Melrose Place s06e22 Episode Script
Blunt Drama
1 Christine: I can't do it, all right? Look, I'm out.
I quit.
That's all there is to it.
Now you listen to me, you two-bit little tramp.
Nobody is backing out now.
We are too close to winning.
Kyle is already fighting with Amanda.
She's already pulling the "I need space" routine.
All you need to do is strike the final blow.
And then, and only then, can you disappear.
Leaving the heartbroken Kyle to me.
God, I wish you'd found somebody else to do this.
I should have known the minute you called me again, it was to use me.
So I looked a little like her, I'd had a car accident, surgery scars.
You keep forgetting, you did this for the money, to get yourself out of debt.
But you leave now, you don't get a penny, I don't get my piece of the jazz club, and Taylor doesn't get her man back.
He loves Amanda too much.
That's what you never counted on.
Oh! You're wrong.
They're at their most vulnerable right now.
In fact, I just heard that Amanda came home early from her business trip because she probably heard about your and Kyle's big romantic farewell.
10 to one, this very second, they're fighting like dogs.
I'm going to make you a promise right now.
Okay.
That if anyone A Christine, a Taylor, whoever Tries to get between us, I'll stand up, and I'll fight.
Amanda, you don't You almost killed Eric Baines out of love for me, and I promise I'll do the same for you.
Just let anyone try to take you away from me, and I'll kill them.
I swear to God, I'll rip their heart out.
No.
It will never get that far.
Never again.
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's going on? What's going on here? What's it look like? I'm gonna go home.
Billy's going to be wondering.
He's going to be waiting.
Oh, my God.
I'm married.
My husband.
What, what am I gonna say? What do I say? Um, you know what? You just have to go and get on that plane and go back to spring training and forget that this ever, ever happened.
Look, Sam, if you think this was just a roll in the hay for me, then, uh That's over-describing it.
It, it was just, um, it was a mistake.
It was, um, bumping into someone.
Rubbing up against them.
Um I have to go.
So, it all seemed to go terrifically.
The shoot, I mean.
Yeah, yeah.
Should be a great commercial.
Right up there with those beer frogs.
Well, it seems weird to say good night after We should talk about this, the kiss.
Uh, look, I'm really sorry.
It's all my fault.
Uh, you're married.
And I just got caught up in this whole cotillion fantasy.
You know, it was just one of those weird, impulsive moments.
Well, now I have something to forget, too.
Goodnight.
Oh.
There you are.
I thought you would have been already asleep.
Oh, I think I am.
The walking dead, that's me.
Ah, no one ever told me that a mentor can be a slave-driver.
You know what Amanda did? She gave me six Count 'em, six layouts that had to be on her desk by tomorrow morning.
You haven't been waiting up, have you? No, I just got back from my commercial shoot.
Oh, how'd it go? Are you happy? Did you get everything that you wanted? Yeah, yeah.
That and more.
I wish you could've been there.
Yeah.
Me, too.
I, uh, missed you tonight.
Gosh, I'm sorry.
I'm beat.
I'm really exhausted.
I think I'm just gonna take a shower and turn in.
I'll take a rain check, though.
Oh Life can be so strange And oh If you think it's so mundane Go and do something To break it up Put the top down See the sky that you're under Breathe in the air Accelerate Turn the radio on Feel the warm winds Hi.
I hope it's not too early, but I really need a favor.
Just a simple yes or no and a promise.
Please, please promise that you won't ask any questions.
Based on that disclaimer, I'm already leaning toward no.
Oh, it's no big deal.
You just have to say that you made me work late last night.
I mean after Billy asks.
That, you know, you made me do a bunch of layouts, and I did a great job You're having an affair with Jeff Baylor, aren't you? God.
Are you kidding? No, no.
It's nothing like that.
It's just Okay, okay.
It almost did turn into something.
And in the end, it didn't.
And I don't want to hurt Billy needlessly.
Fine.
I'll cover for you.
But I won't say "great job," only "fair job.
" More believable that way.
Thank you, thank you.
A thousand times, thank you, thank you.
I had to see it with my own eyes.
You did it, didn't you? You slept with Jeff Baylor.
What, do I have some kind of sign on my back or something? No, it's your eyes.
Windows to the soul.
You know, I'm getting a little sick of your comments, Jennifer, not to mention your advice.
You're getting me into nothing but trouble.
Never my intention.
Yeah? Well, what is your intention? At this moment, to get the heck out of your way.
Wise choice.
Coop, we should try that new place, the Pacific Rim on Rexford.
Lexi, I can't have lunch with you.
I just needed an excuse to talk to you.
Oh.
What? Megan getting upset that I'm still at the apartment building? What? Moving in with you isn't good enough for her? Neither of those reasons.
There's something else.
Your parent company is in a lot more trouble than you think.
They're in total turmoil.
They're unable to find a successor.
These are things I know, Coop.
Hell, "The Wall Street Journal" knows.
I'm just saying, I think it would be a great opportunity for you.
That would entail moving back to Cleveland.
Coop, I've already turned that opportunity down.
You know what? I can't believe that Arkin said anything to you.
Wait a minute.
This is not coming from Arkin.
You are trying to get me out of your life.
You're always jumping to conclusions.
Yeah, only this time I'm right.
Huh? I bet Megan has something to do with this, as well, huh? What? Is she so afraid that she's already slapping down ultimatums? No, damn it.
Megan's not afraid.
I am.
Of what? Coop, what? Of falling in love with me again? You've got to be kidding me.
Yeah, well, temptation comes in all shapes and sizes.
Didn't your father teach you that? He sure taught me.
Hell, he still is.
Okay, let's go over this one more time.
Look, by now, I'm getting good at this.
Playing a woman on the edge is easy, since that's exactly what I am.
Oh.
Hello, Doctor.
I Christine.
I'm glad I caught you.
Well, as you can see, I was about ready to leave, so So was I, actually.
I was halfway on a plane, because I promised Kyle I would, to go back home and start my life again in New Mexico, but I I'm sorry.
Uh, you're on your way out.
I'll just talk to another doctor.
No, no.
Please, sit down.
Sounds important.
Thanks.
I'm waiting in the airport, and, um, I just started thinking about my little house back there.
You know, the empty rooms, the quiet desert, just the sounds of being alone, and I just panicked.
I'm so scared, you see, that I'm just gonna go back there and lose it.
Like, um, like I can't control myself.
Like there's just this, like this, there's just this voice inside my head that's just Christine? You don't have to go back there.
But I told Kyle that Well, that should be the least of your worries.
