Beverly Hills, 90210 (1990) s06e12 Episode Script
Breast Side Up
I still wish you were coming to New York with me for the holiday.
Next time.
I've got a whole family waiting to meet you, you know.
Well, you weren't in any rush to introduce us last summer.
Yeah, well, a lot's happened since last summer.
Mmm All right, Keats, this is your last chance to blow off your family and stay here for a real Walsh Thanksgiving.
Brandon, you know I can't.
I mean, believe me, I wish I could, but I haven't seen my grandparents in over a year.
Yeah, but you're gonna miss out on my famous bourbon sweet potatoes.
Famous, huh? World-famous.
Hmm.
Since when do you cook? Since tomorrow.
So, tell me something.
How am I supposed to feel about the fact that you're spending Thanksgiving with Brandon? What are you talking about? You know what I'm talking about.
You're worried about Brandon now after all this time? It's not that weird.
I mean, I'm a little jealous, that's all.
And he gets to be with you, I don't.
Snap out of it.
- Snap out of it? - Mm-hmm.
Absolutely, okay? I've got to ask you something.
What? Is, um, Kelly gonna be around this weekend? Well, I think so.
She's coming over for Thanksgiving dinner.
Oh.
- Oh? - It's just that I wish she weren't, that's all.
Susan, how many times do I have to tell you, you got nothing to worry about.
So then why am I so worried? I don't know, have I ever given you reason to worry? Oh, so, what, now I'm paranoid? Well Mmm.
Feel any better? Yeah.
I'm really gonna miss you.
Me, too.
I cannot believe we waited till the last minute to do this.
Everyone waits till the last minute, don't they? Let's hope not otherwise, we'll be here forever.
Okay, the plan is, we meet at the checkout in half an hour.
You think we're gonna be done in 30 minutes? Absolutely.
It was sweet of you to invite me along, Valerie.
Of course! You're David's mother I couldn't let you spend Thanksgiving alone.
Well, don't forget, it won't be Thanksgiving without my Jell-O mold.
Yeah, it's in the shape of a turkey, with cranberries for eyes.
Hey, don't make fun of my mold.
You loved it when you were a kid.
Hey, it was always good for a laugh.
David! All right, everybody got their shopping lists? - Got it.
- Let's do it.
Register three now open, no waiting.
Attention shoppers, check out our fresh-baked pumpkin pies, just in time for the holiday.
We need a clean-up on aisle seven.
I need a price check on a 24-ounce bag of fresh cranberries.
What's that? A little bourbon for your bourbon sweet potatoes.
The recipe only calls for half a cup.
Yeah, but what's the sense of going to all that trouble if you're gonna have a sober soufflé, huh? He's right.
Sober soufflé.
Clare, everyone's almost done will you hurry up? Okay, help me decide what do you think, red or white? That's easy red for the dark meat and white for the white meat.
No, no, not for tonight for my father's cocktail party, remember? That's easy eggheads like to sip sherry.
They're not eggheads.
They're the senior faculty for the most prestigious university in this state.
Oh, boy, I don't know if I can stand the excitement, Clare.
Fine, then don't come.
It's not like I'm dying to introduce you to my father anyway.
Are you ashamed of me? Yeah.
Kidding.
Besides, you're the one making a big deal out of this, not me.
What if I brought my report card? I'm sure my father's already seen it.
Oh, Brandon, come here, come here.
Wouldn't this be nice on the table? Some irises, some lilies.
Sure.
That should about do it, huh? You know, you have a knack for that.
- What's that? - Making things pretty.
Thanks.
It's gonna be a great Thanksgiving, don't you think? You're feeling a little empty, aren't you? What do you mean, empty? You know what I'm talking about.
Behind all the big talk about this being our first Thanksgiving on our own, you miss your family, right? Yeah.
But you're here.
Yes, I am.
It'll be fun.
You'll see.
Thanks.
We better hurry up it's getting late.
I know, and I still have to go home and change first.
Hi.
So, we'll drop all this stuff off at your place.
And I'm sorry we can't hang out with you guys today.
Oh, I know.
You sure you don't want us to come along for moral support? No, it's just a deposition.
Oh, I forgot the chopped walnuts.
Oh, I'll get them.
Back in a sec.
He's hiding it well, but he's pretty upset.
He's got to be his entire football career - could be on the line.
- I know.
Look, you guys, do me a favor.
Promise me that after the deposition today, no one will mention Ray Pruit or the case the entire weekend.
You got it.
Okay.
Well, I better go rescue Joe.
He may know how to throw a football, but he knows nothing about chopped nuts.
I can't believe Ray is going through with this.
Well, I guess with some people you never know what's really going on inside them.
You don't even know the half of it.
Yeah, I do.
Valerie told me about Palm Springs.
Donna didn't want anybody to know what happened between them, and now it's all gonna come out in open court.
Well, we've just got one problem convincing Valerie to let us eat dinner in front of the television.
- Steve! - Aw, come on, Val, otherwise what good is it - not having my mother around? - You hear that? I, for one, can't digest my food without the Dallas Cowboys.
Listen, we are sitting at the dining room table and have a proper meal like civilized people.
- Right, Sheila? - Well, Valerie does have a point.
A woman after my very own heart.
Guys, I'm not with these two, really.
Well, don't set a place for me.
I'm gonna watch the game all the games.
That's my girl.
- Traitor.
- Guys, Nat just called pies are ready at the Pit.
- Who wants to pick 'em up? - I'll go.
- I'll come with you.
- Okay.
Well, what do you think of those two? I don't know, should I be thinking something? Well, they're good friends.
Yeah.
Who almost got engaged six months ago.
So, how's life, Brandon? What kind of question is that? You see me almost every day.
I know.
Are you still feeling weird about Dylan? Yeah, a little.
Maybe he'll send us a postcard someday.
He will when he's ready.
I have to ask you something.
And don't take this the wrong way.
If you don't want to talk about it, I'll understand, but Was Susan did she feel uncomfortable about you and me spending the holiday together? Um, 'cause Colin did, and I just told him that he was being paranoid, and that he didn't have anything to worry about.
Well, that's exactly what I told Susan.
- Good.
- Good.
David, can't you see I'm busy here? I'm just trying to organize everything.
Silver, you don't have to alphabetize all the canned goods.
Maybe I can just - offer a suggestion or two? - Sure.
Are you planning to cook breast-side-up or breast-side-down? I haven't really thought about it.
Well, most people roast breast-side-up, but that dries the bird out.
If you want the white meat especially tender, I recommend breast-side-down.
Well, I'll take that into consideration.
Uh, Mom, I think we can handle everything from here.
Oh, I'm sure you can.
I just wanted to help to get things started.
David, can I see you outside? I know, I know.
What do you want me to do? She's just trying to be helpful.
This is supposed to be our chance to make Thanksgiving together.
Friends.
No parents.
And now she's taking over.
Why don't you just let her help? It might make it a little easier.
I don't want it to be easy, I want to do it myself.
So, what do you want me to do? Just try and keep her out of my hair, okay? And stop alphabetizing - the canned goods.
- Okay.
Look, I just want you to know I really appreciate this.
It means a lot to her.
I know.
I'll try and be nice.
