Northern Exposure s06e17 Episode Script
The Graduate
So it is true, huh? What? You did outbid me for this claptrap.
Yep, signed the papers this morning.
But I wouldn't call it a claptrap, Maurice.
I mean, a year ago, before Joe Demeter got sick, this thing was a cash cow.
Yeah, I was going to sweeten my offer to Demeter.
Then that snake-in-the-grass told me that the deal was done.
Yeah, I wish he would've told me which key fit the front door.
You're not serious about this, are you, Maggie? When did you become a player in commercial real estate? Are you afraid of a little competition, Maurice? No, just that this is not a game for dilettantes, that's all.
Well, welcome to show business.
So, 16 ounces of organic apple juice, one teaspoon of biloba leaf extract, blend thoroughly, and voila, one genuine smart drink.
Down the hatch, Cicely.
All right, I figured a little IQ boost was in order on account of some special visitors I've got coming up later today from the U of A in Anchorage.
Seems my homespun dissertation of Casey at the Bat, an anti-filiopietistic metaphor for America's role in post-Cold War geopolitics, might have got me one step closer to that elusive master's degree I've been chipping away at through the postal service.
Hard to believe, Cicely, your number one dabbler just might actually finish something.
I passed my equivalency exam, I submitted my thesis and all I got to do is get through my orals.
Whoa, check out the full-dress studmuffin.
Hi, can I help you? Yes, I'm looking for Holling Vincoeur.
That's me, what can I do for you? Patrick.
Patrick Dulac.
Patrick? Yep.
You two know each other? Know him? I owe mon oncle here just about everything.
Uncle? Term of endearment.
His mother and I were friends in Quebec.
Shelly, this is Patrick Dulac.
Patrick, this is my bride, Shelly.
You did okay, oncle.
A real pleasure.
What brings you all the way to Cicely? I'm on my way to Kyoto.
What are you doing in Japan? I'm a translator with the Canadian Defense Ministry.
Oh.
Good.
Wicked.
Excuse me, Shelly.
Could we talk for a second, you know, in private? Oh, I guess so.
I can't believe I'm finally getting to meet you in person.
Likewise.
I mean, without those monthly checks, my mom and I, we wouldn't have made it.
Just glad I could help out.
Yeah, well, a lot of guys in your position would have turned their back on their responsibilities.
What do you mean? Well, my mom would never speak about it.
Ever since I was a kid, I thought you really were my uncle.
Talk about dense.
It took me all this time to figure out who you really are.
I'm afraid you lost me there.
Now that we're face to face, I can see where I got my looks.
Right, mon pere? Just hold it right there, Patrick.
I was a friend of your mother, nothing more.
You don't want to dishonor my mother.
I understand.
Don't worry, nobody has to know, do they? There's nothing more to know.
Okay.
Listen, my plane doesn't leave Anchorage for a couple of days.
Maybe, if you're not too busy, we could spend some time together.
Well If not, it's okay.
I still wanted to say thanks.
What did he want to talk to you about, H.
Just bringing me up to date on the goings-on back home, you know? Don't give me that.
I could see you two were into something heavy.
Somehow he got the idea that I'm his father.
Can you believe that? Chris Stevens? Yeah? Right through there.
Hi.
Aaron Martin, Lit Department, University of Alaska.
Hey.
I got to tell you, this is a real pleasure.
Well, Professor Martin, welcome to Cicely.
Please.
Aaron.
Okay, Aaron, hard time getting here? No, no, no, I'm used to it.
It's our bi-annual loop, our outreach to the backcountry.
Truth is, I kind of look forward to it.
You moonlight as a deejay? Actually it's a full-time job.
You're kidding? It's hard to believe anybody could pack as much into a dissertation as the one I read and have time for anything but the books.
Well, thank you.
It blew me away, really.
And not just because I'm a dyed-in-the-wool baseball freak.
And the fact that you never finished high school, and the fact that you did time, it's all pretty impressive.
Long drive, you got anything to drink? Tea.
Anything cold? Beer? Now you're talking.
Okay.
So, where did you walk the walk? Huh? West Virginia.
Oh.
Yeah.
Moundsville State Penitentiary.
Joseph Iglita, our warden.
You know, I'm reading this Marielito poet, Enrique Cardenez.
He's doing eight to fifteen in West Virginia.
Do you know him? No.
Stuff's dark, but, man, does it sing.
Aaron, to academia, in a world of ever more compromise and pettiness, the last refuge of ideas and idealism for their own sake.
Hear, hear.
I thought that there was supposed to be two of you.
Hmm.
Professor Schuster, he'll be arriving a little later this afternoon.
He had a graduate seminar to wrap up.
I got to warn you, though.
Dick's a little bent out of shape over the route you've taken towards this degree.
He's afraid it might set some kind of precedent.
Oh? Yeah, I don't want to knock him.
You know, the guy was a tiger in his time, a real monument.
I don't want to poison the well.
Now, I still have a lot to learn about running a movie theater, try everything.
And I still have my charter business, which means I'm going to be away a fair amount of the time.
So, I'm going to be depending heavily on the two of you.
Especially you, Ed.
You're not only the manager, you're my in house film consultant, all right? Which means, I'm going to be relying on your expertise to book the product.
Now, here are some catalogues from the distributors that we'll be dealing with.
I'm thinking we should change the bills a couple of times a week.
And we should avoid first-run pictures in the beginning, because Joe Demeter tells me some of them take What do you think? Diabolique.
Last Year at Marienbad.
Doctor Mabuse, King of Crime.
This is going to be great.
So cool.
You don't know how much I appreciate this shot, Maggie.
A lot of people don't like to hire friends.
Oh, well, who was it who said, "It's better to work with friends then enemies," right? I don't know.
My dad's convinced that I'll be moving back home within a week.
That his money means more to me than me leading my own life.
I think deep down he wants me to fail.
I can't wait to show him.
Okay, now listen.
We get our 35's from the shipping exchange in Anchorage, which I think is pretty self-explanatory.
Twenty-four hours after the paperwork is cleared.
And here are your blazers.
Excellent.
Now, Ed tells me you have experience running a projector? I ran the ones in my dad's media room since forever.
The Italian Straw Hat.
Eyes Without a Face.
This is going to be great! Eyes Without a Face.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, French, 1959.
You really think people are going to respond to that? Oh, yeah, Maggie.
Audiences, they get all emotional over plastic surgery stories.
It's almost a rule of thumb.
Oh.
Christopher Stevens? Yeah, you must be Dick Schuster, U of A.
Professor, it's nice to meet you.
I was just heading to get a cup of coffee.
You want to join me? Yeah, sounds good.
Okay.
All right.
So, has Aaron arrived yet? Yes, this morning.
Well, then I'm sure he's warned you.
Aaron makes no secret of his disdain for traditionalists.
Me in particular.
Yeah.
Frankly, I consider his antipathy a badge of honor.
So how's the hunting here? I brought my Remington in case we could squeeze in a little jacklighting.
There's a herd of caribou out on Loon Lake.
Professor Martin did say you might have some reservations.
He said it that simply, did he? Not often you can find a deconstructionist that succinct.
Excuse me? Deconstruction.
