Private Practice s06e11 Episode Script
Good Fries Are Hard to Come By
I am 407 days sober.
I debated whether or not I should say the exact number or just rough it, but I figured, I've earned every day so My friend Charlotte was 8 weeks pregnant when I celebrated a year.
I use her to keep track.
If she were here, she would probably say, "glad somebody's getting something useful out of this pregnancy.
" S sounds less awful if you know her.
I'm doing okay in my second year.
I got this great new apartment.
Been there a couple of months.
I'm really trying to make it a home.
It's been a while since I've been on my own, but I'm adjusting.
Ew.
It's nice to have my own kitchen, be able to cook whatever I want.
And I started working out again, which is good, you know and healthy.
Year two is a challenge, but I'm ready.
And it's all about growth, and I've set myself up to grow.
I'm good.
I'm really good.
Holla.
"Holla"? Good weekend? Didn't leave my apartment.
Unpacked.
You've been there three months.
I'm methodical.
You should be out there, doing things that make me feel old.
She did greet us with a holla.
Thank you, Coop.
Have you met any of your neighbors? I'm focused on my recovery.
Well, socialization is an important part of your recovery.
Have you considered dating? So I can see how quickly I make dudes my age sprint in the other direction? Aw.
Oh, come on.
We're all doctors.
We're doctors with friends who don't scare easily.
Mm-hmm.
Would you be open to dating someone we all vetted? If I say no, it'll be a thing, right? - Yes.
Oh, yeah.
- Yes.
Fine.
Just don't make me regret it.
It was great, right? Don't answer.
I already know.
Did you like your steak? You don't already know? So you liked it? Almost as much as you ordering it for me.
Was that sarcasm? You'd tell me if that was sarcasm, right? Thanks.
Could we split this, please? Yeah.
You're really interested in this? You cut into people's brains.
If that's not interesting, then what's the hope for the rest of us? Something wrong? Nah.
Are you sure? Yeah.
She just thinks when she says "jump," I should say, "how high?" She? My ex-wife.
You know, it was perfect, and then all of a sudden, it wasn't.
She doesn't think I deserve an explanation.
But she still tells me she loves me when she drinks.
I'm gonna cry.
Ahh.
Uh Mm.
Uh - Should we split the check? - We should split the check, yeah.
I mean, are were you guys also part of the team that vetted Sarah Palin? I'm so sorry.
I thought George was over her.
And I thought Marshall was a good old-fashioned Texas boy.
What are we talking about? Amelia's awful dates.
Oh, you're dating.
Oh, that that's good.
Yeah, no.
That's over.
Oh, come on.
Bad dates are kind of a necessary evil.
I dated a poet once.
He was a really, really bad poet.
Turns out the odds of finding a a Poe or a Frost are like a million to one.
Dating Edgar Allan Poe would probably be a drag.
I mean, if I had to imagine.
I mean, finding someone shouldn't feel like a job.
My parents met at a dance.
They both walked in, saw each other across the room, that was it.
Yeah, but that was a different time.
Okay, miss "I met my guy at the grocery.
" Oh, I went out with a guy who said he knew the best brunch spot in L.
A.
Well, he wasn't lying.
The rub was, it was being served by his cult.
Ohh.
I'll do you one better.
Imagine you're having a lovely time, and then at the end of the night, your date is engaged to someone else.
Oh.
I never thanked you for that dinner.
You're welcome.
Okay, all of this is just making my couch seem that much more appealing.
Who are you gonna meet on your couch? Oh, I met Cooper on my couch.
Or was I in bed? Uh, you met Cooper on a sex site.
I mean, it was probably the bedroom, I would guess.
I'm not trolling the Internet for dates.
I've seen what's out there.
Alone is better.
I guess my agent can submit me for bride of Frankenstein now.
I get that she's a monster.
But I always thought she was too good for him.
Been in anything I may have seen? Hmm.
Ever been to the Linden Boulevard church in Albuquerque? Can't say that I have.
I know I'm starting out here about ten years too late, but this is the only thing I've always wanted.
And I just keep coming back to it.
After college, I had loans, and my mom got sick.
I stayed with her till she passed.
Six months ago, I decided to get in the car and just drive.
Doesn't work out, at least I tried.
And I got to smell the ocean every morning along the way.
Not so bad, right? You paged me, Dr.
Peterson? She refuses to call me James.
This is Kaye, new onset seizure.
I was at an audition my first real audition and the only thing I remember is hearing my name.
I'm not holding my breath for a callback.
Presented with a classic tonic-clonic seizure.
I stabilized her with 10 milligrams of lorazepam.
Small lac secondary to the fall.
Ordered tests on the usual suspects.
Any previous history of seizures? Recent headaches, dizziness, visual changes, numbness, or weakness? Nothing.
New meds? Drug or alcohol history? Damn it.
Another 10 milligrams of lorazepam.
Protect her airway.
Pulse ox is dropping.
She's not breathing.
We may need to tube her.
Wait.
Just give it a sec.
Let's get a C.
T.
See what's up.
Keep me in the loop? Dr.
Shepherd.
It's Friday.
What do you kids want for dinner? French fries! French fries! They want French fries, and you don't want to break the bank.
So why not turn that tired sack of potatoes into something your kids actually want with the e-z cut American fry maker? Adjust the blade settings, and snap! Traditional cut shoestring even restaurant-quality steak fries really, really good fries.
You know Billy's on north canon? I'm there every Friday night.
Really, really good fries.
When's the last time you had really, really good homemade fries? Really, really good fries are hard to come by.
Really, really good fries.
I prefer steak fries, but I guess these will do.
Just be careful with the ketchup.
"Speed"? Yeah.
Every woman I know prefers "Speed" over "Die Hard.
" Of course they do, because "Speed's" about Keanu doing everything that he can to protect Sandy.
Every girl wants that.
You have such pretty eyes.
Abandoning the subtle flirtation thing.
And smart - Stop.
- And challenging.
Are you always this aggressive? I'm a douchey E.
R.
doc, remember? - Does it work? - You're here.
That does not answer my Only you can answer that question.
Why did you come? I wanted to discuss Kaye.