Even though you want to kill her, right? Sorry to interrupt, but where do you keep the mixing bowls? Top shelf.
Thanks.
What? Okay, you got it.
Hello! We got pies, we got apple, we got pumpkin, we got peach.
And Nat says to cook the turkey breast-side up.
Well, I planned to, but David's mother says breast-side down.
Can't we just shove her in the oven? I'm sorry, do I sense a little tension here? You know, I'm trying, Brandon, but it's not easy.
I mean, she actually made David go back to the store because she didn't like the brand of margarine I bought.
Hmm.
So, where's Sanders? He and Clare left for the faculty party.
She was practically dragging him.
I'll get it.
Hello? Oh, hey, Colin.
How's the big apple? Yeah, she's right here.
I'll, um I'll take it in the living room.
Hold on.
Well, it must be nice for you guys.
- What? - Well, being able to hang out again together without your new significant others looking over your shoulder.
You know, Val you have a dirty mind.
I didn't mean it like that.
Maybe you have the dirty mind.
Oh, I don't think so.
Hi, Bruce.
Hey, how're you two holding up? Well, I'm a little nervous.
Don't be.
Just answer the questions truthfully, we'll get you out of here before you know it.
Well, I don't understand how Joe can be in so much trouble when he was just protecting me.
I mean, is that against the law? You let me worry about the law, okay? You just tell them what happened on Halloween night.
And give yes or no answers.
If you can't remember the exact details about something, you just say, "I don't remember.
" Okay.
Hey, listen, after you're done here, why don't we go over to Brandon's? Valerie said they'd be cooking all night.
I can't, there's something I have to take care of.
What? It's a surprise.
But trust me, if it works out, you're gonna have the happy birthday after all.
Sounds good to me.
We're ready to go, Mr.
Paxton? Yes, ma'am.
Let's get this thing over with.
Have a seat here, Joe.
Before we begin, would you state your full name, please.
Donna Marie Martin.
Would you raise your right hand.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, - so help you God? - I do.
I just have a few questions, Ms.
Martin.
On the night of October 31, 1995, an argument took place at your home, correct? Yes.
And during that argument, did you see Mr.
Bradley strike Mr.
Pruit? Yes.
How many times? I don't remember.
More than once? Yes.
Did Mr.
Pruit strike Mr.
Bradley? No, but you don't understand.
Please, just answer the questions.
Did Mr.
Pruit strike Mr.
Bradley? No.
The next time you saw Mr.
Pruit was there any evidence of the altercation you witnessed? Yes.
And what was that? Ray's left arm was in a brace.
Thank you, Ms.
Martin.
That pretty much covers it.
Donna Don't talk to me.
Come on, Mr.
Pruit.
Save it for court.
Well, I'm glad to see not everyone's drinking sherry.
I actually see a beer bottle or two.
- Clare! - Dad, hi.
This is, uh, Steve Sanders.
- This is my dad.
- Nice to see you.
I'm hearing a lot about you, young man.
Oh, really? Don't believe everything Clare says.
Actually, not from Clare, from John Bardwell.
Isn't he your academic advisor? Yeah.
One of my very best friends.
He's here tonight.
- Excuse me, sweetheart.
- Good.
I'm outta here.
Steve, wait.
- What's wrong? - Are you kidding? Mr.
Bardwell's the guy who found out I cheated on my math placement tests.
He probably told your father everything.
Mr.
Sanders.
What a pleasant surprise.
Yes, it is.
- Hello, Clare.
- Hi.
How's the remedial math going? - Fine.
- Good, good.
What brings you to this gathering? Well, actually, Clare and I are dating.
Oh, that's right.
Arnold mentioned it.
Well, I guess opposites do attract.
Oh, excuse me, I see someone I must say hello to.
Bye.
Did you hear that? He practically insulted me right to my face.
He did not.
"Opposites attract"? What do you think that means? Why are you so down on yourself? Why shouldn't I be? I've been a classic underachiever my entire academic life.
You know, I may be a C student, but I'm no dummy and I'm sick of these people thinking that I am.
Who, who's calling you a dummy here? All these people.
You called these people eggheads this morning.
Why all of sudden do you care what they think of you? - I don't get it.
- You know what, I wouldn't expect you to understand, Clare.
They know you're a genius, okay? Why don't you go mingle with the high-brows.
I'll be right here.
Great.
Donna Martin.
I'm a friend of Steve Young's.
He's appearing on NFL Live tonight.
Sorry, Miss.
Nobody cleared you.
I can't let you in.
Well, could you call upstairs to Mr.
Young's agent? His name's Leigh Steinberg.
I know.
Look, I just really need to talk to him.
Well, I'm sorry, but the taping's over, Miss.
I'm sure Mr.
Steinberg and Mr.
Young have already left.
Great.
Oh, my God.
"Sports Agent.
" That's gotta be him.
What are you doing? Mr.
Steinberg, stop, please.
- What's the problem? - Are you Leigh Steinberg? - Steve Young's agent? - Yes.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Steinberg.
We'll have this under control in just a moment.
Look, Mr.
Steinberg, you don't know who I am, but I'm Donna Martin.
John Martin's daughter.
The heart surgeon, he did your father's bypass? - Right.
- Look, if I could just have one minute of your time, please? Come on, little lady, get back in your car.
It's all right.
Talk to me.
What's the problem? Okay.
Thank you.
Joe Bradley's my boyfriend, you might've heard of him.
The C.
U.
quarterback? Yes, that's him.
Anyway, tomorrow's Joe's birthday and nothing would make him happier than if Steve Young could come to the house.
Well, I mean, it's not his house, it's my friend's house, 'cause that's where we'll be.
You know, just to wish him happy birthday.
I mean, Steve Young is Joe's hero.
I mean he would just be so excited to meet him in person.
Look, Mr.
Steinberg, in the name of love and football, could you please help make my boyfriend's dreams come true, please? More.
You know, I take it back.
You never should have come.
You could've sat and eaten your pistachios at home.
Clare, I've got nothing to say to these people, and they have nothing to say to me.
Stop sitting here like such a wallflower, Sanders.
You haven't spoken to a soul all evening.
Let me introduce you to the faculty.
Oh, great.
Elmo, my dear, you may have won a Pulitzer, but the comparison is to Shakespearean comedy.
Wrong.
Helen, would you trust me? It's French farce.
Feydeau in his purest form.
Stop bickering, Pickering.
I want to introduce you to some friends of mine.
This is Clare Arnold, Steve Sanders.
Elmo Pickering and this is Helen Kincaid, esteemed professors of English literature.
Nice to meet you both.
Actually, I took your course, Professor Kincaid.
It was, it was great.
Then perhaps you can help settle this score.
In analyzing the roots of contemporary American television comedy, Professor Pickering cites Feydeau.
I say Shakespeare.
What do you think? Sorry, not my field.
Well, you know, my mom always used to say that her show reminded her of the works of Noel Coward.
A comedy of manners.
I don't mean to pry, but who is your mother? Samantha Sanders, maybe you've heard of her? Of course! The Hart/ey House.
One of my favorites.
Are you putting me on, Mr.
Bardwell? No, no, not at all.
Your mother is a comic genius.
You don't happen to have any old scripts lying around? Sure, every one of 'em.
