Bones s06e12 Episode Script

2 Okay.
She's six and a half centimeters.
It should be a matter of minutes.
Paul, I should go.
I don't think we're gonna make dinner.
- She's almost done.
- It's really late.
- Right.
- And I've been waiting for five hours.
We can go to breakfast.
There's a place around the corner - makes the best French toast.
- I really have to go.
You'll miss the miracle of birth.
Death's calling on the other line.
Uh, coffee, later today, 3:00? Think you can get away? I will.
I'll clear the afternoon.
Okay.
Get this baby out of me! - Neechie, uh Neechie what? - Nixtamalization.
The traditional Aztec method used to prepare kernels for consumption.
Maize was a very important aspect of Mesoamerican life.
- Where are we? - I have no idea.
- I should've brought the G.
P.
S.
- Or a periscope.
Here, you can be the periscope.
No, thanks.
You wanna be the guy holding the periscope? What do you see? Everything.
This height is extremely advantageous.
Do you see the crime scene? Yes.
The crime scene is over there.
- Here they come.
- I hear Cam.
- Cam? - Yeah.
Cam? There you are.
I thought we were lost.
- This crime scene is very remote.
- And the corn is creepy.
It is, right? For a vegetable.
Or is it a grain? Maize is actually a grass.
- Why are you so dressed up? - Paul and I were headed to dinner when one of his patients went into labor and one of mine turned up in a cornfield.
- Ooh, bummer.
- Yeah.
Nobody's touched it.
I was waiting for you.
The state of decomposition and the height of the plants beneath the body suggests some passage of time.
Well, what do they say about corn? Knee high by the Fourth of July? - How would you know? - I did Oklahoma in high school.
With the dry weather we've been having, I'd say he's been dead maybe four weeks.
Victim is male, early 40s.
And judging by his clothes, he was here to work.
Any ideas about cause of death? Oh.
There we go.
This is a homicide.
Evidence of a bullet wound to the sternum.
Gladiolus and the true ribs.
Right.
See a bullet in there? No.
I don't see the exit wound clearly.
Looks like the muzzle of the gun was held in intermediate proximity, close to the chest.
Well, there's gotta be a bullet around here somewhere.
Uh, that was thunder.
- Yeah.
- There's lots to do.
Let's pull some soil samples and get outta these guys' way.
- Are you prepared to remove the body? - Yeah.
I got the bag right here.
Forget about the bag.
You need a tarp now.
This is about to turn into Woodstock.
Oh, uh, which way is the car? I have no idea.
We didn't anticipate rain.
- Yeah.
You never know.
Whoa! Let's cover him up before he's soup.
You got off easy, kid.
Mother Nature cleaned these bones.
- She did a crappy job.
- Shh! She can hear you.
We bagged the body before the hard stuff came down but five minutes later it was a mud bath.
Man, why do I always miss the fun? Something has been snacking on this guy.
A rodent with large incisors.
Muskrats.
The farmer who owns the land said he's been having a problem.
Well, did he by any chance shoot at them? I don't think so.
He has severe rheumatoid arthritis.
Oh.
Look at this, Dr.
Saroyan.
I see a tangential entry wound, but no radiating fractures.
It's consistent with a close-range shot.
What's the diameter? Which could be anything between a nine-millimeter and a.
38.
Has Agent Booth found the bullet? - Last I heard, F.
B.
I.
has a team out looking.
- Hmm.
I'll check on the progress.
"Not yet" is not an answer, all right? So just keep looking.
Right.
- What are you doing here? - Any luck with the bullet? You know, they're changing the expression from, uh needle in a haystack to bullet in a cornfield.
Well, let me know as soon as you can.
Ballistics gets backed up this time of year.
Right.
You know what it means if we don't find it.
- The guy wasn't killed in the cornfield.
- That's it.
Yeah.
So, why are you here again? To be honest, Seeley, I I want your opinion about something personal.
Oh.
This is about your boyfriend.
Ah, Paul's not my boyfriend.
We just see each other once in a while.
And every time we do somebody's water breaks and he's gotta go.
That's not his fault.
He shares this practice with six doctors.
- He chooses to be this busy.
