Regular Show (2010) s06e16 Episode Script

1 All right.
Best movie crash scene of all time.
Best movie crash scene of all time.
Go! Time.
Go! It's got to be go! It's got to be "full metal impact.
" It's got to be "full metal impact.
" "Full metal "full metal impact.
" "Full metal impact"! "Full metal impact"! impact"! Chugga chugga chugga chugga [ screeching .]
Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga! Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga! Chugga chugga chugga chugga! Never saw that one.
Never saw that one.
What?! Never saw that one.
What?! Maybe I'll pick it up What?! Maybe I'll pick it up on vhs.
Maybe I'll pick it up on vhs.
Ohhh! On vhs.
Ohhh! Benson, we're all Ohhh! Benson, we're all deeply offended by that word you Benson, we're all deeply offended by that word you just said.
Deeply offended by that word you just said.
What "vhs"? Just said.
What "vhs"? Ohhh! What "vhs"? Ohhh! What?! Ohhh! What?! Didn't you learn What?! Didn't you learn anything from the format wars? Didn't you learn anything from the format wars? When was that? Anything from the format wars? When was that? I don't know! When was that? I don't know! You guys never include me in I don't know! You guys never include me in stuff outside of work.
You guys never include me in stuff outside of work.
If you want to stuff outside of work.
If you want to watch it, you got to watch it on If you want to watch it, you got to watch it on the best format out there.
Watch it, you got to watch it on the best format out there.
What format is that? - The best format out there.
- What format is that? - What format is that? - Well, well well.
Well, well well.
If it isn't the disc masters.
Well, well well.
If it isn't the disc masters.
Hey, man.
If it isn't the disc masters.
Hey, man.
One copy of "full metal impact" Hey, man.
One copy of "full metal impact" on laserdisc, please.
One copy of "full metal impact" on laserdisc, please.
Excellent choice.
On laserdisc, please.
Excellent choice.
And here it is.
Excellent choice.
And here it is.
Thanks.
And here it is.
Thanks.
Oh, I can't hold it in! Thanks.
Oh, I can't hold it in! Things been so wonderful lately! Oh, I can't hold it in! Things been so wonderful lately! Thanks to you, you can't go things been so wonderful lately! Thanks to you, you can't go anywhere without seeing a thanks to you, you can't go anywhere without seeing a laserdisc! Anywhere without seeing a laserdisc! Cool, man.
Laserdisc! Cool, man.
Can we just get Cool, man.
Can we just get oh, right.
Can we just get oh, right.
So, what else is new, oh, right.
So, what else is new, dude? So, what else is new, dude? Well, you know, funny you dude? Well, you know, funny you should bring it up.
Well, you know, funny you should bring it up.
I recently saw something should bring it up.
I recently saw something troubling.
I recently saw something troubling.
It's in the tapestry.
Troubling.
It's in the tapestry.
See, back here is the first it's in the tapestry.
See, back here is the first prophecy.
See, back here is the first prophecy.
Here you're defeating vhs during prophecy.
Here you're defeating vhs during the great format wars of three here you're defeating vhs during the great format wars of three months ago.
The great format wars of three months ago.
There's me in my laserdisc months ago.
There's me in my laserdisc guardian form.
There's me in my laserdisc guardian form.
And there I am undergoing guardian form.
And there I am undergoing painful surgery to look human and there I am undergoing painful surgery to look human again.
Painful surgery to look human again.
Say, who's that handsome devil? - Again.
- Say, who's that handsome devil? - Say, who's that handsome devil? - And here we are at the second And here we are at the second prophecy something about a and here we are at the second prophecy something about a second format war, a new format prophecy something about a second format war, a new format rising, and it all begins with second format war, a new format rising, and it all begins with the arrival of a fifth disc rising, and it all begins with the arrival of a fifth disc master.
The arrival of a fifth disc master.
- Master.
- Hey, guys.
Hey, guys.
You get the movie yet? - Hey, guys.
- You get the movie yet? - You get the movie yet? - Huh? No, they just ran out of Huh? No, they just ran out of paper towels.
Huh? No, they just ran out of paper towels.
Benson, could you paper towels.
Benson, could you move over there for a sec? Benson, could you move over there for a sec? Now go like this.
Move over there for a sec? Now go like this.
