Regular Show (2010) s06e11 Episode Script
Sad Sax
1 C.
J.
, wait! Man.
C.
J.
, wait! Man.
I hate mistletoe.
Uh, hey, c.
J.
Thanks for coming.
Uh, hey, c.
J.
Thanks for coming.
Thanks for coming.
It's great to see you.
It's great to see you.
How's your week been going? It's great to see you.
How's your week been going? So, you wanted to tell how's your week been going? So, you wanted to tell me something? So, you wanted to tell me something? Oh, uh, right.
Me something? Oh, uh, right.
One sec.
I got you something.
Oh, uh, right.
One sec.
I got you something.
And I made this mixtape.
One sec.
I got you something.
And I made this mixtape.
All the songs are apologies.
And I made this mixtape.
All the songs are apologies.
I'll listen to it in all the songs are apologies.
I'll listen to it in the car.
I'll listen to it in the car.
Mordecai, just be The car.
Mordecai, just be Look, c.
J.
, I mordecai, just be Look, c.
J.
, I wanted to Look, c.
J.
, I wanted to Aah! Wanted to Aah! C.
J.
, I'm really sorry.
Aah! C.
J.
, I'm really sorry.
I don't know what happened.
C.
J.
, I'm really sorry.
I don't know what happened.
You don't? I don't know what happened.
You don't? Because I can refresh your You don't? Because I can refresh your memory.
Because I can refresh your memory.
No, no.
Memory.
No, no.
I just mean it was crazy.
No, no.
I just mean it was crazy.
It didn't mean anything, I I just mean it was crazy.
It didn't mean anything, I swear.
It didn't mean anything, I swear.
Margaret and I all that stuff swear.
Margaret and I all that stuff is in the past.
Margaret and I all that stuff is in the past.
It was just it was midnight, is in the past.
It was just it was midnight, and we were under mistletoe.
It was just it was midnight, and we were under mistletoe.
I was bound by mistletoe rules.
And we were under mistletoe.
I was bound by mistletoe rules.
I think that's, like, a real law I was bound by mistletoe rules.
I think that's, like, a real law in some countries.
I think that's, like, a real law in some countries.
Eileen, back me up on this.
In some countries.
Eileen, back me up on this.
Mordecai, what you did Eileen, back me up on this.
Mordecai, what you did ware le.
Mordecai, what you did ware le.
It took me this whole week to ware le.
It took me this whole week to start feeling like I could look it took me this whole week to start feeling like I could look at your face without wanting to start feeling like I could look at your face without wanting to break a chair over it.
At your face without wanting to break a chair over it.
Understandable.
Break a chair over it.
Understandable.
But if you're being Understandable.
But if you're being honest about this mistletoe But if you're being honest about this mistletoe thing, I mean I missed you.
Honest about this mistletoe thing, I mean I missed you.
I feel like I'm ready to forgive thing, I mean I missed you.
I feel like I'm ready to forgive and forget.
I feel like I'm ready to forgive and forget.
Whew! And forget.
Whew! As long as you swear Whew! As long as you swear there's nothing going on with As long as you swear there's nothing going on with you and Margaret.
There's nothing going on with you and Margaret.
I swear.
Honest.
You and Margaret.
I swear.
Honest.
I just want things to go back to I swear.
Honest.
I just want things to go back to how they were before.
I just want things to go back to how they were before.
Yeah.
Me too.
How they were before.
Yeah.
Me too.
Hangin' with Margaret just Yeah.
Me too.
hangin' with Margaret just a-feels so good hangin' with Margaret just a-feels so good Margaret? A-feels so good Margaret? - Margaret? - Oh, "in the past," huh? Oh, "in the past," huh? I thought it was.
Oh, "in the past," huh? I thought it was.
Then why is she calling I thought it was.
Then why is she calling you? Then why is she calling you? I don't know.
You? I don't know.
Why is she calling me? I don't know.
Why is she calling me? Nice custom ringtone, why is she calling me? Nice custom ringtone, you jerk! Nice custom ringtone, you jerk! C.
J.
! Wait! - You jerk! - C.
J.
! Wait! C.
J.
! Wait! Huh? Huh? - Huh? - Oh, hey! Mordecai! Oh, hey! Mordecai! Haven't seen you in a couple of oh, hey! Mordecai! Haven't seen you in a couple of days.
Haven't seen you in a couple of days.
How you doing? Days.
How you doing? Hey, sad sax guy.
How you doing? Hey, sad sax guy.
What are you doing here? Hey, sad sax guy.
What are you doing here? What are you doing here? I go wherever I'm needed.
I go wherever I'm needed.
Let me guess girl problems? I go wherever I'm needed.
Let me guess girl problems? Actually, yeah.
Let me guess girl problems? Actually, yeah.
How'd you know? Actually, yeah.
How'd you know? Brother, they don't call me how'd you know? Brother, they don't call me sad sax guy just because I play brother, they don't call me sad sax guy just because I play the sax and cry a lot.
Sad sax guy just because I play the sax and cry a lot.
I know a broken heart when I see the sax and cry a lot.
I know a broken heart when I see one.
I know a broken heart when I see one.
You tell me all about it, and one.
You tell me all about it, and let's see if we can't get this you tell me all about it, and let's see if we can't get this whole mess sorted out.
Let's see if we can't get this whole mess sorted out.
