Doctor Who (1963) s06e31 Episode Script

Someone's cutting through the bolts in the hull.
We've been discovered! Wait a minute Jamie! Oh no you don't! Jamie! No! You murderer! Stay still, the pair of yer, unless you want to follow him! Ah, Penn.
Sir? Major Warne needs some assistance.
I want you to take the ship out and stand-off at twenty miles, just in case Clancey tries any tricks during the landing.
Very good, sir.
Aren't you going with your ship, General? Err no, I shall be in charge of ground reception.
Um, leave a section of guards, Penn, with short-ranged missiles.
Right, sir.
How long shall I keep the ship in stand-off orbit, sir? You can come in just as soon as Clancey hits the landing pad.
Sir! All this for one old man? You aren't taking any chances are you? That is why I'm a general, madam.
Well what will happen to him? Well, he'll be taken back to home planet and tried.
And end in a Nevan prison chamber.
Well, when Clancey turned pirate, he knew the penalties if he was caught.
Oh yes I know, but I can't help feeling sorry for him.
I offered to buy him out two years ago.
And he refused.
I offered much more than his worked-out concessions are worth.
He could have ended his days in luxury.
Why didn't he accept your offer, madam? Who knows? He's a foolish old man.
Is LIZ 79 on thrust or stationary.
Stationary, sir.
She's berthed against the section of the beacon.
Right, now listen Ian.
If you get no reply within two minutes, you are to fire your warning rockets.
And then, if necessary, stand off and use the Martian Missiles.
This is Minnow fighter X-X 1 to LIZ 7-9.
You have one minute to surrender.
I repeat, you have one minute to surrender, Clancey.
Are you hearing me? Now, come on now! If you don't answer my questions, I'm going to have to start getting tough with you! Look, I think he's just stunned, Zoe.
Now, look here my man, I will not be threatened in this bullying manner.
Do you understand? Oh no! A boy, a girl and a nut-case! You can't be the pirates! Pirates? Pirates! Oh I see! Oh Doctor, he's coming round.
Oh, Jamie.
Yes, I think he is coming round girl.
I only give him a quarter blast.
Hey listen, you there! Listen, she calls you "Doctor".
"Doctor" she call you, now why did she say that? Sheer politeness.
Are you all right, Jamie? Come on.
Oh, help me! Now look, I'm not going to stand any more of this nonsense.
Now, I want to know who you are and where you come from? Now come on! It's very rude to point, you know.
Especially with a gun.
I told you she was polite.
How did you get here? Oh we just arrived.
Oh you mean you got some sort of ship you docked on the beacon? Not so much on it as um In it.
Inside! Now how could you be doing that? Look, that is not possible! Anything's possible in the TARDIS, especially when he's at the controls.
Jamie, you're better.
You really expect me to swallow a story like that! Now look, if I don't get the truth out of you three comics in about ten seconds But it is the truth! One Everything we've told you is true.
Two Three Three Nine Ten! Now, come on, the truth - I want the whole truth! Oh what what on Earth's that!? Someone's firing at us.
Come on, let's get out of here! Hey, wait for me! Oh, there you are! Now who's firing at us? No, no! Now quiet, I want to hear this! Listen! That was a warning shot, Clancey.
You've no hope of getting away.
Surrender or I'll put the next missile through your hull.
My, my, my! It's that soft-faced puppy from the Space Corps.
Hang on to something everyone, while I gotta try to do a trick or two on that boy.
I can see you moving, Clancey.
I'll give you ten seconds to turn-about.
Ten seconds then I'm sending a missile in! Ten seconds! The nerve of that green-horn, saying things like that to me! One two three Well don't you think it would be wiser to parley with him? Hold on now, Doctor.
Milo Clancey don't take ultimatums from no body! Well, you can at least do what he wants! He's going to fire a missile onto us! I got a trick here worth ten missiles.
Eight Nine.
.
Ten All right, Clancey, you had your chance! That should test young green-horn and his new-fangled toy.
Ha, ha! Get yourself out of that one boy! What's happened? What did you do, Mr Clancey? My own invention, my little chicken-biddy.
That's two tons of copper needles - I just lay out beside me when one of those new-fangled space ships gets too close for comfort! But how do copper needles stop a spaceship? Aye, an and a missile? Well you see, they've all got those err new-fangled computer guidance systems, you see? The argonite in the space ship - that attracts all the copper, then all those thousand little needles, they all jigger up all their computer scanners! What's argonite? What is argonite?! Don't they learn you nothing at school girl? They didn't teach me anything about argonite.
Oh! Have you ever heard of argonite, Doctor? Well, from what Mr Clancey was saying, I imagine it's a metal that's used in the construction of space craft.
Am I right? Argonite is used for well it's used for practically everything.
It's ductile, it's tensile, it's heat-proof, it's practically indestructible.
And magnetically polarised for copper! Ah.
You mean to say that you have honestly never heard of argonite? It's the most expensive mineral in the galaxy! We told you already.
We don't come from this civilisation.
We are visitors.
And I hope we're not stopping long.
Well, if that doesn't beat jumping grasshoppers.
You mean to say you travel around in in time as well as space? Well, yes, yes.
You've grasped the principal very well.
Hey, hey! That must be a mighty interesting thing to do.
