Northern Exposure s06e16 Episode Script

Oh, it's beautiful, really beautiful.
You know, we could build right on this spot.
Land owners! To our future home.
Our future home.
Do you have some Brie in that bag? Yeah.
Here, hold this.
Oh.
Maybe I left that back in the car.
Oh, all right.
Well, you wait here, I'll go get it.
Okay.
Michelle? Yeah? Could you come here for a sec? What is it, honey? Which way did we come? Oh.
I really don't know.
Okay, Cicelians, that's the end of another broadcasting day.
Before we "happy trails" it, we've got a few Founder's Day updates.
Hayden Keyes still has some of his limited-edition prints of our founding mothers, Cicely and Roslyn, for sale.
Each one individually signed by the artist himself.
And Games Commissioner Connie Grippo warns if she doesn't get two more sign-ups for the Jack and Jill tree topping, the event is going to be canceled for lack for participation.
One more reminder to us all.
Show your pride, wear the sock.
What's up with all these socks everywhere? It's for Founder's Day.
The reason why we're here.
A sock? When Cicely and Roslyn drove up from Montana, Roslyn lost one of her socks.
And she hated wearing socks that didn't match.
So, she stopped here to buy a new pair.
So you're telling me this entire town was founded because of a sock? That's the story.
You want one? Yeah, sure, whatever.
Well, here we are.
Sure looks like nobody's been here in 30 years.
Hey, I don't see anything.
Well, what are we going to do? Opening these used to be my thing, you mind? Nope, go ahead.
I guess nobody was home when you broke in, huh? Yeah.
Wow.
This is it.
Here.
Got it? Yeah.
Look at that.
Wow.
Roslyn and Cicely's old Model T.
Another year, another Founder's Day.
Boy, they go faster and faster, don't they? How many is that for me now? Let's see, 27? Mmm-mmm.
Nope, 28.
Cool pics, H.
Boss redo, huh? Huh? The way Holling spiffed up the nursery.
Oh, yeah.
Super dad.
Hey, what did you do that for? You just got it built up.
That's kids for you.
Build it up, knock it down.
Build it up, knock it down.
Yeah, I guess.
Yeah, I don't know how you have the patience.
Kids bore me.
Before I had Randi, I used to feel the same way.
I didn't care much for them.
But I tell you now, Maurice.
I'd like a dozen.
Well, if I ever had offspring, I'd want them ready made.
Boy about 10 or 11 years old.
Hunting age.
Hey! Randi.
Well, I guess you had that coming.
Phil, we can't build the kind of house we've been talking about.
What do you mean? Well, 3,000 square feet at $100 a square foot, that's $300,000.
Yeah, well, we still have 15,000.
We put the land up as collateral, we'll have enough to qualify for a loan.
We don't really have $15,000, honey.
We forgot to take into account the legal fees for the dissolution of your partnership.
Well, how much could that be? Well, we met with Bernie four times in September.
Plus the phone conversations and all the papers he's drawing up.
I bet we're looking at seven, $8,000.
Well, that still leaves us No, it doesn't.
Visa bill.
$3,473.
What? We charged our moving costs and that refrigerator we bought for your folks, remember? If we build small, we can always add on, right? What was that? Oh, my God.
What happened? What did this? Came this way, did he? Walt? Who? Who came this way? Bull moose.
Big one.
Moose? But why would he attack our car? It didn't attack your car.
It tried to mount it.
Mount it? Mate? I know it's not the season for it.
But sometimes the scent of these Japanese radials mimics the natural pheromones.
Drives them wild.
Don't worry, he won't get away from me.
I'll let you have his rack.
Ruth-Anne, there you are.
I was wondering if I could just take off for a couple of hours this afternoon.
I told Lester Haynes I'd help him with the chamber of commerce float.
I guess so.
What's their theme this year? Oh, Cicely, Paris of the North.
It's gonna be an Eiffel Tower with black Dutch tulips perched on a snowball of day lilies.
Wow, sounds lovely.
Why don't you go over to the store and get a sack of gingerbread sock cookies for the boys.
Oh, hey, thanks.
