Dawson's Creek s06e13 Episode Script

I don't wanna go to rehab.
- Too bad, sister.
You're going.
- Joey! I gotta tell you.
I read the brochures, it doesn't look like fun.
Do you remember how I found you unconscious? I was unconscious.
You remember the doctor said you could've died? Don't you think he was being just a tad dramatic? I'm not the first student to suffer a mild case of alcohol poisoning and I'm reasonably certain that I'm not gonna be the last.
Audrey, you have a problem.
A big problem.
You need help.
You need to be around people who care about you.
- Right.
And those people would be? - Your parents? Yeah.
Thanks for calling them, because that was a fun conversation.
My pleasure.
Hey, do you want this? No.
That doesn't accentuate the rack enough.
Audrey, you're going to rehab.
You might wanna focus more on getting better, less on getting laid.
I don't see why a girl can't do both.
I mean, what if Ben Affleck is there? He is the sexiest man alive, you know.
Did you pack my Jane magazines? I missed five issues while I was wasted.
They're in here, with a stack of InStyle and a tape full of Trading Spaces that I made you.
Joey Potter, you are a dream.
- Don't you forget it.
- I won't.
Hello.
Oh, yeah.
She'll be right down.
Thank you.
- Well, your cab's here.
- Joy.
Gimme a hug.
- Get better soon.
Okay? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You can do this.
- Blah, blah, blah.
- Can I drink at the airport? - No.
- Just a little one? Bitch! - Sorry.
If you have sex with Ben Affleck, call me.
Oh, well, you will get one.
Okay.
I shall return.
And when I do, I will be clean, sober and a hell of a lot more boring.
- I can't wait.
- Seriously, Joey just thank you, for everything.
For not giving up on me and all that.
- Kind of love you for it.
- You're a royal pain and I love you too.
Okay.
You can do this.
- Fly safe.
- Okay.
Come on.
Come on.
Okay.
- Hey.
- Hey.
How you been? - What do you want, Eddie? - I won't keep you.
I- I just wanted to say goodbye.
Really.
Because that's not really your style, is it? To what do I owe the honour? The thing that always gets me about you, Joey is you're 10 times sexier when you're angry.
And you seem to be angry at me a lot.
- Lucky me, I guess.
- Yeah.
Well, it's nice seeing you.
- Keep in touch.
- Wait.
I've been thinking a lot about what you said that night.
About taking chances, you know? About not giving up on myself.
You were right about everything, Joey.
I was afraid.
You're telling me this why, exactly? I'm going to California.
Yeah.
My sister lives out there.
I'm gonna crash with her and her family.
I've got an appointment with that school.
- That's great.
- Yeah.
And believe it or not, Hetson actually wrote me a recommendation.
It looks like there might be some kind of scholarship for me.
I mean, I don't know if anything will ever come of it, you know, but- I'm just gonna go for it, you know? Give it a shot.
Good for you.
Yeah.
Good for me.
So when are you leaving? Tonight.
Car's all packed.
You know, just me and the open road.
I'll let you get to class.
You know, I just I just wanted to say thank you, for everything.
I owe you bigtime, Joey Potter.
Good luck out there.
Yeah.
Listen I know you hate my guts.
But you think a hug would be out of the question? Excuse me.
Hello? Oh, Hi, Mrs.
Liddell.
What? Where is she, then? Okay, let me check, and I'll call you back.
- What's wrong? - Remember you said you owed me? I might be collecting a lot sooner than I thought.
No tickling! I told you, no means no! And cut! Awesome.
Check the gate.
We're moving on.
Moving on to what, exactly? - Next scene.
- I see.
So I guess you weren't planning on getting any coverage here.
I'm sorry.
I said next scene, I meant next shot.
- Which is? - I'm thinking duelling overs.
How interesting.
Because I'm thinking that's not gonna work.
It's impossible to light duelling overs.
What else you got? Okay.
What would you suggest? I don't know.
A couple years of film school, maybe.
That chair doesn't make you a director, kid.
- Could I ask you something? - Sure.
This scene why does it suck so much? - You don't like it? - I hate it.
- Who wrote this crap? - I did.
Well, could you maybe find a way to say some of this smarter? Hold that thought.
