Family Ties (1982) s06e19 Episode Script

- Morning, Andy.
- Morning, Mom.
So, what'll it be for breakfast, today, huh? Granola? Oatmeal? Woofer's Delight.
Woofer's Delight.
What's that? It's dog food, Mom.
He saw the commercial on television, he fell in love with it, and now he wants to be a dog.
Buy me some Woofer's Delight.
My favorite is beef flavor.
It'll make my coat shiny.
Morning, darling.
- Morning, sweetie.
- Morning, everyone.
Morning, Dad.
- Woof, woof, woof.
Steven, what are you doing? I don't know.
My boy woofed at me.
I woofed back.
If you bought me some Woofer's Delight, it would show me you really care.
It-it does make its own gravy.
Dad.
Keeps your dog young and frisky.
Ruff, ruff, ruff! - Morning, Mom.
- Hey.
Mal.
Old Yeller.
How are you? Oh.
Ooh.
Oh.
Hey.
- Hey! - Hi, Nick.
Hey! Morning.
Morning.
What, uh, brings you here so bright and early? Well, Mal and I have got to get to the flea market.
- The art show starts today, and I'm exhibiting.
- Oh.
Oh, yeah.
What do you got for the lucky art lovers today? No, show them, honey.
Oh.
So, what is it, Nick self-portrait? It's called The Spirit of Columbus.
You see, it symbolizes the classic beauty of the city.
The, uh, the steel and iron here stand for the river, and the aluminum here stands for the hope and yearning for hope and yearning.
I don't get it, Nick.
That's what separates us.
- You know, that's the difference between us.
- Hmm.
Yeah.
That and about four truckloads of functioning brain matter.
Well, I think it's sweet.
Hey, thanks.
And, uh, you know, the money I get from it will, uh, help build up our nest egg.
N-Nick-Nick, what? What do you need a nest egg for? You're young! You should be footloose and fancy-free, visiting foreign ports Mexico, China other planets.
Mr.
Keaton, Ms.
Keaton, Mal and I are starting to get kind of serious, and, you know, we've even been thinking about maybe getting Nick! Please! Andy we love you very much, but I'm sorry.
We've decided to raise our children as human beings.
Now, when you're older, you can make your own choice.
But right now, you're only six.
In dog years, I'm 42.
In dog years, I'm 287.
And your mother here is 304 Although she doesn't look a day over 150.
It's something different with every kid, isn't it? I don't know, Elyse.
Maybe we shouldn't fight it.
Maybe we should just teach him some tricks and show him off to guests.
Ta-da! We did it! W-Where's the sculpture? I sold it for $200.
The nest egg lives.
Yeah.
So, uh, Nick, that, uh, money must be burning quite a hole in your pocket, huh? No, Dad.
It's going to go into the bank, into our account.
It's the beginning of our nest egg.
Oh.
Come on, Elyse.
Time for his walk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Hey! Hey! - Hi.
How come you guys are so happy? Cartoon festival on TV tonight? No, Alex.
We sold Nick's sculpture.
You what?! Fact is, I could have sold five of 'em.
- Mm-hmm.
- Yep, look at this.
Yeah, and the, uh, parts cost me 20.
Uh, you know, I think I probably made a profit.
I think you probably did.
Let's see.
If you borrow one from the nine Nick, Nick, that is a profit margin of 900%.
I-I've got a whole new appreciation for art.
Okay.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait a minute, Nick.
Nick, did you say you had five other customers? And you didn't take any orders? Well, I don't see how I could.
There was only one statue, Alex.
I mean, what are they teaching at that college? Nick, you've got four other people who are willing to pay you for The Spirit of Columbus, right? Yeah.
Well I think your next step is obvious.
What is that? You make four other statues, and you sell them to those people.
Aw, no, I wouldn't want to do that.
You know, I don't work that way.
You know, I like to look at each piece as a, uh, separate, uh, artistic expression, you know? Oh, grow up! Come on, you think Michelangelo was alive today, he wouldn't be on his back cranking out Sistine Chapel ceilings by the dozens? Well, Alex, I think Nick has a point.
It's-it's a question of artistic conscience.
The Spirit of Columbus is a one-of-a-kind.
