Black-ish (2014) s06e23 Episode Script

1 I love a good family photo.
It's a way to take in how much our family has grown, and I'm not just talking about Jack's baby 'stache.
Even though it is coming in nicely.
See, this has been a year of growth for the Johnsons.
Junior's been working at Stevens & Lido, Bow has taken nicely to her role as a member of the California Board of Medicine, and Jack and Diane got deeper into their interests.
But no one's seen more growth this year than my father.
The experience of love and heartbreak transformed him into a much better version of himself.
Yep.
The whole family has gone through changes.
Well, everyone except my mama.
She's always going to be the same fierce, stubborn, loving woman who has always given me great comfort.
Mama! We're gonna be late! Mama, what the hell are you doing?! Woman, close your robe! Boy, close the door! Oh, sweet Black Jesus! Please tell me they were just wrestling.
I'm sorry you saw what you saw.
We should have been more careful.
Rainbow, you want to help us out? I don't think I'm getting through here.
Dre? Sweetheart, your dad is trying to talk to you.
Everything is gonna be fine.
Are you ready to talk? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's ready.
Look, we know it's messed up that you caught us, and I can promise you, it'll never happen again.
Did you hear what your dad said? They're never gonna sleep with each other again, Dre.
Well, I meant more like Ruby was gonna learn how to lock a door.
- Bow? - Okay, I'm right here.
- I'm right here.
- Earl, you so silly.
- I'm right here.
I'm right here.
- I'm right here.
- I'm sorry that you found out like this.
Yeah, yeah.
But at least it gives us a chance to come clean.
I mean, we have decided to give our love one more shot.
- Mm.
- Mm! Mm.
- Oh, my God.
- I want you to meet my new girlfriend, son your mama.
Bow! Okay, I-I don't know what to say.
We know this is tough for you, too, but honestly, for us, it's a huge weight off our chests.
No more stolen moments alone in the laundry room.
- Or the pantry - Mm.
the garage, the downstairs bathroom.
The pool.
The basketball court.
And on top of the garage.
Make it stop.
- Bow, make it stop.
- I'm trying.
I You know what? Maybe you need some time to process.
- Okay.
- Baby, let's go tell our grandkids that you're The One.
I'm The One.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah, I'm The One.
I'm The One.
Back together? Oh.
I see what's going on here.
One of you committed a crime.
You're re-marrying so you don't have to testify against the other.
The only crime committed here was your grandma stealing my heart, girl.
I just don't get it.
How did you two manage to fall back in love after all the fighting, the attempted poisonings, the successful poisonings? I don't know that we were ever out of love.
Our story started when we were just out of school.
I still remember the shirt he wore when we had our first kiss.
Mm.
The way his cologne smelled when he put his arm around me on our first date.
Mm.
You remember all of that? It's our story, Earl.
I guess it's true what they say about that first love.
It stays with you for your entire life.
Wait, your entire life? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
But don't worry.
We were much older when we met.
About 18.
- 18.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm 20.
Ah, well, then, you better get on it, because once you're old enough to buy a woman an amaretto sour you're no longer young love, Junior.
Here we go, baby.
Is my window for love closing already? Mm.
Was it ever truly open? Everywhere I look, I think, "Is this another place where they made their gruesome union?" All right, this doesn't make any sense.
All right, we all know that it's not gonna last.
Pops is gonna find a way to mess it up, and when he does, you're gonna get a Ruby classic property damage, boats, cars, a trunk full of Negro League memorabilia.
- Bow, you know what? - Hmm? We're gonna have to get more home insurance.
Let's hold on for a second, Dre.
We've both seen Pops grow immeasurably since Lynette.
Maybe this is different.
But working his voodoo on my mama? That's old Pops.
- Oh.
- All right, the man is charismatic, and when he turns the charm on, he's irresistible.
Where do you think I got it? Oh, Dre.
You're having a rough day, so I'm just gonna nod and smile.
And here my mama is, helpless to resist his charm.
I let this man into my home.
I let this man drink my whiskey, and he's gonna run game on my mama? Oh, no.
He's gonna have to cut that mess out.
Mm-hmm.
My house, my rules! Yeah.
I paid the majority of the down payment, but sure.
"Your house.
" Have your little rules.
Pops was out of pocket.
I had to give him a piece of my mind.
Hey, it's me, Dre! Uh, I'm here, and I'm opening the door now! I'm coming in.
Come on in.
I'm having a hell of a time keeping these orchids alive.
All right, look, um I'm gonna ask you something.
What are your intentions with my mama? Wait.
Um intentions? Yes.
Intentions.
Are you trying to get her to change her will? Live off her pension checks? Of course not.
I'm gonna take care of her.
Oh, you think I'm joking.
Man, what are your intentions with my mother? Are you roping her in like you always do? I will fight you.
Boy, if you don't get them dish-pan hands out of my face I didn't rope her.
She roped me.
What? Your mother's the one that wanted to get back together, son.
Hey, it's the truth, son.
Your mom wanted to give it another shot.
Black Jesus blessed me.
- So, she started this? - I know.