Well I was at whole mess sorted out.
Well I was at this party, and Well I was at this party, and Ah! Mistletoe incident? This party, and Ah! Mistletoe incident? Pff! Say no more, bro.
Ah! Mistletoe incident? Pff! Say no more, bro.
I know all about it.
Pff! Say no more, bro.
I know all about it.
I'll tell you what because I know all about it.
I'll tell you what because I'm a man of romance, I'm gonna I'll tell you what because I'm a man of romance, I'm gonna get you two back together.
I'm a man of romance, I'm gonna get you two back together.
You are? How? Get you two back together.
You are? How? I know a guy.
I know a guy.
He'll hook you up.
He'll hook you up.
Ohhh ohhh here's a singing telegram, ohhh here's a singing telegram, apology in song here's a singing telegram, apology in song mordecai was quite a jerk, apology in song mordecai was quite a jerk, he knows he did you wrong mordecai was quite a jerk, he knows he did you wrong but let's be fair, he He knows he did you wrong but let's be fair, he Okay, okay.
But let's be fair, he Okay, okay.
Hold on a sec.
Okay, okay.
Hold on a sec.
Do you know what he actually did hold on a sec.
Do you know what he actually did to me? Do you know what he actually did to me? Well, they don't give us that to me? Well, they don't give us that information, ma'am.
Well, they don't give us that information, ma'am.
Information, ma'am.
So Did it work? So Did it work? You disgust me.
So Did it work? You disgust me.
Ohhh You disgust me.
Ohhh hoo! Ohhh hoo! It's worse than I thought.
Hoo! It's worse than I thought.
That guy's successfully it's worse than I thought.
That guy's successfully apologized for arson.
That guy's successfully apologized for arson.
Whew! This is a tough one.
Apologized for arson.
Whew! This is a tough one.
No worries, though, brother.
Whew! This is a tough one.
No worries, though, brother.
Lucky for you - No worries, though, brother.
- Lucky for you - Lucky for you - I'm full of brilliant ideas.
I'm full of brilliant ideas.
So, what should I I'm full of brilliant ideas.
So, what should I try next? So, what should I try next? Well, if I know women and try next? Well, if I know women and let's be honest, I do I know well, if I know women and let's be honest, I do I know there's one thing they'll love let's be honest, I do I know there's one thing they'll love more than anything else, there's one thing they'll love more than anything else, embarrassingly elaborate public more than anything else, embarrassingly elaborate public displays of affection.
Embarrassingly elaborate public displays of affection.
Here's the plan.
Mordecai, stop! Don't do it! Rigby, get off! Don't do it! Rigby, get off! What are you talking about? Rigby, get off! What are you talking about? Don't act like you what are you talking about? Don't act like you don't know.
Don't act like you don't know.
You've been talking to that don't know.
You've been talking to that saxophone guy again.
You've been talking to that saxophone guy again.
Admit it! Saxophone guy again.
Admit it! So what if I have? Admit it! So what if I have? Dude, he gives the So what if I have? Dude, he gives the worst advice in the world.
Dude, he gives the worst advice in the world.
Remember when he gave you advice worst advice in the world.
Remember when he gave you advice in art school 'cause you were remember when he gave you advice in art school 'cause you were failing sculpture? In art school 'cause you were failing sculpture? Pff! That's it? Easy.
Failing sculpture? Pff! That's it? Easy.
Make a sculpture of your pff! That's it? Easy.
Make a sculpture of your instructor's "human form.
" Make a sculpture of your instructor's "human form.
" Yeah, that didn't instructor's "human form.
" Yeah, that didn't go so well.
Yeah, that didn't go so well.
You think? Go so well.
You think? It'll be different You think? It'll be different this time.
It'll be different this time.
He says he understands women.
This time.
He says he understands women.
He doesn't even he says he understands women.
He doesn't even understand how to wear a shirt! He doesn't even understand how to wear a shirt! Whatever, dude.
Understand how to wear a shirt! Whatever, dude.
Talk to me when your Whatever, dude.
Talk to me when your relationship advice is any talk to me when your relationship advice is any better.
Relationship advice is any better.
Dang, man! Better.
Dang, man! I can't believe faking your dang, man! I can't believe faking your death didn't work.
I can't believe faking your death didn't work.
Okay.
Okay.
I got this.
Death didn't work.
Okay.
Okay.
I got this.
C.
J.
'S mad 'cause you smooched okay.
Okay.
I got this.
C.
J.
'S mad 'cause you smooched another lady, right? C.
J.
'S mad 'cause you smooched another lady, right? So just call up this other lady another lady, right? So just call up this other lady and get her to talk to c.
J.
And so just call up this other lady and get her to talk to c.
J.
And clear the air.
And get her to talk to c.
J.
And clear the air.
Get Margaret to clear the air.
Get Margaret to talk to c.
J.
? Get Margaret to talk to c.
J.
? That sounds pretty risky.
Talk to c.
J.
? That sounds pretty risky.
You don't get anywhere in that sounds pretty risky.
You don't get anywhere in life without risks, brother.
You don't get anywhere in life without risks, brother.
I take stupid risks all the life without risks, brother.
I take stupid risks all the time, and look at me! I take stupid risks all the time, and look at me! Thanks for coming, time, and look at me! Thanks for coming, Margaret.
