The Vampire Diaries s06e09 Episode Script
I Alone
Previously on "the vampire diaries" I get that we had an amazing life together, but now I feel like I'm looking at a stranger.
To get home, we'll harness the power of the eclipse, using an Ascendant.
What about Bonnie? She sacrificed herself so I could come back.
Jo is his sister? In our coven, Kai wanted to be the leader, but that wasn't if Lukas and Olivia were alive.
I'm not gonna let you die.
If Kai gets out, he'll head straight for Jo.
His ability to siphon magic will overwhelm Jo, and our coven will be left to the whims of a madman.
To do the spell, all I need is Bennett blood.
The bastard took the car.
The Ascendant's with me.
We're not letting her brother out, all right? The Ascendant is off the table.
Ok.
Get the Ascendant from Jo.
I understand.
Look.
I'm at a crossroads.
Any chance you'd be willing to help me bring my best friend Bonnie back? Sure.
Knock knock.
Hey.
Come on in.
Oh.
It's one of those nights.
Oh, wow.
Your enthusiasm is amazing.
I'm sorry.
I've had a day from hell, and I didn't mean it.
I did actually, but I'm gonna call take backs, ok? Ok.
Ooh, you got Thai food.
You know, I knew I should have led with the food.
Well, this is perfect.
I'm starving.
Aww.
Where's yours? Oh.
Very funny.
You didn't compel him to get her drunk.
No.
I compelled him to do whatever it takes, and considering the Ascendant is the key to her psycho brother's weird prison world, I'm sure it's gonna take her a few to open up about it.
I swear your dad loves me.
Ha ha ha! I have never been given so clear a blessing.
You went to see him, and he tried to kill me.
How's that a blessing? Because he didn't try to kill me.
He just banished me from your creepy childhood home.
It wasn't creepy back then.
Once your brother brutally murders your siblings, creep sets in.
Oh.
So you just-- you just ran.
I didn't run.
They let me go.
We made a deal.
Betray your brother and get your freedom.
So where does the Ascendant fall under this deal? They didn't know I had it.
By the time I found out, I was gone.
I still don't understand why you'd want it.
It makes me feel safe, like I'm in control.
As long as I have it, then no one can use it to get Kai out.
Kai can't get me.
Embarrassing, but I actually used sleep with it under my pillow.
Used to? Yes, used to.
I am a grownup now obviously, and I keep it in my underwear drawer next to my pot.
Oh, ok.
Well, that explains why you're always hungry.
No.
I'm always hungry because I'm a vegetarian.
Ok.
Ha ha ha! Well The last of it.
Good.
No more distractions.
You realize he is gonna kill you when he finds out what you did to him.
My relationship to ruin, thank you.
I didn't complain when you ruined yours with Caroline.
I didn't ruin my-- Yeah.
I'm sure she's fine.
She's on vacation with her mom, eating ice cream out of the carton, convincing herself she never liked you in the first place.
You done? Careful, Stefan.
I know it may seem easy to be the big bad Salvatore, but soon, you'll find yourself lying in the middle of the road, pouring your heart out to a stranger, having an existential crisis.
Yeah, great.
So, uh, when's this grand theft gonna happen? Assuming everything went well, it's already happened, which means Here it is.
Thanks, buddy.
There you go.
Go home to Jo, be a good boyfriend, forget this ever happened.
Seriously, I shouldn't be winning.
Two weeks without booze doesn't make you iron man.
I can still vamp circles around you.
You mean, you can cheat.
Ha! Or I could pants you in front of the entire women's volleyball team.
Doubt they'd mind.
Ok.
I give up.
What did you do with my miserable half-drunk brother? He canceled Bonnie's cell phone, cried until there was nothing left, and got all the grief out of his system.
He is ready to move on.
What? It's about Bonnie.
Damon said she found peace.
He thought Kai had killed her, but he just found out that she's alive, and he's doing everything that he can to-- So you're back to defending him.
Wow! And all it took was one hollow promise to bring Bonnie back.
No.
No, no, no, Jer.
It's not hollow.
Liv's looking for a way to send us over there so that we can find Bonnie and bring her back.
And if you can't? Jer, this is good news.
You're right, Elena.
This is good news.
Tonight, I'm gonna see Bonnie again, and everything is gonna go back to the way it was because I have never heard that before.
I brought you to Mystic Falls to keep you safe from your crazy-ass witch family.
You can't just leave because Damon wants you to do some spell.
So, what, I'm a prisoner here? Do I look like Rapunzel? Well, actually.
Look.
Why can't Luke do it? Because he is busy enjoying his last few weeks as a singular twin with his sugar daddy radiologist, and I'd like to enjoy mine.
Matt, help me out here.
I can't.
It's for Bonnie.
Tyler, I can't stay locked up in here any longer.
I'm out of clothes, and I've had pizza for breakfast every day this week.
We've got to get back to our normal lives.
If you leave and your coven finds you-- They'll make me merge with my brother? Hey.
It's not all bad.
If I survive, you'll be dating the all-powerful leader of the Gemini coven, and if I don't, you can date Luke.
Hey.
This isn't a joke to me, ok? Well, I have to laugh at it because if I start imagining my life stuck in this town running away from my family, I will fall apart.
I'll find a way.
And that was an actual fight two people just had over a twin-merge? This town is so weird.
You'll get used to it.
Or I won't, and a vampire will kill me like they killed your friend Tripp.
That's not gonna happen because I won't let it.
And with that, the Mystic Falls community protection program is officially disbanded.
You know what that means.
I helped you, now you help me.
Time for a little family reunion.
What does Matt want with Stefan? I don't know.
It's Matt.
Food, money, new social class.
