The Nanny s06e09 Episode Script
Oh, Say, Can You Ski?
Thank you so much for coming by, Dr.
Reynolds.
It's nice to find a doctor that will make house calls.
It's nice to find a patient who can afford them.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
Fran is obsessing about still not being pregnant.
No need to worry.
All we have to do is talk to her calmly, let her know that she's special and that there's nothing wrong with her.
- Hi, Fran.
- Hi.
Why don't you tell me why you're upside down? Well, I was watching "The View" and Barbara Walters says that this helps you get pregnant.
Plus you know I'm taking those hormones and I also got some fancy herbs and he's been taking zinc.
- No, I haven't.
- Yeah, you have.
Remember those Tic Tacs that you said that you thought tasted a little chalky This is sick.
You are obsessive.
Now stop.
Please talk to her, doctor.
This is sick.
You are obsessive.
Now stop.
Now, Max and Fran I'm getting the feeling that you're not following my instructions at all.
Remember, having sex too often can actually diminish your chances of becoming pregnant.
Well, I assure you we're not doing it too often.
Oh! Oh, honey, there's something wrong with me.
No, no, sweetheart.
There's nothing wrong with you.
Fran, what you need to do is let this problem float away.
Stop worrying.
For instance, last night I was lying in bed worrying about how I was going to make the down payment on my new Mercedes SL and the moment I stopped worrying, boom! House call.
You know, sweetheart, we should listen to Dr.
Reynolds.
We need to get our mind off this.
I know, why don't we get away for a while, hmm? No.
Oh, come on.
Aspen's beautiful this time of year.
Oh, I don't wanna go to Aspen.
They got babies there.
Come on.
We haven't been outside of this room for two weeks.
That's not true.
- Oh! - Oh! Oh, honey.
Look, I know what you're trying to do but nothing is going to take my mind off of having a baby, nothing will.
Not even an invitation to be guests of the President of the United States at his gala dinner? Are we at his table? Of course.
Oh, my God, we're going to meet the president.
Yes, isn't that exciting? And he's only invited his closest friends.
Oh, honey, I'm so impressed.
You should be.
Do you know how much it cost us to become his closest friends? Not as much as this house call.
She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens Till her boyfriend kicked her out in one of those crushing scenes What was she to do, where was she to go, she was out on her fanny So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door She was there to sell makeup but the father saw more She had style, she had flair, she was there, that's how she became the Nanny Who would have guessed that the girl we described Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? Now, the father finds her beguiling Watch out, C.
C.
And the kids are actually smiling such joie de vivre She's the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan The flashy girl from Flushing, the Nanny named Fran Oh, Sylvia, did you hear? Your daughter and son-in-law are taking me on vacation and all the help will be cooking for me.
Cleaning for me.
Eavesdropping on me.
Niles, here's your plane ticket.
Oh.
Oh, my, I've never flown first class before.
Oh, wait a minute.
That's Chester's.
Here.
Standby? Oh, Niles.
Lots of people cancel their trip to Aspen for Thanksgiving to meet the president.
Oh, by the way, when we get there, make sure everything's steamed.
I don't wanna meet the president with any wrinkles.
Well, then you should've met Truman.
Miss Babcock, Niles is on vacation.
He's coming with us not as our butler, but as our friend.
So when he unpacks, irons and cooks stuff to fill the fridge it'll be as a friendly gesture.
Yeah.
- Nanny Fine.
- Yes.
Maxwell and I are looking to produce at the Kennedy Center, so when you meet the president he doesn't want to know anything about your aunt's goiter, your mother's anything or your campaign to bring back the McRib.
Oh, I don't know.
I think he might sign that petition.
Look, Miss Babcock I'm only going to help take my mind off of not having a baby.
I'm just gonna go and relax and enjoy myself and sit in front of a roaring fire.
Too bad.
It sounds like the perfect place to get pregnant.
For what do you think I'm going? This is the most beautiful chalet in the place.
Only the most special people get this.
Oh, I bet you say that about all the chalets, don't you? Have to.
It's in the handbook.
Well, it's just a perfect room to make a baby, oh, it's so sexy and romantic.
Gee, I can't imagine anybody not loving to hang around here.
Oh.
Oh, I feel so bad for Niles.
I mean, imagine coming all the way to a ski resort and then breaking your arm and your collarbone falling out of a limo.
This is going to be the worst vacation for him.
