Magnum, P.I. (1980) s06e19 Episode Script

I am looking for my beloved half-brother, Jonathan Higgins.
How's he doing this? I don't know, but it's Higgins all right.
Unhand me at once.
Ooh! Magnum.
Higgins? Jonathan.
Don Luis.
Oh, my God.
Don Luis Mongueo is a national bad joke in Costa de Rosa, and an insult to President Ibenez and his government.
Higgins, what happened? What's going on? That's what I'd like to know.
Gracias, Maria.
Don't be afraid, my dear.
My name is Albert Stanley Higgins and I'm here to help you.
Spending hours staring at Higgins is not exactly my idea of fun.
But when the face staring back at me is red and resigned to defeat, then time wasted with Higgins can actually be described as enjoyable.
In his ordered little world, there's a rule to cover everything, from fighting a war to watering the flowers.
Following the rules is far more important than the reason for them.
There are even rules for following the rules.
And when you dare to vary from his interpretation of the rules, Higgins gets unruly.
This is an outrage.
It's also checkmate Again.
It's not a checkmate.
You cheated! That's five games to one, my favor.
That calls for a congratulatory cigar.
Perhaps this excruciating pain will be a reminder to you the next time you and your friends consider tearing up the estate grounds with one of your childish games.
Over-the-line is not a childish game and I want a cigar! No, you don't deserve one.
You refuse to employ the maneuvers I gave you.
Higgins, how am I supposed to win if I let you pick my offenses? For the last time, we are not competing.
I desperately need practice against the favorite attacks of the grandmasters.
Grandmasters do not resort to amateurish tricks like the Rook Blitz! Castle Blitz.
And Uncle Lyle never lost a game after he came up with Aren't you going to answer that? No.
And I don't recall the name of Uncle Lyle in the annals of world-class play.
Okay, forget it.
Forget it.
I'm just trying to help you win the tournament, that's all.
Hello? Hey, Thomas, open up the gate.
I've got all the stuff out here.
What stuff? The stuff for the party.
Didn't Higgins tell you about it? Party? Higgins? What party? The Hawaiian Islands World Class Invitational Chess tournament Opening Day Reception.
Probably the most important and prestigious function I've ever had the honor to host and I'll need you to take care of the last-minute arrangements.
Sir, shall I see to the front gate? It's been taken care of.
Thank you.
Very good, sir.
Who is that? James.
He'll announce the guests.
I don't have time to go into all the details.
Details? You never told me anything about this! Due to the fact that I have my first match in exactly one hour, and thanks to you, my final practice session was wasted on the Uncle Lyle Blitz! The Castle Blitz and you can make all the fun of it you want, Higgins, but you couldn't beat it, could you? Only because it was so idiotically infantile that it caught me off guard.
Wait! Wait.
Wait, wait, wait What about my tickets to Dave Brubeck? Your wins are invalid.
You were to use maneuvers of my choice.
Now, if you wish to renegotiate Renegotiate? First it was two out of three, then it was three out of five RICk: Hey, Thomas, where do you want the flowers? In the living room.
Rick will take care of the catering.
Agatha is coming by to check the furniture arrangements.
You only have to coordinate with the harpist, the extra help and the parking attendants, in addition to making certain that security is absolutely top notch for the President's arrival.
Did you get the tickets? I'm working on it.
Higgins! Higgins, what are you talking about? What President? President Manuel Ibenez of Costa de Rosa, of course.
President who of what? He's here for the tournament.
Of course.
Please complete the reception preparations by 3:00.
that will give me time to correct your mistakes after I return.
Higgins, you're not taking the Ferrari.
I am, after all, the ranking player on the Island.
It is imperative that I arrive in style.
What about my tickets? Jonathan Higgins? Certainly not.
Thomas Magnum.
Yes.
Well, they told me that you drove a Ferrari so I just assumed that was you.
No, that was someone else.
Let's start all over again.
Alan Johnson.
Aide to President Manuel Ibenez of Costa de Rosa.
I believe that you're supposed to talk to me about security here at Robin's Nest.
Where would you like to start? I know.
I know.
I was thinking it, too.
Higgins always met with security people to go over the system before any visiting dignitary arrived.
He never drove the Ferrari.
