Northern Exposure s06e23 Episode Script
Tranquility Base
You, Barbara.
You here to share with me my inaugural weekend in my new summer lodge It's more than a man could ask for.
Looks pretty good from over here, too, mister.
I almost wish nobody else was coming.
And waste all that good food you bought? Well, everything in its time.
We'll have time for everything.
Well, I've got the Parcheesi, the Yahtzee and the Trivial Pursuit.
In the sideboard, Ed.
Well, we better hop to.
We've got a houseful of people coming.
We've got to open up the house, air it out, uncover the furniture.
Wow! Another vole, Barbara? As you were, gentlemen.
I'll dispose of the remains.
That's five in a row.
Right in the head, Maurice.
Ed, can you keep a secret? Not a peep, you understand? Champagne? Not just champagne, Ed.
This is Krug, Clos du Mesnil '83.
It's for Barbara and me.
I'll tell you, I had to squeeze a few peaches to get this.
My lips are sealed, Maurice.
Oh, no! Not the champagne, Ed.
That's not the secret.
No.
The secret is that I'm planning to ask Barbara Semanski for her hand this weekend.
Her hand? Yeah.
Oh, her hand! Congratulations, Maurice! Congratulations! Hi, honey.
Hi.
We're all packed, ready for the weekend.
Good.
What's wrong with your foot? Oh, it's just a blister.
You're not wearing any socks? There were too many of them in the drawer, Phil.
Cotton.
Knee-high.
Ankle.
Wool.
I couldn't decide.
See, it's getting worse.
It's not just the big things anymore.
Should I go back to journalism? Should I have a baby? It's now down to the little things, ridiculous things.
I can't decide anything anymore.
Everybody has trouble making decisions sometime or another.
Oh, I guess.
Okay, what can I get for you? Denver plate, eggs easy, hold the scallions, tomato 'stead of potatoes.
Okay.
And a corn muffin for me, toasted, with a nice, big scoop of cottage cheese.
Okay.
Thanks.
See? See how easy that was? Didn't even have to think about it.
They knew just what they wanted.
Why can't I do that? You can.
You know when it started? It was those truckers and the pie.
Oh, fork on the left or right? Gosh, which looks best? Honey, honey, look at you.
You're exhausted.
Now, we have a whole weekend at Maurice's to just rest and relax.
Just finish up your setups and let's go out to the country and enjoy ourselves, okay? Doctor's orders.
You're right.
You're right.
I'll try.
Okay.
Okay.
Ed, these lemon drop dishes are a little stingy.
Top them off, will you? And start to air out that cabernet.
Our guests will be here pretty soon, and Whoa! Barbara.
Maurice.
Wow! You are a vision.
Spring sale.
Target.
Not only beautiful but practical as well.
Barbara, before our guests get here They're here! I hear the truck.
Everybody's here! Sounds like a bad rotor.
Yeah, if I'm lucky.
Yeah.
Here you go, Holling.
Hope he's got a welcome spread.
Ride worked on my appetite.
He always does.
Cool, huh, Doc? Yeah.
Hey, Holling? Oh, sorry, Doc.
He's just kind of territorial right now.
He's in rut.
Rut again, huh? He's in a rut? "In rut," Phillip.
Vincoeur's been in the bush so long, he's picked up the sexual biorhythms of the caribou bull.
Okay.
Wait a minute, so you're telling me he's in rut? Thank you.
Welcome, friends! I see the eagle has landed.
Barbara and I would like to welcome each and every one of you to Tranquility Base! We are surrounded here by 1,500 plus acres of virgin old-growth forest.
We've got mountain streams.
We've got a glacier-fed lake.
We've got everything here, from sports Oh, thanks.
to nature to good old-fashioned leisure.
It's all laid out there in that brochure that Ed's handing out to you.
Maurice, kinda need to know where we're crashing, ASAP.
Oh, of course.
I'm sure we all want to wash up after that dusty journey.
Ed, the bunk roster, please? All right.
Vincoeurs, you'll be quartered in the Wally Schirra.
A lovely suite overlooking the front lawn Miss Miller, Mr.
Kupfer, you'll be in Buzz Aldrin.
Capras, you're in Chuck Yeager.
Ed, Chris, in Alan Shepard.
Marilyn, you'll have Jim Lovell to yourself, because Maggie is a no-show.
No biggie.
All right.
Now, Barbara, if you'll show Miss Whirlwind and the Capras to their room, I'll take care of the rest of these folks here.
Okay, listen up, people.
Whirlwind, down the hall, make the first right, door next to the head.
Capras Barbara, Barbara, excuse me.
I meant, show them to their rooms.
That'd be nice.
Oh.
Okay, sure.
No problem.
This way.
Now, if the rest of you folks will follow me.
Miss Miller, Mr.
Kupfer.
Just get our bags.
Thank you, my good man.
Spelunking, paddle boating.
Gosh, there's so much stuff.
Well, don't worry about it, honey.
We're gonna go on the nature walk.
Hey, you guys.
One complimentary fruit basket and extra blankets.
Oh, well, that's great, Ed.
Thanks.
Anywhere's fine.
Thanks, Ed.
The nature walk, honey, are you sure? What about the wildflower pressing? We could start a scrapbook.
Great idea.
Scrapbook.
But then we'd miss the nature walk.
Okay, then the nature walk.
I didn't say that, Phil.
Did I? Tell you what, why don't you go on the wildflower thing and I'll do the nature hike, okay? You're sick of me, aren't you? No.
No, not sick of you.
I Well, maybe I'll just stay in bed.
Or hide in the closet.
Or, hey, under the rug! Michelle, come on, honey Maurice.
Oh, hello, Ruth-Anne.
Have you come to get a jump on my geology lecture? Look here.
Did you ever see a finer piece of variegated dolomite? Yes, it's very nice, but I need to have a word with you.
Sure.
Walt didn't want me to say anything because we're guests in your house, you know.
Uh-huh.
But Barbara confiscated Walt's whittling knife.
That drop-blade of his.
She did? He was working on a piece of red cedar and she jumps out of the bushes and demands that he hand it over.
He got it in Italy, for heaven's sake.
The man's a war hero.
Don't worry, Ruth-Anne.
I'll talk to Barbara and we'll get Walt's knife back.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Hayden, Maurice told me to bring you these tools so you could fix your truck and go home.
Just set 'em down over there, Ed.
I gotta think it through.
You don't wanna be popping any manifolds until I got a plan, right? Right.
You could soak them spark plugs in a little gas for me.
And, oh, while you're up, could you grab me another cold one? Spark plugs and a cold one.
Hey, Eduardo! Hayden.
Huh? What a life! Fresh air.
Lime Rickey.
You're telling me.