Whatever it is, it better distract Stefan from his sizeable screw-up with Caroline.
Did you know about that, how she felt about him? She told me a little while back, and whatever you're thinking, I want both of them to be happy.
Even if she compels away all the things she likes about him? Hey.
Thanks for doing this.
Don't worry about.
I needed an excuse to get out of that frat house.
Way too much boy.
Gross.
You got everything? Yep.
Blood from a Bennett-- Lucy to be exact-- and an Ascendant from whatever the hell your last name is.
Parker.
So this is the famous Ascendant? Yup.
Surprised that Jo gave it up.
Why? It's the only thing keeping Kai locked in his prison.
If he gets out, he's coming after Jo.
Well, good old Jo-- heh heh--helping us out.
Can we do this, please? Whatever.
So I'm gonna need the moon to activate the Ascendant.
It will be viable for about 8 hours, so once I send you over, the clock's ticking.
And how do we get back? Drink these.
What is that? It's my blood.
It will link you to me so I can find you and bring you back.
Give this one to Bonnie, too.
Are you waiting for a toast? Drink.
Mmm.
Bitter.
Wonder why.
Shall we? Hey.
I used to come here every day after the accident for months.
This is where your parents are buried.
Yeah, but not in 1994.
In 1994, they were still alive.
Yeah.
So is Bonnie.
So let's go get her.
Just keep your eyes peeled.
There's a pork rind-munching freak somewhere around here.
Ok? Yeah.
Come on.
You ever worn skinny jeans? Agh.
It seems wrong.
I'm all bunched up.
Also, why are jeans so tight when phones are so big? I don't know what to tell you, pal.
Oh, God.
I'm that guy, right? That guy that won't shut up.
Oh, I hate that guy.
I just sat next to that guy on the plane.
He was the worst.
Hey.
Speaking of planes, have you flown recently? Because what's with the whole liquid situation and the stripping before you go through security thing? It's weird.
They're worried about terrorists.
Ok.
Well, I'm sorry, but the real terrorists are some of those people taking off their shoes.
I know I'm chatty.
Sorry.
I've just been in prison for awhile.
Not like a regular prison, you know, more like a All right.
We're here.
Special kind of That will be 30.
All right.
Jeans.
Uh, will you take this? Hang on.
Hang on.
I got it.
Oh.
Hey.
Gum.
Nice.
Come on, buddy.
I don't have all day.
Let's go.
I got it.
Hold on.
Huh.
Well I guess this will do.
Thank you.
Bonnie? Nothing.
You? No, and I looked in every room plus the basement.
Damon, you--you don't think that Kai-- Look.
Let's not jump to depressing conclusions yet, ok? Ok.
Oh, my god.
Damon.
Oh, my god, Damon.
This is blood.
And we're jumping.
What are you doing? If Kai has Bonnie, we need to talk.
So you're gonna call him? I'm gonna page him actually.
Sorry.
Forgot you were two in 1994.
Pagers are an ancient form of telecommunication.
I know what a pager is.
How does it work? We dial jackass's number We leave our number And then we hang up.
And now what? And now we sit by the phone like a 13-year-old girl and wait.
Relax.
I'm about to meet one of my only living relatives.
Uh, technically, he's not living.
So Stefan has extended family.
I'm intrigued.
Enzo, what the hell are you doing here? Apparently rescuing this one from the world's most dreadful lunch.
Matt and Stefan? Sweetheart, you can do so much better.
Me for example.
I'm Enzo.
The guy who killed Tripp.
Oh, my God.
For the record, he did try and kill me first.
You are the most terrible wingman.
Enzo, leave.
Or what? Or maybe I'll pick up where Tripp left off.
Go on then.
Hey.
I really wouldn't do that if I were you.
You hurt him, and, uh, I hurt you, and really don't feel like cleaning up two corpses today.
Making threats in front of impressionable family.
How brutish.
What are you talking about? Me.
He's, uh, talking about me.
I'm Zach and Gail's daughter Sarah Salvatore.
Um Well, I am officially in hell.
This place is my own personal hell.
Whoa! Oh.
Hey! What was that? Uh, it's my audition tape for "Real World: London.
" Fingers crossed.
I think I'm finally gonna make it.
That was a video journal.
What? No.
Journals are lame, especially video ones.
Then why did you say you thought this was your own personal hell? Well, I mean, because I was stuck here with Bonnie.
What could be worse than that? Damon.
Kai, if you so much as hurt one hair on her annoying little witch head, I will kill you and-- That was so sweet.
Why'd you ruin it by calling me annoying? Bonnie? Elena? Elena, is that you? Yes! It's me.
I'm here.
I'm at the Salvatore house inin 1994.
I can't believe I'm hearing your voice right now.
How are you here? It's a long story.
Just know that I'm here to get you.
Ahh.
So Kai just left you in Portland? After cooking me Thanksgiving spaghetti and stealing my blood.
It's been a strange few days.
Where is he now? Don't know.
I hotwired a car, and I'm on my way back to Mystic Falls.
Hang on.
You hotwired a car? Who are you? A badass apparently.
A badass in Muncie.
Well, Muncie's about give or take a knuckle.
Liv's pulling us out in 7.
If you don't stop to use the little witches' room anymore I can make it in time.
I'm going home.
You're coming home.
We'll see you soon.
Ok.
You're worried about Kai.
If he's got Bonnie's blood and the Ascendant, he's got everything he needs to get out.
What if he's already out? How can I help you? One Zima, please.
Hilarious.
Are you going to order something or just gonna stare? Ok.
Uh, how about a soda Liv? Heh.
Liv.
Ironic.
