The Sopranos s06e16 Episode Script
Chasing It
( rattling ) Croupier: - Man: NO! - YES! MOTHERFUCKER! FUCKING NAILED IT, T! JESUS, 23.
SOPHIA'S BIRTHDAY.
I SHOULDA HAD THAT.
GOT IT LIKE FIVE WAYS THERE.
SIX.
HE'S ON RED, TOO.
- YOU COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER.
- WHAT HAPPENED? - TONY HIT ONE STRAIGHT UP.
- FINALLY.
DOT YOU SPILL THOSE.
- YOU WANNA TAKE IT OR PLAY IT? - LET'S PLAY IT.
- ALL RIGHT.
- ALL RIGHT, MY MAN.
- Bacala: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING? - YOU GOTTA RIDE THAT.
( rattling ) - All RIGHT, ONE MORE TIME.
- All: COME ON.
- Man: DO IT AGAIN! - Man #2: COME ON.
- Man: 23.
- Man #2: COME ON, COME ON.
Man: COME ON, BOUNCE.
- Man #2: DO IT AGAIN! - Man: COME ON, 23.
- 11.
- ( men groan ) - FUCKING CHRIST.
- JEEZ.
DOUCHEBAGS ARE TAKING IT ALL BACK TONIGHT.
WHAT THE FUCK, VITO? YOU ALMOST HIT ME.
TIMBER, MOTHERFUCKER! ( laughing ) Policeman: STOP RIGHT THERE! POOR BOY'S DELIGHT AND SHE FUCKING COMES IN.
OOF.
LOOK AT THIS MEZZA-MORT.
Tony: OH, HEY.
- SIL.
- HOW ARE YOU, BABY? - Silvio: GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- Tony: HEY.
SIT DOWN.
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? A COFFEE OR A BUN? I'LL LET YOU TWO TALK.
SO.
I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU LETTING ME SEE YOU.
AND YOU'VE BEEN SO DECENT ABOUT EVERYTHING SINCE VITO DEATH.
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHO ELSE-- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, MARIE.
- WHAT CAN I DO? - IT'S LITTLE V.
THE SOCIAL WORKER SAYS HE'S JUST ACTING OUT.
- SOCIAL WORKER? - BOY STF MOSTLY, BUT SO ANGRY.
ALTHOUGH SOME OF WHAT HE'S BEING ACCUSED OF IS JUST PERSECUTION.
EY CLAIM THAT HE HUNG THE PETRUZZO'S CAT ON THEIR GARAGE DOOR ( sniffs ) BUT IT'S TOTALLY UNFOUNDED.
- ( sobbing ) - WELL, YOU KNOW, IN A WAY, IT'S TO BE EXPECTED, WITH VITO PASSING AND ALL THAT THAT ENTRAILED.
I THINK THE ONLY SOLUTION IS TO MOVE AWAY FROM THAT HOUSE AND THE KIDS AT SCHOOL.
( sighs ) I FIGURED IT OUT, AND I KNOW IT'S A LOT, BUT FOR $100,000, WE CAN BE SOMEPLACE WHERE NO ONE KNOWS HIM OR WHAT HAPPENED.
MY FRIEND CHERYL LIVES IN ORONO, MAINE, BY THE UNIVERSITY.
AND THERE IS THIS TWO-STORY CAPE, WITH SOLID SCHOOLS.
YOU ALWAYS SAID IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU COULD DO SURE.
HAVE YOU TALKED TO HIS UNCLE? - WHO? - PHIL.
PHIL'S NOT HIS UNCLE.
HIM AND I ARE SECOND COUSINS.
BEFORE WE GET TOO DRASTIC HERE AND UPROOT LITTLE VITO AND ALL OF YOU FROM YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR FAMILY, - I SHOULD TALK TO HIM.
- HE'S IMPOSSIBLE TO TALK TO.
IT'S NOT EASY TO SUBSTITUTE FOR A DAD.
I KNOW.
BUT MAYBE I CAN FILL IN HERE.
OKAY, BUT YOU'LL THINK ABOUT IT? BELIEVE ME, I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU, AND HE'S GONNA BE OKAY.
( oldies music playing ) WELL APPARENTLY VITO JR.
'S A WHACK JOB.
NO SURPRISE THERE.
FAMILY HISTORY? SHE WANTS $100,000 FOR A CHANGE OF SCENERY.
THAT NEVER WORKS.
SHE SHOULD GET HIM A DOG.
I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
( sighs ) THE POINT IS HOW THE FUCK IS THIS MY PROBLEM? HMM? BECAUSE I'M THE BOSS OF THE FAMILY? WHERE THE FUCK IS PHIL LEOTARDO? HE CREATED THE SITUATION BY CLIPPING VITO TO BEGIN WITH.
MY BEST FUCKING EARNER.
NOW SECOND TIME AROUND I'M GETTING MY POCKET PICKED.
NOT TO MENTION HE'S HIS UNCLE OR COUSIN OR WHATEVER THE FUCK.
NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
I AGREE.
Announcer: I agree, Jim.
I argued against the on-side kick.
Let's face it, they rarely work.
Anuncer 2: Yet here they are, the overworked Bucs D falling apart as the Bills, with that play, are inside the 30 and loaded for goal.
- LET'S GO.
COME ON, COME ON.
- JUST WATCH.
- BILLS GET ANOTHER SEVEN.
- YOU THINK? - NAH, I SAY A QUICK FIELD GOAL WINS IT.
- ABSOLUTELY.
THEY'LL CHOKE.
THAT'S WHAT THEY DO.
YOU GOT BUFFALO, RIGHT, T? NO, LINE IS THREE.
I'LL SETTLE FOR A PUSH.
BUFFALO! FUCKING GO FOR IT! ( clapping ) Announcer: Third and two, the snap.
Losman's back, he hands it off-- - ( men groaning ) - Fumble! Ball is with him.
Buffalo recovers.
- NO! - Fumbled again! GET HIM! COME ON! OHO.
OH, BOY.
GET HIM! ( shouting ) Buffalo scor as time expires.
UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE.
BUFFALO! FUCKING-A! ( cheers ) ( squeals ) ( laughs ) LISTEN TO THIS FUCKING GUY.
PROBABLY WON $35 DOWN THERE.
Final score: Buffalo 28, Tampa bay 24.
SKIP, ANOTHER BEER? NO, I'M GONNA GO TAKE A SNOOZE.
( soft rock playing ) BEAUTIFUL, SWEETHEART.
( applause ) NANCY SINATRA, EVERYBODY.
- CONGRATULATIONS, PHILLY.
- THANK YOU.
WE WERE GONNA GO THE FESTIVAL ROUTE, BUT I THINK WE FOUND A GUY WHO WANTS TO DISTRIBUTE IT HIMSELF, SO, WELL, WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
IT'S A GOOD LITTLE MOVIE.
- ALL RIGHT.
- I'LL TALK TO YOU.
JESUS CHRIST, IT'S 11:30.
READY TO CALL IT? AN HOUR AGO.
Phil: I SAW HIM BRING DEAN AND JERRY BACK TOGETHER.
I WAS THERE AT THE TELETHON.
I CRIED.
YOU LEAVING ALREADY? YEAH, IT'S LATE.
GOT A LONG HIKE TO JERSEY FROM HERE.
SURE, I USED TO DRIVE IT MYSELF.
NO MORE, THOUGH.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN.
LISTENI GOTTA BRING THIS UP.
- A FAVOR ALREADY? - EXCUSE ME? THONY, YOU ALWAYS HAVE BUSINESS ON YOUR MIND.
TAKE A NIGHT, SMELL THE COGNAC.
MARIE SPATAFORE CAME TO SEE ME.
SHE WANTS $100,000 TO RELOCATE ON ACCOUNT OF VITO JR.
ALREADY HAS HIOWN SOCIAL WORKER.
PATTY TOLD ME THERE WAS DOINGS.
I GUESS THE TURD DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE FAGGOT'S ASS.
THAT'S BEAUTIFULLY PUT, BUT YOU'RE FAMILY, RIGHT? COUSINS? WHAT CAN YOU DO? THROW MONEY AT THE PROBLEM? WELL, SOMEBODY'S GONNA.
I'LL TALK TO THE KID, - SET HIM RIGHT.
- GOOD.
YOU TWO GOING HOME TOGETHER? HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU? FUCKING PROSTATE KEEPING ME PISSING ALL NIGHT.
I WOULDN'T WISH IT ON MY WORST ENEMY.
( groans ) ( trickling ) NU? I TALKED TO PHIL ABOUT THE SPLIT ON THE MRI CENTERS.
YOUR CUT IS ON THE WAY.
( chuckles ) SO IS CHRISTMAS.
YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD HIM TONIGHT.
- COMMENTS, SMUG.
- REALLY? WORRIES ME.
I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING ALONG PRETTY GOOD FINALLY, YOU KNOW, CONSIDERING.
COULD BE T HUBRIS, MAKING BOSS.
BUT I STILL THINK IT'S WHAT WENT DOWN WITH HIS BROTHER BILLY.
I THOUGHT ALL THAT GOT BURIED WITH YOUR COUSIN.
- EH.
- YOU ENJOY THE DINNER? - I LEFT RIGHT AFTER.
- OH YEAH? I DON'T KNOW.
I LOOK AT MY KEY GUYS-- PAULIE, CHRISTOPHER, MY BROTHER-IN-LAW-- WHAT'S NUMBER ONE ON THEIR AGENDA? THEY'RE ALL FUCKING MURDERERS, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
LONELY AT THE TOP, BOYCHIK? WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS IT'S NICE BEING HERE.
- ALWAYS IS.
- ( chuckles ) OH! I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING.
( chuckles ) COVER UP THAT DOME.
ACTUALLY, I WAS EXPECTING SOMETHING ELSE.
WHAT, THE FUCKING DVD? HONESTLY, IT'S A VERY UNFLATTERING PORTRAIT OF ITALIAN-AMERICANS.
NO, I WAS THINKING MAYBE SOME OF THE $200,000 I LOANED YOU? OH, JESUS.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I KNOW IT'S COVERED.
IT'S JUST AFTER A WHILE WITH NO VIG-- YOU KNOW, I LOST TRACK.
I'M GLAD YOU DIDN'T.
- I DON'T WANNA BE A STICKLER.
- NO.
ANTHONY, COME ON.
NO, IT'S OKAY.
IT'S OKAY.
I GOT ABOUT $3,000 HERE.
POINT AND A HALF GOOD? - NO, COME ON, FUCK THIS.
- YOU GOTTA HAVE IT.
- DON'T WANT YOU EATING CAT FOOD.
- COME ON, STOP IT.
I DON'T GOTTA HAVE IT.
I DON'T WANT A VIG FROM YOU.
NO, COME ON.
( sighs ) I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON IT.
- YOU SURE? - JESUS CHRIST, ARE WE GOOD OR WHAT? WELL, IT'S LATE.
I SHOULD BE GETTING BACK.
YOU SHOULD GET BACK TO PISSING, OR WHATEVER.
( both laugh ) ( woman talking on TV ) I LEND THE GUY MONEY.
