The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air s06e19 Episode Script

But it'll cut into my trick or treat Ha, ha, ha.
Here we go.
But it'll cut into my trick or treat Ha, ha, ha.
I can't do it.
I'm just gonna say my line and go.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
But it'll cut into my trick or treat Ha, ha, ha.
- What are you doing? Ha, ha, ha.
- I can't get it out.
Ha, ha, ha.
[LAUGHING.]
Boy, you stupid.
That boy's so dumb.
DICK: Cut, cut, cut.
Hey, Dick Clark, what you doing here, man? - You're doing a blooper show, aren't you? - Well, yeah.
Yeah, but you're doing it all wrong.
You can't just jump into a blooper show.
- Man, what you know about bloopers? - I think I know a thing or two.
Let me, uh Let me break you off a little something here.
First of all, you gotta have a concept.
Okay.
Okay.
You mean like naked-bikini-model bloopers.
That's a little off topic.
How about something maybe related to the show? That is exactly why you the king, man.
Heh, heh, heh.
[SINGING "FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR THEME.]
Hey, hey, what's up, y'all? Here we are at The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
And I'm about to take you on a special behind-the-scenes tour.
Right now we're at NBC, you know, kind of my home away from home.
Forgot my pass today, but it don't matter none.
I'm like royalty around here, you know what I'm talking about? Hey, hey, brother.
Brother.
Brother, come on.
What about the march? What about the march? [GRUNTING.]
Yeah.
Well, they was They was just playing, you know? They do that all the time, you know.
But come on, let's go inside.
Let's check to see what's going on on the set.
You know, backstage and all that.
Whoo! Ha, ha.
What's up, y'all? Welcome to backstage.
Everybody ain't allowed back here, but I'm hooking y'all up, see? This is where we keep Makeup, Hair, Wardrobe and our dressing rooms and stuff.
You know what? Let's go to James Avery's room.
He plays Uncle Phil on the show.
Look, look.
See? "James Avery.
" His room number is 1730.
I think that's the year he was born.
Look at him.
Fronting.
He know he can't read.
Yo, James.
What's up, brother? What's going on, man? Hey, say what's up to the people.
- What's up? - Ha, ha, ha.
See? Now, we had all our dressing rooms hooked up to match our personalities, you know? And this here is James' personality.
You know, it's like early-American wino.
That kind of thing he's got going.
You know, look.
Oh, you know, he got his Billie Holiday picture up on the wall.
A little Charlie "Bird" Parker, you know.
Boy, I'm telling you, this man got mad flavor.
And let me tell you, he is a consummate professional.
Ha, ha.
That's very kind of you.
You know what? I don't ever remember that man missing a line.
Ever.
What am I about What I'm about to do What I'm about What I'm about What am I about What am I about What am I about Would you just set this mess up? What is it? I'm sorry.
I'm trying.
God knows I'm trying.
MAN: Grab the list away from Will.
Almost made it.
- No, you didn't.
- Yes, I did.
When When When are you gonna come in? MAN: What happened? You missed your place? PHIL: Thank you.
When When When are you gonna come in? [SMITH STAMMERING.]
Boy, boy, boy.
Boy, boy, boy.
So, Robert, you know anything about, uh, fixing this line that I'm screwing up? Keeping money that's not yours is wrong.
- Was that right? - That was it! [BOTH LAUGHING.]
Boy, I'm telling you right now.
Look, see, James' room is fly, right? He got his cabinet here and all this stuff.
This is where he keep his shoes and stuff.
Let's see what he got up in here.
[GRUNTS.]
Boy, I bet Noah could've used one of these Johns.
You know what I'm talking about? Ha, ha, ha.
Ha, ha, ha.
He's really funny.
But you know, Will, ha, ha, ha I really want you out of my room.
I'll see you before the show, James.
Oh, hey.
You know, I know.
Hey, let's go see what Alfonso's doing in Wardrobe.
Here we are.
This is Wardrobe.