Hello, Holling.
Maurice.
Do you mind if I visit with Miranda for a few minutes? I guess not.
Hello.
Randi? I thought so.
Thought what? He used to pull my ear just like that.
My Uncle Elvy.
Your Miranda is my Uncle Elvy.
Maurice? You OD on the Johnnie Walker? Hell, no, I'm cold sober, Shelly.
It's not just the ear thing.
It's also the look in the eyes.
I'd know it anywhere.
Oh, yes.
What exactly are you trying to say, Maurice? Reincarnation, Holling.
Don't ask me how, but someway, somehow, your Miranda is my Uncle Elvy come back again.
How about that? We thought if we could sell off a couple of acres, maybe even seven or eight.
We can make enough money to qualify for our loan.
Since you know the market, we'd be happy to let you handle the sale.
Yeah? Michelle and I thought this would be a pretty desirable parcel, and you got that little lake over there.
You know, you've got the mountain, and they tell me there's a waterfall in the summertime.
Yeah, Phil? I'm just a little puzzled, I mean, why do you think someone would want this piece of property? Why? It's beautiful.
It's pristine.
Well, yeah.
Well, who wouldn't want this kind of piece of property? Well, Phil, look.
See, you're way out here.
And there's not a decent road, and you're not on the grid.
You're joking, right? Come on, Maggie.
People in LA would kill for a piece of property like this.
We can put an ad in The Hollywood Reporter.
All right.
Okay, I'll try.
Okay, good.
Yeah.
Good.
Phil? Get Get me out of here! Okay, okay, okay, okay, you're fine, you're fine.
You're fine.
I can't move.
Okay, yes, you can.
Yes, you can.
Try to take a deep breath.
Okay? I can't breathe.
Relax, relax, relax.
Can you turn around? Look, I know my way around here.
Really, really well.
It's okay.
Breathe, take a deep breath, relax.
Try to relax.
Okay? Deep breath.
See, see It's okay.
I just feel so ridiculous.
I'm sorry, Maggie.
I'm so sorry.
Oh, listen, it's all right.
I'm so embarrassed.
Don't be embarrassed.
God, I haven't had an anxiety attack like that in years, not since the audit.
Here, take the valium, honey.
Okay? Well, listen, if you guys don't need me, I'll just be going, okay? Thank you, Maggie.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
I'll walk you to the door.
You'll be okay for a sec? Yeah.
Okay.
Well, thanks again, Maggie.
I really appreciate it.
Look, if he needs to see a doctor, I'll be happy to fly him.
Yeah, okay.
Maggie Was it you who gave me this nice parka and boots? No.
Oh, any idea who might have? No.
Looks warm, though.
Yeah.
Okay, well, thanks.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let me know.
I will.
Bye.
All right, bye.
How are you feeling? Better.
Yeah? Yeah.
You're sure it was an anxiety attack? Oh, textbook presentation.
Palpitations, tremors, an overwhelming sense of terror.
I wonder what caused it? I think it was the woods.
The woods? You mean like agoraphobia? No, worse than that.
Nature.
Naturaphobia.
You're afraid of nature? Those huge trees.
The mountains.
All those animal noises.
It was almost as if the entire ecosystem were trying to devour me.
Phil My God, Michelle.
We just bought Phil, honey, I'm sure it's just a passing thing.
And it probably wasn't nature.
It was probably something that you really weren't even aware of, you know? All the times that we went skiing in Vale.
This never happened, you didn't have this problem.
Yeah, yeah, maybe you're right.
A lot of anxiety is free floating.
Maybe it's not nature or the land.
Maybe it's my blood sugar.
Right, yeah.
Better? Yeah, yeah.
Phil, let me ask you something.
How would you feel if someone gave you some clothes anonymously? What? This afternoon there was a box on the front porch and it was addressed to me.
There was an old parka in it and a pair of boots.
And this was in it, too.
"I thought you could use these.
" Pretty low, huh? Low? They think that I can't see through this? Phil? Anonymous gifts, anonymous suggestions.
They're hostile.
That parka is a comment.
It says, "I don't like what you wear.
