Drop Dead Diva s06e10 Episode Script
No Return
See that aspiring model there? That's me Deb until the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up, and I woke up in someone else's body.
[Screams.]
So now I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend, Stacy and my guardian angel, Paul.
I used to think everything happened for a reason.
Whoo! [Laughs.]
Now, I sure hope I was right.
La, la, la, la-la-la-la Previously on "Drop Dead Diva" Oh, look, Owen and Grayson are here.
- Grayson! Grayson! - [Gunshots, people screaming.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Where am I? Grayson, you're in the hospital.
Do you remember what happened? My boyfriend is gonna propose, and I'm not supposed to know about it - Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- [Alarm beeping.]
- [Indistinct talking.]
- Grayson.
What's happening? - The bullet fragment embolized and blocked the pulmonary artery.
He's in V-fib.
All right.
Put the pads on now.
Roll him towards me.
Charging the 360.
- All clear? - Clear.
Shock.
- Asystole.
- Check for pulse.
Negative.
No pulse.
[Alarms blaring.]
I'm calling it.
Time of death 5:17 PM.
[Sobbing.]
Sweetie, have you packed yet? I'm not going to London with you, Stacy.
I just can't do it.
You haven't left the house for seven days since Grayson's funeral.
I'm going back to bed.
No, Jane.
Listen.
Right now, I know what's best for you.
Stacy, you should be with Owen, planning your wedding.
Taking you out of town was Owen's idea.
He's worried about you, too.
You're not gonna give up, are you? It's something I learned from my best friend.
Okay.
Fine.
Okay.
[Door closes.]
[Sighs.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
I need to talk to you about Grayson.
What is there to say? Owen, he was a dear friend to me, but we can't let his death take down the firm.
Kim.
He was next in line for partner, and now he's gone.
And for all practical purposes, Jane is, too.
We need to make a new hire.
Oh, my God.
Do you hear what you're saying? I do.
And now I need you to hear me.
We're partners.
And if we can't fill the void, the firm is in trouble, and you know that.
We have to clean out his office and find a replacement.
You know I'm right.
Kim, there's a man with a puppet in your office.
[Sighs.]
Yeah, I know.
It's my 10:00.
I got to go.
So nice to meet you.
Hey, what about me? Don't talk to him.
He's just my hired hand.
Micky, please.
I am so sorry.
Micky didn't get enough sleep last night.
Okay.
Uh, on the phone, you mentioned that you were having some sort of problem with KB Airlines? Micky and I perform all over the country.
I no longer "bag check" Micky because, well, 10 years ago, they lost him.
Oh, I wasn't lost.
I was in hell! Or maybe it was Detroit.
Uh, I always get those two mixed up.
I never want to hear the words "Let me check your bag" again unless it's followed by "Turn your head and cough.
" It took two days to get Micky back.
And ever since then, it is in my venue contract that Micky gets his own ticket and his own seat.
It's the least those cheap bastards can do.
Well, 10 years ago, when all this happened, I enrolled Micky under KB Airlines' frequent flyer program under the name Micky Woodhead.
And they always gave him his points as long as I kept buying him a seat.
Okay.
Show her the letter.
Yeah, yeah.
So, only yesterday, we get this letter from the Airlines telling us that we're in violation of KB Airlines' frequent flyer program.
They've cancelled both of your accounts.
That's over 2 million miles.
[Sighs.]
Look, the thing is, Micky and I finally started using those miles to travel the world.
Help us, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
You're our only hope.
It sounds like the airline is gonna argue that your creation of an account for Micky constitutes fraud.
So why don't I set up a meeting with KB Airlines and we'll see about getting both of your accounts back? Then maybe you and me can have dinner somewhere romantic? Yeah.
You're cute, but I don't date clients or props.
Jane.
Uh, w-what are you doing here? You're supposed to be on your way to the airport with Stacy.
I left my passport in my desk.
How are you holding up? I-I'm fine.
Do you need to talk? - I'm not ready.
- Sure.
What? What the hell are you doing? Uh, Owen asked me to clean out Grayson's office.
I didn't know you were gonna be here.
This is not okay.
I will go through Grayson's things.
No one else.
And it can wait until I get back from my trip.
I'm sorry.
I-I thought this would be easier.
Excuse me.
I'm Penny Hobbs.
I'm looking for Grayson Kent.
He's representing me in my defamation case.
Is everything okay? Grayson was killed last week.
Oh, God.
We'll contact the court and get a continuance.
Of course.
I'm so sorry.
You know what, Penny? We don't need a continuance.
I'll represent you.
I'm I'm sorry.
Who are you? I'm Jane Bingum.
I'm a partner here.
And I was Grayson's girlfriend.
Penny, would you mind waiting in reception and give us just one minute? Of course.
Paul! I thought I told you to call the court clerks and notify them about Grayson so they could notify his clients.
I called the first clerk.
But I couldn't get the words out.
- I was too emotional.
- Excuse me.
Paul, can you put the box in my office? And I'm gonna go speak to my client.
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
You are in no condition to work.
Grayson told me all about this case.
It was important to him, so it's important to me.
I'm up to speed.
- You're up to speed? - Yes.
A few months ago, Penny's younger brother was killed when his car was broadsided by Tom Jessup, a drunk driver.
Now, thanks to Tom's high-priced attorney, he was acquitted and never spent a single day in prison.
Now he is suing Penny for $3 million for defamation.
The drunk driver is suing the victim's sister? Yes.
Penny was upset that Tom literally got away with murder, and she decided she had to do something.
Penny's a computer programmer, so she hacked into Tom's employer's website and posted the word "Murderer" next to Tom's name in the employee directory.
Now he's suing her.
Listen, Owen I need to represent her for Grayson.
There's nothing you can say that can stop me.
Hey.
I've been waiting in the cab for 20 minutes for Jane.
- Where is she? - Meeting with a client.
No, no, no.
We're going to London.
I'm sorry.
She's helping one of Grayson's clients.
It's the first time she's looked interested in anything since he died.
Oh.
Well, then it's a good thing, although I was looking forward to seeing the real Downton Abbey.
[Both chuckle.]
Excuse me.
- Owen.
- Hey.
Oh! Hey.
Are you seriously eating a doughnut? [Sighs.]
I'm stressed out.
Is that doughnut helping? I think it might be, yeah.
Owen, we had a deal.
You give up empty calories, I give up buying matching outfits for the twins.
I'm a weak man, Stacy.
I want you to be healthy for the babies.
I'll go to the gym tonight.
Hmm? Ever since you read that story on shower fungus, you've been terrified of the gym.
You could lose a foot.
- Thank you.
- Thanks for caring.
Now that your paperwork is processed, you'll be evaluated to determine the next step.
I'm sorry, but what's going on? - You died.
- No, I didn't.
I mean, I was shot, but the bullet didn't kill me.
The bullet shifted and entered your bloodstream.
It wasn't the doctor's fault in case you're hoping your relatives can sue.
This can't be happening.
Your supervisor will explain everything.
Anyone here? I'm sorry.
I bent down to tie my shoe and realized I was wearing loafers! [Chuckles.]
- Oh, my God, you're Grayson.
- Do I know you? N-no.
No.
Why why would you know me? Um, nice to meet you.
I'm Fred.
Grayson, I am so sorry you're here.
You seem familiar.
Have we met? N-no.
I mean, even if I had been somebody's guardian angel on earth and we had just happened to have met during that time, your memory would have been completely wiped clean of me.
Just saying.
Look.
I-I think there's been some sort of mistake here.
I mean, I'm healthy.
We don't make mistakes.
Wow.
I'm reviewing your life, and I am delighted to see that you were planning on proposing to Jane.
She's an amazing human.
- You know Jane? - No.
No.
It just I'm reading the file, which also says you were friends with a, uh, S-S-Stacy? H-how is how is she? - Good.
She's getting married.
- What?! I'm guessing you don't know Stacy, either? No.
How could I possibly know her? - I'm just an intake supervisor.