Hello.
Mom.
Hey.
Yeah.
You know, can I call you back? This is really not a good time.
I've- Yeah, I'm eating fine.
Okay.
Bye.
How is Mommy doing? She's great.
Where were we? We were talking about how much I sucked.
- Right? - Right.
So these pages, in addition to their general suckage seem to imply that Claire needs to get naked.
Yeah.
The studio wanted a little bit of gratuitous T&A.
But don't worry.
I plan to shoot it very tastefully.
Good to know, Dawson.
But I'm not getting naked.
- What do you mean? - I don't do nudity.
- But- - No buts about it.
Not getting naked.
No means no.
You know? Oh, the nerve.
Whoa, Grams? Hey, hey, hey.
What's wrong? What is it? I think Clifton Smalls and I have just broken up.
No! I thought you two were terminally smitten.
What-? What happened? - He wanted me- - What? - To - Is this about sex? Did he want you to do something-? No, no, no.
Everything's fine in that area.
Any reference to Mr.
Smalls' surname is a misnomer, so let's leave it at that.
- Oh.
- He wanted me to convert.
- What? To convert what? - To Judaism.
- Clifton Smalls is Jewish? - He most certainly is.
Jennifer, I can't do that.
I can't turn my back on my faith.
Big baby Jesus would have a fit.
I'm sorry.
Blasphemy and whatnot.
Come on! You deserve so much better than that.
Clifton Smalls is a freak.
Well, that's just it, Jennifer.
Clifton Smalls is not a freak.
Clifton Smalls is a wonderful man.
Audrey, open up.
I know you're in there.
- Where's the food? - Who are you? I'm Bob.
Audrey! - Where the hell's Audrey? - Oh, is that the blond girl? You spent the night and you don't know her name? Well, we didn't really do much talking, if you know what I mean.
- We porked.
- Where is she? She's in the crapper.
She went in there a while ago.
Audrey! What are you doing? Taking a bath! And I fell asleep! What does it look like I'm doing? What the hell is he doing here? I thought you two were splitsville.
Nice to see you too, Audrey.
You didn't show up for rehab.
You know, you've really got an eye for the detail.
How long have you been on the force, detective? - What happened? - Hey, is that guy still there? - Bob.
- Is that his name? - We didn't really do a lot of talking.
- Where did you find him? I was doing karaoke at some bar I did this Guns N' Roses song, and the kid just started worshipping me.
That's it.
I've heard enough.
Okay? Pack your bags.
Let's go.
Where? Eddie's driving to L.
A.
and I'm gonna take you to rehab.
Joey, don't get all after-school-special on me now.
I mean, it is sweet and everything, but it kind of gives me dumb chills.
I'm not going to rehab.
You're just gonna have to deal with it.
Fine.
Fine.
Don't go to rehab.
But at least come with us.
I mean, clear your mind or something.
I mean, do you really wanna be hiding out with the likes of-? You guys mind if I pee? Okay.
I'll come on one condition.
I get to bring Bob.
- No way.
- Fine.
Then I'm staying here.
- You don't even like him.
- Sure, I do.
He's 21.
He can buy us drinks.
Bob, I'll have you know, is an outstanding lay.
- I am? - Yes, Bob, you are.
Hear that, Veronica? Betty thinks I'm an outstanding lay.
Want a piece? Fine.
Bob can come.
Get your stuff.
We'll be in the car.
- So where are we going, baby? - We are going to L.
A.
Cool.
That's where Ozzy lives.
You know, you have really beautiful breasts and someone should tell you that every day.
Rub that lotion.
What? Nothing.
It's just you haven't said a word in, like, four hours.
What do you want me to say? Well, for starters, how about, "Thank you for helping me out with all this"? You're the one who said you owed me bigtime.
It's not like it's really out of your way or anything.
It's really more about simple human kindness, Joey.
This from a guy who dropped out of my life without so much as a passive-aggressive e-mail? How does that fit into your definition of "simple human kindness"? Where are we? Somewhere in North Carolina.
Mama, the South will rise again! Okay, you guys, this road trip blows.
Okay, for starters, the classic rock has gotta go.
And secondly, we haven't stopped to do anything fun.
