9-1-1 (2018) s06e13 Episode Script

1
("New Sensation" by INXS playing)
Come on, let's get those heart rates up.
(cheering)
You showed up today.
Let's make it count!
Now that the day is over ♪
Whoo!
Looking at you, front row.
No joyriding today.
Come on, people. I want to feel you.
Don't give me something,
give me everything.
Give it your all!
I'm all out.
Come on, Shar.
You said you'd support me
on my fitness journey.
Journey to where?
I feel like I'm gonna croak.
Keep hydrating.
CAM: And remember,
if you can't make it burn,
you can't make it firm.
Dig deep.
We're more than halfway there. Let's go.
Get those booties up.
This is why we call it a boot camp.
(panting)
That's it. Give me some bounce.
And promises ♪
(all panting)
Come on, now. Who wants a taut tummy?
(all cheering)
Who wants a new lease on life?
- (all whooping)
- A new sensation ♪
(panting)
(voice breaking):
Who wants to be the new
sensa
(panting)
I'm gonna just
You You keep pushing!
(groaning)
(others gasping, screaming)
WOMAN: Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
BOBBY: LAFD. Make room, everybody.
GIA: He's over here.
He went down in the middle of class.
He's breathing,
but we couldn't get him to wake up.
- Okay, Chim?
- CHIMNEY: On it.
HEN: That ankle is
definitely sprained or broken.
That happen before
or after he passed out?
After. Something was wrong with him.
Maybe it's that thing that happens,
when your thighs poison you?
- Rhabdomyolysis?
- We see a lot of it.
Muscle tissue breaks down
and releases protein
into the bloodstream.
I feel like my thighs have been
poisoning me my whole life.
BP is elevated. 145/97.
He's tachycardic, with a pulse of 132,
but I don't think
he's having a heart attack.
Could be physical exertion.
He was going pretty hard
when this happened?
Yeah, it came on suddenly.
His lips and skin look dry.
Could be severe dehydration.
Starting a line
and running a bolus of saline.
Over here, guys.
Dehydration?
That doesn't make any sense.
Everyone's been hydrating
this whole time.
- And that's water?
- It's better than water.
It's Cam Lewis's Taut Tummy Tea.
SHAR: They did a pretty hard
sell on it when we first signed up
- for the class.
- Uh-huh.
(grunts) I feel like I'm on fire!
You're okay. We're just flushing
your system with saline.
Try to relax.
SHAR: Are you okay?
Ma'am? Ma'am Oh!
- (gasping)
- What's happening?
Here, let's get her down, nice and easy.
WOMAN: Something in the tea.
- You got her head?
- Whoa!
- (screams)
- EDDIE: Dehydration,
flushed skin, probably tachycardic.
CHIMNEY: Whoa, whoa.
Hey, we got another one.
All right. Dispatch,
this is Captain Nash, 118.
I'm at 625 Beverly, we're gonna need
additional paramedic units.
We have multiple victims
who are suffering from tachycardia,
dehydration and fainting.
This Tummy Tea, what's in it?
Uh, 50 milligrams of B-3
per serving, and magnesium.
Uh, how much of this did she drink?
A packet has two servings.
BUCK: Okay, so that's 100 milligrams.
A woman her size should be
having 14 milligrams.
So she's taking in 7.13 more
times than the daily allowance.
Did he just do math? In his head?
I think so.
Uh, was I, was I right?
You were.
And given that amount of B-3,
I think we're looking
at acute niacin toxicity.
- Hydration all around?
- (cups clatter)
- WOMAN: Oh!
- Immediately.
Nothing like plain old water.
BOBBY: Yeah.
Everything old is new again.
(door opens, closes)
(exhales, sniffles)
ATHENA: Well. Did you win the race?
- (sighs) Just barely.
- (chuckles)
I'm used to you doing
your workouts at the firehouse.
Well, I used to run more
before I hurt my back.
Some 10Ks and stuff, but, uh
Wendall was always
trying to get me out there.
Said it'd be good way for me
to connect with the world.
I thought it would be a good way
to remember him.
Well, the next time you're out
there running through the world,
- you should invite me along.
- Really?
Well, I didn't know
that you liked to run.
Oh. I used to do it in high school.
- I thought you were a cheerleader.