I told Marsha I'd be home in time to paint her kid's back bedroom.
Couple studs like us on the loose, huh? Wood nymphs, beware! Captain, what do you say we take to the woods and secure us a little female pulch? The woods? Hey, it's crawling with it.
You got geologists.
Spelunkers.
Occasional lost camper.
I don't think so.
Hayden, it's guaranteed.
I never been on a babe scout yet where I didn't come back with a little something, you know what I'm saying? No, it ain't my style.
Me and Marsha, you know, we got our own.
We're tight, you know what I mean? Hmm.
Yeah, I do.
Hey, more for me, then.
Ciao.
See you later.
What are you trying to tell me, Maurice? Well, I'm the host.
As hostess, you're my backup.
It's my duty, and hopefully you'll see it as yours, to make sure our guests are comfortable.
That they enjoy themselves.
They don't want to police up after themselves.
If they want to leave a half a cup of coffee, or a little crust of muffin I didn't want ants overrunning the place.
No, of course not.
But they're here to enjoy themselves and it's their prerogative to do so.
For example, if one of our guests wants to whittle with his knife, he should have his whittler, right? Even if it's a Class C felony carrying a year in jail? Barbara, this is my personal property, and I doubt that Walt Kupfer's gonna shank anybody with his blade.
So you're asking me to look the other way? Well In a word, yeah.
Look, while you're here at Tranquility Base, can you just try to leave your badge in the drawer? I mean, everybody likes to get away from his job once in a while.
Well For you? Deal.
Thanks, Barbara.
Dr.
Capra, you look like you could use an Arctic iced tea.
You know, I think you're right, Ed.
I just happen to have one on the back porch for you.
Can I ask you a question, Dr.
Capra? Yeah, sure, why not? Well, I'm here helping Maurice this week, well, mostly because I said I would.
But I'm also a shaman in training, you know.
Yeah, I know.
A hyphenate.
Well, my shaman instructor, Leonard, he says that unasked-for advice can be taken as an act of hostility.
But if I see someone doing something that's bad for them, isn't it my duty as a shaman, a healer, to tell them? Well, if you think it's important that they know, yeah.
It's you, Dr.
Capra.
Me? Yeah, well, you and Mrs.
Capra.
The way you've been making all her decisions for her, like in your room.
What, you mean that wildflower thing? She just wants to do it all, that's all.
I'm sure she's having a great time.
Yeah.
Well, that.
Laying out all her socks and shoes.
Filling out all her activity and menu cards.
I don't know what else to do, Ed.
I don't know what's wrong with her, why she can't make her own decisions.
I've run every test, blood, bile, and she's clean.
I'm not surprised.
What, then, some mild form of aphasia? Or some obscure Oliver Sacksian neurological syndrome? She's just She's just having a hard time making up her mind, Dr.
Capra.
You're not helping by making all her decisions for her, either.
It's just easier, that's all.
Well, but not in the long run.
You're an enabler, Phil.
And enabling hurts the enabler, too.
You think for her, then you get mad at her because you're thinking for her, and then you feel used, that makes you feel sorry for yourself.
Phil, just say no.
She's gonna have to learn to think for herself sometime.
I better get back to work now.
Whoa! Look out below! Look out! Hey! Whoa! My goodness, are you all right? I think I'm all right.
But I'm stuck.
Could you give me a hand with this clasp here? Through the other end.
Gosh, you know, you're lucky.
You could have really been hurt.
Oh, yes.
Oh, I haven't been in one of these since D-day.
Oh, well, why are you skydiving in a suit? That's a good question.
One minute I'm in shul studying the Talmud, Rabbi Braude's commentary on Rabbi Goldstein's commentary on the meaning of God's words to Moses at the burning bush, when, suddenly It's a clicker.
Hmm.
We had these in Normandy when we were trying to find each other.
Hmm.
Wait, I'm sorry.
I don't understand.
You went off-course, is that it? It depends.
Where am I? Mount Avery.
Near Cicely, Alaska.
Alaska? Alaska again? Hmm.
Must be to find Joel.
What's he up to now? Joel? Oh, Dr.
Fleischman? Yes.
You know him? Oh, you know, he's gone.
He went back to New York.
Gone? Then why am I here? Excuse me.
Alan Schulman.
You can call me rabbi.
Yeah.
I'm the new doctor's wife.
I'm Michelle Capra.
Capra? Doesn't sound Jewish.
No.
I'm Catholic.
Polish, actually.
My maiden name was Schowdoski.
Hmm.
So why am I here? You know, rabbi, you ought to come back to the lodge with me.
The lodge? I don't know.
I have this clicker.
Maybe I'm supposed to use it.
Decisions.
Decisions.
Yeah! Decisions.
Rabbi? Rabbi? Shelly! Holling! Hey, you guys, it's me, Ed.
I brought you some dinner.
Thought you might be hungry.
All right.
Well, I'm just gonna set it down outside the door here.
Something I can help you with, Miss Whirlwind? I need another pillow.
Problem with the pillow you were given? Is something wrong, ladies? She wants another pillow.
Mine was lumpy.
Barbara, isn't this exactly what we were talking about? If a guest wants another pillow, then we give them another pillow.
I was, if you could've kept your gun in your holster.
You were? This one's good.
Good night.
Against my better judgment, I might add, unless you want them all traipsing through here exchanging bedding.
Hi, Officer Semanski.
Bye, Officer Semanski.
So, did you ask her yet, Maurice? Ed, stow that paddle, and put out the coffee and the pastries in mission control.
Some of them wanna play charades.
Uh, dentures! Teeth! Oh.
Uh-uh.
False teeth.
Upper plate.
Plate My Dinner with André! Yeah.
Rowing a boat.
Dancing a jig! Walking, stepping.
Teeth stepping.
Uh Stevens, my man, back from the hunt? Seem to be.
Babeless? Nothing out there.
It's weird.
It's different.
What? Do I seem different to you? Okay.
No.
Waterway? Maybe it's the woods.
Itches.
Hmm, hmm.
Sounds like Mmm-hmm.
Witches! Witches of Mad! Itches of mad? Madness of King George! Buh Buh Bridges! Bridges of Bridges of Madison County! Yes! Yes! Good! What took you guys so long? We win, we win! No way, José! Those were great clues, honey.
Infraction! Nope! That doesn't count.
She said "buh.
" Barbara, shh, okay? I will not! That point should be deducted.
She cheated! I heard her.
Barbara, please, it's just a parlor game! Now, shh.
I will not.
And let go of me! Barbara, just Quit telling me what to do! Barbara, just calm down.
I said, "off," bub! Shove! Barbara, that's enough now! You asked for it.
Ow! Ow! Barbara! That Barbara Semanski, wicked right hand.