We must gather the remaining Now go like this.
We must gather the remaining obsolete formats.
We must gather the remaining obsolete formats.
War is coming.
Obsolete formats.
War is coming.
[ Mid-tempo synthesizer music war is coming.
Now, according to the second prophecy, a new format will rise and seek total domination.
Prophecy, a new format will rise and seek total domination.
The only way to stop it is with rise and seek total domination.
The only way to stop it is with the universal remote.
The only way to stop it is with the universal remote.
Whoa! The universal remote.
Whoa! Aah! Whoa! Aah! My brothers! Ugh! Aah! My brothers! Ugh! Micro fiche! - My brothers! Ugh! - Micro fiche! - Micro fiche! - What is this? What is this? New format Called Dvd! What is this? New format Called Dvd! The prophecy! - New format Called Dvd! - The prophecy! - The prophecy! - He has a new weapon called He has a new weapon called "special features.
" He has a new weapon called "special features.
" "Special features.
" No! No! The hour is near.
Hurry, my brothers! Are you sure about hurry, my brothers! Are you sure about this? Are you sure about this? Yes.
This? Yes.
So Now what? Yes.
So Now what? Now"The universal remote So Now what? Now"The universal remote shall be revealed.
Now"The universal remote shall be revealed.
Ugh! Shall be revealed.
Ugh! This is ridiculous! Ugh! This is ridiculous! Rigby, put me Down? - This is ridiculous! - Rigby, put me Down? - Rigby, put me Down? - Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! - Whoa! - Sam's electronics.
Sam's electronics.
Of course! Sam's electronics.
Of course! Hurry, disc masters! Of course! Hurry, disc masters! Hurry, disc masters! Nice work, guys! Nice work, guys! - Nice work, guys! - Whoa! Whoa! Behold the universal Whoa! Behold the universal remote.
Behold the universal remote.
Looks like a remote.
Looks like a "sword in the stone" type deal.
Looks like a "sword in the stone" type deal.
Since I'm clearly the strongest, "sword in the stone" type deal.
Since I'm clearly the strongest, I'll probably have no problem since I'm clearly the strongest, I'll probably have no problem pulling it out.
I'll probably have no problem pulling it out.
Pulling it out.
Ugh! Ohhh.
Ugh! Ohhh.
Disc masters, remember the ugh! Ohhh.
Disc masters, remember the tapestry.
Disc masters, remember the tapestry.
There's only one person who can tapestry.
There's only one person who can free the remote.
There's only one person who can free the remote.
Dude, Benson, free the remote.
Dude, Benson, it's you.
Dude, Benson, it's you.
Yeah, dude.
It's you.
Yeah, dude.
Ugh.
Seriously? Yeah, dude.
Ugh.
Seriously? Ugh.
Seriously? I actually did it.
I actually did it.
Muscle man couldn't even do it, I actually did it.
Muscle man couldn't even do it, and I actually did it! Muscle man couldn't even do it, and I actually did it! You guys go through this every and I actually did it! You guys go through this every time you want to watch a you guys go through this every time you want to watch a laserdisc? Time you want to watch a laserdisc? Yeah, pretty much.
Laserdisc? Yeah, pretty much.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, pretty much.
Mm-hmm.
Not so fast, guardians! Mm-hmm.
Not so fast, guardians! We've got you surrounded! Not so fast, guardians! We've got you surrounded! Give up! We've got you surrounded! Give up! Who are you? Give up! Who are you? Are you really that dense, who are you? Are you really that dense, old man? Are you really that dense, old man? Micro fiche knew who I was.
Old man? Micro fiche knew who I was.
Micro fiche knew who I was.
Way to crack the Jewel case, Way to crack the Jewel case, laserdisc Holmes.
Way to crack the Jewel case, laserdisc Holmes.
Or should I say Laserdisc Holmes.
Or should I say Sherlock, father?! Or should I say Sherlock, father?! I Have a son? Sherlock, father?! I Have a son? Why am I not surprised? I Have a son? Why am I not surprised? Another cheap knock-off of the why am I not surprised? Another cheap knock-off of the real deal! Another cheap knock-off of the real deal! Cheap knock-off?! Real deal! Cheap knock-off?! Not only do I hold more data cheap knock-off?! Not only do I hold more data than you, I'm smaller and more not only do I hold more data than you, I'm smaller and more compact, too.
