Boy Meets World s06e12 Episode Script

Previously on Boy Meets World Angela and I decided to take a break.
You broke up? Yeah.
I guess that's what we did.
I didn't break up with Shawn.
What do you mean? He broke up with me.
If you two love each other, you should be together.
Maybe if Angela knew how you felt No, it's too late.
Angela's not in love with me anymore.
I opened my heart to you.
I just can't sit around like a fool, waiting for you to be ready.
Angela It's over, Shawn.
Wow! These women are fat.
Eric.
Hey, look.
Thanks again for filling in on such short notice.
I have no idea where your father is.
Oh, don't worry about it, Mom.
You know there's nothing I wouldn't do for little Eric, or if it's a girl, Eric the girl.
Don't touch my stomach.
Hi.
Okay, mommies and daddies.
Let's take our seats and get comfortable.
How you doing? Good.
Hi.
That's my mom.
I'm her baby.
Eric, the pillows are for me.
You.
Oh, you, you, you.
It's all about you, isn't it? Now, giving your partner lots of support, let's start with deep diaphragmatic breathing.
So, where's your daddy? I mean, your tummy's daddy.
You know, the guy that did that to you.
My husband's in the Navy.
He's on an aircraft carrier in the South China Sea.
Oh, yeah, I'm filling in for my dad.
He ran out on my mom this morning.
Eric! Hello.
I'm his mother, and yet I'm having another one.
It's nice for you to fill in for your dad.
Hi.
I'm Jessica.
Oh, hi.
I'm Eric.
How are you? Oh, look at that.
You wobble like a Weeble.
Amy, I completely forgot.
I'm sorry.
Where have you been? I just lost track of time.
It's really okay, Dad.
Don't worry about it.
I got the whole thing under control.
All right, ready, Mom? Push! Goodbye, Eric.
Okay.
All right.
Let's move on to some controlled breathing exercises.
Hey, Eric, if you're free, I'd really appreciate it if you'd be my partner.
Really? Oh, that's so nice that somebody appreciates me.
Okay, coaches.
Count three "hee, hee, hee" breaths, followed by three "ho, ho, ho" breaths.
What was so important that made you late? I was looking at something.
Alan, you're being a little vague.
Motorcycle.
What? A motorcycle? Right on, Dad! We're having a baby, and you're out looking for motorcycles? Why don't you just go all the way and buy yourself a yellow corvette? You'd be okay with that? If it would get you to class on time.
Alan, what's going on? Nothing.
I'm just a little late, that's all.
I've done this three times.
I'm not like one of these kids who has no idea what's going on.
Old man's getting a yellow corvette, huh? Right on, brother.
Hello, guys.
Thanks for coming.
We know why we're here.
You don't have to say anything.
Cory and I discussed it.
We've decided that we are not going to butt into your lives no matter what you do.
Right, Cory? Absolutely.
You're our best friends, but we have no right to tell you to be together if that's not what you want.
We don't believe you.
You don't believe me? No, no, no.
Him.
We don't believe him.
Which is why we've drawn up a little document.
This is a restraining order.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
"Cory Matthews and Topanga Lawrence "are hereby forbidden to interfere with the separation of "or encourage accidental rendezvous between Shawn and Angela.
"In addition, the aforementioned parties are " Aforementioned parties? Is this what we are to you? I, for one, do not need a piece of paper to know when to butt out.
And I do? All right, I do.
Look, we love you both, and we appreciate everything you've tried to do, but, you know, this is the best for all of us.
See you later.
Wait a minute.
Shawn, are you all right with this? Yes.
Yes, I am fine.
In fact, both Angela and I have dates tonight.
Shawn Hunter has been out of circulation for far too long.
I am back.
I am excited, and I'm ready to rock and roll.
All right.
Where you gonna take her? I don't know.
Who cares? I want to thank you guys for bringing us here.
I'm having a really good time.
Yeah, me, too.
You know, I was a little worried about going out with Shawn at first because I heard he just ended a long relationship, and I thought he'd be a drag.
He's not normally like this.
Shawn's a ton of fun.
Talk to him.
Hey, hey.
What's the matter, buddy? I'm a little blue.
It doesn't show, does it? No! No, you are the life of the party, friend.
Everybody is thrilled to be with you.
Is it me? It can't be me.
I'm adorable.
You are.
You're as cute as could be.
He must have really loved this girl.
I can't discuss it.
I'm under a restraining order.
Hey.
Hey.
Get up.
You used to be so good at this.
You were the king.
He was the king! Shawn, would it make you feel any better if I told you that Angela's in the same place you are? Maybe a little.
Then cheer up.
Angela's in the same place you are.
So, I says, "Feeny, if the sun never sets on the British Empire, "when do they watch Letterman?" Oh, it's gonna be a long night.
Angela! Of all the restaurants in Philadelphia, you chose this one.