- You like this guy.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Okay, look.
Then it's all about communication.
You just gotta give this guy a chance.
But I feel like I have.
How many chances does he deserve? Nine.
- That's cats.
- Applies to men and cats.
All right.
So listen.
All I'm saying is you deserve someone great.
And if you feel as though this guy is the one then don't let him get away.
This doesn't make any sense.
A clay shoveler's fracture at the C7 indicates a life of hard labor but anterior wedging of the mid vertebrae suggests that a great deal of time was spent in a seated position.
He baled hay and drove a tractor.
But look at the muscle attachments.
- Hmm.
A result of repetitive motion? - Yes.
And there appear to be stress fractures forming at the radiocarpal joints.
It's as if this man spent a great deal of time supporting his weight on his hands while engaging in a repetitive motion.
I get it.
This motion would be reminiscent of a primate having intercourse.
We are looking for a horny farmer.
Yes, we are.
It's Booth.
Brennan.
Ed Samuel, 41.
He rents farm equipment in the area where the body was found.
He went missing about a month ago.
He was wearing a plaid shirt, blue jeans.
That sounds consistent.
We'll need to confirm with dental records.
Ask if he was horny.
Oh, uh, was he promiscuous? I don't know.
His wife Maryann's at home right now.
- Okay, I'm gonna come pick you up.
- Okay.
I mean, what difference does it make if he was promiscuous? The evidence seems to indicate that the victim spent a lot of time copulating.
These are my children and my, um, father, Dan - and my sisters Beth and Carol.
- How do you do? F.
B.
I.
Special Agent Booth.
This here is my partner, Dr.
Temperance Brennan.
- I've very sorry for your loss.
- Thank you.
And thank you for coming.
Hey, kids.
Let's go to the park, huh? Let's go.
- Can we - Oh, sure.
Do you mind if my sisters stay? Of course not.
So, tell us about your husband, Ed.
Uh, well, he was raised right here in town.
He always farmed his parents' land.
And when I was pregnant with our first son he started the equipment rental business to help make ends meet.
How many children do you have? Eleven.
We always wanted a big family.
Ed must've enjoyed having sex with a pregnant partner.
I can tell how much time he spent copulating.
So the night that Ed disappeared? It was just any other night.
We were here making dinner with the kids and, um, he just never came home.
Eventually we called the police.
Any reason to believe why somebody would want to hurt your husband? No.
Everybody loved Ed.
So, do you or your husband own a gun? Yes, we do.
Uh, Ed liked to keep one for protection.
It's in the bedroom.
I can show you to the bedroom.
This way.
Hey.
Check out this Solanum tuberosum.
Why are you walking like that? Like what? Slow.
You usually walk fast.
Just thinkin'.
Ah, that's her pensive walk.
Care to share what you're "pensing" about? Oh, nothing.
Life.
You have a life? No, Dr.
Hodgins.
I don't.
Is everything okay? Everything's fine.
What's this about potato particulates in our cornfield? Ah, not in the cornfield.
I found them in the chest wound.
- Lots of 'em.
- Uh, and look what I found on his shirt.
They're called, uh, anthers.
It's the pollen-bearing part of certain flower stamens.
- Corn flower or potato flower? - Neither.
We're talking about a whole other plant entirely.
This victim he was like a full-blown salad of plant particulates.
- Then you should be a happy man.
- There's no one happier.
You see, Dr.
Saroyan? It's okay.
No one has a life around here.
Are any of the children the result of multiple birth? No.
They're congenitally deformed.
Why would you say such a thing? Cranial proportion indicates that all of these subjects are less than 18 months old.
Divided by average human gestation and They have small heads, Bones.
They look very cooperative in that picture.
I mean, someone takes a picture of my kid, he hits 'em.
The children are a blessing.
Here's his gun.
He doesn't use it.
It's just for protection.
Does he have any bullets? I don't see any, but I will go to the closet in the other room and check.
Great.
- The small heads.
- They're statistically impossible.
But you don't just say - Who's that? - Oh, it's Cam.
Hey, what's up? If it helps, Hodgins found potato particulates in the wound.
Oh, they used a potato as a silencer.