Where is it? That's a cryptic question, accusatory tone.
This doesn't bode well for me.
Good.
Deflect, make a joke.
That'll fix this.
What are you talking about? The Ascendant.
Where is it? I have no idea.
You must think I'm an idiot.
To be fair, I am one.
Wine, Thai food, that's all it takes.
Jo, I don't have it.
Did you tell Damon where it is? No.
No.
Look.
We all agreed to find another way to get Bonnie back.
Do you honestly think this is my normal afternoon reading? You and I are the only ones who knew where it was.
It's gone! Ok.
Look.
I swear to you I didn't tell anyone, ok? I would never tell anybody.
You're right.
You'd never tell anyone.
It doesn't mean you didn't.
What are you saying? Damon is a vampire.
Are you saying Damon compelled me? Heh.
Look.
He wouldn't do that.
He's my friend.
Ok.
Let's prove it.
We're going to Mystic Falls.
If you're compelled, it will go away when we walk across the border.
If nothing happens, then you're right.
He's your friend.
Bon appetit.
Hang on.
What? Nothing.
Let's eat.
Ok.
Who mangled the crossword? illiterate witch, B.
This is about Kai and Jo.
Yep.
Kai's greatest hits staring us in the face every day.
If Kai's out, he's gonna go after Jo again.
Damon, he's gonna kill her.
Well, if I have my Gemini rules down, actually, he's going to merge with her, which will most likely result in her death, which I guess is 6 of 1-- Then why would she give you the Ascendant? Um Because I asked her very nicely? You want some music maybe? I'm gonna turn on some music.
It was the one thing trapping Kai, and she just gave it to you? We have Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails, Boyz II Men--Stefan's.
Damon.
Fine.
She didn't give it to me.
Alaric stole it from her.
Alaric stole from her.
After I compelled him.
What? Elena, stop.
Of course you compel your best friend.
I mean, why would that be off limits? Hey.
I'm trying to get Bonnie back! Oh, just--just--no.
Don't.
Damon, I want Bonnie back more than anything.
She's my best friend, but to you, she's something else, isn't she? She's a chance for me to realize what a great guy you are so that I can fall in love with you all over again.
It doesn't matter who gets hurt in the process as long as Damon gets what Damon wants.
She's saying you're stupid, and Stefan is agreeing.
Ooh.
Now she's saying you're good for nothing, and Stefan is disagreeing.
He says you're a great punch line to a joke.
Everyone hates you.
Don't be jealous you can't vamp hear because you're a big blond bowl of mush.
Just be thankful I don't fancy mush.
So after the third group home, I got myself emancipated, which is surprisingly difficult, by the way.
Yeah.
You seem like the type that would do better on your own.
Hey.
Do you want a drink? Sure.
Hey.
Excuse me.
Can we get two chocolate milk shakes, please? It's a, uh, Salvatore family tradition.
I'm all for family traditions.
All right.
Listen.
In 10 seconds, you're gonna get up and walk out of here with me, smiling, acting like nothing's wrong.
The acting part shouldn't be too hard for you.
I know you're lying.
Ready to go? Hey.
Where you guys going? Oh, just a little family drive.
It's ok, Matt, I promise.
I'll call you in a bit.
All right.
You on Twitter? Ah.
I just signed up.
You should follow me.
Cobrakai1972.
Come on.
Like "Karate Kid"? Did you know you can follow celebrities? Heh.
They all Twitter the stupidest things.
It's--it's hilarious.
It's kind of dead.
I think I'm gonna close up.
Oh.
Hang on, hang on.
I'm gonna get a real drink.
No bourbon.
I'm secure enough in my masculinity.
Vodka's boring, rum's too tropical.
Ooh.
Tequila.
You do not want to see me on Tequila.
What about gin? Is that weird? Not if you're a 50-year-old, but seeing as you look 19, I'm gonna need to see some I.
D.
Oh.
Of course.
Of course.
No.
True story, but that's not the most interesting thing on that I.
D.
Here.
Look again.
Name, address.
Malachai Parker.
Oh, my God.
Ahhh.
- Last time I saw you - Aah! I was trying to kill you.
Why don't we pick up where we left off? I don't think so.
Ugh! Life is so much easier with magic.
Unh! Feels kind of like cheating.
I'm sad you didn't recognize me.
That means dad erased all trace of my existence-- family pictures, movies, little handprint turkey I made.
What a dick.
You stay the hell away from me.
You were always so bad at hide-and-seek.
I mean, you were 4, but still, find a better hiding spot.
Aah! I think she did just fine.
Let's get out of here.
You don't find it the least bit strange that they just up and left? I told you she's his family.
If they want to talk, let them talk.
What the hell do you care? Because I care about the truth, care about authenticity.
Or you just hate Stefan.
I do actually, yeah.
He abandoned his brother, turned me over to a vampire hunter, and he hurt the one girl who can honestly do no wrong.
That's not why I care.
No.
I care because he does all that and is still considered a hero when I get stuck being a villain.
Yeah, because you kill people.
What, and Stefan doesn't? Come on.
You and I both know that's not true.
I'm just up front about it, but Stefan, no, who knows what he's done? He's just a liar with a little box of secrets.
Come on, Mush.
Let's open the box.
I told you Zach Salvatore is my father, Gail is my mother.
I have these pictures.
Ah.
That's your big evidence, a picture you stole? You gave yourself up the second you got in the car.
Why don't you believe me? Because right now, Sarah Salvatore is in her dorm room at Duke university, where she studies as an art major, and she didn't bounce from group home to group home.
She was adopted right out of the hospital by a great family.
I made sure of it.
You know her.
She's my family.
Even though she doesn't know me, I've looked out for her for her entire life.