This is where they keep all our clothes and all that kind of stuff.
Oh, see? Right here is a pair of Alfonso's pants.
Hey, you know Hey, I think he's in here.
Let's go see.
ALFONSO: Hey, hey! Y'all don't wanna see that.
Hey, come here, come here, come here.
See, now, this is where the wardrobe designers put together all the ideas and stuff like that that they want Alfonso's character to wear.
I think this is his favorite.
What do you want? I've gotta get ready for the show.
No, no.
Say what's up to everybody, man.
- Hello.
- No.
See, I got everybody, I'm taking them backstage, I'm showing them stuff.
All the hush-hush undercover stuff they don't really get to see.
We getting prepared for the show.
What do you do to get prepared? I like to go I sit in my dressing room.
I take my script, I read it over.
Make sure I got my lines right, you never wanna mess up.
- It's really - Yeah.
We only got a half hour, though.
How about you do the Carlton dance real quick? Do the Carlton dance.
Ha, ha, ha.
How about I don't and say I did? Man, that dance is your trademark.
So is overacting.
[WILL SCREAMING.]
[ALFONSO SCREAMING.]
Why? No.
God, why'd you take him? You.
You did this to him.
[CRYING.]
Oh, no.
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! No! No! How could you do this? Oh, God! No! No.
No.
Will, no, please! God, no! Oh, no.
Oh, God.
No.
Oh, God.
How can he do that? How can he do that? Please, no.
Oh, my God.
Look, I will not be publicly embarrassed by, um, um, a problem of me remembering my damn lines.
It won't happen, damn it.
- It ain't gonna happen.
- It's okay.
It's okay.
- I'm not gonna allow it, all right? - It's okay, hey.
It's okay.
- It's over.
- It's all right, man.
It's all right.
- Let it go, man.
- It's over.
- It's okay, man.
- All right.
I can feel the power.
Yes! Yes! Oh, God! [SOBBING.]
[WILL LAUGHS.]
No, no, no.
That's called good show energy.
This is overacting.
I would've expected this from Carlton but not you.
[SOBBING.]
Ashley, no! [WAILING.]
[WAILING.]
[GASPING.]
[WAILING & SOBBING.]
Damn, damn, damn, James.
MAN: Cut.
That was from Good Times.
Where's my Willy, Carlton? I can't find my Willy.
[SOBBING.]
[WILL SCREAMING.]
CARLTON [SINGING.]
This little light of mine [SCREAMING.]
CARLTON: I'm gonna let it shine [SCREAMING.]
CHOIR: This little light of mine [SCREAMING.]
CHOIR: This little light of mine I'm gonna let it shine [SCREAMING.]
This little light of mine I'm gonna let it shine [SCREAMING.]
This little light of mine I'm gonna let it shine [SCREAMING.]
[ALFONSO SCREAMING.]
[ALFONSO LAUGHING & WILL SCREAMS.]
All right, here we are.
This is Makeup and Hair, right? This is where we get our, uh, um, makeup and our hair done.
This is Karyn and this is Tatyana.
They play Hilary and Ashley.
Say what's up, y'all.
- Hey.
- What's up? I'm just showing everybody around, you know.
Showing them how we get prepared for the show.
Oh, hey, here.
- Let me put some lipstick on you.
- No.
- I'm gonna put a little lip - No.
Will.
- People are looking.
Let me put lipstick - Will, stop it.
Come on.
Here, let me your hair.
Let me do your hair.
- No.
Why don't you go bug Ta? Go ahead.
TATYANA: Don't bug Ta.
- Let me put some lipstick on.
- Will, be careful with that, please.
- I just wanna put some lipstick on you.
- No, Will, that's a really bright color, okay? Think they tripping now you should see them when they be messing their lines up.
I'm Hilary Banks.
TV Weather Girl.
When I don't have my head in the clouds, I like to relax with a nice hot cup of [STAMMERS.]
Hot cup of Well, at first, I said Ah, shoot.
Damn it.