SUDDENLY I'M THE SCHMUCK.
WHY DOES HE NEED YOUR MONEY? WHY? TO COVER HIS NUT.
BETWEEN HIS GAMBLING AND THE LIFESTYLE, AND THAT BOAT-- $3.
2 MIL.
I WARNED HIM.
IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NO RESALE VALUE WHATSOEVER.
DOES HE LISTEN? HEH.
I'VE LENT LOTS OF MONEY.
ONCE THE CHISELING STARTS-- "OOH, I FORGOT.
" WHO FORGETS? FUCK HIM.
THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE YOU SEEING HIM BEFORE BED.
YOU'RE ALL UPSET.
MAKES A BIG SHOW OF GIVING ME A VIG.
$3,000 A WEEK.
YOU GOT A LOT OF JEWS IN YOUR BUSINESS, RIGHT? MY BUSINESS? YEAH, THIS.
YOU GOTTA HAND IT TO THEM, WHEN IT COMES TO MONEY IN MY EXPERIENCE, - THAT'S NOTHING MORE THAN AN UGLY STEREOTYPE.
- REALLY? I GOT A FRIEND, LET ME TELL YOU, YOU TIE A KRUGERRAND TO A FISHING LINE, YOU'RE GONNA LAND HIM.
( schwoops ) RIGHT UP ON THE DOCK.
DOESN'T SOUND LIKE YOU THINK OF HIM AS A FRIEND.
COME ON.
WE GO WAY BACK.
BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP HIM FROM BUSTING MY FUCKING BALLS BECAUSE I OWE HIM SOME MONEY.
ANYWAY, I NEEDED A LITTLE BRIDGE LOAN TO COVER SOME OF THE GAMBLING LOSSES WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT.
- STILL? - YOU KNOW, GOOD MONEY AFTER BAD.
- WHY NOT JUST STOP? - BIG PART OF MY LIFE.
I KNOW, BUT YOU'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT A LOT.
WELL, YOU LOSE SOMETIMES.
YOU GOTTA ACT LIKE IT HURTS A LITTLE MORE THAN IT DOES, YOKNOW, FOR YOUR GUYS.
BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA LOSE, WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT, HUH? SO YOU NEED THE RISK.
WHAT ARE YOU CHASING? MONEY OR A HIGH FROM WINNING? BEFORE WE END, THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO BRING UP.
YOU MISS A LOT OF APPOINTMENTS.
EXCUSE ME, I ALWAYS GIVE YOU THE REQUIRED NOTICE OR I PAY FORHE HOUR.
- THAT'S NOT MY POINT.
- WELL, I GET BUSY.
IT'S MY FAULT.
I'VE CONDONED IT FOR A LONG TIME.
I HAVEN'T HAD A PANIC ATTACK SINCE MY UNCLE SHOT ME.
- DID YOU NOTICE THAT? - YES.
WELL, IT MUST BE NICE TO KNOW EVERYTHING.
IS THAT THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU'RE HERE? THE PANIC ATTACKS? NO.
THIS IS AN OASIS IN MY WEEK.
SO THIS IS VACATION? NO, I BENEFIT IN MANY WAYS.
DECIDE IF YOU WANNA KEEP COMING, BUT KNOW THERE ARE PROTOCOLS THAT HAVE TO BE FOLLOWED OR I WON'T BE ABLE TO CONTINUE.
OKAY, I WILL.
( sighs ) NOW, I KNOW BRIAN WANTS THE MEDIA ROOM DOWNSTAIRS, BUT I THINK IT'S BETTER IF THE GYM HAS ACCESS TO THE POOL.
( doorbell chimes ) THAT'S THE INSPECTOR.
I TOLD THE GUY TO RUN CABLE FOR COMPUTERS, BUT I CAN'T PROMISE THE DAMN THING IS NOT ALREADY OBSOLETE.
- HI, HOW ARE YOU? - TED YACKINELLI, YACKINELLI HOME INSPECTIONS.
YEAH, COME ON IN.
THESE ARE OUR COUSINS, HUGH AND CARMELA.
- HOW ARE YOU DOING? - THEY'RE ALSO THE BUILDERS.
OHGREAT.
WANNA START OVER HERE? YEAH.
YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T COME OUT HERE JUST TO BUY YOU A COUPLE OF SUNDAES.
IT'S A SILO.
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT IT IS.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU LOOK LIKE A PUERTO RICAN WHORE.
YOU MAKE ME SICK.
SO? WHAT'S IT GOTTA DO WITH YOU? LISTEN, PALLY, YOU NEED TO BE REBELLIOUS.
I RAISED KIDS.
I GET IT.
- GOOD FOR YOU.
- YOU WANT A SMACK TOO? YOU EVER TNK WHAT THIS IS DOING TO YOUR MOTHER, WHAT SHE'S BEEN THROUGH, HOW YOU'RE UPSETTING HER? SHE'S JUST EMBARRASSED.
SHE CRIES FOR YOU.
I'M GONNA SAY THIS BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAN YOUR FAMILY'S HAD ENOUGH SHAME.
YOU SHOULD SET THINGS RIGHT.
- YOU UNDERSTAND ME? - NO.
JESUS CHRIST.
BE A MAN.
BE THE KIND OF MAN SHE NEEDS-- STRONG, MASCULINE.
( grumbles ) I SAID MY PIECE.
FINISH THAT THING.
THERE'S NO EATING IN THE CAR.
I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE FOR EVERYBODY TO ENJOY THE FACT THAT YOUR MOTHER HAS SOLD HER HOUSE.
- OH MY GOD, THAT'S FANTASTIC.
- CONGRATULATIONS, MOM.
- THAT'S SO GOOD.
- WELL, ACTUALLY, IT JUST PASSED INSPECTION.
BRIAN NEEDS TO GET LOAN APPROVAL BEFORE WE CAN-- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH.
CONGRATULATIONS, CARM.
IT'S NOT AN EASY THING TO DO THESE DAYS.
I HAD A LOT OF SUPPORT.
- BRIAN AND JANINE MUST BE SO HAPPY.
- I HOPE SO.
JUST THE TWO? IT'S BIG, RIGHT? IT'S A MANSION.
Tony: PASS THE SALAD.
THEY HAVE A BABY ON THE WAY.
( silverware clinking ) - ( thunder rumbling ) - ( phone ringing ) - HELLO? - Carmela on pne: Have you looked outside? - ( rain pouring ) - ( thunder rumbles ) OH, JESUS, MELLIE.
WE REPLACED 60%, 50% of the bad lumber with Doug fir.
WHAT ABOUT THE STUDS? AND OSE HEADERS UPSTAIRS? I'M NAUSEOUS.
OH, FOR THE 100th TIME, I'VE DONE A TON OF HOUSES USING THE SAME CONSTRUCTION BEFORE THESE SOB SISTERS TOOK OVER THE BUILDING DEPARTMENT AND I'M NOT LOSING ANY SLEEP.
- ( dial tone ) - ( phone beeps ) ( thunder crashes ) LUNCH.
- MORTADELL' AND PROVOLONE.
- THAT'S CHRISSY.
HO, THE STERIOUS STRANGER.
- HEY.
- LONG TIME.
- Paulie: SIT.
- I HAD TO DROP ELI OFF AT PHYSICAL THERAPY.
I THOUGHT I WOULD CHECK IN ON THE BRAIN TRUST HERE.
- ASETT', PLAY A HAND.
- YEAH, DON'T BE SHY, SHYLOCK.
I GOT A LITTLE TIME.
WHY NOT? "VY NOT," HE SAYS.
DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE JEWISH TERRORIST? HE WAS GONNA HIJACK A PLANE, BUT HE DIDN'T WANNA USE HIS MILES.
( all laugh ) - YOU WANT A SANDWICH? - NO, I JUST ATE, THANKS.
HE'S NOT HERE TO EAT.
HE'S HERE FOR THE RENT.
THE RENT, THE RENT.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL HAVE A BEER.
- HERE YOU GO.
- WILL YOU STOP ALREADY? THAT SHOULD GET ME THROUGH ANOTHER WEEK, RIGHT? I GOT SOME SPARE CHANGE HERE TOO.
( scraping ) IT'S A JOKE.
WHERE'S THAT SENSE OF HUMOR? YOU SHOULD PUT THIS IN THE POT, - MAKE THINGS INTERESTING.
- I'LL TAKA SHOT AT THAT.
- LET'S PLAY.
- LET'S SEE IT.
ARE YOU SURE YOU DID IT RIGHT? YES, AND IT'S NORMAL.
MAYBE IT WAS THE KUNG PAO.
- GET ME A DRINK.
- SURE, ALCOHOL, THAT'S GOOD FOR IT.
GET ONE YOURSELF.
IT'S NOT THE FUCKING MSG.
IT'S TONY SOPRANO.
( sighs ) YOU KNOW, HE REALLY HELPED WHEN I WAS IN THE HOITAL.
- NEVER LEND FRIENDS MONEY, ELI.
- HE STILL WON'T PAY? THAT'S THE LEAST OF IT.
HE'S ALL WORKED UP OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T LIKE THE WAY HE TALKS.
THATHOSTILE REMARKS.
IT.
IT'S NOT LIKE HIM.
MAKES ME WORRY.
YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? - HMM.
- COME ON.
TONY'S NOT GONNA HURT YOU.
YOU'VE SEEN HOW THESE ITALIANS WORK.
FOR THE MOST PART, IT'S OKAY.
GET THEM CORNERED, YOU'RE DEALING WITH NOTHING MORE THAN AN ANIMAL.
( chuckles ) WHAT, YOU THINK HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU NOW? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW.
HE'S THE GUY I CALL TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE LIKE HIM.
HE'S A RICH MAN.
HE'LL PAY.
MINUS ASSETS? I WOULD SAY UNDER SIX.
- COME ON, HE'S A BOSS.
- I'VE KNOWN HIM FOR A LONG TIME.
MONEY GOES IN ONE HAND AND RIGHT OUT THE OTHER.
THE MORE HE MAKES, THE MORE HE SPENDS.
THAT WIFE? ELI, AT WHAT POINT IS IT CHEAPER FOR HIM TO SETTLE IT ANOTHER WAY? ( jazz music playing ) ( all cheer ) - THAT'S THREE IN A ROW, ASSHOLES.
- I'M BUMPING UP HERE.
Dealer: THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN.
ROGER WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU FROM HERE ON.
ENJOY THE BORGATA.
YEAH, RIGHT.
TIME TO GO.
YEAH, WE'RE UP ABOUTS.
I COULD GO FOR A RIB EYE, FLINTSTONE SIZE.
NO KIDDING.
WHAT, BECAUSE I'M UP? - HOLY SHIT.
- WHAT? BATAVIA IN THE FIFTH.
TWO TO ONE.
MEADOW GOLD IN THE FIFTH.
WE GOTTA DO THAT.
THREE MINUTES TO POST.
- Tony: GLENLIVET ROCKS.
- Silvio: SEVEN AND SEVEN.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON TAP? GIVE HIM A BEER, ANYTHING.