Is there a pillow shortage in Virginia? I don't know.
It's a country thing.
Shoot through a potato.
I gotta go.
This is all we've got.
All right.
Thanks.
Do you know anyone who farms potatoes by any chance? I suppose some people do.
Um, our family photos are private.
Not during a murder case.
I understand your secrecy.
You must face great stigma in the United States.
- Bones, we should go.
- I understand the practicality.
I studied a similar tribe in Papua New Guinea.
I take it back.
Those children are not deformed, Booth.
- Bones.
- They Let's just I'm sorry.
Let's go.
They have three different mothers.
Look.
Ed and Maryann.
Ed and Beth.
Ed was married to both of you? And Carol.
These women aren't just sisters.
They're sister-wives.
American polygamy's primarily limited to one tradition.
Uh, these people are Fundamentalist Latter-Day Saints.
- Mormons.
- No.
They're not sanctioned by the mainstream church.
Mormons abandoned the practice of plural marriage a long time ago.
- How do you know about this, Sweets? - College paper.
No.
Television.
The mainstream media depicts plural marriage as if it were the, uh, proverbial bug in a jar.
That's just pretty strange, if you ask me.
Was Ed Samuel legally married to all three sisters? One.
The other two were married in a religious ceremony.
That's how he stayed out of jail.
Then it's merely a personal choice.
Polygamy is a viable response to many socioeconomic conditions.
- Really? How so? - Well, I can see why a man might fantasize.
Sweets, didn't ask you.
- Bones, go ahead.
How so? - For instance, in ancient China the male-to-female ratio was skewed.
We're talking about Virginia here.
Okay? Ratio is just fine.
Swingers.
These guys were swingers.
Swingers are, by definition, couples who, with permission Just stop, all right? I'm saying is that you know, multiple marriages great motive for murder.
- You're applying your own bias.
- No, actually, I agree with Agent Booth on this one.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Polygamy may make sense anthropologically but jealousy is a very powerful emotion.
Free love taught us one thing open relationships don't necessarily work.
- I mean, did these women claim to be happy? - They said they were.
Did they have alibis? They were at home, shouldering their economic burden communally.
Right.
Clipping coupons.
You know what I should do? I should call the sisters' dad Dan Lambertt.
How could he be cool with this? That's a good place to start.
I'm right behind you.
Thanks.
- Cam.
- What's up? We still on for that coffee? I can't.
I'm sorry.
I hate to jerk you around like this.
No.
I get it.
I told this woman to stay off the trampoline.
You do what you gotta do.
We've all got responsibilities.
All right.
Listen, uh when I say tomorrow, I mean tomorrow.
- I promise.
- Talk to you then.
Safe delivery.
That gun looks nice.
- Dr.
Lidner, she's crowning.
- Yeah.
Honestly, I thought my girls were out of their minds.
But you spoke with Ed on a regular basis for years.
Ed and Maryann met at church when they were teenagers.
His family, our family all of us attended the same place.
Right.
That, uh Let's see.
That Mormon church up at Balding? Yeah.
I thought he was good for her.
I couldn't have been happier when they got married.
Then a few years later, he comes to me wants to take Beth as his second wife in some ceremony, with Maryann standin' right there.
- Says it was Maryann's idea.
- Well, what'd you say? I was shocked.
I mean, I-I The girls had always been close, but like this - They said it was what they wanted.
- So you just went along with it? It's not my business to make life harder on my kids.
- Where were you the night that Ed disappeared? - At work.
I'm retired, but I still take some shifts at the hardware store.
You know, your daughters they haven't really been forthcoming about their situation.
I'm sure they weren't.
They don't have it easy around here, Agent Booth.
My girls don't deserve this.
Neither did Ed.
No one should've had a problem.
Who had a problem? A lot of people.
You talk to Pete Mill? - Who's Pete Mill? - He owns that pecan orchard up the road.
A month ago, someone scratched "Plig" on the hood of Beth's car and bashed out the windshield.
Hmm.
Plig.
- It's, uh, derogatory for "polygamist.
" - Right.
- You think he's the one who did this? - I know he did.
So, Mr.