- (scoffs)
I also ran cross-country.
Well, you still manage to surprise me.
Mm-hmm. Mm, mm, mm.
Why don't you find a way to surprise me
after you take a shower.
What you don't
You don't want some of this?
Uh-uh. Uh-uh.
(door opens)
- Whew. (chuckles)
- (door closes)
Hey.
- Hey.
- I heard you guys
- had quite the morning.
- (sighs)
I missed the bus,
then Mama's car wouldn't start
on the one day Mom's in Barstow
for a meeting.
Well, when it rains, it pours,
am I right?
I should probably tell
your ma that I'm here.
Oh, I'm not sure
you want to go in there.
Right.
Thanks for the warning.
I heard your dad was in town.
Yeah, he was.
But he has gone back
to Korea, thankfully.
You didn't like having him here?
It's not that exactly,
it's just complicated.
Because you and your dad
don't really get along.
I heard my moms talking about it.
- Right.
- But what happened?
Why is it so complicated?
I mean, it's your dad.
Yeah, he's my dad.
Parents aren't perfect, you know?
They're just regular people
who make mistakes,
and sometimes they hurt you
even if they don't mean to.
I guess I'd be pretty mad
if my dad hurt me.
I mean, if I knew him.
Right.
But you know, being mad at
someone for most of your life,
it's pretty exhausting, and I was tired
carrying all that around.
So you forgave him?
I made my peace
and I let myself move on.
You did what you needed to.
For yourself.
That's right.
Sometimes you got to take care
of yourself first.
You know, you're a pretty smart kid.
- Hey.
- (Hen scoffs)
- W-When did you get here?
- Just now.
You know, we're pretty late
already, so you should
probably just say thank you
and get in the car, Hen.
(exhales): Thank you.
Come on, let's go.
Come on.
CHRISTOPHER:
What's the square root of 162?
Well, it's not a perfect square.
So that would be 12.727, I think.
That's right. This is awesome, Dad.
- Buck knows everything.
- Yeah, yeah.
Not everything.
I-I think it's just math stuff.
Today, on the way to work,
I was able to calculate
exactly how many gallons of gas
I needed to get myself to the firehouse.
- Why not just fill it up?
- Because figuring it out was more fun.
Turns out, I love math.
Well, according to this,
people can get new cognitive abilities
after a serious injury
to the central nervous system.
- Ooh, which I-I definitely had.
- Mm.
But some doctors are saying
it's not a real thing.
Uh, you-you think I've secretly
known the square root of 162
all these years
and just been holding out?
No, come on.
It-it has to be the lightning.
Fair point.
This guy literally got
the power of electricity
after being struck.
Said the lights would turn on and off
every time he walked into a room.
- Cool.
- Yeah.
Didn't last. Only lasted a few weeks.
I wish I got something like that.
You know, ESP, or
maybe the ability to see into the future
or read people's minds.
EDDIE: Mm
Those sound like
horrible powers to have.
Maybe this is just the first phase.
Maybe you'll get more powers
the stronger you get.
Yes, like an actual superhero.
You did get stuck by lightning.
- Classic origin story.
- So, what are you gonna do
- with your newfound superpowers?
- Ooh.
He could give me the answers
to my math homework.
Uh-uh.
- Uh-uh-uh-uh.
- (chuckles)
You're never gonna learn
if he gives you the answers.
I'm the guy with the answers.
I kind of like it. (chuckles)
(exhales): Okay.
Purse. Ooh.
Keys.
(gasps) Hi, there.
- Hi.
- (phone ringing)
Oh. One sec.
Phone. Uhp.
Hey, Josh. Yeah, I'm sorry.
I'm running late. The struggle
was real getting Jee
out of the house this morning.
Do I have the what? Oh, yes.
The book. I have it.
Okay, see you soon.
- Well, hi. Do we know each other?
- Hi.
I'm Carol Sykes. I live two doors down.
Blue house, pink mailbox. (chuckles)
I'm sorry we haven't met yet.
I was out of town.
I just got back and heard
the news that someone
had moved into the house.
I had to see who it was.
- Well, now is not a good time.
- The place looks incredible.
I love that you kept
the original detail.
- Thank you.
- And I'm sorry you're in a rush,
'cause I brought muffins.