Yes, could you send a nurse in here, please? Yes, Doctor.
I want to put you under 24-hour observation.
You mean a suicide watch? What you told me Your symptoms That's not something we take lightly here.
You'll tell Kyle, though, that I'm still I want you to forget about Kyle.
Every time you're around him, it ends up in some crisis, doesn't it? Hey.
This isn't jail.
You're gonna be seen by the best psychiatrists in the world.
You won't be alone.
You wanted to see me, Dr.
Burns? Yes, will you take Ms.
Denton up to the fifth floor, please, the "B" wing? I'll call up with instructions later.
Thank you.
Hello? Hello? That's the third time somebody's called and hung up without saying anything.
I hate that.
I've got to do my laundry so I have something to wear tomorrow.
If the phone rings again, don't answer it.
Yeah? Jeff? It's me, it's Sam.
Is that you that's been calling and hanging up? Well, yeah, I wanted to talk to you.
I mean, you wouldn't take my calls at the office.
This is nuts.
You're supposed to be in Florida.
I can't ever see you again.
I thought I made it clear.
Look, we made love, okay? I mean, that wasn't some figment of your imagination or mine.
It was a mistake.
It was a huge mistake.
Goodbye, Jeff.
I'm sorry.
Help me.
Help, please.
What happened? Come on.
Come on.
Help.
Take it easy.
Lay here.
Okay.
All right.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Oh, Spider, you're shot pretty bad, man.
I got to get you to a hospital, okay? There's no time.
What? What do you mean? Take it! Take it! It's a bus locker.
Down downtown.
Spider.
In here! Hold it! Wait.
He's dead.
I can't do anything.
Did he say anything? No, nothing.
Not a word.
And finally, we have a problem.
Jeff Baylor is a holdout.
He missed two flights to Florida, the last being a charter.
The media is speculating a contract dispute.
So, of course, our client, Flash Sporting Goods, is in a panic.
Well, that's so typical of these overpaid sports stars.
What ever happened to playing for the love of the game? You know for the team, for the sport, for the fans? Thank you, Jerry Maguire.
And let's not forget, he lost his job taking a moral stand.
In the meantime, I want all work on the Flash campaign to stop.
We're already deep enough in the hole as it is.
Everyone can leave but Sam.
I have a sneaky suspicion that none of this comes as a surprise to you.
Is Jeff Baylor in love with you or something? Did you sleep with him? I'm absolutely positive that my personal relationship with him has nothing to do with his decision.
Well, that's too bad, because it can mean millions to this agency if we get him to spring training.
And a big, fat bonus to whoever makes it possible.
You're suggesting that I do something? Demanding it.
Starting right now, if you don't mind.
Oh.
How you doing, sis? Hey, nice 'do.
Michael, wait a second.
What are you doing? Where are you going? You'll do me a favor, right? Yeah.
I need you to keep this for me.
Indefinitely, if need be.
And you can't look inside under any circumstances.
No peeking.
Unless, maybe, unexpectedly, I die.
Then you can send it to Mom and Dad.
Michael, I don't like the sound of this.
You're in over your head, I can tell.
Hey, you're my sister.
We're Mancinis.
You know the mantra.
Tight as ticks, tough as nails.
And we always, always stick together.
Now I want you to swear that you will not look in that bag or tell a soul.
Swear! I swear.
Good.
I know where she is.
Your old flame Christine.
See, I was minding my own business Well, sort of.
And I was at the restaurant, and I was coming out of the little girls' room.
There was Peter on the phone talking to the hospital.
Well, it seems that Peter's got little miss pain-in-the-butt Christine stashed in a hospital room on round-the-clock suicide watch.
His hospital here in town? Yes, and he's keeping it a big secret, which makes perfect sense, if you think about it, because he just broke up with Lexi, and he wants to try to rebound back to his one great love, Amanda.
So what better way to break you and Amanda up? Keep Christine here in town.
I imagine you want to go see Christine right now.
No, I got a little stop to make first.
If you see Amanda Oh, mum's the word.
Thanks.
You've got Christine stashed in a hospital room somewhere! Are you nuts? No, but she is.
No, she's not suicidal.
Well, I disagree.
I had her in my office.
She's a textbook case.
Did you really want to be contacted? I mean, aren't you having enough trouble with Amanda as it is? Okay, that's what this is about, isn't it? Oh, please, don't start that crap again.
That I want Amanda and I'm plotting to take her away from you.
Okay, then, explain it to me.
If not that, then what? I decided that rather than turn Christine loose on you, I would have her locked up, put her in the hands of professionals, cure her of her tendencies.
I know.
A very selfless act from a very selfish man.
You can thank me for that later.
And if you're thinking about visiting her, I'm recommending against it.
Well, I got to do something.
You bet your ass, you do! Marry Amanda.
I wouldn't waste another second.
There's no choice here, Kyle.
Marry her as fast as you can.
Hey there.
No Coopster tonight? Oh, uh, we're having dinner, but he had a meeting with Lexi, so, uh, he should be here by now.
Well, I wouldn't worry about that.
I mean, those two They hate each other.
You know, I used to think the same thing, but there's something between them.
It's like they've got this whole common ground going.
Oh, yeah, they sure do.
Big bucks.
Big bucks.
You know Lexi's family is loaded, right? And yeah, Coop He married her for the money.
I mean, no offense, kid, but you're not exactly a Rockefeller.
You know, that's just like you to think that money controls everything and everyone.
Well, why don't you take it from me? It does.
I mean, it may not buy happiness, but it sure as hell buys security.
Take this guy.
I met him down in the new neighborhood.
Uh, he's an honest guy.
You know, doesn't have a cent to his name.
He's minding his own business, when along comes this huge opportunity.
A whole lot of money literally dropped right into his lap.
But the money It's illegal, right? So the guy doesn't know what to do.
Take it to the police, Michael.
It shouldn't even be a question.
Look, you know, this is getting scary.
I think you're taking this gangster thing a little too far.
Gangster thing? I am not a gangster.
Oh, yeah, sure, but of course, I'm Italian, so I must be, right? You know, I really resent that kind of stereotyping.
You know what? It's just an observation, okay? But leave it to you to turn it into some kind of argument.
Oh, thank God.
Coop's here.
Look, uh, I'll talk to you later, Michael.
If this holdout has anything to do with me, you better stop it and stop it now.
The agency sent you.
Amanda, I bet, huh? Do whatever it takes to get me to spring training, right? I already heard that Flash Shoes is pissed and may dump me, so Yeah.