Aaron's basilica, his Holy See.
It's why he's gaga over your Casey at the Bat analysis, and why I, as you say, have reservations.
Look, obviously, Thayer, writing in 1888, couldn't have predicted the collapse of the Soviet Union and the rise of terrorism.
Of course not, it's just a metaphor.
Just a metaphor.
The scalpel of which irrevocably cleaves the work from the artist's intent.
God forbid we should pay homage to a poem as a poem and not just a code.
Look, you're a bright fellow, Mr.
Stevens.
But I have standards to uphold.
Now, I know you don't have any preliminary degrees, and the fact is, if I hadn't been bullied by my youth-addled confreres, I would have cut this off a long time ago.
I have no intention of handing out a diploma for glibness, even erudition.
Come on, let's get that cup of coffee.
What are you doing, Shel? Aren't you coming to bed? All these years, H.
What are you talking about? A check every month since he was a rugrat.
It's not the do-re-mi, Holling.
I just wish you would have told me.
Look, Shel, I'm sorry.
I thought you might take it the wrong way.
You mean, that I'd figure out the skinny the way Patrick did? I thought I'd set the record straight on that.
Because you were good friends with his mom.
That's right.
Holling, you must think I just fell off the tuna truck.
Shelly, the boy lost his father while he was still in diapers.
I had to help out.
It was my duty.
Well, of course it was your duty, Holling.
But not because you and his mom were buds At first, you diss your own daughter, Jackie.
And it practically eats you alive.
And now, it's deja vu all over again.
How can you blow off your own blood? Don't you see, Holling? This is the most bonus thing that could have happened? I've said all I'm going to say.
It's like, Karis Jagger.
I mean, at first, Mick wouldn't even admit the kid was his.
But now, they're totally tight.
Shelly Not only does Miranda gain a brother, but it's your chance to make things right.
To stand up and count your offspring.
Holling.
I've got the smoking piece right here.
What other explanation could there be? Well? Get down, Ed.
How's it going, Maggie? Okay, okay.
There's a lot more details to worry about than I thought.
I know what you mean.
I thought living alone was going to be a breeze, too.
Now I've got all these bills and cleaning deposits.
Well, at least I'm doing it without the help of my family.
Oh, yes.
Well, how are we doing on the gum removal? Oh! I was going to get some single-edge razor blades.
Should come right up.
I'm just taking these upstairs.
Okay.
Hey, now, I noticed the storeroom's not cleared out.
You didn't forget, did you? I was going to borrow my dad's dolly.
Oh.
Look at the time.
It's almost 3:00.
You're going to go, aren't you? Go where? Delores' shower.
She'd die if we didn't show up.
Oh, listen.
No, I sent my regrets.
I mean, I just can't possibly go.
I have too much to do.
Well, you don't mind if I go, do you? Ed's got everything pretty much under control.
I'd only be a couple of hours.
Okay, sure, go ahead.
You're so cool, Maggie.
Thanks, I really appreciate it.
Well, give Delores my congrats.
Professor Martin and I will alternate questions.
Keep your answers concise, yet complete.
Remember, "Brevity is the soul of wit.
" As it is the soul of lingerie.
Dorothy Parker.
Yes, well, I'll begin.
Define the objective correlative.
Who's credited with its origination.
And give an example.
Objective correlative.
It's the concrete, the specific image evoked in a reader or audience.
Generally attributed to T.
S.
Eliot.
An example, "So much depends upon a red wheelbarrow, "glazed with rain water beside the white chickens.
" William Carlos Williams.
Professor Martin? Chris, in what way does the relativism embodied in Melville's duality of evil presage the moral ambiguities of 20th century colonialism? Heaven help us.
Okay, all right, take Moby Dick.
The white whale as unbridled nature, the implacable universe versus old Ahab.
Now, where's the real evil? Is it this gnarly denizen of the deep who chowed down on El Capitan's drumstick? Or, is it the crazed Ahab, obsessed to the exclusion of his humanity with bringing down this great white whale to its knees.
Isn't that the whole paradox of colonialism? Right there in a nutshell? The benevolent imperialist? The hubris of the First World? The Marine corporal with the Zippo in Nam who had to burn down the village in order to save it? Shall I continue? No, no, I think that's dead-on.
Define and give an example of You've got the grub, Patrick? Right here, Shelly.
What do you think, Randi? Is this rave, or what? It's not every day you get a chance for this kind of family bondage.
I always dreamed about this.
Snowflakes that stick to your hairdo and lashes.
Mittens on kittens.
Newspaper bundles tied up with string.
Here we are.
This is so great, eh? I love sleigh rides.
It was Shelly's idea, really.
How's it going, Holling? I only rented this rig for four hours.
You know Gil Le Fleur, he won't cut us five minutes grace slack.
Just a couple of minutes more.
Too bad you can't be here for Thanksgiving.
Maybe we can come and visit you in Kyoto sometime.
Oh, that would be great.
They've got special guest housing there for relatives.
Oh, and when you come visit us, we'll clear out the gun room, and when you're married and we're grandparents, I bet Miranda will be old enough to baby-sit, huh? You know, Mom's got this old picture of you.
You got on this great, wide-brim Panama hat.
You don't still have it, do you? Are you kidding? Holling? He's probably still got the socks he was wearing in the picture.
Just about ready to go.
Let's do it to it.
Hey, Pat.
Do you know any good sleigh songs? The only one I can remember is Over the River and Through the Woods.
All the ones I know are in French.
Oh, that's cool, huh? Oh, I know.
How about, When The Ice Worms Nest Again? Oh, yeah.
Hey, H.
You remember that.
I heard you sing it in the shower.
There's a dusky, husky maiden in the Arctic Come on, H.
And she waits for me but it is not in vain Sing, Holling.
For someday I'll put my mukluks on and ask her Giddy-up! If she'll wed me when the ice worms nest again In the land of the ice and snow Where it's 99 below and the polar bears Oh, Heather, where are all the Milk Duds? Somebody hurled in the bathroom.
They did? What should we do? I guess we'd better clean it up.
Ed, I can't.
I can't go back in there.
I have this weird thing when I smell vomit.
I feel like throwing up, too.
How about some service here? Okay, look, you take the counter.
Sorry.
Popcorn, please.
Excuse me, Winnie.
Sorry, Minnie, I got to tidy up in here.
Oh, reel change.
I'll be right back.
What the Come on! Thank you.
What can I get for you? A large root beer to wash down the stale popcorn.
Sorry.
Want to go watch from the booth? It's cool from up there.
I don't think so, Heather.
The Bicycle Thief sells a lot of popcorn.
A buck, please.
You know, Maurice, I think President Tunberg still wants you to endow a chair one day.
You're always trying, aren't you, Dick? Well, be quiet about it and hold out your glass.
It all depends on how my money is used.
You know, I was really surprised that Stevens here had the gumption to go the distance.
Maybe I was wrong about the lad after all.
Gentlemen, what do you say we retire to the living room? You know, speaking of the campi, I was doing some rereading.
Some essays on the deconstruction thing.
Jacques Derrida and Roland Barthes.
The more I read, the more the contradiction just whacked me in the head.