Wouldn't wanna get on her bad side.
Hey, what are you doing, Ed? Buttoning my P.
J.
s.
It's still the shank of the evening.
Let's get us a sixer, go launch the craft like we used to.
I don't think so, buddy.
Maurice wants kolaches for breakfast, I got to get up really early.
Yeah, we'll pull an all-nighter, then, huh? We'll get us a little cognac, huh? Keep us peppy.
Oh, I don't know.
I'm kind of tired.
It's been a long day for me.
Hey, that's never stopped us before.
Come on! Sorry, buddy.
I'll say.
Barbara, please.
I'm tired of talking.
Time for walking.
So it's come to this.
I wear a badge, mister.
That's me.
If that don't cut the mustard, then sayonara.
Hayden, man, I've been looking for you! Come on, get your stuff.
I'm taking you fishing.
Fishing, now? Yeah.
Nighttime's the best time for bullheads.
Aw, Chris, there's too many mosquitoes.
Mosquitoes? Well Hey, the boss has got to have some repellent around here somewhere.
Yeah, maybe.
Hey, hey.
Hayden, look at that.
What's that? Champagne? You got it.
A little bubbly.
Party time! No, I pass.
You know, I get a little destructive on champagne.
I still owe the steakhouse up there in Sleetmute some money for their jukebox.
Hayden, come here.
Hold this for me right here, would you? What? Just stand right here and hold that.
Hmm.
What's this? Yeah.
"Krug, Clos du Mesnil, 1983.
"Grande Cuvée.
" Hmm.
Ooh Holy Wait Hey, I can't believe it.
I saw that in a movie once, Hayden.
You could've cut my fingers off! Let's party! Pour it up, buddy.
Pour it up.
You two clowns mind squelching that racket? Trying to get a little shut-eye around here.
Yes, Officer.
Well, I'm still up, and somebody's got to have a little fun around here! Hayden? Thanks anyway, man.
Yeah? Skoal! Good kolaches.
Oh, thanks, Marilyn.
What's over there? Plenty of apricot.
Okay, that sounds fine.
Oh, Hayden? Hayden, Maurice wanted me to ask About the truck? I'm on it.
I'm on it, man.
Cool.
Seat taken? Hey, buddy.
Whoa, you okay, Chris? Never better, never better.
You don't look so good.
You should've been there, amigo.
Finished off that bottle of French fizz.
Got a quick six of Colt 45s.
How about some Extra Strength Tylenol? Yeah, all right.
So what do you think, Phil? The morel hunt? I think you'd like it.
But it's up to you, you know.
I mean, if you want to go, go.
If you don't, don't.
Are you going? No.
Oh.
So maybe I shouldn't go.
Maybe.
Are you telling me not to? No.
I'm not telling you anything.
So I should go then? No, I didn't say that.
Phil Look, Michelle, I think it's important that you make this decision on your own.
I mean, you can do it.
I know you can.
Maurice? Two dropped eggs on toast, hash browns, black coffee and orange juice.
Just put them down anywhere.
Swelling's gone down some.
Did you ask her? What? Officer Semanski.
Pop the big one? Are you out of your mind? Look, Ed, that That mission is scrubbed.
Aborted.
Barbara will be leaving as soon as one of her cronies can get here in a black-and-white.
I'm sorry, Maurice.
Ed, do you know why I really bought this place? Because I wanted a family compound, kinda like what Jack Kennedy had in Hyannis Port.
Touch football on the lawn, deal-making on the porch.
Children underfoot.
Oh, well.
A lot of my other dreams came to fruition.
"The tumult and the shouting dies "The captains and the kings depart.
" All right, mycophiles.
This is your quarry.
The morel mushroom.
Latin name, angusticeps.
And a sweeter representative of the Morchella family never drew nitrogen.
But the morel doesn't easily give up her favors.
You have to court her.
Can any of you find the mushroom? No.
No.
No.
Impressive.
Oh! Wow! Well, at first, you can't see them anyplace, but once you get in the zone, you see them everywhere.
Any questions? No.
Good luck.
Okay.
Rabbi? Rabbi? Oh, hello again.
I'm really glad to see you.
Really? Yeah.
So, you wandered off so quickly.
Well, I have a lot on my mind.
I can't seem to find my unit.
What are you doing in this neck of the woods? Oh, I'm on a mushroom hunt, only now I'm not sure how to get back to the lodge.
No need to worry.
I have a map.
You do? Oh, great.
Let's see, Utah Beach Omaha Beach Cherbourg? Sainte-Mére-Eglise? What? This is the map I had in Normandy Hell, I'm all farblondget.
Here I am in Alaska with a World War ll clicker, no Joel, and a wandering Gentile.
At least in the past, I had some clue of what was going on.
You mean this has happened to you before? You just show up out of the clear blue sky? Never by parachute.
One time Joel fished me out of a lake.
Another time, just before Yom Kippur, I materialized in his bedroom.
You know, rabbi, I really should be getting back to the lodge.
And think maybe you should come with me, too.
To the lodge? Yeah.
Why not? Who's to say? Good.
Good.
Oh, only, which way do we go? There's an old Yiddish proverb.
"When you don't know where you're going, "every road will take you there.
" Oh, another one.
Hey, you better get with the program, buddy.
Can't do it, Hayden.
Sure you can.
Just look under the trees! Can't lie to myself anymore.
I miss her, bad.
Yeah, but what about all them wood nymphs? History, man.
I've changed.
Rounded a corner.
Chris Stevens is a bachelor no more.
Look at that.
That's just like Maggie.
It was there all the time, only I didn't see it.
And I let her go without a peep.
South.
Two, bam.
Hey, have any of you seen Michelle? No.
I haven't.
She went off by herself.
Okay.
Thanks.
Sure.
Well, one thing is for sure.
We're lost.
The final insult.
God's big joke on Rabbi Schulman.
What do you mean? You want the short version? A couple of years ago, my congregation wanted to kick me upstairs, rabbi emeritus.
A lot of changes were going on.
Yeah.
Female cantor, new liturgy.
Hmm.
The board didn't think I could roll with it.
No, but you did.
Good.
Yes.
Things worked out pretty good.
So, last month, with my house in order, I thought maybe I'd lay down the reins and devote myself to study.
You know, no more sisterhood breakfasts and bar mitzvahs.
Just quiet time for meditation and prayer.
Mmm, sounds nice.
Hmm, so what happens? My sciatica starts acting up.
Oh, no.
Every time I sit at my desk, I get these shooting pains down my legs.
So now I have to read lying down.
But I can't concentrate lying down.
Oh! My wife says if I don't stop being such a grump, she's gonna throw me right out of the house.