Well, what a coincidence.
This is Ron.
Hey, guys.
Hi, Ron, how are you? I'm Shawn.
Good to meet you.
This is Kelly, my date.
That's Topanga and Cory, and this is Kelly, my date.
I understand we have a potentially embarrassing situation here, but I hope we can all be mature and have a wonderful time.
Angela, it's always good to see you.
Ron seems like a great guy.
Enjoy yourselves.
Have a good night.
This is Kelly, my date.
You, too, Shawn.
Nice meeting you, Kelly.
You see? Do you see how much fun Shawn can be? Yeah, that's the Shawn I heard about.
What a crazy world, huh? But don't you worry.
You handled that like a prince.
You know why? Because you are the king of dating, and we are all No, we are all gonna have a good time, Shawnie.
No, no.
We're gonna have a good time.
Long night.
Long.
Hey, check this out.
It says here the uterus has accordion-like folds that can expand to accommodate a baby up to 22 pounds.
Man, women are so lucky.
Eric, I'm eating.
It also says here that when a woman breaks her water, she's actually lost her mucus plug.
I'm done.
Procreation, man.
Who knew? Come! Hey! There he is, the man himself.
Hey, Daddy-o.
How cool is it that you and Mom get to go through this again? This baby stuff is so great.
Eric, look, I want your opinion on something.
Look at this, will you? What do you got here, Dad, huh? Cribs, diapers, car seats? You got motorcycles.
That's great, Dad.
I'm trying to bring a new life into the world, and you're picking out a hog.
Yeah, yeah.
Check out this wide glide, here, huh? I'm gonna chrome that baby up, huh? Put on some Vance & Hines pipes, a Mikuni carb, and hit the highway to hell.
How old are you? Forty-one Forty-three.
Don't you see what you're going through? This is your Middle East crisis.
Middle age crisis.
I'm not going through anything.
I just want a Harley.
My dad went through the same thing.
Mmm-hmm, me, too.
He got hair transplants and tried out for The Real World.
I'm not going through anything.
That's exactly what he said right before he smashed up his Ferrari.
Your fathers are silly.
Hey, do I or do I not get ape hangers, huh? Dad Dad Dad Dad, okay, hey! Pull the bike over, pull the bike over.
Dad, can I give you some tough love? I think you're crazy.
You know what? I think we're all pretty sure about what's going on here.
And you know what? It's okay.
Yeah, you're not alone.
It's perfectly natural.
You know something, Dad? He's right.
Because, see, with every day, with every breath, you're one step closer to death.
And you're thinking to yourself, "I haven't lived.
" And you know something Are you trying to cheer me up here? Mr.
Matthews, you don't need a motorcycle to make you feel younger.
You're gonna have a baby.
What could make you feel younger than that? Yeah, for the next 18 years, that little tiger's gonna keep you running day and night.
You know something, Dad? He's absolutely right.
You're not gonna have time for motorcycles and fast cars and nose rings.
You've got this new little life coming into the world that's gonna be counting on you.
Grow up! Grow up? I am grown up.
I'm so grown up I don't know if I can do this again.
Oh, of course you can.
You did a good job two times before.
That's three.
I said what I said.
Well, things are different now.
Why? I'm different.
I'm older.
When you were born, I really looked forward to running around with you, playing baseball and football, and I really looked forward to being more than a father to you.
I looked forward to being your friend, which I think I am.
Of course you are, Dad.
You are my friend, man.
What am I gonna be to this new kid? I'm just gonna be his old man.
That's all I'm gonna be to him.
Just his old man.
You've gotta stop looking at Angela.
I think she's having a good time.
She's just trying to move on with her life.
So should you.
You know what would be fun? They're starting the karaoke contest.
Do you wanna sing? Kelly, I appreciate the offer, but I have a no karaoke policy.
And now let's give a warm Captain Randy's coco-loco welcome to our first contestants, Angela and Ron! Okay, let's pick out a song.
Does he love me, I wanna know How can I tell if he loves me so Is it in his eyes? Oh, no, you'll be deceived Well, is it in his eyes? Oh, no, he'll make believe If you wanna know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss That's where it is Hug him Squeeze him tight And find out what you want to know If it's love, if it really is, it's there in his kiss Well, is it in his eyes? Oh, no, you'll be deceived Well, is it in his eyes? Oh, no, he'll make believe Well, if you wanna know if he loves you so, it's in his kiss That's where it is Oh, yeah, it's in his kiss Cory, are you sure this is the right song for us? Topanga, you heard Angela and Ron.
If we wanna win this, we must sing something dramatic.
I know.
I just don't think this is the right song for us.
You wanna win or not? Yes, I wanna win.
I just don't think that you and I are the right people to express this particular sentiment.
Topanga, it's a beautiful song, and we're gonna sing it.
Hit it, Captain Randy.
War! Huh.