I mean, whatever happened to "truth is beauty, beauty truth"? It's the very multiplicity of interpretations that's the heart of deconstruction.
Deconstruction? It is only when you remove the author as the final arbiter that all the suppressed meanings are allowed to proliferate.
Ergo, misinterpretation is no longer a literary crime.
Nor is plagiarism, for that matter.
Think of the interpretive freedom that that allows.
Take Chris' thesis for example.
Mighty Casey is not just a.
400 slugger.
He's not? No.
He's Nietzsche's Ãbermensch.
Yeah, yeah, I had the notion that the world's come to depend on Uncle Sam to solve all its problems.
Just like the fans in Mudville expect Casey to knock it out of the park every time he steps up.
Hermenuetic license at its best.
In one fell swoop, you and your car-jacking protégé there have put 2,000 years of accumulated knowledge into a rhetorical Osterizer and grinded it all into oblivion! Ah, the last gasp of the dead, white European male.
Or as I prefer to call it, the pale, penis people.
Oh, listen to that! Anything that smacks of, you know, reverence for tradition, or the support of objective standards, falls prostrate to the almighty god of political correctness.
Ah! So now the real agenda comes out, huh? Determined to hang on to this department chair to the bitter end, aren't you, Dick? Be a few more years, buddy boy, you'd better get used to those faculty apartments.
You guys! All right, throw out Jane Austen.
All she did is validate imperialism.
Who needs Shakespeare? An elitist punster at best.
And all the while, we're shamelessly pandering to the loudest of the disenfranchised.
It's college through a boom box.
Well done, Dick.
Bigotry with panache.
You son of a bitch! Come on! Knock it off! Hold it! It's only literature, for goodness sake! Maggie? Oh, hey.
Hey, Maggie, I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Oh, no, what's up? Well, I don't want to make any more out of this than necessary, but yesterday three people came into my office, all complaining about stomach cramps, nausea, fever, so I ran some gram stains and I found traces of staphylococci.
And why are you telling me all this? Well, it was definitely a point source outbreak.
They had all been to the matinee yesterday and they all had a popcorn.
Best I can figure, the butter you're serving went rancid and provided a growing medium for the bacteria.
You're kidding me? I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to dump out all the old butter and sterilize the dispenser.
Oh, God.
Well, there's no permanent damage or anything.
And I'll definitely keep it under my hat.
No sense panicking anyone, you know, as long as you get it all taken care of.
All right, sure.
Thank you.
You're welcome, good luck.
All right, listen up, men.
We've got a sniper out there.
He's pinning us down.
If we wait until he gets reinforcements, we're dead.
Somebody's got to take him out.
Beethoven? Van Gogh? Poe? Nevermore.
They got Eddie! My God, they've taken out the whole Transcendental 45th.
Emerson, Fuller, Thoreau.
HQ.
HQ.
We're dying in here.
We need artillery, now! They've taken out the whole Western canon! Why, you dirty sons of No.
Shakes, it's too hot! Thus am I slain.
Oh, Shakes, Shakes, talk to me.
"Tis a far, far better thing I do.
" Shakes? Yeah, Sarge? That's Dickens.
Damn you! You.
"What'd I say?" Question of the hour.
"Tell your mama, tell your pa, I'm going to send you back to Arkansas, hey, hey.
" Arkansas? Why ask Brother Ray what he meant by that? Doesn't art speak for itself? Hmm? I mean, you analyze something too much, you just end up grinding it in the dust.
Sure don't feel like dancing, I'll tell you that much.
Who was I kidding? A sheepskin on the wall.
Yeah, right.
I should've never opened that matchbook.
"We're looking for people who like to think.
" "What'd I say," hmm? Somebody tell me, please.
Quite a legacy, Holling.
First, Jackie, then little Miranda, and now Patrick.
The Johnny Appleseed of the North.
You okay, H.
You hardly touched your Salisbury steak.
Just not hungry, is all.
I'd like to propose a toast.
It's been such a wonderful evening.
The warmth, the super food, the fine wine.
Maybe a little too much wine.
I'm sorry, I'm not very good at making speeches.
We can't hold our liquor all year, boy.
Get on with it.
To Holling Vincoeur, who has to be the finest, most generous, most moral man I've ever known.
Without him I'd be nothing.
Literally.
May the sun always shine upon him.
May God's grace go with him wherever he goes.
And may I someday learn to be half the man my father is.
Stop it! It's a lie.
The whole thing.
All of it, it's nothing but a damnable lie.
I don't understand.
I'm not your father, you got that? I am not your father.
H.
, we've been through this.
I only said that because I was too much of a coward to admit the real truth.
I can't be your father, Patrick.
Because Because I murdered your dad.
That's the real truth.
I shot him dead.
Deader than one of those stuffed animal heads downstairs.
We had a fight.
We struggled over a gun, the next thing I know, he was lying on the ground.
I ran before they could charge me with murder.
Hey, come on, Holling.
It's not funny now.
That's where the money came from.
Guilt.
I deprived you and your mother of the family's only breadwinner.
What else could I do? You wanted the truth? You got it.
Oh, Carl, could you put that out? Sorry.
Thanks.
Excuse me, sorry.
Hey, Phil.
Hey, Maggie.
How's the movie? It's good, it's real good.
Good.
I see you brought your own snacks.
You know, we really don't allow that.
Sorry.
Where's Michelle? Oh, she's got a cold.
Oh, again? Another one? It's the same one, actually.
It never seems to go away.
Oh, and you're a doctor.
Listen, I've been going through some strange stuff myself.
You know, I can't eat, I'm up half the night, and I'm getting the dry heaves.
You didn't eat any of the bad popcorn, did you? No, no.
I don't know and I don't think I'm getting a fever.
I don't think I have one.
Oh, sorry.
Hey, could you step outside into the lobby for a minute? Okay? Yeah, sure.
I don't know what it is, Phil.
It's just, I've been hyperventilating, my stomach's been in knots Have you changed your diet significantly? No, no, not really.
Except I can hardly keep anything down.
Heather? Heather? Would you mind doing a quick pass with the carpet sweeper? Sure, as soon as these are dry.
When did this all begin? I don't know, three or four days.
Since you've opened the theater.
Yeah, I guess.
Why? Well, it could be stress-related.
Stress? You open a new business, it's a lot of money, a lot of responsibility.
Stress is a natural reaction.
Oh, I see.
You think I can't cut it.
No, Maggie, I didn't say that.
Because I'm a woman, I don't have the wherewithal to survive in a competitive environment.
Maggie That I should just wave the white flag and sell out to the big boy.
I don't know.
Do you think I could go in and watch the rest of the movie? I could understand if you want me to sleep on the couch.
What? No way.
I mean, I can't imagine you just taking him out.
You must have had a reason, babe.
This interests you? Hello? H.
You're my death-do-us-part.
Patrick's father, he and I both worked on a tobacco farm in the Saint Lawrence lowland.
Philemon was a real hothead, had a temper like a wolverine.
I was pretty much of a hell-raiser myself in those days.
One Sunday morning, when we were both in the local boulangerie, both a little hungover.
Philemon was there before I was, but he forgot to take a number until after I did.