Lambertt, you Do you own any guns? Yeah, a few for hunting.
You can take 'em.
Take 'em all.
Oh, that poor man.
- Three.
- And they're sisters.
- I heard you the first time.
- But they don't engage in sexual intercourse in a group setting.
Rather, they keep a strict calendar.
Why would one man even want three wives? Well, with three wives, he can produce 11 children in eight years.
I guess more people to do dishes.
- Wh-What is she doing? - What are you doing? Shooting a gun into this big tank.
It's homicide season.
The F.
B.
I.
ballistics lab gets all backed up.
But you can't run ballistics.
We haven't recovered the bullet yet.
Well, when they do, I'll be ready.
Is it safe to shoot in the lab? Probably not.
Uh, can you stand behind the line? - Can I do it? - No.
You go look at some bones and take some ear protection with you.
This gun is mine.
Fire in the hole! Have you made any progress with the mandible? I can hear you.
What's wrong with Dr.
Saroyan? It's likely she's experiencing sexual frustra But Cam is a very private person.
The mandible.
I don't know what caused the condition but I've ruled out cancer and pesticides.
I also I also found a perimortem bruise on the pelvis specifically the frontal curve of the right iliac crest.
And look at this.
There are particulates embedded in the exit wound.
Look at the posterior aspect of the seventh rib.
A result of blowback.
The bullet struck a hard surface upon exit causing the particulates to propel backward.
That's correct.
Who let Cam shoot a gun? The Second Amendment.
- What's that? - That is the answer to our anthers.
Behold the catkin.
It's a cylindrical bud cluster found on several flowering plants.
In this case, the Carya illinoinensis otherwise known as the pecan tree.
Wait.
This flower is from a pecan tree? It certainly is.
Hey.
Pete Mill, right? You own Mill's Pecans an orchard near the field where the body was found? I don't know anything about that.
You don't know if you farm pecans? I farm pecans.
I don't know nothin' about no dead body.
It's a small community.
Can't deny that you knew the victim.
He wasn't a friend or nothin'.
- I just knew him.
- But you didn't like him.
You know what his deal was, right? - He was a polygamist.
- Pervert, I call it.
He was livin' in sin, defying the laws of nature.
And it was your job to let him know, right? - Tell me about the car.
- What car? You scratched a word on the hood of Beth Samuel's car.
"P-L-I-G.
" That's it.
I need a lawyer.
Work with me here, Pete.
Nobody cares that you keyed a car but you don't wanna go down for murder if you didn't do it.
Son, I believe in family values.
Marrying three girls from the same family ain't right.
Amen.
Did you kill him? The sanctity of the institution of marriage is everyone's business.
Marriage should be between one man and one woman.
Not two boys.
Not a cow and a frog, or Actually, you may need that lawyer.
Do you own any guns, Mr.
Mill? Yeah.
An old.
22.
- Okay.
- And a new.
22.
Granddad's revolver, new shotgun old shotguns, rifles, pistols.
You name it.
I sent over the guns from all our suspects.
I see.
Over there, guys.
Find the bullet yet? - No.
It's officially not there.
- So we know the body was moved, and we have no idea where he was killed.
- That's right.
- Okay.
I'll get to work.
I've got nothin' else to do tonight.
What, you don't have a date with the doc? He canceled this afternoon.
I'm starting to feel like a sap.
Oh, come on.
You've been called a lot of things, but sappy is definitely not one of 'em.
Hey, Seeley, I was thinking.
I have a theory about this case.
- All right.
Go ahead.
Shoot.
- Why do people kill other people? Money.
Jealousy.
Love.
Bingo.
Okay.
Look.
There's no way that all three women were okay being in King Ed's harem.
- How do you know? - I just know.
I don't have to tell you about plural marriage in the Bible.
Okay, that's the Old Testament.
- Both testaments reference it without fanfare.
It was a given.
- Wow.
You know what? That was a long time ago.
No need to take it so literally.
You believe that Jesus walked on water.
We really don't need to have this argument right now.
Who are you to choose what should be taken literally in a sacred text? - You can't have it both ways.
- Exactly my point.
- You pick a wife, and you go with it.