They're my grandma's old recipe.
Yeah, that is, that is too bad, but
Oh! You have a little one. How old?
- Uh, two.
- My Brent is three.
I should bring him for a playdate.
Here. You take this.
I'll give you my number,
and we will get it on the books.
- Yeah, sure. (chuckles)
- Okay?
- There you go.
- Thank you.
Oh, no, you hold on to those.
You'll thank me later.
- Okay? Okay.
- Yep.
- Got to go.
- All right, got to got to go.
(laughs) Bye-bye!
- Bye!
- Bye-bye.
(exhales)
♪
"Ingrid Jones," "Sanford Tills"
Whoa. "Howard Han,"
do you know that you can cut
your monthly cable bill in half
by switching to satellite?
- Yes, but only for the first year.
- Oh.
Okay, so most of this
is not ours or junk mail,
and I've reached out to the post
office five times to no avail.
Well, maybe it requires
a personal touch.
Just leave it all in the box
and I'll take it myself
- when I get a chance.
- Yeah.
Speaking of things that are not
ours, where did this come from?
That belongs to Carol.
- Carol?
- Mm-hmm.
Two doors down.
"Blue house, pink mailbox."
- Never heard of her.
- She came by to say hello
and brought some muffins.
- Hmm.
- So I took them to work.
So, what do we think of this Carol?
She's odd, kind of pushy,
and really wants me
to have coffee with her.
Seems like maybe she doesn't
have a lot of friends.
- You feel bad for her?
- A little.
You know what, I'm just gonna
take this dish back
and I'm gonna say thank you,
- to Carol.
- All right.
(knocking on door)
Hi. Can I help you?
Oh, hi. I'm looking for Carol.
I have her pan and I just
wanted to give it back to her.
I'm Carol, but that's not my pan.
Oh, uh
Maybe I have the-the wrong house.
I'm looking for Carol Sykes.
That's me, but that's still not my pan.
BOBBY: So Carol's not Carol?
No. Real Carol has lived in that house
for the past three years
with her husband Bill. No kids.
And none of these neighbors
know who this woman really is?
Truthfully, most of the
neighbors don't know who we are.
- A friendly bunch, huh?
- Real Carol
said they've had a lot of house flippers
on the block,
so they tend to wait six months
to a year to see if people stay.
Did this imposter
ever take anything or ask for any money?
No.
But she did mention a playdate
with her kid and Jee-Yun.
(sighs) Great.
Another thing I have to worry about.
I'm thinking
maybe she was casing the joint,
looking around, seeing what was
there so she could come back later.
So much more comforting.
Though why bring muffins
and leave a dish behind?
She left a dish behind?
There could be fingerprints.
I don't think that would survive
going through the dishwasher.
Eh. Well, I guess the only thing
left to do is call
somebody in law enforcement.
Perhaps you and "law enforcement"
could come over to our place for dinner?
We could put our heads together
and try and crack the case?
We would love to.
535,694
- point-three-eight.
- Man.
- Okay. Come on, pay up. Let me see it.
- Yeah.
BUCK: Let's go. Thank you.
- Woo-hoo!
- Easy money.
- Yeah.
- A fool and his money are soon
- parted.
- (stammers)
Could be plenty more to come.
I'm a savant now.
I guess "savant"
means "idiot" in French.
(Bobby chuckles)
(FaceTime ringing)
Uh
- Hi, Mom.
- Hey, Ms. G!
Hey, Makela.
Cherie, you doing okay, sweet pea?
I noticed you left your allergy pill
on the dresser, and 'tis
the season for postnasal drip.
And you know what postnasal drip means.
Mom.
(sighs) Did you bring your umbrella?
It's supposed to rain later
today, and you know
Mom, I-I'm fine.
I'll see you when I get home.
I'm gonna be late for class.
All right. I love you.
- (sighs) Love you, too.
- (ends call)
- Maybe I should've told her the truth.
- You're 15 years old
and never been to the mall
without your mom.
That's cuckoo bananas.
You said it yourself She
smothers you more than your asthma.
You deserve this.
You're right.
I do deserve this. Let's get fire cuts.
Hell yes! (laughs)
("Devils Haircut" by Beck playing)
Something's wrong
'cause my mind is fading ♪
And everywhere I look ♪
There's a dead end waiting ♪
Temperature's dropping
at the rotten oasis ♪
Stealing kisses ♪
What's up, Reniacs?
