iCarly s06e11 Episode Script

- And now - Next on iCarly We're gonna give you guys a little quiz.
Not a big one! - Okay, Sam, what's today's quiz question? - The quiz question is Hmm.
What is the most common activity at three years olds' birthday parties? Is it Let's take a look at some footage from an actual three year old's party And see what the most popular activity is.
It's - Congratulations, technology! - You've ruined our children! - Good for you.
- Yay! In addition to technology, our children's brains are also being ruined by sugar.
Right, Gibby? Say sugar's sweet Sugar's sweet! Thank you! Okay, next, we're gonna take you on a special journey through Whoa wait, hang on You're seriously gonna read a text message in the middle of our show? We've already established that technology ruined our generation.
Just a sec - Aw man! - What's wrong? My mom got arrested in Vegas.
- Aw man! - Yeah.
- Freddie, bring up the map.
- Bringing up the map.
Let's all take a look at our digital map This shows all the cities where my mom's been arrested.
And now, we can go ahead and add Las Vegas.
Woo! All right.
I gotta go figure out a way to bail my mom outta jail.
And I'm Carly.
'Night.
And we're clear.
I better go help Sam.
Gib Gib, did you eat that whole bag of sugar? Yeah yeah Yeah man, I'm I'm freaking out.
All right.
All right.
It's okay, buddy.
I dunno freaking out No, no, no.
You're gonna be fine.
- My heart's beating like a rabbit's.
- It'll be okay in about an hour.
- Swear? - Swear.
Yeah.
Yeah, Freddie's gotcha.
'Kay.
Ah! - Am I falling?! - No no.
I think I'm falling! In 5 I know you see.
Somehow the world will change for me.
And be so wonderful.
Live life, breathe air.
I know somehow we're gonna get there.
And feel so wonderful.
It's all for real.
I'm telling you just how I feel.
So wake up the members of my nation.
It's your time to be.
There's no chance unless you take one.
And the time to see the brighter side of every situation.
Some things are meant to be.
So give me your best and leave the rest to me.
Leave it all to me.
(Leave it all to me).
Leave it all to me.
Just leave it all to me.
[ Music .]
No no you listen Ira Ira You're my mom's lawyer, you gotta get her outta that jail before Monday.
No, we're not gonna leave her in there all weekend, I want her out tonight! Did you find out what jail your mom's in? I'll get you some ham.
Okay fine, I'll get her out myself.
Just gimme the info.
What jail is she in? Yeah Uh-huh Clark County in Vegas Yeah, I got it.
Listen, I'm really sorry That you're a butt rash! What's the sitch? - That's not cool.
- I know.
- My mom's in a pretty rough jail.
- Why'd she get arrested? Ah, she went to a Celine Dion concert That doesn't sound like something your mom would do.
And she thought Celine was lip syncing, so my mom ran on stage and yanked out her hair extensions.
That sounds like something your mom would do.
How much is it gonna cost to bail her out? - Twenty-five hundred.
- Dollars?! - Uh-huh.
- Ooh, girl.
Hey, does anyone know how this wig got in my toilet? - Not now.
- We have a problem.
Oh, and a wig in my toilet isn't a problem? Sam's mom's in jail in Vegas and we gotta get her out.
Vegas? Yeah, can you borrow Socko's RV and drive us there? Tonight? Oh sure Old Spencer's got no life So he'll just drive us all the way to Vegas because he's got nothing better to do.
Do you have something better to do? Nah, I'll drive ya.
- Call Socko! - I'm calling Socko! Uh, yeah.
Yeah.
It's just the sugar.
What's up with Sam's mom? We're going to Vegas to bail her outta jail.
Wait, which Vegas? Las? Yeah.
Las.
Sweet, I'm in.
How much is it gonna cost to bail her out? Twenty-five hundred.
- Dollars? - Uh huh.
Ooh, girl.
- You got that much cash? - No, I have uh Three dollars and one Band-Aid.
Used.
Can I borrow two thousand four hundred and ninety-seven bucks? Dude, the most I can get with my ATM card is a hundred and fifty.
How 'bout you, Freedo? It's pronounced Freddie.
And all I've got is seventy bucks.
I got thirty.
Okay that's my three plus one fifty plus seventy plus thirty That's, so that's like, what Math? Two hundred and fifty-three dollars.
That's not even enough to bail out your mom's sores.
Two of them healed! Perfect, thanks man.
I got Socko's RV! Woo! You got two thousand bucks? I got Socko's RV! Woo! All right, there's no point in us driving eighteen hours to Vegas, if we don't have enough money to bail out Sam's mom.
Well, we gotta help her.
Vegas has a lot of pawnshops.
- What's a pawnshop? - I'll explain on the way.
All you guys, go grab stuff that you think is worth a lotta money.
- Stuff like? - Ya know, a watch Baseball cards uh, alien body parts Anything people would pay money for.
Well, I'll go check my room for alien body parts.
- I'll go check our apartment.
- I'll go help Freddie.
I'll go see what I have in storage.
I'll go check the fridge.
[ Music .]
What did you draw? That's a bear.