I want you to dress like the rest of us.
" Well, Michelle, you are cold a lot of the time.
You know, it couldn't hurt you to dress more warmly.
Maybe Well, Phil, my comfort level is nobody's business but mine.
I'm gonna find out who did this? My little angel is asleep.
Already? I'll get it.
Maurice? Hello, Holling.
Shelly.
I brought a few trinkets here for Miranda.
Is she about? It's past her bedtime.
She's in dreamland, Maurice.
Oh, well, I'll show you then.
Here, that's Patrick the Pup.
He's a little item from FAO Schwarz.
I thought she might like snuggling up to that.
How thoughtful.
And you can throw away all those hand-me-downs she's been wearing.
Here, I've got a baker's dozen of these.
They're Marie Guerin, a Parisian designer.
She's the Lagerfeld of the under 12 set.
Wow.
And the salesclerk at Saks told me that little girls still like their Barbies, so I got this Queen of Hearts Barbie with a wardrobe designed by Bob Mackie.
Kind of fetching, don't you think? Cool.
There's a lot more stuff here, too.
That's very generous, Maurice.
Oh, it's entirely my pleasure.
Is this that Uncle Elvy thing? Well, it may sound strange, Shelly, but there's a lot of other people who believe in reincarnation, too.
You know, George Patton always thought he was a soldier in Alexander's army at the siege of Tyre.
Maurice, I got to tell you, Father Perrone says reincarnation is bogus.
Well, there's a billion Hindus that will argue that point with Father Perrone all day long.
You know, when I first visited Versailles, about 30 years ago, I had the strangest feeling, a kind of an eerie familiarity about the place.
I don't know whether I was Louis XIV or Marie Antoinette, or maybe a lowly groundskeeper, but I had lived there.
Be that as it may, Maurice.
It's a little far-fetched to think that Randi is your uncle.
I wouldn't stake my life on it, Holling, but, humor me on this, will you? You have no idea how much Uncle Elvy meant to me.
The man taught me to read.
Without him, I'd still be on the farm.
Whether Randi is or isn't, I plan to take a personal interest in the child from now on.
Good night.
Good night.
Sleep tight.
So, we'll probably have to replace the rings and bore it.
Yeah, probably got to do a valve job.
So, you seeing anybody? What? Seeing anybody? You mean, like a guy? Yeah.
Hand me that ratchet with the five eights.
Okay.
Here you go.
Thanks.
No.
No.
After that business with Fleischman and my history with men, I just decided to give, you know, the male-female thing a rest.
Yeah, I can dig it.
Why? Why do you ask? No reason.
Not really.
This car puts the whole male-female thing into perspective, huh? It does? Well, Cicely and Roslyn.
They drive up here in that Model T, 1909.
No Alcan, no No Stuckey's.
No roadside assistance.
I mean, you throw a rod on that 2,000-mile stretch from Billings to here, you belong to the bears.
Yeah? Well, they did it.
No less than Hannibal crossing the Alps.
They did it themselves.
Men need not apply.
Yeah, see, men.
Who needs them? Who needs them? Hello, Phil.
Maurice.
How was that champagne? Oh, thank you, it was wonderful, thanks.
Listen, I got to talk to you.
You know, there's something I intended to give you when we closed, but I forgot.
It seems that little piece of land of yours is kind of famous.
Oh? Claybourne, the representative from New Mexico, was fishing up there about 10 years ago, got caught in an avalanche.
It took the search and rescue people two days to dig him out of there.
A miraculous thing was that he was alive.
Died on the way to the hospital.
You can keep that if you'd like.
Thanks, Maurice.
Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about, the property.
We've had second thoughts.
It's a little late for that, isn't it? Well, I know we've closed and You know, I'm assuming there'd be a penalty of course, but Michelle and I were going over the finances and it seems like we've bitten off a little more than we can chew right now, you know.
Plus, there's the larger issue of commitment.
I'm not sure that we're ready to put down those kinds of roots, yet.
You know, I've always lived in big cities and I'm having trouble visualizing myself as a country boy, you know? Mmm-hmm.