Back atcha today with
another fire cut.
(air horns sound effect)
Today we've got two of them with
Hanging from the garbageman trees ♪
Uh, I'm Cherie.
I'm Makela.
You can follow me at MKForSure.
Cherie and Makela won my
DM challenge the other day
and are about to get slayed
by yours truly.
Cherie, you're up first.
Now
what kind of cut do you want?
CHERIE: Um just trim the ends.
RENNIE: Okay then.
You know what time it is.
Scissors?
(clanging)
- Where? (laughs)
- Damn it, Rennie!
RENNIE: We're gonna start by treating
the hair with my patented conditioner
available at the link in my bio.
What this does is repairs dead ends,
heals hair shafts
and protects the hair
from any heat damage
- from the torch.
- But Yeah?
- RENNIE: All right.
- Wait!
Boo, I told you,
it's gonna be fine. 'Kay?
Okay, baby,
I'm gonna need you to sit still.
- (chuckles) All right.
- (screams)
(gasping)
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- (gasping)
(screams) No!
(screaming)
Okay, dispatch said the fire's out,
but there was a lot of smoke.
People panicked.
So we've got some slip-and-fall injuries
and one person with an allergic
reaction of some kind.
CHIMNEY:
So this guy cuts hair with fire?
(chuckles): Oh, yeah.
It's actually pretty cool.
He's the "Scissors, where?" guy.
Think I figured out
where the scissors are.
- MAKELA: Over here!
- BOBBY: There's our allergic reaction.
Right over there. Sir,
you doing okay? Can you get up?
Take a seat over there. We'll
have somebody check you out.
Hang in there.
You're gonna be all right.
Heart rate is 120. BP's 139/85.
Her breath sounds
are diminished with wheezing.
Was she burned or did she inhale
a lot of smoke?
Uh, no, it's the water. She's allergic.
You don't see that every day.
What is that called?
It's aquagenic urticaria.
It's rare, but it usually
affects girls in this age group.
Pressure from the sprinklers
probably made it worse.
Let's try to get her dried off.
- I'll start a line.
- EVELYN: Cherie!
Cherie. What are you doing in here?
- You're supposed to be in school.
- I'm (exhales)
sorry, Mom. I (labored breathing)
just wanted to do something
on my own.
(labored breathing)
Is she going to be okay?
She's stable. You can ride along.
Maybe this wouldn't
have happened if she felt
- like she could talk to me.
- You can't do that to yourself.
Kids are utterly unpredictable
when they're trying to figure
out who they are.
The best we can do is show up
for them when they need us.
Come on.
What do you mean
Denny wasn't on the bus?
They dropped off 20 minutes ago.
- He wasn't on it.
- Okay, well, is there
some after-school thing that we
forgot to put on the calendar?
Hen, I called his friends.
They said he hasn't been taking
the bus home from school in months.
Then how's he been getting home then?
Hen. Hen.
Wh
Wh Denny!
- Mama?
- (gasps)
Oh, my God. Oh.
Karen, he's here.
- I got him.
- He's where?
I'll call you back.
What happened?
They were driving through an
intersection, and someone ran the light.
Uh, hit the driver's side pretty
hard. Your son seems fine,
but your husband might need surgery.
My what?
Uh
I'm sorry. Just assumed.
He said that man was his father.
Oh. Thank God you're okay.
- He's okay, right?
- (door closes)
Doctor says he's fine.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Sir, hey, have a seat.
You have a lot of explaining to do.
KAREN: What would possess you
to do something like this?
Well?
I just wanted to meet my dad.
(scoffs) When did this start?
A few months ago.
A few months ago?
I don't see what the big deal
is. We weren't doing
- anything wrong.
- KAREN: You don't see
how lying about your
whereabouts and going
God knows where is a problem?
- We were just hanging out at the park.
- HEN: Mm.
This is why you were
so suddenly interested
in baseball, isn't it?
It was fun. He's fun.
Do you understand
how completely irresponsible this is?
How are we supposed to trust you?
We create boundaries
for a reason. To protect you.
You don't have to protect me
from my own father.
Whom you didn't even know
before a few months ago.
