Magnum, P.I. (1980) s06e14 Episode Script
Mad Dogs and Englishmen
I'm leaving.
I won't be coming back ever.
Just because a guy takes a job, he has to be as difficult as Higgins? I think I can do the job.
With a little help.
Magnum.
Zeus, Apollo, Miss Malcolm, stay! I have given up everything to be here.
We all have a great deal to do before we move out tomorrow.
Hip hip hooray! Then we'll have to shoot him.
Detail.
Stand ready.
Present arms! Cease fire! Perimeter secure, sir.
Communications secure, sir.
Control tent secure, sir.
Sorry we were late for the invasion, Mr.
Prime Minister.
But we had to make a pickup.
More gifts from the Chancellor.
When's he joining us? Noon, tomorrow.
I guess the test went pretty well, huh? The maneuvers, Dan, please.
If you're going to become an officer in our new government, the least you can do is try to develop a military vocabulary, hmm? Most commendable, gentlemen.
Yes, you're ready.
We set sail for the Dothan Islands at 0900 hours in two days.
Dismissed.
Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Sometimes I think maybe I've spent too long in Paradise.
I sort of take it for granted.
Like pizza.
I mean, while I find a lot of security in the knowledge that Paradise and pizza are always there.
It's awfully easy to get complacent.
Pepperoni or sausage? A perfect sunrise or a perfect rainbow? Why not just have all of the above again today? Now, I can deprive myself of pizza for a week and appreciate it again.
But Paradise? It's always at my door and while it can be very pleasant, it can also be very predictable.
Magnum? Magnum, please.
I must speak to you.
No! I'm sleeping! I promise to be brief.
Higgins, out! I was up all night on a case.
Yes, I know.
I'm truly sorry to wake you, but there are certain duties you must perform for Mr.
Masters.
No! Whatever it is, it can wait till this afternoon.
I'm afraid not.
You see, they're my duties, and I'm leaving.
Leaving? You didn't say anything about going anywhere.
When will you be back? I won't be coming back.
Today, you mean? I won't be coming back ever.
Higgins, let me brush my teeth There isn't time.
I have a taxi waiting.
My flight to London departs in one hour.
England? Higgins Per Robin Masters, you are to oversee the operation of the Estate until my replacement arrives this afternoon.
You're serious? Yes.
I apologize for waiting until the last possible moment to inform you, but I thought it best.
Just like that? You're gone? This doesn't make sense.
Unfortunately it wasn't "just like that.
" It has been imminent for some time.
I do have one rather personal favor to ask, and that is that you care for the lads until my replacement develops a rapport with them.
Granted, your relationship with Zeus and Apollo has not been altogether cordial, but they do know you and accept you.
Now, now, none of that.
Courage, lads.
Courage.
Goodbye, Magnum.
Higgins? Higgins, wait! No, please.
I'll carry that with me.
Thank you.
Higgins? Higgins, wait.
Higgins! Higgins, you don't leave until you tell me what's going on.
I've been dismissed from my post.
Fired? Robin actually let you go? Why? It would never survive the trip to England.
Please take it as a gift.
But I don't have anything to give you.
You have been my friend.
I still can't believe it.
Yeah.
It does feel a little strange around here.
Come on, guys, snap out of it! Here we go, come on.
Here we go.
Come on, guys, you always chase me when I run.
Hey, Thomas, leave 'em alone.
Can't you see they're depressed? They know that Higgins left this morning for good and they want to know why.
Well, so do I.
But I can't find out until Robin calls me.
In the meantime, Higgins left the lads in my care.
Come on, guys! Here we go! Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, the new major-domo will be here soon.
Why don't you let him worry about shaping them up? Better hope that he doesn't shape Thomas up.
Or there won't be any more tennis trade outs, and no more wine deals.
Hey, what if the guy is a Ferrari freak? Hey, no more wheels.
You know, you better face it, pally, you could be in big trouble.
Hey, come on, I mean Give the guy a chance.
We haven't even met him yet.
He might be nice, easy-going I mean, is there any law that says that just because a guy takes a job, he has to be as difficult as Higgins? Hey, don't knock him just because he gave you a hard time now and then.
Now and then? I mean, what am I really saying goodbye to? I'm saying goodbye to constant complaints, constant arguments, put-downs, threats, early wake-ups, long boring stories.
And always, always somebody coming into my house without knocking! So let's look on the bright side.
I mean, whatever this guy is, he's not another Higgins.
I think I could talk Robin into giving Higgins his job back.
Really? Yeah, if I can reach him.
I mean, I've left messages everywhere, but I just can't figure out why he won't return my calls.
Maybe he just doesn't want to talk about it.
I mean, why didn't he or Higgins give you a clue long before the problem got out of hand? I guess he didn't tell anybody but them.
And he knew that they couldn't blab.
Hey, could one of you guys kind of hang around here for a couple of hours? Oh, I gotta go to Maui.
And I ain't doing no dog-sitting.
Rick, Rick, Rick.
Come on.
Higgins' replacement will be here any time.
I just need to talk to somebody.
Who? Who else besides the lads loves to listen to Higgins' problems? He never said a word to me, Mr.
Magnum.
Not a word.
In fact, we were to attend the symphony gala tomorrow evening.
Wagner Under the Stars.
I'd bought a new gown.
And Jonathan had already sent me a corsage.
I'm sorry, Agatha, to be the one who has to tell you.
I kind of thought you'd already know about it.
No.
How could this happen? Jonathan dismissed after all his years of service? And how could he leave without so much as a goodbye? All I could get out of him is that it's some kind of problem with Robin that's been building up for a while.
The objets d'art? No, surely not.
Mr.
Masters knows how distressed Jonathan's been about them.
Objets d'art? It's French for "objects of art.
" I know what it means, Agatha, but what objects are you talking about? Some of Robin's? Yes.
Several expensive ones.