Yes.
Ow! You know, Niles, this is all your fault.
If you hadn't put the leash on the dog, I wouldn't have tripped.
Well, I had to.
He would have run away and you would have lost him.
Well, why do you think I brought him up here? Sir, can't we hire someone else to take care of her? I'm sorry, Niles, but no one's allowed up here unless they've been checked out by the Secret Service.
I barely cleared.
Well, why can't she take care of her? I can't push her.
I'm just a little girl.
( Mocks ) I'm just a little girl.
( Phone rings ) Hello? Sylvia: Darling, do you know where the butler keeps the mini marshmallows? Ma, what are you doing in our house? Entertaining.
Louie, do ya mind? Stop rocking the chair.
You'll break it! Thank God, I didn't have it at my place.
Ma, who let you back in the house? Who left? So after the big gala, are you gonna set up for a nice romantic baby-making evening with your hubby? No, Ma, I can't let Maxwell know that I'm still obsessing on it.
I'm gonna have to do something that's very subtle.
Well, if you want my advice, tonight you'll start trying and trying and trying Ma, you're gonna have to stop thinking about it.
Well, I can't.
The mini marshmallows are in the bottom drawer in the cabinet to the left of the refrigerator.
( Dial tone hums ) Sweetheart, I, ah, I put together this list of topics for you to avoid when you're speaking to the president.
( Clears throat ) Let's see, um.
Don't mention anything about Whitewater, the Paula Jones settlement, the phrase "download the full text," Jennifer, Paula, Monica, Linda, Kathleen, Arianna, Kenneth, Newt, McDougal, Orrin, Al, Sylvia, Morty, Yetta, Frieda, Riphka, Babka, Kishka Ah, excuse me, sir, but we're here to meet the president.
( Chuckles ) Well, duh! Hah.
I'm, ah, Agent Chris Mallon, Secret Service.
You mind if I check your purse? - Oh, sure, sure.
- Thank you.
Ooh, it's adorable.
You don't plan to check the purses on the way out too, do you? I do now.
There you go.
Right that way.
Oh, hi, little fella.
Hi, how you doin'? Huh? All excited about meeting the president? Mommy and daddy gonna let you stay up late tonight? ( laughing ) I'm 17.
Oh, right.
17, jeez, I didn't realize that.
Sorry.
Right this way to the seniors line, grandpa.
Oh, hello, Mrs.
Clinton.
I'm Fran Sheffield.
You look beautiful and very thin tonight.
Oh, here, you just got a little over here that no, to the left, ya know what, just let me, let me.
There.
Oh, yeah, there you go.
Now I'm gonna go meet your husband.
Oh, hello, Mr.
President.
I'm Fran Sheffield.
Hello.
I'm Bill Clinton.
Oh, ha ha ha.
I know.
You know, your brother Roger lives right next door to us in New York.
Well, not for long.
He's moving, because he's sick of dealing with that neighbor's mother, you know, the one with the big blonde hair who's who's always screaming and taking his pizzas.
How do you deal with it? Eh oh you know, we're thinkin' of moving too.
Well, you're here with your family? Yes, yes, I'm here with my kids and my husband.
Oh, he's going to be so excited to meet you.
He'll be here in a second.
You know, he was so worried that I was going to say something embarrassing.
Oh, here's the Imodium A-D, honey.
Just knock on your father's stall.
You know, it could be the zinc I'm giving him too.
We're trying to get pregnant but it just doesn't seem to be happening.
Is there anything I can do to help? What what did you say? Why is she hitting him? Nothing.
Nothing, nothing.
This is my husband, Mr.
President.
Maxwell.
Oh, how do you do, Mr.
President? It's a pleasure to meet you.
I've heard so much about you.
Oh, of course I haven't believed everything I've heard, or read, but I haven't actually read or seen anything.
I haven't actually heard any bad things just the good things Ah, honey, honey, honey, as they say in the theater, let's leave him wanting more.
Oh, God, I've just humiliated myself in front of the President of the United States of America.
So what are you smiling about? Because I didn't do it.
Oh, honey, would you please stop worrying.
I just can't believe what I said.
I just totally lost control.
Sweetie, you're obsessing.
The way to stop thinking about it is to do something else.
- Come on.
- Oh, you're right, sweetheart.
Max: Do you think he thought I was an idiot? Fran: Let it go.