- Hmm.
Uh, anyway.
[Clears throat.]
Uh, if you're ready, I am happy to show you to your afterlife.
Oh, no.
I'm not going to the afterlife.
I'm not done with this life.
Uh.
Yes.
We uh we hit this a lot.
Especially from young lawyers.
No offense, but attorneys tend to think awfully high of themselves.
Uh, there is a lounge down the hall.
They serve coffee and blueberry muffins.
Take all the time you need.
And when you are ready to move on, you just come on back and see me.
My client, Penny Hobbs, hacked into Tom Jessup's corporate directory and inserted the word "Murderer" next to his name.
We don't dispute that.
But truth is a complete defense for defamation.
And the fact that the jury found that Tom was not guilty of vehicular homicide is not the same thing as the jury saying that Tom was innocent.
His lawyer played the system.
Don't let him play you.
Objection.
Watch yourself, Miss Bingum.
Of course.
That man convinced a judge to throw out a breathalyzer report based on a claimed calibration error.
But, see, that report showed that Tom's blood alcohol content was .
18, well over the legal limit.
And Tom got away with murder.
My client didn't defame Tom.
She exposed the truth even when our justice system failed to recognize it.
I'm asking you to do the right thing here.
Find in favor of my client, a woman who is grieving for her brother.
Since your airline has been accepting my client's money for over a decade without objection, you're legally estopped from claiming that Mr.
Gerlin committed any sort of fraud by enrolling Micky in the program.
That's right, lady.
You be estopped.
Not sure what that means, but I like it.
It sounds dirty.
We're not revoking Mr.
Gerlin's miles due to fraud or even because Micky's not a human being, but rather for violating our conduct policy.
- I'm confused.
- Yeah, and I'm bored.
Why don't you two ladies settle this the old-fashioned way, a Jell-O wrestling? - Shh! - Okay, fine.
We can make it pudding.
Mr.
Gerlin and Micky are offensive and they've harassed passengers.
It's all documented by our flight attendants in this incident report.
There's over 20 complaints here.
Micky and I have fun with other passengers, but we never meant to offend anyone.
This report was prepared by airline employees and not actual passengers, correct? Yes, that's right.
Good.
We'll see you in court.
I was just thinking about you.
Really? Because I was just thinking about you.
- I brought you a gift.
- Oh.
It's a fit clip.
- A fit clip? - Mm-hmm.
It measures your fitness every step, every calorie and then it sends it to my phone.
How the heck does it do that? Computer magic or tiny fitness robots.
I don't know.
So, whenever you're feeling lazy, just remember mama is watching.
This is ridiculous.
How about this? Every time you hit the 4-mile mark, - we'll do that thing you like.
- What thing? [Whispering.]
- Long live the fit clip.
- [Chuckles.]
How was court? Well, the jury was sympathetic.
But without the breathalyzer, I need some physical evidence that at least suggests Tom was drunk.
So Oh, God.
What is it? It's, uh, a wedding announcement from the Newport Cove Hotel.
Grayson knew that I wanted to get married there.
So he must have cut this out of the paper, I-I guess, and it got mixed up with the files.
I'm sorry.
You know that Princess Julia of Andora got married there? And Grayson and I were watching the footage of the reception, which was leaked to TMZ, and I said, "What a perfect spot for a wedding.
" - [Telephone ringing.]
- Excuse me.
This is Jane.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
I-I'll be right there.
- Don't talk to anyone.
- What happened? My client was arrested for criminal hacking.
She's in jail.
Your honor, KB Airlines has no basis to void my client's miles.
Our passengers were offended, as documented in the incident report.
That incident report was filled out by flight attendants.
We can provide live testimony from actual passengers.
Great.
Let's get to it.
Ms.
Nagahara, did my client say anything to you? Yes.
I told Greg that I'm from Hawaii, and Micky asked if he could "lei" me.
Were you offended? No! It was hilarious.
I approached Greg and told him I'd seen his show five times.
And Micky asked if they could project the in-flight movie off my head? - And were you insulted? - Oh, no.
Not at all.
I got a chance to talk to Micky.
Micky asked if he could sit on my lap so I could feel his wood.
Were you offended at his overt sexual harassment? Oh, hell no.
I wish my husband treated me that way.
Nothing further.
Are you seriously charging my client with criminal hacking? Miss Bingum, Penny breached the firewall of a fortune 500 company and she admitted her crime in open court or, I should say, you did that for her.
What are you talking about? You told the jury that Penny hacked into Tom's corporate directory.
I'm asking for the maximum sentence, three years in prison.
Oh, come on.
Penny's grieving for her dead brother.
She still violated the law.
Are you at least open to making a deal? I'll make some calls.
I'll get back to you.
Mr.
Gerlin, do you make fun of people? We have fun with people.
There is a difference.
And did any of the passengers on any of your flights complain to you about your comments? No.
Actually, there was some complaints about Greg's flatulence when we were flying over Ohio.
His voice isn't the only thing he can throw.
Speaking of which, your honor, when you fart under that robe, do you float up to the ceiling like a hot air balloon? [Sighs.]
All right.
I've heard enough.
As a society, we sometimes take ourselves too seriously.
Greg's act is harmless, which is why I'm ordering the airline to restore both of his accounts with the full balance of his miles.
Miss Kaswell, you might want to share this with your client.
It's a copy of the airline's new carry-on policy.
No puppets over 24 inches permitted in the cabin? You've got to be kidding me.
There's no rational basis for this rule.
The 1978 Airline Deregulation act gives us broad discretion to promulgate any rule we want so long as air safety's not compromised.
Could we bring it up to the judge? You could, but the airline's immune from state oversight.
If Greg wants Micky to fly on our airline, it gets checked with the luggage.
You admitted in open court that your client committed hacking? I was so focused on the civil case, I didn't even consider potential criminal implications.
I'm sorry.
I was upset and I wanted to do Grayson proud, and now I've just messed everything up.
Excuse me.
Um, the ADA's office called.
They're offering a deal for Penny.
One year in prison in exchange for pleading guilty.
Thank you.
I think you should encourage your client to take the plea.
I-I will.
If you want me to take over the civil case, I can step in.
Yeah.
I think that's a good idea.
I don't know what I was trying to prove by taking this case.
I just thought if I could somehow win, it would make Grayson happy.
[Voice breaking.]
But he's gone.
Come here.
[Sobs.]
They're offering one year in prison, in exchange for pleading guilty to criminal hacking.
It is just so wrong that I am in jail and Tom is free.
How can that happen? I'm so sorry, Penny.
I never should have admitted that you hacked the site.
I never tried to hide what I did.
Regardless I didn't help you yesterday, which is why I am gonna step away from representing you - in your defamation case.
- No! Jane My managing partner is gonna step in.
You'll be in excellent hands.
Nobody understands what I am going through better than you.
Losing Grayson has impacted my ability to be effective counsel.
I'm so sorry, Penny.
I really am.
Kim! It's all over the news.
What's all over the news? Your client, Greg Gerlin, was arrested at LAX for violating the Americans with Disabilities act.
He boarded a plane with Micky wearing a "Service Dummy" vest.
What an idiot.
Yeah, he claims that Micky is his seeing-eye dummy and insisted that they both be let on to the plane.
Well, now I have two dummies for clients.
I got to go.
Are you crazy? Pretending to be handicapped just so you could bring your puppet on the plane? Interesting.
For once, you don't have a retort.
Is everything just one big joke to you? Look.
I-I'm s-s-s-sorry.
I can't talk with-out M-M-Mic-ky.
Are you serious? Here you go.
Oh, thank God you finally got here.
That evidence room was like Oz! I mean, a sawed-off shotgun named Bubba tried to make me his wife.
Okay.
What's going on? Look.
I've [Sighs.]
I've had this stutter since I was a kid.
I-I went to a speech pathologist, and and he used puppets in his therapy, and it worked.
I found that as long as I was working with a puppet, my impediment went away.
How do you like that? Of the two of us, I'm the normal one.