He's essentially a stranger.
He's not a stranger.
Uh-huh. (scoffs)
Listen, Denny,
we want what's best for you.
You have to trust that, as your parents,
we know what that looks like.
Right, because it's
always about what you want.
What about what I want?!
My dad could be dead,
and you don't even care!
(scoffs)
(door closes)
Hey. Glad you guys could make it.
BOBBY: Thanks for having us over.
I'm dying to see the house.
Yeah. Seems like a lot of
people feel the same way.
The phone number she left
is operational.
But it's a burner phone.
Which means we can't track it
or have any idea who owns it.
I just don't understand what she wants.
What criminal shows up with muffins
- and leaves a phone number?
- (chuckles) There are
definitely scams
where people come to the door
and pretend to be your neighbor.
They usually ask for money.
Say that the car broke down
or it was towed
and they need cash.
That works?
Sometimes.
I mean, there's usually
a sob story that goes with it
that catches people off guard.
I mean, they ask for
small amounts, maybe 50 bucks,
so people are more likely
to give it to them.
But she didn't ask me for anything.
Except my time.
It could be that she's casing the place
for a future robbery.
Right, but it's not like we're
dripping in antiques or jewels here.
But you can't know that
until you case the place.
MADDIE: It did seem like
she was looking for something,
but I just thought
she was being nosy. Now
The whole thing just has us
a little unsettled.
MADDIE: I just don't like feeling
uncomfortable in my own home,
like somebody's watching us.
There's got to be a way to
figure out who she is, right?
ATHENA: Mm. There could be.
But I'm not sure it's gonna help
your comfort level.
Once much longer. ♪
So what's with the fancy dress code?
It's a nice place. (exhales)
(exhales sharply)
Wait, wait. H-Hey,
a-are we sure about this?
Relax. It's a good place
to put your new skills to use.
Then maybe we can
put 'em to use in Vegas.
Uh, this is not gonna end well.
(sighs)
It's a low-stakes game.
- BUCK: Rosen.
- Don't make me regret this, Diaz.
Uh
(sighs)
Diaz.
Uh, hey, this isn't some kind
of mob establishment, is it?
It's a different kind of family.
♪
WILLIAMS: Ah.
The one and only 118
makes its presence known.
EDDIE: Chief Williams.
Captain Mehta.
MEHTA: Have a seat.
You make it sound like our house
has never been here before, Chief.
Mm. Not used to having three of you.
And we've got
an honest-to-goodness legend tonight.
You know, I still can't believe
you survived that, Buckley.
Uh, although we're all glad
that you did.
- Thank you.
- WILLIAMS: Let's see
if he survives tonight.
♪
So, three minutes, huh?
- Uh, what's that?
- That's how long you were dead?
- Three minutes and 17 seconds.
- Did you see anything?
Bright light?
No, I saw that while I
was still on the ladder.
WILLIAMS: Bet's to you, Jeshan.
I'll go in for three.
Why not?
- I'm in this far.
- EDDIE: Sure.
I'll raise you two.
BUCK: Sure. Why not?
Call.
EDDIE: All right.
Two pair. Nines and fours.
Two pair. Queens high.
Straight.
(exhales)
To the seven.
♪
(chuckles)
Red ones are two, right? Uh
I'm in for four.
Okay. And I will raise you
three.
WILLIAMS: I've heard people
that get struck by lightning
sometimes develop special skills.
Uh Skills? Like, uh
like what? Woodworking?
High-functioning stuff, like languages
or music. Or math.
You know, like counting.
I'm out. Too rich for my blood.
ROSEN: I've worked with Buckley.
Math is not his thing.
MEHTA: And now we arrive at the river.
- Bets.
- Could you be more eager, Jeshan?
Three.
MEHTA: I will see your three
and raise you three.
Of course you will.
Two pair, kings and nines.
Full house
- sixes over fives.
- Imagine that.