( Phone rings ) Fran: Don't answer it.
Oh, I have to get that.
It could be the President calling to see if I feel okay about what I said.
Stop it.
Don't be ridiculous.
Hello? Oh, hello! It's the president's secretary.
Yes? Oh, ah, tell him I feel okay.
I didn't give it a second thought.
Okay.
Oh, that would be lovely.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Good bye.
Oh, you're not gonna believe that.
The President and Hilary want me to go skiing with them.
Get this.
They thought I was charming.
Fantastic! You're going skiing with the President of the United States of America.
- I know! - Oh, you'll take your camera.
- You'll get pictures.
- Yes! - You'll get autographs.
- Ooh, yeah.
You'll talk to him about me doing the Kennedy Center thing.
Definitely.
You know, you are a wonderful woman? Mm-hmm.
Oh, come on.
Let's pick up where we left off.
What am I gonna wear? Look at that guy skiing with Chelsea.
I mean, what does he have that I don't? Ha, the last name DiCaprio.
I mean, am I the only one worried about Fran? She's skiing with the President and she's never skied before.
Don't be worried, her instructor said she's heads above the rest of the class.
Okay, girls.
Ready to go down the hill and get our skies? All right, everybody.
Hold hands.
I don't wanna hold her hand.
She keeps pulling me down when she falls.
You are not a team player, little girl.
And you're not a little girl.
Girls.
Girls.
Enough.
Well, she started.
Fran.
Where's your guardian? He's over there.
Well, I think you need to go over there and take a timeout.
You girls are all in a clique and I don't wanna be in your clique.
- Honey.
- Oh, sweetheart.
What's the matter? Why are you crying? I only have five days to learn how to ski for the president and I'm not picking it up.
Oh, that's all right, sweetheart.
I'll teach you.
Really? You don't mind? No, of course not.
I love you, hmmm.
Ow! I saw that, Cecily! How hard can it be to make the V? Even the five-year-olds can do it.
Well, thank you, Cecily.
Look, just just squat, like this.
Get in a squatting position, all right? Just like with your weight forward.
Now if you want to turn to the right, you do this.
If you want to turn to the left you do this, right? Right, left, weight forward, power the hill.
The important thing is knowing how to stop! Make the V! Make the V! Oh, honey, we've been here for two and a half hours.
I don't think anyone is gonna find us.
Wait.
My voice carries.
Help! Shh! Sweetheart, snow hanging precariously above us Sweetie, I'm so cold.
Oh, honey, why didn't you wear your long johns like I told you? Because it adds unnecessary bulk.
Honey, what are we gonna do? Oh, just let me hold you.
That'll warm you up.
Ah.
Warmer? I'm getting' a little toasty.
You know, this has always been a fantasy of mine.
What? To, ah, make love in the snow? No.
To make love with my ski instructor.
( Sneezes ) Oh, God bless you.
Oh, Niles.
Why aren't I any better? I mean, it's been five days since they rescued us off that mountain.
I can't ski, and now I have this terrible cold on top of it.
Well, why don't you take something? Well, I went to the clinic to try and get a prescription, but they said they wouldn't give me any antibiotics until they ran some stupid tests.
Meanwhile, my ears are so blocked I can't even hear myself talk.
Oh, lucky you.
I'm sorry.
It's just that I've spent my entire vacation scratching parts of Miss Babcock's body even she is loath to touch.
Well, I can't wait for this pharmacy to deliver the antibiotics anymore.
I'm just gonna have to go.
I mean, I ski with the president in a half an hour.
You wanna come and have hot chocolate in my cabin? Oh, I get it.
Now that you heard that I'm skiing with the president, you wanna be my best friend.
Well, no, thank you.
Fine.
Is Ingrid coming? Oh, I'm so excited about being with the president.
Ah, yes.
Civilians.
So unjaded.
You know, I've never had my very own Secret Service man before.
I feel so very safe and secure.
- Ah! - Ah! - Ah, God! - Ah! Ah! We're gonna die.
( Crying ) We're gonna die.
We're gonna die up here.
Well, that's comforting.
It's a chair lift.
They have to stop it to let people off.
Oh Okay.
What kind of a Secret Service man are you anyway? A really bad one.
In fact, they only keep me around because I guard the presidential parrot.
And one day I left the window open.
"Hail to the Chief! Hail to the Chief!" I gotta say that every time they walk by the covered cage.