Yeah.
He hasn't said anything, but my husband's losing it with me, too.
I can't make decisions anymore, from what to wear to what to do with my life.
It's like I can't move forward and I can't look back.
Hmm.
Perfect.
A dysfunctional rabbi and a paralyzed Catholic howling in the wilderness.
Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways, hmm? Or not.
Rabbi, look! My Oh, my God! We should put it out! No, no, don't.
It's a bush.
Huh? It's a burning bush.
Like with Moses.
I mean, look around.
You see anything else on fire? A burning bush? It's a message.
The voice of God.
Finally, all of this is going to begin to make sense.
I don't hear Shh! Come on, we're listening.
It's starting to go out, rabbi.
No, it can't go out.
It can't.
We haven't gotten the message yet.
No, please.
Please! Oh, God.
Rabbi, it's not a message from God.
Maybe it was the lightning or something.
No.
Please! The slides of our weekend on the Yorktown.
I'd like to keep those, if you don't mind.
You can keep the BlackHawk, too.
I've got another.
357 I use for deer.
No, thank you.
the sam hill? Michelle never came home from the mushroom hunt.
She's out there somewhere.
It's all my fault! Come on! Wait a minute! Hold it, hold it.
Maurice, she doesn't know the woods.
She's never even been camping.
Listen up! We need a search party, not a mob scene.
Bill, crack out the walkie-talkies, megaphone and flashlights.
Miller, split this group into teams, two by number.
All right.
Maurice, you should have topo maps of the area? Sure.
We'll need copies for each team penciled in 100-yard squares.
Right.
Well, don't just stand there.
Nobody panics.
We proceed to the target area in a line 10 yards apart.
From there we initiate a grid search on my command.
What was your wife wearing when you last saw her? A green coat and blue jeans.
Make a note of it, people.
A green coat and blue jeans.
What was that? Oh, it's just something my father used to say.
Piltz used to say that.
Who? Stanley Piltz.
He was a private in my unit.
Piltz? Yeah.
P-I-L-T-Z.
Uh-huh.
Polish.
Like you.
Like you, he couldn't make his mind up about anything.
Really? Hmm.
He was from Cincinnati, a plumber.
Tell me more about him.
He used to ask me questions about everything.
From philosophy to what to have for breakfast.
That's just like me.
Got to the point, I used to duck every time I saw him coming.
"Schulman, can I ask you a question? "Schulman, can I ask you " Drive me nuts.
That's just like me and Phil.
Last time I saw him was over the Channel, D-day, just before we had to jump.
Piltz wanted to talk.
Like everybody else on the plane, I had other things on my mind.
And when it came time to jump, he couldn't do it.
What do you mean? He froze in the doorway.
It wasn't that he was afraid to jump, really, it was just that he couldn't make up his mind whether to go or not.
He took his parachute off the static line, let everybody else go by.
As I went by, he said, "Schulman, can I ask you a question?" No! It was too late, I had to go.
Never did find out what he wanted to ask.
A few minutes later the plane was shot down with Piltz still in it.
Wow.
Michelle! Michelle? Michelle! Mrs.
Capra? Mrs.
Capra! Mrs.
Capra? Mrs.
Capra! Man, I never should have let her go.
It's not your fault, Dr.
Capra.
I'm just an apprentice shaman.
I should never have interfered.
No, you were just trying to help, Ed.
Leonard says you lose one every now and then, but Ed, we're gonna find her, okay? Just keep looking, all right? Maybe if I'd listened to Piltz a little more, maybe he would've jumped from that plane.
And maybe, sitting in my study all day long, reading Maybe that's not my path.
I need to be with people, minister to my congregation.
Maybe that's why you and I were thrown together, to remind me of that.
Oh, so what does that say about me? That I'm like Private Piltz? Piltz was afraid of making a decision for fear of making the wrong decision.
That's no way to live.
You make a mistake, so what? So you move on.
It's better than standing still.
Ah.
Well, gotta get back to my mishpoche.
You know what? Suddenly, my sciatica doesn't hurt as much anymore.
How about that? Wait, rabbi.
What about me? I'll give you the same advice I'd give Piltz if I had a second chance.
Jump.
For God's sake, jump.
Right.
Okay.
Oh.
But which path? Left or right? Rabbi? Rabbi? Right.
Jump.
Jump.
It's 18:00.
Sunset's 18:20.
We'll reform in groups of three and Holling? He's got the scent! Follow him! Michelle! Michelle.
Oh, honey! Oh, hi, Holling! Honey? Hey, how you doing? You okay? I'm okay.
Yeah.
I'm gonna get you in for x-rays, check for possible concussion.
I'm fine, Phil.
Really.
Well, you've been muttering about a rabbi, Utah Beach.
It's all my fault.
I never should have let you go.
Oh, would you stop, honey? No, don't worry about it.
It won't happen again.
From now on I'm gonna stick with you.
No, you know what, Phil? Letting me go in the woods was the best thing you could've done.
Really? Yeah.
You hungry? Oh! You know, what I'd like is a turkey club with extra mayo, hold the tomatoes, on toasted whole wheat.
I guess rutting season's over.
Till next year.
This is delicious, isn't it? Barbara, I owe you an apology.
I've been trying to turn you into something that you're not.
You're no gentle lady.
You're a warrior.
That's what attracted me.
That's what attracts me now.
Look, I Maybe I've burned all my bridges, but I'm constitutionally incapable of retreat, so I guess I'll just go ahead.
It's It's difficult for me to say this, but I love you, Barbara.
I want you to be my wife.
Well, what the hell, might as well try, huh? Nothing to lose.
It's okay.
You don't have to say anything.
Yes.
What? I said, I accept, Maurice.
You do? Yeah, but no big announcement, no splashy wedding.
We do it by the book or we don't do it at all, you got that? Outstanding! Well, aren't you gonna kiss me? Well, I blame myself.
What? I let her walk out that door.
'Cause I'm the Teflon kid.
Dozens of chicks, nothing sticks.
Are you talking about Maggie? Mating for life, couples.
I always thought that was for somebody else, Ed.
Not for me, you know.
Karma is rearing its ugly head.
Oh, I don't know about that, Chris.
Hmm.
The wheel of life.
Hi, there.
How's it going? Good to see you.
Round and round she goes.
Where she Hey.
Hi.
I couldn't go.
I just couldn't go.
You couldn't? No.
I mean, I was about to get on the plane, and I thought, why am I doing this? I mean Mmm-hmm? What I'm trying to say is, I'd rather be with you.
Hmm? I mean, I'm not trying to put any pressure on you or anything.
It's my decision.
You can put pressure on me.
I'm glad you came back.
You are? Come here.
Do you wanna dance? Yeah.