FUCK IT, I DON'T WANNA MISS THIS.
BATAVIA-- HERE WE GO.
- WHERE'S THE GODDAMN SOUND? - THE BOSS PUT $18,000 PLUS ON THIS.
- MAYBE $25,000.
- YEAH? WHAT THE FUCK'S YOUR PROBLEM? NOTHING, I'M EXCITED.
WHAT DO YOU WANT? Tony: ALL RIGHT, THEY'RE RUNNING HERE.
WHERE'S THE FUCKING SOUND? - Bacala: IT'S ON, TON'.
- ( announcer talking ) Tony: GO, GIRL! - GO, YOU FUCKING NAG.
- Christopher: GO! ( all yelling ) Man: THERE YOU GO.
- Tony: COME ON, BABY.
- Bacala: SHE'S IN THE LEAD! - SHE'S IN THE LEAD, COME ON.
- COME ON, GO, GIRL! ( all shouting ) GO GO GO! THAT A GIRL! GO GO GO! Announcer: Rounding the turn, Swelligant, Meadow Gold, Mestizo-- Kir Royale and Smoosh Baby falling back.
It's Swelligant and Meadow Gold.
- COME ON, MEAD! - Kir Royale on the outside.
Swelligant and Meadow Gold - Swelligant and Meadow Gold - FUCKING GO! And it's Swelligant by a nose.
Meadow Gold to place, Kir Royale rounding out the top.
( voice slows ) Mestizo, Smoosh Baby in the five ot.
- BY A CUNT HAIR, TONY.
- Bacala: HEARTBREAKER.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, HUH? MADAM, YOUR DESERT.
- I DIDN'T ORDER NOTHING.
- I ORDERED FOR YOU.
YOU KNOW I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY WEIGHT.
WHAT IS THIS? OH MY GOD.
ANTHONY? - YOU LIKE IT? - IT'S GORGEOUS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE SCARED, OKAY? ALL THE PROBLEMS YOU HAD WITH HECTOR'S DAD-- I'M NOT LIKE THAT.
I KNOW.
IT'S NOT JUST THAT.
WELL, WHAT THEN? I'M GONNA WORKMY ASS OFF.
YOU KNOW I'LL ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF GUYS.
IN THREE MONTHS I MADE NIGHT MANAGER OF THE PIZZERIA.
IN ANOTHER THREE I'LL BE IN CHARGE OF THE DAY SHIFTS TOO.
A COUPLE YEARS, I'LL OWN A CHAIN OF RESTAURANTS, CLUBS.
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO WORK AGAIN.
- LOOK, I LOVE YOU.
- I LOVE YOU TOO.
SO MARRY ME THEN.
AND WE'LL HAVE KIDS.
YOU ALWAYS SAY YOU WANT HECTOR TO HAVE BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
( breathing heavily ) OKAY.
CAN I GET YOU SOME COFFEE? NO, I THINK IT'S TIME FOR OUR TALK HERE.
SO WHAT HAPPENED AT SCHOOL TODAY? I GET BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING.
THE GIRL WAS DEVELOPMENTALLY DISABLED.
UNCLE PHIL SAID HE TALKED TO YOU.
IS HE JUST WASTING HIS BREATH? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING US? THIS TROUBLE YOU'RE CAUSING-- M VERY DISAPPOINTED, BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS WERE A GOOD KID.
- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.
- WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? SOMETIMES YOU CALL ME "CARLO JR.
" LOOK, ALL I KNOW IS THAT I COULDN'T SHUT YOUR DAD UP ABOUT WHAT A GOOD KID YOU WERE.
- WE WERE FRIENDS, YOU KNOW.
- BUTT BUDDIES? OH, YOU'RE BEING FUNNY.
THAT'S GOOD.
'CAUSE I'M SURE YOU MISS HIM A LOT, WHATEVER HE WAS.
AND NOW I WANNA SAY SOME THINGS.
- YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME.
- I'M NOT MOVING TO FUCKING MAINE! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT'S GONNA COSTY YOUR MOTHER?AT? - WHATEVER.
- LISTEN TO ME.
OKAY, I'M NOT SOME FUCKING SOCIAL WORKER.
NOW YOU KNOCK THIS WEIRD SHIT OFF, OR I'LL INTRODUCE YOU TO A PLATE-GLASS WINDOW.
SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE TOLD MY DAD TO KNOCK OFF THE WEIRD SHIT.
YOU GO ABOUT IN PITY FOR YOURSELF.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOTHER? WHAT ABOUT WHAT SHE'S BEEN THROUGH? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT? LOOK, YOUR DAD'S GONE, OKAY? YOU'RE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE NOW.
START FUCKING ACTING LIKE IT.
YOU GET ME? ( sighs ) WELL, I JUST GOT BACK FROM THE CLOSING.
- COME HERE! - ( both laughing ) - ( Tony moans ) - ( Carmela groans ) ( sighs ) WE SHOULD POP THE CHAMPAGNE, - OR I DON'T KNOW, GO OUT OR SOMETHING.
- MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW.
- WHY NOT? - YOU KNOW WHY NOT, TONY.
- IT'S UPSETTING, THIS WHOLE THING.
- JESUS, THE LUMBER AGAIN? CARMELA, YOUR COUSIN BRIAN HAS FUCKED OVER A LOT OF PEOPLE.
TRUST ME.
SO HOW MUCH IN THE END? ALL IN? WELL, AFTER CONSTRUCTION, THE PURCHASE OF THE LAND, CLOSING COSTS, IT MUST BE CLOSE TO SIX.
- OOH.
- YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO? YOU SHOULD TAKE A CHUNK OF THAT AND PUT IT ON THE JETS.
OH YES, VERY FUNNY.
- I'M SERIOUS.
WE CAN'T GET HURT.
- OH, "WE" NOW? IT'S A SURE THING.
CELIA, SHE WORKS AT THE BING, SHE'S GOT A SISTER LIVES IN SAN DIE, SHE'S AN OSTEOPATH, AND SHE SAYS THAT THE CHARGER'S QB HAS A HAIRLINE FRACTURE IN HIS RIGHT LEG.
AND EVEN VEGAS DOESKNOW ABOUT IT.
I DIDN'T SAY ALL OF IT.
YOU KNOW, JUST A PIECE OF MY HALF.
YOU'RE RICH, TONY.
USE SOME OF THOSE BUNDLES TO COVER IT.
THAT MONEY'S FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY, CARM, YOU KNOW THAT.
AND MY OTHER MONEY'S TIED UP IN ASSET ALLOCATION.
WHAT IS THAT? LISTEN TO ME, OKAY? THIS IS THE GRAVY.
WINDFALL CASH.
THIS IS THE KIND OF SHIT YOU PLAY WITH.
I-- I'M TELLING YOU.
WE ARE GOLDEN HERE.
( CLINKING ) AH, LISTEN, LISTEN.
FORGET IT.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE MENTIONED IT.
I MEAN IT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, IT'ST I THOUGHT THIS WAS MY MONEY.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
( speaks Italian ) RENATA? WHAT? - GO TO THE BEDROOM AND LOCK THE DOOR.
- WHAT'S GOING ON? DO AS I ASK.
( knocking ) WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.
OH, I WAS WATCHING CNN.
FUCKING HEZBOLLAH.
AH, WE'RE RUNNING DOWN TO THE BOAT SHOW IN EDISON.
- THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO JOIN? - I'D LOVE TO.
BUENATA'S GOT A MIGRAINE.
THAT'S TOO BAD.
THE VIG.
THREE GRANDS.
SHOULD PUT US UP TO DATE.
LISTEN, I CAN'T TAKE THIS.
GIVE IT ALL TO ME WHENEVER YOU CAN.
- YOU'RE GONNA DO THVERY TIME? - WHATEVER YOU SAY.
SIT DOWN.
HAVE A DRINK.
WE SHOULD GET GOING, PROBABLY.
OKAY.
BUT NEXT TIME.
FOR SURE.
YEAH, NEXT TIME I'LL CALL FIRST.
DID YOU SEE THAT PISSY ATTITUDE? COME ALL THE WAY OUT HERE TO PICK HIM UP NOT TO MENTION GIVE HIM HIS FUCKING VIG IN PERSON.
I MEAN, YOU BELIEVE THIS FUCKING GUY? SHOULD TELL HIM TO GO FUCK HIMSELF AND HIS 200K.
WHAT'S HE GONNA DO ABOUT IT? TO NOT PAY MY DEBTS? HEAD OF THE FAMILY? HOW'S THAT GONNA LOOK? WHO'S GONNA KNOW? IT'S LIKE EDDIE VALENTINE.
THAT GUY FROM PHILLY? WITH THE POLIO LEG AND THE BUILT-UP SHOE? NO, FROM THE FUCKIN' "TWILIGHT ZONE.
" YOU MUST HAVE SEEN THAT ONE.
HE'S A SMALL-TIME HOOD, HE GETS SHOT MAYBE YOU SHOULD START SUCKIN' COCK INSTEAD OF WATCHING TV LAND, 'CAUSE VITO BROUGHT IN THREE TIMES WHAT YOU DO ON CONSTRUCTION.
YEAH.
AND I DIDN'T HAVE THIS FUCKIN' PROBLEM.
GOD FUCKIN' DAMN IT! WHAT? THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT? NO.
I ONLY BET 10.
- BUT YOU WON.
- WHAT DID I SAY? HUH, WHAT DID I TELL YOU? IT'S A SURE THING.
YOU TALK ABOUT THIS CRAP LIKE IT'S SCIENCE, TONY.
I LOST A LOT OF FUCKIN' MONEY.
YOU DIDN'T LOSE.
WE COULD HAVE TURNED YOUR BULLSHIT INTO A FUCKIN' MILLION DOLLARS.
MY "BULLSHIT"? THAT SPEC HOUSE WAS MY INVESTMENT.
- FOR MY FUTURE! - HERE WE GO.
GINNY SACK HAD TO MOVE IN WITH HER FUCKING DAUGHTER, TONY AGAIN WITH GINNY SACK, HUH? JOHN PROVIDED.
SHE'S A FUCKIN' HYSTERIC.
DID YOU EVER THINK I MIGHT KNOW WHAT I'M DOING? YOU AND THE FURNITURE AND THE CLOTHES AND THE CARS.
YOU WOULD HAVE SPENT EVERYTHING I MADE! IF I LET YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT? THE NEXT TIME YOU WIN, I'LL TAKE A CUT, AND I'LL ROLL THE FUCKIN' DICE.
YOU ALREADY TOOK YOUR CUT, FROM THE BIRD FEEDER.
AND DON'T FUCKIN' DENY IT AGAIN.
WHAT? 40 GRAND IN THE STOCK MARKET? I'D ASK FOR MY PIECE, BUT WAIT, THERE'S NOTHING.
D THAT SPEC HOUSE? I MADE THE DOWN PAYMENT.
I BOUGHT THE MATERIALS.