Thanks for coming, Margaret.
I'm just glad we Margaret.
I'm just glad we could finally talk.
I'm just glad we could finally talk.
I'm sorry for any trouble I could finally talk.
I'm sorry for any trouble I caused you guys, but I don't I'm sorry for any trouble I caused you guys, but I don't think it's a good idea for me to caused you guys, but I don't think it's a good idea for me to get involved.
Think it's a good idea for me to get involved.
Yeah.
Get involved.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
If it's any you're probably right.
If it's any consolation, I think c.
J.
Will If it's any consolation, I think c.
J.
Will come around.
Consolation, I think c.
J.
Will come around.
Thanks, Margaret.
Come around.
Thanks, Margaret.
You're a good friend.
Thanks, Margaret.
You're a good friend.
Listen, mordecai.
You're a good friend.
Listen, mordecai.
Maybe I shouldn't have broken Listen, mordecai.
Maybe I shouldn't have broken that sign on your head.
Maybe I shouldn't have broken that sign on your head.
And I guess the cheerleader that sign on your head.
And I guess the cheerleader thing was kind of clever.
And I guess the cheerleader thing was kind of clever.
Oh, come on! Thing was kind of clever.
Oh, come on! Huh? Oh, come on! Huh? Huh? C.
J.
, wait! Let me explain! C.
J.
, wait! Let me explain! It was just a hug! - C.
J.
, wait! Let me explain! - It was just a hug! - It was just a hug! - Sorry, mordecai.
Sorry, mordecai.
I better go before I somehow Sorry, mordecai.
I better go before I somehow make things even worse.
I better go before I somehow make things even worse.
Good luck.
Make things even worse.
Good luck.
Bye.
Good luck.
Bye.
Man.
Bummer week, huh? Bye.
Man.
Bummer week, huh? No offense Man.
Bummer week, huh? No offense But your game could use some no offense But your game could use some serious tweaks, brother but your game could use some serious tweaks, brother You! Serious tweaks, brother You! Aah! You! Aah! This is all your aah! This is all your fault! This is all your fault! What'd I do? Fault! What'd I do? I never should have what'd I do? I never should have listened to you.
I never should have listened to you.
You don't know anything about listened to you.
You don't know anything about art and you definitely don't you don't know anything about art and you definitely don't know anything about women! Art and you definitely don't know anything about women! I did everything you told me, know anything about women! I did everything you told me, and it just made everything I did everything you told me, and it just made everything 10 times worse! And it just made everything 10 times worse! Aaaah! 10 times worse! Aaaah! It's true! I'm a total fraud! Aaaah! It's true! I'm a total fraud! I don't know nothin' about it's true! I'm a total fraud! I don't know nothin' about nothin'.
I don't know nothin' about nothin'.
- Nothin'.
- I just tell people what to do to I just tell people what to do to try and feel like a big man! I just tell people what to do to try and feel like a big man! I don't even know how to play try and feel like a big man! I don't even know how to play this thing, except for one song! I don't even know how to play this thing, except for one song! And I wouldn't even know that if this thing, except for one song! And I wouldn't even know that if my mom hadn't forced me to go and I wouldn't even know that if my mom hadn't forced me to go take a lesson.
My mom hadn't forced me to go take a lesson.
I'm a hot mess! Take a lesson.
I'm a hot mess! Wait! Of course! I'm a hot mess! Wait! Of course! Mordecai, that's it.
Wait! Of course! Mordecai, that's it.
Your mom! Mordecai, that's it.
Your mom! Dude, are you your mom! Dude, are you calling my mom a hot mess? Dude, are you calling my mom a hot mess? What? N-no, no.
Calling my mom a hot mess? What? N-no, no.
I mean, go ask your mom for what? N-no, no.
I mean, go ask your mom for advice, brother! I mean, go ask your mom for advice, brother! They know everything.
Advice, brother! They know everything.
Especially when it comes to they know everything.
Especially when it comes to women.
Especially when it comes to women.
Dude, that's the women.
Dude, that's the only good advice you've ever Dude, that's the only good advice you've ever given me.
Only good advice you've ever given me.
Boy, you got yourself into a given me.
Boy, you got yourself into a real hornet's nest on this one, boy, you got yourself into a real hornet's nest on this one, mord.
Real hornet's nest on this one, mord.
I'll let you in on a family mord.
I'll let you in on a family secret.
I'll let you in on a family secret.
Your dad and I have been married secret.
Your dad and I have been married a long time now, and I attribute your dad and I have been married a long time now, and I attribute our success to one rule.
A long time now, and I attribute our success to one rule.
No lies? Our success to one rule.
No lies? That's the one! No lies? That's the one! A good, honest conversation can that's the one! A good, honest conversation can solve any problem.
A good, honest conversation can solve any problem.
No texting, no e-mails, just the solve any problem.
No texting, no e-mails, just the truth face-to-face.
No texting, no e-mails, just the truth face-to-face.
But she won't truth face-to-face.
But she won't answer my phone calls, let alone But she won't answer my phone calls, let alone look me in the face.
Answer my phone calls, let alone look me in the face.
You'll just have to get her look me in the face.
You'll just have to get her attention first.
You'll just have to get her attention first.
Then just follow my other attention first.
Then just follow my other rule go big or go home.
Then just follow my other rule go big or go home.