So, you know, you can just write out a check and deduct of course, something for your trouble, that'd be fine.
Phil, that'd be the easiest thing in the world for me to return your money and take back that land.
Well, good, good.
But it would be a disservice to you.
No, no, no, it wouldn't.
You know, you remind me of myself when I first came up here.
I went out and bought my first 800 acres.
I leveraged myself to the max.
Don't think I didn't feel some panic every once in a while, but it worked out fine for me, didn't it? Now if I allowed you to crawl out of this deal, sometime, somewhere, you'd wonder, if you could have made it yourself.
Uh There you are, Ruth-Anne.
Listen, do you know, did we get any mail? No delivery today, Michelle.
Red Murphy had to jettison his cargo.
Jettison? He dumped the mail? His wings were icing, he was losing altitude.
You look cozy in that.
You? It was you, Ruth-Anne? What? You gave me this parka? Me? No.
Somebody gave it to you? Yeah.
Yeah, anonymously.
Have you ever heard of anything so sneaky? Sneaky? Well, obviously the person was too much of a coward to tell me to my face that I stick out.
You know, a city slicker.
I don't think you should assume that.
I know a lot of people who do nice things anonymously.
You do? They just don't want to be thanked 'cause it makes them uncomfortable.
Really? Mmm-hmm.
I remember last year Rusty Keyes was out of work.
Every Thursday for three months, someone left a freshly killed animal on his porch.
He never did find out who the Good Samaritan was.
Huh.
Well, maybe you're right.
Yeah, thanks, Ruth-Anne.
You're welcome.
Bernice? You left your hat? Bernice? Oh, Michelle, I thought you were Bernice Crandle.
No.
She left her hat.
There she is.
Bernice, don't forget your hat.
Oh, thanks, Holling.
Michelle? In here.
You know I've been thinking a lot about that prayer.
You know, that prayer you see on greeting cards all the time? Mmm-hmm.
Oh, God, give me the serenity to accept what cannot be changed, and the courage to change what can be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference.
That's nice, honey.
Acceptance, that's what's important.
And I'm just going to have to accept the fact that Maurice is not gonna take his land back.
What? Oh.
Nothing.
It's not important.
What are you doing? I am packing these horrible clothes away and getting them out of my sight.
Oh? I don't care who gave them to me, how good their intentions were.
Maybe it was the Mother Teresa of the North, but let me tell you, Phil, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
Can you put the square in the box? Good girl, Randi.
Shelly? Hey, H.
, check out this gizmo Maurice give Miranda.
Show Daddy.
Shelly, Randi's going to get tired of that thing with all those gadgets and the noise.
Look what I made her.
Oh.
Randi, look what Daddy made you.
Yeah, hi, there.
What shall we call it? Jimmy or bunny? Oh, I'll get it.
Love little Jimmy bunny.
Good evening, Ms.
Vincoeur.
I'm Jerry Moore, Maurice Minnifield's broker.
May I? Oh, sure.
Hi.
Jerry Moore.
Maurice had me up for a little year-end planning.
I thought I'd stop by.
Pleased to meet you.
Oh, that must be Miranda.
It certainly is.
She's a very lucky little girl.
Maurice has started a growth portfolio for her.
These are all stocks that he owns and has done very well with them.
What do you mean? Here's a statement of the stocks that Miranda owns.
Now, the account's in her name with Maurice as custodian since she's still a minor.
Let me get this straight, now.
These are stocks that Maurice bought for my daughter? That's right.
$10,000 worth.
Here's my card.
Call me if you have any questions.
I'm in the office by 6:00 every morning.
Thanks.
Hi, Dr.
Capra.
What can I get you? Dr.
Capra? You know, Eugene, there was this little juice bar in the mini mall next to my office in Santa Monica.
Mmm-hmm.
And every afternoon, I'd run down there between patients, and I would treat myself to a fresh mango-apricot shake.
Mmm.
Sounds good.
That's what I'd like, Eugene.
A fresh mango-apricot shake.
I'm sorry, Dr.
Capra.
No mangos, no apricots.
Well, this is a restaurant, isn't it? You must have fresh fruit.
Just apples.