I LEANED ON THAT BUILDING INSPECTOR WHEN YOU HAD YOUR THUMB UP YOUR ASS! SO STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR MONEY! LET GO OF ME, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! FACT IS YOU'RE A SHITTY BUSINESSWOMAN WHO BUILT A PIECE-OF-SHIT HOUSE THAT'S GONNA CAVE IN AND KILL THAT FUCKING UNBORN BABY ANY DAY! AND NOW YOU CAN'T SLEEP.
GO FUCK YOURSELF! WHEN I'M GONE, YOU CAN LIVE IN A FUCKIN' DUMPSTER FOR ALL I CARE.
( carmela sobbing ) ( door slams ) Boy: I WAS SO-- I TOLD YOU, DUDE.
AT THREE-POINT RANGE, THERE'S NO WAY THE BALL WOULD HIT THE RIM.
THAT WAS THE WORST PASS.
GET LOST.
HEY, NOBODY DROP THE SOAP.
SPAZ-A-FUCKWIT'S IN THE HOUSE.
( boys laughing ) HEY, YOU CAN SEE HIS PUSSY.
( laughter ) WHAT THE FUCK YOU LOOKIN' AT, FAG? ( farts ) - WHAT THE FUCK? - HE ST.
Boy: OH! - OH GOD! - JESUS, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? HE STEPPED IN IT! - AH! - Boy: GROSS! - ( all screaming ) - Boy: HE SHIT IN THE FUCKING SHOWER! ARE YOU CRAZY? COCKSUCKER'S CORVAIR MONZA IS STILL IN HIS GARAGE, SO WE BOOST THE PIECE OF SHIT.
WE'RE HEADING DOWN COMMUNIPAW AVENUE, AND THE FUCKIN' THING STARTS TO DO-SI-DO-- YOU GET WORD ON THE POWER TOOLS? WHAT? YEAH.
SPICS IN FLORIDA SENDING THE FIRST TRUCK FRIDAY.
- HOW ABOUT ALPHONSE AT THE HARDWARE STORE? - READY FOR THE WHOLE LOAD.
SPEAKING OF LOADS-- HEAR THE LATEST ON VITO JR.
? - WHAT? - MARIE CALLED.
HE GOT EXPELLED 'CAUSE HE TOOK A SHIT IN THE SHOWER IN GYM CLASS.
- OH.
- THAT SICK LITTLE FUCK.
YOU SHOULD SEE HIM-- THE MAKEUP.
AND WITHOUT SCHOOL, MARIE SAYS HE'S SHUT IN HIS ROOM ALL DAY.
PROBABLY THINKIN' ABOUT HOW TO PULL A COLUMBINE.
Tony: HA.
BUT THE LITTLE GIRL Paulie: FRANCESCA.
DAD'S GONE.
BROTHER'S A PSYCHO, MOTHER'S A BASKET CASE.
SHE'S NINE YEARS OLD.
WHAT THE FUCK DID SHE EVER DO? TRAGEDY.
LIKE A PEBBLE IN A LAKE.
EVEN THE FISH FEEL IT.
IT'S NOT RIGHT.
VITO WAS ONE OF US.
SO HE SUCKED A COCK.
PRIOR TO THAT, HE WAS OUR FRIEND.
CAN'T JUST CUT HIS FAMILY LOOSE.
THAT PIECE OF SHIT, PHIL, HE'S NEVER GONNA PONY UP.
AND I TELL YOU WHAT: I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT HE DIDN'T COME THROUGH HERE.
- NEVER.
- LET IT GO, TON'.
THIS IS GOOD OF YOU, TON', HELPING MARIE.
I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER IT.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
I GOTTA SWING BY SLAVA'S, LIQUEFY SOME OFFSHORE MONIES.
( Spanish music playing ) YEAH, DUDE.
VAMOS AL LATINO DAY PARADE.
- PADRE.
- YEAH.
HEY, JESUS, YOU GOT OUTTA WORK EARLY.
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? - WHAT'S THIS? - YOUR CLOTHES.
I JUST DID LAUNDRY A COUPLE DAYS AGO.
NOT LAUNDRY.
- MAMI! - NO, PAPI, STAY.
WHAT ARE WE DOING? WHAT ABOUT THE PARADE? I'M GOING WITH MY BROTHER.
WHAT? I NEED TO GIVE THIS BACK TO YOU.
I CAN'T KEEP IT.
WHY? I MEAN, I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU, TOO, ANTHONY.
LOOK, I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE I DON'T.
ALL'S I KNOW IS I JUST DON'T FEEL IT.
( bass pounding ) YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS THING WITH THE DOLPHINS' KICKER? HE WENT UNDER A WHOLE TRUCK.
YEAH, FUCKIN' MOTORCYCLES, HUH? HELMET SAVED HIS LIFE.
- HE OUT FOR SUNDAY? - MAYBE THE WHOLE SEASON.
AND THE BAUP KICKER? HE'S RIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE.
- AGAINST PHILLY.
- TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA PUT THE WHOLE AND IF I WIN, MARIE SPATAFORE GETS HER FREE RIDE AND THEN SOME.
YEAH, GOOD FOR YOU.
'CAUSE CARLO SAID THE KID WENT INTO THE LITTER BOX AND ATE SOME CAT SHIT.
NO, HE TOOK A SHIT, IN THE SHOWER.
GLAD WE GOT THAT STRAIGHT.
Radio announcer: Hell of a finish.
even tragedy, unable to stop miami.
Final score: Miami 21, philadelphia 7.
Man: When you get special-team support like that, It makes all the difference.
And also, when you see ( shuts off ) ( phone beeps ) HEY, MARIE.
HOW YOU HOLDIN' UP? HE SNUCK OUT AGAIN LAST NIGHT.
LIKE I TOLD YOU, I WANT TO HELP.
GOD BLESS YOU, TONY, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
WELL, I DO.
THERE'S THIS CAMP IN IDAHO, AND THEY HANDLE KIDS LIKE HIM.
IDAHO? YOU KNOW, LIKE TOUGH LOVE? YOU KNOW? SAW IT ON TV, AND HONESTLY, I WAS MOVED TO TEARS BY SOME OF THE SUCCESS STORIES.
- IT'S A CAMP? - A SCHOOL CAMP.
Tony, THEY ALLOW CORPORAL PUNISHMENT.
HIS GUIDANCE COUNSELOR TOLDE ABOUT THOSE PLACES, AND THEY'RE IN UTAH AND IDAHO BECAUSE STATE LAW ALLOWS THEM TO STRIKE THE KIDS.
BUT THAT'S JUST FOR THE DETERRENT FACTOR.
LOOK, IT'S 18 GRAND, BUT I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT FOR YOU, SO DON'T WORRY.
THERE'S NO GEOGRAPHICAL SOLUTION TO AN EMOTIONAL PROBLEM, MARIE.
MAINE, WHEREVER.
MARIE? YEAH? I KNOW IT'S HARD, BUT IT'S THE BEST THING FOR HIM.
Okay? THANK YOU, TONY.
( indistinct ) ( engine starts ) ( jazz playing ) HEY, TON', ISN'T THAT-- WHAT'S-THEIR-NAMES, USED TO HANG OUT AT THE BING? - WAKE UP, VITO.
- WHAT? VITO, MY NAME IS STEVE.
I'M HERE TO HELP YOU.
YOU'RE GONNA COME WITH US NOW, ALL RIGHT? - COME ON.
- WHAT? COME ON.
NO, LET ME GO! - COME ON.
HEY! - IT'S ALL RIGHT.
- LET GO! MOM, NO! - IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
I'M SO SORRY, HONEY.
STOP, LET ME GO! IT'LL BE OKAY! HEY, YOU HAVE E STRONG.
YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING.
- WHO ARE YOU? - FRANNY, GO BACK TO BED.
MRS.
SPATAFORE, REALLY, HE'S GONNA BE FINE.
- MOM! - I'M SORRY, HONEY.
Vito Jr.
: NO! NO.
OH GOD.
This one coming right down to the buzzer.
Stackhouse draining a three-pointer As time ran out, leading Dallas to a Over the visiting San Antonio Spurs.
A sterling effort for sure, but you really can't ( mutes TV ) SO WHAT? WE'RE NOT SPEAKING NOW? LISTEN, COME HERE.
( closes drawer ) WHAT? SIT DOWN.
COME ON.
I'M SORRY.
I REALLY AM.
YOU DID REAL GOOD WITH THAT HOUSE.
AND I SHOULD KNOW.
I'M IN CONSTRUCTION.
I'M GLAD TO HEAR YOU APPROVE.
I HAVE BEEN LOSING.
I'M FUCKIN' LOSING RIGHT NOW.
ON A SHITTY STREAK.
SO YOUR SOLUTION IS TO RISK MORE AND MAKE THINGS EVEN WORSE? YOU START CHASING IT.
AND EVERY TIME YOU GET YOUR HANDS AROUND IT YOU FALL FURTHER BACKWARDS.
SO THIS IS ABOUT MONEY? 'CAUSE IT DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT.
CARM, I SWEAR TO YOU, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE LIKE GINNY.
I'VE BEEN REAL GOOD ABOUT THAT, AND FRANKLY, IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN TO US.
AND I HATE THAT YOU'RE GOING AROUND ACTING ALL THE TIME LIKE IT WILL.
I WORRY, TONY.
I DO.
YOU ALREADY GOT SHOT.
NOW YOU WON'T EVEN GO DOWN AND GET THE PAPER.
WHO IS OUT THERE? - COME ON - WHAT IS IT? WHAT ARE THE MILLION OTHER POSSIBILITS? THE FBI WAITING TO TAKE YOU AWAY? RIGHT? YOU EAT AND YOU PLAY, AND YOU PRETEND LIKE THERE'S NOT A GIANT PIANO HANGING BY A ROPE JUST OVER THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.
SEE, THAT'S IT, OKAY? I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS.
NOW, I SURVIVED A FUCKIN' GUNSHOT WOUND.
WHAT ARE THE ODDS ON THAT? TERRIBLE.
SO IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, BIG-PICTUREWISE, I'M UP.
WHAT? WAY UP.
THAT WAS ME, NOT A FIREBOAT.
LIKE FOR BREAKFAST? HMM? RENATA? RENATA? OH GOD, NO.
WAIT WAIT, RENATA.
( dialing ) RENATA.
RENATA, PLEASE, OH, WAIT.
- RENATA, RENATA.
- Woman: 911.
What is the emergency? ( sobbing ) ( knocking on door ) SHE WAS A GREAT GIRL.
THANKS.
THE BEST.
I-- I BROUGHT YOUR MONEY.
SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.
( jazz playing )
SOPHIA'S BIRTHDAY.
I SHOULDA HAD THAT.
GOT IT LIKE FIVE WAYS THERE.
SIX.
HE'S ON RED, TOO.
- YOU COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER.
- WHAT HAPPENED? - TONY HIT ONE STRAIGHT UP.
- FINALLY.
DOT YOU SPILL THOSE.
- YOU WANNA TAKE IT OR PLAY IT? - LET'S PLAY IT.
- ALL RIGHT.
- ALL RIGHT, MY MAN.
- Bacala: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING? - YOU GOTTA RIDE THAT.