Our stable patient whose test results won't be complete until the morning? Why did you come? What would you say if I told you that my TV told me to? Does that happen often? Mm.
First time.
What time is it? I don't know.
Well, you didn't look at your watch.
Oh, my God.
It is almost midnight.
I gotta go.
That's why I didn't want you to know what time it was.
Please express my gratitude to your television.
Mm.
Oh, uh, your jacket.
No.
Keep it.
That way, you have to talk to me again.
And if you don't, I'll have you arrested for theft.
The valet probably wants to go, so Okay.
When a girl lets a guy buy her dinner, she has certain expectations.
What are you talking about? "Really, really good fries are hard to come by.
" You were in my head.
You went out with James? Being alone wasn't terrible.
I I was nesting.
I was making progress on my apartment Sort of.
Now all I can think about is mixed-message James not kissing me.
I mean, I am not the girl who sits around trying to unmix messages.
I mix them.
I think I follow that.
Look, this this part of the relationship happens only once.
There is no relationship.
Okay, what I'm trying to say is, let the attraction percolate.
Play hard to get? I didn't say that.
But it does work.
Yeah.
I'm not doing that.
Kaye has no trauma or family history of epilepsy.
Tox screen is negative.
Not drugs.
Electrolytes? Normal.
Do you have plans tonight? I do.
Well, when you have time, I'd love to take you to my favorite Italian place.
Yeah.
I'm pretty busy until next week.
Kaye is new to L.
A.
? Uh, Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Hmm.
The desert.
Environmental? Fungus.
A a fungal infection, maybe? Titers are high for cocci meningitis.
Okay.
Well, now all we have to do is find the lesions and found one.
Right here in the cortical area.
I'll schedule a biopsy for tomorrow.
You're gonna do brain surgery? Well, a biopsy will confirm the diagnosis.
You're gonna cut into her head when we could treat her with antifungals and keep a close eye on her? My way is faster and definitive.
It'll also take her out of auditions for longer than she can afford.
All signs point to a fungal infection, which, if you don't mind me saying, was a magnificent catch.
Okay.
Don't try to suck up to me just so that I'll do what you want.
I wasn't.
It was magnificent.
Uh-huh.
But I was hoping getting my way would be an unintended benefit of stating the truth.
We can schedule a follow-up C.
T.
in a month.
She stays on the anticonvulsants, and we schedule a follow-up in a week.
Are you really busy tonight or are you playing hard to get? Well, I have a lot on my plate right now.
If next week is the soonest I can see you, okay, but I was really hoping to spend some time with you before then.
How did you score a table overlooking the kitchen? I took care of the chef's daughter a few months ago.
High fever, vomiting.
My intern diagnosed the flu, was about to send her home, but I had a feeling.
We did a spinal tap bacterial meningitis.
I saved her.
Well this is me.
Thank you for dinner.
That was really lovely.
I had a wonderful time.
Me, too.
Get home safely.
Yeah.
Okay.
But it doesn't make sense.
I'm hot.
I would kiss me.
Wouldn't you kiss me? - Absolutely.
- I would, yes.
I didn't ask for this.
He pursued me.
Would not let it go.
Finally I gave in, this is what I get.
You can't let it upset you.
I'm not upset.
I'm pissed.
Maybe he's just not that into you.
I've always wanted to say that.
Maybe now is not the right time, Addison.
I got waxed.
Like "waxed" waxed.
I spent a small fortune on new underwear and heels, both of which are supremely uncomfortable, and for what? Oh, the things we do.
Women.
I mean, why, when we could be on our couch in sweats, vegging out to a marathon of "bitch snapped"? Because you like him.
I want to do something that justifies the pain I'm inflicting upon myself.
Do you think he's He's not gay.
Maybe he got over a really bad break-up - and he wants to go slowly.
- Mm.
Is that really a thing, going slowly? I mean, doesn't that only happen in the movies? I'm done.
I'm j I'm done.
No, you cannot quit.
And you can't put all your eggs in one basket.
The quest to find somebody to spend your life with is not easy.
You need time and fortitude.
Do you hear yourself? I I was just looking to get out of my apartment.
Okay.
Well then staying in that vein, humor me a little longer.
Are you free tonight? No, really.
I mean, you could stay home and wonder why James isn't kissing you or Ah.
Ortho surgeon.
Totally single.
Great conversationalist.
- Mm.
- Definitely not a sociopath.
Want me to see if he's free tonight? Well, you're already waxed.
Mm.
Okay.
James.
You look beautiful.
Date? Yeah.
I, uh, actually was on my way out.
Cool.
I can't stay but a minute.
Middle of my shift.
It's just the anticipation was killing me.
Enjoy your date.
Gone? Like like completely gone? There's no trace of the lesion.
The antifungals were effective.
So no more falling on my face at auditions in the literal sense? There is no reason to suspect that you'll have another seizure.
I'd already called my dad and told him that I might have to come home.
Thank you.
Both of you.
Oh, if I leave now, I can still make it to my class across town.
Thanks.
Did you ever have that much energy? Yep.
I know I should wait until tonight, but now that the patient's gone You can totally kiss me.
Condoms ribbed, glow-in-the-dark, tingling? Which is usually the sensation that sends you to the doctor.
Slow down.
Back it up.
I'm seeing someone.
James.
You know? Of course you know.
Doesn't matter.
What matters is, I went to buy condoms today, and there are, like, a billion choices, and I don't want to insult him by not buying magnums or buying them and making him think that my previous boyfriends are the Lakers.
Well, since when are you shy about sex? I I'm not.
I just don't want to offend James.
Ah, that's crap.
I think this is about you gettin' back in the saddle after a year.
I don't know.
Maybe.
You doin' what you need to do? I'm here talking to you.
That's not what I mean.
I am getting to meetings.
- You know why I'm asking.
- I know why you're asking.
When you meet someone new, sometimes sobriety takes a backseat.
You start cutting corners, and then You slip.
I get it.
Last time you had sex, you woke up to A dead Ryan.
Yes I remember.
But it's not gonna be a thing.
You sure? I'm sure.
I'm ready.