Bound.
They're in my mom's library.
Well, do you think No, I couldn't ask.
Do you want to look at one of them? They're just collecting dust.
- I'd be honored.
- You know, I I hate to blow my own horn, but I contributed a lot of story ideas to that show.
You know, to give it youth appeal.
Steve, you were, like, ten years old.
Shut up.
Steve, what I would really love, is if you'd come to one of my seminars as a guest speaker.
You know, sort of an insider's view.
Well, yeah, I'm an insider.
I'd love to.
Well, how're we doing? Great, Dad.
The party is far less dull this year, Arnold.
Thanks to Mr.
Sanders.
Oh, please.
Really? Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to steal you away for a few minutes.
There's a grad student from Stanford I'd love to attract to your program.
Oh, okay.
Nice to meet you, Steve.
The pleasure was all mine.
Hey, don't forget, call my office.
I certainly will.
You know, Steve, I don't think you need to worry about your math grades too much.
You're going to do fine.
Oh, yeah, you think so? You have a way with people.
In other words, you're a good B.
S.
'er.
Mr.
Bardwell.
And sometimes that's more important than anything else.
I'm proud to be your advisor.
If you need anything, you come see me.
Thanks, thanks a lot.
What was that for? My favorite egghead.
Let's go find another Laureate.
Hey.
How did it go at the lawyer's? Terrible.
I think I just made things worse.
I do not want to talk about the case anymore.
I think I just may have saved Joe's birthday.
- What did you do? - Well, Steve Young may actually show up at Brandon's tomorrow afternoon.
Wow! But what if he doesn't? Do you have a Plan B? Yup.
And it's going to be part of Joe's birthday present even if I get Steve Young.
What is it? Well, I've decided to sleep with Joe.
- Donna.
- What? I'm almost 21 years old.
What am I waiting for? Especially since now I know my mom didn't give it a second thought.
Yeah, but this is your life, not your mom's.
Don't do anything you're going to regret.
Not doing it is what I regret.
Joe's a great guy.
I don't want to lose him.
Just make sure you don't lose everything you've always believed in.
Brandon! Brandon! What? - It's 9:00.
! - So? So why didn't you wake me? Why don't you relax?! How can I relax? The turkey will never be done in time! Sheila? Morning, honey.
Come over here.
Looks good, doesn't it? Breast-side down.
Yeah.
Yeah, I see.
You don't mind, do you? I came over at 7:00 this morning, and Brandon let me in.
You were still sound asleep.
And, after all your hard work, I didn't have the heart to wake you, so I thought I'd better get the turkey started.
- Oh.
- And I made the stuffing, I've shelled the peas, and the Jell-O mold is setting as we speak.
So is there anything left for me to do? Uh You can get dressed.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Oh.
What time are we eating this feast of yours? I figure the bird will be done just in time for the kickoff of the Dallas game.
You know, I thought I could pull this whole thing off myself.
I was a complete failure.
No, you weren't.
I just came along and organized things.
No.
You came over and saved the day.
Valerie, maybe cooking's not your thing, but, in case you haven't noticed, you make my son very happy.
You think so? I know so.
Morning.
Listen, Kel, I thought about what we talked about yesterday.
- And? - And are condoms really safe? Not as safe as not doing it.
What? So it's all right for you, but not for me? No.
How well do you really know Joe? Do you know that he's not sleeping with someone else? That's mean.
No.
I'm just saying that you barely know him.
You should give it a little time before you jump in the sack with him.
Oh! Morning.
Oh, good.
She's up.
Why don't you ask Clare for advice? She's just a wealth of information.
- What? - Safe sex, birth control.
You know.
The major questions of the '90s.
Isn't it a little early in the morning for this? - Definitely.
- You know what? Forget it.
Forget I brought the whole thing up.
You know what? How was your father's cocktail party last night? Hmm? Good.
Steve was a hit.
My father fell in love with him, and I think I did, too.
Is that possible? Sure.
Here we go.
Mmm! Gobble, gobble, gobble! Val, that looks incredible.
Well, I didn't do a thing.
We owe it all to your mother.
Except for Brandon's famous sweet potatoes.
Which none of you are having without me seeing some I.
D.
first, so cough 'em up, kids.
Listen, guys, I just want to apologize for yesterday.
You guys can eat turkey in the living room, and watch football all day long.
- That's my girl! - Cowboys! Hold on, big guy.
Aren't you forgetting about something? Yeah.
Beer's in the fridge.
No.
I've got a beer.
It's Thanksgiving.
Shouldn't someone say grace? All righty, then.
I'll say it.
Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.
Yay, God! - Dig in.
- Steve.
Steve, I don't think that's exactly what Joe had in mind.
Joe, you want to give it a shot? Thanks.
Thank you, God, for your bountiful blessings, and for our warm beds at night, for the secure roof over our heads, for our loving friends, and to our nurturing families.
Whatever the path you've chosen for us, help us to be sure-footed upon it.
Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
That was beautiful.
Thanks.
My dad used to say that before every meal.
Oh, we forgot something.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday! Thank you very much.
Okay, let's eat.
Oh, guys, don't forget, Nat's expecting us all over at the Peach Pit for the homeless thing.
If I'm doing dishes over there, I'm not doing dishes over here.
You didn't tell me about this.
What? About feeding the homeless.
Well, we do it every year.
It's kind of a tradition.
Oh.
I see.
Ma, you don't have to go if it's going to make you uncomfortable.
No.
I want to.
If it wasn't for you, I'd still be one of them.
Yeah.
Well, you've come a long way since then.
I know.
And I'm eternally grateful.
What time is Steve Young supposed to show up? His, uh his agent said about 1:00.
It's almost 2:00.
Yeah.
I know.
Oh.
I'll get it.
Where are those potatoes, Brandon? Hello.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Oh, hi, Susan.
Yeah, he's right here.
Hold on.
Kelly, you've got to try some of my sweet potatoes.
Oh, I'm getting drunk just smelling them.
Uh Brandon? - Yeah? - It's Susan.
Uh Tell her I'll take it upstairs.
He'll be right there.
I'm going to put you on hold, okay? You okay? Why wouldn't I be? I was just trying to be nice.
Do me a favor.
Don't try so hard.
On replay, you can see why Emmett Smith picked up that first down.
He's got Moose Johnson and Big Nate Newton clearing Oh, the game is on! What is it about turkey that makes you so tired? Technically, it's the tryptophan.
It's a natural relaxer.
I'm going to overload on it, then.
Listen, I hate to not eat and run but, if I ever expect to get back into that starting lineup, I better make an appearance at the team dinner tonight.
No.
Can't you wait another half hour? I'll come back.
Promise.
It'll be too late.
Too late for what? What's going on? Nothing.
Just some lame idea I had for your birthday that didn't work out.
Don't worry.
It's the thought that counts.
I can tell by your face that it must have been a great thought.
Come on.
It's just that I'm a Christmas baby, so I know how lousy it can be to have your birthday on a holiday.
I just thought you deserved something special.
I've already got something special.
I've got you.
Excuse me.
Anyone here - named Joe Bradley? - That's me.
Joe, heads up.
This is for you.
Oh, my God! Steve Young! Last time I checked.