( rattling ) - All RIGHT, ONE MORE TIME.
- All: COME ON.
- Man: DO IT AGAIN! - Man #2: COME ON.
- Man: 23.
- Man #2: COME ON, COME ON.
Man: COME ON, BOUNCE.
- Man #2: DO IT AGAIN! - Man: COME ON, 23.
- 11.
- ( men groan ) - FUCKING CHRIST.
- JEEZ.
DOUCHEBAGS ARE TAKING IT ALL BACK TONIGHT.
WHAT THE FUCK, VITO? YOU ALMOST HIT ME.
TIMBER, MOTHERFUCKER! ( laughing ) Policeman: STOP RIGHT THERE! POOR BOY'S DELIGHT AND SHE FUCKING COMES IN.
OOF.
LOOK AT THIS MEZZA-MORT.
Tony: OH, HEY.
- SIL.
- HOW ARE YOU, BABY? - Silvio: GOOD TO SEE YOU.
- Tony: HEY.
SIT DOWN.
CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING? A COFFEE OR A BUN? I'LL LET YOU TWO TALK.
SO.
I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU LETTING ME SEE YOU.
AND YOU'VE BEEN SO DECENT ABOUT EVERYTHING SINCE VITO DEATH.
I JUST DON'T KNOW WHO ELSE-- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
COME ON, MARIE.
- WHAT CAN I DO? - IT'S LITTLE V.
THE SOCIAL WORKER SAYS HE'S JUST ACTING OUT.
- SOCIAL WORKER? - BOY STF MOSTLY, BUT SO ANGRY.
ALTHOUGH SOME OF WHAT HE'S BEING ACCUSED OF IS JUST PERSECUTION.
EY CLAIM THAT HE HUNG THE PETRUZZO'S CAT ON THEIR GARAGE DOOR ( sniffs ) BUT IT'S TOTALLY UNFOUNDED.
- ( sobbing ) - WELL, YOU KNOW, IN A WAY, IT'S TO BE EXPECTED, WITH VITO PASSING AND ALL THAT THAT ENTRAILED.
I THINK THE ONLY SOLUTION IS TO MOVE AWAY FROM THAT HOUSE AND THE KIDS AT SCHOOL.
( sighs ) I FIGURED IT OUT, AND I KNOW IT'S A LOT, BUT FOR $100,000, WE CAN BE SOMEPLACE WHERE NO ONE KNOWS HIM OR WHAT HAPPENED.
MY FRIEND CHERYL LIVES IN ORONO, MAINE, BY THE UNIVERSITY.
AND THERE IS THIS TWO-STORY CAPE, WITH SOLID SCHOOLS.
YOU ALWAYS SAID IF THERE'S ANYTHING YOU COULD DO SURE.
HAVE YOU TALKED TO HIS UNCLE? - WHO? - PHIL.
PHIL'S NOT HIS UNCLE.
HIM AND I ARE SECOND COUSINS.
BEFORE WE GET TOO DRASTIC HERE AND UPROOT LITTLE VITO AND ALL OF YOU FROM YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR FAMILY, - I SHOULD TALK TO HIM.
- HE'S IMPOSSIBLE TO TALK TO.
IT'S NOT EASY TO SUBSTITUTE FOR A DAD.
I KNOW.
BUT MAYBE I CAN FILL IN HERE.
OKAY, BUT YOU'LL THINK ABOUT IT? BELIEVE ME, I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF YOU, AND HE'S GONNA BE OKAY.
( oldies music playing ) WELL APPARENTLY VITO JR.
'S A WHACK JOB.
NO SURPRISE THERE.
FAMILY HISTORY? SHE WANTS $100,000 FOR A CHANGE OF SCENERY.
THAT NEVER WORKS.
SHE SHOULD GET HIM A DOG.
I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
( sighs ) THE POINT IS HOW THE FUCK IS THIS MY PROBLEM? HMM? BECAUSE I'M THE BOSS OF THE FAMILY? WHERE THE FUCK IS PHIL LEOTARDO? HE CREATED THE SITUATION BY CLIPPING VITO TO BEGIN WITH.
MY BEST FUCKING EARNER.
NOW SECOND TIME AROUND I'M GETTING MY POCKET PICKED.
NOT TO MENTION HE'S HIS UNCLE OR COUSIN OR WHATEVER THE FUCK.
NOT YOUR PROBLEM.
I AGREE.
Announcer: I agree, Jim.
I argued against the on-side kick.
Let's face it, they rarely work.
Anuncer 2: Yet here they are, the overworked Bucs D falling apart as the Bills, with that play, are inside the 30 and loaded for goal.
- LET'S GO.
COME ON, COME ON.
- JUST WATCH.
- BILLS GET ANOTHER SEVEN.
- YOU THINK? - NAH, I SAY A QUICK FIELD GOAL WINS IT.
- ABSOLUTELY.
THEY'LL CHOKE.
THAT'S WHAT THEY DO.
YOU GOT BUFFALO, RIGHT, T? NO, LINE IS THREE.
I'LL SETTLE FOR A PUSH.
BUFFALO! FUCKING GO FOR IT! ( clapping ) Announcer: Third and two, the snap.
Losman's back, he hands it off-- - ( men groaning ) - Fumble! Ball is with him.
Buffalo recovers.
- NO! - Fumbled again! GET HIM! COME ON! OHO.
OH, BOY.
GET HIM! ( shouting ) Buffalo scor as time expires.
UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE.
BUFFALO! FUCKING-A! ( cheers ) ( squeals ) ( laughs ) LISTEN TO THIS FUCKING GUY.
PROBABLY WON $35 DOWN THERE.
Final score: Buffalo 28, Tampa bay 24.
SKIP, ANOTHER BEER? NO, I'M GONNA GO TAKE A SNOOZE.
( soft rock playing ) BEAUTIFUL, SWEETHEART.
( applause ) NANCY SINATRA, EVERYBODY.
- CONGRATULATIONS, PHILLY.
- THANK YOU.
WE WERE GONNA GO THE FESTIVAL ROUTE, BUT I THINK WE FOUND A GUY WHO WANTS TO DISTRIBUTE IT HIMSELF, SO, WELL, WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS.
IT'S A GOOD LITTLE MOVIE.
- ALL RIGHT.
- I'LL TALK TO YOU.
JESUS CHRIST, IT'S 11:30.
READY TO CALL IT? AN HOUR AGO.
Phil: I SAW HIM BRING DEAN AND JERRY BACK TOGETHER.
I WAS THERE AT THE TELETHON.
I CRIED.
YOU LEAVING ALREADY? YEAH, IT'S LATE.
GOT A LONG HIKE TO JERSEY FROM HERE.
SURE, I USED TO DRIVE IT MYSELF.
NO MORE, THOUGH.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN.
LISTENI GOTTA BRING THIS UP.
- A FAVOR ALREADY? - EXCUSE ME? THONY, YOU ALWAYS HAVE BUSINESS ON YOUR MIND.
TAKE A NIGHT, SMELL THE COGNAC.
MARIE SPATAFORE CAME TO SEE ME.
SHE WANTS $100,000 TO RELOCATE ON ACCOUNT OF VITO JR.
ALREADY HAS HIOWN SOCIAL WORKER.
PATTY TOLD ME THERE WAS DOINGS.
I GUESS THE TURD DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE FAGGOT'S ASS.
THAT'S BEAUTIFULLY PUT, BUT YOU'RE FAMILY, RIGHT? COUSINS? WHAT CAN YOU DO? THROW MONEY AT THE PROBLEM? WELL, SOMEBODY'S GONNA.
I'LL TALK TO THE KID, - SET HIM RIGHT.
- GOOD.
YOU TWO GOING HOME TOGETHER? HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU? FUCKING PROSTATE KEEPING ME PISSING ALL NIGHT.
I WOULDN'T WISH IT ON MY WORST ENEMY.
( groans ) ( trickling ) NU? I TALKED TO PHIL ABOUT THE SPLIT ON THE MRI CENTERS.
YOUR CUT IS ON THE WAY.
( chuckles ) SO IS CHRISTMAS.
YOU SHOULD HAVE HEARD HIM TONIGHT.
- COMMENTS, SMUG.
- REALLY? WORRIES ME.
I THOUGHT WE WERE GETTING ALONG PRETTY GOOD FINALLY, YOU KNOW, CONSIDERING.
COULD BE T HUBRIS, MAKING BOSS.
BUT I STILL THINK IT'S WHAT WENT DOWN WITH HIS BROTHER BILLY.
I THOUGHT ALL THAT GOT BURIED WITH YOUR COUSIN.
- EH.
- YOU ENJOY THE DINNER? - I LEFT RIGHT AFTER.
- OH YEAH? I DON'T KNOW.
I LOOK AT MY KEY GUYS-- PAULIE, CHRISTOPHER, MY BROTHER-IN-LAW-- WHAT'S NUMBER ONE ON THEIR AGENDA? THEY'RE ALL FUCKING MURDERERS, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE.
LONELY AT THE TOP, BOYCHIK? WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS IT'S NICE BEING HERE.
- ALWAYS IS.
- ( chuckles ) OH! I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING.
( chuckles ) COVER UP THAT DOME.
ACTUALLY, I WAS EXPECTING SOMETHING ELSE.
WHAT, THE FUCKING DVD? HONESTLY, IT'S A VERY UNFLATTERING PORTRAIT OF ITALIAN-AMERICANS.
NO, I WAS THINKING MAYBE SOME OF THE $200,000 I LOANED YOU? OH, JESUS.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
I KNOW IT'S COVERED.
IT'S JUST AFTER A WHILE WITH NO VIG-- YOU KNOW, I LOST TRACK.
I'M GLAD YOU DIDN'T.
- I DON'T WANNA BE A STICKLER.
- NO.
ANTHONY, COME ON.
NO, IT'S OKAY.
IT'S OKAY.
I GOT ABOUT $3,000 HERE.
POINT AND A HALF GOOD? - NO, COME ON, FUCK THIS.
- YOU GOTTA HAVE IT.
- DON'T WANT YOU EATING CAT FOOD.
- COME ON, STOP IT.
I DON'T GOTTA HAVE IT.
I DON'T WANT A VIG FROM YOU.
NO, COME ON.
( sighs ) I SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON IT.
- YOU SURE? - JESUS CHRIST, ARE WE GOOD OR WHAT? WELL, IT'S LATE.
I SHOULD BE GETTING BACK.
YOU SHOULD GET BACK TO PISSING, OR WHATEVER.
( both laugh ) ( woman talking on TV ) I LEND THE GUY MONEY.
SUDDENLY I'M THE SCHMUCK.
WHY DOES HE NEED YOUR MONEY? WHY? TO COVER HIS NUT.
BETWEEN HIS GAMBLING AND THE LIFESTYLE, AND THAT BOAT-- $3.
2 MIL.
I WARNED HIM.
IT HAS ABSOLUTELY NO RESALE VALUE WHATSOEVER.
DOES HE LISTEN? HEH.
I'VE LENT LOTS OF MONEY.
ONCE THE CHISELING STARTS-- "OOH, I FORGOT.