I just need that push.
Oh.
Ahh.
Ribbed, glow-in the dark, tingling.
They call this one "the soldier.
" Huh.
Trial and error.
Find out what works for you, and have fun doing it.
Oh.
Just in case.
Hey.
Wow.
Yeah? Please.
Hey.
Wow.
Do you have a condom? I didn't want to be presumptuous.
I have some.
I think.
You are so gorgeous.
You are so gorgeous.
What's wrong? Sorry.
Uh Can you not touch me? Are you You're here.
Yeah.
I got this thing where I can't let a date end in tears, so I was gonna make you breakfast, but you only have salsa, ice cream, and bread.
Bon appétit.
I owe you an explanation.
You don't.
I like you.
And last night, I wanted to.
I mean, I've got enough condoms to supply a frat house.
I thought I was ready.
But then when you started taking off my dress I haven't had sex with someone who mattered in a long time.
And now I'm sober, and I'm in a good place, but in some ways I'm still a mess.
So I'm giving you an out.
What do you want on your toast, salsa or ice cream? What are you lookin' at? You.
No, what are you looking at? I have a freckle.
What about it? It looks like Indiana.
Can I kiss it? Mm.
You're going to anyway.
I see a few more down here that require my attention.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
What are you thinking about? I don't know.
Don't know or won't say? I'm not thinking about anything.
And that's good.
Why don't you drink? You don't really I do.
Really.
I'm an alcoholic.
And I used to do oxy.
I fell in love, I thought, with an addict.
Mm.
I don't know why I said "I thought.
" I mean I do.
It's because I'm not sure anymore if I was actually in love with him, but to say that I wasn't feels cold, because he's gone.
I woke up from this amazing high to find him dead.
And it didn't feel fair when I found out I was pregnant.
This baby our baby helped me stay clean.
Maybe it would've gotten him clean and we could've I don't know about being in love with him because that time in my life the drugs I lived it, but it doesn't feel like my life.
You loved him.
We were sober together for, like, five minutes.
If it felt like love, then it was.
Don't let the perspective you have now diminish the feelings you had then.
That wouldn't be fair.
Have you ever been in love? Couple times.
Not counting Halle Berry.
What happened? With Halle? Mm-hmm.
I knew I wanted to see more than Dickson County, Tennessee.
I'd like to see it.
When you got an hour, I'll show you.
Something just doesn't sit right.
It doesn't bother you that there was only one lesion? Kaye? Yeah.
It would bother me if she were presenting with more lesions or more seizures, but she's not.
I don't know.
Her titers were high, but not incredibly.
Amelia, you did great for Kaye.
She's halfway to an Oscar as we speak.
Take the victory.
Mm.
This is a public service announcement from the American soci Throws it out of bounds, and that's gonna With happy dog dog chow Not this windbag again, please.
How do you keep up with what's going on in the world? I read the paper.
Mm.
Smarty-pants probably has a subscription to the "Times.
" The "Journal.
" I prefer objectivity in my news.
You're calling out one of the most esteemed news publications in the world for a lack of objectivity? How can it be objective if all of its reporters are progressives? Who did you vote for? In the last presidential who did you vote for? It's called a secret ballot, and it's the foundation of our democracy.
You're a Republican.
Because I wouldn't tell you who I voted for? Because you ended a sentence with "foundation of our democracy.
" I'm a conservative.
- Just say you're a Republican.
- No.
- Why? - Because you really, really want me to.
I'm in bed with a Republican.
I'm pretty sure it's not the first time.
Just think back to the best sex you've ever had.
Not funny.
- Deal breaker? - Abortion? - Pro-life.
- The death penalty? This is the sexiest pillow talk ever.
Don't try to avoid it.
The Bible says "an eye for an eye.
" Ohh! All right, that logic drives me crazy! You just said that you're for life, but you're for the death penalty? I am for life innocent life.
Whose job is it to judge innocence and guilt? Does the person who took Sarah Nelson deserve to live? Doesn't the Bible also say something about turn the other cheek and God's the only one who can judge and stuff like that? Wouldn't have pegged you as someone who would quote scripture.
I did not quote scripture.
I paraphrased.
And everybody knows that stuff.
Ugh.
"You are capable of being a great leader.
" So I'm not, I guess.
"You can't have rainbows without the rain.
" Is that insanely stupid or incredibly profound? It's a Dolly Parton quote.
I can't believe you know that.
I'm not the one being seduced by the philosophies of Dolly Parton.
Okay, we weren't all bequeathed a subscription to the "Journal" at birth.
How many other Alex P.
Keatons did your parents turn out? Just me.
I have, uh, three sisters and a brother who is as close to perfect as a human can be.
People looking for a higher power submit to him.
When I look at you, all I see is perfect.
My parents are coming into town.
Have dinner with us? Yes.
This liberal heathen desperately wants to meet your parents.
The sun's coming up.
The sun is coming up.
Thank you.
Hey.
Your parents get in all right? At the hotel now.
I just wanted to check in with you about tonight.
That chain restaurant in the mall because they're allergic to new experiences.
I mean, you're sure this is something you're ready to do? I it's not like they'll never be in L.
A.
again.
Look, if you've changed your mind and you don't want me to meet them No, no, no, it's not that.
It's What is it? I dreamt last night that the ceiling in the restaurant collapsed.
Everyone was all right, but I don't know.
Meeting the folks is a big deal.
Is this you freaking out? No.
Yeah.
Sort of.
I think it is.
I'm your girlfriend, and I am totally excited to meet your parents.
I wanted them to experience L.
A.
He took us to one of those restaurants where they don't cook the food.
For my money, you can't beat a restaurant with an unlimited salad bar.
Well, I wish they would put a limit on these cheese biscuits.
I am not gonna fit into my scrubs tomorrow.
That's a good one, Amelia.
You know, I was not expecting to like you as much as I do.
- Mom.
- No, I didn't mean it like that.
I just always envisioned that you would settle down somewhere near us and marry a local gal.
Oh, let's, uh, let's toast to new friends.
- New friends.
- Hear, hear.
New friends.
So, Amelia, do you have any siblings? Three sisters, one brother.