And he would never, in his wildest dreams, consider leaving an event as important as the Hawaiian Island Whatchamacallit Reception in mine and Rick's hands.
So something in Higgins' carefully ordered universe was askew.
And I knew it was only a matter of time before I found out what it was.
In the meantime, I figured I could be man enough to overlook the fact that Higgins had tricked me into spending my valuable time with some security expert from Costa de Rosa.
Especially, if four tickets to the Dave Brubeck concert were at stake.
Cigar? No, thanks.
Very capable system.
I'm impressed.
Understand you were with Naval Intelligence? You mind if I have one? Not at all.
I was an army man, myself.
In the CIA.
Well, if there's anything else you want me to show you, um I mean.
I'm sure when you talk to Higgins, you'll tell him how thorough I was.
How thorough the security system is.
I knew that before I even showed up.
You've got quite a reputation.
Now, that's one of the reasons I came to see you.
Do you mind if I sit down? No.
Make yourself at home.
How'd you hurt your leg? It's nothing.
In the war? No, no.
I don't know about yourself, but I'm kind of glad to be out of the intelligence factory.
Got myself a nice, comfortable job working for a guy I like in a pretty little place with clean air, friendly people.
Sure beats working for a living.
But you've got a problem.
Uh Yeah.
I was getting there.
Well, I don't know what anybody told you about me, but I'm not really very interested in getting involved in government cases.
that's why I came to see you.
three weeks ago, we set out on a world tour, kind of a goodwill mission for Costa de Rosa.
Ibenez hates these trips.
But, he knows they're good for his country.
And he also knew that he could stop over here in Hawaii for this big deal chess tournament.
You know, I don't know anything about the game myself, but he's an absolute nutcase for it.
Anyway, uh We received three letters just like this.
All threats on the President's life.
All from the same man, apparently representing some right wing fringe group.
And all of them promising that Ibenez would meet his destiny here.
Why didn't you cancel your stopover in Hawaii? You ever have any dealings with a chess fanatic? He wouldn't let anything stop him from attending this tournament.
Well, you'll have to go to the authorities with this.
Can't.
Ibenez has absolutely forbidden it.
He doesn't believe the guy is serious, and he doesn't want to be perceived as weak or cowardly by asking for help.
I can't tell him how to run his life.
But I like the guy, you know? I'd sure hate to see him get hurt.
My people in Costa de Rosa intercepted several pieces of mail all addressed to a post office box here in Hawaii.
All of them from members of that same fringe group addressed to their leader.
I'm sure he's here.
We've been watching the place, but so far the guy hasn't shown up.
And frankly, I'm running out of time.
Well, suppose Just suppose that I find him.
What then? We turn him over to the proper authorities.
Without fanfare.
Of course, you'd be well compensated.
Miss Alicia Ravensworth with the Ali'i Philharmonic.
Excuse me, where do I put my harp? I'll see what I can do.
thank you very much, I'll find my way out.
Hey, Thomas.
You'd better get in here right away.
Sir, would you like to have I was told there would be someone here to meet me when I got here I understand that and I need to practice I need to practice I don't know where to put that.
And I need to get the precise order in order to construct Well, I'm quite certain it must have been an oversight.
I don't believe he would've deliberately sabotaged you, Jonathan.
Yes, yes.
I'll tell him.
Hi.
Oh, Mr.
Magnum! thank goodness you're here.
I've just had a most disturbing call from Jonathan.
And you look lovely, this afternoon, Miss Chumley.
Oh, why thank you.
We've a bit of a problem, I'm afraid.
Nothing that can't be resolved, I'm sure.
Jonathan's been delayed.
Some problem with the Ferrari.
A bald tire, I believe he said.
I meant to take care of that.
You see? I told him.
At any rate, he had invited the President of Costa de Rosa over for drinks before the rest of the tournament crowd arrived.
they knew each other during the war, and Oh, I see I'm telling you more than you need to know.
Sir? Someone to see Jonathan Higgins.
Oh, dear.
that will be the President.
Don't worry, Agatha.
there is nothing Higgins could have done that I can't take care of.
Mr.
President, I am sorry Mr.
Presidente? No, you have mistaken me for someone else.
I am looking for my beloved half-brother, Jonathan Higgins.
Jonathan? Dios.
Forgive me for my rude behavior.
Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Don Luis Mongueo.
the last of the royal line.
Heir to the throne of Costa de Rosa.
My grandfather was king Fernando.
the last Mongueo to rule Costa de Rosa, massacred by the revolutionaries, with his entire family except for my mother, of course.
Bless you.
Damn plants.
Why's he doing this? I don't know.
But it's Higgins, all right.
Did you hear that accent? An obvious phony.
You can practically see the glue on the goatee.
He better hope that President Ibenez doesn't show up Ibenez? Ibenez, yeah, he better hope he doesn't show up while he's doing that phony imitation of Xavier Cugat.
that could set diplomatic relations back 20 years.
You're right.
I think it's time for Don Luis Higgins to retire before Ibenez arrives.
And that, my dears, is the end of the story.
Fascinating.
Say goodnight, Higgins.
What is the meaning of this? Buenas noches.
Hasta luego.
Your goatee has slipped.
Unhand me at once! Ooh! Good indignation.
that was excellent.
Now if you'll just give me my four Dave Brubeck tickets Magnum! Higgins.
Jonathan.
Don Luis.
Oh, my God Dios mio.
Oh, my God! the President of Costa de Rosa, His Excellency Manuel Ibenez.
Ibenez.
Oh, my God.
Manuel Jonathan.
Presidente.
Don Luis? the Juan Garcia trio.
Juan! Jesus! Julio! Now, the real music can begin! Maravilloso.
Come, we need a dance, Senorita Agatha.
AGAtHA: What? AGAtHA: I'm really not good with Latin steps.
Ah, you're doing it.
Viva! Viva la danza.
Oh, dear! Do not fight it, our hips have minds of their own.
AGAtHA: Si, si! Sorry about the trouble with the tire, but at least the party's a big success.
AGAtHA: Viva! Viva! How could you possibly have confused him for me? the bearing, the mannerisms, the clear-cut difference in character.
Anyone with the slightest degree of intelligence and a discerning eye would know immediately that the man was an imposter.
He's not an imposter, Higgins.
He told me all along he was Don Luis Mongueo.
I just didn't realize your father toured South America in his youth.
Apparently he "toured" everywhere.
But that is beside the point.
the point is, between the flat tire and his arrival, my reception was an utter and complete disaster.
Oh, I don't know, I thought it was kind of touching the way he sang, Don't Cry For Me, Costa de Rosa.
Don Luis Mongueo is a national bad joke in Costa de Rosa and an insult to President Ibenez and his government.
Until I can decide how best to return him to his home, I have asked him not to leave his room.
Don't you think you're being a little harsh? He seemed harmless to me.
this no longer concerns you.
You've made quite a mess out of everything.
Now if you will be kind enough to leave me alone, I still have tomorrow morning's match to attend to.
Okay, okay.
Higgins Higgins, you know, we've been through a lot together over the years.
And no matter how bad things have gotten, no matter how bad they've gotten I've always known that I could depend on you to be a man of honor and integrity.
I mean, you've never once, never once, not ever, in all the time I've known you, gone back on your word.
And that's why I know that you're going to tell me that the tickets have been given to charity.
No! Yes! Goodnight! You're completely sold out, huh? Do you have a waiting list? Uh-huh.
that long, huh? Well, yeah, you could put me down.
Come in.
Senor Magnum.
Yeah, four for Thomas Magnum.
Uh-huh.
the day of the concert.
Yeah.
Right.
What do you think my chances are? Oh Well, thanks anyway.
I am interrupting.
I will go back No, no.
that's all right.
You want some pizza? Beer? You have any sangria? I'm all out.
Beer is fine.
I have a cousin who was born with one leg shorter than the other.
He overcame his limp to become a world renowned flamenco dancer.
Oh.
this, uh It's the war.
I don't like to talk about it.
Ah.
My brother, Jonathan, has done very well for himself to be living in such a place, yes? Yeah, I guess so.
It's important to me to learn as much about him as I can.
Brothers, after all, should be brothers.
Without family, there is nothing.
Uh, Don Luis You think I am being overly sentimental.
No.
Perhaps, being an orphan, I am more sensitive to these matters than most.
You know, there are those, who do not believe that my mother, the lovely Dona Ana, survived the massacre.
Yeah, I had heard there was some discrepancies.
