.
Well, I'll bring it up to the membership committee.
That is, if and when we have an opening.
You know, we've been full for years.
I thought Alex Hargrave's boy just got in.
That's a legacy.
That was automatic.
What about Jack Foster? Holling, as I recall, Jack was inducted as a non-resident.
He lives in Talkeetna.
That's special circumstances.
I see.
Sorry I can't help you.
I've got some mulligan stew on the stove, I'll Thank you for your time, Maurice.
Holling.
What was I thinking of? You know, Will Furman disappeared in that blizzard last year.
He's been gone for six months now.
I think we can call his membership "inactive.
" Why don't you come as my guest to the Seward dinner tomorrow night, and we'll talk about it, kick it around the membership committee? Tomorrow? Well, I'd have to move a few things around.
Cocktails at 7:00.
I can make it.
Thank you.
Kind of nice to see something other than a wolf range, huh, Phil? It's It's fine in the short term.
We're planning to build.
Oh, nice.
Oh, you know, we've been having a little problem with the grid this side of town.
Oh.
Well, some new curtains, recover the couch.
What's that smell? Oh, yeah, sure, absolutely.
I mean, Fleischman Dr.
Fleischman certainly never did anything with it.
Needs a little clean-up job over here, huh? Oh! Oh, God.
Fleischman's Sunday New York Times.
You know, I kept telling him to recycle.
What exactly happened to Dr.
Fleischman, anyway? Mr.
Minnifield wasn't clear.
Well, he went back to New York, right? Well, no, no, not exactly.
He just sort of took a sabbatical.
You mean, he's coming back? No, I don't think so.
He's just out there.
Upriver.
Oh.
Did you know him well? Pretty well.
Sort of, in a way.
Well, what did you think? Honey? I like it.
There's really nothing else on the market? No, not this nice.
Well, we'll take it.
What do you think, Randi? Too much skin? Mercy.
Later, H.
I got to pick out accessories.
Accessories for what? For the Seward dinner, silly.
You didn't give me much warning.
Shelly? Yeah, babe? The Seward dinner is what they call a stag affair.
What? It's for men only.
You mean, I'm not invited? Well, no women are.
The Sons of the Tundra is a men's club, honey.
So? So everything they do is for men only.
Except for the Santa brunch, you know, where they distribute toys.
So you get all GQ'd out just to hang out with other guys? Basically.
Yeah.
Oh.
My joining is mainly a business thing.
I'll make a lot of contacts, move in different circles.
It's what they call networking.
Oh, yeah, no biggie.
Look at Mommy's pretty girl.
Do you like your hat? Hello? Who's there? Is this yours? My arborio rice.
Found it back there.
Thanks.
I'm Michelle Schowdoski Capra.
Walt Kupfer.
Nice to meet you.
How did my rice Mole, probably.
It could have been a marmot.
Inside the house? Inside, underneath.
Word to the wise: Steel wool in all cracks and crevices.
Thanks.
I'd ask you in for coffee, but we're still unpacking.
Oh, that's okay.
Got to get the viscera out of these puppies before they rot.
Have a good one.
You, too.
Marilyn? I thought we might go over office procedure.
Please.
You've worked here a long time, Marilyn, and I would like to defer to that experience.
So is there any procedure that you would like to see changed or any piece of new equipment we might need? Toaster oven.
Toaster oven? Mmm-hmm.
Okay.
Let's talk about billing.
Okay.
Are we online with Medicare? You know, by computer? We don't have a computer.
Do we bill insurance companies directly? Sometimes.
Sometimes, meaning? When Dr.
Fleischman told me to.
Okay, thanks, Marilyn.
That about covers it.
Okay.
Dr.
Capra.
Wh Hi, I'm Ed.
Ed.
Uh Well, what can I do for you, Ed? Well, why I'm here is, I was wondering, how do you go about treating a broken foot? Ouch.
Where's the break? Actually, see, it might not be broken.
It could just be a bad bruise.
Well, why don't we just take a look at it? It hasn't happened yet.
What? No, see, not till tonight.
That's when Hayden Keyes is going to step on it.
Uh, I don't understand.
Are you two guys having a fight or something? Nothing like that.
But it will be an accident.
Hayden's a pretty big boy.
You lost me.