" WHO FORGETS? FUCK HIM.
THIS IS WHY I DON'T LIKE YOU SEEING HIM BEFORE BED.
YOU'RE ALL UPSET.
MAKES A BIG SHOW OF GIVING ME A VIG.
$3,000 A WEEK.
YOU GOT A LOT OF JEWS IN YOUR BUSINESS, RIGHT? MY BUSINESS? YEAH, THIS.
YOU GOTTA HAND IT TO THEM, WHEN IT COMES TO MONEY IN MY EXPERIENCE, - THAT'S NOTHING MORE THAN AN UGLY STEREOTYPE.
- REALLY? I GOT A FRIEND, LET ME TELL YOU, YOU TIE A KRUGERRAND TO A FISHING LINE, YOU'RE GONNA LAND HIM.
( schwoops ) RIGHT UP ON THE DOCK.
DOESN'T SOUND LIKE YOU THINK OF HIM AS A FRIEND.
COME ON.
WE GO WAY BACK.
BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP HIM FROM BUSTING MY FUCKING BALLS BECAUSE I OWE HIM SOME MONEY.
ANYWAY, I NEEDED A LITTLE BRIDGE LOAN TO COVER SOME OF THE GAMBLING LOSSES WE'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT.
- STILL? - YOU KNOW, GOOD MONEY AFTER BAD.
- WHY NOT JUST STOP? - BIG PART OF MY LIFE.
I KNOW, BUT YOU'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT A LOT.
WELL, YOU LOSE SOMETIMES.
YOU GOTTA ACT LIKE IT HURTS A LITTLE MORE THAN IT DOES, YOKNOW, FOR YOUR GUYS.
BUT IF YOU'RE GONNA LOSE, WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT, HUH? SO YOU NEED THE RISK.
WHAT ARE YOU CHASING? MONEY OR A HIGH FROM WINNING? BEFORE WE END, THERE'S SOMETHING I NEED TO BRING UP.
YOU MISS A LOT OF APPOINTMENTS.
EXCUSE ME, I ALWAYS GIVE YOU THE REQUIRED NOTICE OR I PAY FORHE HOUR.
- THAT'S NOT MY POINT.
- WELL, I GET BUSY.
IT'S MY FAULT.
I'VE CONDONED IT FOR A LONG TIME.
I HAVEN'T HAD A PANIC ATTACK SINCE MY UNCLE SHOT ME.
- DID YOU NOTICE THAT? - YES.
WELL, IT MUST BE NICE TO KNOW EVERYTHING.
IS THAT THE ONLY REASON WHY YOU'RE HERE? THE PANIC ATTACKS? NO.
THIS IS AN OASIS IN MY WEEK.
SO THIS IS VACATION? NO, I BENEFIT IN MANY WAYS.
DECIDE IF YOU WANNA KEEP COMING, BUT KNOW THERE ARE PROTOCOLS THAT HAVE TO BE FOLLOWED OR I WON'T BE ABLE TO CONTINUE.
OKAY, I WILL.
( sighs ) NOW, I KNOW BRIAN WANTS THE MEDIA ROOM DOWNSTAIRS, BUT I THINK IT'S BETTER IF THE GYM HAS ACCESS TO THE POOL.
( doorbell chimes ) THAT'S THE INSPECTOR.
I TOLD THE GUY TO RUN CABLE FOR COMPUTERS, BUT I CAN'T PROMISE THE DAMN THING IS NOT ALREADY OBSOLETE.
- HI, HOW ARE YOU? - TED YACKINELLI, YACKINELLI HOME INSPECTIONS.
YEAH, COME ON IN.
THESE ARE OUR COUSINS, HUGH AND CARMELA.
- HOW ARE YOU DOING? - THEY'RE ALSO THE BUILDERS.
OHGREAT.
WANNA START OVER HERE? YEAH.
YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T COME OUT HERE JUST TO BUY YOU A COUPLE OF SUNDAES.
IT'S A SILO.
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT IT IS.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU LOOK LIKE A PUERTO RICAN WHORE.
YOU MAKE ME SICK.
SO? WHAT'S IT GOTTA DO WITH YOU? LISTEN, PALLY, YOU NEED TO BE REBELLIOUS.
I RAISED KIDS.
I GET IT.
- GOOD FOR YOU.
- YOU WANT A SMACK TOO? YOU EVER TNK WHAT THIS IS DOING TO YOUR MOTHER, WHAT SHE'S BEEN THROUGH, HOW YOU'RE UPSETTING HER? SHE'S JUST EMBARRASSED.
SHE CRIES FOR YOU.
I'M GONNA SAY THIS BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAN YOUR FAMILY'S HAD ENOUGH SHAME.
YOU SHOULD SET THINGS RIGHT.
- YOU UNDERSTAND ME? - NO.
JESUS CHRIST.
BE A MAN.
BE THE KIND OF MAN SHE NEEDS-- STRONG, MASCULINE.
( grumbles ) I SAID MY PIECE.
FINISH THAT THING.
THERE'S NO EATING IN THE CAR.
I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE A MINUTE FOR EVERYBODY TO ENJOY THE FACT THAT YOUR MOTHER HAS SOLD HER HOUSE.
- OH MY GOD, THAT'S FANTASTIC.
- CONGRATULATIONS, MOM.
- THAT'S SO GOOD.
- WELL, ACTUALLY, IT JUST PASSED INSPECTION.
BRIAN NEEDS TO GET LOAN APPROVAL BEFORE WE CAN-- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH.
CONGRATULATIONS, CARM.
IT'S NOT AN EASY THING TO DO THESE DAYS.
I HAD A LOT OF SUPPORT.
- BRIAN AND JANINE MUST BE SO HAPPY.
- I HOPE SO.
JUST THE TWO? IT'S BIG, RIGHT? IT'S A MANSION.
Tony: PASS THE SALAD.
THEY HAVE A BABY ON THE WAY.
( silverware clinking ) - ( thunder rumbling ) - ( phone ringing ) - HELLO? - Carmela on pne: Have you looked outside? - ( rain pouring ) - ( thunder rumbles ) OH, JESUS, MELLIE.
WE REPLACED 60%, 50% of the bad lumber with Doug fir.
WHAT ABOUT THE STUDS? AND OSE HEADERS UPSTAIRS? I'M NAUSEOUS.
OH, FOR THE 100th TIME, I'VE DONE A TON OF HOUSES USING THE SAME CONSTRUCTION BEFORE THESE SOB SISTERS TOOK OVER THE BUILDING DEPARTMENT AND I'M NOT LOSING ANY SLEEP.
- ( dial tone ) - ( phone beeps ) ( thunder crashes ) LUNCH.
- MORTADELL' AND PROVOLONE.
- THAT'S CHRISSY.
HO, THE STERIOUS STRANGER.
- HEY.
- LONG TIME.
- Paulie: SIT.
- I HAD TO DROP ELI OFF AT PHYSICAL THERAPY.
I THOUGHT I WOULD CHECK IN ON THE BRAIN TRUST HERE.
- ASETT', PLAY A HAND.
- YEAH, DON'T BE SHY, SHYLOCK.
I GOT A LITTLE TIME.
WHY NOT? "VY NOT," HE SAYS.
DID YOU HEAR THE ONE ABOUT THE JEWISH TERRORIST? HE WAS GONNA HIJACK A PLANE, BUT HE DIDN'T WANNA USE HIS MILES.
( all laugh ) - YOU WANT A SANDWICH? - NO, I JUST ATE, THANKS.
HE'S NOT HERE TO EAT.
HE'S HERE FOR THE RENT.
THE RENT, THE RENT.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL HAVE A BEER.
- HERE YOU GO.
- WILL YOU STOP ALREADY? THAT SHOULD GET ME THROUGH ANOTHER WEEK, RIGHT? I GOT SOME SPARE CHANGE HERE TOO.
( scraping ) IT'S A JOKE.
WHERE'S THAT SENSE OF HUMOR? YOU SHOULD PUT THIS IN THE POT, - MAKE THINGS INTERESTING.
- I'LL TAKA SHOT AT THAT.
- LET'S PLAY.
- LET'S SEE IT.
ARE YOU SURE YOU DID IT RIGHT? YES, AND IT'S NORMAL.
MAYBE IT WAS THE KUNG PAO.
- GET ME A DRINK.
- SURE, ALCOHOL, THAT'S GOOD FOR IT.
GET ONE YOURSELF.
IT'S NOT THE FUCKING MSG.
IT'S TONY SOPRANO.
( sighs ) YOU KNOW, HE REALLY HELPED WHEN I WAS IN THE HOITAL.
- NEVER LEND FRIENDS MONEY, ELI.
- HE STILL WON'T PAY? THAT'S THE LEAST OF IT.
HE'S ALL WORKED UP OR SOMETHING.
I DON'T LIKE THE WAY HE TALKS.
THATHOSTILE REMARKS.
IT.
IT'S NOT LIKE HIM.
MAKES ME WORRY.
YEAH, I CAN SEE THAT.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? - HMM.
- COME ON.
TONY'S NOT GONNA HURT YOU.
YOU'VE SEEN HOW THESE ITALIANS WORK.
FOR THE MOST PART, IT'S OKAY.
GET THEM CORNERED, YOU'RE DEALING WITH NOTHING MORE THAN AN ANIMAL.
( chuckles ) WHAT, YOU THINK HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU NOW? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW.
HE'S THE GUY I CALL TO DEAL WITH PEOPLE LIKE HIM.
HE'S A RICH MAN.
HE'LL PAY.
MINUS ASSETS? I WOULD SAY UNDER SIX.
- COME ON, HE'S A BOSS.
- I'VE KNOWN HIM FOR A LONG TIME.
MONEY GOES IN ONE HAND AND RIGHT OUT THE OTHER.
THE MORE HE MAKES, THE MORE HE SPENDS.
THAT WIFE? ELI, AT WHAT POINT IS IT CHEAPER FOR HIM TO SETTLE IT ANOTHER WAY? ( jazz music playing ) ( all cheer ) - THAT'S THREE IN A ROW, ASSHOLES.
- I'M BUMPING UP HERE.
Dealer: THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN.
ROGER WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU FROM HERE ON.
ENJOY THE BORGATA.
YEAH, RIGHT.
TIME TO GO.
YEAH, WE'RE UP ABOUTS.
I COULD GO FOR A RIB EYE, FLINTSTONE SIZE.
NO KIDDING.
WHAT, BECAUSE I'M UP? - HOLY SHIT.
- WHAT? BATAVIA IN THE FIFTH.
TWO TO ONE.
MEADOW GOLD IN THE FIFTH.
WE GOTTA DO THAT.
THREE MINUTES TO POST.
- Tony: GLENLIVET ROCKS.
- Silvio: SEVEN AND SEVEN.
WHAT DO YOU HAVE ON TAP? GIVE HIM A BEER, ANYTHING.
FUCK IT, I DON'T WANNA MISS THIS.
BATAVIA-- HERE WE GO.
- WHERE'S THE GODDAMN SOUND? - THE BOSS PUT $18,000 PLUS ON THIS.