Well, then, come on.
You here to share with me my inaugural weekend in my new summer lodge It's more than a man could ask for.
Looks pretty good from over here, too, mister.
I almost wish nobody else was coming.
And waste all that good food you bought? Well, everything in its time.
We'll have time for everything.
Well, I've got the Parcheesi, the Yahtzee and the Trivial Pursuit.
In the sideboard, Ed.
Well, we better hop to.
We've got a houseful of people coming.
We've got to open up the house, air it out, uncover the furniture.
Wow! Another vole, Barbara? As you were, gentlemen.
I'll dispose of the remains.
That's five in a row.
Right in the head, Maurice.
Ed, can you keep a secret? Not a peep, you understand? Champagne? Not just champagne, Ed.
This is Krug, Clos du Mesnil '83.
It's for Barbara and me.
I'll tell you, I had to squeeze a few peaches to get this.
My lips are sealed, Maurice.
Oh, no! Not the champagne, Ed.
That's not the secret.
No.
The secret is that I'm planning to ask Barbara Semanski for her hand this weekend.
Her hand? Yeah.
Oh, her hand! Congratulations, Maurice! Congratulations! Hi, honey.
Hi.
We're all packed, ready for the weekend.
Good.
What's wrong with your foot? Oh, it's just a blister.
You're not wearing any socks? There were too many of them in the drawer, Phil.
Cotton.
Knee-high.
Ankle.
Wool.
I couldn't decide.
See, it's getting worse.
It's not just the big things anymore.
Should I go back to journalism? Should I have a baby? It's now down to the little things, ridiculous things.
I can't decide anything anymore.
Everybody has trouble making decisions sometime or another.
Oh, I guess.
Okay, what can I get for you? Denver plate, eggs easy, hold the scallions, tomato 'stead of potatoes.
Okay.
And a corn muffin for me, toasted, with a nice, big scoop of cottage cheese.
Okay.
Thanks.
See? See how easy that was? Didn't even have to think about it.
They knew just what they wanted.
Why can't I do that? You can.
You know when it started? It was those truckers and the pie.
Oh, fork on the left or right? Gosh, which looks best? Honey, honey, look at you.
You're exhausted.
Now, we have a whole weekend at Maurice's to just rest and relax.
Just finish up your setups and let's go out to the country and enjoy ourselves, okay? Doctor's orders.
You're right.
You're right.
I'll try.
Okay.
Okay.
Ed, these lemon drop dishes are a little stingy.
Top them off, will you? And start to air out that cabernet.
Our guests will be here pretty soon, and Whoa! Barbara.
Maurice.
Wow! You are a vision.
Spring sale.
Target.
Not only beautiful but practical as well.
Barbara, before our guests get here They're here! I hear the truck.
Everybody's here! Sounds like a bad rotor.
Yeah, if I'm lucky.
Yeah.
Here you go, Holling.
Hope he's got a welcome spread.
Ride worked on my appetite.
He always does.
Cool, huh, Doc? Yeah.
Hey, Holling? Oh, sorry, Doc.
He's just kind of territorial right now.
He's in rut.
Rut again, huh? He's in a rut? "In rut," Phillip.
Vincoeur's been in the bush so long, he's picked up the sexual biorhythms of the caribou bull.
Okay.
Wait a minute, so you're telling me he's in rut? Thank you.
Welcome, friends! I see the eagle has landed.
Barbara and I would like to welcome each and every one of you to Tranquility Base! We are surrounded here by 1,500 plus acres of virgin old-growth forest.
We've got mountain streams.
We've got a glacier-fed lake.
We've got everything here, from sports Oh, thanks.
to nature to good old-fashioned leisure.
It's all laid out there in that brochure that Ed's handing out to you.
Maurice, kinda need to know where we're crashing, ASAP.
Oh, of course.
I'm sure we all want to wash up after that dusty journey.
Ed, the bunk roster, please? All right.
Vincoeurs, you'll be quartered in the Wally Schirra.
A lovely suite overlooking the front lawn Miss Miller, Mr.
Kupfer, you'll be in Buzz Aldrin.
Capras, you're in Chuck Yeager.
Ed, Chris, in Alan Shepard.
Marilyn, you'll have Jim Lovell to yourself, because Maggie is a no-show.
No biggie.
All right.
Now, Barbara, if you'll show Miss Whirlwind and the Capras to their room, I'll take care of the rest of these folks here.
Okay, listen up, people.
Whirlwind, down the hall, make the first right, door next to the head.
Capras Barbara, Barbara, excuse me.
I meant, show them to their rooms.
That'd be nice.
Oh.
Okay, sure.
No problem.
This way.
Now, if the rest of you folks will follow me.
Miss Miller, Mr.
Kupfer.
Just get our bags.
Thank you, my good man.
Spelunking, paddle boating.
Gosh, there's so much stuff.
Well, don't worry about it, honey.
We're gonna go on the nature walk.
Hey, you guys.
One complimentary fruit basket and extra blankets.
Oh, well, that's great, Ed.
Thanks.
Anywhere's fine.
Thanks, Ed.
The nature walk, honey, are you sure? What about the wildflower pressing? We could start a scrapbook.
Great idea.
Scrapbook.
But then we'd miss the nature walk.
Okay, then the nature walk.
I didn't say that, Phil.
Did I? Tell you what, why don't you go on the wildflower thing and I'll do the nature hike, okay? You're sick of me, aren't you? No.
No, not sick of you.
I Well, maybe I'll just stay in bed.
Or hide in the closet.
Or, hey, under the rug! Michelle, come on, honey Maurice.
Oh, hello, Ruth-Anne.
Have you come to get a jump on my geology lecture? Look here.
Did you ever see a finer piece of variegated dolomite? Yes, it's very nice, but I need to have a word with you.
Sure.
Walt didn't want me to say anything because we're guests in your house, you know.
Uh-huh.
But Barbara confiscated Walt's whittling knife.
That drop-blade of his.
She did? He was working on a piece of red cedar and she jumps out of the bushes and demands that he hand it over.
He got it in Italy, for heaven's sake.
The man's a war hero.
Don't worry, Ruth-Anne.
I'll talk to Barbara and we'll get Walt's knife back.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Hayden, Maurice told me to bring you these tools so you could fix your truck and go home.
Just set 'em down over there, Ed.
I gotta think it through.
You don't wanna be popping any manifolds until I got a plan, right? Right.
You could soak them spark plugs in a little gas for me.
And, oh, while you're up, could you grab me another cold one? Spark plugs and a cold one.
Hey, Eduardo! Hayden.
Huh? What a life! Fresh air.
Lime Rickey.
You're telling me.
I told Marsha I'd be home in time to paint her kid's back bedroom.