And it's gonna cost the agency and you millions of dollars.
Well, then you shouldn't be shocked that I don't care about that, okay? Look at me.
My mind and and everything in it is about us and about you.
Look, I know you feel the same damn way, or you wouldn't have come here.
Stop pretending like you even know how I feel, because you don't.
You don't even have a clue! Well, then tell me! Okay? Enlighten me.
Okay, this whole thing This was just a fantasy.
It's something that I got wrapped up in.
I was blinded.
I never, ever considered leaving my husband for you.
So what are you telling me? That everything that went on between us, you were just faking, huh? You can't fake what we shared.
Come on! No, I can't, but I can put it behind me.
My life is ruined.
Don't you understand that? Hey, no more than mine.
You want me to say I love you? You don't have to.
You know why? Because I already know you do.
Wait.
Look, Sam, I will go to Florida.
All right? I mean, I will pack my bags, and I will leave right now if that's what you want me to do.
Yes, that is what I really want.
All right.
Just so you know, you just broke my heart.
Where's Samantha? I don't know.
These days, I never know.
I guess I should care a little bit more, shouldn't I? I should be calling all over the place, pacing up and down like a madman.
I just, I don't really feel anything.
You know, that's a terrible thing to say about your wife.
The woman I love, the woman I just married.
What's wrong with me? It's not you.
You didn't do anything.
Yeah, well, at first I thought it was just because we were spending too much time together.
You know, we're living together and working together.
But then I realized there's something more to it.
You know, there's something really wrong with us.
We just don't, like, we don't feel comfortable around each other.
I know I probably shouldn't say this, and please don't take it the wrong way, but these days, the only time I really feel comfortable is when I'm around you.
I'm sorry that, uh, that we kissed the other night.
Oh, Billy, it's okay.
Really.
No, it never should have happened.
I may be having problems with Sam, but that doesn't give me the right to cheat on her.
So I'm sorry if I led you on in any way.
I didn't mean to do that.
Goodnight.
Kyle, it's eight o'clock in the morning.
Yeah, well, you know breakfast can be romantic, too.
We have frittatas, mimosas.
So you just sit back, indulge yourself.
And pretend like you are on your honeymoon.
Well, wouldn't we have to be married for that? I knew I forgot something.
Would you marry me, Amanda? You already asked.
I said yes.
Right.
Well, see, what I meant to say is marry me tomorrow.
It's all arranged.
Seven p.
m.
, the Canyon Chapel.
I mean, every time we drive by it, you say, "I love that place.
" Nothing could keep me away.
But it doesn't have to be tomorrow, either.
It could be in a week, two weeks.
No, no.
It has to be now.
The time is now.
Ah.
Why? You afraid something might come along and change our minds? Uh, and what could that be? I mean, what's left? It's the unknown that makes me nervous.
See, I got nothing up my sleeves.
See? Zero.
Mm-hmm? So, are we a go? Sure.
We're a go.
Oh, I think you have just made me the happiest man on earth.
I love you.
Okay, yes.
I slept with Jeff Baylor, just like you said I should.
Hold it right there, missy.
I didn't tell you to do anything.
Then what was that whole metaphor about the old car, new car thing, and that you can't appreciate the old car until you've sampled the new one? I was very influenced by that little speech.
Ah! I was so influenced that I test-drove Baylor.
And it was a terrific ride.
So, what? Are you thinking of trading in Billy? No! No! In retrospect, that was the dumbest thing I have ever done.
One night of fun for a lifetime of guilt? And, uh, what about Jeff? How's he dealing with it? Uh, I told him that it was over.
And with any luck, he's in Florida at batting practice.
So what do you do now? I'm gonna get past it.
I am going to devote the rest of my life to making Billy happy.
You know, what happened with Jeff, that was just panicking about getting married too soon.
The truth is, I love Billy.
I really love him.
I mean, that's why you marry someone, right? You're gonna find somebody.
That guy is going to come along.
You just can't plan these things.
Exactly.
Thank you for listening to me.
I don't know what I would do without you.
Hey.
I have got a big, giant favor to ask you.
Can you watch the club for me next week? Sure.
But you got to tell me, is it a secret where you're going, or can I tell Amanda when she asks me why I'm in charge? Amanda is going to be with me, on our honeymoon.
You see, we're getting married tomorrow night at the Canyon Chapel, and then we are going to spend our first night together at the Ocean Crest Hotel, before honeymooning at I don't know.
Well, we're not sure.
Hawaii, maybe.
Fiji.
Well, the Bermuda Triangle is supposed to be nice this time of year.
Boy, I just, you know, I thought, with you all your problems I mean, with Christine and everything That you wouldn't be rushing to the altar so quickly.
Look, Peter can take care of Christine better than I or anybody else can.
You know what? I'm moving on with my life.
That is, right after you wish me good luck.
Hey.
Good luck.
That was very good, very good.
Almost sounded sincere.
Almost.
Close.
Darling, I'm home.
Right on time.
Sort of.
So, where is it? Where is this big surprise you, uh, promised me? Hi.
Before you ask, yes, I stopped and had a few drinks on my way home.
But I took a cab.
My car's still down at the bar.
Guess what I heard today.
The first day of spring training, you know Jeff Baylor, our comeback bozo of the year? He blew out his knee.
It's like, uh, torn ligaments or something.
He's out for the season.
It could be his career.
It's tragic.
I mean, needless to say, Flash is deep-sixing the campaign.
I mean, I heard they already got some, you know, some lady tennis player taking his place.
Did I or did I not tell you that Jeff Baylor was bad news, huh? After all the hype, and the thousands of dollars that we spent on him, it's all down the toilet.
All he's gonna get from Flash Sporting Goods is a nice little get-well basket.
So now that that's over, quit stalling.
Come on.
I want my surprise.
Is it under there? You're drunk.
So what? So, sometimes I think you don't have any heart at all.
I'm sorry.
I just don't want to be around you right now.
Well, long live Jeff Baylor.
Oh, it's you.
Kyle and Amanda are getting married tomorrow.
This is our last chance to stop them.
Okay, what I want you to do is write Kyle a letter professing your undying love, and emphasis on "dying.
" What difference will that make? Kyle knows I'm here, still suicidal, and he won't even visit.
I'm so sick of you, you stupid little twit.
And if you don't help me out here, I'm gonna re-break every bone in this reconstructed face of yours.
Now, start writing! "Dear Kyle, when we made love the other night," you awakened feelings in me "that I thought had long since died.
" But none of that happened.
We didn't make love, and Kyle will know that.