- History suggests that monogamy would only guarantee extinction, not happiness.
Right.
Well, history is wrong.
That's all I can say.
Wrongo, wrongo.
Booth.
Right.
Thank you.
You're about to say something that supports your argument.
Hmm? Well, Maryann Samuel better known as contestant number one filed for divorce from her husband six weeks ago.
How is that for happiness? Ahhh.
I know I should have told you.
Right.
Well, you do know that it's illegal to withhold information during the course of a federal investigation.
- It makes you look really guilty.
- I'm sorry.
I haven't even been honest with my sisters about the divorce.
Really? You don't say, 'cause, you know, I thought you shared everything.
Not yet.
I didn't want them to be hurt.
I Ed was still trying to talk me out of it.
Okay, you do realize this looks more and more like a motive for murder.
Well, it's not.
I know it's hard for you to understand why we live the way we do.
It is our religious belief.
You're right.
You're absolutely right.
I don't understand.
I just wanted to look after my sisters.
I didn't mind sharing Ed, as long as it was with them.
All right.
You cited "irreconcilable differences.
" Can you be more specific? What? You wanted to sleep with Ed on Wednesdays and Fridays instead of Tuesdays and Thursdays? No.
Ed was having an affair.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- What are those? - They're particulates from the blowback that were lodged in the victim after he was shot.
- That wasn't clear at all, was it? - I stopped listening.
Okay.
After he was shot, right the bullet went through him and then it hit the wall or something and then the debris blew back and lodged into his spine.
Was that any clearer? I don't know, honey.
I stopped listening.
The baby was moving.
Man.
I'm so jealous that I don't get to feel him yet.
Oh, don't be upset.
It's only the most amazing thing in the world.
You're so cruel.
You know, with this baby coming, we could, uh - we could really use another wife.
- Really? You want me to marry another woman? No, not you.
Me.
I could use the help.
I'm gonna be like a 24-hour restaurant.
I will be your slave.
You know that.
Would you want another wife? Truth? Oh, I'm not sure.
If I could marry you twice, I would do it in a heartbeat.
I wish we could have sex at work.
Mm-hmm.
- Really? - Yeah.
It's this lab coat, isn't it? Ooh.
Well, they're organic.
Huh? The particulates.
Some kind of plant.
Well, he was found in a cornfield.
Yes, but this is not corn.
This baby's gonna be so proud of me.
Your phone is ringing.
Yeah.
It's Paul.
- Oh, hot Dr.
Paul? - That's the one.
Uh-oh.
What did he do? Nothing.
We're just two ships passing in the night.
I don't think it's gonna work out.
Hmm.
- He must've done something.
- No, he didn't.
Okay, he hasn't kept a date in three weeks.
What is his excuse? Women in labor.
No, it's a good excuse.
Don't get me wrong.
But I'm I'm just starting to wonder how much he cares for me.
I mean, best-case scenario, he's a workaholic.
- Well, then it's a match made in heaven.
- If we ever saw each other.
Oh.
I get it.
You're blowing him off so he'll come crawling back.
No.
That's not it at all.
Yes, it is.
- I'm all for it.
- I'm way too old to play that game.
This isn't a game.
You're Cam.
You don't wait around.
Go ahead and make your plans.
And if they don't include him, then he'll catch up.
Booth says I need to communicate.
There's more than one way to communicate.
Do you have a better strategy? So, due to the presence of blowback in and around the wound we know that the bullet came into contact with a hard object upon exit.
For instance, the wall.
- Well, we don't know that.
- But let's say the wall.
- Is that a plausible scenario? - I think so.
Do we have any more information on the assailant? Booth thinks it may be the victim's first wife.
Is the representation of the victim's height accurate? Seems Maryann may be too short to hold the gun comfortably.
No, the representation is accurate.
I cracked this nut wide open.
- How? - The particulates we found in the blowback are actually pecan.
We already know the victim came into contact with the flower of that same plant.
Yes, but I'm not talking about an ordinary pecan.
This pecan has undergone a unique digestive process rendering it into, for lack of a better word, a rock.
A digested pecan.
What animal turns pecans into rocks? Good question.