Or make her some food in the rule go big or go home.
Or make her some food in the shape of her face.
Or make her some food in the shape of her face.
Thanks, mom.
Shape of her face.
Thanks, mom.
Ugh! You're super-sweaty.
Thanks, mom.
Ugh! You're super-sweaty.
Time to go big, or go home.
Let's hurry, boys.
Go home.
Let's hurry, boys.
We still have six nativity let's hurry, boys.
We still have six nativity scenes to take down tonight.
We still have six nativity scenes to take down tonight.
Hey! That guy's messing with our scenes to take down tonight.
Hey! That guy's messing with our scissor lift! Hey! That guy's messing with our scissor lift! Hey! Stop that! Scissor lift! Hey! Stop that! We just took all that stuff hey! Stop that! We just took all that stuff down! We just took all that stuff down! Quit screwin' up our profit down! Quit screwin' up our profit margins, bro! Quit screwin' up our profit margins, bro! Yeah! Margins, bro! Yeah! Come down here with those lights yeah! Come down here with those lights so we can punch yours out! Come down here with those lights so we can punch yours out! Nice threat, dude.
So we can punch yours out! Nice threat, dude.
Thanks.
Nice threat, dude.
Thanks.
It's kind of my thing.
Thanks.
It's kind of my thing.
I'm sorry! It's kind of my thing.
I'm sorry! I got to do this to get my I'm sorry! I got to do this to get my girlfriend to talk to me! I got to do this to get my girlfriend to talk to me! Nobody cares, bro! Girlfriend to talk to me! Nobody cares, bro! Get off the lift and take your nobody cares, bro! Get off the lift and take your beating! Get off the lift and take your beating! Yeah! Beating! Yeah! Didn't you see the truck? Yeah! Didn't you see the truck? The party's over! Didn't you see the truck? The party's over! We don't get paid until we take the party's over! We don't get paid until we take all these lights down! We don't get paid until we take all these lights down! The party's not all these lights down! The party's not over! The party's not over! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Over! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on out whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on out there? What's going on out there? I don't know.
There? I don't know.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I don't know.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What the heck is he whoa! Whoa! What the heck is he doing? What the heck is he doing? Rigby, you're missing doing? Rigby, you're missing the part where Dracula shows up.
Rigby, you're missing the part where Dracula shows up.
Whoa! - The part where Dracula shows up.
- Whoa! Whoa! What? Oh, man, no! What? Oh, man, no! Whoa! What? Oh, man, no! Whoa! Rigby, please! Whoa! Rigby, please! Aaaah! Rigby, please! Aaaah! Rigby, what the heck?! Aaaah! Rigby, what the heck?! Are you crazy or mordecai? Rigby, what the heck?! Are you crazy or mordecai? Are you crazy or mordecai? It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.
- I've ever seen in my life.
- Me too.
My head.
Huh? My head.
Huh? How you doing? My head.
Huh? How you doing? Never better.
How you doing? Never better.
I didn't think you were ever Never better.
I didn't think you were ever gonna talk to me again.
I didn't think you were ever gonna talk to me again.
Yeah.
Nice trick gonna talk to me again.
Yeah.
Nice trick putting me down as your Yeah.
Nice trick putting me down as your emergency contact.
Putting me down as your emergency contact.
Yes! Emergency contact.
Yes! I'm so smart.
Yes! I'm so smart.
So, look, I'm glad I'm so smart.
So, look, I'm glad you're okay, but we need to So, look, I'm glad you're okay, but we need to clear the air.
You're okay, but we need to clear the air.
I have to know what's going on clear the air.
I have to know what's going on between you and Margaret.
I have to know what's going on between you and Margaret.
No more weirdness, no candy, no between you and Margaret.
No more weirdness, no candy, no Teddy bears.
No more weirdness, no candy, no Teddy bears.
Be straight with me.
Teddy bears.
Be straight with me.
Margaret and I Be straight with me.
Margaret and I Margaret means a lot to me.
Margaret and I Margaret means a lot to me.
I was in love with Margaret for Margaret means a lot to me.
I was in love with Margaret for a long time, and when we broke I was in love with Margaret for a long time, and when we broke up, it hurt for just as long.
A long time, and when we broke up, it hurt for just as long.
Seeing her at the Christmas up, it hurt for just as long.
Seeing her at the Christmas party brought up a lot of stuff seeing her at the Christmas party brought up a lot of stuff for me that I wasn't ready to party brought up a lot of stuff for me that I wasn't ready to deal with, and I acted like an for me that I wasn't ready to deal with, and I acted like an idiot.
Deal with, and I acted like an idiot.
C.
J.
, I screwed up.
Idiot.
C.
J.
, I screwed up.
I feel terrible for hurting you.
C.
J.
, I screwed up.
I feel terrible for hurting you.
But Margaret and I are over now.
I feel terrible for hurting you.
But Margaret and I are over now.
I understand if you hate my but Margaret and I are over now.
I understand if you hate my guts, but I hope you know that I I understand if you hate my guts, but I hope you know that I don't want to be with anybody guts, but I hope you know that I don't want to be with anybody but you.
Don't want to be with anybody but you.
Thanks for being but you.
Thanks for being honest, mordecai.
Thanks for being honest, mordecai.
I think we can give this one honest, mordecai.
I think we can give this one more shot.
I think we can give this one more shot.