The condition is called selective mutism.
So, you never weaned yourself off the puppet? Uh, excuse me.
We prefer to be called mannequin Americans.
Uh, no, I never did.
I actually, I made a career out of it.
And the great thing is, me and Micky never have to be apart.
Call the police.
I'm not a willing participant.
This is good.
I can get the criminal charges dropped because you actually have a disability, which means the airline can't keep you from bringing Micky on board.
I'll file a petition with the court and we'll get Micky recognized as a fluency device.
- That is not gonna happen.
- Why? I don't want to be known as the stuttering ventriloquist.
Greg, I can get this case dropped.
There has to be another way.
I [Sighs.]
could try to argue selective prosecution.
Uh, explain that so that a dummy or a member of congress could understand it.
Look, you are a ventriloquist.
Micky is your puppet.
Mannequin American! He's the tool of your trade.
I need to find out if the airline is allowing other professionals to bring the tools of their trade on board even if those tools violate airline policy.
I'll have the judge order discovery and we'll go from there.
Owen is rocking his cardio.
According to his fit clip account, he just burned 412 calories in the past hour.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure the purpose of that app is not for you to spy on him.
Ah! His calorie-burn meter just spiked again.
He is a maniac! Why is he working so hard? Oh, well, because [Chuckles.]
I told him that I would Would you do that? I would.
[Laughs.]
Aw.
Grayson would be happy you're laughing.
Yeah, I know.
What's all this stuff? Uh, Grayson's things from the office.
Look.
A legal beagles basketball trophy? Yeah.
[Laughs.]
Oh, the Newport Cove Hotel.
Isn't that where Princess Julia got married? I think that Grayson was considering this hotel for our wedding.
The clipping must have gotten mixed up in case files.
Well, the Newport Cove Hotel is the perfect venue.
- Yeah.
- But not at this time of year.
Why? What do you mean? This couple got married in January.
Brr! I have been there, and the breeze comes right off the ocean.
Look at the poor bride.
She didn't wear a bra.
- Oh.
- I know.
It is so tacky.
That's why God invented nipple covers.
Wait a minute, Stacy.
The day of the wedding was January 15th.
That's the same night my client's brother was killed.
That's a weird coincidence.
I don't think that it is.
[Keyboard clacking.]
Grayson, ready to move on? No.
First, I have some questions.
You seem to know a lot about Stacy, Deb, Jane, me.
I'm very intuitive.
I knew we put Chaz Bono in the wrong body before anybody else.
Cut the act, Fred.
Jane told me she was up here and she pressed a "Return" button.
You know more than you're letting on.
Okay.
Look.
Um, the truth is when Deb went back to earth in Jane's body, I was her guardian angel for a little while.
It was a job imposed on me, because I screwed up and let her press the Return button.
I'd like to see that button.
I'm sorry.
Just recently, they removed all of the "Return" buttons from the computer keyboards.
[Sighs.]
Do you realize how hard it is to type without a "Return" button? Oh, God.
I need to get back to earth.
I need to get back to Jane.
I'm sorry, Grayson.
I wish I could help you, but you have to move on.
The date on the announcement is January 15th.
That's the same night Tom killed Penny's brother.
Grayson put this clipping in the file on purpose.
I've been doing a little research.
Turns out the bride is Tom's first cousin.
And get this.
She was getting married to Gunner Callaghan, the police commissioner's son.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's huge.
I know.
See, I thought Tom got away with murder because his attorney messed with the evidence.
But it turns out the police were protecting Tom and protecting indirectly Police Commissioner Callaghan, who was responsible for throwing the wedding where Tom got drunk.
How is it that we're just hearing about this wedding now? Because Tom said that he was with his girlfriend having dinner before the crash.
He never mentioned a wedding.
And the police didn't do any digging, because they were covering for him.
If you go public, you are gonna be going against some very powerful people.
Do you think that scares me? No, of course not.
You need to find a witness that will confirm that Tom was at the wedding, lied about his alibi.
And given that the wedding was for the police commissioner's son, I doubt any of the guests are going to talk.
I don't intend to speak with the guests.
In 2008, the airline allowed a cowboy to travel with a miniature horse even though the airline had a "No horse" policy.
Does that count as a tool of the trade? - Sure does.
Nice work.
- How's it going? We just found a cowboy who travels with a tiny horse.
- Anything else? - Yeah, a scientist who travels with an ice chest of human brains despite the airline's policy against traveling with human tissue.
That's good.
A couple of years ago, I was in first class sitting next to Master Tomahiro.
He's a world-class Sushi chef.
The airline let him travel with his knives.
All right.
We got a tiny horse, human brains, and sharp knives.
Let's go see the judge.
Given that other professionals have been permitted to bring their tools of the trade on to their airplanes, we contend that KB Airlines' refusal to let Micky board with Greg constitutes selective prosecution.
Hey, by the way, what exactly is a miniature horse, - and can I ride one? - Zip it, Micky.
Your honor, Miss Kaswell suggests that Mr.
Gerlin was singled out as part of some vendetta.
- That's right.
- A few minutes before Greg and Micky boarded the plane, Greg tweeted a photo with the caption "Meet my seeing eye dummy.
" A flight attendant saw the tweet and reported the ADA violation to the authorities.
Even so, this is no more egregious than what Miss Kaswell presented the horse, the brains, the Sushi knives.
Those exceptions were all permitted because those flyers asked for permission in advance.
However, Greg not only failed to ask permission, he flaunted his violation on Twitter.
I told you we should have used Snapchat.
[Sighs.]
I've heard enough.
I agree with Miss Burke.
You should have asked permission.
Charges against Mr.
Gerlin will remain in place.
What the? Hey! What? Stacy.
Hey, what's going on? Well, according to the fit clip, you're running right now, uphill and fast.
Oh, that that must be a glitch.
- [Gasps.]
Where is it? - Where is what? [Gasps.]
Do you really want to upset me? - I am carrying your babies! - No.
- Whew! - Oh, God.
Whew! Nothing like a 10k to start the afternoon.
You gave the fit clip to Paul?! I have been monitoring Paul? I-I felt bad for the fit clip.
I-I thought it needed some exercise.
You're never getting the thing again.
- No! - Mnh-mnh.
- No, no.
- No.
What's that thing? Would I like the thing? Maybe I could give you that thing.
Sometimes I think it'd be easier if you could give me that thing, but sadly, you can't.
I hear it's your dream to be married at the Newport Cove Hotel.
As general manager, I'm delighted to help in any way that I can.
That's not why we're meeting today.
Excuse me? We're here to discuss a lawsuit.
I represent Penny Hobbs, whose brother was killed by a guest of the Callaghan wedding on January 15th.
I-I'm sorry.
Y-you should be meeting with our lawyers and not me.
Why don't you just hear me out? Your hotel served alcohol to Tom Jessup, making you liable for my client's brother's death under California host laws.
I need you to produce an employee who worked that night to testify that Tom was inebriated.
Otherwise, Gosh, I don't know, we'll have to file a claim for millions of dollars and then, well, I don't know.
I guess we'll just see what a jury has to say.
[Chuckles.]
The Callaghan wedding was attended by a-an ocean of cops.
And I won't force my employees to speak up against the police.
Well, in that case, I'd like all your hotel security footage from the wedding, and that includes inside the banquet hall and the parking area.
We have never shared our security footage.
[Laughs.]
Oh, now, come on.
That's not even true.
When Princess Julia got married, someone from your hotel leaked that reception footage to TMZ 'cause I totally saw it for, I'm guessing, at least $5,000.
My deal is much better.
Leak the footage to me or I'll sue.
It's up to you.
Great.
You're back.
Yeah.
I got a message you wanted to see me.
I'm not moving on.
Not now, not tomorrow never.
- Grayson - I'm not giving up on Jane.
Glad to hear it.
Neither am I.
What are you talking about? I wasn't always the best guardian angel to Jane.
Uh, I fell in love with Stacy.