If it's going to be an accident, how do you know it's going to happen? Why, I saw it.
In the future.
You can see the future? Well, just since yesterday.
See, I ate this trout, only it wasn't really a trout.
What was it? Well, you know.
No, no, no, I don't, really.
Y'eil.
Y'eil? A raven.
Boy, can he be a shape-changer.
I guess I should have known at the time, you know, with the way he was staring up at me and all.
But I was really hungry and I'd already cooked the almond slivers, so You ate him.
Anyway, so, Dr.
Capra, I always forget.
Do you heat it or put ice on it? Joel? Holling.
Ed told me you had a new beard.
So how's it going up there? You getting enough company? This is a beautiful blade you got here.
Kenai Toothpick.
Long radius, good heft.
Joel, is there something I can do for you? Holling, here's the thing.
I need a new skinning knife.
I broke the last one off on this black-tailed buck.
You know, pelvic bone.
I see.
And since you're not hunting anymore, I thought maybe we could make a trade, so I brought some beaver.
Might make a good wrap for the baby.
It's good quality, it'd be warm.
That's a handsome pelt, Joel.
Yeah, well, a Kenai Toothpick's worth more, huh? You're right.
Bone handle, Solingen steel.
All right, we got I got some red fox and some sable, how about that, a deal? Well, yeah.
All right.
I appreciate it.
I got some caribou in the smokehouse, I'll send some down for you, okay? Can I deliver any messages for you? Just send everyone my best, and you can tell them I'm always available for consultation.
You know, Maurice has got a new doctor.
I think that's appropriate, right? I'd like to meet him sometime.
See you.
I was going to laugh, but I could see that he was dead serious.
He actually believes this trout was some sort of spirit figure that's given him the power to see the future.
You know, Phil First he experiences an event as a vision, then it happens for real.
We're talking about a full-blown delusional fantasy.
This is not just another biliary tract procedure, honey.
This is why I got into medicine in the first place.
Uh-huh.
For five years, I've been looking at the world through a flexible sigmoidoscope.
There's so much more to medicine than that.
You know, Phil, while you were gone today You see, this could be a hallucinatory episode, or some form of metempsychosis.
You know, if I can help this young man get over this crisis There was something in the house today, Phil.
What? Some kind of animal.
It was eating and gnawing and A rat? It took the arborio rice.
You're kidding.
It took our risotto? Maybe we should get a gun.
What? Just a small one.
What do they call it? A.
22.
Michelle, you wouldn't let me get a gun in Santa Monica after they ripped off our car phone for the third time.
You're right.
Okay.
You're right.
Hey.
Hey, relax.
This is going to take some getting used to.
It's amazing, isn't it? All this life.
Well, too much, maybe.
Well, not too much, just lots.
Give yourself some time.
Yeah.
Listen.
You hear that? Hmm? That's something we never heard in Los Angeles.
Silence.
Is that something? Rick, Adrian? Fraters.
No idea.
Oh, Roger? Bring me a see-through, would you, please? Do you want one? See-through? Bombay gin on the rocks.
Yeah, that'll be fine.
And a couple of cigars, please.
Romeo and Juliettas, Churchill.
Oh, somebody I want you to meet, Holling.
Good evening, frater.
Frater.
Frater.
Larry, I'd like you to meet my guest, Holling Vincoeur.
Holling, this is Senator Monkton.
He's our guest speaker.
Please, Larry.
It's an honor, sir.
Hey, you see that? I mean, some guys still respect their politicians.
Not that you deserve any.
Ah, don't listen to them, Holling.
Listen, you can stop by my office anytime.
Thank you, sir.
I will.
Yeah.
So when are we going up in that T-38, Minnifield? You name the date, Senator.
Right.
Sorry SOB's been promising to take me up for years.
Yeah, me, too.
Let me show you the Wall of Honors, Holling.
It was a Sitka deer.
Herb Goodrich got him with a clean shot through the lungs.
Went 10 yards and dropped.
Very impressive.
Bill Daily bagged this beauty.
Barged into his tent, didn't have time to use his rifle.
Had to beat him to death with an entrenching tool.
Of course, Bill can't use the left side of his face anymore.
Took 89 stitches.
Does every member have to bag a trophy to get in? Has to be a mammal over 300 pounds.
No whales, no roadkill.