It's not like we're in a rush.
Let's stop and smell the roses.
Oh, my God.
- Oh, God! - God of man! What is that? - Man! - That's not me.
I did not- Oh, I am gonna throw up.
What's wrong, sugar? - Oh! - Oh! What is that? It's you, you freak! Oh.
I'm sorry.
My ass must've relaxed while I was sleeping.
That is so disgusting! I can't believe that I slept with you.
I can't believe it, either, you know.
Look, I've been wanting to talk to you about something, okay? When you're done with your whole little rehab thing, if you're in the market for a new addiction, I know this drug called B-O-B.
I'm- You know, I'm saying I want to make us work, is what I'm saying.
- We'll see about it, buddy.
- That's cool.
That's really cool.
We're gonna have to do something about the sex thing, though.
What are you talking about? You told Joey I was an outstanding lay.
It was a little brief.
Don't you think? Well, you know, you- You set one pace.
I was giving it nice and slow, and then you went all hellcat on me.
- I can't- I can't do that.
- So it's my fault! Well, you're just- You're just too good at it.
That's what it is.
Dawson, how are you? - I'm great.
- Don't lie to me.
- Excuse me? - Don't lie to me.
You're behind, the dailies are weak we're supposed to be three days of reshoots, now looks like five.
You have a meltdown on your hands here, Dawson.
How you deal with this will define your career.
Other than that, keep up the good work, sweetie pie.
Todd Carr, please.
It's Dawson.
Leery.
Leery.
I trained you, remember? Well, can you try him on his cell phone? Please? All right, just leave word then.
Not so easy, is it? What do you mean? Well, obviously you were hoping Todd would just swoop in and save you.
Listen, Natasha, I feel like we got off on the wrong foot yesterday.
What can I do to make today a more pleasant experience? Well, in lieu of finding me a real director to work with I'd settle for you trying to explain the scene to me.
- What do you wanna know? - You've given Claire this enormous speech that's a lot of exposition.
Because it is exposition.
We need to explain all the stuff we cut out.
Well, that's all well and good, Dawson, but I think all you're shooting for can be accomplished in a simple look.
- A look? - Between Claire and the killer.
- A look? - Are you retarded? Because you seem a little retarded.
No.
I just don't think it's gonna work.
Well, you better get used to the idea because I'm not saying any of this.
So that's your shot? Yeah.
What do you think? Hey, you think maybe you could get off there? - Why? - Because it's dangerous.
Not to mention, completely disrespectful.
What are you talking about? This car's a piece of crap.
I'm sure it pales in comparison to the BMW you have waiting for you back in 90210-land, but this is all I have.
Well, then I guess it sucks to be you, huh? It's wrong to hit girls, right? Sadly, yes.
That's what I thought.
Just checking.
Eddie, I bet you're gonna look really hot pumping gas.
Maybe that should be your next career move.
Audrey, you're not funny.
I am many things, Joey Potter, but " not funny" is not one of them.
You should really lay off him.
You can't see it but he's doing you a favour.
Since when are you in such a rush to defend blue-collar Bobby? Didn't he basically reveal himself as a major league scum-sucker with his little disappearing act? He bailed on you.
Not exactly behaviour becoming the world's best boyfriend now, is it? - Who were you just talking to? - When? Just now on your cell.
I was just checking my messages.
Well, can I use it because I gotta make a call? Sure.
Pants on fire, Joey.
- What? - You were talking to my mom.
- She's worried about you, Audrey.
- I'm not going to rehab, okay? I already told you.
If she's so worried, then where the hell is she? Did she fly here when she heard that I was in trouble? She put me on a plane.
Wanna know something? You're no better.
- What? - This little road trip idea of yours it certainly makes for a handy excuse to spend some quality time with your working-class hero, doesn't it, Joey? You know what? You're very wrong about that.
I don't think so.
Why don't you have the guts to tell me the truth? Stop wrapping it up in noble intentions because this isn't about me, clearly.
It's about him.
Hey, don't break the seal.
Don't break the seal! I'm sorry.
Audrey's a mess.
I'm starting to think that maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
Don't worry about it.
Besides, it's a hell of a lot more interesting than going alone.