It's a lot for you to take on, so I'm gonna give you a pass.
But if you try and fight me again you gonna get to know these hands.
I don't understand.
So, this was her idea? I was just as shocked as you are.
I never thought I'd get another chance with her, especially after everything that we've been through, so I didn't even try.
I don't know if you know this, but I wasn't great to her.
Exactly.
Makes no sense.
You don't deserve her.
Of course I don't deserve her.
I'm the luckiest man on the planet that she'd even consider my ass.
Why do you think I'm in here buying flowers and ironing sheets and folding up throws and crap? I'm doing everything I can to hold onto that woman.
- You ain't lying, are you? - No, I am not.
And, son, while you're here do you know how to fold a fitted sheet? Yeah.
Put your fingers in the corner.
Once you get the corner Hey, what you got there, Mama? Hey.
Just a few shirts for your father.
You know I can't see a maroon velvet tank top and not think of him.
Ha-ha! You know what? Uh Pops said it was your idea to get back together.
Yeah.
I don't get it, Mama.
Have you forgot your history? All the fighting, which led to the late-night crying, which led to me taking care of you, feeding you, hiding your guns.
A kid should never have to hide that many guns.
Hey, wait a minute, now.
I I know my history.
Then why are you repeating it, Mama? We're not.
Now, you listen to me.
The things we used to fight about don't matter no more.
We don't argue about money.
I got money.
We don't argue about raising kids.
Y'all grown.
So, now, we can just enjoy each other.
Things are great.
Mama, things were great when I was a kid, and then you blew up his boat.
I have moved on, and so should you.
Now I got to get this this tank top on your daddy.
'Cause the sooner I get it on him, the sooner I get it off.
Earl! Where you at?! Well, look at this.
Coming in early to do your first fake casting call.
Outstanding.
No? I just needed some room to spread out.
It's come to my attention that I need to find the love of my life - in the next couple, I don't know, years.
- Well, the choice is obvious.
Choose her.
Why is that obvious? Well, she seems bright, like she comes from a good family, and, uh Well, I can't really put my finger on it.
I mean, it's, uh Wow.
Now I see it.
I think I may have a problem.
What's going on here? Uh, Junior here is looking for love of his life.
Oh.
She's cute.
Pick her.
That's Niecy.
She hates me.
But based off my grandparents' love, that would be the right move.
Looks like someone's realizing that they're running out of time to find true love, hmm? Who's this caramel queen? That's Sky.
We kind of have a "will they, won't they" - sort of thing.
- Mm.
People find it delightful.
Hmm.
Still, it can be any one of them.
Man, why is this so hard? You're too in your head.
It's a game of fate.
And there's only one way to play a game of fate.
My mother said she would beat my ass if I wasn't home by 6:30.
- Uh - P.
M.
Pacific time.
- Saturday.
- Eh - That one.
- All right.
- Oh.
- Ha-ha.
- Wow.
- Hmm.
- Sky.
- Mm-hmm.
That makes complete sense.
She's funny, she's smart.
Whenever we cross paths, sparks fly.
We've just never really launched.
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
Of course it's Sky.
- Mm-hmm.
- Hey.
Go to her.
And here's a thousand dollars.
This is gonna require a grand gesture, and you cannot put love on layaway.
Okay.
I'm gonna do it.
My love story begins today! - Aww.
- Go get her, man.
Doesn't fate work in mysterious ways? Does it? Charlie.
My folks acted like they invented love and carried on rewriting their history all around my house.
What the hell? Bow? Yeah? - What's up? - This.
Oh.
I know.
I took that down earlier today, and they put it back up bigger.
I am so ready for this to be over.
Ooh-hoo! - Are you kidding me? - What is that? What the hell is that? Woman, are you crazy? You bought Why'd you buy a boat? I bought it for you, Earl.
What better symbol of us starting over than me replacing the very thing I blew up? Here.
- Aww.
- Hmm.
There's my handsome baby.
Well, it's nice to know that just 'cause something gets destroyed, it doesn't mean you can't piece it all back together again.
- Mm.
Mwah.
- Thank you, baby.
- Can you believe this? - Look at you.
This is so romantic.
What? I believe in their love, Dre.
I-I'm sorry.
I-I just do.
You want to go with me on a multi-day trip around Catalina? Earl, we can literally sail off into the sunset.
Only if you wear this bracelet I got you.
Ooh! It's in a little velvet box up under my pillow.
Ooh, under your pillow? Let's go, baby.
Hey! Disgusting.
They are making love, Dre.
In the truest sense.
They are making love right before our eyes.
Are you serious? Their relationship and that boat will be reduced to ashes before bikini season.
- Dre.
- No.
You have no idea if this is gonna be a disaster.
I don't know.
I think we're just gonna have to let this play out, see what happens.
I-I like the way that things were, all right? Everybody was getting along.
It was perfect.
My mother was happy.
- What - I-If that explodes now, all of that goes away.
You don't know what's gonna happen.
- Yes, I do.
- No.
Because it always happens, and when it does I'm gonna lose my Pops.
Oh.
That's what this is.
Yes, Bow.