- MAYBE $25,000.
- YEAH? WHAT THE FUCK'S YOUR PROBLEM? NOTHING, I'M EXCITED.
WHAT DO YOU WANT? Tony: ALL RIGHT, THEY'RE RUNNING HERE.
WHERE'S THE FUCKING SOUND? - Bacala: IT'S ON, TON'.
- ( announcer talking ) Tony: GO, GIRL! - GO, YOU FUCKING NAG.
- Christopher: GO! ( all yelling ) Man: THERE YOU GO.
- Tony: COME ON, BABY.
- Bacala: SHE'S IN THE LEAD! - SHE'S IN THE LEAD, COME ON.
- COME ON, GO, GIRL! ( all shouting ) GO GO GO! THAT A GIRL! GO GO GO! Announcer: Rounding the turn, Swelligant, Meadow Gold, Mestizo-- Kir Royale and Smoosh Baby falling back.
It's Swelligant and Meadow Gold.
- COME ON, MEAD! - Kir Royale on the outside.
Swelligant and Meadow Gold - Swelligant and Meadow Gold - FUCKING GO! And it's Swelligant by a nose.
Meadow Gold to place, Kir Royale rounding out the top.
( voice slows ) Mestizo, Smoosh Baby in the five ot.
- BY A CUNT HAIR, TONY.
- Bacala: HEARTBREAKER.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, HUH? MADAM, YOUR DESERT.
- I DIDN'T ORDER NOTHING.
- I ORDERED FOR YOU.
YOU KNOW I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY WEIGHT.
WHAT IS THIS? OH MY GOD.
ANTHONY? - YOU LIKE IT? - IT'S GORGEOUS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.
LOOK, I KNOW YOU'RE SCARED, OKAY? ALL THE PROBLEMS YOU HAD WITH HECTOR'S DAD-- I'M NOT LIKE THAT.
I KNOW.
IT'S NOT JUST THAT.
WELL, WHAT THEN? I'M GONNA WORKMY ASS OFF.
YOU KNOW I'LL ALWAYS TAKE CARE OF GUYS.
IN THREE MONTHS I MADE NIGHT MANAGER OF THE PIZZERIA.
IN ANOTHER THREE I'LL BE IN CHARGE OF THE DAY SHIFTS TOO.
A COUPLE YEARS, I'LL OWN A CHAIN OF RESTAURANTS, CLUBS.
YOU'LL NEVER HAVE TO WORK AGAIN.
- LOOK, I LOVE YOU.
- I LOVE YOU TOO.
SO MARRY ME THEN.
AND WE'LL HAVE KIDS.
YOU ALWAYS SAY YOU WANT HECTOR TO HAVE BROTHERS AND SISTERS.
( breathing heavily ) OKAY.
CAN I GET YOU SOME COFFEE? NO, I THINK IT'S TIME FOR OUR TALK HERE.
SO WHAT HAPPENED AT SCHOOL TODAY? I GET BLAMED FOR EVERYTHING.
THE GIRL WAS DEVELOPMENTALLY DISABLED.
UNCLE PHIL SAID HE TALKED TO YOU.
IS HE JUST WASTING HIS BREATH? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING US? THIS TROUBLE YOU'RE CAUSING-- M VERY DISAPPOINTED, BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS WERE A GOOD KID.
- YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.
- WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? SOMETIMES YOU CALL ME "CARLO JR.
" LOOK, ALL I KNOW IS THAT I COULDN'T SHUT YOUR DAD UP ABOUT WHAT A GOOD KID YOU WERE.
- WE WERE FRIENDS, YOU KNOW.
- BUTT BUDDIES? OH, YOU'RE BEING FUNNY.
THAT'S GOOD.
'CAUSE I'M SURE YOU MISS HIM A LOT, WHATEVER HE WAS.
AND NOW I WANNA SAY SOME THINGS.
- YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME.
- I'M NOT MOVING TO FUCKING MAINE! YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT'S GONNA COSTY YOUR MOTHER?AT? - WHATEVER.
- LISTEN TO ME.
OKAY, I'M NOT SOME FUCKING SOCIAL WORKER.
NOW YOU KNOCK THIS WEIRD SHIT OFF, OR I'LL INTRODUCE YOU TO A PLATE-GLASS WINDOW.
SOMEBODY SHOULD HAVE TOLD MY DAD TO KNOCK OFF THE WEIRD SHIT.
YOU GO ABOUT IN PITY FOR YOURSELF.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOTHER? WHAT ABOUT WHAT SHE'S BEEN THROUGH? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT? LOOK, YOUR DAD'S GONE, OKAY? YOU'RE THE MAN OF THE HOUSE NOW.
START FUCKING ACTING LIKE IT.
YOU GET ME? ( sighs ) WELL, I JUST GOT BACK FROM THE CLOSING.
- COME HERE! - ( both laughing ) - ( Tony moans ) - ( Carmela groans ) ( sighs ) WE SHOULD POP THE CHAMPAGNE, - OR I DON'T KNOW, GO OUT OR SOMETHING.
- MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW.
- WHY NOT? - YOU KNOW WHY NOT, TONY.
- IT'S UPSETTING, THIS WHOLE THING.
- JESUS, THE LUMBER AGAIN? CARMELA, YOUR COUSIN BRIAN HAS FUCKED OVER A LOT OF PEOPLE.
TRUST ME.
SO HOW MUCH IN THE END? ALL IN? WELL, AFTER CONSTRUCTION, THE PURCHASE OF THE LAND, CLOSING COSTS, IT MUST BE CLOSE TO SIX.
- OOH.
- YEAH.
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD DO? YOU SHOULD TAKE A CHUNK OF THAT AND PUT IT ON THE JETS.
OH YES, VERY FUNNY.
- I'M SERIOUS.
WE CAN'T GET HURT.
- OH, "WE" NOW? IT'S A SURE THING.
CELIA, SHE WORKS AT THE BING, SHE'S GOT A SISTER LIVES IN SAN DIE, SHE'S AN OSTEOPATH, AND SHE SAYS THAT THE CHARGER'S QB HAS A HAIRLINE FRACTURE IN HIS RIGHT LEG.
AND EVEN VEGAS DOESKNOW ABOUT IT.
I DIDN'T SAY ALL OF IT.
YOU KNOW, JUST A PIECE OF MY HALF.
YOU'RE RICH, TONY.
USE SOME OF THOSE BUNDLES TO COVER IT.
THAT MONEY'S FOR EMERGENCIES ONLY, CARM, YOU KNOW THAT.
AND MY OTHER MONEY'S TIED UP IN ASSET ALLOCATION.
WHAT IS THAT? LISTEN TO ME, OKAY? THIS IS THE GRAVY.
WINDFALL CASH.
THIS IS THE KIND OF SHIT YOU PLAY WITH.
I-- I'M TELLING YOU.
WE ARE GOLDEN HERE.
( CLINKING ) AH, LISTEN, LISTEN.
FORGET IT.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE MENTIONED IT.
I MEAN IT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT, IT'ST I THOUGHT THIS WAS MY MONEY.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU'RE RIGHT.
( speaks Italian ) RENATA? WHAT? - GO TO THE BEDROOM AND LOCK THE DOOR.
- WHAT'S GOING ON? DO AS I ASK.
( knocking ) WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? NICE TO SEE YOU, TOO.
OH, I WAS WATCHING CNN.
FUCKING HEZBOLLAH.
AH, WE'RE RUNNING DOWN TO THE BOAT SHOW IN EDISON.
- THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT TO JOIN? - I'D LOVE TO.
BUENATA'S GOT A MIGRAINE.
THAT'S TOO BAD.
THE VIG.
THREE GRANDS.
SHOULD PUT US UP TO DATE.
LISTEN, I CAN'T TAKE THIS.
GIVE IT ALL TO ME WHENEVER YOU CAN.
- YOU'RE GONNA DO THVERY TIME? - WHATEVER YOU SAY.
SIT DOWN.
HAVE A DRINK.
WE SHOULD GET GOING, PROBABLY.
OKAY.
BUT NEXT TIME.
FOR SURE.
YEAH, NEXT TIME I'LL CALL FIRST.
DID YOU SEE THAT PISSY ATTITUDE? COME ALL THE WAY OUT HERE TO PICK HIM UP NOT TO MENTION GIVE HIM HIS FUCKING VIG IN PERSON.
I MEAN, YOU BELIEVE THIS FUCKING GUY? SHOULD TELL HIM TO GO FUCK HIMSELF AND HIS 200K.
WHAT'S HE GONNA DO ABOUT IT? TO NOT PAY MY DEBTS? HEAD OF THE FAMILY? HOW'S THAT GONNA LOOK? WHO'S GONNA KNOW? IT'S LIKE EDDIE VALENTINE.
THAT GUY FROM PHILLY? WITH THE POLIO LEG AND THE BUILT-UP SHOE? NO, FROM THE FUCKIN' "TWILIGHT ZONE.
" YOU MUST HAVE SEEN THAT ONE.
HE'S A SMALL-TIME HOOD, HE GETS SHOT MAYBE YOU SHOULD START SUCKIN' COCK INSTEAD OF WATCHING TV LAND, 'CAUSE VITO BROUGHT IN THREE TIMES WHAT YOU DO ON CONSTRUCTION.
YEAH.
AND I DIDN'T HAVE THIS FUCKIN' PROBLEM.
GOD FUCKIN' DAMN IT! WHAT? THAT'S GOOD, RIGHT? NO.
I ONLY BET 10.
- BUT YOU WON.
- WHAT DID I SAY? HUH, WHAT DID I TELL YOU? IT'S A SURE THING.
YOU TALK ABOUT THIS CRAP LIKE IT'S SCIENCE, TONY.
I LOST A LOT OF FUCKIN' MONEY.
YOU DIDN'T LOSE.
WE COULD HAVE TURNED YOUR BULLSHIT INTO A FUCKIN' MILLION DOLLARS.
MY "BULLSHIT"? THAT SPEC HOUSE WAS MY INVESTMENT.
- FOR MY FUTURE! - HERE WE GO.
GINNY SACK HAD TO MOVE IN WITH HER FUCKING DAUGHTER, TONY AGAIN WITH GINNY SACK, HUH? JOHN PROVIDED.
SHE'S A FUCKIN' HYSTERIC.
DID YOU EVER THINK I MIGHT KNOW WHAT I'M DOING? YOU AND THE FURNITURE AND THE CLOTHES AND THE CARS.
YOU WOULD HAVE SPENT EVERYTHING I MADE! IF I LET YOU.
YOU KNOW WHAT? THE NEXT TIME YOU WIN, I'LL TAKE A CUT, AND I'LL ROLL THE FUCKIN' DICE.
YOU ALREADY TOOK YOUR CUT, FROM THE BIRD FEEDER.
AND DON'T FUCKIN' DENY IT AGAIN.
WHAT? 40 GRAND IN THE STOCK MARKET? I'D ASK FOR MY PIECE, BUT WAIT, THERE'S NOTHING.
D THAT SPEC HOUSE? I MADE THE DOWN PAYMENT.
