iCarly s06e12 Episode Script

And this one makes 11 And 12.
I think that's it.
Welp, there ya have it.
One adult diaper can hold This comedy segment was brought to you by The Seattle Apple Council.
And by Pooply's Adult Diapers.
Yeah, we went there.
Okay, next We wanna show you a little cartoon sent into us by a fan of iCarly.
This guy made a cartoon of me, Carly, and Freddie as five year old kids.
So, if you ever wondered what we might have been like when we were five In cartoon form With gigantic heads Then aim your eyeballs at Woo! [ Knocking .]
Carly! Hey, Carly! It's Sam! I'm hungry! Carly! I need food! The fridge is empty! - Sam! - What, Freddie? Did you break Carly's door? No, it was like that when I got here.
Why is the fridge empty? Because the electricity went out last night and all the food spoiled, so Spencer threw it out.
So what am I supposed to eat? Well, you could order a pizza.
Or there's a Chinese place that delivers, but I'm not sure Ah! What happened? Carly! Sam bit my hand off and then she swallowed it.
- Sam! - He said I could! Did not! Oh, I'll never applaud again.
Come here, Sam! One Two Three! - Yay, my hand! - Well, now I'm hungry again! Here, give me your wrist, and I'll glue your hand back on! - There! - Wow! Thanks, Carly! I was worried there for a minute, but now my hand feels as good as Wah! Sam! [ Burps .]
[ Music .]
- Yeah! - Bitty Big Heads! Good toon.
For the record, when I was five, my head was not that large.
And now, we'd like to say a word about [ Drum rolls .]
So, why are we talking about Spaghetti Tacos? - Because Freddie's mother - A terrible woman Came over here a couple of weeks ago And said, "why don't you make Vegetarian Spaghetti Tacos?" For the record, my mother does not speak that way.
- So - To shut Mrs.
Benson up Last week on iCarly dot com, we ran a little contest to see who could come up with the best recipe for Vegetarian Spaghetti Tacos.
And the winner is Mmm.
Okay, that looks nothing like a Spaghetti Taco.
No, it doesn't.
- But hey, I'd eat that.
- I'd eat it twice.
- Okay, that's our show.
- Gotta go.
- Later.
- Bye.
Too close.
And we're clear.
Okay, out.
Come on, shoo! Get outta here! Uh, hey where's my laptop? I dunno.
Did you sell it, and use the money to buy meat? I'm not kidding around.
My laptop's gone.
- Man, this is Jank! - Okay, okay calm down.
I can't! That laptop's the only nice thing I got! It was a Bat Mitzvah gift from my grandmother! You're not even Jewish.
You tell my grandma that and I'll break you.
Shalom! In 5 I know you see.
Somehow the world will change for me.
And be so wonderful.
Live life, breathe air.
I know somehow we're gonna get there.
And feel so wonderful.
It's all for real.
I'm telling you just how I feel.
So wake up the members of my nation.
It's your time to be.
There's no chance unless you take one.
And the time to see the brighter side of every situation.
Some things are meant to be.
So give me your best and leave the rest to me.
Leave it all to me.
(Leave it all to me).
Leave it all to me.
Just leave it all to me.
[ Music .]
- Sam - Sam - Sam - Sam Sam Sam - Why would your laptop be in there - Sam! - Sam! - Oh what?! I know you wanna find your laptop, but you're kind of destroying my home.
I'll clean all this up.
You see, I know that's not true.
Sam.
Hey guys.
I watched iCarly ton Oh my gah! Spencer! I can't find it anywhere! I'm gonna go check Freddie's place.
No no no wait Sam, my door's locked! Just take my key! Don't break my door Ah! What the yuck!? Now I gotta call the door guy.
What did she throw at my beautiful face?! Uh, this.
Your Spud Monkey lunch box.
Aw man, she better not have dented Spud Monkey! This was my lunch box all during fourth and fifth grade Oh man, no way! No way, no way, no way! My tickets from Funk E Fester's! Aw, I used to love going to Funk E Fester's when I was a kid.
Yeah, for the pizza and weiner nuggets.
So? I was a gamer! I won these tickets at Funk E Fester's game-a-torium, during the summer when I was ten years old! How come you never traded in the tickets for a prize? Because I was saving 'em up to win the biggest prize they had.
- Which was? - Murray the Magic Dolphin! He was like this big and I wanted him so bad.