I goofed around a lot, especially with Teri in the office.
Truth be told, I sometimes put my own needs in front of Jane's and that was wrong.
I'm sure she forgives you.
I'm also the one who told Jane that you'd think she was crazy if she claimed to be Deb and that if she ever hoped to get you back, you'd have to fall in love with her as Jane.
And I did.
I love her, Fred.
I know.
That's why I'm not letting you move on.
I-I-I thought you said there weren't any more "Return" buttons.
I found this in storage.
It was the last one.
It's still got the button.
I'll probably get demoted for this.
Or worse.
But I owe Jane a lot.
Now, keep in mind, this button is a one-time deal.
They're gonna confiscate this keyboard as soon as they found out what I've done.
Thank you.
So, how does it work? Just, uh press that button.
[Sighs.]
Oh, and and, Grayson uh, give her a hug for me.
[Clears throat.]
Well, congratulations, Mr.
Social Media.
Thanks to your little tweet, you'll probably be spending six months in prison without Micky.
Ooh.
While Greg's in the big house, how about you and me play house? Just us and the miniature horse.
In your dreams, puppet.
[Clears throat.]
Sorry to interrupt.
Uh, bad news.
Greg, the airline's going to kill you.
What? I was putting away the airline discovery, and I found this document called "The Hit List.
" Oh, a hit list.
Now maybe Ryan Seacrest will pay attention to us.
Hey.
How do you get him to talk? Wait.
Why would the airline want to kill me? That doesn't make any sense.
This isn't a hit list in the traditional sense.
And, Greg, I don't think your life is in danger.
But I do think your trouble with the airline is about to fly away.
[Door opens.]
Hey, sweetie.
How was your meeting? Well, I threatened the hotel and now we'll see if they're really scared of me.
Ah, did you give them the old Jane Bingum staredown? No, I get them the Deb Dobkins hair flip.
- Trust me, they're scared.
- [Both chuckle.]
What's going on? I thought you went cold turkey on the baby clothes.
No.
That deal's over because Owen couldn't keep his promise.
He's not wearing the fit clip? - Worse.
He gave it to Paul.
- [Laughs.]
How can I trust someone who commits fit clip fraud? Stacy, who cares? Owen's just not a big fitness guy.
I understand.
And maybe I pushed too hard.
But he lied to me.
So now I intend to buy enough matching baby clothes to dress our kids through puberty.
Stace, let it go.
I can't let it go.
He tricked me.
Yeah.
And who knows how much time the two of you have left together? So if you want to spend it arguing, I say, yeah, argue.
And it's really healthy for your babies, too.
- What? - Your fiancé is alive.
You're gonna have a dream wedding and a perfect life.
[Voice breaking.]
Isn't there anything better that you can do than argue over a freakin' fit clip? [Door closes.]
Ms.
Burke, the airline doesn't make money when people redeem their rewards points on flights, correct? We don't profit from award travelers, but we treat them the same as paying passengers.
Can you please tell us what a "Dead Duck" is? That's outside the scope of permitted questions.
Miss Kaswell, care to explain the basis of this question? With pleasure.
I'd like to introduce into evidence an internal KB Airlines memo entitled "Hit List.
" It contains the names of 5,000 members of KB's frequent flyer program.
Next to my client's name, as well as several others, are the words "Dead Duck.
" Miss Burke, if you refuse to answer, I will hold you in contempt.
Dead Ducks are frequent flyers who have banked over a million miles yet no longer purchase new tickets.
And tell us about the Hit List.
The hit list memo emphasizes the need to discourage these Dead Ducks from continuing to book award flights on KB Airlines as they are costing the Airlines millions.
Your honor, we contend that by targeting the Dead Ducks, the airline is engaging in Selective prosecution.
- Damn right.
- Agreed.
I am dismissing all charges against Mr.
Gerlin.
And I'm also handing over this list to the AUSA's office.
I'm sure they're gonna have a field day with this one.
Oh, and unless you want sanctions, allow Mr.
Gerlin and Micky back on board immediately.
- Yes! - Thank you.
Your honor, this is the security camera footage produced by Newport Cove Hotel from the night of the Callaghan wedding.
Now, Tom Jessup claimed that he was out to dinner with his girlfriend.
But here is Tom at the hotel bar.
Will your honor look at the time stamp? And here is Tom getting into his car at 10:34 PM.
My client's brother's car was struck by Tom 13 minutes later.
Clearly, Tom was impaired when this horrible crash occurred.
You were the prosecutor in a criminal trial.
How did you not subpoena that footage? Uh, because ADA Lowry was a guest at the same wedding Tom attended.
In fact, here is a still photograph taken at the wedding of ADA Lowry doing a shot with his good buddy Commissioner Callaghan.
The prosecution of Tom Jessup was a joke from the very beginning.
ADA Lowry, along with Callaghan's police cronies, never had any intention of convicting Tom.
Mr.
Lowry, this is disturbing.
Your honor, we're asking that you order a new criminal trial of Tom Jessup.
Under double jeopardy, your honor, the defendant cannot be retried for the same crime.
- Trial was fixed! - [Scoffs.]
Which means that jeopardy never attached.
I agree.
The district attorney's office would still need to prosecute and your honor cannot force us to do that.
Unfortunately, the ADA is correct.
Well, maybe so.
But it is within your discretion to appoint a special prosecutor, especially since the entire DA's office may be under corrupt influence.
Would you consider appointing one? [Indistinct conversations.]
Hi, Tom.
I'm so sorry to interrupt your evening, but Tom has a date with me tonight.
Are you crazy? Do you know who you're messing with? Um, well, let's see.
Your first question Am I crazy? No.
[Laughs.]
I don't think so.
No, and your second question oh, Do I know who you are? Well, yeah.
You're a murderer.
Oh, God.
Now let me ask a question.
Do you know who I am? You give up? I'm the newly appointed special prosecutor.
Officers, please arrest Tom Jessup on the charges of vehicular homicide, obstruction of justice, and criminal conspiracy.
[Panting.]
Hey! Hey.
Seven more minutes on this thing.
Owen, I know you hate this machine.
Hate is a strong word.
But in this case I love you so much for sweating on this machine just to make me happy.
And I want you to be healthy so we can live a long life together.
But I never want to put you in a position where you have to lie to me.
No, I shouldn't have given the fit clip to Paul.
I'm sorry.
That was just wrong.
I happen to know another way to get your heart rate up.
O-oh.
Does it, uh involve that thing that I like? It does if you do that thing that I like.
Ooh.
[Chuckles.]
Just so we're clear, that thing you like, I like doing it to you.
So how about I take the rest of the afternoon off and we go back to your place? Or we could just lock the door.
[Chuckling.]
I'm all sweaty.
[Chuckles.]
Pretty soon, I will be, too.
Oh, my God, I love you.
Mm! I got to get the door.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
I don't how to thank you, Jane.
You got me out of jail and you got justice for my brother.
Well, Tom is going away for a very long time.
And the police commissioner and the ADA are on a mandatory leave, subject to a full inquiry.
So my guess is they will be joining Tom in the slammer, real soon.
My brother would have really liked you.
I'm really sorry for your loss, Penny.
And none of this makes grief any easier.
Are you talking about me or you? Uh, well, I I guess I'm talking about both of us.
You know, Grayson loved you very much.
Did he talk to you about me? He said you were the smartest, kindest, most beautiful woman he'd ever met.
I'm I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.
No.
No.
[Inhales shakily.]
No.
I just I just miss him so much.
Good night, Jane.
Good night.
[Sighs.]
[Cellphone ringing.]
[Beep.]
Hello? This is Operator 13 from Los Angeles Correctional Facility.
I have a call from a D-block inmate.
May I put you through? Um I guess? Hello? Hello.
Who is this? [Sighs.]
It's it's me.
Sorry.
I don't know anyone at that facility.
Jane, it's me.
It's Grayson.
This isn't funny and I'm hanging up.
No! Listen.
It's me.