I don't understand.
I thought you were conducting an investigation.
Investigation of what? Oh.
All this will make more sense after some tea.
Excuse me.
Hello? Yes, Mr.
Wright, one moment.
For you, Mr.
Magnum.
Something to do with Jonathan's replacement.
Rick, has he arrived? He? The fact that I'm a woman is not the problem.
The problem is that I'm an actress and not a resort manager.
Why did Robin hire you for the job then, Miss Malcolm? I think it came up once in conversation that I'd had a three hour course in hotel management.
I don't think it came up that I flunked it.
What am I going to do? Well, you're You're going to relax.
And when I reach Robin, I'll straighten things out, and then you can leave.
Leave? Oh, no, no.
I can't leave.
I need the money.
Well, it's just a small stipend, but I need it.
And I think I can do the job.
I know I can.
With a little help.
You can fill me in in no time.
I'm very quick.
And I'm very busy.
I mean, there's some very expensive items missing from the Estate, and it's my job to find them.
But it's also your job to help me.
Robin, why haven't you returned my calls? Why isn't Ginny answering the phone, Thomas? She hasn't arrived yet? Uh, yeah.
Yes, she's here, but I had some questions Not about Higgins.
The subject is closed.
Now, I expect your full cooperation in orienting Ginny to her Estate duties.
She'll be there until I can get a permanent replacement or get Ian MacKerras in from London.
Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
Hello? Robin? Look, I really feel like I'm entitled to a little help until I get the hang of this thing.
But Mr.
Magnum says he has to look for all this stuff that's missing.
Now, if that's the way you want it What missing stuff? Robin What missing stuff? Well, there are some art objects that have disappeared, but I'm sure Higgins meant to tell me about 'em.
I doubt that seriously.
Well, what does that mean? I mean, can you tell me what's going on here? I think I deserve an explanation.
Very well.
When Higgins refused to explain a recent disappearance of $50,000 from the Estate account, he was politely dismissed.
But now that he's been unmasked as a common thief, he will have to be dealt with my way.
You, Thomas, will forget the entire incident.
And you will forget Higgins.
The sunrise was perfect and right on schedule.
The rainbows started showing up, as usual, within an hour.
The pizza arrived cold, and my bottle tops wouldn't twist off.
But despite all that comfortable predictability, Paradise was suddenly very different.
There was an eerie quiet all over the Estate.
Then there were my two improbable roommates who were now very reluctant to let me out of their sight.
And then there was a situation that nobody could have predicted.
Higgins dismissed and accused of grand larceny.
The evidence was stacked against him and I began to wonder how it got stacked so neatly.
I also began to wonder why Higgins left no forwarding address, which led me to wondering how I'd ever pay my phone bill.
Operator.
Hi.
Am I still on the night rate for calling England? You tried calling every hotel in London? Well, every one I could think of in between feeding the lads and running interference for Ginny Malcolm.
Oh, yeah.
Rick said she was a little insecure.
A little? She hasn't let me out of her sight for 20 minutes since she got here.
She never stops talking.
She doesn't know the first thing about security.
I had to leave your phone number with her just to get out of the house.
I mean, every time I turn around, she's under my feet.
Yeah, well, I'm sure it won't be long before you find Higgie-baby and the universe is restored to normal.
I hope you're right.
Any luck? Thomas, all of Robin's statues are gone.
They were sold to some fence on Market Street.
They paid over $200,000 for that stuff.
You gotta be kidding me.
What would Higgie need with that kind of money? They say who brought them in? Uh, a guy named Dan.
Tall, kind of young.
That's all I could get.
Any last name? No.
But there is something else.
The accountant at the Club called me this morning.
Higgins withdrew $10,000 from the special projects fund.
There's no reason.
Yo, Thomas.
Yeah? Ginny Malcolm.
Oh, for Tell her I'll call her back.
Uh, no, I think you'd better talk to her.
Sounds like a real emergency.
Hello, Mr.
Magnum.
Thanks for getting here so fast.
We're all locked in.
My key won't open the gate.
Do you know how to stop all this? Oh, some sort of override code, huh? I have no idea what happened.
I was just trying to use the computer.
Do you think that I did something to set off the alarm system? Are you going to answer me? Look, I'm very sorry about this, but I was just trying to do my job.
Without any help! How much is this stipend Robin's paying you, Miss Malcolm? I don't have much money, but I might try to better the offer if you promise to go away.
This was not my fault.
If you had been around here like I asked you You're not leaving again? Are you staying? Of course I'm staying.
Then I'm leaving.
In Robin's car? Now, I don't want to have to take your car keys, Mr.
Magnum.
I just want to take a little of your time.
But if I have to, I'll call Robin and I'll take both.
You don't need help.
You're catching on to the job real quick.
I'm serious.
I'll call him.
You're leaving? I'm staying.
What were you using the computer for in the first place? I was looking for a wine inventory.
Do you know how to punch it up? No, that only exists in Higgins' head.
But I do know the code for all the employment records for the last five years.
Oh, that's just great.
And how's that going to help me find my bottle of Chateau Lafite, 1938? It won't.
Now, look, Robin wants me to serve that to guests tonight, and I'm not going to What's that? It's old employment records.
I'm looking for some information on a tall guy who used to work here.
Dan Davis? Maybe.
Well, he can wait.
Right now I'd like the tall guy who's here to help me with menu plans and room arrangements and a certain bottle of very expensive wine.
Just as soon as I come back.
In the meantime, if you talk to Robin, tell him I said hello.
Wait a minute.
Magnum.
Zeus, Apollo, Miss Malcolm, stay! You want to plant that many in a row? It's not a good idea, Mr.
Magnum.
It drains the soil.
Fine, Dan.
You just tell me how many I need, and I'll have Kenji plant 'em.
You say Higgins got fired? Yeah.