Dummy, Kyle isn't going to see the letter.
Amanda is going to read it.
She's gonna call off the wedding because of it.
Now, start writing.
Good morning.
How are you? Just thought you'd like to know that this came to the restaurant last night, and it was addressed to Kyle.
You just missed him.
I know.
I waited until he was gone before coming up.
It's from Christine, and as you know, I once intercepted a letter from this woman intended for Kyle, and it was the best thing that I ever did.
You've got to squash those bugs before they get too big, if you know what I mean.
We don't operate on the same level, Taylor.
Yeah, well, maybe this time, Miss High and Mighty, you ought to think about lowering your standards a notch or two.
I mean, after all, you are tying the knot this evening, right? It would be a shame to let anything jeopardize that.
Anyway, it's your choice.
But if you look, that seal isn't a very good one, and you could just You know, Kyle and I are on the same page here.
I don't think he'd mind if I read it first.
Oh, yikes.
Looks like bad news.
Well, I gotta go.
Good luck with whatever.
What did you do, rob a bank? Jennifer showed it to you, didn't she? Ah, couldn't keep a secret.
I'll deal with her later.
Listen, um, I can explain everything, okay? I did not steal this money.
It just, well, it sort of found its way to me through this guy, this, um, guy in the neighborhood.
Spider, actually.
And, uh, you see, he was shot up by the cops, and, uh, well he died as a result, God rest his soul.
I'm going to the cops.
No, no, no, no, no.
What good would that do, Megan? What would the cops do with it? They'll ship it off to that place where they burn criminals' loot.
But I, I can do something good with this money.
What? Add a second story to the house? No, I just thought maybe I'd, uh, fix up the clinic.
Maybe, um, you know, get me out of debt.
Um but, you know, this money, this money can make a big difference down there.
Come on.
That makes sense, doesn't it? Yes.
It does.
You are going to use this money for good.
Except not exactly how you had planned.
Look, go get your coat.
We're going to go for a ride.
Move it! Call your security.
Call the police.
I really don't give a damn.
I'm telling you, you're going to blow this.
Really nice try, Christine, but it didn't work.
You didn't want Kyle to see the letter.
You wanted me to see the letter.
This is just your pathetic way of trying to stop my wedding again.
I didn't know.
You're getting married? Oh, for God's sake.
Stop it.
You knew, and you sent the letter.
Well, I am here to tell you face-to-face that it's not going to work.
You didn't sleep with Kyle, and I don't have to ask him, and I won't.
I won't do anything to jeopardize our wedding.
So we're going to go ahead with it, and to hell with you and your suicide crap.
Besides, I don't think you have the guts to kill yourself.
I love him.
You know what? As far as Kyle's concerned, you're dead.
He's mine.
You show up in our lives again, I swear to God, I'll kill you.
Sam, you home? Hi.
You must think I'm the biggest weirdo ever.
No, I, I think it's cool.
Yeah, I love it.
Yeah, I can't get this dancing out of my head, either.
Do you mind if I cut in on your broom? You better hurry up.
The song's almost over.
I'm still not very good.
Come on.
Just feel the music.
Ooh.
Damn it, Billy.
I can't.
I can't do this to Sam.
You know, she's, she could have been with Jeff Baylor, over and over, and she hasn't cheated.
And I just, I can't do it to her.
It's not it's wrong.
But if J You're right.
Sam's my friend.
I think you should go.
Yeah.
Hi.
Thought I'd bring this by personally.
Standard card attached.
"Get well soon, from all of us at the Amanda Woodward Agency.
" Oh, how thoughtful.
"In lieu of a contract, we send cheese in a pretty basket.
" Oh, Flash Sporting Goods dropped me.
Of course, you probably already know that.
Does it hurt? Ah, what's a couple of million bucks? Oh, you mean the knee? No.
Nah, they've got it all shot up with stuff.
It's fine.
It's pretty cool of me, don't you think? I mean, I been back a whole day.
Haven't called you.
I wanted to.
Almost did a couple of times, but I knew how you felt, so Only, you don't know.
You have no idea.
You see, I went back, and I gave it the old college try, Jeff.
I mean, I really, really wanted it to work with Billy.
And it was like he planned it or something.
He started going on with this petty stuff about you and what happened and, and I realized that the only person that I'm not being fair to is you.
You, who I can't get out of my thoughts, who I need badly right now.
May I help you? Yes.
Um, we'd like to make a donation for your war on drugs and crime in the neighborhood.
I'll make the assumption this bag, it's filled with money? That's right, and I wouldn't ask where it came from.
We're trusting you to do the right thing with it.
Well, any money that comes through those doors is used for God's work.
Oh, that's great.
But in the meantime, I'd open an interest-bearing checking account.
Michael.
Well, good night, Father.
We don't want to wear out our welcome and Thank you.
Neither one of us has time for confession.
What is that? Whoa.
Whoa.
Where did that come from? Michael.
Father, here you go.
A few more dollars.
How do you feel? Ever seen a grown man cry? You're about to.
Come on.
Hurry up, doll.
Put it on.
I don't understand.
Where are we going? We are going to the Canyon Chapel, because Kyle and Amanda are going forward with the wedding.
This is crazy.
There is nothing left I can do.
Yes, you can object stridently.
You can throw yourself down the aisle, professing your undying love for Kyle.
At which point, Amanda will go absolutely insane.
Yeah, and probably try to kill me.
Well, we can only hope.
Yeah.
That's what she promised, right? Kyle will have to step in.
It'll be a big mess.
Causing you to fake the biggest, gnarliest nervous breakdown anyone has ever seen.
Kyle will get sympathetic, Amanda will call it the last straw, and part two of wedding interruptus will be successful.
Hey.
It's clear.
Let's go.
Okay, you two go together.
I'll take my own car.
All right, go.
What are you doing? I'm going to that chapel and telling Kyle the truth, that this was your crazy plan, that the real Christine is dead, and that I was used by you and Nick.
You can't say anything, or we'll all go to jail! I do.
And do you, Amanda, take this man to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live? I do.
Therefore, before God and this church, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Get back in the car now! Oh, my God.
She's dead.
Well, congratulations.
Come on.
Let's go.
Come on.
I want to wish you every happiness Come on! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Have fun on your honeymoon.
Thank you.
You didn't have to do that.
Well, I thought that we should at least have some of the frills, Mrs.
McBride.
Mrs.
McBride.
I like the sound of that.
So do I.
Thank you very much.
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
Let's do it, hon.
Okay, Bright Eyes, what do we do now?