I I hit "Return" and I'm back.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up, and I woke up in someone else's body.
[Screams.]
So now I'm Jane, a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend, Stacy and my guardian angel, Paul.
I used to think everything happened for a reason.
Whoo! [Laughs.]
Now, I sure hope I was right.
La, la, la, la-la-la-la Previously on "Drop Dead Diva" Oh, look, Owen and Grayson are here.
- Grayson! Grayson! - [Gunshots, people screaming.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Where am I? Grayson, you're in the hospital.
Do you remember what happened? My boyfriend is gonna propose, and I'm not supposed to know about it - Congratulations.
- Thank you.
- [Alarm beeping.]
- [Indistinct talking.]
- Grayson.
What's happening? - The bullet fragment embolized and blocked the pulmonary artery.
He's in V-fib.
All right.
Put the pads on now.
Roll him towards me.
Charging the 360.
- All clear? - Clear.
Shock.
- Asystole.
- Check for pulse.
Negative.
No pulse.
[Alarms blaring.]
I'm calling it.
Time of death 5:17 PM.
[Sobbing.]
Sweetie, have you packed yet? I'm not going to London with you, Stacy.
I just can't do it.
You haven't left the house for seven days since Grayson's funeral.
I'm going back to bed.
No, Jane.
Listen.
Right now, I know what's best for you.
Stacy, you should be with Owen, planning your wedding.
Taking you out of town was Owen's idea.
He's worried about you, too.
You're not gonna give up, are you? It's something I learned from my best friend.
Okay.
Fine.
Okay.
[Door closes.]
[Sighs.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
I need to talk to you about Grayson.
What is there to say? Owen, he was a dear friend to me, but we can't let his death take down the firm.
Kim.
He was next in line for partner, and now he's gone.
And for all practical purposes, Jane is, too.
We need to make a new hire.
Oh, my God.
Do you hear what you're saying? I do.
And now I need you to hear me.
We're partners.
And if we can't fill the void, the firm is in trouble, and you know that.
We have to clean out his office and find a replacement.
You know I'm right.
Kim, there's a man with a puppet in your office.
[Sighs.]
Yeah, I know.
It's my 10:00.
I got to go.
So nice to meet you.
Hey, what about me? Don't talk to him.
He's just my hired hand.
Micky, please.
I am so sorry.
Micky didn't get enough sleep last night.
Okay.
Uh, on the phone, you mentioned that you were having some sort of problem with KB Airlines? Micky and I perform all over the country.
I no longer "bag check" Micky because, well, 10 years ago, they lost him.
Oh, I wasn't lost.
I was in hell! Or maybe it was Detroit.
Uh, I always get those two mixed up.
I never want to hear the words "Let me check your bag" again unless it's followed by "Turn your head and cough.
" It took two days to get Micky back.
And ever since then, it is in my venue contract that Micky gets his own ticket and his own seat.
It's the least those cheap bastards can do.
Well, 10 years ago, when all this happened, I enrolled Micky under KB Airlines' frequent flyer program under the name Micky Woodhead.
And they always gave him his points as long as I kept buying him a seat.
Okay.
Show her the letter.
Yeah, yeah.
So, only yesterday, we get this letter from the Airlines telling us that we're in violation of KB Airlines' frequent flyer program.
They've cancelled both of your accounts.
That's over 2 million miles.
[Sighs.]
Look, the thing is, Micky and I finally started using those miles to travel the world.
Help us, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
You're our only hope.
It sounds like the airline is gonna argue that your creation of an account for Micky constitutes fraud.
So why don't I set up a meeting with KB Airlines and we'll see about getting both of your accounts back? Then maybe you and me can have dinner somewhere romantic? Yeah.
You're cute, but I don't date clients or props.
Jane.
Uh, w-what are you doing here? You're supposed to be on your way to the airport with Stacy.
I left my passport in my desk.
How are you holding up? I-I'm fine.
Do you need to talk? - I'm not ready.
- Sure.
What? What the hell are you doing? Uh, Owen asked me to clean out Grayson's office.
I didn't know you were gonna be here.
This is not okay.
I will go through Grayson's things.
No one else.
And it can wait until I get back from my trip.
I'm sorry.
I-I thought this would be easier.
Excuse me.
I'm Penny Hobbs.
I'm looking for Grayson Kent.
He's representing me in my defamation case.
Is everything okay? Grayson was killed last week.
Oh, God.
We'll contact the court and get a continuance.
Of course.
I'm so sorry.
You know what, Penny? We don't need a continuance.
I'll represent you.
I'm I'm sorry.
Who are you? I'm Jane Bingum.
I'm a partner here.
And I was Grayson's girlfriend.
Penny, would you mind waiting in reception and give us just one minute? Of course.
Paul! I thought I told you to call the court clerks and notify them about Grayson so they could notify his clients.
I called the first clerk.
But I couldn't get the words out.
- I was too emotional.
- Excuse me.
Paul, can you put the box in my office? And I'm gonna go speak to my client.
No, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
You are in no condition to work.
Grayson told me all about this case.
It was important to him, so it's important to me.
I'm up to speed.
- You're up to speed? - Yes.
A few months ago, Penny's younger brother was killed when his car was broadsided by Tom Jessup, a drunk driver.
Now, thanks to Tom's high-priced attorney, he was acquitted and never spent a single day in prison.
Now he is suing Penny for $3 million for defamation.
The drunk driver is suing the victim's sister? Yes.
Penny was upset that Tom literally got away with murder, and she decided she had to do something.
Penny's a computer programmer, so she hacked into Tom's employer's website and posted the word "Murderer" next to Tom's name in the employee directory.
Now he's suing her.
Listen, Owen I need to represent her for Grayson.
There's nothing you can say that can stop me.
Hey.
I've been waiting in the cab for 20 minutes for Jane.
- Where is she? - Meeting with a client.
No, no, no.
We're going to London.
I'm sorry.
She's helping one of Grayson's clients.
It's the first time she's looked interested in anything since he died.
Oh.
Well, then it's a good thing, although I was looking forward to seeing the real Downton Abbey.
[Both chuckle.]
Excuse me.
- Owen.
- Hey.
Oh! Hey.
Are you seriously eating a doughnut? [Sighs.]
I'm stressed out.
Is that doughnut helping? I think it might be, yeah.
Owen, we had a deal.
You give up empty calories, I give up buying matching outfits for the twins.
I'm a weak man, Stacy.
I want you to be healthy for the babies.
I'll go to the gym tonight.
Hmm? Ever since you read that story on shower fungus, you've been terrified of the gym.
You could lose a foot.
- Thank you.
- Thanks for caring.
Now that your paperwork is processed, you'll be evaluated to determine the next step.
I'm sorry, but what's going on? - You died.
- No, I didn't.
I mean, I was shot, but the bullet didn't kill me.
The bullet shifted and entered your bloodstream.
It wasn't the doctor's fault in case you're hoping your relatives can sue.
This can't be happening.
Your supervisor will explain everything.
Anyone here? I'm sorry.
I bent down to tie my shoe and realized I was wearing loafers! [Chuckles.]
- Oh, my God, you're Grayson.
- Do I know you? N-no.
No.
Why why would you know me? Um, nice to meet you.
I'm Fred.
Grayson, I am so sorry you're here.
You seem familiar.
Have we met? N-no.
I mean, even if I had been somebody's guardian angel on earth and we had just happened to have met during that time, your memory would have been completely wiped clean of me.
Just saying.
Look.
I-I think there's been some sort of mistake here.
I mean, I'm healthy.
We don't make mistakes.
Wow.
I'm reviewing your life, and I am delighted to see that you were planning on proposing to Jane.
She's an amazing human.
- You know Jane? - No.
No.
It just I'm reading the file, which also says you were friends with a, uh, S-S-Stacy? H-how is how is she? - Good.
She's getting married.
- What?! I'm guessing you don't know Stacy, either? No.
How could I possibly know her? - I'm just an intake supervisor.
- Hmm.