More shot.
J.
, wait! Man.
C.
J.
, wait! Man.
I hate mistletoe.
Uh, hey, c.
J.
Thanks for coming.
Uh, hey, c.
J.
Thanks for coming.
Thanks for coming.
It's great to see you.
It's great to see you.
How's your week been going? It's great to see you.
How's your week been going? So, you wanted to tell how's your week been going? So, you wanted to tell me something? So, you wanted to tell me something? Oh, uh, right.
Me something? Oh, uh, right.
One sec.
I got you something.
Oh, uh, right.
One sec.
I got you something.
And I made this mixtape.
One sec.
I got you something.
And I made this mixtape.
All the songs are apologies.
And I made this mixtape.
All the songs are apologies.
I'll listen to it in all the songs are apologies.
I'll listen to it in the car.
I'll listen to it in the car.
Mordecai, just be The car.
Mordecai, just be Look, c.
J.
, I mordecai, just be Look, c.
J.
, I wanted to Look, c.
J.
, I wanted to Aah! Wanted to Aah! C.
J.
, I'm really sorry.
Aah! C.
J.
, I'm really sorry.
I don't know what happened.
C.
J.
, I'm really sorry.
I don't know what happened.
You don't? I don't know what happened.
You don't? Because I can refresh your You don't? Because I can refresh your memory.
Because I can refresh your memory.
No, no.
Memory.
No, no.
I just mean it was crazy.
No, no.
I just mean it was crazy.
It didn't mean anything, I I just mean it was crazy.
It didn't mean anything, I swear.
It didn't mean anything, I swear.
Margaret and I all that stuff swear.
Margaret and I all that stuff is in the past.
Margaret and I all that stuff is in the past.
It was just it was midnight, is in the past.
It was just it was midnight, and we were under mistletoe.
It was just it was midnight, and we were under mistletoe.
I was bound by mistletoe rules.
And we were under mistletoe.
I was bound by mistletoe rules.
I think that's, like, a real law I was bound by mistletoe rules.
I think that's, like, a real law in some countries.
I think that's, like, a real law in some countries.
Eileen, back me up on this.
In some countries.
Eileen, back me up on this.
Mordecai, what you did Eileen, back me up on this.
Mordecai, what you did ware le.
Mordecai, what you did ware le.
It took me this whole week to ware le.
It took me this whole week to start feeling like I could look it took me this whole week to start feeling like I could look at your face without wanting to start feeling like I could look at your face without wanting to break a chair over it.
At your face without wanting to break a chair over it.
Understandable.
Break a chair over it.
Understandable.
But if you're being Understandable.
But if you're being honest about this mistletoe But if you're being honest about this mistletoe thing, I mean I missed you.
Honest about this mistletoe thing, I mean I missed you.
I feel like I'm ready to forgive thing, I mean I missed you.
I feel like I'm ready to forgive and forget.
I feel like I'm ready to forgive and forget.
Whew! And forget.
Whew! As long as you swear Whew! As long as you swear there's nothing going on with As long as you swear there's nothing going on with you and Margaret.
There's nothing going on with you and Margaret.
I swear.
Honest.
You and Margaret.
I swear.
Honest.
I just want things to go back to I swear.
Honest.
I just want things to go back to how they were before.
I just want things to go back to how they were before.
Yeah.
Me too.
How they were before.
Yeah.
Me too.
Hangin' with Margaret just Yeah.
Me too.
hangin' with Margaret just a-feels so good hangin' with Margaret just a-feels so good Margaret? A-feels so good Margaret? - Margaret? - Oh, "in the past," huh? Oh, "in the past," huh? I thought it was.
Oh, "in the past," huh? I thought it was.
Then why is she calling I thought it was.
Then why is she calling you? Then why is she calling you? I don't know.
You? I don't know.
Why is she calling me? I don't know.
Why is she calling me? Nice custom ringtone, why is she calling me? Nice custom ringtone, you jerk! Nice custom ringtone, you jerk! C.
J.
! Wait! - You jerk! - C.
J.
! Wait! C.
J.
! Wait! Huh? Huh? - Huh? - Oh, hey! Mordecai! Oh, hey! Mordecai! Haven't seen you in a couple of oh, hey! Mordecai! Haven't seen you in a couple of days.
Haven't seen you in a couple of days.
How you doing? Days.
How you doing? Hey, sad sax guy.
How you doing? Hey, sad sax guy.
What are you doing here? Hey, sad sax guy.
What are you doing here? What are you doing here? I go wherever I'm needed.
I go wherever I'm needed.
Let me guess girl problems? I go wherever I'm needed.
Let me guess girl problems? Actually, yeah.
Let me guess girl problems? Actually, yeah.
How'd you know? Actually, yeah.
How'd you know? Brother, they don't call me how'd you know? Brother, they don't call me sad sax guy just because I play brother, they don't call me sad sax guy just because I play the sax and cry a lot.
Sad sax guy just because I play the sax and cry a lot.
I know a broken heart when I see the sax and cry a lot.
I know a broken heart when I see one.
I know a broken heart when I see one.
You tell me all about it, and one.
You tell me all about it, and let's see if we can't get this you tell me all about it, and let's see if we can't get this whole mess sorted out.
Let's see if we can't get this whole mess sorted out.
Well I was at whole mess sorted out.