Now who the hell are you? Monique.
My name is Monique.
May 10, 1994, I had a day.
I was mad at Stefan for something.
I don't even remember what it was, and in typical Damon fashion, I acted out.
People died.
A lot of them, and believe it or not, ever since that day, I've felt horribly guilty.
So I thought that this was my hell, Elena But you know who didn't? Bonnie.
She had hope for both of us.
She's the reason I survived, the reason I made it out.
Who knew? Turns out you spend time with someone and don't kill them, you actually become friends.
I'm doing this for Bonnie, Elena, not for you.
And that's it.
Damon and Bonnie.
Who would have thought? Pfft.
Don't make this any weirder than it needs to be.
She's probably passing Whitmore right now.
If she's not lost.
She has a terrible sense of direction.
You know, I could have sworn that this used to squeak.
It did.
I fixed it.
Bonnie and I came here every day.
It as the closest thing I had to a picture of you, and I needed every reminder I could get.
It's funny.
I used to have so many good memories of this house, and after just one bad one, I burned it down.
I just couldn't bear to look at it again.
I just can't believe it's gone.
You want to go inside? Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
I'm sorry I compelled away the memories.
They were only half mine.
We'll make new ones.
Do you feel that? Oh, no.
No.
No.
We shouldn't be back yet.
Damon, we have another hour.
What did you do? Kai is here.
We have to get back to Mystic Falls before he takes any more of her magic.
No.
Send me back first.
I can't.
Bonnie was on her way.
Send me back! Unh! Elena, you're over the border.
I'm sorry, Elena.
No.
No.
I met Sarah at sleep-away camp, or as my foster family liked to call it, get the hell out of my house camp.
Sarah had a great life.
Me? Not so much.
So when I found out that she had no desire to find her real family-- You decided to find them for her.
Couldn't be any worse than what I had.
Well, considering the fact that my brother killed her mom while she was pregnant, I don't know about that.
I let him believe that the baby died.
I wanted to protect her.
Even though my brother's not the same person he was before, it's safer if he doesn't know.
I know that may be a little bit extreme, but I want her to have a normal life no matter what.
See, the problem is with you around, there's a thread now, someone who knows her other than me.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I just need you to take off your Vervain.
You've never met or heard of Sarah Salvatore.
Forget everything that happened here, leave Virginia, and never come back.
Hey! You ok? Who are you? You compelled her? Why? She's not my family, she's a con artist, and I'm just trying to get rid of her.
Get out of here.
Aah! What the hell? No screaming, luv, and don't move.
Enzo, what are you doing? I want the whole story, the one not obscured by the dulcet tones of a blender.
I told you she's a con artist.
There is no Sarah Salvatore.
That baby died when Damon killed her mom.
Then why listen to this one blather on for 20 minutes, why whisk her away to speak privately, hmm? Why wipe her memory, Stefan? She knows something.
Come on.
Don't do this.
Just let her go.
See? He's digging in.
Can always spot a liar.
How about a countdown? That's fair for everyone, right? Enzo, let her go, or I swear-- You'll what? I will kill you.
Will you? Because Stefan's 5 seconds are up.
No! Don't be stupid.
Don't be stupid.
Just think.
All of this could have been avoided if you'd have just told the truth.
No matter.
I'll find out sooner or later.
Bonnie's gonna get to the house, and we will be gone.
Until the next comet or full moon or eclipse.
As long as we have that, we can go back as many times as we need until we get her back.
Wait.
Are you guys talking about Bonnie Bennett? Because honestly, I didn't think she was all that great.
No! I am gonna enjoy the hell out of this.
Oh, hey.
Me, too.
Oh, yeah.
Damon, I, uh, I stole some of Liv's magic when I tried to kill her.
Think some of it might still be in my system, so pardon me.
Unh! Uh-uh-uh.
You missed one.
Phesmatos incendia.
Aah! No! Aah! Unh! Oh, God.
You ok? Huh.
I guess this is that, uh, antimagic border, which means now there's a psycho loose in Mystic Falls and no vampires around to stop him.
Whoops.
Look.
I'm sorry that Enzo killed her.
He's-- A monster.
Yeah, I know, but you could have stopped him, and you didn't.
What, you think that was easy for me, watching an innocent girl die? I don't know actually.
You're not exactly the sharing type.
Matt, I promise you that everything I do I have thought out over and over, making sure it's the right thing to do.
So we're just supposed to trust that you know best? No.
You're supposed to trust that I'm nothing like Enzo.
The problem is you are because no matter how close vampires get to humans, our lives will always mean less, so when push comes to shove, we'll be on opposite sides, which is what Tripp knew and I didn't.
Jeremy? Let me guess.
She's not with you? She was on her way, but-- but at the last minute, something went wrong, and it didn't work.
I bet Damon's fine, isn't he? Don't do that.
Why not? Because I think channeling your rage might be a better option.
How do you feel about being a hunter again? Why? Because I want you to help me kill Enzo.
So Jo drove me across the border.
I told her she was crazy, that you'd never compel me.
Look, Ric.
We had to get Bonnie back.
Getting Bonnie back was never off the table.
What was off the table was compelling me to steal from my girlfriend when we had promised her we'd keep her brother locked way.
- Yeah, I know.
- Where is he--Kai? He's out, but it's not our fa-- I left Bonnie a note at the house.
I told her we would be on your front porch.
She'd probably be there now with about a half an hour to spare.
She sacrificed everything for us over and over again, and then we were supposed to be there for her.
She's all alone.
I think gin gets a bad rap.
I'd rather not kill you, but I will.
What the hell do you want? This is gonna sound crazy, but I'm want to save Liv's life.