Uh, anyway.
[Clears throat.]
Uh, if you're ready, I am happy to show you to your afterlife.
Oh, no.
I'm not going to the afterlife.
I'm not done with this life.
Uh.
Yes.
We uh we hit this a lot.
Especially from young lawyers.
No offense, but attorneys tend to think awfully high of themselves.
Uh, there is a lounge down the hall.
They serve coffee and blueberry muffins.
Take all the time you need.
And when you are ready to move on, you just come on back and see me.
My client, Penny Hobbs, hacked into Tom Jessup's corporate directory and inserted the word "Murderer" next to his name.
We don't dispute that.
But truth is a complete defense for defamation.
And the fact that the jury found that Tom was not guilty of vehicular homicide is not the same thing as the jury saying that Tom was innocent.
His lawyer played the system.
Don't let him play you.
Objection.
Watch yourself, Miss Bingum.
Of course.
That man convinced a judge to throw out a breathalyzer report based on a claimed calibration error.
But, see, that report showed that Tom's blood alcohol content was .
18, well over the legal limit.
And Tom got away with murder.
My client didn't defame Tom.
She exposed the truth even when our justice system failed to recognize it.
I'm asking you to do the right thing here.
Find in favor of my client, a woman who is grieving for her brother.
Since your airline has been accepting my client's money for over a decade without objection, you're legally estopped from claiming that Mr.
Gerlin committed any sort of fraud by enrolling Micky in the program.
That's right, lady.
You be estopped.
Not sure what that means, but I like it.
It sounds dirty.
We're not revoking Mr.
Gerlin's miles due to fraud or even because Micky's not a human being, but rather for violating our conduct policy.
- I'm confused.
- Yeah, and I'm bored.
Why don't you two ladies settle this the old-fashioned way, a Jell-O wrestling? - Shh! - Okay, fine.
We can make it pudding.
Mr.
Gerlin and Micky are offensive and they've harassed passengers.
It's all documented by our flight attendants in this incident report.
There's over 20 complaints here.
Micky and I have fun with other passengers, but we never meant to offend anyone.
This report was prepared by airline employees and not actual passengers, correct? Yes, that's right.
Good.
We'll see you in court.
I was just thinking about you.
Really? Because I was just thinking about you.
- I brought you a gift.
- Oh.
It's a fit clip.
- A fit clip? - Mm-hmm.
It measures your fitness every step, every calorie and then it sends it to my phone.
How the heck does it do that? Computer magic or tiny fitness robots.
I don't know.
So, whenever you're feeling lazy, just remember mama is watching.
This is ridiculous.
How about this? Every time you hit the 4-mile mark, - we'll do that thing you like.
- What thing? [Whispering.]
- Long live the fit clip.
- [Chuckles.]
How was court? Well, the jury was sympathetic.
But without the breathalyzer, I need some physical evidence that at least suggests Tom was drunk.
So Oh, God.
What is it? It's, uh, a wedding announcement from the Newport Cove Hotel.
Grayson knew that I wanted to get married there.
So he must have cut this out of the paper, I-I guess, and it got mixed up with the files.
I'm sorry.
You know that Princess Julia of Andora got married there? And Grayson and I were watching the footage of the reception, which was leaked to TMZ, and I said, "What a perfect spot for a wedding.
" - [Telephone ringing.]
- Excuse me.
This is Jane.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
I-I'll be right there.
- Don't talk to anyone.
- What happened? My client was arrested for criminal hacking.
She's in jail.
Your honor, KB Airlines has no basis to void my client's miles.
Our passengers were offended, as documented in the incident report.
That incident report was filled out by flight attendants.
We can provide live testimony from actual passengers.
Great.
Let's get to it.
Ms.
Nagahara, did my client say anything to you? Yes.
I told Greg that I'm from Hawaii, and Micky asked if he could "lei" me.
Were you offended? No! It was hilarious.
I approached Greg and told him I'd seen his show five times.
And Micky asked if they could project the in-flight movie off my head? - And were you insulted? - Oh, no.
Not at all.
I got a chance to talk to Micky.
Micky asked if he could sit on my lap so I could feel his wood.
Were you offended at his overt sexual harassment? Oh, hell no.
I wish my husband treated me that way.
Nothing further.
Are you seriously charging my client with criminal hacking? Miss Bingum, Penny breached the firewall of a fortune 500 company and she admitted her crime in open court or, I should say, you did that for her.
What are you talking about? You told the jury that Penny hacked into Tom's corporate directory.
I'm asking for the maximum sentence, three years in prison.
Oh, come on.
Penny's grieving for her dead brother.
She still violated the law.
Are you at least open to making a deal? I'll make some calls.
I'll get back to you.
Mr.
Gerlin, do you make fun of people? We have fun with people.
There is a difference.
And did any of the passengers on any of your flights complain to you about your comments? No.
Actually, there was some complaints about Greg's flatulence when we were flying over Ohio.
His voice isn't the only thing he can throw.
Speaking of which, your honor, when you fart under that robe, do you float up to the ceiling like a hot air balloon? [Sighs.]
All right.
I've heard enough.
As a society, we sometimes take ourselves too seriously.
Greg's act is harmless, which is why I'm ordering the airline to restore both of his accounts with the full balance of his miles.
Miss Kaswell, you might want to share this with your client.
It's a copy of the airline's new carry-on policy.
No puppets over 24 inches permitted in the cabin? You've got to be kidding me.
There's no rational basis for this rule.
The 1978 Airline Deregulation act gives us broad discretion to promulgate any rule we want so long as air safety's not compromised.
Could we bring it up to the judge? You could, but the airline's immune from state oversight.
If Greg wants Micky to fly on our airline, it gets checked with the luggage.
You admitted in open court that your client committed hacking? I was so focused on the civil case, I didn't even consider potential criminal implications.
I'm sorry.
I was upset and I wanted to do Grayson proud, and now I've just messed everything up.
Excuse me.
Um, the ADA's office called.
They're offering a deal for Penny.
One year in prison in exchange for pleading guilty.
Thank you.
I think you should encourage your client to take the plea.
I-I will.
If you want me to take over the civil case, I can step in.
Yeah.
I think that's a good idea.
I don't know what I was trying to prove by taking this case.
I just thought if I could somehow win, it would make Grayson happy.
[Voice breaking.]
But he's gone.
Come here.
[Sobs.]
They're offering one year in prison, in exchange for pleading guilty to criminal hacking.
It is just so wrong that I am in jail and Tom is free.
How can that happen? I'm so sorry, Penny.
I never should have admitted that you hacked the site.
I never tried to hide what I did.
Regardless I didn't help you yesterday, which is why I am gonna step away from representing you - in your defamation case.
- No! Jane My managing partner is gonna step in.
You'll be in excellent hands.
Nobody understands what I am going through better than you.
Losing Grayson has impacted my ability to be effective counsel.
I'm so sorry, Penny.
I really am.
Kim! It's all over the news.
What's all over the news? Your client, Greg Gerlin, was arrested at LAX for violating the Americans with Disabilities act.
He boarded a plane with Micky wearing a "Service Dummy" vest.
What an idiot.
Yeah, he claims that Micky is his seeing-eye dummy and insisted that they both be let on to the plane.
Well, now I have two dummies for clients.
I got to go.
Are you crazy? Pretending to be handicapped just so you could bring your puppet on the plane? Interesting.
For once, you don't have a retort.
Is everything just one big joke to you? Look.
I-I'm s-s-s-sorry.
I can't talk with-out M-M-Mic-ky.
Are you serious? Here you go.
Oh, thank God you finally got here.
That evidence room was like Oz! I mean, a sawed-off shotgun named Bubba tried to make me his wife.
Okay.
What's going on? Look.
I've [Sighs.]
I've had this stutter since I was a kid.
I-I went to a speech pathologist, and and he used puppets in his therapy, and it worked.
I found that as long as I was working with a puppet, my impediment went away.
How do you like that? Of the two of us, I'm the normal one.