Aww! That's okay.
Take it easy.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm very high strung.
( Phone rings ) ( screams ) Oh, God! Boy! You're all man, aren't ya? Oh, take it easy.
It's just a cell phone.
Oh, good.
Oh, yeah.
Hello.
Oh, yes.
How come you never dropped off my prescription? Oh.
Oh, really? Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.
Yes.
Goodbye.
Oh, my God.
I'm pregnant.
Did you hear that? The pharmacy called and said that I'm pregnant! ( Shouts ) Hi.
Hi, sweetheart.
What are you doing back so soon? I thought you'd be with the president for hours.
I didn't go.
I wanted to be with the most important man in my life.
What? What is it, darling? Sweetie, what did we come here for? To go to a gala dinner with the president? And? To get him to agree to let me produce at the Kennedy Center, which he did.
Honey, I'm trying to be romantic, but you're frustrating me a little here.
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
What are you trying to tell me? Ah, let me give you a hint.
Do you remember when Dr.
Reynolds said what might happen if I would just relax? Yes.
Well, remember how relaxed I was in the cave? ( Chuckles ) Yes.
Darling.
Are we nodding and smiling because you're trying to tell me we're gonna have a baby? ( Giggles ) God, sweetheart! Oh, we're gonna have a baby! Ah, wait, wait.
Are they sure? Absolutely positively.
Oh, sweetheart.
I love you so much.
I love you.
Can you believe our good luck that this trip happened right now at this time? I mean, think of it.
Because of President Clinton I'm pregnant! God Bless America! You know, this is my first Thanksgiving that I'm eating for two.
You know, Sylvia, if you stop now you'll be able to say the same.
Honey, didn't you enjoy your dinner? Yeah, of course I did.
Well then, how come your pants aren't undone and you're not saying, "Ugh, I'm so nauseous?" Darling, I stop eating when I'm full.
Oh, he's foreign.
Oh, we have so much to be grateful for.
I know that I'm thankful that I'm married and I'm pregnant.
And I'm thankful it was in that order.
Morty, are you all right? You've been so quiet.
Ugh, I'm nauseous.
I should'a bet on Pittsburgh.
( Jazz music playing )
Reynolds.
It's nice to find a doctor that will make house calls.
It's nice to find a patient who can afford them.
I just don't know what to do anymore.
Fran is obsessing about still not being pregnant.
No need to worry.
All we have to do is talk to her calmly, let her know that she's special and that there's nothing wrong with her.
- Hi, Fran.
- Hi.
Why don't you tell me why you're upside down? Well, I was watching "The View" and Barbara Walters says that this helps you get pregnant.
Plus you know I'm taking those hormones and I also got some fancy herbs and he's been taking zinc.
- No, I haven't.
- Yeah, you have.
Remember those Tic Tacs that you said that you thought tasted a little chalky This is sick.
You are obsessive.
Now stop.
Please talk to her, doctor.
This is sick.
You are obsessive.
Now stop.
Now, Max and Fran I'm getting the feeling that you're not following my instructions at all.
Remember, having sex too often can actually diminish your chances of becoming pregnant.
Well, I assure you we're not doing it too often.
Oh! Oh, honey, there's something wrong with me.
No, no, sweetheart.
There's nothing wrong with you.
Fran, what you need to do is let this problem float away.
Stop worrying.
For instance, last night I was lying in bed worrying about how I was going to make the down payment on my new Mercedes SL and the moment I stopped worrying, boom! House call.
You know, sweetheart, we should listen to Dr.
Reynolds.
We need to get our mind off this.
I know, why don't we get away for a while, hmm? No.
Oh, come on.
Aspen's beautiful this time of year.
Oh, I don't wanna go to Aspen.
They got babies there.
Come on.
We haven't been outside of this room for two weeks.
That's not true.
- Oh! - Oh! Oh, honey.
Look, I know what you're trying to do but nothing is going to take my mind off of having a baby, nothing will.
Not even an invitation to be guests of the President of the United States at his gala dinner? Are we at his table? Of course.
Oh, my God, we're going to meet the president.
Yes, isn't that exciting? And he's only invited his closest friends.
Oh, honey, I'm so impressed.
You should be.
Do you know how much it cost us to become his closest friends? Not as much as this house call.
