Garfield and Friends (1988) s06e14 Episode Script

(Narrator) Ladies and gentlemen, Garfield and Friends. (drumroll)
We're We're
Ready Ready
To To
Party
We're ready to party, we're ready ♪
I hope you bring lots of spaghetti ♪
Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪
Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Dancing Fiesta
Romancing Siesta
Samba La Bamba
Ay caramba
Disguises Disguises
Surprises Surprises
And pies of
And pies of all sizes
Come on in, come to the place where fun never ends ♪
Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Come on in, it's time to party with Garfield and Friends ♪
Garfield and Friends
(Garfield) Today is Hit a Duck in the Face
with a Lemon Meringue Pie Day.
We'll explain later.
You sure you wouldn't rather go to a movie, Norma?
Oh no, Johnnie.
I just have a thing about the National Knights.
You wanna hold it down?
Look, it's Boulder!
He's my favorite.
(Narrator) Boulder is steeling himself
for battle in the aerial arena.
And he launches himself into battle against Zorgon.
Boulder strikes hard and fast with the laser glove.
Get him, Boulder!
(Narrator) He does a reverse spin
and attacks Zorgon's rear flanks.
Way to go, Boulder!
(Narrator) And Zorgon is defeated!
A new record in the aerial arena
as Boulder remains the champion!
Isn't he just incredible?
Oh, I wish I could see him in person.
(Narrator) Remember, if you want to see Boulder
and the National Knights battle in person,
just write to this address for tickets.
Jon! We have to get tickets!
I'll go get an envelope.
And if you want to challenge
one of our National Knights in battle,
let us hear from you too.
No, I will not throw the stick so you can fetch it.
Now scram.
(moans)
(howls)
I need an envelope!
(howls)
I need something to write with!
(howls)
I need something to write on!
You're afraid of getting run over
by the Arbuckle Express, huh?
Okay, leave it to me.
I need a stamp!
(train gate clanging)
Odie crossing?
(whistle blowing)
(pants)
(whistle blowing)
I need a stamp!
Remember, traffic laws are there for your own protection.
(phone ringing)
National Knights' general offices.
Oh, hello, boss.
What?
All right, I'll tell him.
The home viewer who volunteered
to battle against Boulder just chickened out.
Hm.
Must've had a sudden burst of common sense.
The boss wants us to pick another volunteer.
Well, there aren't any.
Nobody's dumb enough to fight Boulder.
But what about all that mail?
Oh, those are requests for tickets
to watch Boulder destroy someone.
The empty box is for volunteers.
If any volunteers turn up, which I doubt,
call 'em for tonight's match.
What're we gonna do for a challenger for Boulder?
Oh, wait!
There's one letter in the volunteer box.
Jon Arbuckle.
All right, Mr. Arbuckle,
you're gettin' your chance to do combat with Boulder.
Tonight?
Well, sure, I guess tonight'd be okay.
The Coliseum? North entrance?
Got it.
Huh, they must be desperate for a live audience.
I'm gonna call Norma and take her
to see the National Knights do their TV show tonight.
Don't forget to leave food for the cat.
(Jon) I have to go shower!
No, first I have to call Norma.
No, I'll call Norma while I shower.
No, I have to change my clothes first.
I'll change my clothes while I shower.
Looks like we need the crossing guard again.
Boy, you sure got these tickets in a hurry.
Well, I have connections.
Hello, I'm Jon Arbuckle.
Oh, thank goodness.
We have your costume all ready for you.
Costume?
The National Knights.
You'd have to be real low in intelligence
to enjoy a show like that.
(pants)
(Narrator) Welcome to tonight's contest
of the National Knights.
Case in point.
Change the channel, pooch.
(moans)
(Narrator) Coming up,
Boulder battles cartoonist Jon Arbuckle.
Don't change the channel, pooch.
No, if Jon's gonna do away with himself, we oughta be there.
Why did I have to dress like this just to watch a TV show?
Come on, the next event is Boulder in the aerial arena.
Boulder?
Boy, I can't wait to see which jerk he pulverizes this week.
How could anyone be dumb enough
to challenge that monster and--
Here you go, pal.
Hold this.
Sure.
Say, could you tell me where my seat oohhhh!
Jon?
That's Jon!