Happy birthday, Joe.
How did you know it was my birthday? Some crazy woman named Donna Martin jumped in front of my agent's car, and here I am.
How did you do this? Oh, it's a long story.
You know, Joe, quarterbacks have to stick together.
Oh! You guys, get out here! Steve Young's here! Oh, man! Nice catch.
Oh, this is what I call a great pickup game.
It's the fourth quarter, last play of the game.
Young's on the 20.
Let's get ready to rumble! Hut, hut! Touchdown! Perfect.
I can't believe you caught that! Wish I could thread the needle like that.
Aw, Joe, keep working on it.
You'll get it.
Steve, I can't thank you enough.
You've made this such a special day.
It was my pleasure to come.
Here.
Whoa! Nice ring.
Yeah, I got that out of a cereal box.
What do you think? Listen, Steve, take 'em all the way this year, huh? Yeah, hopefully.
That's the idea.
Keep it going.
Hey, thanks.
It's been a lot of fun.
I've got to get back to the airport, but it was nice meeting you all.
- Thanks a lot.
- You're the king.
Hey, Joe, can I see you for a second? Sure.
Hey, I heard about you getting benched last week, and I read about your legal trouble that you've been in.
Yeah, I might get axed from the team.
Listen, you're a good kid, and you should never give up, but, you know, guys like you and I, we eat, drink and sleep football and, sooner or later, it comes to an end, and you never know when that's going to be, so take this opportunity maybe to figure out what you're going to do for the rest of your life.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
You bet.
Hey, it's been fun.
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks a lot.
Hey, we'll see you in the Hall of Fame.
You are amazing.
You know that? Yeah, I know.
You know, I wish I could say that after all these years of doing this, that there were fewer people that need it, but we had a bigger turnout this Thanksgiving than ever.
You're a good man, Nat.
- Hey, I'll take this.
- Thanks.
I am so stuffed.
I don't want to see another turkey until Christmas.
Hi, guys.
Listen, I've made up my mind.
I'm going to go through with it.
Tonight.
Donna, that's a big decision, but if you're really sure, I'm happy for you.
I am sure.
I mean, Joe is such a wonderful guy, don't you think? Yeah.
I got to know him a lot better today.
And I changed my mind.
I think he's a good guy.
Thanks.
I'm kind of nervous though.
Everybody is.
But it's gonna be a wonderful thing, you'll see.
Especially between two people like you and Joe.
Yeah.
Hey, Kel.
Looks like the party's almost over.
What're you gonna do? Oh, I don't really feel like going home.
Well, where do you want to go? I don't know, we could go someplace quiet and hang out.
Well, it just so happens I have the house to myself tonight.
There's a horror marathon on TV.
What do you say? Perfect.
I'll follow you.
Thanks for everything today.
I know my mom drove you nuts, but you really made her day.
Well, if it wasn't for her, we would have been eating Chinese food.
Turn off the light.
What, are you actually planning on staying here tonight? It's okay, isn't it? What, are you kidding? Well, good, because I'm too exhausted to drive home.
I thought you said my bed was lumpy.
Well, it is, but I'll manage.
Besides, I think Brandon wants to have the house to himself tonight.
Why? Well, I think he wants to spend some time alone.
You know, these past couple days we've had a house full of people.
Or, maybe he doesn't plan on spending the night alone.
What? Oh, come on, Brandon and Kelly have been circling each other since Colin and Susan left for New York.
Well, I haven't noticed.
I've been too busy worrying about turkey and trimmings.
Do you think everybody had fun today? What, are you kidding, this was the best Thanksgiving yet.
Good.
'Cause you guys are my family now, and I wanted my family to have a good holiday.
Well, you definitely pulled it off.
Thanks.
You know, one more thing, and this will be the perfect Thanksgiving.
What would that be? Make love to me? There's nothing else I'd rather do.
I cannot believe you're eating more turkey after what we finished today.
It's a Walsh tradition.
Turkey sandwiches at 11:00 on Thanksgiving night.
And turkey soup for a week.
Whatever.
Hey, bring it into the living room.
Let's watch that movie.
Kel, um whatever happened between us? That's a hard question.
I guess we should just chalk it up to bad timing, huh? Beyond that, it just gets too complicated.
It was more than that.
I knew that if I made a choice between you and Dylan, it would've ruined your friendship.
So you did the honorable thing.
Yep, but now Dylan's gone.
I noticed.
And I have Colin.
And I have Susan.
And they have feelings, too.
So, I guess that means that we're both going to do the honorable thing, huh? Would you have it any other way? No.
Come on.
The Bride of Frankenstein awaits.
You know, if we stay up late watching a movie, I'm not going to feel much like driving home.
So can I crash here? That's going to make it a little more difficult to do the honorable thing.
I'll sleep in Steve's room.
You better lock the door.
I'll take that as a compliment.
You should.
I've had the most amazing few days.
I caught a pass from Steve Young.
Hello! I traded quips with Nobel prize winners.
Maybe I'm doing something right.
You do a lot of things right.
- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.
Maybe it's time I started demonstrating my finer things.
Wait a second, I want to give you something.
What? And how many shots will it take to get rid of it? Put your hand out.
Okay, now this is something that's very important to me, okay? But I want you to have it.
What is this? Clare, you're not in a sorority.
It's not for a sorority.
It's my Phi Beta Kappa Key.
Honor society.
I want you to have it.
Well, I feel like that scarecrow getting a diploma.
Usually I feel like the flying monkey, but today I guess I get a brain, huh? You have a brain.
And now you have the key to prove it.
Thanks, Clare.
You earned it.
You really believe in me? Yeah, I do.
This was definitely the best birthday I've ever had.
Thank you.
Yeah, well, it's not over yet.
Joe, I want to be with you tonight.
Wait a minute.
What? I knew that I liked you a lot, Donna.
But after today, after all you've done for me I now know that I'm crazy about you.
Good.
'Cause I'm crazy about you, too.
And that's why I have to say this, before we get any closer, before this goes too far.
What? What's the matter? I haven't felt this way about someone in a a long time.
Maybe ever.
So why is that a problem? Because, Donna, I, um Look Joe, whatever it is I'll understand.
All right.
Then, I'll just come right out with it.
Donna, I don't believe in premarital sex.
What? I know that sounds incredibly square.
And, uh, you know, if that's too much for you to handle then, then I totally understand.
Wait, let me get this straight, you have no sexual history? None to speak of.
You're not gonna believe this.
What? Me either.
Me either, what? Me either that I don't have any sexual history.
I don't believe in premarital sex.
But you just said I know, and I meant it.
I guess part of me just thought that I might lose you if I didn't sleep with you.
Donna, that is the most wonderful thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hi.
Good morning.
I didn't know you were up.
I've been up for hours.
- I'm going to get the paper.
- Already got it.
And I have coffee.
Well, I hope it's strong.
I have two days to finish all the work I've been putting off all weekend.
So when's Colin getting back? Sunday.
How about Susan? Same.
You know, sometimes I really hate being such a good guy.
Well, this shouldn't be one of those times.
We did the right thing, Brandon.
Yeah, I know.
What was that for? Nothing.
Just for being you, that's all.
That's nice.