She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens Till her boyfriend kicked her out in one of those crushing scenes What was she to do, where was she to go, she was out on her fanny So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door She was there to sell makeup but the father saw more She had style, she had flair, she was there, that's how she became the Nanny Who would have guessed that the girl we described Was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? Now, the father finds her beguiling Watch out, C.
C.
And the kids are actually smiling such joie de vivre She's the lady in red when everybody else is wearing tan The flashy girl from Flushing, the Nanny named Fran Oh, Sylvia, did you hear? Your daughter and son-in-law are taking me on vacation and all the help will be cooking for me.
Cleaning for me.
Eavesdropping on me.
Niles, here's your plane ticket.
Oh.
Oh, my, I've never flown first class before.
Oh, wait a minute.
That's Chester's.
Here.
Standby? Oh, Niles.
Lots of people cancel their trip to Aspen for Thanksgiving to meet the president.
Oh, by the way, when we get there, make sure everything's steamed.
I don't wanna meet the president with any wrinkles.
Well, then you should've met Truman.
Miss Babcock, Niles is on vacation.
He's coming with us not as our butler, but as our friend.
So when he unpacks, irons and cooks stuff to fill the fridge it'll be as a friendly gesture.
Yeah.
- Nanny Fine.
- Yes.
Maxwell and I are looking to produce at the Kennedy Center, so when you meet the president he doesn't want to know anything about your aunt's goiter, your mother's anything or your campaign to bring back the McRib.
Oh, I don't know.
I think he might sign that petition.
Look, Miss Babcock I'm only going to help take my mind off of not having a baby.
I'm just gonna go and relax and enjoy myself and sit in front of a roaring fire.
Too bad.
It sounds like the perfect place to get pregnant.
For what do you think I'm going? This is the most beautiful chalet in the place.
Only the most special people get this.
Oh, I bet you say that about all the chalets, don't you? Have to.
It's in the handbook.
Well, it's just a perfect room to make a baby, oh, it's so sexy and romantic.
Gee, I can't imagine anybody not loving to hang around here.
Oh.
Oh, I feel so bad for Niles.
I mean, imagine coming all the way to a ski resort and then breaking your arm and your collarbone falling out of a limo.
This is going to be the worst vacation for him.
Yes.
Ow! You know, Niles, this is all your fault.
If you hadn't put the leash on the dog, I wouldn't have tripped.
Well, I had to.
He would have run away and you would have lost him.
Well, why do you think I brought him up here? Sir, can't we hire someone else to take care of her? I'm sorry, Niles, but no one's allowed up here unless they've been checked out by the Secret Service.
I barely cleared.
Well, why can't she take care of her? I can't push her.
I'm just a little girl.
( Mocks ) I'm just a little girl.
( Phone rings ) Hello? Sylvia: Darling, do you know where the butler keeps the mini marshmallows? Ma, what are you doing in our house? Entertaining.
Louie, do ya mind? Stop rocking the chair.
You'll break it! Thank God, I didn't have it at my place.
Ma, who let you back in the house? Who left? So after the big gala, are you gonna set up for a nice romantic baby-making evening with your hubby? No, Ma, I can't let Maxwell know that I'm still obsessing on it.
I'm gonna have to do something that's very subtle.
Well, if you want my advice, tonight you'll start trying and trying and trying Ma, you're gonna have to stop thinking about it.
Well, I can't.
The mini marshmallows are in the bottom drawer in the cabinet to the left of the refrigerator.
( Dial tone hums ) Sweetheart, I, ah, I put together this list of topics for you to avoid when you're speaking to the president.
( Clears throat ) Let's see, um.
Don't mention anything about Whitewater, the Paula Jones settlement, the phrase "download the full text," Jennifer, Paula, Monica, Linda, Kathleen, Arianna, Kenneth, Newt, McDougal, Orrin, Al, Sylvia, Morty, Yetta, Frieda, Riphka, Babka, Kishka Ah, excuse me, sir, but we're here to meet the president.
( Chuckles ) Well, duh! Hah.
I'm, ah, Agent Chris Mallon, Secret Service.
You mind if I check your purse? - Oh, sure, sure.
- Thank you.
Ooh, it's adorable.
You don't plan to check the purses on the way out too, do you? I do now.
There you go.
Right that way.
Oh, hi, little fella.
Hi, how you doin'? Huh? All excited about meeting the president? Mommy and daddy gonna let you stay up late tonight? ( laughing ) I'm 17.