Bears don't have flippers.
Those aren't flippers.
You don't know anything.
How long 'til we get to Vegas? Um we should be there in about seventeen hours.
Ah! Baby in the road! Ah! Where? Where?!?! Just kidding.
That's not funny! You shouldn't joke about babies on freeways.
Uh, hey! What happened?! Why'd we swerve?! - Gibby.
- Yeah? - Why are you wearing a towel? - I was taking a shower.
This RV has a shower? Yeah! Coolest thing ever.
Hey Spence, how fast we going? Uh, 'bout seventy.
I'm showering at seventy miles per hour.
Don't you mean seventy miles per shower? Oh my God.
- No.
- Yes.
I love that.
Nice word play.
Hey Spence you gotta try the shower in here! Why would I wanna shower in an RV? Oh, don't pretend you're not dying to! You worried about your mother? Yeah, I hate to think of her locked up in that jail cell.
Because, you know, she's my mom.
Even if she is just a big wrinkled sack a'junk.
That's, so sweet.
- What's in that? - I dunno, it's Gibby's.
That head is so creepy.
I know.
Hey, gimme my head.
I gotta take him in the shower.
Why? To shampoo him.
He called it "him" didn't he? - Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
[ Music .]
Hey.
Hey, you guys - What? - What is it? These won't cut through the old man's toenails.
Then use something else.
Use your teeth.
Good call.
I was kidding.
Okay Let's split up, get as much money as we can for our stuff, and then get to the jail.
- Right, right.
- Got it, got it.
Whoa, no way! You guys iCarly.
Oh my God.
Holy chiz.
I love iCarly.
- Thanks.
- Appreciate it.
- How ya doing? - I'm the brother.
Show's a lotta fun.
So what are you doing in Vegas? Oh, we brought some stuff.
Ya know, to trade.
For money.
- Let's take a look.
- All right.
- Great.
- Gibbeh.
- So what do you girls got? - Well I've brought you a very special Potato chip A potato chip? Shaped exactly like Texas.
Wow.
Oh Carly, you shouldn't sell that, it's too valuable.
You're right, Sam.
Maybe I shouldn't sell that one of-a-kind potato chip.
You guys done with the really bad acting? - Yes, Sir.
- I suppose.
- Well, it is pretty cool.
- I've had it since I was eight years old.
- She has.
- And it came outta the bag like this? - Uh-huh.
- It's a genetic mutation.
Um, sort of like Chumlee.
Hey, I heard my name.
- What do you think of that? - Ooh, potato chip.
- No! - What are you?! What? You just ate their one of a kind potato chip.
Well, they can have it back in about three hours.
Ewe! Go help that weird Gibby kid over there.
Wow, this a classic Pear Plus! Yup, made in 1986.
I collect vintage computers.
Yeah.
You guys look like it.
So, sweet puter huh, I bet that thing is worth a pant load a cash.
Yeah.
If it's in good condition and it works right it could be worth some money.
So how much do you think it's worth? 'Bout three grand.
- Wow.
- Grand, means thousand.
I know.
So three thousand bucks, huh? - Yeah.
You mind if I turn it on? - Go for it.
You've got like four bucks here.
- I'll take it.
- Sold! Dude, this is just a wig.
An awesome wig.
It goes on a lady's head.
- Why is it wet? - It was in the toilet.
- What's it worth? - Nothing.
Zero dollars.
Hmm.
Cash? Uh, is there something wrong with your brain? Yeah.
Yours? Yeah.
- Dude, what kinda pants are those? - I don't know.
My uncle threw 'em at me, so I just kept 'em.
Those are vintage jeans.
- What, you mean old? - Yeah, worth big bucks.
- Oh, really? - Why don't you come with me.
Sure.
So, what is this? - A bottle of Wahoo Punch.
- Signed by the first lady.
Of The United States of America.
After she drank half of it.
Cool.
How'd ya get it? The first lady was on iCarly.
So, if I took a sip of this You'd be swallowing the first lady's DNA.
Nice.
What were you looking to get out of it? Oh, geez.
Uh - A hun - Nuh-duh - Five hun - D-duh - A thou - D-duh! Hey, why don't you pick a price? Uh, look My mom's in jail, and I need twenty-five hundred to bail her out.
Will you please give us twenty-five hundred for it? Well, the signature is definitely real.
I'll do twenty-five hundred.
- Yes! - Thank you! Thank you! - Okay, let's go do some paperwork.
- I got this.
Well, we got four bucks.
How'd you and Sam do? Oh, we just got Twenty-five hundred dollars.
- What?! - That's awesome! Well, hello.
You'll notice I'm not wearing pants.
Yeah.
Why? I sold 'em to Chumlee.
Two hundred bucks.
And he gave me this Chumlee-flavored lollipop.
Good job, Gib.
Uh, you better let me hold on to the cash.
No! No, you lose everything.
You take that ba Where'd my watch go? I'm gonna put this money right here in the zipper pocket of my head bag.
Why'd you even bring your head? Because he's never been to Vegas.
Lookie lookie, momma done got herself a wad.