Next time.
I've got a whole family waiting to meet you, you know.
Well, you weren't in any rush to introduce us last summer.
Yeah, well, a lot's happened since last summer.
Mmm All right, Keats, this is your last chance to blow off your family and stay here for a real Walsh Thanksgiving.
Brandon, you know I can't.
I mean, believe me, I wish I could, but I haven't seen my grandparents in over a year.
Yeah, but you're gonna miss out on my famous bourbon sweet potatoes.
Famous, huh? World-famous.
Hmm.
Since when do you cook? Since tomorrow.
So, tell me something.
How am I supposed to feel about the fact that you're spending Thanksgiving with Brandon? What are you talking about? You know what I'm talking about.
You're worried about Brandon now after all this time? It's not that weird.
I mean, I'm a little jealous, that's all.
And he gets to be with you, I don't.
Snap out of it.
- Snap out of it? - Mm-hmm.
Absolutely, okay? I've got to ask you something.
What? Is, um, Kelly gonna be around this weekend? Well, I think so.
She's coming over for Thanksgiving dinner.
Oh.
- Oh? - It's just that I wish she weren't, that's all.
Susan, how many times do I have to tell you, you got nothing to worry about.
So then why am I so worried? I don't know, have I ever given you reason to worry? Oh, so, what, now I'm paranoid? Well Mmm.
Feel any better? Yeah.
I'm really gonna miss you.
Me, too.
I cannot believe we waited till the last minute to do this.
Everyone waits till the last minute, don't they? Let's hope not otherwise, we'll be here forever.
Okay, the plan is, we meet at the checkout in half an hour.
You think we're gonna be done in 30 minutes? Absolutely.
It was sweet of you to invite me along, Valerie.
Of course! You're David's mother I couldn't let you spend Thanksgiving alone.
Well, don't forget, it won't be Thanksgiving without my Jell-O mold.
Yeah, it's in the shape of a turkey, with cranberries for eyes.
Hey, don't make fun of my mold.
You loved it when you were a kid.
Hey, it was always good for a laugh.
David! All right, everybody got their shopping lists? - Got it.
- Let's do it.
Register three now open, no waiting.
Attention shoppers, check out our fresh-baked pumpkin pies, just in time for the holiday.
We need a clean-up on aisle seven.
I need a price check on a 24-ounce bag of fresh cranberries.
What's that? A little bourbon for your bourbon sweet potatoes.
The recipe only calls for half a cup.
Yeah, but what's the sense of going to all that trouble if you're gonna have a sober soufflé, huh? He's right.
Sober soufflé.
Clare, everyone's almost done will you hurry up? Okay, help me decide what do you think, red or white? That's easy red for the dark meat and white for the white meat.
No, no, not for tonight for my father's cocktail party, remember? That's easy eggheads like to sip sherry.
They're not eggheads.
They're the senior faculty for the most prestigious university in this state.
Oh, boy, I don't know if I can stand the excitement, Clare.
Fine, then don't come.
It's not like I'm dying to introduce you to my father anyway.
Are you ashamed of me? Yeah.
Kidding.
Besides, you're the one making a big deal out of this, not me.
What if I brought my report card? I'm sure my father's already seen it.
Oh, Brandon, come here, come here.
Wouldn't this be nice on the table? Some irises, some lilies.
Sure.
That should about do it, huh? You know, you have a knack for that.
- What's that? - Making things pretty.
Thanks.
It's gonna be a great Thanksgiving, don't you think? You're feeling a little empty, aren't you? What do you mean, empty? You know what I'm talking about.
Behind all the big talk about this being our first Thanksgiving on our own, you miss your family, right? Yeah.
But you're here.
Yes, I am.
It'll be fun.
You'll see.
Thanks.
We better hurry up it's getting late.
I know, and I still have to go home and change first.
Hi.
So, we'll drop all this stuff off at your place.
And I'm sorry we can't hang out with you guys today.
Oh, I know.
You sure you don't want us to come along for moral support? No, it's just a deposition.
Oh, I forgot the chopped walnuts.
Oh, I'll get them.
Back in a sec.
He's hiding it well, but he's pretty upset.
He's got to be his entire football career - could be on the line.
- I know.
Look, you guys, do me a favor.
Promise me that after the deposition today, no one will mention Ray Pruit or the case the entire weekend.
You got it.
Okay.
Well, I better go rescue Joe.
He may know how to throw a football, but he knows nothing about chopped nuts.
I can't believe Ray is going through with this.
Well, I guess with some people you never know what's really going on inside them.
You don't even know the half of it.
Yeah, I do.
Valerie told me about Palm Springs.
Donna didn't want anybody to know what happened between them, and now it's all gonna come out in open court.
Well, we've just got one problem convincing Valerie to let us eat dinner in front of the television.
- Steve! - Aw, come on, Val, otherwise what good is it - not having my mother around? - You hear that? I, for one, can't digest my food without the Dallas Cowboys.
Listen, we are sitting at the dining room table and have a proper meal like civilized people.
- Right, Sheila? - Well, Valerie does have a point.
A woman after my very own heart.
Guys, I'm not with these two, really.
Well, don't set a place for me.
I'm gonna watch the game all the games.
That's my girl.
- Traitor.
- Guys, Nat just called pies are ready at the Pit.
- Who wants to pick 'em up? - I'll go.
- I'll come with you.
- Okay.
Well, what do you think of those two? I don't know, should I be thinking something? Well, they're good friends.
Yeah.
Who almost got engaged six months ago.
So, how's life, Brandon? What kind of question is that? You see me almost every day.
I know.
Are you still feeling weird about Dylan? Yeah, a little.
Maybe he'll send us a postcard someday.
He will when he's ready.
I have to ask you something.
And don't take this the wrong way.
If you don't want to talk about it, I'll understand, but Was Susan did she feel uncomfortable about you and me spending the holiday together? Um, 'cause Colin did, and I just told him that he was being paranoid, and that he didn't have anything to worry about.
Well, that's exactly what I told Susan.
- Good.
- Good.
David, can't you see I'm busy here? I'm just trying to organize everything.
Silver, you don't have to alphabetize all the canned goods.
Maybe I can just - offer a suggestion or two? - Sure.
Are you planning to cook breast-side-up or breast-side-down? I haven't really thought about it.
Well, most people roast breast-side-up, but that dries the bird out.
If you want the white meat especially tender, I recommend breast-side-down.
Well, I'll take that into consideration.
Uh, Mom, I think we can handle everything from here.
Oh, I'm sure you can.
I just wanted to help to get things started.
David, can I see you outside? I know, I know.
What do you want me to do? She's just trying to be helpful.
This is supposed to be our chance to make Thanksgiving together.
Friends.
No parents.
And now she's taking over.
Why don't you just let her help? It might make it a little easier.
I don't want it to be easy, I want to do it myself.
So, what do you want me to do? Just try and keep her out of my hair, okay? And stop alphabetizing - the canned goods.
- Okay.
Look, I just want you to know I really appreciate this.
It means a lot to her.
I know.
I'll try and be nice.
Even though you want to kill her, right? Sorry to interrupt, but where do you keep the mixing bowls? Top shelf.
Thanks.
What? Okay, you got it.