Work hard, play hard,
work hard, play hard ♪
Diamonds all on my ring, player ♪
Gold watches, gold chain, player ♪
Hundred thou' on champagne, player ♪
Yeah, my money insane, player ♪
Yeah, I'm making it rain, player ♪
But I was just on the plane, player ♪
Buying gear, flying here ♪
It ain't what you heard,
it's my time of year ♪
If I'm in the club,
I get a hundred stacks ♪
I'm always rolling up,
so I get love for that ♪
I heard he stole my swag
but I don't want it back ♪
I was on this but now I'm onto that ♪
You see it in my closet
before it's on the rack ♪
Was out there in Hawaii,
now I'm goin' back ♪
I got so much money
I should start a bank ♪
So much paper right in front
of me it's hard to think ♪
Buy so many bottles
it's gon' be hard to drink ♪
But I'm still pourin' up
and my family here ♪
And they rolling up, so ♪
Work, work, work ♪
Work, work, work, work ♪
Used to buy rounds
but now we buy the bar ♪
Last year they had to ask
now they know who we are ♪
Boss it, walk in
the building, I own it ♪
Ah
Looks like quite a haul, Buckley.
Uh, yeah.
Wow.
So, how do you want your winnings?
Work hard, play hard,
work hard, play hard ♪
Work hard, play ♪
WILLIAMS: Send Captain Nash my regards.
Along with your winnings.
Oh, I guess you were right, Eddie.
Low steaks.
His humor was unaffected
by the lightning.
Uh, Diaz, you are always welcome here.
But leave the human calculator
at the firehouse.
At least until his lightning
superpowers wear off.
- Uh, Chief
- Mm-mmm.
Think she noticed.
(laughs softly)
- You read my mind.
- Hmm.
Well, there's more where this came from,
and we're gonna need it.
- What did the hospital say?
- Nathaniel got out of surgery.
Sounds like it went well.
Oh. That's good.
(laughs) I mean,
however mad we are at the man,
I'm pretty sure we don't want him dead.
I'm more concerned with Denny.
He didn't eat a bite at dinner.
Yeah, he barely looked at us.
Imagine being upset with other
people for lies that you told.
I can.
I remember being furious
with my parents for discovering
that I lied about my grade
on an algebra test
so I could go to a party.
(chuckles) I just had to be there
'cause this girl
I was crushing on was there.
(chuckles)
And I don't even remember her name.
(laughs softly)
How did we get here, Karen?
I thought that once we answered
all his questions about Eva,
- that this was settled.
- We forgot
the other half
of the equation. Nathaniel.
Though I don't understand
why he didn't come to us.
I mean, he's the adult.
He should have known better than this.
All these months, Denny just
lying to our faces.
Running around behind our backs.
I don't like this feeling.
(knocking on door)
Oh
- Oh.
- Hi.
Mm.
Where's my grandson?
In his room, on a hunger strike.
We're entering a whole
'nother phase of parenthood, Ma,
and it feels like nothing
we've experienced before.
It feels like we're being
run over by a freight train.
I swear, I've never met
a kid so stubborn.
Oh, I have. You're married to her.
(laughs)
But don't worry.
You're in luck.
I happen to be
a stubborn child whisperer.
(knocking on door)
TONI: Honey? It's Grammie.
I come in peace
and I have snacks.
Come in.
Figured you might be a little hungry.
I heard you haven't been eating much.
PB and J, no crust.
And a strawberry milk.
Thanks, Grammie.
I'm sorry about your father.
You know, your moms love you
very much.
But sometimes, when we love somebody,
we can hold on a little too tight.
Especially when they're our children.
They hate me, don't they?
Honey, hate is a very strong word.
Are they upset?
Yeah.
Disappointed?
Absolutely.
But I also think
they're a little scared.
Of what?
Of you getting hurt.
Losing you.
My dad wouldn't hurt me.
He loves me, just like they do.
Well, I think that's something
they're gonna have to see
for themselves, in time.
All I wanted was to know my dad.
Oh, honey.
I know.
And I think they do, too.
There's nothing wrong
with you wanting to know your dad.
We just have to go about this
the right way.
Oh, thank goodness. Please, come in.
I was afraid they wouldn't send anyone.
HEN: You told dispatch
- your wife was injured?
- She's, uh This way.
RALPH: I wanted to take her to the ER,
- but every time I tried to move her
- (moans)
Oh, no. You called 911?
- I told you I was going to.
- I told you not to.
I wasn't gonna let you die on the couch.
Better than dying from embarrassment.
Hi, I'm Hen. What's your name?
- Patsy.
- Okay, Patsy.