Hard to believe, huh? How many did you say I needed? What? Oh, plants.
I think about two.
Ah.
If you don't mind, what was Higgins given the sack for? Oh, money misunderstanding, and there were some things missing at the Estate.
You're kidding.
Mr.
Higgins? Well, you and I both know that Higgins couldn't do anything like that.
But I'm going to have to come up with proof of his innocence if I'm gonna make anybody else believe that.
You think you can do it? Oh, I'm getting there.
I found out where the stolen goods were sold.
But I don't think Higgins was the seller.
I mean, would you describe Higgins as tall and young? But I mean, who could believe a fence? I mean, he probably just gave me a fake name just to get rid of me.
Yeah.
Oh, he gave you a name, too, huh? Yeah.
Well, first name.
Dan.
Will this be enough? Yeah, sure.
Look, I'll go ring it up.
I'll go with you, Dan.
Oh, no, no.
You just wait right here and I'll be right back.
You weren't just going to just run off, were you? 'Cause there's a couple of questions I need to ask you, Dan.
Magnum.
Ginny, not now.
Let him go, Magnum.
Just trying to do your job? Give me your car keys.
What? The keys, Magnum, now.
Before things get messed up any more.
I decided to call the Actors' Union as soon as I got back home.
But I didn't really expect to find a Ginny Malcolm listed with any of them.
I had a feeling that her only acting job had been as Robin's helpless house sitter.
Exactly what role Higgins was playing, I wasn't sure.
But I was certain that he was playing one.
The next step was to find out if he was working solo, or working in the same cast with Ginny and Dan Davis.
Dan hadn't worked at the Estate for several months, so I had to wonder if the address I'd found on the old employment records was still current.
I didn't have to wonder for long.
And I just couldn't convince myself that Ginny had followed Dan home because she wanted to be his house sitter, too.
I was convinced that she was right in the middle of whatever had gotten messed up.
And if she was in the middle, it was possible that Higgins was right at the top.
Or the bottom.
Don't touch her.
She's dead.
Why did Ginny ask you to meet her at Dan Davis' house? Who are you? HPD.
Can I see some ID? Well, I left it downtown.
I'd be happy to run you in and show it to you there.
You were going to tell me about Ginny? Well, she called me, left this address, said it was important.
Come on, Magnum, you're bound to have some idea of what she wanted.
Magnum? I don't remember introducing myself.
But tell me what you're looking for.
She may have said something about it to me.
How much do you know about her? She told me enough.
Did she say if she talked to the Chancellor? Chancellor? Yeah, a few times.
Why? You can go.
No more questions? No, Magnum, you get no more answers.
You don't know what's going on.
This is over your head.
Now get out of here.
Oh, by the way, welcome to the local police force.
What makes you think they're Intelligence? What else? They're definitely not HPD.
Well, there is another possibility.
They could have killed her themselves.
Then concocted some elaborate investigation just to fool me? When they could have shot me too? No, I don't think so.
I think they were definitely staking out the place.
Well, if they were there, why didn't they just grab Davis when he killed her? I don't know.
Maybe they were used to Ginny sticking around after he left.
You know, I think she was one of their agents.
Hey, man, what's going on here? I checked with the British Home Office.
I mean Higgins' visa was canceled when he lost his job.
He was ordered back to England except he never got there.
I think Ginny put on a real convincing act just to keep me here.
And those guys at Dan Davis' house were just inheriting her job.
Why can't I get that drawer open? What are you doing? This drawer's been fitted with some kind of new safety lock.
I need a very large pick.
The guys in that house were looking for something.
Something important.
Something they thought Ginny should have.
Now either Dan Davis took it with him, or it might be in this drawer.
May I? I mean, there's a very simple and scientific way to get in this drawer.
It's based on the principle of leverage.
Could you stand back, please? Metal? This drawer's been fitted with a sleeve.
Well, there'd better be more in there besides Higgins' memoirs.
There is.
Hey, you're right.
Ginny shouldn't have needed any help.
No, Higgins told her everything.
Wait a minute.
"Chateau Lafite, Special Reserve.
" No wonder she couldn't find it.
Robin's Special Reserve.
Two hundred bucks a sip and up.
Higgins wrote "Special Reserve" in his instructions to Ginny, but he forgot to tell her where to find it, which means he's probably never made contact with her.
Oh, come on, nobody drinks something worth this kind of money.
That's right.
It's just for investment.
So, what I'd like to know is, why he had Ginny pull one for some alleged guests who were supposed to show up here tonight.
Oh, found it.
"Chateau Lafite, 1938.
" Oops, wait a minute.
"Access code, Dothan 1332.
Virginia-Chancellor, 1400 every day.
" Make any sense to you? A lot.
If Ginny is Virginia and Higgins is the Chancellor.
I think they're supposed to make contact at 1400.
Uh-oh.
We'd better hurry.
Right on time.
Virginia.
Contact! "Delayed.
"Could not find wine.
" Wine! Look, could you two get on with this? I have to answer him, T.
C.
Kahalana Nursery.
Dan Davis.
They're running weapons out of that nursery.
Never mind all that.
Could you just ask this thing exactly where he's at? He's gone.
"Takeover maneuver set.
" Maybe it's an exercise.
You know, war games.
Military-sanctioned.
Could be.
In which case, this'll all just be an exercise.
And if it's not? I'll call.
Yeah.
If we don't hear from you by sunrise, we're coming in to get you.
I wish I had a better fix on this location other than somewhere in the Koolaus.
You'd better let me out here.
Hey.
You be careful.
They could be playing for real.
What's left? Two more crates.
Let's go.
Turn left.
Turning.
I did what I had to do.
I'd seen her talking to an undercover That didn't give you the right to kill her.
The hell it didn't.
She was on to us.
She could have messed up the whole invasion plan.
You had no proof that she was an intelligence agent.
I told you, I saw her with a fed yesterday.