Couple studs like us on the loose, huh? Wood nymphs, beware! Captain, what do you say we take to the woods and secure us a little female pulch? The woods? Hey, it's crawling with it.
You got geologists.
Spelunkers.
Occasional lost camper.
I don't think so.
Hayden, it's guaranteed.
I never been on a babe scout yet where I didn't come back with a little something, you know what I'm saying? No, it ain't my style.
Me and Marsha, you know, we got our own.
We're tight, you know what I mean? Hmm.
Yeah, I do.
Hey, more for me, then.
Ciao.
See you later.
What are you trying to tell me, Maurice? Well, I'm the host.
As hostess, you're my backup.
It's my duty, and hopefully you'll see it as yours, to make sure our guests are comfortable.
That they enjoy themselves.
They don't want to police up after themselves.
If they want to leave a half a cup of coffee, or a little crust of muffin I didn't want ants overrunning the place.
No, of course not.
But they're here to enjoy themselves and it's their prerogative to do so.
For example, if one of our guests wants to whittle with his knife, he should have his whittler, right? Even if it's a Class C felony carrying a year in jail? Barbara, this is my personal property, and I doubt that Walt Kupfer's gonna shank anybody with his blade.
So you're asking me to look the other way? Well In a word, yeah.
Look, while you're here at Tranquility Base, can you just try to leave your badge in the drawer? I mean, everybody likes to get away from his job once in a while.
Well For you? Deal.
Thanks, Barbara.
Dr.
Capra, you look like you could use an Arctic iced tea.
You know, I think you're right, Ed.
I just happen to have one on the back porch for you.
Can I ask you a question, Dr.
Capra? Yeah, sure, why not? Well, I'm here helping Maurice this week, well, mostly because I said I would.
But I'm also a shaman in training, you know.
Yeah, I know.
A hyphenate.
Well, my shaman instructor, Leonard, he says that unasked-for advice can be taken as an act of hostility.
But if I see someone doing something that's bad for them, isn't it my duty as a shaman, a healer, to tell them? Well, if you think it's important that they know, yeah.
It's you, Dr.
Capra.
Me? Yeah, well, you and Mrs.
Capra.
The way you've been making all her decisions for her, like in your room.
What, you mean that wildflower thing? She just wants to do it all, that's all.
I'm sure she's having a great time.
Yeah.
Well, that.
Laying out all her socks and shoes.
Filling out all her activity and menu cards.
I don't know what else to do, Ed.
I don't know what's wrong with her, why she can't make her own decisions.
I've run every test, blood, bile, and she's clean.
I'm not surprised.
What, then, some mild form of aphasia? Or some obscure Oliver Sacksian neurological syndrome? She's just She's just having a hard time making up her mind, Dr.
Capra.
You're not helping by making all her decisions for her, either.
It's just easier, that's all.
Well, but not in the long run.
You're an enabler, Phil.
And enabling hurts the enabler, too.
You think for her, then you get mad at her because you're thinking for her, and then you feel used, that makes you feel sorry for yourself.
Phil, just say no.
She's gonna have to learn to think for herself sometime.
I better get back to work now.
Whoa! Look out below! Look out! Hey! Whoa! My goodness, are you all right? I think I'm all right.
But I'm stuck.
Could you give me a hand with this clasp here? Through the other end.
Gosh, you know, you're lucky.
You could have really been hurt.
Oh, yes.
Oh, I haven't been in one of these since D-day.
Oh, well, why are you skydiving in a suit? That's a good question.
One minute I'm in shul studying the Talmud, Rabbi Braude's commentary on Rabbi Goldstein's commentary on the meaning of God's words to Moses at the burning bush, when, suddenly It's a clicker.
Hmm.
We had these in Normandy when we were trying to find each other.
Hmm.
Wait, I'm sorry.
I don't understand.
You went off-course, is that it? It depends.
Where am I? Mount Avery.
Near Cicely, Alaska.
Alaska? Alaska again? Hmm.
Must be to find Joel.
What's he up to now? Joel? Oh, Dr.
Fleischman? Yes.
You know him? Oh, you know, he's gone.
He went back to New York.
Gone? Then why am I here? Excuse me.
Alan Schulman.
You can call me rabbi.
Yeah.
I'm the new doctor's wife.
I'm Michelle Capra.
Capra? Doesn't sound Jewish.
No.
I'm Catholic.
Polish, actually.
My maiden name was Schowdoski.
Hmm.
So why am I here? You know, rabbi, you ought to come back to the lodge with me.
The lodge? I don't know.
I have this clicker.
Maybe I'm supposed to use it.
Decisions.
Decisions.
Yeah! Decisions.
Rabbi? Rabbi? Shelly! Holling! Hey, you guys, it's me, Ed.
I brought you some dinner.
Thought you might be hungry.
All right.
Well, I'm just gonna set it down outside the door here.
Something I can help you with, Miss Whirlwind? I need another pillow.
Problem with the pillow you were given? Is something wrong, ladies? She wants another pillow.
Mine was lumpy.
Barbara, isn't this exactly what we were talking about? If a guest wants another pillow, then we give them another pillow.
I was, if you could've kept your gun in your holster.
You were? This one's good.
Good night.
Against my better judgment, I might add, unless you want them all traipsing through here exchanging bedding.
Hi, Officer Semanski.
Bye, Officer Semanski.
So, did you ask her yet, Maurice? Ed, stow that paddle, and put out the coffee and the pastries in mission control.
Some of them wanna play charades.
Uh, dentures! Teeth! Oh.
Uh-uh.
False teeth.
Upper plate.
Plate My Dinner with André! Yeah.
Rowing a boat.
Dancing a jig! Walking, stepping.
Teeth stepping.
Uh Stevens, my man, back from the hunt? Seem to be.
Babeless? Nothing out there.
It's weird.
It's different.
What? Do I seem different to you? Okay.
No.
Waterway? Maybe it's the woods.
Itches.
Hmm, hmm.
Sounds like Mmm-hmm.
Witches! Witches of Mad! Itches of mad? Madness of King George! Buh Buh Bridges! Bridges of Bridges of Madison County! Yes! Yes! Good! What took you guys so long? We win, we win! No way, José! Those were great clues, honey.
Infraction! Nope! That doesn't count.
She said "buh.
" Barbara, shh, okay? I will not! That point should be deducted.
She cheated! I heard her.
Barbara, please, it's just a parlor game! Now, shh.
I will not.
And let go of me! Barbara, just Quit telling me what to do! Barbara, just calm down.
I said, "off," bub! Shove! Barbara, that's enough now! You asked for it.
Ow! Ow! Barbara! That Barbara Semanski, wicked right hand.