Feel like making a deal with the devil?
To get home, we'll harness the power of the eclipse, using an Ascendant.
What about Bonnie? She sacrificed herself so I could come back.
Jo is his sister? In our coven, Kai wanted to be the leader, but that wasn't if Lukas and Olivia were alive.
I'm not gonna let you die.
If Kai gets out, he'll head straight for Jo.
His ability to siphon magic will overwhelm Jo, and our coven will be left to the whims of a madman.
To do the spell, all I need is Bennett blood.
The bastard took the car.
The Ascendant's with me.
We're not letting her brother out, all right? The Ascendant is off the table.
Ok.
Get the Ascendant from Jo.
I understand.
Look.
I'm at a crossroads.
Any chance you'd be willing to help me bring my best friend Bonnie back? Sure.
Knock knock.
Hey.
Come on in.
Oh.
It's one of those nights.
Oh, wow.
Your enthusiasm is amazing.
I'm sorry.
I've had a day from hell, and I didn't mean it.
I did actually, but I'm gonna call take backs, ok? Ok.
Ooh, you got Thai food.
You know, I knew I should have led with the food.
Well, this is perfect.
I'm starving.
Aww.
Where's yours? Oh.
Very funny.
You didn't compel him to get her drunk.
No.
I compelled him to do whatever it takes, and considering the Ascendant is the key to her psycho brother's weird prison world, I'm sure it's gonna take her a few to open up about it.
I swear your dad loves me.
Ha ha ha! I have never been given so clear a blessing.
You went to see him, and he tried to kill me.
How's that a blessing? Because he didn't try to kill me.
He just banished me from your creepy childhood home.
It wasn't creepy back then.
Once your brother brutally murders your siblings, creep sets in.
Oh.
So you just-- you just ran.
I didn't run.
They let me go.
We made a deal.
Betray your brother and get your freedom.
So where does the Ascendant fall under this deal? They didn't know I had it.
By the time I found out, I was gone.
I still don't understand why you'd want it.
It makes me feel safe, like I'm in control.
As long as I have it, then no one can use it to get Kai out.
Kai can't get me.
Embarrassing, but I actually used sleep with it under my pillow.
Used to? Yes, used to.
I am a grownup now obviously, and I keep it in my underwear drawer next to my pot.
Oh, ok.
Well, that explains why you're always hungry.
No.
I'm always hungry because I'm a vegetarian.
Ok.
Ha ha ha! Well The last of it.
Good.
No more distractions.
You realize he is gonna kill you when he finds out what you did to him.
My relationship to ruin, thank you.
I didn't complain when you ruined yours with Caroline.
I didn't ruin my-- Yeah.
I'm sure she's fine.
She's on vacation with her mom, eating ice cream out of the carton, convincing herself she never liked you in the first place.
You done? Careful, Stefan.
I know it may seem easy to be the big bad Salvatore, but soon, you'll find yourself lying in the middle of the road, pouring your heart out to a stranger, having an existential crisis.
Yeah, great.
So, uh, when's this grand theft gonna happen? Assuming everything went well, it's already happened, which means Here it is.
Thanks, buddy.
There you go.
Go home to Jo, be a good boyfriend, forget this ever happened.
Seriously, I shouldn't be winning.
Two weeks without booze doesn't make you iron man.
I can still vamp circles around you.
You mean, you can cheat.
Ha! Or I could pants you in front of the entire women's volleyball team.
Doubt they'd mind.
Ok.
I give up.
What did you do with my miserable half-drunk brother? He canceled Bonnie's cell phone, cried until there was nothing left, and got all the grief out of his system.
He is ready to move on.
What? It's about Bonnie.
Damon said she found peace.
He thought Kai had killed her, but he just found out that she's alive, and he's doing everything that he can to-- So you're back to defending him.
Wow! And all it took was one hollow promise to bring Bonnie back.
No.
No, no, no, Jer.
It's not hollow.
Liv's looking for a way to send us over there so that we can find Bonnie and bring her back.
And if you can't? Jer, this is good news.
You're right, Elena.
This is good news.
Tonight, I'm gonna see Bonnie again, and everything is gonna go back to the way it was because I have never heard that before.
I brought you to Mystic Falls to keep you safe from your crazy-ass witch family.
You can't just leave because Damon wants you to do some spell.
So, what, I'm a prisoner here? Do I look like Rapunzel? Well, actually.
Look.
Why can't Luke do it? Because he is busy enjoying his last few weeks as a singular twin with his sugar daddy radiologist, and I'd like to enjoy mine.
Matt, help me out here.
I can't.
It's for Bonnie.
Tyler, I can't stay locked up in here any longer.
I'm out of clothes, and I've had pizza for breakfast every day this week.
We've got to get back to our normal lives.
If you leave and your coven finds you-- They'll make me merge with my brother? Hey.
It's not all bad.
If I survive, you'll be dating the all-powerful leader of the Gemini coven, and if I don't, you can date Luke.
Hey.
This isn't a joke to me, ok? Well, I have to laugh at it because if I start imagining my life stuck in this town running away from my family, I will fall apart.
I'll find a way.
And that was an actual fight two people just had over a twin-merge? This town is so weird.
You'll get used to it.
Or I won't, and a vampire will kill me like they killed your friend Tripp.
That's not gonna happen because I won't let it.
And with that, the Mystic Falls community protection program is officially disbanded.
You know what that means.
I helped you, now you help me.
Time for a little family reunion.
What does Matt want with Stefan? I don't know.
It's Matt.
Food, money, new social class.
Whatever it is, it better distract Stefan from his sizeable screw-up with Caroline.