Than you, I'm smaller and more compact, too.
- Compact, too.
- Hate to break it to you, kid.
Hate to break it to you, kid.
All through history, man has hate to break it to you, kid.
All through history, man has favored large things large all through history, man has favored large things large horses, large bank accounts, favored large things large horses, large bank accounts, large ice cream sundaes.
Horses, large bank accounts, large ice cream sundaes.
Nobody's gonna want this.
Large ice cream sundaes.
Nobody's gonna want this.
Size matters! Nobody's gonna want this.
Size matters! Laserdiscs are size matters! Laserdiscs are everywhere now.
Laserdiscs are everywhere now.
Yeah! Everywhere now.
Yeah! Good luck having people switch Yeah! Good luck having people switch to "DVD.
" Good luck having people switch to "DVD.
" Probably stands for to "DVD.
" Probably stands for "disc that's very dumb.
" Probably stands for "disc that's very dumb.
" Wh-o-o-o-o-o-o-oa! "Disc that's very dumb.
" Wh-o-o-o-o-o-o-oa! It stands for Wh-o-o-o-o-o-o-oa! It stands for "digital versatile disc.
" It stands for "digital versatile disc.
" You'll know DVD soon enough.
"Digital versatile disc.
" You'll know DVD soon enough.
- You'll know DVD soon enough.
- Meet my new ally Internet! Meet my new ally Internet! Neutralize obsolete formats.
Meet my new ally Internet! Neutralize obsolete formats.
Lol.
Neutralize obsolete formats.
Lol.
With Internet controlling my lol.
With Internet controlling my army via Wi-Fi, the world will with Internet controlling my army via Wi-Fi, the world will quickly know DVD.
Army via Wi-Fi, the world will quickly know DVD.
Bow down to your new master, quickly know DVD.
Bow down to your new master, father.
Bow down to your new master, father.
Never! Father.
Never! Okay.
Can we just never! Okay.
Can we just look, I don't know if you know, Okay.
Can we just look, I don't know if you know, but I'm the fifth disc master, look, I don't know if you know, but I'm the fifth disc master, so Dvd, say good night! But I'm the fifth disc master, so Dvd, say good night! So Dvd, say good night! What's going on? What's going on? Enter DVD device code.
What's going on? Enter DVD device code.
How do we get the enter DVD device code.
How do we get the device codes?! How do we get the device codes?! - Device codes?! - Uhh Uhh Uhh Prepare to become obsolete.
Prepare to become obsolete.
The all-format army! Prepare to become obsolete.
The all-format army! Not so fast, DVD! The all-format army! Not so fast, DVD! Who's that? Not so fast, DVD! Who's that? That's eniac, the first Who's that? That's eniac, the first digital computer.
That's eniac, the first digital computer.
You didn't expect us old formats digital computer.
You didn't expect us old formats to step aside while you make you didn't expect us old formats to step aside while you make these poor video-store clerks to step aside while you make these poor video-store clerks learn a new format, did you?! These poor video-store clerks learn a new format, did you?! Yeah! They're not paying us learn a new format, did you?! Yeah! They're not paying us enough to learn new stuff, man! Yeah! They're not paying us enough to learn new stuff, man! Cha-a-a-a-a-a-a-rge! Enough to learn new stuff, man! Cha-a-a-a-a-a-a-rge! Eniac! Attack! Eniac! Attack! Attack! What's the status of the DVD What's the status of the DVD code? What's the status of the DVD code? These instructions code? These instructions are really complicated.
These instructions are really complicated.
I'm on it.
Are really complicated.
I'm on it.
What's the tech-support number? I'm on it.
What's the tech-support number? Take shelter! What's the tech-support number? Take shelter! We'll hold 'em off till you find take shelter! We'll hold 'em off till you find the code.
Initiate firewall.
Enter device code.
Stop talking! Enter device code.
Stop talking! Person I want to Stop talking! Person I want to speak to a live person! Person I want to speak to a live person! Speak to a live person! Ohhhhh! Ohhhhh! Universal remote tech desk.
Ohhhhh! Universal remote tech desk.
How may I help you? Universal remote tech desk.
How may I help you? Finally! How may I help you? Finally! No! - Finally! - No! - No! - Eject the disc fighters! You're all mine, DVD! Ha! That was just an Ha! That was just an alternate ending.