When we find the answer there's where Booth will find his magic bullet and thus, the scene of the crime.
Let's see what happens when I put him on the floor.
Why did you do that? Well, what digested pecan would be on the wall? Good point.
It's far more likely for feces to be on the floor.
There you are.
I found out why our victim had a mush mouth.
Isotope results indicate high levels of radium.
That's a bone-seeking isotope.
Someone was likely trying to poison Ed Samuel.
Hmm.
- He was poisoned? - It makes sense.
His teeth and jaw clearly suffered exposure over time.
He was drinking it.
That's the number one way that wives off their husbands.
- It is? - Seems like it is.
But ultimately, Ed Samuel was shot.
Well, after she got tired of waiting around for him to keel over on the dining room table.
- Which one do you think it was? - I don't think the wives would have access to radium salt.
- Who would? - The use of radium salt is limited to scientific experimentation.
- All right.
Would a college laboratory have it? - It's possible.
Possible.
'Cause Ed Samuel was dating a grad student in his spare time.
How'd you meet Ed Samuel? I tutor his son Jasper in chemistry.
Ed brought him to the lab on campus.
Were you aware Jasper had three mommies? No.
I thought Maryann was his mother.
She picked him up once in a while.
- So you slept with her husband.
- Yeah.
I mean, I know it was wrong, but really, it was no biggie.
No biggie.
What do you want? I'm 22.
He bought me a really nice used convertible.
How did you find out about Beth and Carol? When they showed up one night while I was finishing up an assignment for the next day.
All three of them.
- But Maryann did all the talking.
- What'd she say? She was calling me a whore and said, like, all this scary Bible stuff.
I ran out.
Now, do you have something called, uh, radium salt in your lab? We used to.
We studied its use as a fertilizer.
It has to be kept in a special box lined with metal, marked "radioactive.
" What happened to it? I don't know.
I went to look for it the other day, and it was gone.
I should've called the cops.
Okay, so does anyone want to speak up? - That's not ours.
At least it's not mine.
- No, it's not mine either.
Someone is trying to frame us.
I don't know anything about it.
Well, we will soon.
They're testing for fingerprints right now.
And since you all live here, you can all be held legally responsible.
It's mine.
Okay? I-It's mine.
Believe me, Agent Booth, I did this alone.
Maryann and Beth knew nothing about it.
- What were you thinking? - She has always been a troublemaker.
I thought inviting her into the family would help.
If you were having problems, there are other ways.
Like divorcing him secretly? Really? Now the truth comes out.
- Who was getting a divorce? - I was.
I-I didn't want to ruin your lives.
I was gonna tell you.
No, you weren't.
I saw the paperwork in your trash two weeks ago.
- What were you doing in my bathroom? - I needed something.
- Ladies, please.
- No one is allowed in anyone else's bathroom.
I admit it is fascinating to watch a tight-knit group fracture under pressure.
- Yeah, that, and they're dangerous.
- Right.
Okay, ladies.
Everybody, please.
Calm down.
Obviously you've all been under an enormous amount of stress.
Tell us exactly what circumstances led you to poison your husband.
We went to talk to that Heather Lakefish and I saw the radium salt right there.
But I didn't want to kill him.
I just wanted more time with him.
I thought you kept a strict schedule to avoid complications.
We do.
But we have different responsibilities.
And when Ed is sick, he stays with me.
I went to nursing school.
Oh.
Then you know that poisoning leads to death.
I I didn't give him that much.
Just enough so I could see him once in a while.
We never got to be alone.
They're always hovering.
They're jealous.
You are so ungrateful.
Well, at least she tells the truth.
Okay, ladies.
We're done.
All right? Carol, you're being booked on attempted murder.
I, uh, see it's not a good time.
Paul.
Uh, what are you doing here? You weren't answering my calls.
Then again, maybe you didn't hear them.
I got your message.
Messages.
- I should have called.
- Excuse me.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Uh, Dr.
Saroyan Dr.
Hodgins is beginning the feces project, if you'd like to join? How can you say no? It can wait.
And can you come with me? Yeah.
- Um - I know why you're angry.
No, I'm not angry.
Okay.
Maybe a little.