The condition is called selective mutism.
So, you never weaned yourself off the puppet? Uh, excuse me.
We prefer to be called mannequin Americans.
Uh, no, I never did.
I actually, I made a career out of it.
And the great thing is, me and Micky never have to be apart.
Call the police.
I'm not a willing participant.
This is good.
I can get the criminal charges dropped because you actually have a disability, which means the airline can't keep you from bringing Micky on board.
I'll file a petition with the court and we'll get Micky recognized as a fluency device.
- That is not gonna happen.
- Why? I don't want to be known as the stuttering ventriloquist.
Greg, I can get this case dropped.
There has to be another way.
I [Sighs.]
could try to argue selective prosecution.
Uh, explain that so that a dummy or a member of congress could understand it.
Look, you are a ventriloquist.
Micky is your puppet.
Mannequin American! He's the tool of your trade.
I need to find out if the airline is allowing other professionals to bring the tools of their trade on board even if those tools violate airline policy.
I'll have the judge order discovery and we'll go from there.
Owen is rocking his cardio.
According to his fit clip account, he just burned 412 calories in the past hour.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure the purpose of that app is not for you to spy on him.
Ah! His calorie-burn meter just spiked again.
He is a maniac! Why is he working so hard? Oh, well, because [Chuckles.]
I told him that I would Would you do that? I would.
[Laughs.]
Aw.
Grayson would be happy you're laughing.
Yeah, I know.
What's all this stuff? Uh, Grayson's things from the office.
Look.
A legal beagles basketball trophy? Yeah.
[Laughs.]
Oh, the Newport Cove Hotel.
Isn't that where Princess Julia got married? I think that Grayson was considering this hotel for our wedding.
The clipping must have gotten mixed up in case files.
Well, the Newport Cove Hotel is the perfect venue.
- Yeah.
- But not at this time of year.
Why? What do you mean? This couple got married in January.
Brr! I have been there, and the breeze comes right off the ocean.
Look at the poor bride.
She didn't wear a bra.
- Oh.
- I know.
It is so tacky.
That's why God invented nipple covers.
Wait a minute, Stacy.
The day of the wedding was January 15th.
That's the same night my client's brother was killed.
That's a weird coincidence.
I don't think that it is.
[Keyboard clacking.]
Grayson, ready to move on? No.
First, I have some questions.
You seem to know a lot about Stacy, Deb, Jane, me.
I'm very intuitive.
I knew we put Chaz Bono in the wrong body before anybody else.
Cut the act, Fred.
Jane told me she was up here and she pressed a "Return" button.
You know more than you're letting on.
Okay.
Look.
Um, the truth is when Deb went back to earth in Jane's body, I was her guardian angel for a little while.
It was a job imposed on me, because I screwed up and let her press the Return button.
I'd like to see that button.
I'm sorry.
Just recently, they removed all of the "Return" buttons from the computer keyboards.
[Sighs.]
Do you realize how hard it is to type without a "Return" button? Oh, God.
I need to get back to earth.
I need to get back to Jane.
I'm sorry, Grayson.
I wish I could help you, but you have to move on.
The date on the announcement is January 15th.
That's the same night Tom killed Penny's brother.
Grayson put this clipping in the file on purpose.
I've been doing a little research.
Turns out the bride is Tom's first cousin.
And get this.
She was getting married to Gunner Callaghan, the police commissioner's son.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
That's huge.
I know.
See, I thought Tom got away with murder because his attorney messed with the evidence.
But it turns out the police were protecting Tom and protecting indirectly Police Commissioner Callaghan, who was responsible for throwing the wedding where Tom got drunk.
How is it that we're just hearing about this wedding now? Because Tom said that he was with his girlfriend having dinner before the crash.
He never mentioned a wedding.
And the police didn't do any digging, because they were covering for him.
If you go public, you are gonna be going against some very powerful people.
Do you think that scares me? No, of course not.
You need to find a witness that will confirm that Tom was at the wedding, lied about his alibi.
And given that the wedding was for the police commissioner's son, I doubt any of the guests are going to talk.
I don't intend to speak with the guests.
In 2008, the airline allowed a cowboy to travel with a miniature horse even though the airline had a "No horse" policy.
Does that count as a tool of the trade? - Sure does.
Nice work.
- How's it going? We just found a cowboy who travels with a tiny horse.
- Anything else? - Yeah, a scientist who travels with an ice chest of human brains despite the airline's policy against traveling with human tissue.
That's good.
A couple of years ago, I was in first class sitting next to Master Tomahiro.
He's a world-class Sushi chef.
The airline let him travel with his knives.
All right.
We got a tiny horse, human brains, and sharp knives.
Let's go see the judge.
Given that other professionals have been permitted to bring their tools of the trade on to their airplanes, we contend that KB Airlines' refusal to let Micky board with Greg constitutes selective prosecution.
Hey, by the way, what exactly is a miniature horse, - and can I ride one? - Zip it, Micky.
Your honor, Miss Kaswell suggests that Mr.
Gerlin was singled out as part of some vendetta.
- That's right.
- A few minutes before Greg and Micky boarded the plane, Greg tweeted a photo with the caption "Meet my seeing eye dummy.
" A flight attendant saw the tweet and reported the ADA violation to the authorities.
Even so, this is no more egregious than what Miss Kaswell presented the horse, the brains, the Sushi knives.
Those exceptions were all permitted because those flyers asked for permission in advance.
However, Greg not only failed to ask permission, he flaunted his violation on Twitter.
I told you we should have used Snapchat.
[Sighs.]
I've heard enough.
I agree with Miss Burke.
You should have asked permission.
Charges against Mr.
Gerlin will remain in place.
What the? Hey! What? Stacy.
Hey, what's going on? Well, according to the fit clip, you're running right now, uphill and fast.
Oh, that that must be a glitch.
- [Gasps.]
Where is it? - Where is what? [Gasps.]
Do you really want to upset me? - I am carrying your babies! - No.
- Whew! - Oh, God.
Whew! Nothing like a 10k to start the afternoon.
You gave the fit clip to Paul?! I have been monitoring Paul? I-I felt bad for the fit clip.
I-I thought it needed some exercise.
You're never getting the thing again.
- No! - Mnh-mnh.
- No, no.
- No.
What's that thing? Would I like the thing? Maybe I could give you that thing.
Sometimes I think it'd be easier if you could give me that thing, but sadly, you can't.
I hear it's your dream to be married at the Newport Cove Hotel.
As general manager, I'm delighted to help in any way that I can.
That's not why we're meeting today.
Excuse me? We're here to discuss a lawsuit.
I represent Penny Hobbs, whose brother was killed by a guest of the Callaghan wedding on January 15th.
I-I'm sorry.
Y-you should be meeting with our lawyers and not me.
Why don't you just hear me out? Your hotel served alcohol to Tom Jessup, making you liable for my client's brother's death under California host laws.
I need you to produce an employee who worked that night to testify that Tom was inebriated.
Otherwise, Gosh, I don't know, we'll have to file a claim for millions of dollars and then, well, I don't know.
I guess we'll just see what a jury has to say.
[Chuckles.]
The Callaghan wedding was attended by a-an ocean of cops.
And I won't force my employees to speak up against the police.
Well, in that case, I'd like all your hotel security footage from the wedding, and that includes inside the banquet hall and the parking area.
We have never shared our security footage.
[Laughs.]
Oh, now, come on.
That's not even true.
When Princess Julia got married, someone from your hotel leaked that reception footage to TMZ 'cause I totally saw it for, I'm guessing, at least $5,000.
My deal is much better.
Leak the footage to me or I'll sue.
It's up to you.
Great.
You're back.
Yeah.
I got a message you wanted to see me.
I'm not moving on.
Not now, not tomorrow never.
- Grayson - I'm not giving up on Jane.
Glad to hear it.
Neither am I.
What are you talking about? I wasn't always the best guardian angel to Jane.
Uh, I fell in love with Stacy.