All doctors.
Oh.
Did your mother work? Yeah, she was a nurse in the Navy for 25 years.
Huh.
That's probably where y'all got the idea to be doctors.
Mm.
I teach English.
No idea where he got an aptitude for science.
But I couldn't be prouder.
Ah, I just direct traffic in the E.
R.
Amelia's the genius at the table.
He's being modest.
The night we met, he caught something I missed, saved a man's life.
Well, I'm not the least bit surprised, but then I might be a teeny bit biased.
It is cool seeing the three of you together as a family.
You guys get along really well.
It's nice.
Well, that is so sweet of you to say, hon.
You know, I think it might have to do with the fact that I was able to be at home when he was growing up.
What kind of surgery do you practice? - I'm a neurosurgeon.
- Oh.
Amelia.
Your job sounds as hard as rocket science.
Is that something you could ever do part-time? Mom, we talked about this.
Why would I do the thing I love part-time? Well, I was thinking, if you ever want to have children - I won't quit working.
- Amelia, you don't have to answer.
Mom, now is not the time.
I am just making polite conversation.
It's okay.
I can answer.
She promised not to interrogate you.
- Well, it's not an interrogation.
- You see? I just want to make sure that you're taken care of.
Mom, not the place, not the time, not your business.
Let's move on.
Well, I'm gonna have the chicken parmesan.
Ooh, that does sound good.
It's always good.
How about I get the francaise, this one? It has that mushrooms and zucchini.
I like zucchini.
I'd say it went pretty well.
You mean once I kept my mouth shut.
Well, she promised to play nice, but you know how mothers are.
I wasn't talking about her.
I was talking about you.
You cut me off.
I stopped her from asking you about things we haven't discussed yet.
It was like you didn't think that I had ideas about my own life.
Or you didn't trust me to talk to your mother.
I'm sorry if that's the way it came across.
It's just my mother I don't trust.
You know what? I will not be treated like a little child who needs to be silenced, all right? This is not working.
What are you talking about? Wait.
Are you breaking up with me? You need to go.
I'm not going anywhere.
We're just having an argument here.
Go.
No.
Fine.
Amelia.
Are you awake? I'm awake.
I might be hallucinating, but I'm awake.
I don't want to bother you.
I've been laying here for weeks.
Everything's a bother.
You look like death warmed over.
Thanks, Heidi Klum.
Mm.
I got a headache that would put Godzilla in a fetal position.
I don't know if it's noon or a quarter to midnight or, well, 1976.
It's 2:00 A.
M.
What the hell are you doing here? I couldn't fall asleep in the on-call room.
You on call? No.
I James and I had a fight.
He's still at my apartment, which, in an act of sheer freakin' brilliance, I stormed out of.
Who storms out of their own apartment? Ugh.
I'm so embarrassed.
I mean, I I was just trying to stand up for myself, and now Oh, God.
I'm so humiliated.
I can't go back.
I just I wanted I just need to sit with someone.
Sit.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Late night with James? Mm.
Something like that.
So it's going well? Things are fine.
Why do I get the feeling there's something you're not telling me? Why don't you get the feeling that I don't want to talk? I don't need a shrink.
I didn't need a matchmaker either, but that did not stop you from shoving dates in my face in some quest for true love that I did not even remotely hint at being interested in.
Just let it go.
Sorry.
Oh.
No.
Uh I'm sorry.
I didn't get much sleep last night.
No, you're right.
You are right.
I've been spending a lot of time on my couch alone, too.
And the thing is I'm not a young woman.
I mean, I know, I still got it, but I'm not young.
So sometimes I think maybe I will spend the rest of my life alone.
I have to go the hospital.
Violet, you can call me.
We can hang out in the couch in sweats together.
I got the page.
What happened? Another seizure.
I know.
I'm taking her for a C.
T.
to see what happened.
I thought you said the lesions were gone.
They were.
We'll figure this out, Kaye.
We will.
Please.
I can't what's wrong with me? I'll take it from here.
Glad you're okay.
I was worried.
You okay? Do I deserve someone? Amelia, of course.
I mean, why why do you Because I don't know if James and I can't work or if don't want us to.
I mean, at the end of the day, I'm a recovering addict with a dump truck full of baggage, right? And the worst tragedy that has ever struck James is having to put down his golden retriever.
You're not giving him any credit.
He's an E.
R.
doctor, right? He's he's seen things.
Sure.
Other people's tragedies.
That does not prepare someone to live with crazy day in and day out.
He's a Republican.
Do you even vote? That is not the point.
I don't think you're seeing the point.
You've been so strong this past year.
And there's no doubt in my mind that if you wanted to work through this, you could.
But what you're not seeing, and what I didn't really see until recently is, none of it matters.
The petty things that we argue about and wish we could change about the other person, it you want to know the only thing that matters? If someone will hold your hand when you have cancer.
Sheldon It's prostate, and I'm fine.
Well I hope I'm gonna be fine.
But I I've never been happier because I've found someone who'll hold my hand.
And trust me, that is that's all that matters.
So what was that fight really about? All the men I care about die.
My people live a long time.
I have an Uncle who's Amelia, I love you.
It's her heart.
What? Kaye.
The single lesion, the the lack of clusters, the the titers that that aren't that high It's her heart.
There's something in her heart.
She could be throwing emboli that are causing her to seize.
Echo confirmed a tumor in the left atrium of her heart.
What does that mean? As the tumor broke apart, you threw emboli, and one went to your brain.
That's what caused the lesion.
And subsequently, the seizures.
Lifesaving catch, Dr.
Shepherd.
You're in good hands.
Dr.
Bennett's gonna get the tumor.
You're gonna be up and running in no time.
Gonna be a hell of a story to tell at auditions.
Save it for Kimmel.
Todd Reiter.
Your first night, crazy night in the E.
R.
Spinal infection.
I told you to discharge, and you didn't.
Yeah? Everything we know, all the knowledge that we have pros, cons, probable causes, likely diagnosis, years of schooling, and it still comes down to instincts, and sometimes, all signs point one way, but but sometimes you just gotta get in your car and drive and forget that you know what failing looks like.