I quit.
That's all there is to it.
Now you listen to me, you two-bit little tramp.
Nobody is backing out now.
We are too close to winning.
Kyle is already fighting with Amanda.
She's already pulling the "I need space" routine.
All you need to do is strike the final blow.
And then, and only then, can you disappear.
Leaving the heartbroken Kyle to me.
God, I wish you'd found somebody else to do this.
I should have known the minute you called me again, it was to use me.
So I looked a little like her, I'd had a car accident, surgery scars.
You keep forgetting, you did this for the money, to get yourself out of debt.
But you leave now, you don't get a penny, I don't get my piece of the jazz club, and Taylor doesn't get her man back.
He loves Amanda too much.
That's what you never counted on.
Oh! You're wrong.
They're at their most vulnerable right now.
In fact, I just heard that Amanda came home early from her business trip because she probably heard about your and Kyle's big romantic farewell.
10 to one, this very second, they're fighting like dogs.
I'm going to make you a promise right now.
Okay.
That if anyone A Christine, a Taylor, whoever Tries to get between us, I'll stand up, and I'll fight.
Amanda, you don't You almost killed Eric Baines out of love for me, and I promise I'll do the same for you.
Just let anyone try to take you away from me, and I'll kill them.
I swear to God, I'll rip their heart out.
No.
It will never get that far.
Never again.
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's going on? What's going on here? What's it look like? I'm gonna go home.
Billy's going to be wondering.
He's going to be waiting.
Oh, my God.
I'm married.
My husband.
What, what am I gonna say? What do I say? Um, you know what? You just have to go and get on that plane and go back to spring training and forget that this ever, ever happened.
Look, Sam, if you think this was just a roll in the hay for me, then, uh That's over-describing it.
It, it was just, um, it was a mistake.
It was, um, bumping into someone.
Rubbing up against them.
Um I have to go.
So, it all seemed to go terrifically.
The shoot, I mean.
Yeah, yeah.
Should be a great commercial.
Right up there with those beer frogs.
Well, it seems weird to say good night after We should talk about this, the kiss.
Uh, look, I'm really sorry.
It's all my fault.
Uh, you're married.
And I just got caught up in this whole cotillion fantasy.
You know, it was just one of those weird, impulsive moments.
Well, now I have something to forget, too.
Goodnight.
Oh.
There you are.
I thought you would have been already asleep.
Oh, I think I am.
The walking dead, that's me.
Ah, no one ever told me that a mentor can be a slave-driver.
You know what Amanda did? She gave me six Count 'em, six layouts that had to be on her desk by tomorrow morning.
You haven't been waiting up, have you? No, I just got back from my commercial shoot.
Oh, how'd it go? Are you happy? Did you get everything that you wanted? Yeah, yeah.
That and more.
I wish you could've been there.
Yeah.
Me, too.
I, uh, missed you tonight.
Gosh, I'm sorry.
I'm beat.
I'm really exhausted.
I think I'm just gonna take a shower and turn in.
I'll take a rain check, though.
Oh Life can be so strange And oh If you think it's so mundane Go and do something To break it up Put the top down See the sky that you're under Breathe in the air Accelerate Turn the radio on Feel the warm winds Hi.
I hope it's not too early, but I really need a favor.
Just a simple yes or no and a promise.
Please, please promise that you won't ask any questions.
Based on that disclaimer, I'm already leaning toward no.
Oh, it's no big deal.
You just have to say that you made me work late last night.
I mean after Billy asks.
That, you know, you made me do a bunch of layouts, and I did a great job You're having an affair with Jeff Baylor, aren't you? God.
Are you kidding? No, no.
It's nothing like that.
It's just Okay, okay.
It almost did turn into something.
And in the end, it didn't.
And I don't want to hurt Billy needlessly.
Fine.
I'll cover for you.
But I won't say "great job," only "fair job.
" More believable that way.
Thank you, thank you.
A thousand times, thank you, thank you.
I had to see it with my own eyes.
You did it, didn't you? You slept with Jeff Baylor.
What, do I have some kind of sign on my back or something? No, it's your eyes.
Windows to the soul.
You know, I'm getting a little sick of your comments, Jennifer, not to mention your advice.
You're getting me into nothing but trouble.
Never my intention.
Yeah? Well, what is your intention? At this moment, to get the heck out of your way.
Wise choice.
Coop, we should try that new place, the Pacific Rim on Rexford.
Lexi, I can't have lunch with you.
I just needed an excuse to talk to you.
Oh.
What? Megan getting upset that I'm still at the apartment building? What? Moving in with you isn't good enough for her? Neither of those reasons.
There's something else.
Your parent company is in a lot more trouble than you think.
They're in total turmoil.
They're unable to find a successor.
These are things I know, Coop.
Hell, "The Wall Street Journal" knows.
I'm just saying, I think it would be a great opportunity for you.
That would entail moving back to Cleveland.
Coop, I've already turned that opportunity down.
You know what? I can't believe that Arkin said anything to you.
Wait a minute.
This is not coming from Arkin.
You are trying to get me out of your life.
You're always jumping to conclusions.
Yeah, only this time I'm right.
Huh? I bet Megan has something to do with this, as well, huh? What? Is she so afraid that she's already slapping down ultimatums? No, damn it.
Megan's not afraid.
I am.
Of what? Coop, what? Of falling in love with me again? You've got to be kidding me.
Yeah, well, temptation comes in all shapes and sizes.
Didn't your father teach you that? He sure taught me.
Hell, he still is.
Okay, let's go over this one more time.
Look, by now, I'm getting good at this.
Playing a woman on the edge is easy, since that's exactly what I am.
Oh.
Hello, Doctor.
I Christine.
I'm glad I caught you.
Well, as you can see, I was about ready to leave, so So was I, actually.
I was halfway on a plane, because I promised Kyle I would, to go back home and start my life again in New Mexico, but I I'm sorry.
Uh, you're on your way out.
I'll just talk to another doctor.
No, no.
Please, sit down.
Sounds important.
Thanks.
I'm waiting in the airport, and, um, I just started thinking about my little house back there.
You know, the empty rooms, the quiet desert, just the sounds of being alone, and I just panicked.
I'm so scared, you see, that I'm just gonna go back there and lose it.
Like, um, like I can't control myself.
Like there's just this, like this, there's just this voice inside my head that's just Christine? You don't have to go back there.
But I told Kyle that Well, that should be the least of your worries.
Yes, could you send a nurse in here, please? Yes, Doctor.
I want to put you under 24-hour observation.