Some day I intend to restore the good name of Mongueo in the hearts of my countrymen.
But for now, it is my brother I am interested in.
Well, I think if there's something you want to know about Higgins, you should ask him.
I have.
Unfortunately, he is Stubborn.
Proud.
I expected no less of him.
But one day, I hope to melt the ice barrier between us that keeps us both isolated and alone.
I will, how you say, come clean with you, Mr.
Magnum.
Thomas.
Tomas! I came here tonight to hire you.
Hire me? teach me this game which so occupies my brother's heart and mind.
Chess? to tell you the truth, I really don't know much about it.
Perhaps through this game I can find a way to bring the Mongueos and the Higginses back together.
I could teach you my Uncle Lyle's Castle Blitz.
Prepare the board.
And damned be he who first cries, basta! No mas! Damn plants.
Bless you.
Something I've discovered living in Paradise.
You can't really hold onto resentment very long.
Sure, I was annoyed at Higgins for not giving me the tickets to the concert.
But, there would be other concerts.
In the meantime, I guess I had a client and a lead to follow up on.
There had been four threatening letters to Ibenez all with the same post office box numbers.
His security chief, Alan Johnson, had been unable to get the name and address of the person who had rented that box.
Anybody there? Hello? Yeah? Hi.
I need to change the address on my post office box.
It's number AJ 8085.
I'm sorry I didn't know anybody was standing right there.
this month's box rent is late.
Oh.
I thought I'd paid that one How much was that, again? Fifteen dollars and thirty-five cents.
Fifteen there you go.
Just cross out your previous address and write the new one on the back.
Right, yeah.
there you are.
thank you.
What happened to your leg? What makes you think there's something wrong with my leg? Did it ever occur to you that maybe, just maybe, I don't want to talk about it? that it might just bring up unhappy memories? Or that I'm just plain sick and tired of everybody I meet asking me, "What happened to your leg?" Did that ever occur to you? Have a nice day.
I was beginning to think that fate was definitely on my side.
Not only in getting even with Higgins but with finding the assassin.
I mean, I was almost embarrassed to have to tell Johnson how easy it had been to get the address of the man who had rented the post office box number.
And the way the guy had left his things in his room, he'd made finding out his identity embarrassingly simple as well.
I no longer thought fate was on my side, I knew it.
But then fate has ways of reminding you that it's never as easy as it seems.
Don Luis? Higgins? Higgins.
Where's Don Luis? He's gone.
Where did he go? When will he be back? I don't know and he won't.
What? Higgins! this is important! I informed him that he had to leave.
He did.
I have my second match in 25 minutes and I do not intend to waste any of them on further, pointless discussion of Don Luis.
But he could be in serious trouble.
then that, I'm afraid, is his problem.
certainly this is one of the most popular matches of the second day of the tournament.
The winner will emerge as one of the overall leaders in the standings.
RICk: Come on, Laurie, it should be easy.
I can't get off early tomorrow, Rick.
Rules are rules.
Look, Laurie, my buddy has got tickets to the Dave Brubeck concert.
I mean, everything's all set up.
Can't you just talk to your manager or something? Look, I'll try.
Okay? Oh.
that's great, baby.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
Rick.
What took you so long? I thought I asked you to keep an eye on Higgins till I got here.
I am.
He's right there.
the hotel put monitors in here so we could watch the chess tournament.
Pretty good idea, huh? Oh, yeah.
Listen, I got to talk to you about What's he doing? Playing chess.
I know that Tilden is studying the board in bewilderment.
He's What's going on? that's what I'd like to know.
He's acknowledging checkmate.
The official is checking and Yes, checkmate! Extraordinary! Jonathan Higgins has set a new tournament record.
Checkmate in seven moves! He won in seven moves! that's the Castle Blitz.
I got to find Higgins.
He's right there, Thomas.
No, I don't have time to explain right now.
Stay here and keep an eye on Don Luis.
It's real important.
Don't let him out of your sight.
Where is he? He's taking a bow.
And don't let him see you either.
from his incredible accomplishment.
That's Higgins, isn't it? Thomas? Th All right, maybe Higgins had been acting very unlike Higgins lately.
But one thing I knew for sure, he would never resort to using a trick like Uncle Lyle's Castle Blitz, especially with the entire chess world watching.