I-I know.
That's what I love about it! It's one-of-a-kind.
We can sell millions of 'em! - Eh, I don't know.
- Nick.
Nick.
Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, Nick, listen.
You really care about Mal, right? Sure.
Now, as far as economics goes, Mal may not know much about supply, but she is definitely an expert on demand.
Thanks, Alex.
- Mallory is the ideal consumer.
- Well So you have to be the ideal provider just to keep up with her.
Fortunately, I am the ideal manager.
Oh, wait a minute, Alex.
I know what you're trying to do.
You want to take Nick's artistic gift and-and commercialize it.
Yes! This is a big step for me.
Listen, guys, I I really want you to get your nest egg going.
Now, Nick, I only want what's best for you.
Mal, I only want what's best for you.
And, guys, I only want 25% for me.
Okay, Nick, here you go.
I think we got everything you need.
We got light, we got tools.
You're in a garage.
You're as happy as you can get.
Okay, pal, create.
I'll see you at 5:00.
Nick, you're not creating.
What's the problem? It's not how it works, Alex.
You know, uh, I got to get the right feeling going, I got to be in the right mood.
Nick, you got to make it takes me a month to do one.
Well, then, uh, you better pick up the pace.
Why do I have to do 35? Well, because, Nick, uh, we're having a sale.
See? "Nick Moore, renowned local artist, "offers a limited issue of his famous sculpture, The Spirit of Blank.
" Alex, it's not called The Spirit of Blank.
It's called The Spirit of Columbus.
Well, y-yeah, sure it is, Nick.
Sure it is, sure it is.
And-and when someone from Columbus wants to buy it, well, gosh darn it, that's what we're going to call it.
But if someone from Philadelphia wants to buy it, we're going to call it The Spirit of Philadelphia.
Someone from Hong Kong, we'll call it The Spirit of Hong Kong.
Someone from Toledo, The Spirit of Toledo.
Stop me when you understand this, Nick.
Uh, keep going.
Wherever there are people with spirit, and $200 in their wallet, we got something for their mantle.
What? The Spirit of Blank.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Alex.
You know, I can't work that way.
Um, I-I can't make 'em that fast.
All right, we'll slow down.
We'll slow down.
Hey, it's the first day.
Take it easy.
Only do 30.
That's not how an artist works.
Ah, Nick, have a seat.
Do you think Do you think Leonardo da Vinci only did one painting a day? Uh-uh.
On the day he did the Mona Lisa, he did three other paintings.
Mona Beth.
Mona Cathy.
And my personal favorite, Mona Mona.
Bad news, Alex.
We've been to every junkyard in town, and these are the last of the parts.
Oh, it's not going to be a problem.
See, I got a deal in a place with this guy up in Akron.
He's just going to fabricate the parts and ship 'em down to us.
Oh, h-hey, then they, uh, won't be the real thing.
You know, I kind of like to work with the original parts.
Nick, you're already Let's not get caught up in technicalities.
It's not a technicality, Alex.
The material an artist uses are-are the very essence of his craft.
They influence the way he works, the way he sees the world, and finally, the way his vision fulfills itself.
Mal, the man glues together hubcaps.
Oh, hey, hey, excuse me.
If you think it's that easy, Alex, then why don't you do it? Yeah, all right, Nick, all right, I'll get you started.
All right, Jen, give me a hand with this, okay? We're going to do six bottoms.
Uh, you mean the base.
Base, bottom.
Tomato, "tom-ah-to.
" It's junk.
Who cares? Uh, no, Alex, Alex, that's not the way it goes.
What? All right.
Geez.
Jen.
Ms.
Keaton.
Oh, hi, Nick.
You haven't seen Alex around, have you? No.
Why are you whispering? He is watching me, every minute.
You know, I'm supposed to be working right now.
I need a rest.
And my next break is not coming up till February.
You really been working hard, haven't you? Ms.
Keaton, um you're an artistic type and everything.
I mean, you, uh, design houses, you draw blueprints, you're an architect.
I know what I do.
I guess what I am getting at here is, in a lot of ways, you and I are the same.
I mean, I'm a guy and I got a different name, but otherwise we got a lot of things in common.