What a ridiculous way to show someone to their seat.
Why I, I, ai yi, ai yi yi yi yi yi yi.
Oh boy.
(growls)
Growl!
(hyperventilates)
Help.
(Garfield): This way, Odie.
(barks)
And now, the opponents swing out to meet in combat.
I said, the opponents swing out.
Can somebody get that guy to move?
(whines)
You said it, kiddo.
The guy who feeds us needs help.
And lots of it.
(Odie barks)
(Narrator) And the challenger, this Arbuckle guy,
is still summoning his courage to challenge Boulder.
Don't push me. I won't do it!
Any second now, the battle will begin.
Our champion, Boulder, against his, uh,
courageous challenger.
What's that jerk's name again?
Arbuckle.
Arbuckle!
And Arbuckle heroically launches himself into the fray.
(screams)
And here comes Boulder!
(screams)
What's happening?
Yow!
(Narrator) Six seconds!
A new world's record for Boulder!
(audience laughing)
Stop laughing at me.
(screams)
(crashes)
I would just like to say--
ow.
Come on, Arbuckle,
let's scram while you're still in one piece.
Jon!
You were so brave to become a knight
and fight Boulder like that!
I was? Oh, I was.
Yes.
Well, all it took was bravery and superhuman courage.
I can't wait until next week,
when you challenge the Crusher Twins!
The Crusher Twi?
I want a man who's courageous.
Well, I think you picked the wrong knight.
(snores)
It's a beautiful day, Garfield.
Let's go for a walk.
It's a great day to romp in the yard like this.
And for climbing a tree.
(snores)
Race ya home!
How exhilarating!
We should do this every day.
(snores)
Oh, I just dreamed I was Fay Wray
in the clutches of King Kong.
(hums)
Oh, hello, Booker.
Hi, Wade.
Hello there, Bo.
Hey, hi, ducko.
Here comes Roy.
Hello, Roy.
Hi, Wade.
You know, I think a trend is beginning to emerge.
Oh, Roy!
Roy, would you mind if I asked you a question?
Suit yourself.
Why does everyone keep hitting me
in the face with a lemon meringue pie?
I bet you do not have a good reason.
Because, fruit face, today is Hit a Duck
in the Face with a Lemon Meringue Pie Day.
So he had a good reason.
Orson, oh, Orson, Orserono!
(laughs)
Oh, that was so much fun.
I wish I could do it again.
Like, do what again, dude?
(laughs)
Hit Wade in the face with a lemon meringue pie.
I love this holiday!
I did it just to be patriotic.
But if you enjoy it so much, who says you can't do it again?
But I just hit him.
It's still national Hit a Duck in the Face
with a Lemon Meringue Pie Day, isn't it?
All day.
So who says you can't, like, you know, do an encore?
Hm.
Who says?
(laughs)
You see, it's like this, Wade.
The lemon meringue pie makers
all wrote letters to the government.
They got the lawmakers to pass a law starting this holiday.
So people would buy more lemon meringue pies.
I get it!
Hey, this isn't fair!
So far today, I have been hit with four lemon meringue pies.
Five lemon meringue pies.
Orson, you gotta do somethin'.
My feathers can't take the cholesterol.
I don't know what to do, Wade.
Write a letter to your senator or something.
Well, I'll just tough it out the rest of the day.
(laughs)
How bad could it be?
(hums)
Well, I think now we know.
Roy,
what are you gonna do with those 37 lemon meringue pies?
Guess.
- Eat them? - Mm-mm.
- Open a bakery? - Uh-uh.
Hit a duck in the face with them
in honor of national Hit a Duck in the Face
with a Lemon Meringue Pie Day?
Boy, am I a good guesser.
Ladies and gentlemen,
my impression of an Olympic track star.
On your mark, get set, go!
Hey, where's your holiday spirit?
Help, help, severe meringue damage possible!
Oh, help!
Bring that face back here so I can properly pie it.
I wonder how Roy would like it if the tables were turned.
Orson had a good idea.
I'm going to go write my senator!
Dear senator person, I would like to see
this day declared a legal holiday.
SENATOR: Mr. President, I ask that voting
on the highway and crime bill be suspended.
I have a more important bill to introduce.
Yoo hoo, oh Wade, where are you?