I figured it out at the same time as you, so please, don't pat yourself on the back.
Hey, Mama, can I talk to you for a second? Don't come for me over that boat.
I can afford it.
My Jersey Mike's franchise has been very good to me.
Look, Mama, I I just want to apologize for before.
I was tripping.
Look, you are always my number one, and I'm gonna be a little overprotective.
But I can see it's different between you and Pops.
Ooh, Dre, it really is.
But that's the thing, Mama.
When the two of you break up, I have to choose you because I put you before everybody.
I never missed having a dad because you were everything to me.
But, Mama, for the first time, Pops and I are good.
I never expected to have the relationship with him that I have now.
And if I choose you, that means losing him.
So, can you take a beat and step back? Oh, Dre.
- No.
- What? That's not the way it works, baby.
But I'm scared that I'm gonna lose my dad again.
Come on, Mama.
Do this for me.
I have been putting you first your entire life, Andre.
I'm not doing it this time.
- But, Mama, sometimes - Don't "but" me! I'm grown! Well, then you're gonna have to be grown someplace else.
- What are you talking about? - My house, my rules.
Either you break up with my daddy, or the both of you have to move out.
Fine.
We will be out by the end of the week.
I like the nightstand.
I'm taking it with me.
For the first time in my life, my mother had chosen someone else over me.
Luckily, I had Bow to comfort me.
You know I fantasized a lot about the day your mother would move out.
The news crews would come to get my reaction.
There would be fireworks and a crawl under my face that says, "Dr.
Rainbow Johnson, Survivor.
" You really gonna do this now? After I just had to kick my own mother out? Bow, I've been with her through divorce and eviction and when she found out that Bobby Caldwell was white.
I've always been her number-one guy, and she chose another man over me.
Dre, she did not choose another man over you.
She chose herself.
I know that you see Ruby as your mother, but that's not all she is.
She's a woman with desires and vulnerabilities, and you wouldn't understand that 'cause you're her son, and that's not your job.
It's her time now.
But what if this thing doesn't work out, huh? How am I supposed to live through that again? You and I have both been saying that it's different this time, but it's not just them.
It's you.
And you said it yourself.
You've always been there for your mom.
You really want to stop doing that now? Dre, she's on her way to Catalina.
Talk to her.
Yeah.
I can't leave it like this.
No.
She's the best woman I know.
W Wow.
Right to my face.
Okay.
Thanks for helping me out, guys.
Diane, you are totally awesome for offering to film this.
I feel like the world needs to see - what's about to happen.
- Mm-hmm.
Jack, you got the music cued up? Cued up to get boo'd up.
All right.
There she is.
Jack, music.
For real, for real, for real this time Sky! Sky! Your Prince Charming is here! Oh, you make my earth quake Riding around Your love is shakin' me up and it's making my - Jazz? - Heart break Why? Why are you like this, man? And cut.
I can't wait to hear why you made such a huge fool of yourself right now.
I'm okay being a fool for love.
Where's Sky? I don't know.
Text her.
Okay, this is a grand gesture.
You can't text a grand gesture.
And look, I know me and Sky are in this weird "will they, won't they" thing, but I'm trying to write our love story.
Junior, I know you're looking for a story, but you can't force it.
There's a mystery, a romance to these things.
Well, what do you think I'm trying to do here? I mean It looks like you're trying to manufacture something.
You got to just let love happen.
You don't write it.
You experience it.
- You do? - Yes.
And, hey, one day, when you're least expecting it, you'll meet someone just as earnest and unbearable as you.
You really mean it? I don't know, bitch.
I don't work for you.
I'm at school.
Go home.
Ooh, I'm so happy my babies came to see us off! I'm happy for you, Grandma.
At least love is working out for someone.
Not all of us are meant to have some grand love story where we're swept off our feet when we're least expecting it.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Ruby, come on.
We gotta go 'cause the wind's kicking up.
So's my pill.
- Okay, baby.
- Hmm? - Mamaaaa! - Okay, we are coming! - Mamaaaa! - Okay.
Okay.
- Mama, wait! - Okay.
Boy, I should beat your ass for making me think you weren't coming to see me.
Look, Mama, I'm sorry for how I was acting, all right? You and I have gone through a lot, and whatever's gonna happen next, I'm gonna go through that with you, too.
Well, I hope so.
'Cause you kick me out of the house again, you gonna get to know these hands.
Come here.
Mm.
Oh, Dre, I really think it's gonna work this time.
I think so, too.
Okay.
Well, we're off! Diane! You got it! Okay, where's the champagne? Turns out they wouldn't sell alcohol to me, but I got the next best thing.
- Ooh.
- Uh-huh.
This is why I never give you jobs.
Goodness gracious.
Oh! Oh, crap! I'm so sorry! No, no, it's totally okay.
Okay, good.
I'm Olivia.
- I'm proud of you.
- Hm? I know this wasn't easy.
Yeah.
Well, you know, somebody told me that I was a grown man and that whatever happens - Mm.
- I could handle it.
Yeah.
You wouldn't last two minutes in this world without her.
Nope.
Like I said, it's been a year of changes for everyone.
Even me.