You know undercover agents on sight, I suppose? The weapons dealers do.
They fingered a guy Ginny was talking to a few weeks ago and pointed him out to me! You still acted rashly and without authority! No, Jonathan.
Dan discussed the matter with me.
I gave him the order to kill her.
Why wasn't I informed? There simply wasn't time.
Besides, you might have tried to warn her.
You believe this? I don't want to.
But you are the one that brought her into the movement.
I have given up everything to be here.
That's exactly what Ginny said.
That's enough! You're being insubordinate to a superior.
We all have a great deal to do before we move out tomorrow.
I have my duties to attend to as well.
Yes.
Yes, of course.
Tempers are always a little frayed on the eve of a great undertaking.
Higgins.
Let's get out of here.
Come on.
Guards! Quickly! What's the problem, Jonathan? This man is an intruder in the camp.
Is he? Then we'll have to shoot him.
Ice Pick's gonna have a little talk with the gun dealers Dan Davis bought from.
He said that he wouldn't do it for the feds, but he'd do it for us.
You mean, the feds are leaning on him, too? Oh, yeah, real hard.
According to Ice Pick, the Army's ready to move just as soon as they get a fix on the location.
Yeah? He said he'd call us on the shortwave as soon as he found the camp.
And he also said that he hoped that we'd enjoy having a couple of friends along with us on the trip.
Yeah, well, we may need more friends than that.
I mean, Thomas would have reached us by morning like he promised if he wasn't in big trouble.
What're you doing? Calling the cops? Friendlier than that.
This is Niner Five Alpha calling Army dispatch.
Do you read me? Go ahead, Niner Five Alpha.
There is but one landing strip in the Dothans, located here.
Just north of the military headquarters and the Presidential Palace.
We shall land our plane there at precisely 2300 hours.
Please leave us.
I'm not buying it, Higgins.
You as a second banana in a military dictatorship.
My proper title will be Chancellor of the Dothan Islands.
I'm not buying that either.
What are you really doing here? Magnum, why, for once, couldn't you have stayed out of my affairs? I was worried about you.
I just wanted to help.
Yes, I know and I appreciate the concern and the good intentions but But you were afraid I'd blow your cover.
That's why you couldn't tell me about it.
My orders were explicit.
I was allowed to tell no one but Mr.
Masters.
You're back with Ml6.
I suppose that amuses you.
Uh-uh.
No, I'm just relieved to know the truth.
I am surprised they pulled you back after all this time.
Precisely for that reason.
Time.
Justin was with Ml6 himself after my days there.
There was some concern that he might recognize an agent of more recent vintage.
I'm sure there were other reasons, Higgins.
You're good.
But you did make one mistake, though.
You forgot to tell Ginny where the Special Reserve wine was kept.
But you are good, Higgins.
Thank you.
Likewise.
I had really thought I could keep you from finding me.
Right.
Maybe we should skip the compliments and concentrate on getting me out of here before they shoot me.
I can't help you escape, Magnum.
What? I must keep Justin's confidence until the invasion begins.
My orders are to lead him into a trap.
It's not like he's invading England.
He's trying to overthrow a friendly nation.
An act which would be disastrous to both our nations should he succeed.
My assignment is to stop him and I must complete it.
We'll stop him here.
We'll get rid of the guards and make for the truck while it's still quiet.
As soon as we get to a phone, we'll call the police.
Justin might pull out ahead of schedule before they would arrive.
You can just get out while he's still giving his briefing speech.
Make a run for the truck.
Leave the guards to me.
You're gonna stay here after you help me escape? You're not only gonna lose Justin's confidence, you're gonna end up taking my place.
That's my affair.
Magnum, I can't desert my post.
No, I guess you can't.
What if your post deserts you? And follow the dirt road into Hanaki Valley.
Hanaki Valley.
Got it.
Hey, thanks, Ice Pick.
We're on our way.
Now, I'll contact the Army dispatch and tell them to get a move on.
Army dispatch, this is Niner Fiver Alpha We read you, Niner Five Alpha.
There are light anti-tank weapons in each machine-gun bunker.
Yes, I know what LAW is.
How many are there? We're not sure precisely.
General Higgins will make his Upon General Higgins' signal, when Alexia has been taken, I shall move onto the islands of Apurnia and Napolea and secure them with only a guard and five men.
Halt! We should expect I'll get the plane.
Get behind me! Hang on, Orville, we're going in.
It'll be tight.
Get the fuel dump.
Regroup, regroup.
Davis Let's get out of here.
Let's go! Reloading! Get the ammo! I think a timely retreat is in order, Chancellor.
I think you're right.
Let's go.
Let's go now.
Come on! Magnum, please go away.
Morning, Higgins.
For God's sake, what do you want? It's 6:00 a.
m.
You're always up at 6:00.
I spent the entire night with the accountants.
I've been in bed for exactly one hour.
With the accountants? Claims were necessary for the replacement of Mr.
Masters' objets d'art and the missing funds.
The British and American governments graciously offered to cover all losses from the outset.
Now, what do you want? Just to tell you I'm leaving.
Oh, well, Molokai for about a week.
I thought it would be best for Zeus and Apollo.
It's not an uncommon thing to happen.
They lose somebody Oh, yes, yes.
They lose somebody they care about and they just lock onto anybody they associate with that person.
What is your point? The point is, Higgins, they don't seem to be adjusting back to the real thing.
You.
They keep hanging around my place, so I just thought it'd be best if I left and put temptation out of their sight.
Thank you.
What would you have done, Higgins? Would you have let them shoot me? What I would have done, Magnum, was what I did.
I put your bridge back in the study.
Thank you.
And thank you for not taking the Chateau Lafite-Rothschild, 1938.
Very decent.
However, the wine you took instead was a quite fine one.
But at least not irreplaceable.
For God's sake, don't drink it chilled.