What are you I love you, too.
I debated whether or not I should say the exact number or just rough it, but I figured, I've earned every day so My friend Charlotte was 8 weeks pregnant when I celebrated a year.
I use her to keep track.
If she were here, she would probably say, "glad somebody's getting something useful out of this pregnancy.
" S sounds less awful if you know her.
I'm doing okay in my second year.
I got this great new apartment.
Been there a couple of months.
I'm really trying to make it a home.
It's been a while since I've been on my own, but I'm adjusting.
Ew.
It's nice to have my own kitchen, be able to cook whatever I want.
And I started working out again, which is good, you know and healthy.
Year two is a challenge, but I'm ready.
And it's all about growth, and I've set myself up to grow.
I'm good.
I'm really good.
Holla.
"Holla"? Good weekend? Didn't leave my apartment.
Unpacked.
You've been there three months.
I'm methodical.
You should be out there, doing things that make me feel old.
She did greet us with a holla.
Thank you, Coop.
Have you met any of your neighbors? I'm focused on my recovery.
Well, socialization is an important part of your recovery.
Have you considered dating? So I can see how quickly I make dudes my age sprint in the other direction? Aw.
Oh, come on.
We're all doctors.
We're doctors with friends who don't scare easily.
Mm-hmm.
Would you be open to dating someone we all vetted? If I say no, it'll be a thing, right? - Yes.
Oh, yeah.
- Yes.
Fine.
Just don't make me regret it.
It was great, right? Don't answer.
I already know.
Did you like your steak? You don't already know? So you liked it? Almost as much as you ordering it for me.
Was that sarcasm? You'd tell me if that was sarcasm, right? Thanks.
Could we split this, please? Yeah.
You're really interested in this? You cut into people's brains.
If that's not interesting, then what's the hope for the rest of us? Something wrong? Nah.
Are you sure? Yeah.
She just thinks when she says "jump," I should say, "how high?" She? My ex-wife.
You know, it was perfect, and then all of a sudden, it wasn't.
She doesn't think I deserve an explanation.
But she still tells me she loves me when she drinks.
I'm gonna cry.
Ahh.
Uh Mm.
Uh - Should we split the check? - We should split the check, yeah.
I mean, are were you guys also part of the team that vetted Sarah Palin? I'm so sorry.
I thought George was over her.
And I thought Marshall was a good old-fashioned Texas boy.
What are we talking about? Amelia's awful dates.
Oh, you're dating.
Oh, that that's good.
Yeah, no.
That's over.
Oh, come on.
Bad dates are kind of a necessary evil.
I dated a poet once.
He was a really, really bad poet.
Turns out the odds of finding a a Poe or a Frost are like a million to one.
Dating Edgar Allan Poe would probably be a drag.
I mean, if I had to imagine.
I mean, finding someone shouldn't feel like a job.
My parents met at a dance.
They both walked in, saw each other across the room, that was it.
Yeah, but that was a different time.
Okay, miss "I met my guy at the grocery.
" Oh, I went out with a guy who said he knew the best brunch spot in L.
A.
Well, he wasn't lying.
The rub was, it was being served by his cult.
Ohh.
I'll do you one better.
Imagine you're having a lovely time, and then at the end of the night, your date is engaged to someone else.
Oh.
I never thanked you for that dinner.
You're welcome.
Okay, all of this is just making my couch seem that much more appealing.
Who are you gonna meet on your couch? Oh, I met Cooper on my couch.
Or was I in bed? Uh, you met Cooper on a sex site.
I mean, it was probably the bedroom, I would guess.
I'm not trolling the Internet for dates.
I've seen what's out there.
Alone is better.
I guess my agent can submit me for bride of Frankenstein now.
I get that she's a monster.
But I always thought she was too good for him.
Been in anything I may have seen? Hmm.
Ever been to the Linden Boulevard church in Albuquerque? Can't say that I have.
I know I'm starting out here about ten years too late, but this is the only thing I've always wanted.
And I just keep coming back to it.
After college, I had loans, and my mom got sick.
I stayed with her till she passed.
Six months ago, I decided to get in the car and just drive.
Doesn't work out, at least I tried.
And I got to smell the ocean every morning along the way.
Not so bad, right? You paged me, Dr.
Peterson? She refuses to call me James.
This is Kaye, new onset seizure.
I was at an audition my first real audition and the only thing I remember is hearing my name.
I'm not holding my breath for a callback.
Presented with a classic tonic-clonic seizure.
I stabilized her with 10 milligrams of lorazepam.
Small lac secondary to the fall.
Ordered tests on the usual suspects.
Any previous history of seizures? Recent headaches, dizziness, visual changes, numbness, or weakness? Nothing.
New meds? Drug or alcohol history? Damn it.
Another 10 milligrams of lorazepam.
Protect her airway.
Pulse ox is dropping.
She's not breathing.
We may need to tube her.
Wait.
Just give it a sec.
Let's get a C.
T.
See what's up.
Keep me in the loop? Dr.
Shepherd.
It's Friday.
What do you kids want for dinner? French fries! French fries! They want French fries, and you don't want to break the bank.
So why not turn that tired sack of potatoes into something your kids actually want with the e-z cut American fry maker? Adjust the blade settings, and snap! Traditional cut shoestring even restaurant-quality steak fries really, really good fries.
You know Billy's on north canon? I'm there every Friday night.
Really, really good fries.
When's the last time you had really, really good homemade fries? Really, really good fries are hard to come by.
Really, really good fries.
I prefer steak fries, but I guess these will do.
Just be careful with the ketchup.
"Speed"? Yeah.
Every woman I know prefers "Speed" over "Die Hard.
" Of course they do, because "Speed's" about Keanu doing everything that he can to protect Sandy.
Every girl wants that.
You have such pretty eyes.
Abandoning the subtle flirtation thing.
And smart - Stop.
- And challenging.
Are you always this aggressive? I'm a douchey E.
R.
doc, remember? - Does it work? - You're here.
That does not answer my Only you can answer that question.
Why did you come? I wanted to discuss Kaye.