- And then what'd you say? - I forgot.
The next thing I said, when I don't have my Oh, shoot.
- The next thing I said - Hilary, how many takes did you do? Only 41.
You'd think that would tire me out.
But I'm more awake now than when we started.
WILL: What's wrong? I'm serious, Daddy.
I'm not gonna just sit here and watch you eat yourself into an early grave.
- Ha, ha.
So you're gonna throw a fork at me? - I tried to keep going.
Do you swear to tell the truth so help you God? Ha, ha, ha.
I'm sorry.
With an old raggedy halter top that say, "Yeah, boy.
" [LAUGHING.]
So sorry.
With an old raggedy halter top that say, "Heh!" [BOTH LAUGHING.]
The camera's on me.
I thought the camera was just on him.
I can't deal with this.
Just for no reason, you'll say, "Dum-dum-dee-day.
" [LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God.
Oh, God.
[KARYN SHRIEKS.]
Geoffrey, guess what.
- Will saw Heh, heh.
I'm sorry.
- Good job.
Thank you.
Good job.
Oh, yeah, see, she messed her line up, though.
Hey, Ta, listen, all right? - Now, I don't play that crap! TATYANA: No.
WILL: No, no! I don't play that! Listen.
- No! No! WILL: I'm not playing with you! - You had the same I have money invested in companies that I've never even - Heard of.
- Heard of.
Ha, ha.
Oh, I'm totally I'm so sorry.
No, no! Help me.
Oh, no.
This is not happening.
Ha, ha, ha.
What are you guys doing? You completely messed me up.
I looked over and you had this vacant look in your eyes.
I remember it.
I wanted to go home.
But don't blame me for you messing up.
- That was the fifth take.
- Me, messing up? - Excuse me.
- What? I'm just trying to figure out why I couldn't put some lipstick on somebody.
What is this thing about lipstick you got going on? All right.
We've known each other for six years.
- I should be able to put lipstick on you.
- You got a lipstick thing going on.
- You're disrespecting me.
- We have known each other for six years.
I think it's his turn for lipstick.
He's never gotten any.
Have a seat.
- Why y'all getting all strong? - His eyebrows need plucking.
- Oh, his eyebrows.
Yes.
- Don't be tweezing my eyebrows.
TATYANA: Right there.
- Get off me.
Get off No, get off me.
Get off me.
All right.
Now, that's enough.
Y'all play too daggone much.
They be playing too much.
Now, come on, let's go somewhere where we appreciated.
JOSEPH: All right, Rusty.
- Hey, Joe.
What's up, man? Hey, Will.
Nice shade.
Oh, no, no.
Karyn and Ta, they were just playing.
No.
Hey.
Oh, everybody.
Joe Marcell.
He plays Geoffrey the butler.
- Hello.
- Yeah.
I was just showing them clips of everybody messing their lines up.
But not you, man.
You are refined.
You British.
You special, man.
State of the art, boy.
- Thank you, Will.
- Oh, no.
I mean, I'm just saying when you step out on that stage, man, you just get out there and you hit it.
Blam! - Blam.
- That's right.
- Thank you, again, Will.
- Yeah, right.
When she's not looking, break one of her crystal fusiliers.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
I'm hawking candy bars.
They're only 5 bucks.
Marvelous.
Why is it marvelous? - Well, I'm off for the weekend.
- Where you going, Geoffrey? - Where am I going? WILL: You don't even know where you going.
I've not a clue.
And you are left alone standing in the dark.
[LAUGHS.]
They've started their women's weekend of nothing but facials, massages and [MUTTERING.]
I guess all that British stuff went right out the window, huh? Ha, ha.
I'm an actor, not a machine.
Yeah, whatever.
Just lose the phony accent.
Well Ooh! If I had a watch on, I'd know I was late.
I gotta go get my face right.
I gotta get my wardrobe and everything together.
For the past six years, we always come together right before the show.
So y'all stay tuned because it's showtime.