Well I was at this party, and Well I was at this party, and Ah! Mistletoe incident? This party, and Ah! Mistletoe incident? Pff! Say no more, bro.
Ah! Mistletoe incident? Pff! Say no more, bro.
I know all about it.
Pff! Say no more, bro.
I know all about it.
I'll tell you what because I know all about it.
I'll tell you what because I'm a man of romance, I'm gonna I'll tell you what because I'm a man of romance, I'm gonna get you two back together.
I'm a man of romance, I'm gonna get you two back together.
You are? How? Get you two back together.
You are? How? I know a guy.
I know a guy.
He'll hook you up.
He'll hook you up.
Ohhh ohhh here's a singing telegram, ohhh here's a singing telegram, apology in song here's a singing telegram, apology in song mordecai was quite a jerk, apology in song mordecai was quite a jerk, he knows he did you wrong mordecai was quite a jerk, he knows he did you wrong but let's be fair, he He knows he did you wrong but let's be fair, he Okay, okay.
But let's be fair, he Okay, okay.
Hold on a sec.
Okay, okay.
Hold on a sec.
Do you know what he actually did hold on a sec.
Do you know what he actually did to me? Do you know what he actually did to me? Well, they don't give us that to me? Well, they don't give us that information, ma'am.
Well, they don't give us that information, ma'am.
Information, ma'am.
So Did it work? So Did it work? You disgust me.
So Did it work? You disgust me.
Ohhh You disgust me.
Ohhh hoo! Ohhh hoo! It's worse than I thought.
Hoo! It's worse than I thought.
That guy's successfully it's worse than I thought.
That guy's successfully apologized for arson.
That guy's successfully apologized for arson.
Whew! This is a tough one.
Apologized for arson.
Whew! This is a tough one.
No worries, though, brother.
Whew! This is a tough one.
No worries, though, brother.
Lucky for you - No worries, though, brother.
- Lucky for you - Lucky for you - I'm full of brilliant ideas.
I'm full of brilliant ideas.
So, what should I I'm full of brilliant ideas.
So, what should I try next? So, what should I try next? Well, if I know women and try next? Well, if I know women and let's be honest, I do I know well, if I know women and let's be honest, I do I know there's one thing they'll love let's be honest, I do I know there's one thing they'll love more than anything else, there's one thing they'll love more than anything else, embarrassingly elaborate public more than anything else, embarrassingly elaborate public displays of affection.
Embarrassingly elaborate public displays of affection.
Here's the plan.
Mordecai, stop! Don't do it! Rigby, get off! Don't do it! Rigby, get off! What are you talking about? Rigby, get off! What are you talking about? Don't act like you what are you talking about? Don't act like you don't know.
Don't act like you don't know.
You've been talking to that don't know.
You've been talking to that saxophone guy again.
You've been talking to that saxophone guy again.
Admit it! Saxophone guy again.
Admit it! So what if I have? Admit it! So what if I have? Dude, he gives the So what if I have? Dude, he gives the worst advice in the world.
Dude, he gives the worst advice in the world.
Remember when he gave you advice worst advice in the world.
Remember when he gave you advice in art school 'cause you were remember when he gave you advice in art school 'cause you were failing sculpture? In art school 'cause you were failing sculpture? Pff! That's it? Easy.
Failing sculpture? Pff! That's it? Easy.
Make a sculpture of your pff! That's it? Easy.
Make a sculpture of your instructor's "human form.
" Make a sculpture of your instructor's "human form.
" Yeah, that didn't instructor's "human form.
" Yeah, that didn't go so well.
Yeah, that didn't go so well.
You think? Go so well.
You think? It'll be different You think? It'll be different this time.
It'll be different this time.
He says he understands women.
This time.
He says he understands women.
He doesn't even he says he understands women.
He doesn't even understand how to wear a shirt! He doesn't even understand how to wear a shirt! Whatever, dude.
Understand how to wear a shirt! Whatever, dude.
Talk to me when your Whatever, dude.
Talk to me when your relationship advice is any talk to me when your relationship advice is any better.
Relationship advice is any better.
Dang, man! Better.
Dang, man! I can't believe faking your dang, man! I can't believe faking your death didn't work.
I can't believe faking your death didn't work.
Okay.
Okay.
I got this.
Death didn't work.
Okay.
Okay.
I got this.
C.
J.
'S mad 'cause you smooched okay.
Okay.
I got this.
C.
J.
'S mad 'cause you smooched another lady, right? C.
J.
'S mad 'cause you smooched another lady, right? So just call up this other lady another lady, right? So just call up this other lady and get her to talk to c.
J.
And so just call up this other lady and get her to talk to c.
J.
And clear the air.
And get her to talk to c.
J.
And clear the air.
Get Margaret to clear the air.
Get Margaret to talk to c.
J.
? Get Margaret to talk to c.
J.
? That sounds pretty risky.
Talk to c.
J.
? That sounds pretty risky.
You don't get anywhere in that sounds pretty risky.
You don't get anywhere in life without risks, brother.
You don't get anywhere in life without risks, brother.
I take stupid risks all the life without risks, brother.
I take stupid risks all the time, and look at me! I take stupid risks all the time, and look at me! Thanks for coming, time, and look at me! Thanks for coming, Margaret.
Thanks for coming, Margaret.
I'm just glad we Margaret.