What is it good for? Absolutely nothing.
Say it again.
War! Good God, you all.
This is all a big joke to you, right, Topanga? They say we're young and we don't know We won't find out until we grow Well, I don't know if all that's true 'Cause you've got me, and, baby, I've got you Babe I got you, babe I got you, babe They say our love won't pay the rent Before it's earned, our money's all been spent I guess that's so, we don't have a pot But at least I'm sure of all the things we've got Babe I got you, babe I got you I'm sorry.
I can't do this.
That's okay, Shawn.
Maybe we'll try again another time.
Yeah.
Okay, mommies and daddies.
Everyone should each have a baby.
Now, the first thing we're going to focus on is learning how to burp your newborn.
Now, sit the baby on your knee, and with one hand supporting the chest, gently pat the baby on the back with the other hand.
Miss, mine broke.
Could you give me that head? I know how to burp a baby.
What are we doing here? Now, you can also try the shoulder method.
Supporting the baby's head, lift the baby up to your shoulder.
Oh, my God! What? I think my water broke.
Miss, mine broke! What? My partner.
Her water just broke.
This is real! What do we do? Oh, I don't know.
I'm filling in for my sister.
All I know are burping, diapers, and hee, hee, hee, ho, ho, ho! Okay.
Who knows what to do? Eric, Eric, go get the car.
Bring it around to the front of the building.
Amy, you just ride in the back with Jessica.
Are you okay? Yeah.
All right.
Listen, somebody call St.
Vincent's.
Just tell 'em we'll be there in about five minutes, all right? All right, thank you.
Shawn, first dates after a break-up are always difficult.
It'll get easier.
No, it won't.
Let's face it, there's something wrong with me.
No, there's nothing wrong with you, Shawn.
It's just I mean, you're obviously hurting over Angela, and it's gonna take time.
When you're ready to meet somebody new, you will.
I don't wanna meet somebody new.
I'd screw that up, too.
Guys, it's me.
Look, I already had something great, and I killed it.
I'm never gonna have a relationship like you guys.
I'm not normal.
Well, Shawn, we're not normal.
I mean, we're freaks.
We are.
We're freaks who've loved each other since we were two.
I know.
And being friends with you guys has shown me how great it is to have a relationship.
But I don't know how to do that.
I mean, what if I'm incapable of loving somebody? What if I can't do that? Shawn, that's crazy.
No, it's not.
Not for me.
I don't know.
It's just It's kind of hard being around you two, you know? Shawn, what do you want us to do? Nothing, nothing.
It's not you, it's me.
Cory, for the first time, I've realized how different we really are.
I just need time.
I gotta be alone.
I am alone.
Hey! Hey, we got your message.
Yeah, is everything okay? Oh, everything is more than okay.
She's the mother of a beautiful baby girl.
And she's got this man right here to thank for it.
Eric.
I'm serious, Dad.
You knew just what to do.
Oh, I didn't do anything.
I mean, she was in trouble.
No, I'm not talking about with her.
I'm talking about with me, man.
I was petrified.
You saw me.
I froze there, man, but I'm telling you, you knew what to do, like always.
You're gonna do that for the new baby, too.
Yeah, the very lucky new baby to have a great dad like you.
I hope so.
So, you still getting the Harley? 'Cause I was thinking about borrowing it.
Sorry, Jack.
You can borrow my station wagon.
That's great.
The women are really gonna love that.
So, this mid-life crisis is all about the baby, right? There's never been any question about how much I want the baby, Amy.
I'm just worried about how much the baby's gonna want me.
I'm afraid I'm gonna be too tired to play catch or teach him how to ride a bike.
I'm worried I'm not gonna have enough energy to run around with him the way we did with the other kids.
You think that's what makes you a good father? I mean, yeah, sure, you taught me how to swing a bat, but any Little League coach could do that.
It was more important that you were there for me after I struck out.
You made me feel better.
You were always there for me, man, just to listen to me, to give me advice, you know, and to help me get through stuff, just like you did today.
You're never gonna be too old to do that.
Well, I know I'm never gonna be too old to give my son a hug.
No, you really are.
No Hey, everyone, I propose a toast.
A toast to new babies everywhere.
To new babies everywhere.
And the older ones.
All I'm saying is, you guys should have been there.
It was a miracle.
Ah, man.
I want to have at least five kids.
Five? I want, like, one, maybe two.
You know, I want five.
So do I.
Well, Topanga tells me that she wants to have kids as soon as she gets married.
Wait a minute.
It takes nine months to have a baby.
We're getting married in nine months.
I better go brush my teeth.
Oh War! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again War! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again War! Huh! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again Sing it, Topanga, sing it! I don't like the war War's not good No war! No more war, Topanga I'll tell you why I'm gonna cry We don't like war Not you or you or you Or I Or I I've gotta run 'Cause I don't like war