Wouldn't wanna get on her bad side.
Hey, what are you doing, Ed? Buttoning my P.
J.
s.
It's still the shank of the evening.
Let's get us a sixer, go launch the craft like we used to.
I don't think so, buddy.
Maurice wants kolaches for breakfast, I got to get up really early.
Yeah, we'll pull an all-nighter, then, huh? We'll get us a little cognac, huh? Keep us peppy.
Oh, I don't know.
I'm kind of tired.
It's been a long day for me.
Hey, that's never stopped us before.
Come on! Sorry, buddy.
I'll say.
Barbara, please.
I'm tired of talking.
Time for walking.
So it's come to this.
I wear a badge, mister.
That's me.
If that don't cut the mustard, then sayonara.
Hayden, man, I've been looking for you! Come on, get your stuff.
I'm taking you fishing.
Fishing, now? Yeah.
Nighttime's the best time for bullheads.
Aw, Chris, there's too many mosquitoes.
Mosquitoes? Well Hey, the boss has got to have some repellent around here somewhere.
Yeah, maybe.
Hey, hey.
Hayden, look at that.
What's that? Champagne? You got it.
A little bubbly.
Party time! No, I pass.
You know, I get a little destructive on champagne.
I still owe the steakhouse up there in Sleetmute some money for their jukebox.
Hayden, come here.
Hold this for me right here, would you? What? Just stand right here and hold that.
Hmm.
What's this? Yeah.
"Krug, Clos du Mesnil, 1983.
"Grande Cuvée.
" Hmm.
Ooh Holy Wait Hey, I can't believe it.
I saw that in a movie once, Hayden.
You could've cut my fingers off! Let's party! Pour it up, buddy.
Pour it up.
You two clowns mind squelching that racket? Trying to get a little shut-eye around here.
Yes, Officer.
Well, I'm still up, and somebody's got to have a little fun around here! Hayden? Thanks anyway, man.
Yeah? Skoal! Good kolaches.
Oh, thanks, Marilyn.
What's over there? Plenty of apricot.
Okay, that sounds fine.
Oh, Hayden? Hayden, Maurice wanted me to ask About the truck? I'm on it.
I'm on it, man.
Cool.
Seat taken? Hey, buddy.
Whoa, you okay, Chris? Never better, never better.
You don't look so good.
You should've been there, amigo.
Finished off that bottle of French fizz.
Got a quick six of Colt 45s.
How about some Extra Strength Tylenol? Yeah, all right.
So what do you think, Phil? The morel hunt? I think you'd like it.
But it's up to you, you know.
I mean, if you want to go, go.
If you don't, don't.
Are you going? No.
Oh.
So maybe I shouldn't go.
Maybe.
Are you telling me not to? No.
I'm not telling you anything.
So I should go then? No, I didn't say that.
Phil Look, Michelle, I think it's important that you make this decision on your own.
I mean, you can do it.
I know you can.
Maurice? Two dropped eggs on toast, hash browns, black coffee and orange juice.
Just put them down anywhere.
Swelling's gone down some.
Did you ask her? What? Officer Semanski.
Pop the big one? Are you out of your mind? Look, Ed, that That mission is scrubbed.
Aborted.
Barbara will be leaving as soon as one of her cronies can get here in a black-and-white.
I'm sorry, Maurice.
Ed, do you know why I really bought this place? Because I wanted a family compound, kinda like what Jack Kennedy had in Hyannis Port.
Touch football on the lawn, deal-making on the porch.
Children underfoot.
Oh, well.
A lot of my other dreams came to fruition.
"The tumult and the shouting dies "The captains and the kings depart.
" All right, mycophiles.
This is your quarry.
The morel mushroom.
Latin name, angusticeps.
And a sweeter representative of the Morchella family never drew nitrogen.
But the morel doesn't easily give up her favors.
You have to court her.
Can any of you find the mushroom? No.
No.
No.
Impressive.
Oh! Wow! Well, at first, you can't see them anyplace, but once you get in the zone, you see them everywhere.
Any questions? No.
Good luck.
Okay.
Rabbi? Rabbi? Oh, hello again.
I'm really glad to see you.
Really? Yeah.
So, you wandered off so quickly.
Well, I have a lot on my mind.
I can't seem to find my unit.
What are you doing in this neck of the woods? Oh, I'm on a mushroom hunt, only now I'm not sure how to get back to the lodge.
No need to worry.
I have a map.
You do? Oh, great.
Let's see, Utah Beach Omaha Beach Cherbourg? Sainte-Mére-Eglise? What? This is the map I had in Normandy Hell, I'm all farblondget.
Here I am in Alaska with a World War ll clicker, no Joel, and a wandering Gentile.
At least in the past, I had some clue of what was going on.
You mean this has happened to you before? You just show up out of the clear blue sky? Never by parachute.
One time Joel fished me out of a lake.
Another time, just before Yom Kippur, I materialized in his bedroom.
You know, rabbi, I really should be getting back to the lodge.
And think maybe you should come with me, too.
To the lodge? Yeah.
Why not? Who's to say? Good.
Good.
Oh, only, which way do we go? There's an old Yiddish proverb.
"When you don't know where you're going, "every road will take you there.
" Oh, another one.
Hey, you better get with the program, buddy.
Can't do it, Hayden.
Sure you can.
Just look under the trees! Can't lie to myself anymore.
I miss her, bad.
Yeah, but what about all them wood nymphs? History, man.
I've changed.
Rounded a corner.
Chris Stevens is a bachelor no more.
Look at that.
That's just like Maggie.
It was there all the time, only I didn't see it.
And I let her go without a peep.
South.
Two, bam.
Hey, have any of you seen Michelle? No.
I haven't.
She went off by herself.
Okay.
Thanks.
Sure.
Well, one thing is for sure.
We're lost.
The final insult.
God's big joke on Rabbi Schulman.
What do you mean? You want the short version? A couple of years ago, my congregation wanted to kick me upstairs, rabbi emeritus.
A lot of changes were going on.
Yeah.
Female cantor, new liturgy.
Hmm.
The board didn't think I could roll with it.
No, but you did.
Good.
Yes.
Things worked out pretty good.
So, last month, with my house in order, I thought maybe I'd lay down the reins and devote myself to study.
You know, no more sisterhood breakfasts and bar mitzvahs.
Just quiet time for meditation and prayer.
Mmm, sounds nice.
Hmm, so what happens? My sciatica starts acting up.
Oh, no.
Every time I sit at my desk, I get these shooting pains down my legs.
So now I have to read lying down.
But I can't concentrate lying down.
Oh! My wife says if I don't stop being such a grump, she's gonna throw me right out of the house.
Yeah.
He hasn't said anything, but my husband's losing it with me, too.