You mean a suicide watch? What you told me Your symptoms That's not something we take lightly here.
You'll tell Kyle, though, that I'm still I want you to forget about Kyle.
Every time you're around him, it ends up in some crisis, doesn't it? Hey.
This isn't jail.
You're gonna be seen by the best psychiatrists in the world.
You won't be alone.
You wanted to see me, Dr.
Burns? Yes, will you take Ms.
Denton up to the fifth floor, please, the "B" wing? I'll call up with instructions later.
Thank you.
Hello? Hello? That's the third time somebody's called and hung up without saying anything.
I hate that.
I've got to do my laundry so I have something to wear tomorrow.
If the phone rings again, don't answer it.
Yeah? Jeff? It's me, it's Sam.
Is that you that's been calling and hanging up? Well, yeah, I wanted to talk to you.
I mean, you wouldn't take my calls at the office.
This is nuts.
You're supposed to be in Florida.
I can't ever see you again.
I thought I made it clear.
Look, we made love, okay? I mean, that wasn't some figment of your imagination or mine.
It was a mistake.
It was a huge mistake.
Goodbye, Jeff.
I'm sorry.
Help me.
Help, please.
What happened? Come on.
Come on.
Help.
Take it easy.
Lay here.
Okay.
All right.
Let me see.
Let me see.
Oh, Spider, you're shot pretty bad, man.
I got to get you to a hospital, okay? There's no time.
What? What do you mean? Take it! Take it! It's a bus locker.
Down downtown.
Spider.
In here! Hold it! Wait.
He's dead.
I can't do anything.
Did he say anything? No, nothing.
Not a word.
And finally, we have a problem.
Jeff Baylor is a holdout.
He missed two flights to Florida, the last being a charter.
The media is speculating a contract dispute.
So, of course, our client, Flash Sporting Goods, is in a panic.
Well, that's so typical of these overpaid sports stars.
What ever happened to playing for the love of the game? You know for the team, for the sport, for the fans? Thank you, Jerry Maguire.
And let's not forget, he lost his job taking a moral stand.
In the meantime, I want all work on the Flash campaign to stop.
We're already deep enough in the hole as it is.
Everyone can leave but Sam.
I have a sneaky suspicion that none of this comes as a surprise to you.
Is Jeff Baylor in love with you or something? Did you sleep with him? I'm absolutely positive that my personal relationship with him has nothing to do with his decision.
Well, that's too bad, because it can mean millions to this agency if we get him to spring training.
And a big, fat bonus to whoever makes it possible.
You're suggesting that I do something? Demanding it.
Starting right now, if you don't mind.
Oh.
How you doing, sis? Hey, nice 'do.
Michael, wait a second.
What are you doing? Where are you going? You'll do me a favor, right? Yeah.
I need you to keep this for me.
Indefinitely, if need be.
And you can't look inside under any circumstances.
No peeking.
Unless, maybe, unexpectedly, I die.
Then you can send it to Mom and Dad.
Michael, I don't like the sound of this.
You're in over your head, I can tell.
Hey, you're my sister.
We're Mancinis.
You know the mantra.
Tight as ticks, tough as nails.
And we always, always stick together.
Now I want you to swear that you will not look in that bag or tell a soul.
Swear! I swear.
Good.
I know where she is.
Your old flame Christine.
See, I was minding my own business Well, sort of.
And I was at the restaurant, and I was coming out of the little girls' room.
There was Peter on the phone talking to the hospital.
Well, it seems that Peter's got little miss pain-in-the-butt Christine stashed in a hospital room on round-the-clock suicide watch.
His hospital here in town? Yes, and he's keeping it a big secret, which makes perfect sense, if you think about it, because he just broke up with Lexi, and he wants to try to rebound back to his one great love, Amanda.
So what better way to break you and Amanda up? Keep Christine here in town.
I imagine you want to go see Christine right now.
No, I got a little stop to make first.
If you see Amanda Oh, mum's the word.
Thanks.
You've got Christine stashed in a hospital room somewhere! Are you nuts? No, but she is.
No, she's not suicidal.
Well, I disagree.
I had her in my office.
She's a textbook case.
Did you really want to be contacted? I mean, aren't you having enough trouble with Amanda as it is? Okay, that's what this is about, isn't it? Oh, please, don't start that crap again.
That I want Amanda and I'm plotting to take her away from you.
Okay, then, explain it to me.
If not that, then what? I decided that rather than turn Christine loose on you, I would have her locked up, put her in the hands of professionals, cure her of her tendencies.
I know.
A very selfless act from a very selfish man.
You can thank me for that later.
And if you're thinking about visiting her, I'm recommending against it.
Well, I got to do something.
You bet your ass, you do! Marry Amanda.
I wouldn't waste another second.
There's no choice here, Kyle.
Marry her as fast as you can.
Hey there.
No Coopster tonight? Oh, uh, we're having dinner, but he had a meeting with Lexi, so, uh, he should be here by now.
Well, I wouldn't worry about that.
I mean, those two They hate each other.
You know, I used to think the same thing, but there's something between them.
It's like they've got this whole common ground going.
Oh, yeah, they sure do.
Big bucks.
Big bucks.
You know Lexi's family is loaded, right? And yeah, Coop He married her for the money.
I mean, no offense, kid, but you're not exactly a Rockefeller.
You know, that's just like you to think that money controls everything and everyone.
Well, why don't you take it from me? It does.
I mean, it may not buy happiness, but it sure as hell buys security.
Take this guy.
I met him down in the new neighborhood.
Uh, he's an honest guy.
You know, doesn't have a cent to his name.
He's minding his own business, when along comes this huge opportunity.
A whole lot of money literally dropped right into his lap.
But the money It's illegal, right? So the guy doesn't know what to do.
Take it to the police, Michael.
It shouldn't even be a question.
Look, you know, this is getting scary.
I think you're taking this gangster thing a little too far.
Gangster thing? I am not a gangster.
Oh, yeah, sure, but of course, I'm Italian, so I must be, right? You know, I really resent that kind of stereotyping.
You know what? It's just an observation, okay? But leave it to you to turn it into some kind of argument.
Oh, thank God.
Coop's here.
Look, uh, I'll talk to you later, Michael.
If this holdout has anything to do with me, you better stop it and stop it now.
The agency sent you.
Amanda, I bet, huh? Do whatever it takes to get me to spring training, right? I already heard that Flash Shoes is pissed and may dump me, so Yeah.
And it's gonna cost the agency and you millions of dollars.