Zeus, Apollo, stay.
I won't be coming back ever.
Just because a guy takes a job, he has to be as difficult as Higgins? I think I can do the job.
With a little help.
Magnum.
Zeus, Apollo, Miss Malcolm, stay! I have given up everything to be here.
We all have a great deal to do before we move out tomorrow.
Hip hip hooray! Then we'll have to shoot him.
Detail.
Stand ready.
Present arms! Cease fire! Perimeter secure, sir.
Communications secure, sir.
Control tent secure, sir.
Sorry we were late for the invasion, Mr.
Prime Minister.
But we had to make a pickup.
More gifts from the Chancellor.
When's he joining us? Noon, tomorrow.
I guess the test went pretty well, huh? The maneuvers, Dan, please.
If you're going to become an officer in our new government, the least you can do is try to develop a military vocabulary, hmm? Most commendable, gentlemen.
Yes, you're ready.
We set sail for the Dothan Islands at 0900 hours in two days.
Dismissed.
Hip hip hooray! Hip hip hooray! Sometimes I think maybe I've spent too long in Paradise.
I sort of take it for granted.
Like pizza.
I mean, while I find a lot of security in the knowledge that Paradise and pizza are always there.
It's awfully easy to get complacent.
Pepperoni or sausage? A perfect sunrise or a perfect rainbow? Why not just have all of the above again today? Now, I can deprive myself of pizza for a week and appreciate it again.
But Paradise? It's always at my door and while it can be very pleasant, it can also be very predictable.
Magnum? Magnum, please.
I must speak to you.
No! I'm sleeping! I promise to be brief.
Higgins, out! I was up all night on a case.
Yes, I know.
I'm truly sorry to wake you, but there are certain duties you must perform for Mr.
Masters.
No! Whatever it is, it can wait till this afternoon.
I'm afraid not.
You see, they're my duties, and I'm leaving.
Leaving? You didn't say anything about going anywhere.
When will you be back? I won't be coming back.
Today, you mean? I won't be coming back ever.
Higgins, let me brush my teeth There isn't time.
I have a taxi waiting.
My flight to London departs in one hour.
England? Higgins Per Robin Masters, you are to oversee the operation of the Estate until my replacement arrives this afternoon.
You're serious? Yes.
I apologize for waiting until the last possible moment to inform you, but I thought it best.
Just like that? You're gone? This doesn't make sense.
Unfortunately it wasn't "just like that.
" It has been imminent for some time.
I do have one rather personal favor to ask, and that is that you care for the lads until my replacement develops a rapport with them.
Granted, your relationship with Zeus and Apollo has not been altogether cordial, but they do know you and accept you.
Now, now, none of that.
Courage, lads.
Courage.
Goodbye, Magnum.
Higgins? Higgins, wait! No, please.
I'll carry that with me.
Thank you.
Higgins? Higgins, wait.
Higgins! Higgins, you don't leave until you tell me what's going on.
I've been dismissed from my post.
Fired? Robin actually let you go? Why? It would never survive the trip to England.
Please take it as a gift.
But I don't have anything to give you.
You have been my friend.
I still can't believe it.
Yeah.
It does feel a little strange around here.
Come on, guys, snap out of it! Here we go, come on.
Here we go.
Come on, guys, you always chase me when I run.
Hey, Thomas, leave 'em alone.
Can't you see they're depressed? They know that Higgins left this morning for good and they want to know why.
Well, so do I.
But I can't find out until Robin calls me.
In the meantime, Higgins left the lads in my care.
Come on, guys! Here we go! Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, the new major-domo will be here soon.
Why don't you let him worry about shaping them up? Better hope that he doesn't shape Thomas up.
Or there won't be any more tennis trade outs, and no more wine deals.
Hey, what if the guy is a Ferrari freak? Hey, no more wheels.
You know, you better face it, pally, you could be in big trouble.
Hey, come on, I mean Give the guy a chance.
We haven't even met him yet.
He might be nice, easy-going I mean, is there any law that says that just because a guy takes a job, he has to be as difficult as Higgins? Hey, don't knock him just because he gave you a hard time now and then.
Now and then? I mean, what am I really saying goodbye to? I'm saying goodbye to constant complaints, constant arguments, put-downs, threats, early wake-ups, long boring stories.
And always, always somebody coming into my house without knocking! So let's look on the bright side.
I mean, whatever this guy is, he's not another Higgins.
I think I could talk Robin into giving Higgins his job back.
Really? Yeah, if I can reach him.
I mean, I've left messages everywhere, but I just can't figure out why he won't return my calls.
Maybe he just doesn't want to talk about it.
I mean, why didn't he or Higgins give you a clue long before the problem got out of hand? I guess he didn't tell anybody but them.
And he knew that they couldn't blab.
Hey, could one of you guys kind of hang around here for a couple of hours? Oh, I gotta go to Maui.
And I ain't doing no dog-sitting.
Rick, Rick, Rick.
Come on.
Higgins' replacement will be here any time.
I just need to talk to somebody.
Who? Who else besides the lads loves to listen to Higgins' problems? He never said a word to me, Mr.
Magnum.
Not a word.
In fact, we were to attend the symphony gala tomorrow evening.
Wagner Under the Stars.
I'd bought a new gown.
And Jonathan had already sent me a corsage.
I'm sorry, Agatha, to be the one who has to tell you.
I kind of thought you'd already know about it.
No.
How could this happen? Jonathan dismissed after all his years of service? And how could he leave without so much as a goodbye? All I could get out of him is that it's some kind of problem with Robin that's been building up for a while.
The objets d'art? No, surely not.
Mr.
Masters knows how distressed Jonathan's been about them.
Objets d'art? It's French for "objects of art.
" I know what it means, Agatha, but what objects are you talking about? Some of Robin's? Yes.
Several expensive ones.
I don't understand.