Woo! What happened to your pants? Did you have another accident? No.
That hasn't happened in two months.
Hey! My cash! I'm putting this with the other money in Gibby's head bag.
Don't forget my four dollars.
Sure, we'll pretend it matters.
Hey, before you iCarlys take off, can we get some pics? - Yeah.
Sure.
- Why not? Wait, wait.
I promised my mom I wouldn't take any more pictures without my pants on.
I'll be in the RV taking another shower.
- A'ight? - A'ight.
- Hey kid - 'Sup? You need some temporary pants? I'd love some temporary pants.
All right.
We've got some in the back.
- Sweet! - Come on.
Weirdo.
And one more [ Phone alert tone .]
Oh.
One sec.
Ah suck a truck.
- What's the matter? - It's Ira the lawyer.
He says if we don't bail my mom out by midnight they're gonna keep her in jail 'til Monday.
- Oh, we better go now.
- Yeah.
Yeah, thanks so much for buying our stuff! - No problem.
- Thanks.
- It's good to meet you guys.
- To the RV! - Hey.
- What? Wanna drink some of the first lady's DNA? Heck yeah.
Give me that.
[ Music .]
Hey! No licking the walls.
Lousy wall lickers.
Uh, hi hello - Excuse us - You may know us from the Internet? - What do you want? - My mom.
Pam Puckett.
Puckett Puckett We got a Plimpton.
I don't want a Plimpton.
Yeah, I don't blame ya.
She's a stabber.
Will you please just find Pam Puckett? Puckett Puckett oh there she is.
Bail is set at twenty-five hundred.
- No problem.
- Gibby, pay the lady.
Where's Gibby?!?! Man! I love these pants! - You should.
- They are pretty fly.
Cool.
I gotta see how they make my butt look.
I thought Chumlee had problems.
Dude, try spinning the other way.
Ah.
Faster! [ Music .]
Hey! Will you drive faster? Like a man would? I am driving like a man! You need to relax.
Ah! Or I could relax on the floor.
Just be cool.
If we don't get my mom outta jail before midnight she's gonna be stuck in there all weekend.
Hey, no worries.
We have almost an hour to get to the pawn shop, pick up Gibby and the money, and then get back to the jail place.
Hey, do you guys think I should have my eyebrows thinned? Drive! [ Music .]
- You need anything? - Uh, nah.
I'm not sure where my friends went.
But they'll be back.
I'm just gonna count our money.
Good luck.
Hey Chief, I wanna pawn my wife's watch.
As soon as I'm done with this customer.
Hey, kid.
Hey, man.
You uh You wanna buy a moon rock? A moon rock? You mean, from the actual moon? Where else ya gonna find a moon rock? - Now I feel stupid.
- It's all right.
It's all right.
Wait here.
I'll get the moon rock Outta my car.
- Huh? Huh? - Whoa.
- Nice piece, huh? - Super nice piece! Yeah! Can I touch it? Sure.
- Hmm? - Oh, nice.
Ya know, if you put your ear up to it, you can hear space.
- Get out.
- Try it.
- Hmm? - I I don't hear anything.
That's because to hear space, you gotta bend over.
Uh-huh.
Put it up to your ear.
Listen really carefully.
I think I hear space! [ Music .]
- Gibby! - Oh! There you are! Dude! We went all the way to the police station! - We thought you were in the RV! - Come on, we gotta go bail out my mom! - Spencer's waiting in the RV.
- Ya got the money? All right.
I got some good news, and bad news.
And additional bad news.
- Gibby - Where's the money? I used it to buy this moon rock.
- What?! - All of it?! Well, I couldn't buy part of the rock.
No! You used all the money?! Yeah.
And then when I tried to sell it to these guys here, they told me it's not even from the moon.
Where's it from? - The parking lot.
- Oh! Wait wait lemme see the rock for a sec.
- You! - No no! Ah! - Geez! - Whoa! Somebody must a hated this guy.
Chum that's him.
- Dude! - Oh my God.
They killed his twin brother.
Um, pardon me gentlemen.
How many dollars for the severed head? What? Sir, I'm sorry, this doesn't belong to us.
That makes me so angry.
Hello.
Were you interested in buying that head? Oh yes, yes, yes very much.
My daughter saw it, and she wants to take it home with her, back to our country.
Uh, no! There is no way I'm selling my head! She says, why you not wearing pants? Don't worry about it.
You can't buy my head.
I will give you ten thousand dollars for it.
- Whoa.
Dude.
- Gibby! I said no! All right? Not for ten thousand Not for twenty thousand not for a hundred thousand Not for two hun Gibbehh - So, ten thousand.
- Sold! Little more.
Okay.
Wait, wait, wait I wish he had pants on Ah, well, we did it! Ten thousand doe-larios.
Now can we go pick up momma's momma? Yeah, momma.
We have a whole half-hour to get to the police station.
Yep.
Spencer, let's go, let's hit the road! Where is he? Baby, will you take me back.
I said it, I said it.
I said it, I said it.
Baby There's my watch! Baby Will you take me back.
I said it, I said it.
I said it, I said it.
Baby, will you