When the baker tried to serve me first, Philemon became enraged and went for his iron.
Pulled out a five-shot snubby and threatened to shoot me.
Over a bakery ticket? Men have been killed for less.
I went for the gun, we both struggled, we went down.
Philemon never got up.
Old Gillenoux the baker started screaming, "Meurtrier! Meurtrier!" I turned tail and I ran.
You? You booked on the situation? I know.
Well, I mean, if it was self-defense or something.
There wasn't much chance for justice in that town.
You know about my father.
The town hated our family, and for good cause.
All these years, H.
Lamming it.
I got away as far as I could.
Took a lumber job in Nelson.
And that's when it started, me sending money back to the widow.
I can't imagine his forgetting about this.
Maybe I should call the station.
Hi.
Chris wanted me to give you both a message.
He apologizes, but he asks that you meet him at Minnifield field.
Meet him? I don't understand.
Does he intend to complete his orals or not? I think so.
He asks that you bear with him.
Maggie? You wanted to see us? Please.
Sit down.
I think I got next week's pics all figured out.
How does Mister Hulot's Holiday and The Blue AngeI sound? Well, actually that's what I wanted to talk about.
We're going to have to overhaul the way we've been doing things.
We do? Yes.
I mean, if we stay on the road that we're on, I just feel that we could have a train wreck and then Maurice is going to be owning this theater.
Maurice? But, well, he only likes police procedurals.
For starters, we've got to back off these obscure classics and these cult films.
If you want to run Eyes Without a Face or Eraserhead, we can set aside a midnight movie every other Saturday.
But the rest of the time, we have to run shows that say "box office.
" I mean, they don't call it "show art" do they? They call it "show business.
" Oh.
What does this mean, Maggie? Well, it means that I want you to get on the phone and book Dumb & Dumber.
Dumb & Dumber.
Yes, and if we have to go to first-run films, we will.
But you said those cost more.
Not if we bicycle prints between here and the Sleetmute Egyptian.
I see.
Well, that's all for now, Ed.
Thanks.
Oh.
He's such a snob about films.
But in a way, that's what makes him so lovable.
You know, Heather, I had this problem.
And I've had this problem all my life.
Maybe I can help.
Well, you know, my problem is I've always wanted everybody to like me.
Me, too.
I mean, it's like I'm constantly running for homecoming queen.
I mean, I once was homecoming queen and Cool.
Yeah.
You see, I'm so afraid of getting people mad at me that it's hurt my own interest.
Look, I've just realized that I can't always do the popular thing, nobody can.
You know, sometimes I just have to do what's right, even if that makes some people hate me.
I took some cold medicine and slept through my alarm.
I know, you know, and I can overlook all of that.
But not the popcorn incident.
I mean that was inexcusable.
You made people sick.
That's not fair.
I thought we used Golden Topping.
That stuff never goes bad.
Yes, but, Heather, I found the can sitting on the heater vents.
I don't remember that.
So what I'm trying to say is, Heather, you're fired.
Holling! Patrick! Pick up the poignard.
Easy now, Patrick.
Who is this guy? Son of the man Holling shot.
Pick up the poignard.
Don't do this, Patrick.
I'm defending the honor of my father you murdered.
Holling popped the cap on a guy? Québecois business.
He butted in front of him in line.
He pulled a gun on me first.
He died over a lousy day-old croissant.
The boy grew up without a dad.
That's a terrible thing.
We lost Father when I was 14.
Equestrian fall.
It definitely changed me.
He's been sending you money since you were a baby, and you don't even give a flyer? Do you think that sending money could make up for what he did? What money? Holling's been supporting Patrick for 25 years.
Say what? How much have you sent him, Holling? $60 a month.
Some months, over a hundred.
How can you put a price on a man's life? Insurance companies do it all the time.
$60 a month, $20,000.
And that's not adjusted for inflation.
Pick up the poignard! I won't.
Give me the knife.
Come on.
Come on, I'll pour you a beer.
What's the meaning of this, Mr.
Stevens? What's the meaning? That's a good question.
Call it art, call it truth, call it baseball.
Well, I take it you're unwilling to finish your oral examination? Well, that's up to you.
I started thinking after our conversation at Maurice's the other night, maybe I was wrong about old Casey.
I see no need for second guessing.
Your dissertation was aces, Chris.
Yeah, maybe.
I just thought I'd take another swing at it, so to speak.
You know, try to get at the heart of what Thayer was trying to say.
I thought you were past authorial reverence.
Professor Martin, you're up.
What? Take the bat.
You're the catcher, Professor Schuster.
I will not.
You will not.
That's sad.
Eugene, do you mind? You got it.
You're serious? You're not afraid of whiffing are you? Give me a break.
If you don't know your way around a hanging curve, just say.
No, no, no, I should warn you.
I batted.
318 senior year of high school.
All right, let's see your stuff.
"Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt.
"Five thousand tongues applauded as he wiped them on his shirt.
"And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air, "and now Casey stood a-watching with haughty grandeur there.
"Close by the sturdy batsman, the ball unheeded sped.
"'That ain't my style,' said Casey.
" Strike one.
"The umpire said.
" Wide by a mile! "With a smile of Christian charity great, Casey's visage shone.
"He stilled the rising tumult, he made the game go on.
"He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew, "but Casey still ignored it and the umpire said " Strike two! Stay out of it, Dick.
"The sneer is gone from Casey's lips, his teeth are clenched in hate.
"He pounds, with cruel vengeance, his bat upon the plate.
"Now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go.
"And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey's blow.
" You're out of there! "Oh, somewhere in this favored land, the sun is shining bright.
"The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.
"And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout, "but there is no joy in Mudville, mighty Casey has struck out.
" That's what Casey at the Bat is about.
That feeling that's in your gut.
Pretty big line out there.
I guess Forrest Gump really is more popular than Nosferatu.
Oh, look, I know you meant well, Ed.
Oh, it's probably that Tom Hanks.
Yeah, could be.
I bet you if Tom Hanks had played Nosferatu, Oh, almost forgot.
I brought you the trades.
A week and a half old.
Ignore that stuff about HBO.
Thanks, Ed.
Sure, guess I'll open the box office, boss.
You know, Holling, I could have arranged my own flight to Anchorage.
Maggie had a morning flight anyway.
What's this? Open it.
The Panama.
From the picture.
I had no use for it.
I thought maybe you might like it.
That's great.
Thank you, Holling.
Listen, Patrick.
When I told you that I did what I did out of guilt, well, it may have been true, but the way it all turned out, I'm not complaining.
Patrick.
Rice Krispy treats for the plane.
Thank you, Shelly.
I don't know what to say, after what I did.
I guess there's nothing left to say, except Banzai, dude.
You be sure to write.
I will.
Au revoir.
Please rise.
When I call your names, please come forward and receive your diplomas, which are but symbols of your formidable achievements.
Warren Budrow, baccalaureate, Department of Forestry.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Treena Petrakis, master's degree, Waste Water Management.
Congratulations.
Christopher Stevens, master's degree, Comparative Literature.
Congratulations, Mr.
Stevens.
Thank you, sir.
Norma Joelson, master's degree
Yep, signed the papers this morning.