I have too many patients, and they take up too much of my time.
No.
You're good with your patients.
And it's not just you.
We're both strapped to a schedule.
I just don't know where that leaves us.
Hey.
You don't want to start catching babies, do you? All right.
Then we'll come over here and shoot guns.
Oh, I wish it were that easy.
We can make it easy.
Cam, the reason I came here at an incredibly inconvenient time for both of us is because I had to say this.
I care about my job.
But I'm starting to realize I care more about you.
I love being with you, Cam.
I mean, you're brilliant and gorgeous, and I think about you all the time.
I I don't know what to say.
I don't want anything to get in the way of this relationship, okay? Not even the career I've worked for my entire life.
You have responsibilities.
So do you.
But I have to prioritize.
And so do you.
Angela said we're both workaholics.
A mother's intuition kicking in.
She's right.
That's why I lied to my patients.
Yeah.
I told everyone I'm going to Thailand for my sister's wedding.
Paul! Mmm.
I made reservations for dinner tonight at the Founding Fathers and I bought you a scarf.
I'm sorry.
I can't.
I have a murder to solve.
Then stand me up.
I'll feel better.
We'll be even.
No, no, no.
Really, I can't, Paul.
But I will call you next week.
I promise.
So that's a yes? See you at 8:00.
- What are you doing? - I'm watching a live feed.
Peter Mill distributes his surplus pecan crop as food for livestock through a local co-op.
For sheep, pigs and an ostrich? Good God, man.
Did you go to college? - Is that an emu? - Ah, that's better.
So you feed them pecans and then you plan to retrieve their, uh Feces.
Right.
To see which animal's excrement best matches the evidence found in the blowback.
Correct.
Care to take a field trip this afternoon? - I got two shovels.
- Oh, I-I-I can't.
I'm I'm busy.
You know.
Really? Busy, huh? Yeah.
I just Mm-hmm.
Too busy to go through feces? This moron was poisoned and shot.
I'm surprised he wasn't stabbed and burned up too.
I think "moron" is a little harsh for someone who was merely living a lifestyle you are uncomfortable with.
How about nitwit or doofus? - What was that? What's goin' on? - Oh, uh, adaptive cruise control.
When the Prius senses the car ahead is too close, it warns you and slows down.
Oh, right.
So the car's smarter than our victim.
- Anthropologically, the victim - No, no, no.
No.
No more anthropology.
You live with three women, it's like a breeding ground for revenge and violence.
- You wanna know why? - Because human beings are more complex than anthropological tropes.
What might work for one culture is an anathema to another.
- Wait.
Are you agreeing with me? - No.
No.
No.
- Yeah.
- I'm merely stating what is currently accepted.
You're agreeing with me.
Yes, you are.
Only insofar as the victim should have realized how complicated his relationships would become in our present culture.
In that case, and in that case only he he was a he was a nitwit.
- He was a nitwit.
- Did you just laugh? I did.
I think I did.
I'm sorry.
- Bones.
- It's wrong.
Because a man is dead.
That's right.
You're right.
It's sad.
Yeah.
He was a bonehead.
I I like that term.
It's very appropriate for my profession.
- Right? Bones.
Bonehead.
- Bone.
Get it? - Do you get it? - How about this? Ass hat.
The guy was a real ass hat.
- Oh, we're terrible.
- I won't tell if you don't.
Ass hat.
Right.
Right.
Okay.
Right.
All right.
So is Hodgins any closer to finding out about the pecan poop? He's narrowing it down, and it will tell us where he was killed before he was moved to the cornfield.
Poisoned, shot and rolled in poo-poo.
Twit.
Chowderhead.
Numskull.
We really are terrible.
- We're terrible.
- We're bad.
- Really terrible.
- Doofus.
They've arrested one of Ed Samuel's sister-wives.
I heard.
But she wasn't trying to kill him? Only maim him.
We still don't know the identity of the shooter.
What do you think of this? Angela asked me to take a look, but something's not right.
Did she check the figures pertaining to the bullet's angle and velocity? They're accurate.
And placing the assailant directly over the victim is consistent with the blowback and the direction of the beveling.
True.