Hello! We got pies, we got apple, we got pumpkin, we got peach.
And Nat says to cook the turkey breast-side up.
Well, I planned to, but David's mother says breast-side down.
Can't we just shove her in the oven? I'm sorry, do I sense a little tension here? You know, I'm trying, Brandon, but it's not easy.
I mean, she actually made David go back to the store because she didn't like the brand of margarine I bought.
Hmm.
So, where's Sanders? He and Clare left for the faculty party.
She was practically dragging him.
I'll get it.
Hello? Oh, hey, Colin.
How's the big apple? Yeah, she's right here.
I'll, um I'll take it in the living room.
Hold on.
Well, it must be nice for you guys.
- What? - Well, being able to hang out again together without your new significant others looking over your shoulder.
You know, Val you have a dirty mind.
I didn't mean it like that.
Maybe you have the dirty mind.
Oh, I don't think so.
Hi, Bruce.
Hey, how're you two holding up? Well, I'm a little nervous.
Don't be.
Just answer the questions truthfully, we'll get you out of here before you know it.
Well, I don't understand how Joe can be in so much trouble when he was just protecting me.
I mean, is that against the law? You let me worry about the law, okay? You just tell them what happened on Halloween night.
And give yes or no answers.
If you can't remember the exact details about something, you just say, "I don't remember.
" Okay.
Hey, listen, after you're done here, why don't we go over to Brandon's? Valerie said they'd be cooking all night.
I can't, there's something I have to take care of.
What? It's a surprise.
But trust me, if it works out, you're gonna have the happy birthday after all.
Sounds good to me.
We're ready to go, Mr.
Paxton? Yes, ma'am.
Let's get this thing over with.
Have a seat here, Joe.
Before we begin, would you state your full name, please.
Donna Marie Martin.
Would you raise your right hand.
Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, - so help you God? - I do.
I just have a few questions, Ms.
Martin.
On the night of October 31, 1995, an argument took place at your home, correct? Yes.
And during that argument, did you see Mr.
Bradley strike Mr.
Pruit? Yes.
How many times? I don't remember.
More than once? Yes.
Did Mr.
Pruit strike Mr.
Bradley? No, but you don't understand.
Please, just answer the questions.
Did Mr.
Pruit strike Mr.
Bradley? No.
The next time you saw Mr.
Pruit was there any evidence of the altercation you witnessed? Yes.
And what was that? Ray's left arm was in a brace.
Thank you, Ms.
Martin.
That pretty much covers it.
Donna Don't talk to me.
Come on, Mr.
Pruit.
Save it for court.
Well, I'm glad to see not everyone's drinking sherry.
I actually see a beer bottle or two.
- Clare! - Dad, hi.
This is, uh, Steve Sanders.
- This is my dad.
- Nice to see you.
I'm hearing a lot about you, young man.
Oh, really? Don't believe everything Clare says.
Actually, not from Clare, from John Bardwell.
Isn't he your academic advisor? Yeah.
One of my very best friends.
He's here tonight.
- Excuse me, sweetheart.
- Good.
I'm outta here.
Steve, wait.
- What's wrong? - Are you kidding? Mr.
Bardwell's the guy who found out I cheated on my math placement tests.
He probably told your father everything.
Mr.
Sanders.
What a pleasant surprise.
Yes, it is.
- Hello, Clare.
- Hi.
How's the remedial math going? - Fine.
- Good, good.
What brings you to this gathering? Well, actually, Clare and I are dating.
Oh, that's right.
Arnold mentioned it.
Well, I guess opposites do attract.
Oh, excuse me, I see someone I must say hello to.
Bye.
Did you hear that? He practically insulted me right to my face.
He did not.
"Opposites attract"? What do you think that means? Why are you so down on yourself? Why shouldn't I be? I've been a classic underachiever my entire academic life.
You know, I may be a C student, but I'm no dummy and I'm sick of these people thinking that I am.
Who, who's calling you a dummy here? All these people.
You called these people eggheads this morning.
Why all of sudden do you care what they think of you? - I don't get it.
- You know what, I wouldn't expect you to understand, Clare.
They know you're a genius, okay? Why don't you go mingle with the high-brows.
I'll be right here.
Great.
Donna Martin.
I'm a friend of Steve Young's.
He's appearing on NFL Live tonight.
Sorry, Miss.
Nobody cleared you.
I can't let you in.
Well, could you call upstairs to Mr.
Young's agent? His name's Leigh Steinberg.
I know.
Look, I just really need to talk to him.
Well, I'm sorry, but the taping's over, Miss.
I'm sure Mr.
Steinberg and Mr.
Young have already left.
Great.
Oh, my God.
"Sports Agent.
" That's gotta be him.
What are you doing? Mr.
Steinberg, stop, please.
- What's the problem? - Are you Leigh Steinberg? - Steve Young's agent? - Yes.
I'm sorry, Mr.
Steinberg.
We'll have this under control in just a moment.
Look, Mr.
Steinberg, you don't know who I am, but I'm Donna Martin.
John Martin's daughter.
The heart surgeon, he did your father's bypass? - Right.
- Look, if I could just have one minute of your time, please? Come on, little lady, get back in your car.
It's all right.
Talk to me.
What's the problem? Okay.
Thank you.
Joe Bradley's my boyfriend, you might've heard of him.
The C.
U.
quarterback? Yes, that's him.
Anyway, tomorrow's Joe's birthday and nothing would make him happier than if Steve Young could come to the house.
Well, I mean, it's not his house, it's my friend's house, 'cause that's where we'll be.
You know, just to wish him happy birthday.
I mean, Steve Young is Joe's hero.
I mean he would just be so excited to meet him in person.
Look, Mr.
Steinberg, in the name of love and football, could you please help make my boyfriend's dreams come true, please? More.
You know, I take it back.
You never should have come.
You could've sat and eaten your pistachios at home.
Clare, I've got nothing to say to these people, and they have nothing to say to me.
Stop sitting here like such a wallflower, Sanders.
You haven't spoken to a soul all evening.
Let me introduce you to the faculty.
Oh, great.
Elmo, my dear, you may have won a Pulitzer, but the comparison is to Shakespearean comedy.
Wrong.
Helen, would you trust me? It's French farce.
Feydeau in his purest form.
Stop bickering, Pickering.
I want to introduce you to some friends of mine.
This is Clare Arnold, Steve Sanders.
Elmo Pickering and this is Helen Kincaid, esteemed professors of English literature.
Nice to meet you both.
Actually, I took your course, Professor Kincaid.
It was, it was great.
Then perhaps you can help settle this score.
In analyzing the roots of contemporary American television comedy, Professor Pickering cites Feydeau.
I say Shakespeare.
What do you think? Sorry, not my field.
Well, you know, my mom always used to say that her show reminded her of the works of Noel Coward.
A comedy of manners.
I don't mean to pry, but who is your mother? Samantha Sanders, maybe you've heard of her? Of course! The Hart/ey House.
One of my favorites.
Are you putting me on, Mr.
Bardwell? No, no, not at all.
Your mother is a comic genius.
You don't happen to have any old scripts lying around? Sure, every one of 'em.
Bound.
They're in my mom's library.
Well, do you think No, I couldn't ask.