I'm just glad we could finally talk.
I'm just glad we could finally talk.
I'm sorry for any trouble I could finally talk.
I'm sorry for any trouble I caused you guys, but I don't I'm sorry for any trouble I caused you guys, but I don't think it's a good idea for me to caused you guys, but I don't think it's a good idea for me to get involved.
Think it's a good idea for me to get involved.
Yeah.
Get involved.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
Yeah.
You're probably right.
If it's any you're probably right.
If it's any consolation, I think c.
J.
Will If it's any consolation, I think c.
J.
Will come around.
Consolation, I think c.
J.
Will come around.
Thanks, Margaret.
Come around.
Thanks, Margaret.
You're a good friend.
Thanks, Margaret.
You're a good friend.
Listen, mordecai.
You're a good friend.
Listen, mordecai.
Maybe I shouldn't have broken Listen, mordecai.
Maybe I shouldn't have broken that sign on your head.
Maybe I shouldn't have broken that sign on your head.
And I guess the cheerleader that sign on your head.
And I guess the cheerleader thing was kind of clever.
And I guess the cheerleader thing was kind of clever.
Oh, come on! Thing was kind of clever.
Oh, come on! Huh? Oh, come on! Huh? Huh? C.
J.
, wait! Let me explain! C.
J.
, wait! Let me explain! It was just a hug! - C.
J.
, wait! Let me explain! - It was just a hug! - It was just a hug! - Sorry, mordecai.
Sorry, mordecai.
I better go before I somehow Sorry, mordecai.
I better go before I somehow make things even worse.
I better go before I somehow make things even worse.
Good luck.
Make things even worse.
Good luck.
Bye.
Good luck.
Bye.
Man.
Bummer week, huh? Bye.
Man.
Bummer week, huh? No offense Man.
Bummer week, huh? No offense But your game could use some no offense But your game could use some serious tweaks, brother but your game could use some serious tweaks, brother You! Serious tweaks, brother You! Aah! You! Aah! This is all your aah! This is all your fault! This is all your fault! What'd I do? Fault! What'd I do? I never should have what'd I do? I never should have listened to you.
I never should have listened to you.
You don't know anything about listened to you.
You don't know anything about art and you definitely don't you don't know anything about art and you definitely don't know anything about women! Art and you definitely don't know anything about women! I did everything you told me, know anything about women! I did everything you told me, and it just made everything I did everything you told me, and it just made everything 10 times worse! And it just made everything 10 times worse! Aaaah! 10 times worse! Aaaah! It's true! I'm a total fraud! Aaaah! It's true! I'm a total fraud! I don't know nothin' about it's true! I'm a total fraud! I don't know nothin' about nothin'.
I don't know nothin' about nothin'.
- Nothin'.
- I just tell people what to do to I just tell people what to do to try and feel like a big man! I just tell people what to do to try and feel like a big man! I don't even know how to play try and feel like a big man! I don't even know how to play this thing, except for one song! I don't even know how to play this thing, except for one song! And I wouldn't even know that if this thing, except for one song! And I wouldn't even know that if my mom hadn't forced me to go and I wouldn't even know that if my mom hadn't forced me to go take a lesson.
My mom hadn't forced me to go take a lesson.
I'm a hot mess! Take a lesson.
I'm a hot mess! Wait! Of course! I'm a hot mess! Wait! Of course! Mordecai, that's it.
Wait! Of course! Mordecai, that's it.
Your mom! Mordecai, that's it.
Your mom! Dude, are you your mom! Dude, are you calling my mom a hot mess? Dude, are you calling my mom a hot mess? What? N-no, no.
Calling my mom a hot mess? What? N-no, no.
I mean, go ask your mom for what? N-no, no.
I mean, go ask your mom for advice, brother! I mean, go ask your mom for advice, brother! They know everything.
Advice, brother! They know everything.
Especially when it comes to they know everything.
Especially when it comes to women.
Especially when it comes to women.
Dude, that's the women.
Dude, that's the only good advice you've ever Dude, that's the only good advice you've ever given me.
Only good advice you've ever given me.
Boy, you got yourself into a given me.
Boy, you got yourself into a real hornet's nest on this one, boy, you got yourself into a real hornet's nest on this one, mord.
Real hornet's nest on this one, mord.
I'll let you in on a family mord.
I'll let you in on a family secret.
I'll let you in on a family secret.
Your dad and I have been married secret.
Your dad and I have been married a long time now, and I attribute your dad and I have been married a long time now, and I attribute our success to one rule.
A long time now, and I attribute our success to one rule.
No lies? Our success to one rule.
No lies? That's the one! No lies? That's the one! A good, honest conversation can that's the one! A good, honest conversation can solve any problem.
A good, honest conversation can solve any problem.
No texting, no e-mails, just the solve any problem.
No texting, no e-mails, just the truth face-to-face.
No texting, no e-mails, just the truth face-to-face.
But she won't truth face-to-face.
But she won't answer my phone calls, let alone But she won't answer my phone calls, let alone look me in the face.
Answer my phone calls, let alone look me in the face.
You'll just have to get her look me in the face.
You'll just have to get her attention first.
You'll just have to get her attention first.
Then just follow my other attention first.
Then just follow my other rule go big or go home.
Then just follow my other rule go big or go home.
Or make her some food in the rule go big or go home.