Higgins! Higgins! You in there? Higgins? Higgins, you up there? Which meant only one thing, that the Higgins at the chess tournament wasn't really Higgins.
He was Don Luis.
Which solved the problem of where Don Luis was.
And that left me with only one tripartite question.
Who was Don Luis and why was he doing all these things.
And where had he stashed Higgins? Higgins? Higgins, what happened? How could I look for you when I didn't know you were missing? I'm going as fast as I can.
I don't know, it seemed more likely you'd be in the house somewhere.
Any investigator worth his salt would have thought to look here first.
Higgins! I can't talk now, I'm two hours late for my match.
I can only throw myself You won.
on the mercy of the judges and You won! In seven moves.
Seven.
Don Luis disguised himself as you and won the match.
the Uncle Lyle Blitz! the Castle Blitz Never mind that right now.
I've been disgraced.
You sneezed.
What of it? It's very dusty in there.
Stop that.
What in God's name are you doing? I'm sorry, but there's something I have to talk to you about.
Something very important and I can't do it until I can be sure who you are.
Don't be ridiculous.
You know perfectly well who I tell me a story.
the Gunga Din story.
For God's sake, Magnum this is hardly the time.
If you're Higgins, anytime is the time.
the Gunga Din story now.
Malaysia, 1943.
Our regiment was hopelessly outnumbered, and we faced certain death.
In our ranks was a young Lieutenant Ian Bowerly, and during the lull in the battle he recited, Gunga Din.
I suppose to keep up our courage for facing the inevitable, his eloquent recitation grew increasingly louder, until it thundered through the jungle.
to our amazement, the Japanese troops walked forward.
though they spoke no English they were entranced by the poem.
they allowed us all to leave the area unharmed except for poor Mr.
Bowerly.
As we made our escape, we could hear him reciting other kipling favorites, literally for miles.
to this day, his fate remains unknown.
thank you.
I believe your half-brother is going to assassinate the President of Costa de Rosa.
PRESIDENt: An extraordinary performance.
I've followed tournament play for many years.
Never have I seen such audacity as to use a child's move.
the "rook-flank entrapment" as you call it.
I must admit you have created quite a stir here, today.
Yes, well, I knew it would only work once so I used it against my most formidable opponent.
I'm quite certain that the entire chess world will be debating such a show of style versus content for many years to come.
Excuse me, Mr.
President.
You wanted to freshen up for the reception here at the hotel this evening.
Yes.
thank you, Alan.
thank you for a most enjoyable afternoon.
I should freshen up as well.
Perhaps you'd like to have a drink in my quarters and discuss the "rook-flank" in more detail.
Oh, no, no.
I am only a very interested amateur.
But even I, my friend, have already mastered all the details of the "rook-flank entrapment.
" PRESIDENt: Sixth floor, please.
I'll see you later, Mr.
President.
Certainly, Jonathan.
PRESIDENt: In an hour, Johnson.
"My lineage being what it is, of royal stock and origin "has naturally made me something of an outcast in my own country.
" You're not going to find any clue in a book he just left lying around.
Perhaps, further back.
Clearly, anything of interest to us is going to be found in his locked suitcase.
If you would help me with the lock.
"Should I fail in my attempt "to thwart the evildoers who plot against my country " I don't see why you won't pick this lock.
You do it for anyone else at the drop of a hat.
" a conspiracy to murder our Great President "led by his trusted servant, Alan Johnson.
" this is it, Higgins.
He did leave this for us to find.
Now, listen.
"In the event of my death for I am quite certain "that Johnson knows I am onto his plot to plant a bomb "in His Excellency's car "my only hope is to be remembered by my countrymen "as a patriot and a hero.
" Do you think it's possible he's setting up Alan Johnson to take a fall? You've spent time with him.
How would you describe Don Luis Mongueo? Romantic.
An idealist.
Exactly.
the worst he could be accused of is murdering the English language.
I don't think he would entrap anyone unfairly.
Yes! So we have to assume that he's going to try and stop Johnson.
that's why he disguised himself as you and went to the chess tournament.
Here, let me take a look at that.
Photographs of me.
these look like blow-ups from the negatives I found in the dark room.
He's been doing a character study of you, Higgins.