Well, then you shouldn't be shocked that I don't care about that, okay? Look at me.
My mind and and everything in it is about us and about you.
Look, I know you feel the same damn way, or you wouldn't have come here.
Stop pretending like you even know how I feel, because you don't.
You don't even have a clue! Well, then tell me! Okay? Enlighten me.
Okay, this whole thing This was just a fantasy.
It's something that I got wrapped up in.
I was blinded.
I never, ever considered leaving my husband for you.
So what are you telling me? That everything that went on between us, you were just faking, huh? You can't fake what we shared.
Come on! No, I can't, but I can put it behind me.
My life is ruined.
Don't you understand that? Hey, no more than mine.
You want me to say I love you? You don't have to.
You know why? Because I already know you do.
Wait.
Look, Sam, I will go to Florida.
All right? I mean, I will pack my bags, and I will leave right now if that's what you want me to do.
Yes, that is what I really want.
All right.
Just so you know, you just broke my heart.
Where's Samantha? I don't know.
These days, I never know.
I guess I should care a little bit more, shouldn't I? I should be calling all over the place, pacing up and down like a madman.
I just, I don't really feel anything.
You know, that's a terrible thing to say about your wife.
The woman I love, the woman I just married.
What's wrong with me? It's not you.
You didn't do anything.
Yeah, well, at first I thought it was just because we were spending too much time together.
You know, we're living together and working together.
But then I realized there's something more to it.
You know, there's something really wrong with us.
We just don't, like, we don't feel comfortable around each other.
I know I probably shouldn't say this, and please don't take it the wrong way, but these days, the only time I really feel comfortable is when I'm around you.
I'm sorry that, uh, that we kissed the other night.
Oh, Billy, it's okay.
Really.
No, it never should have happened.
I may be having problems with Sam, but that doesn't give me the right to cheat on her.
So I'm sorry if I led you on in any way.
I didn't mean to do that.
Goodnight.
Kyle, it's eight o'clock in the morning.
Yeah, well, you know breakfast can be romantic, too.
We have frittatas, mimosas.
So you just sit back, indulge yourself.
And pretend like you are on your honeymoon.
Well, wouldn't we have to be married for that? I knew I forgot something.
Would you marry me, Amanda? You already asked.
I said yes.
Right.
Well, see, what I meant to say is marry me tomorrow.
It's all arranged.
Seven p.
m.
, the Canyon Chapel.
I mean, every time we drive by it, you say, "I love that place.
" Nothing could keep me away.
But it doesn't have to be tomorrow, either.
It could be in a week, two weeks.
No, no.
It has to be now.
The time is now.
Ah.
Why? You afraid something might come along and change our minds? Uh, and what could that be? I mean, what's left? It's the unknown that makes me nervous.
See, I got nothing up my sleeves.
See? Zero.
Mm-hmm? So, are we a go? Sure.
We're a go.
Oh, I think you have just made me the happiest man on earth.
I love you.
Okay, yes.
I slept with Jeff Baylor, just like you said I should.
Hold it right there, missy.
I didn't tell you to do anything.
Then what was that whole metaphor about the old car, new car thing, and that you can't appreciate the old car until you've sampled the new one? I was very influenced by that little speech.
Ah! I was so influenced that I test-drove Baylor.
And it was a terrific ride.
So, what? Are you thinking of trading in Billy? No! No! In retrospect, that was the dumbest thing I have ever done.
One night of fun for a lifetime of guilt? And, uh, what about Jeff? How's he dealing with it? Uh, I told him that it was over.
And with any luck, he's in Florida at batting practice.
So what do you do now? I'm gonna get past it.
I am going to devote the rest of my life to making Billy happy.
You know, what happened with Jeff, that was just panicking about getting married too soon.
The truth is, I love Billy.
I really love him.
I mean, that's why you marry someone, right? You're gonna find somebody.
That guy is going to come along.
You just can't plan these things.
Exactly.
Thank you for listening to me.
I don't know what I would do without you.
Hey.
I have got a big, giant favor to ask you.
Can you watch the club for me next week? Sure.
But you got to tell me, is it a secret where you're going, or can I tell Amanda when she asks me why I'm in charge? Amanda is going to be with me, on our honeymoon.
You see, we're getting married tomorrow night at the Canyon Chapel, and then we are going to spend our first night together at the Ocean Crest Hotel, before honeymooning at I don't know.
Well, we're not sure.
Hawaii, maybe.
Fiji.
Well, the Bermuda Triangle is supposed to be nice this time of year.
Boy, I just, you know, I thought, with you all your problems I mean, with Christine and everything That you wouldn't be rushing to the altar so quickly.
Look, Peter can take care of Christine better than I or anybody else can.
You know what? I'm moving on with my life.
That is, right after you wish me good luck.
Hey.
Good luck.
That was very good, very good.
Almost sounded sincere.
Almost.
Close.
Darling, I'm home.
Right on time.
Sort of.
So, where is it? Where is this big surprise you, uh, promised me? Hi.
Before you ask, yes, I stopped and had a few drinks on my way home.
But I took a cab.
My car's still down at the bar.
Guess what I heard today.
The first day of spring training, you know Jeff Baylor, our comeback bozo of the year? He blew out his knee.
It's like, uh, torn ligaments or something.
He's out for the season.
It could be his career.
It's tragic.
I mean, needless to say, Flash is deep-sixing the campaign.
I mean, I heard they already got some, you know, some lady tennis player taking his place.
Did I or did I not tell you that Jeff Baylor was bad news, huh? After all the hype, and the thousands of dollars that we spent on him, it's all down the toilet.
All he's gonna get from Flash Sporting Goods is a nice little get-well basket.
So now that that's over, quit stalling.
Come on.
I want my surprise.
Is it under there? You're drunk.
So what? So, sometimes I think you don't have any heart at all.
I'm sorry.
I just don't want to be around you right now.
Well, long live Jeff Baylor.
Oh, it's you.
Kyle and Amanda are getting married tomorrow.
This is our last chance to stop them.
Okay, what I want you to do is write Kyle a letter professing your undying love, and emphasis on "dying.
" What difference will that make? Kyle knows I'm here, still suicidal, and he won't even visit.
I'm so sick of you, you stupid little twit.
And if you don't help me out here, I'm gonna re-break every bone in this reconstructed face of yours.
Now, start writing! "Dear Kyle, when we made love the other night," you awakened feelings in me "that I thought had long since died.
" But none of that happened.
We didn't make love, and Kyle will know that.
Dummy, Kyle isn't going to see the letter.