I goofed around a lot, especially with Teri in the office.
Truth be told, I sometimes put my own needs in front of Jane's and that was wrong.
I'm sure she forgives you.
I'm also the one who told Jane that you'd think she was crazy if she claimed to be Deb and that if she ever hoped to get you back, you'd have to fall in love with her as Jane.
And I did.
I love her, Fred.
I know.
That's why I'm not letting you move on.
I-I-I thought you said there weren't any more "Return" buttons.
I found this in storage.
It was the last one.
It's still got the button.
I'll probably get demoted for this.
Or worse.
But I owe Jane a lot.
Now, keep in mind, this button is a one-time deal.
They're gonna confiscate this keyboard as soon as they found out what I've done.
Thank you.
So, how does it work? Just, uh press that button.
[Sighs.]
Oh, and and, Grayson uh, give her a hug for me.
[Clears throat.]
Well, congratulations, Mr.
Social Media.
Thanks to your little tweet, you'll probably be spending six months in prison without Micky.
Ooh.
While Greg's in the big house, how about you and me play house? Just us and the miniature horse.
In your dreams, puppet.
[Clears throat.]
Sorry to interrupt.
Uh, bad news.
Greg, the airline's going to kill you.
What? I was putting away the airline discovery, and I found this document called "The Hit List.
" Oh, a hit list.
Now maybe Ryan Seacrest will pay attention to us.
Hey.
How do you get him to talk? Wait.
Why would the airline want to kill me? That doesn't make any sense.
This isn't a hit list in the traditional sense.
And, Greg, I don't think your life is in danger.
But I do think your trouble with the airline is about to fly away.
[Door opens.]
Hey, sweetie.
How was your meeting? Well, I threatened the hotel and now we'll see if they're really scared of me.
Ah, did you give them the old Jane Bingum staredown? No, I get them the Deb Dobkins hair flip.
- Trust me, they're scared.
- [Both chuckle.]
What's going on? I thought you went cold turkey on the baby clothes.
No.
That deal's over because Owen couldn't keep his promise.
He's not wearing the fit clip? - Worse.
He gave it to Paul.
- [Laughs.]
How can I trust someone who commits fit clip fraud? Stacy, who cares? Owen's just not a big fitness guy.
I understand.
And maybe I pushed too hard.
But he lied to me.
So now I intend to buy enough matching baby clothes to dress our kids through puberty.
Stace, let it go.
I can't let it go.
He tricked me.
Yeah.
And who knows how much time the two of you have left together? So if you want to spend it arguing, I say, yeah, argue.
And it's really healthy for your babies, too.
- What? - Your fiancé is alive.
You're gonna have a dream wedding and a perfect life.
[Voice breaking.]
Isn't there anything better that you can do than argue over a freakin' fit clip? [Door closes.]
Ms.
Burke, the airline doesn't make money when people redeem their rewards points on flights, correct? We don't profit from award travelers, but we treat them the same as paying passengers.
Can you please tell us what a "Dead Duck" is? That's outside the scope of permitted questions.
Miss Kaswell, care to explain the basis of this question? With pleasure.
I'd like to introduce into evidence an internal KB Airlines memo entitled "Hit List.
" It contains the names of 5,000 members of KB's frequent flyer program.
Next to my client's name, as well as several others, are the words "Dead Duck.
" Miss Burke, if you refuse to answer, I will hold you in contempt.
Dead Ducks are frequent flyers who have banked over a million miles yet no longer purchase new tickets.
And tell us about the Hit List.
The hit list memo emphasizes the need to discourage these Dead Ducks from continuing to book award flights on KB Airlines as they are costing the Airlines millions.
Your honor, we contend that by targeting the Dead Ducks, the airline is engaging in Selective prosecution.
- Damn right.
- Agreed.
I am dismissing all charges against Mr.
Gerlin.
And I'm also handing over this list to the AUSA's office.
I'm sure they're gonna have a field day with this one.
Oh, and unless you want sanctions, allow Mr.
Gerlin and Micky back on board immediately.
- Yes! - Thank you.
Your honor, this is the security camera footage produced by Newport Cove Hotel from the night of the Callaghan wedding.
Now, Tom Jessup claimed that he was out to dinner with his girlfriend.
But here is Tom at the hotel bar.
Will your honor look at the time stamp? And here is Tom getting into his car at 10:34 PM.
My client's brother's car was struck by Tom 13 minutes later.
Clearly, Tom was impaired when this horrible crash occurred.
You were the prosecutor in a criminal trial.
How did you not subpoena that footage? Uh, because ADA Lowry was a guest at the same wedding Tom attended.
In fact, here is a still photograph taken at the wedding of ADA Lowry doing a shot with his good buddy Commissioner Callaghan.
The prosecution of Tom Jessup was a joke from the very beginning.
ADA Lowry, along with Callaghan's police cronies, never had any intention of convicting Tom.
Mr.
Lowry, this is disturbing.
Your honor, we're asking that you order a new criminal trial of Tom Jessup.
Under double jeopardy, your honor, the defendant cannot be retried for the same crime.
- Trial was fixed! - [Scoffs.]
Which means that jeopardy never attached.
I agree.
The district attorney's office would still need to prosecute and your honor cannot force us to do that.
Unfortunately, the ADA is correct.
Well, maybe so.
But it is within your discretion to appoint a special prosecutor, especially since the entire DA's office may be under corrupt influence.
Would you consider appointing one? [Indistinct conversations.]
Hi, Tom.
I'm so sorry to interrupt your evening, but Tom has a date with me tonight.
Are you crazy? Do you know who you're messing with? Um, well, let's see.
Your first question Am I crazy? No.
[Laughs.]
I don't think so.
No, and your second question oh, Do I know who you are? Well, yeah.
You're a murderer.
Oh, God.
Now let me ask a question.
Do you know who I am? You give up? I'm the newly appointed special prosecutor.
Officers, please arrest Tom Jessup on the charges of vehicular homicide, obstruction of justice, and criminal conspiracy.
[Panting.]
Hey! Hey.
Seven more minutes on this thing.
Owen, I know you hate this machine.
Hate is a strong word.
But in this case I love you so much for sweating on this machine just to make me happy.
And I want you to be healthy so we can live a long life together.
But I never want to put you in a position where you have to lie to me.
No, I shouldn't have given the fit clip to Paul.
I'm sorry.
That was just wrong.
I happen to know another way to get your heart rate up.
O-oh.
Does it, uh involve that thing that I like? It does if you do that thing that I like.
Ooh.
[Chuckles.]
Just so we're clear, that thing you like, I like doing it to you.
So how about I take the rest of the afternoon off and we go back to your place? Or we could just lock the door.
[Chuckling.]
I'm all sweaty.
[Chuckles.]
Pretty soon, I will be, too.
Oh, my God, I love you.
Mm! I got to get the door.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
I don't how to thank you, Jane.
You got me out of jail and you got justice for my brother.
Well, Tom is going away for a very long time.
And the police commissioner and the ADA are on a mandatory leave, subject to a full inquiry.
So my guess is they will be joining Tom in the slammer, real soon.
My brother would have really liked you.
I'm really sorry for your loss, Penny.
And none of this makes grief any easier.
Are you talking about me or you? Uh, well, I I guess I'm talking about both of us.
You know, Grayson loved you very much.
Did he talk to you about me? He said you were the smartest, kindest, most beautiful woman he'd ever met.
I'm I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.
No.
No.
[Inhales shakily.]
No.
I just I just miss him so much.
Good night, Jane.
Good night.
[Sighs.]
[Cellphone ringing.]
[Beep.]
Hello? This is Operator 13 from Los Angeles Correctional Facility.
I have a call from a D-block inmate.
May I put you through? Um I guess? Hello? Hello.
Who is this? [Sighs.]
It's it's me.
Sorry.
I don't know anyone at that facility.
Jane, it's me.
It's Grayson.
This isn't funny and I'm hanging up.
No! Listen.
It's me.
I I hit "Return" and I'm back.