I thought you were conducting an investigation.
Investigation of what? Oh.
All this will make more sense after some tea.
Excuse me.
Hello? Yes, Mr.
Wright, one moment.
For you, Mr.
Magnum.
Something to do with Jonathan's replacement.
Rick, has he arrived? He? The fact that I'm a woman is not the problem.
The problem is that I'm an actress and not a resort manager.
Why did Robin hire you for the job then, Miss Malcolm? I think it came up once in conversation that I'd had a three hour course in hotel management.
I don't think it came up that I flunked it.
What am I going to do? Well, you're You're going to relax.
And when I reach Robin, I'll straighten things out, and then you can leave.
Leave? Oh, no, no.
I can't leave.
I need the money.
Well, it's just a small stipend, but I need it.
And I think I can do the job.
I know I can.
With a little help.
You can fill me in in no time.
I'm very quick.
And I'm very busy.
I mean, there's some very expensive items missing from the Estate, and it's my job to find them.
But it's also your job to help me.
Robin, why haven't you returned my calls? Why isn't Ginny answering the phone, Thomas? She hasn't arrived yet? Uh, yeah.
Yes, she's here, but I had some questions Not about Higgins.
The subject is closed.
Now, I expect your full cooperation in orienting Ginny to her Estate duties.
She'll be there until I can get a permanent replacement or get Ian MacKerras in from London.
Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you about.
Hello? Robin? Look, I really feel like I'm entitled to a little help until I get the hang of this thing.
But Mr.
Magnum says he has to look for all this stuff that's missing.
Now, if that's the way you want it What missing stuff? Robin What missing stuff? Well, there are some art objects that have disappeared, but I'm sure Higgins meant to tell me about 'em.
I doubt that seriously.
Well, what does that mean? I mean, can you tell me what's going on here? I think I deserve an explanation.
Very well.
When Higgins refused to explain a recent disappearance of $50,000 from the Estate account, he was politely dismissed.
But now that he's been unmasked as a common thief, he will have to be dealt with my way.
You, Thomas, will forget the entire incident.
And you will forget Higgins.
The sunrise was perfect and right on schedule.
The rainbows started showing up, as usual, within an hour.
The pizza arrived cold, and my bottle tops wouldn't twist off.
But despite all that comfortable predictability, Paradise was suddenly very different.
There was an eerie quiet all over the Estate.
Then there were my two improbable roommates who were now very reluctant to let me out of their sight.
And then there was a situation that nobody could have predicted.
Higgins dismissed and accused of grand larceny.
The evidence was stacked against him and I began to wonder how it got stacked so neatly.
I also began to wonder why Higgins left no forwarding address, which led me to wondering how I'd ever pay my phone bill.
Operator.
Hi.
Am I still on the night rate for calling England? You tried calling every hotel in London? Well, every one I could think of in between feeding the lads and running interference for Ginny Malcolm.
Oh, yeah.
Rick said she was a little insecure.
A little? She hasn't let me out of her sight for 20 minutes since she got here.
She never stops talking.
She doesn't know the first thing about security.
I had to leave your phone number with her just to get out of the house.
I mean, every time I turn around, she's under my feet.
Yeah, well, I'm sure it won't be long before you find Higgie-baby and the universe is restored to normal.
I hope you're right.
Any luck? Thomas, all of Robin's statues are gone.
They were sold to some fence on Market Street.
They paid over $200,000 for that stuff.
You gotta be kidding me.
What would Higgie need with that kind of money? They say who brought them in? Uh, a guy named Dan.
Tall, kind of young.
That's all I could get.
Any last name? No.
But there is something else.
The accountant at the Club called me this morning.
Higgins withdrew $10,000 from the special projects fund.
There's no reason.
Yo, Thomas.
Yeah? Ginny Malcolm.
Oh, for Tell her I'll call her back.
Uh, no, I think you'd better talk to her.
Sounds like a real emergency.
Hello, Mr.
Magnum.
Thanks for getting here so fast.
We're all locked in.
My key won't open the gate.
Do you know how to stop all this? Oh, some sort of override code, huh? I have no idea what happened.
I was just trying to use the computer.
Do you think that I did something to set off the alarm system? Are you going to answer me? Look, I'm very sorry about this, but I was just trying to do my job.
Without any help! How much is this stipend Robin's paying you, Miss Malcolm? I don't have much money, but I might try to better the offer if you promise to go away.
This was not my fault.
If you had been around here like I asked you You're not leaving again? Are you staying? Of course I'm staying.
Then I'm leaving.
In Robin's car? Now, I don't want to have to take your car keys, Mr.
Magnum.
I just want to take a little of your time.
But if I have to, I'll call Robin and I'll take both.
You don't need help.
You're catching on to the job real quick.
I'm serious.
I'll call him.
You're leaving? I'm staying.
What were you using the computer for in the first place? I was looking for a wine inventory.
Do you know how to punch it up? No, that only exists in Higgins' head.
But I do know the code for all the employment records for the last five years.
Oh, that's just great.
And how's that going to help me find my bottle of Chateau Lafite, 1938? It won't.
Now, look, Robin wants me to serve that to guests tonight, and I'm not going to What's that? It's old employment records.
I'm looking for some information on a tall guy who used to work here.
Dan Davis? Maybe.
Well, he can wait.
Right now I'd like the tall guy who's here to help me with menu plans and room arrangements and a certain bottle of very expensive wine.
Just as soon as I come back.
In the meantime, if you talk to Robin, tell him I said hello.
Wait a minute.
Magnum.
Zeus, Apollo, Miss Malcolm, stay! You want to plant that many in a row? It's not a good idea, Mr.
Magnum.
It drains the soil.
Fine, Dan.
You just tell me how many I need, and I'll have Kenji plant 'em.
You say Higgins got fired? Yeah.
Hard to believe, huh? How many did you say I needed? What? Oh, plants.