Amanda is going to read it.
She's gonna call off the wedding because of it.
Now, start writing.
Good morning.
How are you? Just thought you'd like to know that this came to the restaurant last night, and it was addressed to Kyle.
You just missed him.
I know.
I waited until he was gone before coming up.
It's from Christine, and as you know, I once intercepted a letter from this woman intended for Kyle, and it was the best thing that I ever did.
You've got to squash those bugs before they get too big, if you know what I mean.
We don't operate on the same level, Taylor.
Yeah, well, maybe this time, Miss High and Mighty, you ought to think about lowering your standards a notch or two.
I mean, after all, you are tying the knot this evening, right? It would be a shame to let anything jeopardize that.
Anyway, it's your choice.
But if you look, that seal isn't a very good one, and you could just You know, Kyle and I are on the same page here.
I don't think he'd mind if I read it first.
Oh, yikes.
Looks like bad news.
Well, I gotta go.
Good luck with whatever.
What did you do, rob a bank? Jennifer showed it to you, didn't she? Ah, couldn't keep a secret.
I'll deal with her later.
Listen, um, I can explain everything, okay? I did not steal this money.
It just, well, it sort of found its way to me through this guy, this, um, guy in the neighborhood.
Spider, actually.
And, uh, you see, he was shot up by the cops, and, uh, well he died as a result, God rest his soul.
I'm going to the cops.
No, no, no, no, no.
What good would that do, Megan? What would the cops do with it? They'll ship it off to that place where they burn criminals' loot.
But I, I can do something good with this money.
What? Add a second story to the house? No, I just thought maybe I'd, uh, fix up the clinic.
Maybe, um, you know, get me out of debt.
Um but, you know, this money, this money can make a big difference down there.
Come on.
That makes sense, doesn't it? Yes.
It does.
You are going to use this money for good.
Except not exactly how you had planned.
Look, go get your coat.
We're going to go for a ride.
Move it! Call your security.
Call the police.
I really don't give a damn.
I'm telling you, you're going to blow this.
Really nice try, Christine, but it didn't work.
You didn't want Kyle to see the letter.
You wanted me to see the letter.
This is just your pathetic way of trying to stop my wedding again.
I didn't know.
You're getting married? Oh, for God's sake.
Stop it.
You knew, and you sent the letter.
Well, I am here to tell you face-to-face that it's not going to work.
You didn't sleep with Kyle, and I don't have to ask him, and I won't.
I won't do anything to jeopardize our wedding.
So we're going to go ahead with it, and to hell with you and your suicide crap.
Besides, I don't think you have the guts to kill yourself.
I love him.
You know what? As far as Kyle's concerned, you're dead.
He's mine.
You show up in our lives again, I swear to God, I'll kill you.
Sam, you home? Hi.
You must think I'm the biggest weirdo ever.
No, I, I think it's cool.
Yeah, I love it.
Yeah, I can't get this dancing out of my head, either.
Do you mind if I cut in on your broom? You better hurry up.
The song's almost over.
I'm still not very good.
Come on.
Just feel the music.
Ooh.
Damn it, Billy.
I can't.
I can't do this to Sam.
You know, she's, she could have been with Jeff Baylor, over and over, and she hasn't cheated.
And I just, I can't do it to her.
It's not it's wrong.
But if J You're right.
Sam's my friend.
I think you should go.
Yeah.
Hi.
Thought I'd bring this by personally.
Standard card attached.
"Get well soon, from all of us at the Amanda Woodward Agency.
" Oh, how thoughtful.
"In lieu of a contract, we send cheese in a pretty basket.
" Oh, Flash Sporting Goods dropped me.
Of course, you probably already know that.
Does it hurt? Ah, what's a couple of million bucks? Oh, you mean the knee? No.
Nah, they've got it all shot up with stuff.
It's fine.
It's pretty cool of me, don't you think? I mean, I been back a whole day.
Haven't called you.
I wanted to.
Almost did a couple of times, but I knew how you felt, so Only, you don't know.
You have no idea.
You see, I went back, and I gave it the old college try, Jeff.
I mean, I really, really wanted it to work with Billy.
And it was like he planned it or something.
He started going on with this petty stuff about you and what happened and, and I realized that the only person that I'm not being fair to is you.
You, who I can't get out of my thoughts, who I need badly right now.
May I help you? Yes.
Um, we'd like to make a donation for your war on drugs and crime in the neighborhood.
I'll make the assumption this bag, it's filled with money? That's right, and I wouldn't ask where it came from.
We're trusting you to do the right thing with it.
Well, any money that comes through those doors is used for God's work.
Oh, that's great.
But in the meantime, I'd open an interest-bearing checking account.
Michael.
Well, good night, Father.
We don't want to wear out our welcome and Thank you.
Neither one of us has time for confession.
What is that? Whoa.
Whoa.
Where did that come from? Michael.
Father, here you go.
A few more dollars.
How do you feel? Ever seen a grown man cry? You're about to.
Come on.
Hurry up, doll.
Put it on.
I don't understand.
Where are we going? We are going to the Canyon Chapel, because Kyle and Amanda are going forward with the wedding.
This is crazy.
There is nothing left I can do.
Yes, you can object stridently.
You can throw yourself down the aisle, professing your undying love for Kyle.
At which point, Amanda will go absolutely insane.
Yeah, and probably try to kill me.
Well, we can only hope.
Yeah.
That's what she promised, right? Kyle will have to step in.
It'll be a big mess.
Causing you to fake the biggest, gnarliest nervous breakdown anyone has ever seen.
Kyle will get sympathetic, Amanda will call it the last straw, and part two of wedding interruptus will be successful.
Hey.
It's clear.
Let's go.
Okay, you two go together.
I'll take my own car.
All right, go.
What are you doing? I'm going to that chapel and telling Kyle the truth, that this was your crazy plan, that the real Christine is dead, and that I was used by you and Nick.
You can't say anything, or we'll all go to jail! I do.
And do you, Amanda, take this man to be your lawful wedded husband, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live? I do.
Therefore, before God and this church, I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Get back in the car now! Oh, my God.
She's dead.
Well, congratulations.
Come on.
Let's go.
Come on.
I want to wish you every happiness Come on! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Have fun on your honeymoon.
Thank you.
You didn't have to do that.
Well, I thought that we should at least have some of the frills, Mrs.
McBride.
Mrs.
McBride.
I like the sound of that.
So do I.
Thank you very much.
Come on.
Let's get out of here.
Let's do it, hon.
Okay, Bright Eyes, what do we do now?