And, I mean, in a lot of ways, I think you're the only one that can really understand what I'm going through.
I don't even understand what you're talking about.
I am making all these Spirits of Blank, and for some reason they feel impersonal.
I am not enjoying it.
Well, why are you sticking with it then? Nick? Nick.
Eight more orders came in today.
Oh, great.
Spirit of New York, Spirit of Miami.
The nest egg's looking awfully good.
I'm so excited.
You're asking me why I'm doing it, and that's why.
You know, it's because of Mal.
It's for the nest egg.
Hey.
Nick! Nick! What are you doing out of the garage, Nick? Is it February already? Alex, I-I just wanted to take a little break.
Nick, how many Spirits of Blank have you done today? Oh, about 15.
Look, you see, I-I got a little held up.
- There was this little twist I - No.
Nick, Nick, when I want a twist, I'll call Chubby Checker.
What I want from you is art, okay? Over and over again.
Art, art and more art.
All right? Th-That's what makes a great artist: Volume.
Yeah, I, uh, I forgot.
Okay.
All right.
Hey, uh, I'll see you in February.
There you go.
Yes.
So, things are going pretty well, huh? Oh, Mom, it's incredible.
I mean, people are snapping these things up by the bushel.
I mean, suddenly, art has meaning.
- Great.
- I mean, I can't believe the way people are gobbling up these sculptures, Mom.
And they can make their own, you know, just by driving their car into a wall.
Probably half the price I'm charging 'em.
Alex, I-I think you have to go carefully here.
I mean, to you, money is all that's important, that's all that matters.
But-but I'm not so sure about Nick.
Mom, I'm not totally blind.
I mean, I-I see what's going on here.
I mean, Nick is working very hard, and he feels that his artistic integrity is being violated.
I am just looking out for his future and, in turn, your daughter's future.
I just don't see how a married couple can live on-on the $76 a year he's averaged up to this point.
That's before taxes, Mom.
But-but Nick is an artist.
He's a very sensitive young man.
Mom, they may get married.
We have to face that.
And if Nick doesn't make any money, they're going to be living in this house with you.
You get out there and you get him working.
I don't want to see Nick until February.
Nick! Pretty remarkable, isn't it, sir? I'll say.
What do you call this one? Where are you from, sir? Seattle.
Incredible! Yeah, I mean, that's what this piece is called, uh, The Spirit of Seattle.
Well, I'll take it.
Congratulations, sir, congratulations.
And, uh, sir, just between you and me, I think you're getting the pick of the litter.
Nick.
Nick, isn't that great? Alex just made another sale.
Great.
That makes almost $800 just from tonight.
He may be annoying, but he sure can sell.
- Hi.
- Congratulations.
Seems you've got a smash.
Thanks, Mom.
I guess this is, uh, really adding to the old nest eh nest eh nest eh egg.
Well, Mom, what do you think? One left.
Spirit of Elyse? I'll give you that special one percent family discount.
I don't think so, Alex.
- Okay.
Hey, Dad.
Dad.
- Hmm? - Picture of Jacques Cousteau on the top? - We'll call it The Spirit of PBS.
Hey, partner! Hey! - Hey.
- What do you think? I don't know, Alex.
You know, The Spirit of Columbus used to mean something special to me, but for now, for some reason, it's, uh, lost all its beauty somehow.
Aw, hey.
I never liked it.
You don't, you don't see me bailing out, do you? We got customers here, Nick.
Uh, excuse me.
If you have any questions, may I direct you to the artist, Mr.
Nick Moore.
Oh.
Oh, Bill, wouldn't this be wonderful in the living room? Don't you think it would clash with the drapes? Oh, you're right.
Could we get this in blue? Blue? Uh, you know, I never really thought of it in blue.
Yeah, see, madam, changing the color Would-would make it absolutely beautiful! Uh, how many of these would you like, ma'am? Alex, what are you doing? You can't, you can't change this; this is Nick's art.
- Mal - It's exactly the way Nick envisioned it.
Mal, the customer is always right, okay? Especially when the customer is willing to shell out $250.
I don't know, Alex, uh Nick, what are you doing? It's your work! Either they take it the way it is - or they don't take it at all.