Pippins.
Why don't you check in the kitchen? Maybe you missed the mangos.
No.
I just did the produce run for this week.
No mangos, no apricots.
You know something, Eugene? Yeah, Dr.
Capra? I hate this place.
How's that? I hate this place.
I hate this place! I hate this place.
Hello, Maurice.
Holling? What's all this? I brought back your gifts.
Those stock things from your broker are there on the desk.
You're returning Miranda's portfolio? Well, I appreciate your generosity but I can't take them.
Why not? You've gone beyond the bounds of what I consider to be acceptable gift-giving, Maurice.
Holling, I'm a wealthy man.
I can afford a few frocks.
It's not the cost.
It's the thought behind them.
Does Shelly know about this? What does she think? Shelly's a trusting person, Maurice.
She takes things at face value.
She doesn't suspect ulterior motives in people.
Ulterior motives? Holling, I'm just trying to do what's right by Uncle Elvy.
Maurice, we both know that this has nothing to do with Uncle Elvy.
You know, you've got a slate loose, Holling.
Have you given any thought to Miranda? Do you know what you're depriving your daughter of? Well, you got one thing right.
She's my daughter.
Just what the hell is that supposed to mean? Maurice, you're my friend.
I'm sorry if you felt grief over losing Shelly, but she's my wife.
And Randi's our child.
I hope she's got her mother's sense, because her father's a damn fool.
Oh, would you hand me the push pins, please? Yeah, sure.
Thank you.
Maybe you'd better get inside and get warm.
I can finish this.
No, I'm fine, really.
I think I just need to acclimate.
You know, when your feet are cold, you'll be cold.
Oh, actually my feet are fine.
In those thin little boots? Well, they were cold, but I guess they got used to it.
I can hardly feel them at all now.
I think we should go see Phil.
A doctor ought to look at your feet.
A doctor, why? Well, from what you just said, I think you have frostbite.
Frostbite? Really? We probably caught it in time.
Let me help you.
Now, you want to walk very, very carefully.
Okay.
We don't want to do any damage.
You okay? Yeah.
Okay, let me see.
Does it hurt? There's no sign of gangrene.
Gangrene? I said there's no sign of gangrene.
I'm going to put you on some ampicillin and keep you off your feet for a while.
You should feel better.
Let me have the other one.
I feel so stupid.
This is all my fault.
Why? You weren't the one trying to tame the Yukon in Clergerie ankle boots.
I brought you here to this Arctic wasteland.
This frozen jungle.
No, honey, we came together.
I wanted to come just as much as you did.
We've ruined our lives, Michelle.
Idaho is as far north as we should have gone.
Now we're trapped here and there's no escape.
Phil It's not just the contract.
We'll just never get out from under.
Every cent we had is socked away into a piece of land that paralyzes me with terror.
So we'll sell the land.
Nobody wants to buy the land.
It's an albatross around our necks.
Now we have gone down the rabbit hole, Michelle, and look where we ended up.
In a place where moose copulate with cars.
A place where people just drop the US mail out of airplanes.
A place where log tossing is considered high culture.
We have gone down the rabbit hole.
And there's no way out.
I'm closed, Maurice.
I just came in to get this bonnet.
What do you think? Hmm.
It's for Founder's Day.
I really like the cutaway and derby you wore last year.
Don't you have any English toffees? Good Lord.
Right under your nose.
Hmm.
I see the lights still on above The Brick.
I guess they're putting Miranda to bed right now.
Holling and Shelly.
Bending over her, tucking her in.
Is this about that Uncle Elvy business? You know about that? Shelly mentioned it.
I swear Maurice, what Holling puts up with from you.
Holling? Well, I'm the injured party here.
Throwing my gifts back in my face like that.
You're lucky he didn't knock your block off.
The way you've been trying to make him out to be some kind of a metaphysical cuckold.
Now you hold on just a minute here.
Because you can't have your own child with Shelly, what do you do? You try to stake a claim on this one.
Uncle Elvy, my eye.
Anybody who ever knew my uncle would think the same thing.
Maurice, you're a lonely man with a lot of regrets and you're trying to buy your way into a family.