Your Uncle Roy has a sweet surprise for you.
In fact, I have 37 of 'em.
Shh, Roy, I'm trying to watch the news.
This just in.
The Senate has voted unanimously to declare today
national Dump a Bucket of Mud on a Rooster's Head Day.
Well, I'm glad they're not wasting
our tax dollars on something silly.
Orson, did I just hear?
Yep. I heard right.
(spits)
Orson, what happens if this holiday catches on
and everyone starts dumping
(spits)
Real cute, Bo.
As I was saying,
what happens if this holiday catches on big
(spits)
Not funny, Lanolin.
Let's say it catches on and it becomes a trend and
Maybe it's a little late to worry about that.
(spits)
Well, at least everyone on the farm has had their turn now.
(hums)
Not everyone.
Heh heh heh.
(hums)
Wade, you wouldn't.
You couldn't.
You shouldn't!
Ha! And double ha! Ha ha!
By the time I'm through with you, rooster,
you name will be Mud to match the rest of you.
Lemme outta here!
Come back here and take your mud like a man.
You thought it was funny to hit the duck
in the face with a lemon meringue pie.
It is far funnier to dump a bucket of mud
on the head of a rooster.
(laughs)
Wait a minute.
I forgot.
It's still national Hit a Duck in the Face
with a Lemon Meringue Pie Day.
Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch.
You cannot hide from your muddy destiny, rooster.
You, you, you have an awful lot of lemon meringue pies.
Roy, stop, stop, you're wasting food!
Don't you know there's a severe meringue shortage?
Oh, Roy!
Look at the good side of it, duck.
Your face will be lemon fresh.
Roy, Roy, you don't wanna do this.
(Roy) Yes, I do.
(Wade) Yes, you do, but I don't want you to do this.
What are you two doing?
Well?
What do you have to say for yourself?
(mumbles)
(spits)
We kinda messed things up, didn't we?
Yeah, yeah.
Mess is a good word for it.
This whole thing got so out of hand,
I've decided you both need to be punished.
Punished?
For tossing around a little pie and mud?
Yes, punished.
No TV for a month, no stories around the campfire,
and no pistachio nuts.
(gasps)
No pistachio nuts?
Come on, Roy, let's clean up.
(Roy) Who does he think he is?
No pistachio nuts indeed!
That is cruel and unusual punishment.
I say we do something about this.
And I know what to do.
Come on with me.
Dear senator, I wish to call to your attention
a dire need in our society.
Slow down, Roy, I can't write that fast.
Dire need in our society.
(Wade and Senator) A holiday that is sadly
(Senator) Lacking from our calendar.
Mr. President, I ask the debate
on the crime bill be suspended in favor
of a more pressing matter that I have here.
Hi, guys.
Whatta ya got there?
(Wade and Roy) Purple paint.
Anything interesting on the news, Ors?
And this just in.
The Senate, in an important and courageous move,
said to have long-term repercussions,
has just declared today national Paint a Pig Purple Day.
Gee, what a great new holiday, Wade.
Indeed, Roy, but where are we ever
going to find a pig to paint purple?
Gee, where does the time go?
Bye, now.
Oh, no!
Come back here, soon-to-be-purple pig!
You won't get away!
(Wade) It'll be real quick!
We'll use a roller!
(Wade laughs)
We'll be there in about 20 minutes.
You guys okay back there?
Five tuna sandwiches, 20 minutes.
Yeah, we oughta make it.
This is going to be interesting.
I've never been in a prison before.
(gasps) Prison?
Yeah, prison.
Jon was invited to demonstrate cartooning
for the inmates at the prison.
Uh-oh, car trouble.
Better pull off the road and take a look.
This could be trouble.
I'll say.
I'm down to four
Five tuna sandwiches.
Oh.
I hope it isn't anything serious.
Garfield, would you pull the knob marked hood release?
Hood release, got it.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Odie, this is awful.
Do you know what this means?
Uh-uh.
I'm gonna run outta tuna and have to start on the salami.
Oh, my head.
Lucky thing it was just a loose water hose.
(yawns)
I'm full and I'm tired.
You can have anything you like in the basket, Ode.
Ha ha.
Here we are, guys.
Madison Prison.