But I couldn't remember where I hid the tickets! 'Til now! Where are you going?! To Funk E Fester's to get my Magic Dolphin! Spencer! Yeah! My laptop's not at Freddie's place either! It's gone! Did you tear my apartment to pieces?! - Yes, and your mother! - What?! You might wanna get over there with some band-aids and a mop.
- Oh man! - Freddie! Mom! Will you come with me to the smoothie to look for my laptop?! Yeah, sure.
Just lemme go to the bathroom real quick, wash my face No, no, Sam, Sam, you don't have to carry me.
Sam! No, put me down! Put me down, Sam! Ow, my head! [ Music .]
Listen up people! I had a red Pearbook laptop in here yesterday, and I wanna know where it is! All right, in ten seconds I'm gonna start breaking heads! One Let's get out of here! Two Three What in the Hey! Puckett! Get down off that table right now! Off it! What's the matter with you?! Harassing people Tearing up my Smootherie Sorry T-Bo.
She lost her laptop.
It was stolen! Someone horked it! Don't you say "horked" in here! Okay, it's all over! Everybody gets one percent off a bag of chips! Okay, you're way too worked up about this.
I I can't help it! It's just that laptop was the best thing I ever had That I didn't eat.
Well, you had all your data backed up on an external hard drive, right? Yeah, sure Freddie, like people really do that.
You didn't back anything up on that cloud thing? No one knows how to use that cloud thing! Hey, I think we might be able to use Pear Mobile To find my laptop?! Well, I'm not sure we can find it But, if you give me the serial number, I can access your laptop's camera.
And then we could see whoever stole her laptop? Yeah, should be able to if they're using it.
Do you think you can find the serial number I'll find it! Aah! [ Music .]
Well.
Hello Todd.
Can I help you? Yup! I'd like to have That large, Magic Dolphin, please.
You need a thousand game points to win that.
Well, take a look inside my Spud Monkey lunch box.
Oh.
Oh.
These tickets are fifteen years old.
- So?! - So we don't use 'em anymore.
We use electronic points now.
But, I won these tickets here! They're worth almost a thousand game points! They're worth nothing! Okay.
Okay, fine.
I'll just go in that game room right now and win another thousand game points! Hey! Spud Monkey! No adults allowed in the game room without a kid.
But I don't have a kid! I'm not even dating anyone! No surprise there.
- W'jah - Get out! Out! - You can't - Ah! Ah! [ Music .]
I wonder what Gibby's doing upstairs with Guppy.
I think playing a game or something.
So, you really think you're gonna be able to turn on Sam's laptop camera? Yeah, if she can find the serial number in her files.
Pfft.
Sam doesn't have files.
She has piles.
I have had it.
Had it! What's your problem? Guppy.
I hate babysitting.
Oh, come on Guppy's adorable.
No, he's not.
I've had it down to there with that kid! - What's Guppy doing upstairs? - Ah, we're playing hide and go seek.
- So he's hiding? - Yeah.
I'll seek in a few hours.
I got it! Right here baby! - You found the serial number? - Shore did.
H'yah.
You wrote your laptop's serial number down on a marshmallow? I didn't have paper.
Now just do your tech-nerd-thing, would ya? - Activate her laptop camera.
- All right, all right Hey.
Could you guys keep it down in here? I'm depressed.
Oh, Spencer.
Don't you think you're kinda overreacting to this whole Funk E Fester's thing? No! They won't take my tickets and they refuse to let me play any games there unless I have a little kid with me! Well, maybe you don't need a giant Magic Dolphin.
Yes, I do, too! It's not fair that What is that? Dang it! Ah! Open this box! Lemme out of here! It's hot in this box! Well, I didn't tell you to hide in there, did I? Okay.
You're the worst babysitter ever! Well I'm all you got, aren't I? Wait! Guppy, you wanna come hang with me for the rest of the day? - I don't care.
- Good, come on! Happy Birthday! It's no one's birthday! You're such a downer! Yeah! Ya know, you could be nicer to Guppy.
Hey, you have no idea what a pain he can be.
Last night I caught him marking his territory! Hey! Hey hey hey, I got it! - You found Sam's laptop?! - Oh, where is it?! Hang on I'm turning on the laptop's camera right now.
- Oh, this is so exciting! - It really is.
Just show me the wazz bag who stole my laptop.
Here we go There's your wazz bag.
That old lady stole your laptop? I'm gonna juice that old prune.
[ Music .]
I'm on the computer right now And I can see, it says Oh, oh, oh.
I can buy thirty large sponges, for just seven ninety-nine.
Oh my gosh, can you believe this?! No.
They can't be quality sponges.
[ Bell dings .]