Oh, right.
17, jeez, I didn't realize that.
Sorry.
Right this way to the seniors line, grandpa.
Oh, hello, Mrs.
Clinton.
I'm Fran Sheffield.
You look beautiful and very thin tonight.
Oh, here, you just got a little over here that no, to the left, ya know what, just let me, let me.
There.
Oh, yeah, there you go.
Now I'm gonna go meet your husband.
Oh, hello, Mr.
President.
I'm Fran Sheffield.
Hello.
I'm Bill Clinton.
Oh, ha ha ha.
I know.
You know, your brother Roger lives right next door to us in New York.
Well, not for long.
He's moving, because he's sick of dealing with that neighbor's mother, you know, the one with the big blonde hair who's who's always screaming and taking his pizzas.
How do you deal with it? Eh oh you know, we're thinkin' of moving too.
Well, you're here with your family? Yes, yes, I'm here with my kids and my husband.
Oh, he's going to be so excited to meet you.
He'll be here in a second.
You know, he was so worried that I was going to say something embarrassing.
Oh, here's the Imodium A-D, honey.
Just knock on your father's stall.
You know, it could be the zinc I'm giving him too.
We're trying to get pregnant but it just doesn't seem to be happening.
Is there anything I can do to help? What what did you say? Why is she hitting him? Nothing.
Nothing, nothing.
This is my husband, Mr.
President.
Maxwell.
Oh, how do you do, Mr.
President? It's a pleasure to meet you.
I've heard so much about you.
Oh, of course I haven't believed everything I've heard, or read, but I haven't actually read or seen anything.
I haven't actually heard any bad things just the good things Ah, honey, honey, honey, as they say in the theater, let's leave him wanting more.
Oh, God, I've just humiliated myself in front of the President of the United States of America.
So what are you smiling about? Because I didn't do it.
Oh, honey, would you please stop worrying.
I just can't believe what I said.
I just totally lost control.
Sweetie, you're obsessing.
The way to stop thinking about it is to do something else.
- Come on.
- Oh, you're right, sweetheart.
Max: Do you think he thought I was an idiot? Fran: Let it go.
( Phone rings ) Fran: Don't answer it.
Oh, I have to get that.
It could be the President calling to see if I feel okay about what I said.
Stop it.
Don't be ridiculous.
Hello? Oh, hello! It's the president's secretary.
Yes? Oh, ah, tell him I feel okay.
I didn't give it a second thought.
Okay.
Oh, that would be lovely.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Good bye.
Oh, you're not gonna believe that.
The President and Hilary want me to go skiing with them.
Get this.
They thought I was charming.
Fantastic! You're going skiing with the President of the United States of America.
- I know! - Oh, you'll take your camera.
- You'll get pictures.
- Yes! - You'll get autographs.
- Ooh, yeah.
You'll talk to him about me doing the Kennedy Center thing.
Definitely.
You know, you are a wonderful woman? Mm-hmm.
Oh, come on.
Let's pick up where we left off.
What am I gonna wear? Look at that guy skiing with Chelsea.
I mean, what does he have that I don't? Ha, the last name DiCaprio.
I mean, am I the only one worried about Fran? She's skiing with the President and she's never skied before.
Don't be worried, her instructor said she's heads above the rest of the class.
Okay, girls.
Ready to go down the hill and get our skies? All right, everybody.
Hold hands.
I don't wanna hold her hand.
She keeps pulling me down when she falls.
You are not a team player, little girl.
And you're not a little girl.
Girls.
Girls.
Enough.
Well, she started.
Fran.
Where's your guardian? He's over there.
Well, I think you need to go over there and take a timeout.
You girls are all in a clique and I don't wanna be in your clique.
- Honey.
- Oh, sweetheart.
What's the matter? Why are you crying? I only have five days to learn how to ski for the president and I'm not picking it up.
Oh, that's all right, sweetheart.
I'll teach you.
Really? You don't mind? No, of course not.
I love you, hmmm.
Ow! I saw that, Cecily! How hard can it be to make the V? Even the five-year-olds can do it.
Well, thank you, Cecily.
Look, just just squat, like this.
Get in a squatting position, all right? Just like with your weight forward.
Now if you want to turn to the right, you do this.
If you want to turn to the left you do this, right? Right, left, weight forward, power the hill.