I chair the committee.
Quite an honor.
Order of the sedge.
Only 12 of us in the entire club.
My Latin is a little rusty.
Glacies fragenda est.
Something about breaking ice? Around here it means, "Make mine a double.
" Waiter! Your shot, buddy.
Ed? Sorry, Chris.
You just shot the eight ball.
You guys through? Your table, Hayden.
Rack them up, boys.
At first I just thought it was weird, you know? A bunch of guys wanting to get faced without babes.
But now, I'm PO'd.
It just doesn't sound like Fleischman.
Living in a remote fishing village.
Hunting caribou.
Sons of the Tundra.
Big wow.
I hope he's okay.
I'm sure he's okay.
I mean, he's a mature person, right? Kind of? Huh? Fleischman.
Oh.
Oh.
I mean, he just wouldn't flip out 'cause I called it quits, would he? I mean, he knew things weren't working out.
Men just think about themselves.
Maybe it was a little abrupt.
I don't know, maybe the end was a shock.
But what was I supposed to do? Just let it drag on? I refuse to feel guilty about this.
I mean, I gave it my best.
Really.
Mostly.
I mean, if he wants to go play Davy Crockett, that's his business.
Why should men have all the fun, anyway? What about us? I don't know, maybe it's healthy.
Maybe he's working things out.
Yeah.
But skinning bears? Fleischman? Chris, if you had the power to go back and change the future, would you? I mean, okay, just say you could go up to Bruce Willis and say, "Don't make Hudson Hawk, " would you do that? You'd be messing with the space-time continuum.
Ed, you pull one string, you never know, the whole crazy quilt might unravel.
Yeah.
The prime directive from Starfleet Command, "Do not change history.
" Juicy Fruit? Sure.
Oh, my.
Ed, are you okay? My foot.
I'm sorry, it was an accident.
I know, Hayden.
Oh, just get me some ice.
Dr.
Capra says ice.
EzekieI saw the wheeI Way up in the middle of the air EzekieI saw the wheeI Way in the middle of the air That little wheeI run by faith And the big wheeI run by the grace of God There's a wheeI in a wheeI, in a wheeI, in a wheeI Way in the middle of the air You know, I've always admired your little operation, Holling.
Why, thank you, Gil.
Tell me, what's your throughput on one of those "all you can eat" spaghetti nights? A hundred, 120 dinners? We average 190.
No kidding? Lloyd Hillegas and I are looking for a partner to help run our Davy Jones' Locker seafood franchise.
Do you want in? Are you kidding? I'd love it.
Let's have lunch, the three of us, and work out the details.
Good talking to you, frater.
Same here.
and he looks at him like he's crazy.
So the one Athabaskan turns to the other and says, "Don't tell him, he's Tlingit!" Oh, no, no, stop! Stop! Phil? Yeah.
I thought you'd be asleep.
Oh, this stupid computer.
What? I was working on my gift shop piece when the whole screen turned to hash.
I turned it off, lost two pages, and now it just happened again.
It's probably that problem with the electrical grid that Maggie was talking about.
Oh, it's so frustrating.
So how was the dinner? Weird.
Almost surreal.
I got stuck with this trapper.
Walt? You know him? We've met.
He doesn't strike me as a joiner.
Well, he's a gray eminence over there.
You're kidding.
What's that? It's my contract.
What do you think? Why? You getting cold feet? Are you? We don't want to go back to Los Angeles, do we? I mean, we hate Los Angeles, right? Yeah, I do.
Except for my friends.
And Neiman's.
What's it for, a year? Two.
With a third year option.
So what are we talking about? Right.
We wanted an adventure, right? And we got one.
Does it bother you just a little bit that the best security system in the city is for a guy that's already dead? Is that a problem with anybody? Hey, what about the solemn pledge, huh? What happened there? Hey, what, do you forget the solemn pledge Hey, Shelly? Guess who I met tonight.
You're in the way, Holling.
Senator Monkton.
And he told me to call him Larry.
What is that disgusting smell? Is that a cigar? Yeah, I suppose so.
Oh, get those clothes out of here, Holling.
Sorry.
I had the greatest time.
Gil Le Fleur wants to make me a partner with Lloyd Hillegas, and I sang with a barbershop quartet.
You should have been there.