Yo! - What is wrong? - Nothing.
What do you mean? The phones aren't ringing.
It's freaking me out.
Why? Why can't you enjoy the peace and quiet for a change? Maybe my Grams will call.
- How is she? - I found her this morning staring, listening to Lionel Richie, waiting for the phone to ring.
- It's breaking my heart.
- I know the drill.
My Uncle Bill, his wife died about a year ago, he was devastated.
They were just like Ozzy and Sharon.
Is he seeing anyone? No.
No, he just discovered the internet.
So the multitude of porno choices takes up most of his time.
Sure.
We should set them up.
- Yeah, right.
- You laugh.
I'm serious.
Yeah, I laugh.
Because Uncle Bill he's not like most people.
So neither is my Grams.
She's a freak.
A thoroughly lovable freak but a freak, nonetheless.
Oh, come on, it'll be fun.
I call my Grams, you talk to your Uncle Will.
- Bill.
- Bill.
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey.
Thank you.
Maybe you should try this.
I'm not gonna shake my ass just to get a ride.
I didn't say you had to, but if you felt it was important to the task that would be okay too.
Hey! How can you joke at a time like this? What do you expect? What are we gonna do? I mean, this is ridiculous.
You try to help someone, your car gets stolen and you're stuck on the road with someone who hates you.
I don't hate you, Eddie, okay? It's just this wasn't the plan.
I mean, we're supposed to be over, you and me, done.
Kaput.
I see, so you're saying it's not over.
I don't want to talk about that.
I want to talk about Audrey.
- Fine.
Let's talk about Audrey.
- I can't figure out how to help her.
I mean, I keep trying all different angles, but nothing seems to work.
You can't help her, Jo.
That girl doesn't want anyone's help.
You're probably right.
I'm just having a hard time letting her go.
You know, believe it or not, she wasn't this psycho.
I mean, yeah, she's always been psycho, but in a good way.
Well, you're a good friend.
That's why you're here.
That's what friends do for each other, right? - What are you getting out of it? - Isn't that obvious? I get to spend some time with you.
I don't know about the whole friend thing.
Maybe Audrey's right.
What do you mean? Well, she thinks that this road trip isn't about her at all.
It's really about me.
Okay.
How does that work? Because I'm having trouble letting you go too.
- Joey- - Which, I know, it's stupid and really sad, because you made it painfully clear how you feel about me.
And yet, I'm just prolonging the inevitable.
Glutton for punishment.
I guess I haven't made it clear how I feel about you.
This is probably gonna sound Gonna sound cheesy but, I've never cared about anyone the way I care about you.
But it's too late.
I screwed up.
But the way I feel about you? I love you, Joey.
You're right.
It did sound cheesy.
Because you know what, Eddie? I can't for the life of me figure out how loving somebody translates into leaving them behind.
What, are you getting sick or something? You don't even care, Natasha, so don't bother asking.
Well, I never wanted you to puke your guts out over all this.
That's what happens when your life's ambition disappears before your eyes.
Look, you've directed before, right? It didn't bear the slightest resemblance to this.
Exactly.
You're not back home making some silly little movie with your silly little friends.
This is a whole different world with its own code of conduct.
Here, you are not entitled to anyone's respect or admiration.
You have to earn it.
You are guilty until proven competent.
Walk around like a deer in headlights, you will get run down.
Simple as that.
And this whole puking thing, it's it's unacceptable.
Okay? If someone asks, say you have the flu or something.
Thanks.
Yeah, well, don't thank me.
Just get your act together.
So, Evelyn what is it a beautiful woman like yourself does for fun? Well every so often, I do like to go to Las Vegas and gamble.
Outstanding.
I love Vegas.
It's delightful, isn't it? You know, every month or so, my church group plans a trip.
- What? - Nothing.
It's- It's just don't tell me you're one of those religious broads.
Well, I certainly would describe myself as religious.
Yes.
But I would appreciate it if you would not refer to me as a broad.
- Why not? - It's demeaning to women.
Oh, no, it's not.
I called my wife a broad at least twice a day for 42 years.
How lovely for her.
So anyone seen any good movies? Holy Moses! - What? - I think there's a pubic hair in my soup.