And not a bad idea, at that.
thank God for my amateur theatrical background.
Does this look all right? Why are you doing this? Because Don Luis is impersonating me and if he's right, we don't want to blow his cover.
Of course.
Now, I'll try to draw Johnson away while you convince Don Luis to turn this matter over to the authorities.
I cannot believe I didn't see this right away.
there was no way you could have known.
He is a consummate professional.
He had us all fooled.
No, but leading Leading me to that address and from there to the boarding house.
It was all too easy.
Of course with my training and perhaps more to the point, the same genetic makeup as it were, I should have been alerted the moment he appeared as an overly flamboyant popinjay.
Popinjay? Dandy, coxcomb, fop.
I should have realized immediately that he was playing a role, misdirecting us.
You're not talking about Alan Johnson.
I am talking about El Mongueo.
Your goatee is crooked.
Would you like to have them removed, Jonathan? What? the flowers.
Would you like to have them removed from the table? they seem to be a problem for you.
No, no.
I just have a cold.
We should be leaving.
Yes, of course.
Excuse me, Jonathan.
Leaving? to go where? I'm afraid I can't be totally unofficial while I'm here.
A quick courtesy visit to your Governor.
Oh, I'm gonna have to meet you at the car, Mr.
Presidente.
the gift you were going to give to the Governor I left in my room.
PRESIDENt: Yes, of course.
the limousine will be at the side entrance.
Five minutes.
Jonathan, as always, a great pleasure.
Mr.
President.
Excuse me.
Rickey! He said it's okay! What? Margie's gonna fill in for me.
What're you talking about? the Dave Brubeck concert.
Are we going or not? Oh, great.
Yeah, that's not a problem.
Hey, what have you done to your hair? It's part of my disguise.
Look, I can't talk to you right now.
Great, just great.
Rick.
You might've told me you found Don Luis.
this isn't Don Luis.
No, it most certainly is not.
Higgins? Where's Don Luis? He followed Ibenez to his room, came back down here, then Ibenez left again.
Left? to go where? To his limo, at the side entrance.
With Johnson? Thomas, that's the weird part.
Johnson disappeared into that stairwell, and then Don Luis followed him.
I'll check on the roof.
I'll try to intercept Ibenez.
Thomas, Thomas! Johnson! Johnson! Show yourself if you are a man! Fight this battle in the open where you can be seen! Johnson! Get in the car.
Presidente! there's a bomb! Run! A bomb! Quickly! I'm all right, thank you.
thank you.
I'm all right.
the assassin has failed, Presidente.
Don Luis Mongueo has saved you.
I am your humblest servant.
No, you are my friend, Don Luis.
You saved my life.
thank you.
RICk: that goatee looks as good as your real one.
Jonathan is letting me borrow it since I had to shave mine off.
I wouldn't want to return home unmasked, uh, so to speak.
It's so terribly exciting.
Going home to a hero's welcome.
Yes.
A very generous gesture on Presidente Ibenez's part, however, I must confess both to him and Jonathan, I am no hero and cannot accept the honor.
Of course you're a hero.
I'm afraid events proved otherwise.
What're you talking about? You don't remember disarming Johnson? I? After the bomb went off, Johnson pulled a gun.
Yeah, you don't remember this? No.
He was going to shoot Ibenez.
You jumped him, you wrestled the gun away from him, without any regard whatsoever for your own personal safety.
Thomas had to hold you back.
You were willing to give up your own life for your country.
I can't think of a better definition of a hero.
I don't recall.
Must've been the hit on the head.
Mmm-hmm.
temporary amnesia.
Your car is ready.
You'll come to visit again? You must come to visit me.
I want to show you that Mongueo hospitality is not so different from Higgins' hospitality.
Viva Costa de Rosa.
Viva Albert Stanley Higgins.
Hear, hear.
Adios, Mr.
Magnum.
tomas.
tomas.
Higgins? Aren't you going to see him out? Hmm? Oh, um, no.
No.
I promised to demonstrate to Agatha the brilliant chess maneuver I had planned to use at the tournament.
Oh.
Incidentally, I carelessly forgot to send these concert tickets off to the charity organization as I had intended.
Since the concert is this evening, it is far too late to send them now.
If you would like to use them.
You sure you're all right? Quite.
Damn plants!