Did you know about that, how she felt about him? She told me a little while back, and whatever you're thinking, I want both of them to be happy.
Even if she compels away all the things she likes about him? Hey.
Thanks for doing this.
Don't worry about.
I needed an excuse to get out of that frat house.
Way too much boy.
Gross.
You got everything? Yep.
Blood from a Bennett-- Lucy to be exact-- and an Ascendant from whatever the hell your last name is.
Parker.
So this is the famous Ascendant? Yup.
Surprised that Jo gave it up.
Why? It's the only thing keeping Kai locked in his prison.
If he gets out, he's coming after Jo.
Well, good old Jo-- heh heh--helping us out.
Can we do this, please? Whatever.
So I'm gonna need the moon to activate the Ascendant.
It will be viable for about 8 hours, so once I send you over, the clock's ticking.
And how do we get back? Drink these.
What is that? It's my blood.
It will link you to me so I can find you and bring you back.
Give this one to Bonnie, too.
Are you waiting for a toast? Drink.
Mmm.
Bitter.
Wonder why.
Shall we? Hey.
I used to come here every day after the accident for months.
This is where your parents are buried.
Yeah, but not in 1994.
In 1994, they were still alive.
Yeah.
So is Bonnie.
So let's go get her.
Just keep your eyes peeled.
There's a pork rind-munching freak somewhere around here.
Ok? Yeah.
Come on.
You ever worn skinny jeans? Agh.
It seems wrong.
I'm all bunched up.
Also, why are jeans so tight when phones are so big? I don't know what to tell you, pal.
Oh, God.
I'm that guy, right? That guy that won't shut up.
Oh, I hate that guy.
I just sat next to that guy on the plane.
He was the worst.
Hey.
Speaking of planes, have you flown recently? Because what's with the whole liquid situation and the stripping before you go through security thing? It's weird.
They're worried about terrorists.
Ok.
Well, I'm sorry, but the real terrorists are some of those people taking off their shoes.
I know I'm chatty.
Sorry.
I've just been in prison for awhile.
Not like a regular prison, you know, more like a All right.
We're here.
Special kind of That will be 30.
All right.
Jeans.
Uh, will you take this? Hang on.
Hang on.
I got it.
Oh.
Hey.
Gum.
Nice.
Come on, buddy.
I don't have all day.
Let's go.
I got it.
Hold on.
Huh.
Well I guess this will do.
Thank you.
Bonnie? Nothing.
You? No, and I looked in every room plus the basement.
Damon, you--you don't think that Kai-- Look.
Let's not jump to depressing conclusions yet, ok? Ok.
Oh, my god.
Damon.
Oh, my god, Damon.
This is blood.
And we're jumping.
What are you doing? If Kai has Bonnie, we need to talk.
So you're gonna call him? I'm gonna page him actually.
Sorry.
Forgot you were two in 1994.
Pagers are an ancient form of telecommunication.
I know what a pager is.
How does it work? We dial jackass's number We leave our number And then we hang up.
And now what? And now we sit by the phone like a 13-year-old girl and wait.
Relax.
I'm about to meet one of my only living relatives.
Uh, technically, he's not living.
So Stefan has extended family.
I'm intrigued.
Enzo, what the hell are you doing here? Apparently rescuing this one from the world's most dreadful lunch.
Matt and Stefan? Sweetheart, you can do so much better.
Me for example.
I'm Enzo.
The guy who killed Tripp.
Oh, my God.
For the record, he did try and kill me first.
You are the most terrible wingman.
Enzo, leave.
Or what? Or maybe I'll pick up where Tripp left off.
Go on then.
Hey.
I really wouldn't do that if I were you.
You hurt him, and, uh, I hurt you, and really don't feel like cleaning up two corpses today.
Making threats in front of impressionable family.
How brutish.
What are you talking about? Me.
He's, uh, talking about me.
I'm Zach and Gail's daughter Sarah Salvatore.
Um Well, I am officially in hell.
This place is my own personal hell.
Whoa! Oh.
Hey! What was that? Uh, it's my audition tape for "Real World: London.
" Fingers crossed.
I think I'm finally gonna make it.
That was a video journal.
What? No.
Journals are lame, especially video ones.
Then why did you say you thought this was your own personal hell? Well, I mean, because I was stuck here with Bonnie.
What could be worse than that? Damon.
Kai, if you so much as hurt one hair on her annoying little witch head, I will kill you and-- That was so sweet.
Why'd you ruin it by calling me annoying? Bonnie? Elena? Elena, is that you? Yes! It's me.
I'm here.
I'm at the Salvatore house inin 1994.
I can't believe I'm hearing your voice right now.
How are you here? It's a long story.
Just know that I'm here to get you.
Ahh.
So Kai just left you in Portland? After cooking me Thanksgiving spaghetti and stealing my blood.
It's been a strange few days.
Where is he now? Don't know.
I hotwired a car, and I'm on my way back to Mystic Falls.
Hang on.
You hotwired a car? Who are you? A badass apparently.
A badass in Muncie.
Well, Muncie's about give or take a knuckle.
Liv's pulling us out in 7.
If you don't stop to use the little witches' room anymore I can make it in time.
I'm going home.
You're coming home.
We'll see you soon.
Ok.
You're worried about Kai.
If he's got Bonnie's blood and the Ascendant, he's got everything he needs to get out.
What if he's already out? How can I help you? One Zima, please.
Hilarious.
Are you going to order something or just gonna stare? Ok.
Uh, how about a soda Liv? Heh.
Liv.
Ironic.
Where is it? That's a cryptic question, accusatory tone.
This doesn't bode well for me.
Good.
Deflect, make a joke.
That'll fix this.