Our stable patient whose test results won't be complete until the morning? Why did you come? What would you say if I told you that my TV told me to? Does that happen often? Mm.
First time.
What time is it? I don't know.
Well, you didn't look at your watch.
Oh, my God.
It is almost midnight.
I gotta go.
That's why I didn't want you to know what time it was.
Please express my gratitude to your television.
Mm.
Oh, uh, your jacket.
No.
Keep it.
That way, you have to talk to me again.
And if you don't, I'll have you arrested for theft.
The valet probably wants to go, so Okay.
When a girl lets a guy buy her dinner, she has certain expectations.
What are you talking about? "Really, really good fries are hard to come by.
" You were in my head.
You went out with James? Being alone wasn't terrible.
I I was nesting.
I was making progress on my apartment Sort of.
Now all I can think about is mixed-message James not kissing me.
I mean, I am not the girl who sits around trying to unmix messages.
I mix them.
I think I follow that.
Look, this this part of the relationship happens only once.
There is no relationship.
Okay, what I'm trying to say is, let the attraction percolate.
Play hard to get? I didn't say that.
But it does work.
Yeah.
I'm not doing that.
Kaye has no trauma or family history of epilepsy.
Tox screen is negative.
Not drugs.
Electrolytes? Normal.
Do you have plans tonight? I do.
Well, when you have time, I'd love to take you to my favorite Italian place.
Yeah.
I'm pretty busy until next week.
Kaye is new to L.
A.
? Uh, Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Hmm.
The desert.
Environmental? Fungus.
A a fungal infection, maybe? Titers are high for cocci meningitis.
Okay.
Well, now all we have to do is find the lesions and found one.
Right here in the cortical area.
I'll schedule a biopsy for tomorrow.
You're gonna do brain surgery? Well, a biopsy will confirm the diagnosis.
You're gonna cut into her head when we could treat her with antifungals and keep a close eye on her? My way is faster and definitive.
It'll also take her out of auditions for longer than she can afford.
All signs point to a fungal infection, which, if you don't mind me saying, was a magnificent catch.
Okay.
Don't try to suck up to me just so that I'll do what you want.
I wasn't.
It was magnificent.
Uh-huh.
But I was hoping getting my way would be an unintended benefit of stating the truth.
We can schedule a follow-up C.
T.
in a month.
She stays on the anticonvulsants, and we schedule a follow-up in a week.
Are you really busy tonight or are you playing hard to get? Well, I have a lot on my plate right now.
If next week is the soonest I can see you, okay, but I was really hoping to spend some time with you before then.
How did you score a table overlooking the kitchen? I took care of the chef's daughter a few months ago.
High fever, vomiting.
My intern diagnosed the flu, was about to send her home, but I had a feeling.
We did a spinal tap bacterial meningitis.
I saved her.
Well this is me.
Thank you for dinner.
That was really lovely.
I had a wonderful time.
Me, too.
Get home safely.
Yeah.
Okay.
But it doesn't make sense.
I'm hot.
I would kiss me.
Wouldn't you kiss me? - Absolutely.
- I would, yes.
I didn't ask for this.
He pursued me.
Would not let it go.
Finally I gave in, this is what I get.
You can't let it upset you.
I'm not upset.
I'm pissed.
Maybe he's just not that into you.
I've always wanted to say that.
Maybe now is not the right time, Addison.
I got waxed.
Like "waxed" waxed.
I spent a small fortune on new underwear and heels, both of which are supremely uncomfortable, and for what? Oh, the things we do.
Women.
I mean, why, when we could be on our couch in sweats, vegging out to a marathon of "bitch snapped"? Because you like him.
I want to do something that justifies the pain I'm inflicting upon myself.
Do you think he's He's not gay.
Maybe he got over a really bad break-up - and he wants to go slowly.
- Mm.
Is that really a thing, going slowly? I mean, doesn't that only happen in the movies? I'm done.
I'm j I'm done.
No, you cannot quit.
And you can't put all your eggs in one basket.
The quest to find somebody to spend your life with is not easy.
You need time and fortitude.
Do you hear yourself? I I was just looking to get out of my apartment.
Okay.
Well then staying in that vein, humor me a little longer.
Are you free tonight? No, really.
I mean, you could stay home and wonder why James isn't kissing you or Ah.
Ortho surgeon.
Totally single.
Great conversationalist.
- Mm.
- Definitely not a sociopath.
Want me to see if he's free tonight? Well, you're already waxed.
Mm.
Okay.
James.
You look beautiful.
Date? Yeah.
I, uh, actually was on my way out.
Cool.
I can't stay but a minute.
Middle of my shift.
It's just the anticipation was killing me.
Enjoy your date.
Gone? Like like completely gone? There's no trace of the lesion.
The antifungals were effective.
So no more falling on my face at auditions in the literal sense? There is no reason to suspect that you'll have another seizure.
I'd already called my dad and told him that I might have to come home.
Thank you.
Both of you.
Oh, if I leave now, I can still make it to my class across town.
Thanks.
Did you ever have that much energy? Yep.
I know I should wait until tonight, but now that the patient's gone You can totally kiss me.
Condoms ribbed, glow-in-the-dark, tingling? Which is usually the sensation that sends you to the doctor.
Slow down.
Back it up.
I'm seeing someone.
James.
You know? Of course you know.
Doesn't matter.
What matters is, I went to buy condoms today, and there are, like, a billion choices, and I don't want to insult him by not buying magnums or buying them and making him think that my previous boyfriends are the Lakers.
Well, since when are you shy about sex? I I'm not.
I just don't want to offend James.
Ah, that's crap.
I think this is about you gettin' back in the saddle after a year.
I don't know.
Maybe.
You doin' what you need to do? I'm here talking to you.
That's not what I mean.
I am getting to meetings.
- You know why I'm asking.
- I know why you're asking.
When you meet someone new, sometimes sobriety takes a backseat.
You start cutting corners, and then You slip.
I get it.
Last time you had sex, you woke up to A dead Ryan.
Yes I remember.
But it's not gonna be a thing.
You sure? I'm sure.
I'm ready.
I just need that push.
Oh.
Ahh.