Hi! Hey! What's that for? Writing down clues.
See, we keep watching that lady, and every time she says anything about where she is.
We write it down on this board, then eventually You'll shut up? Eventually, we'll have enough clues to figure out where she lives.
Hey.
I'm steaming some artichokes.
How do you guys like yours cooked? Soft? Firm? Ya like a firm artichoke? Yeah, ya like 'em rubbed with garlic? We don't care what you rub the artichokes with! I see.
Hey shh, listen No no, you can't come over here right now.
There's a big fire on the corner, and they've blocked off all of Marshall Square.
Marshall Square! Okay, we know that thief is somewhere near Marshall Square! Our first clue.
Yes.
Hey Why are you rubbing that artichoke with your shoe? Oh.
I thought you didn't care.
[ Music .]
Hello Todd.
I told you, Spud Monkey You can't enter the game room unless you're with a kid.
Oh! Well, then it's a good thing I brought this This! Guppy! Happy Birthday! Aw, jeez.
I had him wait outside so he could make a dramatic entrance.
Boo! Who is that kid? My little sister's weird friend's weirder little brother.
Like you're normal.
Hey! If ya need me, I'll be in there, racking up game points, so I can win Murray the Magic Dolphin.
Later, Todd.
I gotta pee.
You can pee in the ball pit! Yes! [ Music .]
How long has she been sleeping? Two-and-a-half hours.
Are we sure she's still alive? Can't you hear her snoring? Uh-oh - Huh? - What? Uh she's drooling.
- Oh.
- So gross.
Ewe, so's Gibby.
Ugh.
[ Music .]
If I had a choice Of watching one more minute of this prehistoric old lady Or licking the floor of a gas station bathroom Take me to the gas station.
Hey She's picking up her phone.
- Wee.
- Moo.
Hello, is this the doorman downstairs? My pharmacy is sending over some pills.
When they get here, would you please bring them up to my apartment? Yes, I'm in seventeen-b.
Seventeen-b! Yeah! Now we know her apartment number! What are you doing?! She lives in an apartment on the seventeenth floor.
Yeah? But we still don't have her address.
But we know she lives in a building that has at least seventeen floors.
And that she buys sponges.
Anyway, I think there's only one building near Marshall Square that's tall enough to Yes! I got it! She lives in Whitman Tower! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yes! All right, momma's gonna get her laptop back! - Woo! - All right! - I'll call the cops! - No.
I want this one.
[ Music .]
Okay okay, Funk E Fester's is closing! Everyone out! - Aw.
- Boo.
Guppy, what time is it?! Nine fifty-nine! Sorry Todd, I can keep playing 'til ten o'clock.
Give it up, Spud Monkey! No! I need a thousand points to win my prize! You're not gonna make it! I am not going home without my big Magic Dolphin! Ten seconds He's at nine ninety-two! Seven! Six! Five! Four! Three! Two [ Music .]
Yes! One thousand points! Be right back, Todd! Yeah! Woo! Come on Guppy, let's go get massages! Happy Birthday! Aw geez.
[ Music .]
This is great.
Your kids can help you with this.
Everybody Oh! Oh! Good heavens! Wh-wh-wh-what are you teenagers doing in my apartment?! I've come to take back what's mine.
Are you my kidney donor?! I still need this kidney! My other one shriveled! - We don't want your kidney.
- We want her laptop.
What are you talking about?! Oh I think you know.
Ow! Oh! I'm gonna wait in the lobby.
- Hey - What? This is a blue Pearbook.
I thought yours was red.
Mine is red.
Carly, take out the marshmallow with the serial number Sam wrote down.
- 'Kay - I'm calling the police.
- Don't move.
- Oh! - Ready? - Yeah go.
- Seven one two - Seven one two - Five eight one - Five eight one - Six two nine - Six two Four.
Sometimes my nines look like fours.
This is a four! You gave us the wrong serial number! And made us spend eleven hours watching an innocent, boring old lady! Boring? I meant boring in the good way.
Well, the good news you can keep your kidney.
Let's go.
I'm I'm so sorry.
Ah! You uh you might wanna call a door guy.
Oh, skunk bags! - Hey.
- 'Sup.
Hey! Look at my dolphin! We're not in the mood.
Sam's laptop is gone forever.
Aw, that's suckish.
Yeah.
You got any food? Just the old clam pizza you left in the fridge three days ago.
- Good enough.
- Oh.
- You got him! - Yeah! The best prize Funk E Fester's has.
I like it.
You'll not believe the guy that works there Hey, where are you going? Nothing.