Does that look like a pubic hair to you? I don't know, Uncle Bill, just keep it down.
Okay, maybe it's not one, but it's definitely some kind of hair.
Antisocial perverts.
Disgusting.
All right, lady, what's your problem? - Excuse me? - Well, you're a real downer.
I mean, you're sitting here, staring into your soup, and every once in a while you mumble some derisive comment, when you should be going to a doctor.
What are you talking about? Why should I go see my doctor? So he can remove that polar icecap you got wedged up your butt.
- Hey.
- What do you need, kid? - This isn't the shot we talked about.
- I know.
The shot we talked about was lame.
This one kicks ass.
Hey, just move.
Can I ask you something? Could you D.
P.
this shoot? - What? - Could you D.
P.
this shoot? Well, in theory, yeah.
- Excellent.
Frank.
- Yeah? - You're fired.
- What? You heard me.
You're fired.
You're kidding me, right? You're next.
Anyone else want to get fired? Huh? Anyone? All right, we're starting over.
Allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Dawson Leery, and I'm the director here.
If anyone has a problem with that, get off my set and stop wasting my time.
Natasha, this is the script.
Familiarize yourself.
Unless you wanna keep these people from their families you're gonna say every single word that's on those pages and I could care less whether you agree with them or not.
Are we clear? Good.
All right, people, let's move.
I will fire you, and I will humiliate you and I will do it well because I learned from the master.
You have no idea how close you were to getting fired.
Oh, Bob.
We hardly knew you.
Hey, can I get another one, please? That was tasty, baby.
Thank you.
That is a tasty haircut you got there, if you don't mind me saying.
Yeah.
Chicks dig the hair.
- Where you from? - Not really from these parts.
Cool.
Hey, uh, you wanna check out my ride? Okay.
But I just want you to know, I'm only going because I think my boyfriend over there is gonna get a kick out of the story later.
Kinky.
Well, this is one hell of a pickup truck you got there, chief.
And kudos to you, man, for not skimping on the monster truck tires.
- Rock on, dude.
- Hey, where you going? Why don't you climb on in, check out the stereo? I got the new Metallica.
That is a tempting offer, but I should really go check on my boyfriend.
Come on, huh? Let the poor guy sleep.
No, I don't think so.
Just give me one little kiss? Just a little kiss? You know, you're really a charmer, really, but, actually, I just- I can't.
Because, actually, I'm a really bad kisser.
You know? The worst.
Like, I'm in all the books.
The way you were shaking your money-maker - I could give a damn how you kiss.
- You're getting rude.
Hey, all I care about is getting naked with you.
Not so fast.
Is that Audrey? Stop, stop.
That's enough.
That's enough.
Oh, God.
I'm so sorry, Joey.
Okay.
It's okay.
- Don't worry about it.
- Joey? I think I'm ready to go to rehab.
I don't know about you, but I'm not ready to call it a night.
Well Would you be taking a walk with an old fool? Sure and I'd love to.
Wow.
I don't know what to say.
Maybe I didn't have such a half-bad idea after all.
Yeah, I gotta hand it to you, Jen Lindley.
You're a genius.
No, seriously, I haven't seen that old man have so much fun in years.
If only I were such a genius in the rest of my life.
What does that mean? As I'm sure you're already only painfully aware I'm not half as good at figuring out my own love life.
Come on, you don't do bad.
The last boy I liked slept with my friend.
You know, the one thing I can say about that is if I knew you then the way that I do now, it wouldn't have happened.
How come? Because I couldn't bear the thought of hurting somebody so amazing.
You think I'm amazing.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
I deserve that.
I do.
I was just kidding.
And cut! Check the gate.
Everyone, thank you for a great day.
That's a wrap! Sorry I had to yell at you.
Don't be sorry.
Kind of turned me on, actually.
So you want to go get a drink or something? Audrey, I had no idea.
Yeah, kind of tacky, I know.
The one in Malibu's much nicer.
Okay, so I would give you a tip, but I only have hundreds, so Okay, I was kidding that time.
What, as opposed to the Well, then I was just being a bitch.
I'm sorry about that, by the way.
This hasn't exactly been the best year for new people to get to know me.