What are you talking about? The Ascendant.
Where is it? I have no idea.
You must think I'm an idiot.
To be fair, I am one.
Wine, Thai food, that's all it takes.
Jo, I don't have it.
Did you tell Damon where it is? No.
No.
Look.
We all agreed to find another way to get Bonnie back.
Do you honestly think this is my normal afternoon reading? You and I are the only ones who knew where it was.
It's gone! Ok.
Look.
I swear to you I didn't tell anyone, ok? I would never tell anybody.
You're right.
You'd never tell anyone.
It doesn't mean you didn't.
What are you saying? Damon is a vampire.
Are you saying Damon compelled me? Heh.
Look.
He wouldn't do that.
He's my friend.
Ok.
Let's prove it.
We're going to Mystic Falls.
If you're compelled, it will go away when we walk across the border.
If nothing happens, then you're right.
He's your friend.
Bon appetit.
Hang on.
What? Nothing.
Let's eat.
Ok.
Who mangled the crossword? illiterate witch, B.
This is about Kai and Jo.
Yep.
Kai's greatest hits staring us in the face every day.
If Kai's out, he's gonna go after Jo again.
Damon, he's gonna kill her.
Well, if I have my Gemini rules down, actually, he's going to merge with her, which will most likely result in her death, which I guess is 6 of 1-- Then why would she give you the Ascendant? Um Because I asked her very nicely? You want some music maybe? I'm gonna turn on some music.
It was the one thing trapping Kai, and she just gave it to you? We have Nirvana, Nine Inch Nails, Boyz II Men--Stefan's.
Damon.
Fine.
She didn't give it to me.
Alaric stole it from her.
Alaric stole from her.
After I compelled him.
What? Elena, stop.
Of course you compel your best friend.
I mean, why would that be off limits? Hey.
I'm trying to get Bonnie back! Oh, just--just--no.
Don't.
Damon, I want Bonnie back more than anything.
She's my best friend, but to you, she's something else, isn't she? She's a chance for me to realize what a great guy you are so that I can fall in love with you all over again.
It doesn't matter who gets hurt in the process as long as Damon gets what Damon wants.
She's saying you're stupid, and Stefan is agreeing.
Ooh.
Now she's saying you're good for nothing, and Stefan is disagreeing.
He says you're a great punch line to a joke.
Everyone hates you.
Don't be jealous you can't vamp hear because you're a big blond bowl of mush.
Just be thankful I don't fancy mush.
So after the third group home, I got myself emancipated, which is surprisingly difficult, by the way.
Yeah.
You seem like the type that would do better on your own.
Hey.
Do you want a drink? Sure.
Hey.
Excuse me.
Can we get two chocolate milk shakes, please? It's a, uh, Salvatore family tradition.
I'm all for family traditions.
All right.
Listen.
In 10 seconds, you're gonna get up and walk out of here with me, smiling, acting like nothing's wrong.
The acting part shouldn't be too hard for you.
I know you're lying.
Ready to go? Hey.
Where you guys going? Oh, just a little family drive.
It's ok, Matt, I promise.
I'll call you in a bit.
All right.
You on Twitter? Ah.
I just signed up.
You should follow me.
Cobrakai1972.
Come on.
Like "Karate Kid"? Did you know you can follow celebrities? Heh.
They all Twitter the stupidest things.
It's--it's hilarious.
It's kind of dead.
I think I'm gonna close up.
Oh.
Hang on, hang on.
I'm gonna get a real drink.
No bourbon.
I'm secure enough in my masculinity.
Vodka's boring, rum's too tropical.
Ooh.
Tequila.
You do not want to see me on Tequila.
What about gin? Is that weird? Not if you're a 50-year-old, but seeing as you look 19, I'm gonna need to see some I.
D.
Oh.
Of course.
Of course.
No.
True story, but that's not the most interesting thing on that I.
D.
Here.
Look again.
Name, address.
Malachai Parker.
Oh, my God.
Ahhh.
- Last time I saw you - Aah! I was trying to kill you.
Why don't we pick up where we left off? I don't think so.
Ugh! Life is so much easier with magic.
Unh! Feels kind of like cheating.
I'm sad you didn't recognize me.
That means dad erased all trace of my existence-- family pictures, movies, little handprint turkey I made.
What a dick.
You stay the hell away from me.
You were always so bad at hide-and-seek.
I mean, you were 4, but still, find a better hiding spot.
Aah! I think she did just fine.
Let's get out of here.
You don't find it the least bit strange that they just up and left? I told you she's his family.
If they want to talk, let them talk.
What the hell do you care? Because I care about the truth, care about authenticity.
Or you just hate Stefan.
I do actually, yeah.
He abandoned his brother, turned me over to a vampire hunter, and he hurt the one girl who can honestly do no wrong.
That's not why I care.
No.
I care because he does all that and is still considered a hero when I get stuck being a villain.
Yeah, because you kill people.
What, and Stefan doesn't? Come on.
You and I both know that's not true.
I'm just up front about it, but Stefan, no, who knows what he's done? He's just a liar with a little box of secrets.
Come on, Mush.
Let's open the box.
I told you Zach Salvatore is my father, Gail is my mother.
I have these pictures.
Ah.
That's your big evidence, a picture you stole? You gave yourself up the second you got in the car.
Why don't you believe me? Because right now, Sarah Salvatore is in her dorm room at Duke university, where she studies as an art major, and she didn't bounce from group home to group home.
She was adopted right out of the hospital by a great family.
I made sure of it.
You know her.
She's my family.
Even though she doesn't know me, I've looked out for her for her entire life.
Now who the hell are you? Monique.
My name is Monique.