Ha! That was just an alternate ending.
Here's how it really ends! Why am I doing this? Why am I doing this? Because you left me and mom when why am I doing this? Because you left me and mom when I was just a mini disc! Because you left me and mom when I was just a mini disc! Where were you when my product I was just a mini disc! Where were you when my product launched? Where were you when my product launched? Where were you when I said my launched? Where were you when I said my first words? Where were you when I said my first words? - First words? - What were they? What were they? "Laserdisc rules.
" What were they? "Laserdisc rules.
" So Yeah.
"Laserdisc rules.
" So Yeah.
So Yeah.
You're sorry? You're sorry? You're sorry? And you want to start the And you want to start the road to healing? And you want to start the road to healing? Oh, dad, I - Road to healing? - Oh, dad, I Oh, dad, I Fathe-e-e-e-e-e-r! Fathe-e-e-e-e-e-r! This wasn't part of the plan! Fathe-e-e-e-e-e-r! This wasn't part of the plan! All obsolete formats must be this wasn't part of the plan! All obsolete formats must be neutralized.
All obsolete formats must be neutralized.
I'm not obsolete, idiot! Neutralized.
I'm not obsolete, idiot! All obsolete formats must be I'm not obsolete, idiot! All obsolete formats must be neutralized.
All obsolete formats must be neutralized.
Stop saying that! Neutralized.
Stop saying that! Special features! - Stop saying that! - Special features! - Special features! - Nobody cares about special Nobody cares about special features.
Nobody cares about special features.
Only content matters.
Features.
Only content matters.
I can stream it directly to only content matters.
I can stream it directly to their PC, laptop, or tablet.
I can stream it directly to their PC, laptop, or tablet.
TV is dead, and so are you.
Their PC, laptop, or tablet.
TV is dead, and so are you.
Have a heart! TV is dead, and so are you.
Have a heart! Have a heart! 404.
Not found.
404.
Not found.
Streaming content.
- 404.
Not found.
- Streaming content.
- Streaming content.
- Try this one Try this one Try this one 73928.
Look lively, troo-o-o-o-ps.
73928.
Look lively, troo-o-o-o-ps.
Aah! Look lively, troo-o-o-o-ps.
Aah! It's like we got all the codes Aah! It's like we got all the codes except DVD! It's like we got all the codes except DVD! Come on! - Except DVD! - Come on! Come on! I've made a terrible mistake.
I've made a terrible mistake.
Internet is unstoppable! I've made a terrible mistake.
Internet is unstoppable! Why should we Internet is unstoppable! Why should we help you? Why should we help you? If you don't, the world will help you? If you don't, the world will have to settle for poorly if you don't, the world will have to settle for poorly compressed video on the web Have to settle for poorly compressed video on the web Forever.
Compressed video on the web Forever.
Look, Internet's power comes forever.
Look, Internet's power comes from his Wi-Fi server.
Look, Internet's power comes from his Wi-Fi server.
Wi-Fi Server.
- From his Wi-Fi server.
- Wi-Fi Server.
- Wi-Fi Server.
- DVD, give us your code! DVD, give us your code! Yeah-eah! - DVD, give us your code! - Yeah-eah! Yeah-eah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Ugh! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Ugh! Termination incomplete.
Ugh! Termination incomplete.
Must neutralize all threats.
Termination incomplete.
Must neutralize all threats.
Rigby The remote.
Must neutralize all threats.
Rigby The remote.
Remote cannot control Rigby The remote.
Remote cannot control Internet.
Remote cannot control Internet.
But we can control Internet.
But we can control everything else.
But we can control everything else.
Guys, now! Everything else.
Guys, now! Guys, now! Losing signal.
Losing signal.
No! - Losing signal.
- No! No! Nooooo! Nooooo! The disc masters have nooooo! The disc masters have triumphed! The disc masters have triumphed! The format wars are over at triumphed! The format wars are over at last! The format wars are over at last! Last! [ "The stars and stripes [ "Forever" plays .]
That was awesome! That was awesome! That was awesome! Fidelity is not a priority Fidelity is not a priority for consumers.
Fidelity is not a priority for consumers.
Free streaming content will for consumers.
Free streaming content will conquer all.