I can't make decisions anymore, from what to wear to what to do with my life.
It's like I can't move forward and I can't look back.
Hmm.
Perfect.
A dysfunctional rabbi and a paralyzed Catholic howling in the wilderness.
Well, the Lord works in mysterious ways, hmm? Or not.
Rabbi, look! My Oh, my God! We should put it out! No, no, don't.
It's a bush.
Huh? It's a burning bush.
Like with Moses.
I mean, look around.
You see anything else on fire? A burning bush? It's a message.
The voice of God.
Finally, all of this is going to begin to make sense.
I don't hear Shh! Come on, we're listening.
It's starting to go out, rabbi.
No, it can't go out.
It can't.
We haven't gotten the message yet.
No, please.
Please! Oh, God.
Rabbi, it's not a message from God.
Maybe it was the lightning or something.
No.
Please! The slides of our weekend on the Yorktown.
I'd like to keep those, if you don't mind.
You can keep the BlackHawk, too.
I've got another.
357 I use for deer.
No, thank you.
the sam hill? Michelle never came home from the mushroom hunt.
She's out there somewhere.
It's all my fault! Come on! Wait a minute! Hold it, hold it.
Maurice, she doesn't know the woods.
She's never even been camping.
Listen up! We need a search party, not a mob scene.
Bill, crack out the walkie-talkies, megaphone and flashlights.
Miller, split this group into teams, two by number.
All right.
Maurice, you should have topo maps of the area? Sure.
We'll need copies for each team penciled in 100-yard squares.
Right.
Well, don't just stand there.
Nobody panics.
We proceed to the target area in a line 10 yards apart.
From there we initiate a grid search on my command.
What was your wife wearing when you last saw her? A green coat and blue jeans.
Make a note of it, people.
A green coat and blue jeans.
What was that? Oh, it's just something my father used to say.
Piltz used to say that.
Who? Stanley Piltz.
He was a private in my unit.
Piltz? Yeah.
P-I-L-T-Z.
Uh-huh.
Polish.
Like you.
Like you, he couldn't make his mind up about anything.
Really? Hmm.
He was from Cincinnati, a plumber.
Tell me more about him.
He used to ask me questions about everything.
From philosophy to what to have for breakfast.
That's just like me.
Got to the point, I used to duck every time I saw him coming.
"Schulman, can I ask you a question? "Schulman, can I ask you " Drive me nuts.
That's just like me and Phil.
Last time I saw him was over the Channel, D-day, just before we had to jump.
Piltz wanted to talk.
Like everybody else on the plane, I had other things on my mind.
And when it came time to jump, he couldn't do it.
What do you mean? He froze in the doorway.
It wasn't that he was afraid to jump, really, it was just that he couldn't make up his mind whether to go or not.
He took his parachute off the static line, let everybody else go by.
As I went by, he said, "Schulman, can I ask you a question?" No! It was too late, I had to go.
Never did find out what he wanted to ask.
A few minutes later the plane was shot down with Piltz still in it.
Wow.
Michelle! Michelle? Michelle! Mrs.
Capra? Mrs.
Capra! Mrs.
Capra? Mrs.
Capra! Man, I never should have let her go.
It's not your fault, Dr.
Capra.
I'm just an apprentice shaman.
I should never have interfered.
No, you were just trying to help, Ed.
Leonard says you lose one every now and then, but Ed, we're gonna find her, okay? Just keep looking, all right? Maybe if I'd listened to Piltz a little more, maybe he would've jumped from that plane.
And maybe, sitting in my study all day long, reading Maybe that's not my path.
I need to be with people, minister to my congregation.
Maybe that's why you and I were thrown together, to remind me of that.
Oh, so what does that say about me? That I'm like Private Piltz? Piltz was afraid of making a decision for fear of making the wrong decision.
That's no way to live.
You make a mistake, so what? So you move on.
It's better than standing still.
Ah.
Well, gotta get back to my mishpoche.
You know what? Suddenly, my sciatica doesn't hurt as much anymore.
How about that? Wait, rabbi.
What about me? I'll give you the same advice I'd give Piltz if I had a second chance.
Jump.
For God's sake, jump.
Right.
Okay.
Oh.
But which path? Left or right? Rabbi? Rabbi? Right.
Jump.
Jump.
It's 18:00.
Sunset's 18:20.
We'll reform in groups of three and Holling? He's got the scent! Follow him! Michelle! Michelle.
Oh, honey! Oh, hi, Holling! Honey? Hey, how you doing? You okay? I'm okay.
Yeah.
I'm gonna get you in for x-rays, check for possible concussion.
I'm fine, Phil.
Really.
Well, you've been muttering about a rabbi, Utah Beach.
It's all my fault.
I never should have let you go.
Oh, would you stop, honey? No, don't worry about it.
It won't happen again.
From now on I'm gonna stick with you.
No, you know what, Phil? Letting me go in the woods was the best thing you could've done.
Really? Yeah.
You hungry? Oh! You know, what I'd like is a turkey club with extra mayo, hold the tomatoes, on toasted whole wheat.
I guess rutting season's over.
Till next year.
This is delicious, isn't it? Barbara, I owe you an apology.
I've been trying to turn you into something that you're not.
You're no gentle lady.
You're a warrior.
That's what attracted me.
That's what attracts me now.
Look, I Maybe I've burned all my bridges, but I'm constitutionally incapable of retreat, so I guess I'll just go ahead.
It's It's difficult for me to say this, but I love you, Barbara.
I want you to be my wife.
Well, what the hell, might as well try, huh? Nothing to lose.
It's okay.
You don't have to say anything.
Yes.
What? I said, I accept, Maurice.
You do? Yeah, but no big announcement, no splashy wedding.
We do it by the book or we don't do it at all, you got that? Outstanding! Well, aren't you gonna kiss me? Well, I blame myself.
What? I let her walk out that door.
'Cause I'm the Teflon kid.
Dozens of chicks, nothing sticks.
Are you talking about Maggie? Mating for life, couples.
I always thought that was for somebody else, Ed.
Not for me, you know.
Karma is rearing its ugly head.
Oh, I don't know about that, Chris.
Hmm.
The wheel of life.
Hi, there.
How's it going? Good to see you.
Round and round she goes.
Where she Hey.
Hi.
I couldn't go.
I just couldn't go.
You couldn't? No.
I mean, I was about to get on the plane, and I thought, why am I doing this? I mean Mmm-hmm? What I'm trying to say is, I'd rather be with you.
Hmm? I mean, I'm not trying to put any pressure on you or anything.
It's my decision.
You can put pressure on me.
I'm glad you came back.
You are? Come here.
Do you wanna dance? Yeah.
Well, then, come on.