Ribbed, glow-in the dark, tingling.
They call this one "the soldier.
" Huh.
Trial and error.
Find out what works for you, and have fun doing it.
Oh.
Just in case.
Hey.
Wow.
Yeah? Please.
Hey.
Wow.
Do you have a condom? I didn't want to be presumptuous.
I have some.
I think.
You are so gorgeous.
You are so gorgeous.
What's wrong? Sorry.
Uh Can you not touch me? Are you You're here.
Yeah.
I got this thing where I can't let a date end in tears, so I was gonna make you breakfast, but you only have salsa, ice cream, and bread.
Bon appétit.
I owe you an explanation.
You don't.
I like you.
And last night, I wanted to.
I mean, I've got enough condoms to supply a frat house.
I thought I was ready.
But then when you started taking off my dress I haven't had sex with someone who mattered in a long time.
And now I'm sober, and I'm in a good place, but in some ways I'm still a mess.
So I'm giving you an out.
What do you want on your toast, salsa or ice cream? What are you lookin' at? You.
No, what are you looking at? I have a freckle.
What about it? It looks like Indiana.
Can I kiss it? Mm.
You're going to anyway.
I see a few more down here that require my attention.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
What are you thinking about? I don't know.
Don't know or won't say? I'm not thinking about anything.
And that's good.
Why don't you drink? You don't really I do.
Really.
I'm an alcoholic.
And I used to do oxy.
I fell in love, I thought, with an addict.
Mm.
I don't know why I said "I thought.
" I mean I do.
It's because I'm not sure anymore if I was actually in love with him, but to say that I wasn't feels cold, because he's gone.
I woke up from this amazing high to find him dead.
And it didn't feel fair when I found out I was pregnant.
This baby our baby helped me stay clean.
Maybe it would've gotten him clean and we could've I don't know about being in love with him because that time in my life the drugs I lived it, but it doesn't feel like my life.
You loved him.
We were sober together for, like, five minutes.
If it felt like love, then it was.
Don't let the perspective you have now diminish the feelings you had then.
That wouldn't be fair.
Have you ever been in love? Couple times.
Not counting Halle Berry.
What happened? With Halle? Mm-hmm.
I knew I wanted to see more than Dickson County, Tennessee.
I'd like to see it.
When you got an hour, I'll show you.
Something just doesn't sit right.
It doesn't bother you that there was only one lesion? Kaye? Yeah.
It would bother me if she were presenting with more lesions or more seizures, but she's not.
I don't know.
Her titers were high, but not incredibly.
Amelia, you did great for Kaye.
She's halfway to an Oscar as we speak.
Take the victory.
Mm.
This is a public service announcement from the American soci Throws it out of bounds, and that's gonna With happy dog dog chow Not this windbag again, please.
How do you keep up with what's going on in the world? I read the paper.
Mm.
Smarty-pants probably has a subscription to the "Times.
" The "Journal.
" I prefer objectivity in my news.
You're calling out one of the most esteemed news publications in the world for a lack of objectivity? How can it be objective if all of its reporters are progressives? Who did you vote for? In the last presidential who did you vote for? It's called a secret ballot, and it's the foundation of our democracy.
You're a Republican.
Because I wouldn't tell you who I voted for? Because you ended a sentence with "foundation of our democracy.
" I'm a conservative.
- Just say you're a Republican.
- No.
- Why? - Because you really, really want me to.
I'm in bed with a Republican.
I'm pretty sure it's not the first time.
Just think back to the best sex you've ever had.
Not funny.
- Deal breaker? - Abortion? - Pro-life.
- The death penalty? This is the sexiest pillow talk ever.
Don't try to avoid it.
The Bible says "an eye for an eye.
" Ohh! All right, that logic drives me crazy! You just said that you're for life, but you're for the death penalty? I am for life innocent life.
Whose job is it to judge innocence and guilt? Does the person who took Sarah Nelson deserve to live? Doesn't the Bible also say something about turn the other cheek and God's the only one who can judge and stuff like that? Wouldn't have pegged you as someone who would quote scripture.
I did not quote scripture.
I paraphrased.
And everybody knows that stuff.
Ugh.
"You are capable of being a great leader.
" So I'm not, I guess.
"You can't have rainbows without the rain.
" Is that insanely stupid or incredibly profound? It's a Dolly Parton quote.
I can't believe you know that.
I'm not the one being seduced by the philosophies of Dolly Parton.
Okay, we weren't all bequeathed a subscription to the "Journal" at birth.
How many other Alex P.
Keatons did your parents turn out? Just me.
I have, uh, three sisters and a brother who is as close to perfect as a human can be.
People looking for a higher power submit to him.
When I look at you, all I see is perfect.
My parents are coming into town.
Have dinner with us? Yes.
This liberal heathen desperately wants to meet your parents.
The sun's coming up.
The sun is coming up.
Thank you.
Hey.
Your parents get in all right? At the hotel now.
I just wanted to check in with you about tonight.
That chain restaurant in the mall because they're allergic to new experiences.
I mean, you're sure this is something you're ready to do? I it's not like they'll never be in L.
A.
again.
Look, if you've changed your mind and you don't want me to meet them No, no, no, it's not that.
It's What is it? I dreamt last night that the ceiling in the restaurant collapsed.
Everyone was all right, but I don't know.
Meeting the folks is a big deal.
Is this you freaking out? No.
Yeah.
Sort of.
I think it is.
I'm your girlfriend, and I am totally excited to meet your parents.
I wanted them to experience L.
A.
He took us to one of those restaurants where they don't cook the food.
For my money, you can't beat a restaurant with an unlimited salad bar.
Well, I wish they would put a limit on these cheese biscuits.
I am not gonna fit into my scrubs tomorrow.
That's a good one, Amelia.
You know, I was not expecting to like you as much as I do.
- Mom.
- No, I didn't mean it like that.
I just always envisioned that you would settle down somewhere near us and marry a local gal.
Oh, let's, uh, let's toast to new friends.
- New friends.
- Hear, hear.
New friends.
So, Amelia, do you have any siblings? Three sisters, one brother.
All doctors.
Oh.