I BOUGHT THE MATERIALS.
I LEANED ON THAT BUILDING INSPECTOR WHEN YOU HAD YOUR THUMB UP YOUR ASS! SO STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR MONEY! LET GO OF ME, YOU PIECE OF SHIT! FACT IS YOU'RE A SHITTY BUSINESSWOMAN WHO BUILT A PIECE-OF-SHIT HOUSE THAT'S GONNA CAVE IN AND KILL THAT FUCKING UNBORN BABY ANY DAY! AND NOW YOU CAN'T SLEEP.
GO FUCK YOURSELF! WHEN I'M GONE, YOU CAN LIVE IN A FUCKIN' DUMPSTER FOR ALL I CARE.
( carmela sobbing ) ( door slams ) Boy: I WAS SO-- I TOLD YOU, DUDE.
AT THREE-POINT RANGE, THERE'S NO WAY THE BALL WOULD HIT THE RIM.
THAT WAS THE WORST PASS.
GET LOST.
HEY, NOBODY DROP THE SOAP.
SPAZ-A-FUCKWIT'S IN THE HOUSE.
( boys laughing ) HEY, YOU CAN SEE HIS PUSSY.
( laughter ) WHAT THE FUCK YOU LOOKIN' AT, FAG? ( farts ) - WHAT THE FUCK? - HE ST.
Boy: OH! - OH GOD! - JESUS, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? HE STEPPED IN IT! - AH! - Boy: GROSS! - ( all screaming ) - Boy: HE SHIT IN THE FUCKING SHOWER! ARE YOU CRAZY? COCKSUCKER'S CORVAIR MONZA IS STILL IN HIS GARAGE, SO WE BOOST THE PIECE OF SHIT.
WE'RE HEADING DOWN COMMUNIPAW AVENUE, AND THE FUCKIN' THING STARTS TO DO-SI-DO-- YOU GET WORD ON THE POWER TOOLS? WHAT? YEAH.
SPICS IN FLORIDA SENDING THE FIRST TRUCK FRIDAY.
- HOW ABOUT ALPHONSE AT THE HARDWARE STORE? - READY FOR THE WHOLE LOAD.
SPEAKING OF LOADS-- HEAR THE LATEST ON VITO JR.
? - WHAT? - MARIE CALLED.
HE GOT EXPELLED 'CAUSE HE TOOK A SHIT IN THE SHOWER IN GYM CLASS.
- OH.
- THAT SICK LITTLE FUCK.
YOU SHOULD SEE HIM-- THE MAKEUP.
AND WITHOUT SCHOOL, MARIE SAYS HE'S SHUT IN HIS ROOM ALL DAY.
PROBABLY THINKIN' ABOUT HOW TO PULL A COLUMBINE.
Tony: HA.
BUT THE LITTLE GIRL Paulie: FRANCESCA.
DAD'S GONE.
BROTHER'S A PSYCHO, MOTHER'S A BASKET CASE.
SHE'S NINE YEARS OLD.
WHAT THE FUCK DID SHE EVER DO? TRAGEDY.
LIKE A PEBBLE IN A LAKE.
EVEN THE FISH FEEL IT.
IT'S NOT RIGHT.
VITO WAS ONE OF US.
SO HE SUCKED A COCK.
PRIOR TO THAT, HE WAS OUR FRIEND.
CAN'T JUST CUT HIS FAMILY LOOSE.
THAT PIECE OF SHIT, PHIL, HE'S NEVER GONNA PONY UP.
AND I TELL YOU WHAT: I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT HE DIDN'T COME THROUGH HERE.
- NEVER.
- LET IT GO, TON'.
THIS IS GOOD OF YOU, TON', HELPING MARIE.
I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER IT.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
I GOTTA SWING BY SLAVA'S, LIQUEFY SOME OFFSHORE MONIES.
( Spanish music playing ) YEAH, DUDE.
VAMOS AL LATINO DAY PARADE.
- PADRE.
- YEAH.
HEY, JESUS, YOU GOT OUTTA WORK EARLY.
I NEED TO TALK TO YOU.
WHAT'S THE MATTER? - WHAT'S THIS? - YOUR CLOTHES.
I JUST DID LAUNDRY A COUPLE DAYS AGO.
NOT LAUNDRY.
- MAMI! - NO, PAPI, STAY.
WHAT ARE WE DOING? WHAT ABOUT THE PARADE? I'M GOING WITH MY BROTHER.
WHAT? I NEED TO GIVE THIS BACK TO YOU.
I CAN'T KEEP IT.
WHY? I MEAN, I LOVE YOU.
I LOVE YOU, TOO, ANTHONY.
LOOK, I DON'T KNOW.
MAYBE I DON'T.
ALL'S I KNOW IS I JUST DON'T FEEL IT.
( bass pounding ) YOU HEAR ABOUT THIS THING WITH THE DOLPHINS' KICKER? HE WENT UNDER A WHOLE TRUCK.
YEAH, FUCKIN' MOTORCYCLES, HUH? HELMET SAVED HIS LIFE.
- HE OUT FOR SUNDAY? - MAYBE THE WHOLE SEASON.
AND THE BAUP KICKER? HE'S RIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE.
- AGAINST PHILLY.
- TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA PUT THE WHOLE AND IF I WIN, MARIE SPATAFORE GETS HER FREE RIDE AND THEN SOME.
YEAH, GOOD FOR YOU.
'CAUSE CARLO SAID THE KID WENT INTO THE LITTER BOX AND ATE SOME CAT SHIT.
NO, HE TOOK A SHIT, IN THE SHOWER.
GLAD WE GOT THAT STRAIGHT.
Radio announcer: Hell of a finish.
even tragedy, unable to stop miami.
Final score: Miami 21, philadelphia 7.
Man: When you get special-team support like that, It makes all the difference.
And also, when you see ( shuts off ) ( phone beeps ) HEY, MARIE.
HOW YOU HOLDIN' UP? HE SNUCK OUT AGAIN LAST NIGHT.
LIKE I TOLD YOU, I WANT TO HELP.
GOD BLESS YOU, TONY, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO.
WELL, I DO.
THERE'S THIS CAMP IN IDAHO, AND THEY HANDLE KIDS LIKE HIM.
IDAHO? YOU KNOW, LIKE TOUGH LOVE? YOU KNOW? SAW IT ON TV, AND HONESTLY, I WAS MOVED TO TEARS BY SOME OF THE SUCCESS STORIES.
- IT'S A CAMP? - A SCHOOL CAMP.
Tony, THEY ALLOW CORPORAL PUNISHMENT.
HIS GUIDANCE COUNSELOR TOLDE ABOUT THOSE PLACES, AND THEY'RE IN UTAH AND IDAHO BECAUSE STATE LAW ALLOWS THEM TO STRIKE THE KIDS.
BUT THAT'S JUST FOR THE DETERRENT FACTOR.
LOOK, IT'S 18 GRAND, BUT I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF IT FOR YOU, SO DON'T WORRY.
THERE'S NO GEOGRAPHICAL SOLUTION TO AN EMOTIONAL PROBLEM, MARIE.
MAINE, WHEREVER.
MARIE? YEAH? I KNOW IT'S HARD, BUT IT'S THE BEST THING FOR HIM.
Okay? THANK YOU, TONY.
( indistinct ) ( engine starts ) ( jazz playing ) HEY, TON', ISN'T THAT-- WHAT'S-THEIR-NAMES, USED TO HANG OUT AT THE BING? - WAKE UP, VITO.
- WHAT? VITO, MY NAME IS STEVE.
I'M HERE TO HELP YOU.
YOU'RE GONNA COME WITH US NOW, ALL RIGHT? - COME ON.
- WHAT? COME ON.
NO, LET ME GO! - COME ON.
HEY! - IT'S ALL RIGHT.
- LET GO! MOM, NO! - IT'S GONNA BE OKAY.
I'M SO SORRY, HONEY.
STOP, LET ME GO! IT'LL BE OKAY! HEY, YOU HAVE E STRONG.
YOU'RE DOING THE RIGHT THING.
- WHO ARE YOU? - FRANNY, GO BACK TO BED.
MRS.
SPATAFORE, REALLY, HE'S GONNA BE FINE.
- MOM! - I'M SORRY, HONEY.
Vito Jr.
: NO! NO.
OH GOD.
This one coming right down to the buzzer.
Stackhouse draining a three-pointer As time ran out, leading Dallas to a Over the visiting San Antonio Spurs.
A sterling effort for sure, but you really can't ( mutes TV ) SO WHAT? WE'RE NOT SPEAKING NOW? LISTEN, COME HERE.
( closes drawer ) WHAT? SIT DOWN.
COME ON.
I'M SORRY.
I REALLY AM.
YOU DID REAL GOOD WITH THAT HOUSE.
AND I SHOULD KNOW.
I'M IN CONSTRUCTION.
I'M GLAD TO HEAR YOU APPROVE.
I HAVE BEEN LOSING.
I'M FUCKIN' LOSING RIGHT NOW.
ON A SHITTY STREAK.
SO YOUR SOLUTION IS TO RISK MORE AND MAKE THINGS EVEN WORSE? YOU START CHASING IT.
AND EVERY TIME YOU GET YOUR HANDS AROUND IT YOU FALL FURTHER BACKWARDS.
SO THIS IS ABOUT MONEY? 'CAUSE IT DIDN'T FEEL LIKE IT.
CARM, I SWEAR TO YOU, YOU'RE NOT GONNA BE LIKE GINNY.
I'VE BEEN REAL GOOD ABOUT THAT, AND FRANKLY, IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN TO US.
AND I HATE THAT YOU'RE GOING AROUND ACTING ALL THE TIME LIKE IT WILL.
I WORRY, TONY.
I DO.
YOU ALREADY GOT SHOT.
NOW YOU WON'T EVEN GO DOWN AND GET THE PAPER.
WHO IS OUT THERE? - COME ON - WHAT IS IT? WHAT ARE THE MILLION OTHER POSSIBILITS? THE FBI WAITING TO TAKE YOU AWAY? RIGHT? YOU EAT AND YOU PLAY, AND YOU PRETEND LIKE THERE'S NOT A GIANT PIANO HANGING BY A ROPE JUST OVER THE TOP OF YOUR HEAD EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY.
SEE, THAT'S IT, OKAY? I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS.
NOW, I SURVIVED A FUCKIN' GUNSHOT WOUND.
WHAT ARE THE ODDS ON THAT? TERRIBLE.
SO IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, BIG-PICTUREWISE, I'M UP.
WHAT? WAY UP.
THAT WAS ME, NOT A FIREBOAT.
LIKE FOR BREAKFAST? HMM? RENATA? RENATA? OH GOD, NO.
WAIT WAIT, RENATA.
( dialing ) RENATA.
RENATA, PLEASE, OH, WAIT.
- RENATA, RENATA.
- Woman: 911.
What is the emergency? ( sobbing ) ( knocking on door ) SHE WAS A GREAT GIRL.
THANKS.
THE BEST.
I-- I BROUGHT YOUR MONEY.
SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS.
( jazz playing )