But why wouldn't the victim get back up? It takes two hands to shoot someone through a potato.
I see your point.
The kinesiology is questionable.
I'll need you to gather all of the possible weapons and measure the length of each barrel immediately.
Then prepare full ballistics reports.
I don't - I don't think so.
- Why not? - You don't need me tonight.
- Of course I do.
But it can wait, can't it? I suppose.
It's important, but So is my love life.
I'm gonna go home and get ready for a date.
See ya tomorrow.
- Where's she going? - To have sex with Dr.
Lidner.
Oh.
Good for Dr.
Saroyan.
I have an idea.
Please, lie down.
What? Oh.
One of these.
Okay.
Ed Samuel was a fairly large man.
What would the killer have to do to subdue him? Oh.
Ah.
Ow, ow.
The perimortem bruise on the iliac crest.
One woman could not have overcome this victim.
Are you talking about multiple killers? No.
We found no evidence to support that theory.
I believe this crime was committed by one man.
A man who feeds turkeys.
- Based upon? - Are you two familiar with the principles of aviary digestion? - No.
- No.
In the simplest terms the digested pecan particulate we found in the blowback is the result of intense dehydration and compression thanks to the unique gizzard structure of the common turkey.
- Is there an uncommon turkey? - Yes.
The oscillated turkey.
It lives solely on the Yucatán Peninsula.
But assuming this crime happened in Virginia I asked the co-op to provide a list of who feeds turkeys in the area.
And take a look.
Dan Lambertt is on this list the victim's father-in-law.
Mm-hmm.
Now, we go to where he keeps his turkeys, and I bet we find the bullet.
- And if the past's a distant land Maybe there is no rhyme or reason And we have sticks and stones and bruises Can we undo what has been done? - Is this the way destiny chooses? - Fire in the hole! And if the past's a distant land Maybe there is no rhyme or reason Found this gun in your septic tank, and the bullet was right here.
How could he do that to my girls? He was having an affair.
He was cheating on 'em.
Weren't three wives enough? You understand, don't you, Agent Booth? You know why I did this.
That doesn't make it right.
I tried to talk some sense into him.
He wouldn't listen.
Well, that doesn't give you the right to take it in your own hands and do what you did.
Looks great to me.
See a mountain See an ocean See the years that bring rock and tide Close together - Settle down - Mm-hmm.
- I said to myself Things that come with time Will always be better Hey.
- Hey.
- Hi.
Hey.
- Hi, Cam.
- Hi, guys.
Well, you'll be relieved to know that we caught the killer.
Oh! Good.
Who Who did it? The father of the sister-wives.
Wait.
But isn't that your prospective partner over there? - It is.
Hey, Doc.
- Hey.
- I am such a fool.
- Would you like to join us? Oh, God, no.
I mean, no, no.
You guys can - Yeah.
I think she wants to be alone.
- Oh.
You look beautiful.
Thank you.
Well, a night off can do wonders.
Yeah.
It's nice, isn't it? We should make it a habit.
Let me get your coat.
Wow.
Is that my scarf? Yeah.
Go ahead.
- They make a nice couple, don't they? - Yeah, they do.
Should you call Hannah and ask her to join us? She enjoys drinking alcohol very much.
Nah, she's working late, you know.
Hey.
Hey.
Can we get the usual here? Comin' up.
So, this case proves that, um, two's company.
You were right.
The Samuel wives only appeared to be happy with their arrangement.
Right.
The one guy who was happy ended up dead.
Do you think Ed Samuel loved all of his wives equally? No.
Mm-mmm.
He loved the first one the most.
- How do you know? - The schedule.
But each week, each wife was assigned two nights apiece.
And he spent Sunday nights alone.
Well, he was supposed to spend Sunday alone.
- But he didn't? - He went back to the first one.
- He did? - Every Sunday.
That's what they said.
- What does that mean? - Well, it means, Bones that, you know, you can love a lot of people in this world but there's only one person that you love the most.
Well, how do you know which person you love the most when you're confused by chemical messages traveling throughout your limbic system? You just do.
What if you let that person get away? That person's not goin' anywhere.
We are a good team all of us.
The best.
What's that mean? English - US - SDH