Do you want to look at one of them? They're just collecting dust.
- I'd be honored.
- You know, I I hate to blow my own horn, but I contributed a lot of story ideas to that show.
You know, to give it youth appeal.
Steve, you were, like, ten years old.
Shut up.
Steve, what I would really love, is if you'd come to one of my seminars as a guest speaker.
You know, sort of an insider's view.
Well, yeah, I'm an insider.
I'd love to.
Well, how're we doing? Great, Dad.
The party is far less dull this year, Arnold.
Thanks to Mr.
Sanders.
Oh, please.
Really? Well, if you don't mind, I'd like to steal you away for a few minutes.
There's a grad student from Stanford I'd love to attract to your program.
Oh, okay.
Nice to meet you, Steve.
The pleasure was all mine.
Hey, don't forget, call my office.
I certainly will.
You know, Steve, I don't think you need to worry about your math grades too much.
You're going to do fine.
Oh, yeah, you think so? You have a way with people.
In other words, you're a good B.
S.
'er.
Mr.
Bardwell.
And sometimes that's more important than anything else.
I'm proud to be your advisor.
If you need anything, you come see me.
Thanks, thanks a lot.
What was that for? My favorite egghead.
Let's go find another Laureate.
Hey.
How did it go at the lawyer's? Terrible.
I think I just made things worse.
I do not want to talk about the case anymore.
I think I just may have saved Joe's birthday.
- What did you do? - Well, Steve Young may actually show up at Brandon's tomorrow afternoon.
Wow! But what if he doesn't? Do you have a Plan B? Yup.
And it's going to be part of Joe's birthday present even if I get Steve Young.
What is it? Well, I've decided to sleep with Joe.
- Donna.
- What? I'm almost 21 years old.
What am I waiting for? Especially since now I know my mom didn't give it a second thought.
Yeah, but this is your life, not your mom's.
Don't do anything you're going to regret.
Not doing it is what I regret.
Joe's a great guy.
I don't want to lose him.
Just make sure you don't lose everything you've always believed in.
Brandon! Brandon! What? - It's 9:00.
! - So? So why didn't you wake me? Why don't you relax?! How can I relax? The turkey will never be done in time! Sheila? Morning, honey.
Come over here.
Looks good, doesn't it? Breast-side down.
Yeah.
Yeah, I see.
You don't mind, do you? I came over at 7:00 this morning, and Brandon let me in.
You were still sound asleep.
And, after all your hard work, I didn't have the heart to wake you, so I thought I'd better get the turkey started.
- Oh.
- And I made the stuffing, I've shelled the peas, and the Jell-O mold is setting as we speak.
So is there anything left for me to do? Uh You can get dressed.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Oh.
What time are we eating this feast of yours? I figure the bird will be done just in time for the kickoff of the Dallas game.
You know, I thought I could pull this whole thing off myself.
I was a complete failure.
No, you weren't.
I just came along and organized things.
No.
You came over and saved the day.
Valerie, maybe cooking's not your thing, but, in case you haven't noticed, you make my son very happy.
You think so? I know so.
Morning.
Listen, Kel, I thought about what we talked about yesterday.
- And? - And are condoms really safe? Not as safe as not doing it.
What? So it's all right for you, but not for me? No.
How well do you really know Joe? Do you know that he's not sleeping with someone else? That's mean.
No.
I'm just saying that you barely know him.
You should give it a little time before you jump in the sack with him.
Oh! Morning.
Oh, good.
She's up.
Why don't you ask Clare for advice? She's just a wealth of information.
- What? - Safe sex, birth control.
You know.
The major questions of the '90s.
Isn't it a little early in the morning for this? - Definitely.
- You know what? Forget it.
Forget I brought the whole thing up.
You know what? How was your father's cocktail party last night? Hmm? Good.
Steve was a hit.
My father fell in love with him, and I think I did, too.
Is that possible? Sure.
Here we go.
Mmm! Gobble, gobble, gobble! Val, that looks incredible.
Well, I didn't do a thing.
We owe it all to your mother.
Except for Brandon's famous sweet potatoes.
Which none of you are having without me seeing some I.
D.
first, so cough 'em up, kids.
Listen, guys, I just want to apologize for yesterday.
You guys can eat turkey in the living room, and watch football all day long.
- That's my girl! - Cowboys! Hold on, big guy.
Aren't you forgetting about something? Yeah.
Beer's in the fridge.
No.
I've got a beer.
It's Thanksgiving.
Shouldn't someone say grace? All righty, then.
I'll say it.
Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub.
Yay, God! - Dig in.
- Steve.
Steve, I don't think that's exactly what Joe had in mind.
Joe, you want to give it a shot? Thanks.
Thank you, God, for your bountiful blessings, and for our warm beds at night, for the secure roof over our heads, for our loving friends, and to our nurturing families.
Whatever the path you've chosen for us, help us to be sure-footed upon it.
Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
- Amen.
That was beautiful.
Thanks.
My dad used to say that before every meal.
Oh, we forgot something.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday! Thank you very much.
Okay, let's eat.
Oh, guys, don't forget, Nat's expecting us all over at the Peach Pit for the homeless thing.
If I'm doing dishes over there, I'm not doing dishes over here.
You didn't tell me about this.
What? About feeding the homeless.
Well, we do it every year.
It's kind of a tradition.
Oh.
I see.
Ma, you don't have to go if it's going to make you uncomfortable.
No.
I want to.
If it wasn't for you, I'd still be one of them.
Yeah.
Well, you've come a long way since then.
I know.
And I'm eternally grateful.
What time is Steve Young supposed to show up? His, uh his agent said about 1:00.
It's almost 2:00.
Yeah.
I know.
Oh.
I'll get it.
Where are those potatoes, Brandon? Hello.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Oh, hi, Susan.
Yeah, he's right here.
Hold on.
Kelly, you've got to try some of my sweet potatoes.
Oh, I'm getting drunk just smelling them.
Uh Brandon? - Yeah? - It's Susan.
Uh Tell her I'll take it upstairs.
He'll be right there.
I'm going to put you on hold, okay? You okay? Why wouldn't I be? I was just trying to be nice.
Do me a favor.
Don't try so hard.
On replay, you can see why Emmett Smith picked up that first down.
He's got Moose Johnson and Big Nate Newton clearing Oh, the game is on! What is it about turkey that makes you so tired? Technically, it's the tryptophan.
It's a natural relaxer.
I'm going to overload on it, then.
Listen, I hate to not eat and run but, if I ever expect to get back into that starting lineup, I better make an appearance at the team dinner tonight.
No.
Can't you wait another half hour? I'll come back.
Promise.
It'll be too late.
Too late for what? What's going on? Nothing.
Just some lame idea I had for your birthday that didn't work out.
Don't worry.
It's the thought that counts.
I can tell by your face that it must have been a great thought.
Come on.
It's just that I'm a Christmas baby, so I know how lousy it can be to have your birthday on a holiday.
I just thought you deserved something special.
I've already got something special.
I've got you.
Excuse me.
Anyone here - named Joe Bradley? - That's me.
Joe, heads up.
This is for you.
Oh, my God! Steve Young! Last time I checked.
Happy birthday, Joe.