Right, I should have, but I couldn't, could I? Nope.
Those without a johnny need not apply.
What I meant was I can deal with it, Holling, but what about Randi? What about your own daughter who's sleeping innocently in there in her crib? Is it her fault she was born a girl? How would you feel if someone said Randi couldn't go someplace just because she doesn't have the right plumbing? Well, I guess that would all depend on the circumstances.
Forget it, Holling.
Truth is, I never really thought about it before, Shelly.
Duh, hey, now.
I guess I'll take a shower.
Fine.
The x-rays are negative, Ed.
No broken bones.
That is a major league contusion, so I want you to stay off of it for the next couple of days, okay? And use the cane.
Okay.
Oh, and icing it really helped, Dr.
Capra.
Yeah, well, I would have felt better if you'd avoided the whole thing, Ed.
I couldn't have done that.
The responsibility was too great to the future.
Ed.
I think what we're dealing with here is a case of self-fulfilling prophecy.
You know, you're right! That's exactly what it is.
That's a great name for it.
No, what I mean is that, you see, you thought something was going to happen.
So your subconscious made it happen.
Oh.
This accident was not inevitable, Ed.
You fabricated the event.
Huh.
You understand? Oh, sure.
Can I ask you a question, Dr.
Capra? Absolutely.
Okay.
Why do you think it is I can only see a few time zones ahead? I mean, why not in a week? Or a month? I mean, I have all these important questions I'd like to ask, like, "Is Yeltsin going to make it?" And, "Will grunge last?" Let me try and explain this to you again, Ed.
Oh, that's okay, Dr.
Capra.
Thanks anyway.
Oh, Dr.
Capra.
Leo's Auto Shop, they do excellent bodywork.
Leo's? Yep.
They repaired Ruth-Anne's front fender last year.
You cannot even tell the difference.
Thanks, Ed.
I'll keep that on file.
Come on, boy! Hey, watch out! Hey! Gentlemen, I think we can waive the hunting provision in Holling's case.
We all know what a marksman he was before he traded his Winchester in for a Nikon.
I noticed you've left the college section blank, Holling.
I attended the school of hard knocks.
I did get my high school equivalency degree a couple of years ago.
Holling, you're aware that the Sons of the Tundra are involved with a number of charitable projects? Yes, sir.
I'm fully prepared to meet my financial burdens.
Good.
It's all deductible, anyway, right? This is a private club, Holling.
No write-offs.
What Lester is saying, Holling, the only way we can keep Uncle Sam out of our hair legally is to make sure everything is paid for privately.
That means no business checks, no write-offs.
Is that going to be a problem? No, no.
Good.
Hey, Holling, let me give you a hand.
Oh, thank you very much, Chris.
Oh, buddy, she's gonna break some hearts one day.
Yeah, yeah, she's something.
Let me ask you something, Chris.
Yeah.
You think it's wrong of me to join the Sons of the Tundra? Wrong? That's a relative question, Holling.
I mean, ethically, fiscally, morally? Well, Shelly thinks it's wrong.
Seeing as how they don't allow women.
Well, that's a good point.
I mean, clearly, there's discrimination there, you know.
Overtones of misogyny.
But it could be worse, you know.
If she were born in certain parts of India or China, she might have been thrown out with the trash.
You're joking.
Uh-uh, they want little baby boys there, Holling.
Thrown out? You know, being shut out of the Sons of the Tundra might give her a little complex one day, but that's small potatoes compared to infanticide, you know.
Still, I don't want to give her a complex.
Well, she's going to get one whether you join or not.
She is? Yeah, look.
When she raises her hand the same time as little Jimmy, who do you think the teacher is going to call on How many Fortune 500 CEOs do you see that are women? Just hardwired into our culture.
Yeah.
It's not your fault, not mine.
You know, you want to hang out with the big boys and get stewed, light cigars with five-dollar bills, I say go for it, Holling.
Chris, did you ever want to join? Me? Nah.
I got all that male bonding stuff out of my system in the joint.
I've always had that Groucho Marx line working for me.
You know, "Wouldn't want to join any club "that would have me as a member.
" Mrs.
Capra? What? Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm Ed.
Ed.
I'm here to see Dr.
Capra.
Oh, Ed.
Phil's told me about you.
Is he around? No, no, he isn't, Ed.