But I wouldn't call it a claptrap, Maurice.
I mean, a year ago, before Joe Demeter got sick, this thing was a cash cow.
Yeah, I was going to sweeten my offer to Demeter.
Then that snake-in-the-grass told me that the deal was done.
Yeah, I wish he would've told me which key fit the front door.
You're not serious about this, are you, Maggie? When did you become a player in commercial real estate? Are you afraid of a little competition, Maurice? No, just that this is not a game for dilettantes, that's all.
Well, welcome to show business.
So, 16 ounces of organic apple juice, one teaspoon of biloba leaf extract, blend thoroughly, and voila, one genuine smart drink.
Down the hatch, Cicely.
All right, I figured a little IQ boost was in order on account of some special visitors I've got coming up later today from the U of A in Anchorage.
Seems my homespun dissertation of Casey at the Bat, an anti-filiopietistic metaphor for America's role in post-Cold War geopolitics, might have got me one step closer to that elusive master's degree I've been chipping away at through the postal service.
Hard to believe, Cicely, your number one dabbler just might actually finish something.
I passed my equivalency exam, I submitted my thesis and all I got to do is get through my orals.
Whoa, check out the full-dress studmuffin.
Hi, can I help you? Yes, I'm looking for Holling Vincoeur.
That's me, what can I do for you? Patrick.
Patrick Dulac.
Patrick? Yep.
You two know each other? Know him? I owe mon oncle here just about everything.
Uncle? Term of endearment.
His mother and I were friends in Quebec.
Shelly, this is Patrick Dulac.
Patrick, this is my bride, Shelly.
You did okay, oncle.
A real pleasure.
What brings you all the way to Cicely? I'm on my way to Kyoto.
What are you doing in Japan? I'm a translator with the Canadian Defense Ministry.
Oh.
Good.
Wicked.
Excuse me, Shelly.
Could we talk for a second, you know, in private? Oh, I guess so.
I can't believe I'm finally getting to meet you in person.
Likewise.
I mean, without those monthly checks, my mom and I, we wouldn't have made it.
Just glad I could help out.
Yeah, well, a lot of guys in your position would have turned their back on their responsibilities.
What do you mean? Well, my mom would never speak about it.
Ever since I was a kid, I thought you really were my uncle.
Talk about dense.
It took me all this time to figure out who you really are.
I'm afraid you lost me there.
Now that we're face to face, I can see where I got my looks.
Right, mon pere? Just hold it right there, Patrick.
I was a friend of your mother, nothing more.
You don't want to dishonor my mother.
I understand.
Don't worry, nobody has to know, do they? There's nothing more to know.
Okay.
Listen, my plane doesn't leave Anchorage for a couple of days.
Maybe, if you're not too busy, we could spend some time together.
Well If not, it's okay.
I still wanted to say thanks.
What did he want to talk to you about, H.
Just bringing me up to date on the goings-on back home, you know? Don't give me that.
I could see you two were into something heavy.
Somehow he got the idea that I'm his father.
Can you believe that? Chris Stevens? Yeah? Right through there.
Hi.
Aaron Martin, Lit Department, University of Alaska.
Hey.
I got to tell you, this is a real pleasure.
Well, Professor Martin, welcome to Cicely.
Please.
Aaron.
Okay, Aaron, hard time getting here? No, no, no, I'm used to it.
It's our bi-annual loop, our outreach to the backcountry.
Truth is, I kind of look forward to it.
You moonlight as a deejay? Actually it's a full-time job.
You're kidding? It's hard to believe anybody could pack as much into a dissertation as the one I read and have time for anything but the books.
Well, thank you.
It blew me away, really.
And not just because I'm a dyed-in-the-wool baseball freak.
And the fact that you never finished high school, and the fact that you did time, it's all pretty impressive.
Long drive, you got anything to drink? Tea.
Anything cold? Beer? Now you're talking.
Okay.
So, where did you walk the walk? Huh? West Virginia.
Oh.
Yeah.
Moundsville State Penitentiary.
Joseph Iglita, our warden.
You know, I'm reading this Marielito poet, Enrique Cardenez.
He's doing eight to fifteen in West Virginia.
Do you know him? No.
Stuff's dark, but, man, does it sing.
Aaron, to academia, in a world of ever more compromise and pettiness, the last refuge of ideas and idealism for their own sake.
Hear, hear.
I thought that there was supposed to be two of you.
Hmm.
Professor Schuster, he'll be arriving a little later this afternoon.
He had a graduate seminar to wrap up.
I got to warn you, though.
Dick's a little bent out of shape over the route you've taken towards this degree.
He's afraid it might set some kind of precedent.
Oh? Yeah, I don't want to knock him.
You know, the guy was a tiger in his time, a real monument.
I don't want to poison the well.
Now, I still have a lot to learn about running a movie theater, try everything.
And I still have my charter business, which means I'm going to be away a fair amount of the time.
So, I'm going to be depending heavily on the two of you.
Especially you, Ed.
You're not only the manager, you're my in house film consultant, all right? Which means, I'm going to be relying on your expertise to book the product.
Now, here are some catalogues from the distributors that we'll be dealing with.
I'm thinking we should change the bills a couple of times a week.
And we should avoid first-run pictures in the beginning, because Joe Demeter tells me some of them take What do you think? Diabolique.
Last Year at Marienbad.
Doctor Mabuse, King of Crime.
This is going to be great.
So cool.
You don't know how much I appreciate this shot, Maggie.
A lot of people don't like to hire friends.
Oh, well, who was it who said, "It's better to work with friends then enemies," right? I don't know.
My dad's convinced that I'll be moving back home within a week.
That his money means more to me than me leading my own life.
I think deep down he wants me to fail.
I can't wait to show him.
Okay, now listen.
We get our 35's from the shipping exchange in Anchorage, which I think is pretty self-explanatory.
Twenty-four hours after the paperwork is cleared.
And here are your blazers.
Excellent.
Now, Ed tells me you have experience running a projector? I ran the ones in my dad's media room since forever.
The Italian Straw Hat.
Eyes Without a Face.
This is going to be great! Eyes Without a Face.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, French, 1959.
You really think people are going to respond to that? Oh, yeah, Maggie.
Audiences, they get all emotional over plastic surgery stories.
It's almost a rule of thumb.
Oh.
Christopher Stevens? Yeah, you must be Dick Schuster, U of A.
Professor, it's nice to meet you.
I was just heading to get a cup of coffee.
You want to join me? Yeah, sounds good.
Okay.
All right.
So, has Aaron arrived yet? Yes, this morning.
Well, then I'm sure he's warned you.
Aaron makes no secret of his disdain for traditionalists.
Me in particular.
Yeah.
Frankly, I consider his antipathy a badge of honor.
So how's the hunting here? I brought my Remington in case we could squeeze in a little jacklighting.
There's a herd of caribou out on Loon Lake.
Professor Martin did say you might have some reservations.
He said it that simply, did he? Not often you can find a deconstructionist that succinct.
Excuse me? Deconstruction.
Aaron's basilica, his Holy See.
It's why he's gaga over your Casey at the Bat analysis, and why I, as you say, have reservations.