You guys wait here for me.
Hello, I'm Jon Arbuckle,
and I'm here to give the inmates cartooning lessons.
Oh, goody.
There's nothing men in prison want more
than to learn how to draw bunny rabbits.
Come on in.
(buzzer buzzes)
(yowls)
It is not empty.
I left the plastic forks, the paper plates, the napkins.
No, I ate those.
The salt shaker.
(barks)
Now, when you draw a doggie,
it's just like drawing a kitty.
Only the kitty has pointy ears
and the doggie has floppy ears.
Well, some doggies have pointy ears.
Who here would like to take a try at drawing a doggie?
How about a kittycat?
A bunny rabbit?
Duckie?
How about a horsie?
(laughs)
How about if I just shut up?
Recreation time's over, Mr. Arbuckle.
Okay, everyone, back to your cells.
(inmates grumbling)
Hey, Mr. Arbuckle, I found your little talk fascinatin'.
You did?
Oh, that's great.
Could I show you some of the cartoons I've drawn?
Why, sure, absolutely.
They're in here.
Step this way.
Okay.
Always glad to help a beginning cartoonist.
Yes, I
Hey! This is a closet.
(punching and grunting)
31, 32, 33, uh-oh.
Uh, sir, the prisoner in cell block 33 is missing.
He's probably still in the rec room.
Go take a look.
(whistles)
Goodbye, Mr. Arbuckle.
But I'm not a prisoner, I'm a cartoonist.
I came to give a lecture,
and a convict jumped me and took my clothes.
Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say.
(snoring)
Jon's back.
Hey, Arbuckle, we're all outta doughnuts.
(tires squealing)
Huh?
Hey, we don't need doughnuts that badly.
No, honest, he stole my clothes.
I'm the visiting cartoonist.
Yeah, yeah, this is the third time
I've heard that one this week.
And it's only Tuesday.
This is a mistake, I tell ya.
I'm not a criminal, I'm a cartoonist.
Hey, Arbuckle, slow down.
You're, you're not you.
Boy, are you ever not you.
Sit down and shut up, cat.
I'm sitting down and shutting up.
This man is a criminal, Odie.
I can recognize the type.
He's mean, and he's evil, and he's dishonest.
Big Louie: And I'm pullin' into this burger stand.
But at least he knows when to stop for lunch.
(Server) May I have your order?
Yeah, lemme have a jumbo king-size
Greez Burger with extra fat, side of fries,
your cash register, and a large diet cola.
Could you make that two?
I thought I told you to sit down, cat.
I'm sitting down.
(Server) That's a jumbo
king-size Greez Burger with extra fat,
a side of fries, our cash register, and a large diet cola.
You got it.
(Server) Pick it up at the window, please.
Here you go, sir.
Jumbo king-size Greez Burger with extra fat,
our cash register, and a large diet cola.
Thanks.
Hey, mister, you forgot your side of fries.
That trick works every time.
(siren wailing)
Jon never drives like this,
not even when there's a one-cent sale at Pizza World.
(whines)
I don't know what we're gonna do.
Lemme think of something.
Odie, pass me those plastic forks and cups
left over in the picnic basket.
Hah, that cop'll never catch me.
(plastic rattling)
Hey, what's that?
What's that noise?
Looks like your double framistat modulator's loose.
What're you showin' me, cat?
My double framistat modulator loose or something?
What a time for my double framistat modulator
to need tightenin'.
Hey, how do you open the hood of this junk heap?
Three, two, one, hood release.
(pants)
Take him away, boys, before he wakes up.
Ode, you want part of a jumbo Greez Burger?
(gags)
All right, Big Louie's back in his cell, Mr. Arbuckle.
I put him there myself.
(sniffs)
Something smells good.
And fattening.
Like I said, we're all real sorry for the mixup.
I don't understand how that convict
could walk right out of here and not be noticed.
Well, it'll never happen again.
Well, I hope not.
Come on, Odie.
Garfield, wherever you are, time to go.
Come on.
We'll stop for pizza on the way home.
Help!
Lemme outta here!
Help!
I hope you're not gonna pull that old
"I'm not a convict, I'm a cat" routine,
'cause I ain't buyin' it.
Jon? Odie?
Anybody?
(upbeat theme music)