I think about two.
Ah.
If you don't mind, what was Higgins given the sack for? Oh, money misunderstanding, and there were some things missing at the Estate.
You're kidding.
Mr.
Higgins? Well, you and I both know that Higgins couldn't do anything like that.
But I'm going to have to come up with proof of his innocence if I'm gonna make anybody else believe that.
You think you can do it? Oh, I'm getting there.
I found out where the stolen goods were sold.
But I don't think Higgins was the seller.
I mean, would you describe Higgins as tall and young? But I mean, who could believe a fence? I mean, he probably just gave me a fake name just to get rid of me.
Yeah.
Oh, he gave you a name, too, huh? Yeah.
Well, first name.
Dan.
Will this be enough? Yeah, sure.
Look, I'll go ring it up.
I'll go with you, Dan.
Oh, no, no.
You just wait right here and I'll be right back.
You weren't just going to just run off, were you? 'Cause there's a couple of questions I need to ask you, Dan.
Magnum.
Ginny, not now.
Let him go, Magnum.
Just trying to do your job? Give me your car keys.
What? The keys, Magnum, now.
Before things get messed up any more.
I decided to call the Actors' Union as soon as I got back home.
But I didn't really expect to find a Ginny Malcolm listed with any of them.
I had a feeling that her only acting job had been as Robin's helpless house sitter.
Exactly what role Higgins was playing, I wasn't sure.
But I was certain that he was playing one.
The next step was to find out if he was working solo, or working in the same cast with Ginny and Dan Davis.
Dan hadn't worked at the Estate for several months, so I had to wonder if the address I'd found on the old employment records was still current.
I didn't have to wonder for long.
And I just couldn't convince myself that Ginny had followed Dan home because she wanted to be his house sitter, too.
I was convinced that she was right in the middle of whatever had gotten messed up.
And if she was in the middle, it was possible that Higgins was right at the top.
Or the bottom.
Don't touch her.
She's dead.
Why did Ginny ask you to meet her at Dan Davis' house? Who are you? HPD.
Can I see some ID? Well, I left it downtown.
I'd be happy to run you in and show it to you there.
You were going to tell me about Ginny? Well, she called me, left this address, said it was important.
Come on, Magnum, you're bound to have some idea of what she wanted.
Magnum? I don't remember introducing myself.
But tell me what you're looking for.
She may have said something about it to me.
How much do you know about her? She told me enough.
Did she say if she talked to the Chancellor? Chancellor? Yeah, a few times.
Why? You can go.
No more questions? No, Magnum, you get no more answers.
You don't know what's going on.
This is over your head.
Now get out of here.
Oh, by the way, welcome to the local police force.
What makes you think they're Intelligence? What else? They're definitely not HPD.
Well, there is another possibility.
They could have killed her themselves.
Then concocted some elaborate investigation just to fool me? When they could have shot me too? No, I don't think so.
I think they were definitely staking out the place.
Well, if they were there, why didn't they just grab Davis when he killed her? I don't know.
Maybe they were used to Ginny sticking around after he left.
You know, I think she was one of their agents.
Hey, man, what's going on here? I checked with the British Home Office.
I mean Higgins' visa was canceled when he lost his job.
He was ordered back to England except he never got there.
I think Ginny put on a real convincing act just to keep me here.
And those guys at Dan Davis' house were just inheriting her job.
Why can't I get that drawer open? What are you doing? This drawer's been fitted with some kind of new safety lock.
I need a very large pick.
The guys in that house were looking for something.
Something important.
Something they thought Ginny should have.
Now either Dan Davis took it with him, or it might be in this drawer.
May I? I mean, there's a very simple and scientific way to get in this drawer.
It's based on the principle of leverage.
Could you stand back, please? Metal? This drawer's been fitted with a sleeve.
Well, there'd better be more in there besides Higgins' memoirs.
There is.
Hey, you're right.
Ginny shouldn't have needed any help.
No, Higgins told her everything.
Wait a minute.
"Chateau Lafite, Special Reserve.
" No wonder she couldn't find it.
Robin's Special Reserve.
Two hundred bucks a sip and up.
Higgins wrote "Special Reserve" in his instructions to Ginny, but he forgot to tell her where to find it, which means he's probably never made contact with her.
Oh, come on, nobody drinks something worth this kind of money.
That's right.
It's just for investment.
So, what I'd like to know is, why he had Ginny pull one for some alleged guests who were supposed to show up here tonight.
Oh, found it.
"Chateau Lafite, 1938.
" Oops, wait a minute.
"Access code, Dothan 1332.
Virginia-Chancellor, 1400 every day.
" Make any sense to you? A lot.
If Ginny is Virginia and Higgins is the Chancellor.
I think they're supposed to make contact at 1400.
Uh-oh.
We'd better hurry.
Right on time.
Virginia.
Contact! "Delayed.
"Could not find wine.
" Wine! Look, could you two get on with this? I have to answer him, T.
C.
Kahalana Nursery.
Dan Davis.
They're running weapons out of that nursery.
Never mind all that.
Could you just ask this thing exactly where he's at? He's gone.
"Takeover maneuver set.
" Maybe it's an exercise.
You know, war games.
Military-sanctioned.
Could be.
In which case, this'll all just be an exercise.
And if it's not? I'll call.
Yeah.
If we don't hear from you by sunrise, we're coming in to get you.
I wish I had a better fix on this location other than somewhere in the Koolaus.
You'd better let me out here.
Hey.
You be careful.
They could be playing for real.
What's left? Two more crates.
Let's go.
Turn left.
Turning.
I did what I had to do.
I'd seen her talking to an undercover That didn't give you the right to kill her.
The hell it didn't.
She was on to us.
She could have messed up the whole invasion plan.
You had no proof that she was an intelligence agent.
I told you, I saw her with a fed yesterday.