The important thing is knowing how to stop! Make the V! Make the V! Oh, honey, we've been here for two and a half hours.
I don't think anyone is gonna find us.
Wait.
My voice carries.
Help! Shh! Sweetheart, snow hanging precariously above us Sweetie, I'm so cold.
Oh, honey, why didn't you wear your long johns like I told you? Because it adds unnecessary bulk.
Honey, what are we gonna do? Oh, just let me hold you.
That'll warm you up.
Ah.
Warmer? I'm getting' a little toasty.
You know, this has always been a fantasy of mine.
What? To, ah, make love in the snow? No.
To make love with my ski instructor.
( Sneezes ) Oh, God bless you.
Oh, Niles.
Why aren't I any better? I mean, it's been five days since they rescued us off that mountain.
I can't ski, and now I have this terrible cold on top of it.
Well, why don't you take something? Well, I went to the clinic to try and get a prescription, but they said they wouldn't give me any antibiotics until they ran some stupid tests.
Meanwhile, my ears are so blocked I can't even hear myself talk.
Oh, lucky you.
I'm sorry.
It's just that I've spent my entire vacation scratching parts of Miss Babcock's body even she is loath to touch.
Well, I can't wait for this pharmacy to deliver the antibiotics anymore.
I'm just gonna have to go.
I mean, I ski with the president in a half an hour.
You wanna come and have hot chocolate in my cabin? Oh, I get it.
Now that you heard that I'm skiing with the president, you wanna be my best friend.
Well, no, thank you.
Fine.
Is Ingrid coming? Oh, I'm so excited about being with the president.
Ah, yes.
Civilians.
So unjaded.
You know, I've never had my very own Secret Service man before.
I feel so very safe and secure.
- Ah! - Ah! - Ah, God! - Ah! Ah! We're gonna die.
( Crying ) We're gonna die.
We're gonna die up here.
Well, that's comforting.
It's a chair lift.
They have to stop it to let people off.
Oh Okay.
What kind of a Secret Service man are you anyway? A really bad one.
In fact, they only keep me around because I guard the presidential parrot.
And one day I left the window open.
"Hail to the Chief! Hail to the Chief!" I gotta say that every time they walk by the covered cage.
Aww! That's okay.
Take it easy.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I'm very high strung.
( Phone rings ) ( screams ) Oh, God! Boy! You're all man, aren't ya? Oh, take it easy.
It's just a cell phone.
Oh, good.
Oh, yeah.
Hello.
Oh, yes.
How come you never dropped off my prescription? Oh.
Oh, really? Oh, thank you.
Thank you so much.
Yes.
Goodbye.
Oh, my God.
I'm pregnant.
Did you hear that? The pharmacy called and said that I'm pregnant! ( Shouts ) Hi.
Hi, sweetheart.
What are you doing back so soon? I thought you'd be with the president for hours.
I didn't go.
I wanted to be with the most important man in my life.
What? What is it, darling? Sweetie, what did we come here for? To go to a gala dinner with the president? And? To get him to agree to let me produce at the Kennedy Center, which he did.
Honey, I'm trying to be romantic, but you're frustrating me a little here.
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
What are you trying to tell me? Ah, let me give you a hint.
Do you remember when Dr.
Reynolds said what might happen if I would just relax? Yes.
Well, remember how relaxed I was in the cave? ( Chuckles ) Yes.
Darling.
Are we nodding and smiling because you're trying to tell me we're gonna have a baby? ( Giggles ) God, sweetheart! Oh, we're gonna have a baby! Ah, wait, wait.
Are they sure? Absolutely positively.
Oh, sweetheart.
I love you so much.
I love you.
Can you believe our good luck that this trip happened right now at this time? I mean, think of it.
Because of President Clinton I'm pregnant! God Bless America! You know, this is my first Thanksgiving that I'm eating for two.
You know, Sylvia, if you stop now you'll be able to say the same.
Honey, didn't you enjoy your dinner? Yeah, of course I did.
Well then, how come your pants aren't undone and you're not saying, "Ugh, I'm so nauseous?" Darling, I stop eating when I'm full.
Oh, he's foreign.
Oh, we have so much to be grateful for.
I know that I'm thankful that I'm married and I'm pregnant.
And I'm thankful it was in that order.
Morty, are you all right? You've been so quiet.
Ugh, I'm nauseous.
I should'a bet on Pittsburgh.
( Jazz music playing )