- Look, Mal, if we don't sell these things, we don't get money, and then we won't have our nest egg.
Nick, this is your art.
It's more important than a few dollars.
This is not making you happy.
And if you're not happy, then I'm not going to be happy.
Do you have this in a medium? I suppose we could take it in for you, sir.
No, no, wait! Alex! No.
That's it.
You know, uh, this is the way it is, period.
The way I made it.
You know, it doesn't come in medium, it doesn't come in extra large, and it doesn't come in blue.
- Does it come in beige? - Ooh! Uh I Hey, Nick It's over, Alex.
Don't say anything.
Nick, how can it be over? We are making a lot of money here.
So what? You know, money is not everything.
Shh, Nick.
Come on.
You don't know what you're saying, now.
You're a little tired, okay? Maybe you've been working too hard.
No, no, no.
That is not it.
Nick, I'll tell you what.
You know, y-you know that time off I was promising you in February? Well, Nick, take it now.
It's over, Alex.
It's over, it's over, it's over.
What-what are you trying to tell me, Nick? It's no use.
You don't understand a word I'm saying.
I can be understanding, Nick.
I can.
I can be understanding.
Try me, okay? Try me.
I will understand.
Okay, it's like this.
All this, uh, mass production stuff that you want to do, that's not art.
Every time I do a new sculpture, I want to feel like it's something new, like I'm exploring a new world.
And your way doesn't let me explore.
It doesn't let me be me.
I don't understand, Nick.
I knew it.
I-I'm trying to.
I am.
I real I want to.
I mean, I can see that you mean it.
You're speaking in complete sentences.
Alex, I grew up in a very tough neighborhood.
Most of the guys I hung out with, they're still just hanging out.
And the only time you hear about 'em is when they done something bad.
So how come I didn't wind up like them, huh? How come I feel like getting up every morning? How come such a wonderful girl like Mal sees something special in me? That's a question we've all asked ourselves.
It is because of the art, Alex.
Every time I create a new sculpture, I get this thrill that I am creating something that nobody ever thought of before.
Me, Nick Moore, from the bad part of town.
When you start turning my sculptures out by the hundreds, you take that away.
When you start changing my-my sculptures around to match some lady's drapes, you take that away.
You take away everything I live for.
If you if you get one thrill from one Spirit of Columbus, why not turn out a hundred identical thrills a week? They are not identical.
They're not the same.
No way.
All right, listen.
Let me try to make this simple for you.
Would you, Nick? Okay, okay.
It's like, um no two fingerprints are the same.
Yeah.
And? It's like, uh, no two snowflakes are alike.
So, no two snowflakes are alike.
So what? That's what makes 'em special that they're unique.
Alex, it's just like no two dollar bills are alike.
Ah! Ah.
Uh-huh.
That's-that's, uh See, they got different serial numbers, they come from a different mint.
Well.
Uh, you see, just as the See? The way you feel about money, that's the same way I feel about a new sculpture.
You know, this is amazing.
Uh you and I are a lot alike.
I bet in your mind that's a compliment, huh? Yeah.
Uh, we both have commitment, you know? We both, we both have to do what it is that we do best.
Y-You're not going to believe this, Nick, but we're both artists.
I mean, uh, uh, you're an artist with your hands, and I'm an artist with my mind, but we both create.
And-and and we're both tremendously passionate.
I mean, you're a passionate guy.
I'm-I'm a passionate guy.
Stay where you are, Alex.
Y-You know what I mean.
I mean, your-your palette is-is metal and wire and-and paint.
Mine is dollar signs and decimal points and deals.
But it's the same thing.
We-we both create our own kind of magic.
Alex, is this what, uh, Phil Donahue would call "a bonding moment"? I don't, I don't know, Nick.
Uh, how do you feel about that? Uh, yeah, I guess it is.
I guess it is.
Excuse me.
But if I can have that beautiful statue in beige, I'll take seven.
Uh, ma'am, um, let me, let me, uh, let me tell you a little something about art.
Okay.
You know how each dollar bill is unique? In fact, do you have a-a couple of bucks? Sure.
Here.
Sit, Ubu, sit.
Good dog.