Can you describe the pain for me?
It's kind of a stabbing,
uh, combined with some shooting.
Gets worse when I mo Aah!
- Move.
- (buzzing)
W-What is that buzzing?
I-I swear to God,
I don't know how it happened.
We were having a romantic evening,
- and then..
- (Patsy grunting)
Okay. O-Okay, Patsy.
I'm gonna have you lie back here
so I can figure out what's going on.
(buzzing continuing)
The buzzing's coming from
- inside the house.
- Uh
EDDIE: I get you were having
a romantic evening, sir, but
what exactly were you doing
when the pain started?
We were, um, you know, being intimate?
EDDIE: Just the two of you?
Uh, the old-fashioned way?
RALPH: I may have
purchased something newfangled
to, uh, increase her pleasure.
- Yeah, l-like-like a
- (screams)
- (Patsy moaning)
- RALPH: Yes.
Yeah, we were having a really good time.
She seemed happy, so I was happy.
And then I kind of lost it.
That's when the screaming started.
I think it's moved into her bladder.
I'll get the morphine.
My bladder? Can you get it out?
Afraid we can't do that on this couch.
We're gonna need to get you to the ER.
And tell this humiliating story
to new people. Great.
If it makes you feel any better,
they've all heard it before.
Thank you.
- It doesn't.
- RALPH: I'm so sorry, honey.
I just wanted to make sure
you were happy.
So, this could happen to anyone?
Uh, well, um
Listen, uh, t-they probably sell
50 million of these every single year.
You know, h-half as many people
buy blenders,
and there's 7,000 blender
accidents a year, so
the probability of
a-an accident like yours is
0.03%.
Oh, God.
I just read this article.
"Is your partner
less satisfied than you think?"
They said 80% are not satisfied.
I've only ever been with Patsy.
They did not seem
like good numbers for me.
For you? F-For anyone.
Uh, boy, if I do the math
on all the women I've been with,
that's wow.
EDDIE: Buck?
- Let's move her.
- Uh, oh.
I'll grab the gurney.
(moans)
- (metal thuds)
- (shouts)
It's gonna be a long ride to the ER.
Let's try to avoid potholes.
(Patsy groans)
No, no, I-I did want to call you sooner.
I-I thought I'd lost your number,
and then I-I found it again.
I think I got a new phone.
But I just wanted to check with you
You think he's gonna call every
woman he's ever slept with?
(laughs) Uh, assuming
that he remembers their names.
- (chuckles)
- (phone chimes)
Everything okay?
I guess Nathaniel's doing better.
He's ready for visitors.
(sighs) I don't envy that conversation.
You figure out what
you're gonna say yet?
"I'm glad you're not dead.
What the hell were you thinking?"
(chuckles) Sounds like
a good place to start.
Carol, hi.
- Glad you could make it.
- I was so glad to get your call.
- This is my son Brent.
- Hi, Brent.
- Nice to meet you.
- It's a nice day out.
Maybe the kids could play
out in the courtyard.
Oh, where's your daughter?
Oh, she's still napping.
She went down late.
Oh, not a problem.
We don't mind waiting,
do we, Brenty?
He's so excited to meet her.
Yeah, it's nicer when they have
friends in the neighborhood.
Unfortunately, I feel like
I don't know anyone.
You're not missing much.
They're a tough bunch.
Very judgy.
- Uh, do I smell cinnamon rolls?
- You do. (laughs)
I should probably go and check
on them and my daughter.
Can you guys just entertain
yourselves for a few minutes?
Oh, no problem. I'm sure
we can find something to do
while you're gone.
(mouthing)
Hey, Maddie?
I'm gonna run home.
Brent's not feeling well.
MADDIE: Oh, if you just hang
on a sec, I can walk you out.
Oh, I'm fine. I know the way.
(gasps)
You need a hand with all that?
So this was all about mail?
Coupons, actually.
Carol's real name is Rhonda Fitzsimmons,
and she's a coupon forger.
A what?
She forges coupons
and sells them online.
Mm-hmm. Deep discounts on hot items.
Bargain hunters can't resist.
Even if the deals seem
a little too good to be true.
I'm guessing that's a cash business.
Money orders.
Mailed to your address.
Wha How did she pick us?
Well, she actually did live
in the house down the street.