Did your mother work? Yeah, she was a nurse in the Navy for 25 years.
Huh.
That's probably where y'all got the idea to be doctors.
Mm.
I teach English.
No idea where he got an aptitude for science.
But I couldn't be prouder.
Ah, I just direct traffic in the E.
R.
Amelia's the genius at the table.
He's being modest.
The night we met, he caught something I missed, saved a man's life.
Well, I'm not the least bit surprised, but then I might be a teeny bit biased.
It is cool seeing the three of you together as a family.
You guys get along really well.
It's nice.
Well, that is so sweet of you to say, hon.
You know, I think it might have to do with the fact that I was able to be at home when he was growing up.
What kind of surgery do you practice? - I'm a neurosurgeon.
- Oh.
Amelia.
Your job sounds as hard as rocket science.
Is that something you could ever do part-time? Mom, we talked about this.
Why would I do the thing I love part-time? Well, I was thinking, if you ever want to have children - I won't quit working.
- Amelia, you don't have to answer.
Mom, now is not the time.
I am just making polite conversation.
It's okay.
I can answer.
She promised not to interrogate you.
- Well, it's not an interrogation.
- You see? I just want to make sure that you're taken care of.
Mom, not the place, not the time, not your business.
Let's move on.
Well, I'm gonna have the chicken parmesan.
Ooh, that does sound good.
It's always good.
How about I get the francaise, this one? It has that mushrooms and zucchini.
I like zucchini.
I'd say it went pretty well.
You mean once I kept my mouth shut.
Well, she promised to play nice, but you know how mothers are.
I wasn't talking about her.
I was talking about you.
You cut me off.
I stopped her from asking you about things we haven't discussed yet.
It was like you didn't think that I had ideas about my own life.
Or you didn't trust me to talk to your mother.
I'm sorry if that's the way it came across.
It's just my mother I don't trust.
You know what? I will not be treated like a little child who needs to be silenced, all right? This is not working.
What are you talking about? Wait.
Are you breaking up with me? You need to go.
I'm not going anywhere.
We're just having an argument here.
Go.
No.
Fine.
Amelia.
Are you awake? I'm awake.
I might be hallucinating, but I'm awake.
I don't want to bother you.
I've been laying here for weeks.
Everything's a bother.
You look like death warmed over.
Thanks, Heidi Klum.
Mm.
I got a headache that would put Godzilla in a fetal position.
I don't know if it's noon or a quarter to midnight or, well, 1976.
It's 2:00 A.
M.
What the hell are you doing here? I couldn't fall asleep in the on-call room.
You on call? No.
I James and I had a fight.
He's still at my apartment, which, in an act of sheer freakin' brilliance, I stormed out of.
Who storms out of their own apartment? Ugh.
I'm so embarrassed.
I mean, I I was just trying to stand up for myself, and now Oh, God.
I'm so humiliated.
I can't go back.
I just I wanted I just need to sit with someone.
Sit.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Late night with James? Mm.
Something like that.
So it's going well? Things are fine.
Why do I get the feeling there's something you're not telling me? Why don't you get the feeling that I don't want to talk? I don't need a shrink.
I didn't need a matchmaker either, but that did not stop you from shoving dates in my face in some quest for true love that I did not even remotely hint at being interested in.
Just let it go.
Sorry.
Oh.
No.
Uh I'm sorry.
I didn't get much sleep last night.
No, you're right.
You are right.
I've been spending a lot of time on my couch alone, too.
And the thing is I'm not a young woman.
I mean, I know, I still got it, but I'm not young.
So sometimes I think maybe I will spend the rest of my life alone.
I have to go the hospital.
Violet, you can call me.
We can hang out in the couch in sweats together.
I got the page.
What happened? Another seizure.
I know.
I'm taking her for a C.
T.
to see what happened.
I thought you said the lesions were gone.
They were.
We'll figure this out, Kaye.
We will.
Please.
I can't what's wrong with me? I'll take it from here.
Glad you're okay.
I was worried.
You okay? Do I deserve someone? Amelia, of course.
I mean, why why do you Because I don't know if James and I can't work or if don't want us to.
I mean, at the end of the day, I'm a recovering addict with a dump truck full of baggage, right? And the worst tragedy that has ever struck James is having to put down his golden retriever.
You're not giving him any credit.
He's an E.
R.
doctor, right? He's he's seen things.
Sure.
Other people's tragedies.
That does not prepare someone to live with crazy day in and day out.
He's a Republican.
Do you even vote? That is not the point.
I don't think you're seeing the point.
You've been so strong this past year.
And there's no doubt in my mind that if you wanted to work through this, you could.
But what you're not seeing, and what I didn't really see until recently is, none of it matters.
The petty things that we argue about and wish we could change about the other person, it you want to know the only thing that matters? If someone will hold your hand when you have cancer.
Sheldon It's prostate, and I'm fine.
Well I hope I'm gonna be fine.
But I I've never been happier because I've found someone who'll hold my hand.
And trust me, that is that's all that matters.
So what was that fight really about? All the men I care about die.
My people live a long time.
I have an Uncle who's Amelia, I love you.
It's her heart.
What? Kaye.
The single lesion, the the lack of clusters, the the titers that that aren't that high It's her heart.
There's something in her heart.
She could be throwing emboli that are causing her to seize.
Echo confirmed a tumor in the left atrium of her heart.
What does that mean? As the tumor broke apart, you threw emboli, and one went to your brain.
That's what caused the lesion.
And subsequently, the seizures.
Lifesaving catch, Dr.
Shepherd.
You're in good hands.
Dr.
Bennett's gonna get the tumor.
You're gonna be up and running in no time.
Gonna be a hell of a story to tell at auditions.
Save it for Kimmel.
Todd Reiter.
Your first night, crazy night in the E.
R.
Spinal infection.
I told you to discharge, and you didn't.
Yeah? Everything we know, all the knowledge that we have pros, cons, probable causes, likely diagnosis, years of schooling, and it still comes down to instincts, and sometimes, all signs point one way, but but sometimes you just gotta get in your car and drive and forget that you know what failing looks like.
What are you I love you, too.