How did you know it was my birthday? Some crazy woman named Donna Martin jumped in front of my agent's car, and here I am.
How did you do this? Oh, it's a long story.
You know, Joe, quarterbacks have to stick together.
Oh! You guys, get out here! Steve Young's here! Oh, man! Nice catch.
Oh, this is what I call a great pickup game.
It's the fourth quarter, last play of the game.
Young's on the 20.
Let's get ready to rumble! Hut, hut! Touchdown! Perfect.
I can't believe you caught that! Wish I could thread the needle like that.
Aw, Joe, keep working on it.
You'll get it.
Steve, I can't thank you enough.
You've made this such a special day.
It was my pleasure to come.
Here.
Whoa! Nice ring.
Yeah, I got that out of a cereal box.
What do you think? Listen, Steve, take 'em all the way this year, huh? Yeah, hopefully.
That's the idea.
Keep it going.
Hey, thanks.
It's been a lot of fun.
I've got to get back to the airport, but it was nice meeting you all.
- Thanks a lot.
- You're the king.
Hey, Joe, can I see you for a second? Sure.
Hey, I heard about you getting benched last week, and I read about your legal trouble that you've been in.
Yeah, I might get axed from the team.
Listen, you're a good kid, and you should never give up, but, you know, guys like you and I, we eat, drink and sleep football and, sooner or later, it comes to an end, and you never know when that's going to be, so take this opportunity maybe to figure out what you're going to do for the rest of your life.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
You bet.
Hey, it's been fun.
- Happy birthday.
- Thanks a lot.
Hey, we'll see you in the Hall of Fame.
You are amazing.
You know that? Yeah, I know.
You know, I wish I could say that after all these years of doing this, that there were fewer people that need it, but we had a bigger turnout this Thanksgiving than ever.
You're a good man, Nat.
- Hey, I'll take this.
- Thanks.
I am so stuffed.
I don't want to see another turkey until Christmas.
Hi, guys.
Listen, I've made up my mind.
I'm going to go through with it.
Tonight.
Donna, that's a big decision, but if you're really sure, I'm happy for you.
I am sure.
I mean, Joe is such a wonderful guy, don't you think? Yeah.
I got to know him a lot better today.
And I changed my mind.
I think he's a good guy.
Thanks.
I'm kind of nervous though.
Everybody is.
But it's gonna be a wonderful thing, you'll see.
Especially between two people like you and Joe.
Yeah.
Hey, Kel.
Looks like the party's almost over.
What're you gonna do? Oh, I don't really feel like going home.
Well, where do you want to go? I don't know, we could go someplace quiet and hang out.
Well, it just so happens I have the house to myself tonight.
There's a horror marathon on TV.
What do you say? Perfect.
I'll follow you.
Thanks for everything today.
I know my mom drove you nuts, but you really made her day.
Well, if it wasn't for her, we would have been eating Chinese food.
Turn off the light.
What, are you actually planning on staying here tonight? It's okay, isn't it? What, are you kidding? Well, good, because I'm too exhausted to drive home.
I thought you said my bed was lumpy.
Well, it is, but I'll manage.
Besides, I think Brandon wants to have the house to himself tonight.
Why? Well, I think he wants to spend some time alone.
You know, these past couple days we've had a house full of people.
Or, maybe he doesn't plan on spending the night alone.
What? Oh, come on, Brandon and Kelly have been circling each other since Colin and Susan left for New York.
Well, I haven't noticed.
I've been too busy worrying about turkey and trimmings.
Do you think everybody had fun today? What, are you kidding, this was the best Thanksgiving yet.
Good.
'Cause you guys are my family now, and I wanted my family to have a good holiday.
Well, you definitely pulled it off.
Thanks.
You know, one more thing, and this will be the perfect Thanksgiving.
What would that be? Make love to me? There's nothing else I'd rather do.
I cannot believe you're eating more turkey after what we finished today.
It's a Walsh tradition.
Turkey sandwiches at 11:00 on Thanksgiving night.
And turkey soup for a week.
Whatever.
Hey, bring it into the living room.
Let's watch that movie.
Kel, um whatever happened between us? That's a hard question.
I guess we should just chalk it up to bad timing, huh? Beyond that, it just gets too complicated.
It was more than that.
I knew that if I made a choice between you and Dylan, it would've ruined your friendship.
So you did the honorable thing.
Yep, but now Dylan's gone.
I noticed.
And I have Colin.
And I have Susan.
And they have feelings, too.
So, I guess that means that we're both going to do the honorable thing, huh? Would you have it any other way? No.
Come on.
The Bride of Frankenstein awaits.
You know, if we stay up late watching a movie, I'm not going to feel much like driving home.
So can I crash here? That's going to make it a little more difficult to do the honorable thing.
I'll sleep in Steve's room.
You better lock the door.
I'll take that as a compliment.
You should.
I've had the most amazing few days.
I caught a pass from Steve Young.
Hello! I traded quips with Nobel prize winners.
Maybe I'm doing something right.
You do a lot of things right.
- Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.
Maybe it's time I started demonstrating my finer things.
Wait a second, I want to give you something.
What? And how many shots will it take to get rid of it? Put your hand out.
Okay, now this is something that's very important to me, okay? But I want you to have it.
What is this? Clare, you're not in a sorority.
It's not for a sorority.
It's my Phi Beta Kappa Key.
Honor society.
I want you to have it.
Well, I feel like that scarecrow getting a diploma.
Usually I feel like the flying monkey, but today I guess I get a brain, huh? You have a brain.
And now you have the key to prove it.
Thanks, Clare.
You earned it.
You really believe in me? Yeah, I do.
This was definitely the best birthday I've ever had.
Thank you.
Yeah, well, it's not over yet.
Joe, I want to be with you tonight.
Wait a minute.
What? I knew that I liked you a lot, Donna.
But after today, after all you've done for me I now know that I'm crazy about you.
Good.
'Cause I'm crazy about you, too.
And that's why I have to say this, before we get any closer, before this goes too far.
What? What's the matter? I haven't felt this way about someone in a a long time.
Maybe ever.
So why is that a problem? Because, Donna, I, um Look Joe, whatever it is I'll understand.
All right.
Then, I'll just come right out with it.
Donna, I don't believe in premarital sex.
What? I know that sounds incredibly square.
And, uh, you know, if that's too much for you to handle then, then I totally understand.
Wait, let me get this straight, you have no sexual history? None to speak of.
You're not gonna believe this.
What? Me either.
Me either, what? Me either that I don't have any sexual history.
I don't believe in premarital sex.
But you just said I know, and I meant it.
I guess part of me just thought that I might lose you if I didn't sleep with you.
Donna, that is the most wonderful thing anyone has ever said to me.
Hi.
Good morning.
I didn't know you were up.
I've been up for hours.
- I'm going to get the paper.
- Already got it.
And I have coffee.
Well, I hope it's strong.
I have two days to finish all the work I've been putting off all weekend.
So when's Colin getting back? Sunday.
How about Susan? Same.
You know, sometimes I really hate being such a good guy.
Well, this shouldn't be one of those times.
We did the right thing, Brandon.
Yeah, I know.
What was that for? Nothing.
Just for being you, that's all.
That's nice.