Forgive me.
There was an animal in the house.
That's okay.
I don't believe it.
My computer key, it's missing.
What's that? How am I going to turn my computer on without the key? I've got a deadline.
Sounds like a raccoon.
What? Yeah, they like real shiny objects.
They do? It's a thing with them.
Here you go, Eugene.
Thanks, Earl.
What is it, Eugene? Sons of the Tundra.
Do you mind? Sure.
Do you really think we can find it? Oh, yeah, maybe.
I'm not as good a tracker as my Uncle Anku, but I'm pretty good, Mrs.
Capra.
My God.
A week ago, I was at Starbucks having a decaf latte with friends, and now I'm on the trail of a larcenous rodent.
They're carnivores, actually.
What? Raccoons.
You called it a rodent, but technically, it's a carnivore.
Oh.
Yeah, raccoons, rodents.
They're both mammals, though.
Do you know a rodent's teeth never stop growing? I didn't realize that.
Yeah.
If they're not gnawing on stuff to wear them down all the time, their incisors will grow right up through their skull and kill them.
Really? Yeah.
Nature can be funny sometimes.
Okay, here we go.
What? See, raccoons are very clean, Mrs.
Capra.
They like to wash everything.
Bingo! My Sundance bottle opener.
Tricky raccoon.
Do you see my key? Does it have a silver ring around it? Yes, you found it! He must have dropped it or something.
Looks pretty deep.
I'll go get it.
No, I'll go.
You sure? I don't mind.
No, you have a bad foot, Ed.
I don't mind.
Besides, it's my key.
I'll get it.
Okay.
Here goes.
Is it cold? Kind of, yeah.
That's all runoff.
That was snow a few hours ago.
Oh.
A few more feet.
You're right on top of it.
Oh, great.
I can't reach it.
All right! Why, Maurice? Just tell me why.
I'm sorry, Holling.
Was it money? Education? Holling, you know I can't discuss this.
It's against club rules.
I will tell you that it only takes one vote to blackball.
That's the way it is.
It was McAllister, wasn't it? His wife has never forgiven me for that rib dinner.
I told her how to get the barbecue stain out of the silk without ruining it.
I even offered to buy her a blouse.
I know Tanya, she just loves to hold a grudge.
Okay, if that's the way you want to play it.
Holling, it wasn't McAllister.
Who was it, then? I've said too much already.
If this gets out, it means my immediate expulsion without an appeal.
Maurice, you know I would never do anything to jeopardize your standing with the club.
It was Lester.
Lester? He's got a thing about Huguenots.
Huguenots? You're telling me just because my great-great-granddaddy was a French Protestant You can't get into a man's head, Holling.
Thank you, Maurice.
Oh, man.
What happened to you? What happened to the car? Ed? Could I talk to you for a minute? Sure, Dr.
Capra.
I'm freezing, I'm going inside.
Did you see this happening? I mean, that suggestion about Leo's Auto Shop.
Did you actually see the truck coming around the corner and the beer keg breaking free? So that's what it was.
I wasn't sure if it was that, or maybe a 55-gallon drum full of heating oil.
But you really saw it hit my car? Uh-huh, that's what I came to talk to you about, Dr.
Capra.
See, I'm not having them anymore.
They're gone.
I think 'cause the fish has left my system.
I took a nap this afternoon, and when I woke up, I just knew it.
No more visions.
That raven's a real trickster.
I talked to Leonard, he's my shaman instructor.
He says that the whole experience has been a very positive stage in my spiritual development.
He's very encouraged.
Good, good.
That's very good, Ed.
Excuse me.
Sure, Dr.
Capra.
Phil? I'm going to go lie down a while.
Hey, Shelly.
You know, we've been talking about expanding the business for a long time.
We could serve half the borough with this baby.
Awesome.
Yeah.
I had my eye on this crate for some time.
Finally got Dave Larwood to talk sense, and here we are.
How much? Five-fifty.
But don't worry about the money.
I'm not going to be spending anything on Sons of the Tundra.
They rejected me, Shelly.
Huh? One vote.
They can bite me.
It's okay.
I'd never want to join a club that would have me as a member, anyway.
Did you make that up? Yep.
Hey, ladies, how about a little spin? Okay, want to go for a ride? Say "yeah.
"