You know undercover agents on sight, I suppose? The weapons dealers do.
They fingered a guy Ginny was talking to a few weeks ago and pointed him out to me! You still acted rashly and without authority! No, Jonathan.
Dan discussed the matter with me.
I gave him the order to kill her.
Why wasn't I informed? There simply wasn't time.
Besides, you might have tried to warn her.
You believe this? I don't want to.
But you are the one that brought her into the movement.
I have given up everything to be here.
That's exactly what Ginny said.
That's enough! You're being insubordinate to a superior.
We all have a great deal to do before we move out tomorrow.
I have my duties to attend to as well.
Yes.
Yes, of course.
Tempers are always a little frayed on the eve of a great undertaking.
Higgins.
Let's get out of here.
Come on.
Guards! Quickly! What's the problem, Jonathan? This man is an intruder in the camp.
Is he? Then we'll have to shoot him.
Ice Pick's gonna have a little talk with the gun dealers Dan Davis bought from.
He said that he wouldn't do it for the feds, but he'd do it for us.
You mean, the feds are leaning on him, too? Oh, yeah, real hard.
According to Ice Pick, the Army's ready to move just as soon as they get a fix on the location.
Yeah? He said he'd call us on the shortwave as soon as he found the camp.
And he also said that he hoped that we'd enjoy having a couple of friends along with us on the trip.
Yeah, well, we may need more friends than that.
I mean, Thomas would have reached us by morning like he promised if he wasn't in big trouble.
What're you doing? Calling the cops? Friendlier than that.
This is Niner Five Alpha calling Army dispatch.
Do you read me? Go ahead, Niner Five Alpha.
There is but one landing strip in the Dothans, located here.
Just north of the military headquarters and the Presidential Palace.
We shall land our plane there at precisely 2300 hours.
Please leave us.
I'm not buying it, Higgins.
You as a second banana in a military dictatorship.
My proper title will be Chancellor of the Dothan Islands.
I'm not buying that either.
What are you really doing here? Magnum, why, for once, couldn't you have stayed out of my affairs? I was worried about you.
I just wanted to help.
Yes, I know and I appreciate the concern and the good intentions but But you were afraid I'd blow your cover.
That's why you couldn't tell me about it.
My orders were explicit.
I was allowed to tell no one but Mr.
Masters.
You're back with Ml6.
I suppose that amuses you.
Uh-uh.
No, I'm just relieved to know the truth.
I am surprised they pulled you back after all this time.
Precisely for that reason.
Time.
Justin was with Ml6 himself after my days there.
There was some concern that he might recognize an agent of more recent vintage.
I'm sure there were other reasons, Higgins.
You're good.
But you did make one mistake, though.
You forgot to tell Ginny where the Special Reserve wine was kept.
But you are good, Higgins.
Thank you.
Likewise.
I had really thought I could keep you from finding me.
Right.
Maybe we should skip the compliments and concentrate on getting me out of here before they shoot me.
I can't help you escape, Magnum.
What? I must keep Justin's confidence until the invasion begins.
My orders are to lead him into a trap.
It's not like he's invading England.
He's trying to overthrow a friendly nation.
An act which would be disastrous to both our nations should he succeed.
My assignment is to stop him and I must complete it.
We'll stop him here.
We'll get rid of the guards and make for the truck while it's still quiet.
As soon as we get to a phone, we'll call the police.
Justin might pull out ahead of schedule before they would arrive.
You can just get out while he's still giving his briefing speech.
Make a run for the truck.
Leave the guards to me.
You're gonna stay here after you help me escape? You're not only gonna lose Justin's confidence, you're gonna end up taking my place.
That's my affair.
Magnum, I can't desert my post.
No, I guess you can't.
What if your post deserts you? And follow the dirt road into Hanaki Valley.
Hanaki Valley.
Got it.
Hey, thanks, Ice Pick.
We're on our way.
Now, I'll contact the Army dispatch and tell them to get a move on.
Army dispatch, this is Niner Fiver Alpha We read you, Niner Five Alpha.
There are light anti-tank weapons in each machine-gun bunker.
Yes, I know what LAW is.
How many are there? We're not sure precisely.
General Higgins will make his Upon General Higgins' signal, when Alexia has been taken, I shall move onto the islands of Apurnia and Napolea and secure them with only a guard and five men.
Halt! We should expect I'll get the plane.
Get behind me! Hang on, Orville, we're going in.
It'll be tight.
Get the fuel dump.
Regroup, regroup.
Davis Let's get out of here.
Let's go! Reloading! Get the ammo! I think a timely retreat is in order, Chancellor.
I think you're right.
Let's go.
Let's go now.
Come on! Magnum, please go away.
Morning, Higgins.
For God's sake, what do you want? It's 6:00 a.
m.
You're always up at 6:00.
I spent the entire night with the accountants.
I've been in bed for exactly one hour.
With the accountants? Claims were necessary for the replacement of Mr.
Masters' objets d'art and the missing funds.
The British and American governments graciously offered to cover all losses from the outset.
Now, what do you want? Just to tell you I'm leaving.
Oh, well, Molokai for about a week.
I thought it would be best for Zeus and Apollo.
It's not an uncommon thing to happen.
They lose somebody Oh, yes, yes.
They lose somebody they care about and they just lock onto anybody they associate with that person.
What is your point? The point is, Higgins, they don't seem to be adjusting back to the real thing.
You.
They keep hanging around my place, so I just thought it'd be best if I left and put temptation out of their sight.
Thank you.
What would you have done, Higgins? Would you have let them shoot me? What I would have done, Magnum, was what I did.
I put your bridge back in the study.
Thank you.
And thank you for not taking the Chateau Lafite-Rothschild, 1938.
Very decent.
However, the wine you took instead was a quite fine one.
But at least not irreplaceable.
For God's sake, don't drink it chilled.
Zeus, Apollo, stay.