Look, obviously, Thayer, writing in 1888, couldn't have predicted the collapse of the Soviet Union and the rise of terrorism.
Of course not, it's just a metaphor.
Just a metaphor.
The scalpel of which irrevocably cleaves the work from the artist's intent.
God forbid we should pay homage to a poem as a poem and not just a code.
Look, you're a bright fellow, Mr.
Stevens.
But I have standards to uphold.
Now, I know you don't have any preliminary degrees, and the fact is, if I hadn't been bullied by my youth-addled confreres, I would have cut this off a long time ago.
I have no intention of handing out a diploma for glibness, even erudition.
Come on, let's get that cup of coffee.
What are you doing, Shel? Aren't you coming to bed? All these years, H.
What are you talking about? A check every month since he was a rugrat.
It's not the do-re-mi, Holling.
I just wish you would have told me.
Look, Shel, I'm sorry.
I thought you might take it the wrong way.
You mean, that I'd figure out the skinny the way Patrick did? I thought I'd set the record straight on that.
Because you were good friends with his mom.
That's right.
Holling, you must think I just fell off the tuna truck.
Shelly, the boy lost his father while he was still in diapers.
I had to help out.
It was my duty.
Well, of course it was your duty, Holling.
But not because you and his mom were buds At first, you diss your own daughter, Jackie.
And it practically eats you alive.
And now, it's deja vu all over again.
How can you blow off your own blood? Don't you see, Holling? This is the most bonus thing that could have happened? I've said all I'm going to say.
It's like, Karis Jagger.
I mean, at first, Mick wouldn't even admit the kid was his.
But now, they're totally tight.
Shelly Not only does Miranda gain a brother, but it's your chance to make things right.
To stand up and count your offspring.
Holling.
I've got the smoking piece right here.
What other explanation could there be? Well? Get down, Ed.
How's it going, Maggie? Okay, okay.
There's a lot more details to worry about than I thought.
I know what you mean.
I thought living alone was going to be a breeze, too.
Now I've got all these bills and cleaning deposits.
Well, at least I'm doing it without the help of my family.
Oh, yes.
Well, how are we doing on the gum removal? Oh! I was going to get some single-edge razor blades.
Should come right up.
I'm just taking these upstairs.
Okay.
Hey, now, I noticed the storeroom's not cleared out.
You didn't forget, did you? I was going to borrow my dad's dolly.
Oh.
Look at the time.
It's almost 3:00.
You're going to go, aren't you? Go where? Delores' shower.
She'd die if we didn't show up.
Oh, listen.
No, I sent my regrets.
I mean, I just can't possibly go.
I have too much to do.
Well, you don't mind if I go, do you? Ed's got everything pretty much under control.
I'd only be a couple of hours.
Okay, sure, go ahead.
You're so cool, Maggie.
Thanks, I really appreciate it.
Well, give Delores my congrats.
Professor Martin and I will alternate questions.
Keep your answers concise, yet complete.
Remember, "Brevity is the soul of wit.
" As it is the soul of lingerie.
Dorothy Parker.
Yes, well, I'll begin.
Define the objective correlative.
Who's credited with its origination.
And give an example.
Objective correlative.
It's the concrete, the specific image evoked in a reader or audience.
Generally attributed to T.
S.
Eliot.
An example, "So much depends upon a red wheelbarrow, "glazed with rain water beside the white chickens.
" William Carlos Williams.
Professor Martin? Chris, in what way does the relativism embodied in Melville's duality of evil presage the moral ambiguities of 20th century colonialism? Heaven help us.
Okay, all right, take Moby Dick.
The white whale as unbridled nature, the implacable universe versus old Ahab.
Now, where's the real evil? Is it this gnarly denizen of the deep who chowed down on El Capitan's drumstick? Or, is it the crazed Ahab, obsessed to the exclusion of his humanity with bringing down this great white whale to its knees.
Isn't that the whole paradox of colonialism? Right there in a nutshell? The benevolent imperialist? The hubris of the First World? The Marine corporal with the Zippo in Nam who had to burn down the village in order to save it? Shall I continue? No, no, I think that's dead-on.
Define and give an example of You've got the grub, Patrick? Right here, Shelly.
What do you think, Randi? Is this rave, or what? It's not every day you get a chance for this kind of family bondage.
I always dreamed about this.
Snowflakes that stick to your hairdo and lashes.
Mittens on kittens.
Newspaper bundles tied up with string.
Here we are.
This is so great, eh? I love sleigh rides.
It was Shelly's idea, really.
How's it going, Holling? I only rented this rig for four hours.
You know Gil Le Fleur, he won't cut us five minutes grace slack.
Just a couple of minutes more.
Too bad you can't be here for Thanksgiving.
Maybe we can come and visit you in Kyoto sometime.
Oh, that would be great.
They've got special guest housing there for relatives.
Oh, and when you come visit us, we'll clear out the gun room, and when you're married and we're grandparents, I bet Miranda will be old enough to baby-sit, huh? You know, Mom's got this old picture of you.
You got on this great, wide-brim Panama hat.
You don't still have it, do you? Are you kidding? Holling? He's probably still got the socks he was wearing in the picture.
Just about ready to go.
Let's do it to it.
Hey, Pat.
Do you know any good sleigh songs? The only one I can remember is Over the River and Through the Woods.
All the ones I know are in French.
Oh, that's cool, huh? Oh, I know.
How about, When The Ice Worms Nest Again? Oh, yeah.
Hey, H.
You remember that.
I heard you sing it in the shower.
There's a dusky, husky maiden in the Arctic Come on, H.
And she waits for me but it is not in vain Sing, Holling.
For someday I'll put my mukluks on and ask her Giddy-up! If she'll wed me when the ice worms nest again In the land of the ice and snow Where it's 99 below and the polar bears Oh, Heather, where are all the Milk Duds? Somebody hurled in the bathroom.
They did? What should we do? I guess we'd better clean it up.
Ed, I can't.
I can't go back in there.
I have this weird thing when I smell vomit.
I feel like throwing up, too.
How about some service here? Okay, look, you take the counter.
Sorry.
Popcorn, please.
Excuse me, Winnie.
Sorry, Minnie, I got to tidy up in here.
Oh, reel change.
I'll be right back.
What the Come on! Thank you.
What can I get for you? A large root beer to wash down the stale popcorn.
Sorry.
Want to go watch from the booth? It's cool from up there.
I don't think so, Heather.
The Bicycle Thief sells a lot of popcorn.
A buck, please.
You know, Maurice, I think President Tunberg still wants you to endow a chair one day.
You're always trying, aren't you, Dick? Well, be quiet about it and hold out your glass.
It all depends on how my money is used.
You know, I was really surprised that Stevens here had the gumption to go the distance.
Maybe I was wrong about the lad after all.
Gentlemen, what do you say we retire to the living room? You know, speaking of the campi, I was doing some rereading.
Some essays on the deconstruction thing.
Jacques Derrida and Roland Barthes.
The more I read, the more the contradiction just whacked me in the head.
I mean, whatever happened to "truth is beauty, beauty truth"? It's the very multiplicity of interpretations that's the heart of deconstruction.