But she sold it to Carol
to pay for her legal fees
the last time she was arrested
for fraud and forgery.
Just got out of prison a month ago.
And decided to start up
the old hustle again.
But why did she send the mail here?
She didn't want to take the risk
of having the money
mailed to her own home.
That's how she got caught the last time.
So she decided to use
the address of a house
she thought was abandoned.
ATHENA: I spoke with her parole officer.
She's in violation,
so she is headed back to prison,
along with a few extra years now.
- What about her son?
- Nephew, actually.
He's safely home with his mother.
She's never gonna let her sister
watch her son again.
Wow, I would be furious at Buck.
Every family's different.
(exhales)
I know this look.
I actually agree with you.
I think it was very irresponsible
of Denny to see Nathaniel
behind your backs.
Anything could have happened,
and it kind of did.
I also agree with Denny.
He has a right to a relationship
with his father if he wants one.
He's a child, Ma.
He can't fully understand what he wants.
Didn't you? I was the one
who took you to dinners
we couldn't afford
because I could see
your heart was broken
when there was a daddy-daughter
dance you couldn't go to.
Toni, I get it,
but Nathaniel hid a relationship
with our son from us.
Feels a little soon to be
extending an olive branch.
Then when? When he's dying
and Denny's a virtual stranger?
Is there something we're not doing?
Is that why he wants
a relationship with Nathaniel?
He loves you both so much.
I don't think there's any one
thing you could do differently
that would replace the feeling
he gets from having a father.
I don't think we're ready for this.
Denny is.
And that should be
the only thing that matters.
Honey.
Don't repeat the mistakes of the past.
(indistinct announcement over P.A.)
Hey. Come on in.
Thanks for coming.
How are you, uh, feeling?
Like I got hit by a car.
Same, honestly.
I never meant for this to go so far.
Can you even fathom what it
was like to get a call that your son
wasn't on the school bus,
and to find him at the hospital?
You have to know
this wasn't my intention.
I was selfish.
But it felt so good to have a son.
Someone that was part of me,
who needed me.
He sought me out.
I let the feeling
of having him in my life
cloud my better judgment.
And that is inexcusable.
I wish I could go back and fix it.
You can't.
He's such a special kid.
You two have done
an amazing job with him.
I'm sorry about how all this happened,
but I'm glad I got to know him.
Even if it's just a little bit.
KAREN: We'll need to establish
some serious ground rules.
What?
Denny loves you.
However that happened.
And we don't want
to take that away from him.
So we will have to establish
a path forward.
KAREN: Which is not gonna be easy.
We had an agreement and you broke it.
Our trust is not a commodity you have.
You will have to earn it.
I will.
I promise.
I will never keep anything
from you guys again.
Thank you.
Let me be clear. This is not for you.
This is for him.
And the minute you cross
the line again, it's done.
Permanently.
Our son, our rules.
I understand.
BUCK: So, when I cook,
I like to measure out
all my ingredients.
That makes me feel
like I'm an actual chef.
That makes me your sous-chef.
Yes, it does.
Okay, sous-chef, uh,
let's measure this out.
We need to make enough cookies
for your whole class,
so we should triple that recipe.
- This is metric.
- Uh, let me see.
Here.
Okay, that's fine.
Uh, 185 grams of flour,
triple that is 555 grams,
which is 4.4345 cups.
Huh. You know, uh
Maybe we should just
find a new recipe online.
Can we have cookies for dinner?
Well, I thought maybe
we'd have some steak
and then cookies.
You know what a porterhouse is?
Buck, I'm from Texas.
(chuckles)
- (exhales): Ooh.
- BOBBY: Well,
I did not see that coming.
Road in front of me
was on fire. You are fast.
Come on, it's not like we were racing.
Well, thank goodness.
Otherwise you would have
left me six blocks behind.
Oh, it felt good. I just wanted
to see if I still had it.
- Oh, you definitely still do.
- Mm-hmm.
- Ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah!
- What?
We are filthy.
- Okay? I'm hitting the showers.
- Ugh.
(sighs)
You know, the best thing about
getting dirty together
is getting clean together.
- You ready?
- Yep.
NATHANIEL: Hey.
(indistinct chatter)
Are we ready?
Not even a little bit.
♪