Yeah, well, once you get past the obnoxiousness and the petty bitchery you're not so bad, you know? You're kind of funny.
Well, you're not so bad yourself, Eddie.
That's not what your friend over there thinks.
You kidding? Of course she does.
Why do you think this is so hard? She might not want to give you the satisfaction of knowing this but you're one of the great loves of Joey Potter's life, which, doesn't suck.
No.
It most certainly does not.
Do you want me to come in with you? No.
I should face the firing squad by myself.
So listen I would say thank you and I'm sorry and all that, but I've said it before, and I don't want to insult you with empty words.
So, I'm just gonna try and get this thing under control.
You know? It's gonna be hard because first I gotta figure out why I'm so frigging unhappy.
When you do, remember everyone in Beantown loves you to death.
What? Nothing.
I mean, it's just- You know, who would've thought that the skinny, uptight prude I met in my freshman year would be my best friend? - Now, as for you, young lady.
- Yeah? It's time, you know.
Joey, you have to let him go.
Come here.
We staying or going? I got an appointment at that school.
I know.
You're going, all of you.
Bob.
- Are we there yet? - Yes, Bob, we're here.
- What are we gonna do about him? - I don't know.
Wait, I have an idea.
Bob, you got some work to do.
We stopped in Vegas, we got married.
- We did? - No, that's we'll tell my parents.
It'll freak them out, take their mind off the other thing.
- Can we have sex again? - No.
What kind of honeymoon is that? I need to work on my hang time, sugar.
Okay, maybe.
I'm not promising anything.
- Good luck.
- Bye, guys.
Hey.
You out of here? Yeah, I have an audition.
All right.
Good luck.
Or whatever.
Thanks.
The last couple of days have been great Dawson, but I have auditions and meetings coming up- Don't worry about it.
Well, maybe in a couple of weeks when things are less crazy, we can- - Natasha, it's okay.
- Really? Let's not make false promises to each other when we both know the truth.
- Which is what? - That you were right all along.
This is about sex, which is not the worst thing in the world.
I just wasn't used to it.
Every relationship I've ever had, I've taken so damn seriously.
I forgot how to have fun.
Well, I'm glad I came along to remind you.
Me too.
We will meet again.
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
You'll be directing some big movie and be kind enough to throw me a bone and cast me.
Then we'll have another fabulous whirlwind romance which will totally screw up our marriages, but it'll be worth it.
That sounds about right, except the part about me directing a big movie.
You'll get there, Dawson.
I have a feeling about you.
Which makes me wonder if I was wrong about us.
Because the other day, watching you take control of the movie I don't think I've ever been so proud of anyone in my life.
Then again, I could have been turned on by your vulgar display of authority.
It's been lovely.
Thank you.
My pleasure.
Oh, and just so you know, there will be other actresses.
But I was the first, and don't you forget it.
Oh, I won't.
I promise.
It's beautiful.
It's amazing.
It's freaking me out.
Why? You gotta understand, Jo.
This is a world so far removed from anything that I know, that I can't even process it.
That doesn't mean that you don't belong here.
So I should just ignore the urge to get back in the car and drive to Boston? - Yes.
- Yes? Yes.
As much as I really want you to do just that.
You're gonna be great, Eddie.
I mean, a whole new world is about to open up for you.
You can always go back to pretending you're a student.
You know, I was thinking about what you said about how hard it is to say goodbye and I was thinking, well, maybe we shouldn't say goodbye.
- How do we do that? - We make a plan to meet somewhere.
When? I don't know.
A year from now? You know, a lot can happen in a year.
You're probably gonna meet some willowy blond poet chick before you know it, Joey Potter will be a drama queen you knew when.
No, not gonna happen.
No.
So where we gonna meet? What about Paris, huh? I mean, you've never been to Paris, right? Well, we need to do something about that.
Paris shouldn't be something you could have done once upon a time.
Very nice daydream.
You know, it doesn't have to be.
Well, Mr.
Doling If something happens and we don't make it to Paris I want you to know I'm not gonna forget you.
You might just be the sweetest, nicest surprise that's ever happened to me.
I guess that's my way of saying I love you too.
If you don't mind, I'm gonna keep on loving you as long as I can.
SDl Media Group