Deconstruction? It is only when you remove the author as the final arbiter that all the suppressed meanings are allowed to proliferate.
Ergo, misinterpretation is no longer a literary crime.
Nor is plagiarism, for that matter.
Think of the interpretive freedom that that allows.
Take Chris' thesis for example.
Mighty Casey is not just a.
400 slugger.
He's not? No.
He's Nietzsche's Ãbermensch.
Yeah, yeah, I had the notion that the world's come to depend on Uncle Sam to solve all its problems.
Just like the fans in Mudville expect Casey to knock it out of the park every time he steps up.
Hermenuetic license at its best.
In one fell swoop, you and your car-jacking protégé there have put 2,000 years of accumulated knowledge into a rhetorical Osterizer and grinded it all into oblivion! Ah, the last gasp of the dead, white European male.
Or as I prefer to call it, the pale, penis people.
Oh, listen to that! Anything that smacks of, you know, reverence for tradition, or the support of objective standards, falls prostrate to the almighty god of political correctness.
Ah! So now the real agenda comes out, huh? Determined to hang on to this department chair to the bitter end, aren't you, Dick? Be a few more years, buddy boy, you'd better get used to those faculty apartments.
You guys! All right, throw out Jane Austen.
All she did is validate imperialism.
Who needs Shakespeare? An elitist punster at best.
And all the while, we're shamelessly pandering to the loudest of the disenfranchised.
It's college through a boom box.
Well done, Dick.
Bigotry with panache.
You son of a bitch! Come on! Knock it off! Hold it! It's only literature, for goodness sake! Maggie? Oh, hey.
Hey, Maggie, I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
Oh, no, what's up? Well, I don't want to make any more out of this than necessary, but yesterday three people came into my office, all complaining about stomach cramps, nausea, fever, so I ran some gram stains and I found traces of staphylococci.
And why are you telling me all this? Well, it was definitely a point source outbreak.
They had all been to the matinee yesterday and they all had a popcorn.
Best I can figure, the butter you're serving went rancid and provided a growing medium for the bacteria.
You're kidding me? I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to dump out all the old butter and sterilize the dispenser.
Oh, God.
Well, there's no permanent damage or anything.
And I'll definitely keep it under my hat.
No sense panicking anyone, you know, as long as you get it all taken care of.
All right, sure.
Thank you.
You're welcome, good luck.
All right, listen up, men.
We've got a sniper out there.
He's pinning us down.
If we wait until he gets reinforcements, we're dead.
Somebody's got to take him out.
Beethoven? Van Gogh? Poe? Nevermore.
They got Eddie! My God, they've taken out the whole Transcendental 45th.
Emerson, Fuller, Thoreau.
HQ.
HQ.
We're dying in here.
We need artillery, now! They've taken out the whole Western canon! Why, you dirty sons of No.
Shakes, it's too hot! Thus am I slain.
Oh, Shakes, Shakes, talk to me.
"Tis a far, far better thing I do.
" Shakes? Yeah, Sarge? That's Dickens.
Damn you! You.
"What'd I say?" Question of the hour.
"Tell your mama, tell your pa, I'm going to send you back to Arkansas, hey, hey.
" Arkansas? Why ask Brother Ray what he meant by that? Doesn't art speak for itself? Hmm? I mean, you analyze something too much, you just end up grinding it in the dust.
Sure don't feel like dancing, I'll tell you that much.
Who was I kidding? A sheepskin on the wall.
Yeah, right.
I should've never opened that matchbook.
"We're looking for people who like to think.
" "What'd I say," hmm? Somebody tell me, please.
Quite a legacy, Holling.
First, Jackie, then little Miranda, and now Patrick.
The Johnny Appleseed of the North.
You okay, H.
You hardly touched your Salisbury steak.
Just not hungry, is all.
I'd like to propose a toast.
It's been such a wonderful evening.
The warmth, the super food, the fine wine.
Maybe a little too much wine.
I'm sorry, I'm not very good at making speeches.
We can't hold our liquor all year, boy.
Get on with it.
To Holling Vincoeur, who has to be the finest, most generous, most moral man I've ever known.
Without him I'd be nothing.
Literally.
May the sun always shine upon him.
May God's grace go with him wherever he goes.
And may I someday learn to be half the man my father is.
Stop it! It's a lie.
The whole thing.
All of it, it's nothing but a damnable lie.
I don't understand.
I'm not your father, you got that? I am not your father.
H.
, we've been through this.
I only said that because I was too much of a coward to admit the real truth.
I can't be your father, Patrick.
Because Because I murdered your dad.
That's the real truth.
I shot him dead.
Deader than one of those stuffed animal heads downstairs.
We had a fight.
We struggled over a gun, the next thing I know, he was lying on the ground.
I ran before they could charge me with murder.
Hey, come on, Holling.
It's not funny now.
That's where the money came from.
Guilt.
I deprived you and your mother of the family's only breadwinner.
What else could I do? You wanted the truth? You got it.
Oh, Carl, could you put that out? Sorry.
Thanks.
Excuse me, sorry.
Hey, Phil.
Hey, Maggie.
How's the movie? It's good, it's real good.
Good.
I see you brought your own snacks.
You know, we really don't allow that.
Sorry.
Where's Michelle? Oh, she's got a cold.
Oh, again? Another one? It's the same one, actually.
It never seems to go away.
Oh, and you're a doctor.
Listen, I've been going through some strange stuff myself.
You know, I can't eat, I'm up half the night, and I'm getting the dry heaves.
You didn't eat any of the bad popcorn, did you? No, no.
I don't know and I don't think I'm getting a fever.
I don't think I have one.
Oh, sorry.
Hey, could you step outside into the lobby for a minute? Okay? Yeah, sure.
I don't know what it is, Phil.
It's just, I've been hyperventilating, my stomach's been in knots Have you changed your diet significantly? No, no, not really.
Except I can hardly keep anything down.
Heather? Heather? Would you mind doing a quick pass with the carpet sweeper? Sure, as soon as these are dry.
When did this all begin? I don't know, three or four days.
Since you've opened the theater.
Yeah, I guess.
Why? Well, it could be stress-related.
Stress? You open a new business, it's a lot of money, a lot of responsibility.
Stress is a natural reaction.
Oh, I see.
You think I can't cut it.
No, Maggie, I didn't say that.
Because I'm a woman, I don't have the wherewithal to survive in a competitive environment.
Maggie That I should just wave the white flag and sell out to the big boy.
I don't know.
Do you think I could go in and watch the rest of the movie? I could understand if you want me to sleep on the couch.
What? No way.
I mean, I can't imagine you just taking him out.
You must have had a reason, babe.
This interests you? Hello? H.
You're my death-do-us-part.
Patrick's father, he and I both worked on a tobacco farm in the Saint Lawrence lowland.
Philemon was a real hothead, had a temper like a wolverine.
I was pretty much of a hell-raiser myself in those days.
One Sunday morning, when we were both in the local boulangerie, both a little hungover.
Philemon was there before I was, but he forgot to take a number until after I did.
When the baker tried to serve me first, Philemon became enraged and went for his iron.
Pulled out a five-shot snubby and threatened to shoot me.
Over a bakery ticket? Men have been killed for less.