Or make her some food in the shape of her face.
Or make her some food in the shape of her face.
Thanks, mom.
Shape of her face.
Thanks, mom.
Ugh! You're super-sweaty.
Thanks, mom.
Ugh! You're super-sweaty.
Time to go big, or go home.
Let's hurry, boys.
Go home.
Let's hurry, boys.
We still have six nativity let's hurry, boys.
We still have six nativity scenes to take down tonight.
We still have six nativity scenes to take down tonight.
Hey! That guy's messing with our scenes to take down tonight.
Hey! That guy's messing with our scissor lift! Hey! That guy's messing with our scissor lift! Hey! Stop that! Scissor lift! Hey! Stop that! We just took all that stuff hey! Stop that! We just took all that stuff down! We just took all that stuff down! Quit screwin' up our profit down! Quit screwin' up our profit margins, bro! Quit screwin' up our profit margins, bro! Yeah! Margins, bro! Yeah! Come down here with those lights yeah! Come down here with those lights so we can punch yours out! Come down here with those lights so we can punch yours out! Nice threat, dude.
So we can punch yours out! Nice threat, dude.
Thanks.
Nice threat, dude.
Thanks.
It's kind of my thing.
Thanks.
It's kind of my thing.
I'm sorry! It's kind of my thing.
I'm sorry! I got to do this to get my I'm sorry! I got to do this to get my girlfriend to talk to me! I got to do this to get my girlfriend to talk to me! Nobody cares, bro! Girlfriend to talk to me! Nobody cares, bro! Get off the lift and take your nobody cares, bro! Get off the lift and take your beating! Get off the lift and take your beating! Yeah! Beating! Yeah! Didn't you see the truck? Yeah! Didn't you see the truck? The party's over! Didn't you see the truck? The party's over! We don't get paid until we take the party's over! We don't get paid until we take all these lights down! We don't get paid until we take all these lights down! The party's not all these lights down! The party's not over! The party's not over! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Over! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on out whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on out there? What's going on out there? I don't know.
There? I don't know.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I don't know.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What the heck is he whoa! Whoa! What the heck is he doing? What the heck is he doing? Rigby, you're missing doing? Rigby, you're missing the part where Dracula shows up.
Rigby, you're missing the part where Dracula shows up.
Whoa! - The part where Dracula shows up.
- Whoa! Whoa! What? Oh, man, no! What? Oh, man, no! Whoa! What? Oh, man, no! Whoa! Rigby, please! Whoa! Rigby, please! Aaaah! Rigby, please! Aaaah! Rigby, what the heck?! Aaaah! Rigby, what the heck?! Are you crazy or mordecai? Rigby, what the heck?! Are you crazy or mordecai? Are you crazy or mordecai? It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life.
- I've ever seen in my life.
- Me too.
My head.
Huh? My head.
Huh? How you doing? My head.
Huh? How you doing? Never better.
How you doing? Never better.
I didn't think you were ever Never better.
I didn't think you were ever gonna talk to me again.
I didn't think you were ever gonna talk to me again.
Yeah.
Nice trick gonna talk to me again.
Yeah.
Nice trick putting me down as your Yeah.
Nice trick putting me down as your emergency contact.
Putting me down as your emergency contact.
Yes! Emergency contact.
Yes! I'm so smart.
Yes! I'm so smart.
So, look, I'm glad I'm so smart.
So, look, I'm glad you're okay, but we need to So, look, I'm glad you're okay, but we need to clear the air.
You're okay, but we need to clear the air.
I have to know what's going on clear the air.
I have to know what's going on between you and Margaret.
I have to know what's going on between you and Margaret.
No more weirdness, no candy, no between you and Margaret.
No more weirdness, no candy, no Teddy bears.
No more weirdness, no candy, no Teddy bears.
Be straight with me.
Teddy bears.
Be straight with me.
Margaret and I Be straight with me.
Margaret and I Margaret means a lot to me.
Margaret and I Margaret means a lot to me.
I was in love with Margaret for Margaret means a lot to me.
I was in love with Margaret for a long time, and when we broke I was in love with Margaret for a long time, and when we broke up, it hurt for just as long.
A long time, and when we broke up, it hurt for just as long.
Seeing her at the Christmas up, it hurt for just as long.
Seeing her at the Christmas party brought up a lot of stuff seeing her at the Christmas party brought up a lot of stuff for me that I wasn't ready to party brought up a lot of stuff for me that I wasn't ready to deal with, and I acted like an for me that I wasn't ready to deal with, and I acted like an idiot.
Deal with, and I acted like an idiot.
C.
J.
, I screwed up.
Idiot.
C.
J.
, I screwed up.
I feel terrible for hurting you.
C.
J.
, I screwed up.
I feel terrible for hurting you.
But Margaret and I are over now.
I feel terrible for hurting you.
But Margaret and I are over now.
I understand if you hate my but Margaret and I are over now.
I understand if you hate my guts, but I hope you know that I I understand if you hate my guts, but I hope you know that I don't want to be with anybody guts, but I hope you know that I don't want to be with anybody but you.
Don't want to be with anybody but you.
Thanks for being but you.
Thanks for being honest, mordecai.
Thanks for being honest, mordecai.
I think we can give this one honest, mordecai.
I think we can give this one more shot.
I think we can give this one more shot.
More shot.