May 10, 1994, I had a day.
I was mad at Stefan for something.
I don't even remember what it was, and in typical Damon fashion, I acted out.
People died.
A lot of them, and believe it or not, ever since that day, I've felt horribly guilty.
So I thought that this was my hell, Elena But you know who didn't? Bonnie.
She had hope for both of us.
She's the reason I survived, the reason I made it out.
Who knew? Turns out you spend time with someone and don't kill them, you actually become friends.
I'm doing this for Bonnie, Elena, not for you.
And that's it.
Damon and Bonnie.
Who would have thought? Pfft.
Don't make this any weirder than it needs to be.
She's probably passing Whitmore right now.
If she's not lost.
She has a terrible sense of direction.
You know, I could have sworn that this used to squeak.
It did.
I fixed it.
Bonnie and I came here every day.
It as the closest thing I had to a picture of you, and I needed every reminder I could get.
It's funny.
I used to have so many good memories of this house, and after just one bad one, I burned it down.
I just couldn't bear to look at it again.
I just can't believe it's gone.
You want to go inside? Yeah.
Yeah, I do.
I'm sorry I compelled away the memories.
They were only half mine.
We'll make new ones.
Do you feel that? Oh, no.
No.
No.
We shouldn't be back yet.
Damon, we have another hour.
What did you do? Kai is here.
We have to get back to Mystic Falls before he takes any more of her magic.
No.
Send me back first.
I can't.
Bonnie was on her way.
Send me back! Unh! Elena, you're over the border.
I'm sorry, Elena.
No.
No.
I met Sarah at sleep-away camp, or as my foster family liked to call it, get the hell out of my house camp.
Sarah had a great life.
Me? Not so much.
So when I found out that she had no desire to find her real family-- You decided to find them for her.
Couldn't be any worse than what I had.
Well, considering the fact that my brother killed her mom while she was pregnant, I don't know about that.
I let him believe that the baby died.
I wanted to protect her.
Even though my brother's not the same person he was before, it's safer if he doesn't know.
I know that may be a little bit extreme, but I want her to have a normal life no matter what.
See, the problem is with you around, there's a thread now, someone who knows her other than me.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
I just need you to take off your Vervain.
You've never met or heard of Sarah Salvatore.
Forget everything that happened here, leave Virginia, and never come back.
Hey! You ok? Who are you? You compelled her? Why? She's not my family, she's a con artist, and I'm just trying to get rid of her.
Get out of here.
Aah! What the hell? No screaming, luv, and don't move.
Enzo, what are you doing? I want the whole story, the one not obscured by the dulcet tones of a blender.
I told you she's a con artist.
There is no Sarah Salvatore.
That baby died when Damon killed her mom.
Then why listen to this one blather on for 20 minutes, why whisk her away to speak privately, hmm? Why wipe her memory, Stefan? She knows something.
Come on.
Don't do this.
Just let her go.
See? He's digging in.
Can always spot a liar.
How about a countdown? That's fair for everyone, right? Enzo, let her go, or I swear-- You'll what? I will kill you.
Will you? Because Stefan's 5 seconds are up.
No! Don't be stupid.
Don't be stupid.
Just think.
All of this could have been avoided if you'd have just told the truth.
No matter.
I'll find out sooner or later.
Bonnie's gonna get to the house, and we will be gone.
Until the next comet or full moon or eclipse.
As long as we have that, we can go back as many times as we need until we get her back.
Wait.
Are you guys talking about Bonnie Bennett? Because honestly, I didn't think she was all that great.
No! I am gonna enjoy the hell out of this.
Oh, hey.
Me, too.
Oh, yeah.
Damon, I, uh, I stole some of Liv's magic when I tried to kill her.
Think some of it might still be in my system, so pardon me.
Unh! Uh-uh-uh.
You missed one.
Phesmatos incendia.
Aah! No! Aah! Unh! Oh, God.
You ok? Huh.
I guess this is that, uh, antimagic border, which means now there's a psycho loose in Mystic Falls and no vampires around to stop him.
Whoops.
Look.
I'm sorry that Enzo killed her.
He's-- A monster.
Yeah, I know, but you could have stopped him, and you didn't.
What, you think that was easy for me, watching an innocent girl die? I don't know actually.
You're not exactly the sharing type.
Matt, I promise you that everything I do I have thought out over and over, making sure it's the right thing to do.
So we're just supposed to trust that you know best? No.
You're supposed to trust that I'm nothing like Enzo.
The problem is you are because no matter how close vampires get to humans, our lives will always mean less, so when push comes to shove, we'll be on opposite sides, which is what Tripp knew and I didn't.
Jeremy? Let me guess.
She's not with you? She was on her way, but-- but at the last minute, something went wrong, and it didn't work.
I bet Damon's fine, isn't he? Don't do that.
Why not? Because I think channeling your rage might be a better option.
How do you feel about being a hunter again? Why? Because I want you to help me kill Enzo.
So Jo drove me across the border.
I told her she was crazy, that you'd never compel me.
Look, Ric.
We had to get Bonnie back.
Getting Bonnie back was never off the table.
What was off the table was compelling me to steal from my girlfriend when we had promised her we'd keep her brother locked way.
- Yeah, I know.
- Where is he--Kai? He's out, but it's not our fa-- I left Bonnie a note at the house.
I told her we would be on your front porch.
She'd probably be there now with about a half an hour to spare.
She sacrificed everything for us over and over again, and then we were supposed to be there for her.
She's all alone.
I think gin gets a bad rap.
I'd rather not kill you, but I will.
What the hell do you want? This is gonna sound crazy, but I'm want to save Liv's life.
Feel like making a deal with the devil?