I don't blame you.
Most people want a family.
Look, why don't you come over and have a late supper with Walt and me? Come on.
It's open! Hi, Mrs.
Capra.
Hello, Dr.
Capra.
Hey, Ed.
Phil's remodeling the kitchen.
Oh, how are your feet? Oh, kind of a pins and needles feeling, Ed.
But I'm taking ibuprofen.
Oh, good.
Here, I brought this for you.
Don't tell me, parka and boots? Huh? Nothing.
Costumes for the Founder's Day parade.
Costumes? Yep.
Well, you know, I figured you and Dr.
Capra had a pretty hard week.
The woods, the car, your feet.
So, I didn't think you'd have a chance to get anything together.
I found this stuff in the basement of Ruth-Anne's store.
Well, that's really very kind of you, Ed.
But I don't think we'll be going to Founder's Day.
No? No.
Well, it's kind of hard for me to get around and Phil Well, he says he's not gonna stop until he's made this place more livable, so Oh.
Well, I'll just leave it and then if you guys change your mind.
Okay.
See you later.
Bye, Dr.
Capra.
See you, Ed.
Well? You want the honors? No, you found her.
Okay.
Here I go.
You know, I was just thinking about what I said the other day about Cicely and Roslyn.
Yeah? You know, about their not needing men.
I mean, it's true.
They didn't need men, but that's not the point.
I mean, they didn't need men 'cause, you know, they had each other.
Yeah, you're right.
I mean, you know, a significant other.
Right? That's the thing.
You know, it doesn't matter if the cat's in pants or peddle pushers.
I don't think we're supposed to fly solo.
Hey, are you ready? Yeah.
All right! We did it! High five if you know you're alive.
Michelle, I was just thinking, as soon as I'm done in here, I could start right in on the bathroom.
We could put in all new fixtures and pull out all that tile.
Well, it will have to wait, honey.
You need to pop down to the office and pick up that old wheelchair.
What for? We're going to the Founder's Day parade.
What? Hand me my lipstick, will you? Michelle.
I have absolutely no desire to participate in anything that celebrates this gulag.
You know, my mother used to say that it's too bad that men don't get to wear lipstick.
No matter how bad things got, you can put on your lipstick, feel better and face the world.
Did you know that when the Titanic was sinking, women went to their staterooms and did their lips? What is this about, Michelle? Okay, Cicely is not the pastoral Shangri-la that we expected.
It's I don't know what it is, but we're here.
And we're not going anywhere.
We're going to make the best of it.
Right.
Come here and sit down, please.
This isn't capitulation.
We can still be who we are.
See, I've been thinking a lot about that sock.
What sock? Roslyn's.
Here was this strong-willed, independent woman who cared so much about her personal appearance, that everything else be damned, she was gonna have a matching pair of socks.
And what was born out of this independence, this attention to detail? A town, Phil.
A town.
Roslyn's story made me see that if you have courage and you maintain your essence, your sense of fashion, nothing gets the best of you.
Michelle, my problem goes a lot deeper than a lack of accessories.
Maybe.
Yeah.
But you're not alone.
You've got me.
We're going out there and face this place together.
Hi.
Hello, Holling.
Shelly.
You know, I was watching Miranda the other day in front of the juke box there in The Brick, clapping her hands to Jerry Lee Lewis' Great Balls of Fire.
Yeah? Well, my Uncle Elvy was a staunch Southern Baptist and he took a strong stand against rock 'n' roll.
Obviously, there's no connection between my uncle and your daughter.
I must have made a mistake.
Well, I suppose that can happen.
Enjoy the parade.
Thank you, Maurice.
Randi, look, there's the parade.
Wait there, hon, I'll help you.
I can get to the wheelchair.
No, no, no.
Come on.
You okay? Eugene, have you seen Shelly? Yeah, she's with Holling, watching the parade.
What? She's supposed to be my Cicely.
I don't know.
Oh, man.
Maggie.
Chris? It's hard to run in a dress.
What are you doing? I'm Cicely.
Let's do it.
Let's.
Very nice.
Thanks.