[SUGAR HILL GANG'S "JUMP ON IT" PLAYING ON SPEAKERS AND ALL CHEERING.]
Ho! Ho! Ho! How y'all feeling, fool? Hey, how y'all feeling? Tonto, jump on it, jump on it, jump on it Kemosabe, jump on it, jump on it, jump on it Custer, jump on it, jump on it, jump on it Apache, jump on it, jump on it, jump on it [ALL CHEERING.]
A- hunga-hunga-hunga-hunga I just have to say there's not another group of people I would rather be in this kind of circle with a hundred and forty-nine some-odd times.
JAMES: Hey.
ALL: Yeah.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
JAMES: Ditto.
WILL: Oh, ditto.
Even though James takes up most of the circle JAMES: As well I should.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
WILL: Oh, let's go out there and let's just have some fun.
Give me some! [ALL CHEERING.]
WILL: Have a good show.
ALFONSO: You ready, baby? You ready? - Yes.
ALFONSO: Are you ready? Come on, let's get this party, right? Ugh! I'm sorry, man.
You all? Are you all right? Okay.
You're gonna be all right? All right, come on, come on.
You can No.
WILL: Here we go.
ALFONSO: Come on, let's go.
Let's go! All right, guys, make some noise.
It's showtime, baby.
It's showtime.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING.]
Whoo! All right, all right, all right.
I'm coming.
I'm coming.
MAN: Here he is, Joseph Marcell.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING.]
MAN: How about a hand? Playing Ashley, Miss Tatyana M.
Ali.
Miss Tatyana M.
Ali.
[AUDIENCE CHEERING.]
Here she is.
There she is.
[CHEERING.]
MAN: Alfonso Ribeiro.
There he is.
Baby.
Miss Karyn Parsons.
Miss Karyn Parsons.
Hilary.
Miss Daphne Maxwell Reid.
Vivian.
James Avery.
Uncle Phil.
Yeah, lose your mind, guys.
Lose your mind.
Lose your mind.
Here we go, guys.
MTV Music Award, Grammy, Soul Train Music the movie Bad Boys and, of course, guys, catch him in Independence Day.
How about a hand? Mr.
Will "Will" Smith! [UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS AND AUDIENCE CHEERING.]
Mr.
Will Smith.
Get up, y'all.
Get up, y'all.
Get up! Get up! Get up! Let me hear you say "yeah.
" AUDIENCE: Yeah.
Now everybody scream.
[AUDIENCE SCREAMING.]
Oh, yeah.
Mix Master Mike, throw something on.
I want y'all to have fun.
I'm gonna get ready.
I'll see y'all in about two minutes.
Peace.
Yo, now, that was a funny show.
I enjoyed seeing them guys mess up.
And trust me, they mess up a lot.
But, Will, we didn't get to see your bloopers.
WILL: Uh Pssh.
- We out of time, though, man.
- Wait.
No, no, no.
Wait.
Will, we got lots of time.
Trust me.
Roll them.
Now I'm a happy chicken.
Will, where are you going? We haven't finished shooting the [UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYING ON SPEAKERS.]
[RAPPING.]
H- G, helium L- I, lithium Z- M Wrong line.
Hey, look.
Hey, look, man.
Check it out.
Check it out, man.
If anybody know my line just tell me what it is, right? Heh, heh, heh.
Is this where the party is? Granny, I really like you.
I mean, you and Grandpa Grand Um That dude that you married.
I mean, she's Ionely and something I don't remember my lines.
I was gonna babble through that joint now.
I just wanna say that I greatly admire your [WILL SNEEZES.]
Excuse you.
TATYANA: Oh, God.
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
[DICK LAUGHING.]
How'd you like the bloopers? [LAUGHING.]
Didn't really work for me, you know.
I didn't think it was too funny.
Don't you gotta go see Ed McMahon or something? No, no.
Look at this one.
I got a real beauty.
I'm sorry, Dick.
I'll see you later, all right? Thanks a lot.