I went for the gun, we both struggled, we went down.
Philemon never got up.
Old Gillenoux the baker started screaming, "Meurtrier! Meurtrier!" I turned tail and I ran.
You? You booked on the situation? I know.
Well, I mean, if it was self-defense or something.
There wasn't much chance for justice in that town.
You know about my father.
The town hated our family, and for good cause.
All these years, H.
Lamming it.
I got away as far as I could.
Took a lumber job in Nelson.
And that's when it started, me sending money back to the widow.
I can't imagine his forgetting about this.
Maybe I should call the station.
Hi.
Chris wanted me to give you both a message.
He apologizes, but he asks that you meet him at Minnifield field.
Meet him? I don't understand.
Does he intend to complete his orals or not? I think so.
He asks that you bear with him.
Maggie? You wanted to see us? Please.
Sit down.
I think I got next week's pics all figured out.
How does Mister Hulot's Holiday and The Blue AngeI sound? Well, actually that's what I wanted to talk about.
We're going to have to overhaul the way we've been doing things.
We do? Yes.
I mean, if we stay on the road that we're on, I just feel that we could have a train wreck and then Maurice is going to be owning this theater.
Maurice? But, well, he only likes police procedurals.
For starters, we've got to back off these obscure classics and these cult films.
If you want to run Eyes Without a Face or Eraserhead, we can set aside a midnight movie every other Saturday.
But the rest of the time, we have to run shows that say "box office.
" I mean, they don't call it "show art" do they? They call it "show business.
" Oh.
What does this mean, Maggie? Well, it means that I want you to get on the phone and book Dumb & Dumber.
Dumb & Dumber.
Yes, and if we have to go to first-run films, we will.
But you said those cost more.
Not if we bicycle prints between here and the Sleetmute Egyptian.
I see.
Well, that's all for now, Ed.
Thanks.
Oh.
He's such a snob about films.
But in a way, that's what makes him so lovable.
You know, Heather, I had this problem.
And I've had this problem all my life.
Maybe I can help.
Well, you know, my problem is I've always wanted everybody to like me.
Me, too.
I mean, it's like I'm constantly running for homecoming queen.
I mean, I once was homecoming queen and Cool.
Yeah.
You see, I'm so afraid of getting people mad at me that it's hurt my own interest.
Look, I've just realized that I can't always do the popular thing, nobody can.
You know, sometimes I just have to do what's right, even if that makes some people hate me.
I took some cold medicine and slept through my alarm.
I know, you know, and I can overlook all of that.
But not the popcorn incident.
I mean that was inexcusable.
You made people sick.
That's not fair.
I thought we used Golden Topping.
That stuff never goes bad.
Yes, but, Heather, I found the can sitting on the heater vents.
I don't remember that.
So what I'm trying to say is, Heather, you're fired.
Holling! Patrick! Pick up the poignard.
Easy now, Patrick.
Who is this guy? Son of the man Holling shot.
Pick up the poignard.
Don't do this, Patrick.
I'm defending the honor of my father you murdered.
Holling popped the cap on a guy? Québecois business.
He butted in front of him in line.
He pulled a gun on me first.
He died over a lousy day-old croissant.
The boy grew up without a dad.
That's a terrible thing.
We lost Father when I was 14.
Equestrian fall.
It definitely changed me.
He's been sending you money since you were a baby, and you don't even give a flyer? Do you think that sending money could make up for what he did? What money? Holling's been supporting Patrick for 25 years.
Say what? How much have you sent him, Holling? $60 a month.
Some months, over a hundred.
How can you put a price on a man's life? Insurance companies do it all the time.
$60 a month, $20,000.
And that's not adjusted for inflation.
Pick up the poignard! I won't.
Give me the knife.
Come on.
Come on, I'll pour you a beer.
What's the meaning of this, Mr.
Stevens? What's the meaning? That's a good question.
Call it art, call it truth, call it baseball.
Well, I take it you're unwilling to finish your oral examination? Well, that's up to you.
I started thinking after our conversation at Maurice's the other night, maybe I was wrong about old Casey.
I see no need for second guessing.
Your dissertation was aces, Chris.
Yeah, maybe.
I just thought I'd take another swing at it, so to speak.
You know, try to get at the heart of what Thayer was trying to say.
I thought you were past authorial reverence.
Professor Martin, you're up.
What? Take the bat.
You're the catcher, Professor Schuster.
I will not.
You will not.
That's sad.
Eugene, do you mind? You got it.
You're serious? You're not afraid of whiffing are you? Give me a break.
If you don't know your way around a hanging curve, just say.
No, no, no, I should warn you.
I batted.
318 senior year of high school.
All right, let's see your stuff.
"Ten thousand eyes were on him as he rubbed his hands with dirt.
"Five thousand tongues applauded as he wiped them on his shirt.
"And now the leather-covered sphere came hurtling through the air, "and now Casey stood a-watching with haughty grandeur there.
"Close by the sturdy batsman, the ball unheeded sped.
"'That ain't my style,' said Casey.
" Strike one.
"The umpire said.
" Wide by a mile! "With a smile of Christian charity great, Casey's visage shone.
"He stilled the rising tumult, he made the game go on.
"He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the spheroid flew, "but Casey still ignored it and the umpire said " Strike two! Stay out of it, Dick.
"The sneer is gone from Casey's lips, his teeth are clenched in hate.
"He pounds, with cruel vengeance, his bat upon the plate.
"Now the pitcher holds the ball, and now he lets it go.
"And now the air is shattered by the force of Casey's blow.
" You're out of there! "Oh, somewhere in this favored land, the sun is shining bright.
"The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light.
"And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout, "but there is no joy in Mudville, mighty Casey has struck out.
" That's what Casey at the Bat is about.
That feeling that's in your gut.
Pretty big line out there.
I guess Forrest Gump really is more popular than Nosferatu.
Oh, look, I know you meant well, Ed.
Oh, it's probably that Tom Hanks.
Yeah, could be.
I bet you if Tom Hanks had played Nosferatu, Oh, almost forgot.
I brought you the trades.
A week and a half old.
Ignore that stuff about HBO.
Thanks, Ed.
Sure, guess I'll open the box office, boss.
You know, Holling, I could have arranged my own flight to Anchorage.
Maggie had a morning flight anyway.
What's this? Open it.
The Panama.
From the picture.
I had no use for it.
I thought maybe you might like it.
That's great.
Thank you, Holling.
Listen, Patrick.
When I told you that I did what I did out of guilt, well, it may have been true, but the way it all turned out, I'm not complaining.
Patrick.
Rice Krispy treats for the plane.
Thank you, Shelly.
I don't know what to say, after what I did.
I guess there's nothing left to say, except Banzai, dude.
You be sure to write.
I will.
Au revoir.
Please rise.
When I call your names, please come forward and receive your diplomas, which are but symbols of your formidable achievements.
Warren Budrow, baccalaureate, Department of Forestry.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Treena Petrakis, master's degree, Waste Water Management.
Congratulations.
Christopher Stevens, master's degree, Comparative Literature.
Congratulations, Mr.
Stevens.
Thank you, sir.
Norma Joelson, master's degree