Aye, it would be, if we knew where we were going to land up every time! It's just a minor fault in the system.
I shall put it right in time.
If we ever see the TARDIS again! Oh yes, err by the way.
Um Mr Clancey, err would it be going out of your way to drop us off a at at at the space station please? I can't do that.
It's all in bits, isn't it! Oh dear, oh my word! Do you know where we are? No, no, no! Only the argonite pirates know that! They're taking them all off for salvage.
Oh dear, well that will be difficult, won't it? Hey, we we shouldn't be sitting 'round here.
We should be get getting the heck out of here before that General Hermack starts to send some more minnows out, and I've used up all my copper needles! Well who's General Hermack? General Herm He's the Space Corps.
He's trailing those pirates - he thinks I'm one of them! That's why I say he's bone-headed, now look, let's move out of here Excuse me.
That's it, get over there.
That's it, over there.
Come on boy.
Mr Clancey Look, you're a good girl and you promise not to cause me trouble, you can call me Milo.
Oh, well Milo.
There's one thing I don't understand.
Well you're very lucky girl.
There's about a hundred thousand things I don't understand, but I don't stand around asking fool questions about them, I do something useful - why don't you do something useful - why don't you make us all a pot of tea or something? I thought the pot was broken? Oh yes, that would be lovely.
Well, ah there's a metal pot in that cupboard there, made of tillium.
Tillium? Yeah, that's what this whole space-ship's made of, tillium.
Lasted me a life-time round the galaxy.
Makes a lousy cup of tea.
Oh, that's what I couldn't understand.
Why your space ship wasn't affected by the copper needles.
Err, what'll happen to us if one of those wee minnow things catches up with us? Ah, don't worry lad, they won't.
I'm going to go to the one place that General will never think of looking.
He used some kind of anti-missile device, sir.
It jammed out my controls.
Major Warne, can you hear me? I repeat, can you hear me? Just about, sir? You let Clancey make a complete fool of you! Are you still tracking his ship? No, sir.
My radar and sonar screens are out of action.
WHAT?! I can't sit here with just I request assistance immediately, sir.
Your request is noted.
These are the shipping times.
Send them out on clans printer to all branch stations.
These are production figures and loading dates - code them and send them to head office right away.
Priority clear.
Anything wrong, General? Yes.
Clancey has escaped.
How did that happen? I don't know yet but I mean to find out.
May I monopolise your video channel a while longer? Of course.
Thank you.
General Hermack to V-41.
Yes, general? Ah Penn.
Did you pick up Major Warne's last report on your monitor? Some of it, sir.
There was lots of interference.
Right, now I want the rest of the minnow fleet launched and I want LIZ 79 found and destroyed! Is that understood? Yes, sir.
Report back as soon as the minnow fleet is clear.
I am not giving Milo Clancey any more chances! Doctor.
Yes, Jamie? I think I'm going to be sick.
Now, now now Jamie.
Will power, will power.
Any more tea anyone? I'll have another cup if there's some there Zoe.
There you are, that's as good as new.
Milo? Hello.
Err I've I've been watching this pressure gauge.
It is err, just a little bit high, isn't it? Yeah, it is a bittie.
That's the thermo-nuclear power you see.
Yeah, it's wearing out a bit, nothing you can do about that.
Well except slow down.
I I mean, there could be a nasty explosion, couldn't there! Ah, don't you worry, Doctor.
It's a mighty strong little ship this.
They don't make ships like this these days, you know! You can say that again! Ah don't you worry, lad.
We haven't got far to go.
Where are we going? You haven't said.
Well now, I'll tell ya.
We're going to the one place where they'll never think of looking for us.
There! That's the planet called Ta! Oh, oh yes! Is it ah is it inhabited? Yea it is these days.
It's the headquarters of the Issigri Mining Corporation.
Why do you say they won't bother to look for us.
Well you see, Madeleine Issigri, who runs that show now, she's a sworn enemy of mine.
Well, so I've been told.
Anyway, General Hermack err will think I'll go anywhere else rather than go there.
Yes well, if she's a sworn enemy, won't she give you away.
We won't be announcing our arrival, Doctor.
We'll just lie low there until that old Space Corps gets tired of looking for us.
It doesn't look as though there's anything there.
This side is just desert.
Oh no, there's no surface life on Ta girl - there's too much ultra-violet ra radiation.
Don't you worry, don't you worry- we'll be all right.
We'll be a mile underground as long as I can fall into my old landing pad Oh, you've been there before, have you? Certainly have, certainly have.
Me and my old partner, Dom Issigri, god rest his poor tired old soul, we turned that whole planet into a piece of Gruyere cheese between us.
Gruyere cheese Jamie, yes Err mining, I see.
Umm of argonite err presumably.
Yeah that's right, arg argonite - one of the richest strikes we ever found.
Took us about ten years to drill that clean.
Well, I'd better try to find this old entry shaft then.
Now you'd better brace yourselves, hang onto something.
Landing pad's ain't as good as they used to be.
Bring the ship in on pad three.
I'll join you there Penn.
Yes, sir.
I'm sorry your stay was so short, General.
Well, I hope on my next visit, my duties will be less pressing.
So do I.
Where do you go from now? Well, first of all I must get young Warne out of that fix he's got himself into.
Then I must collect my pickets from the beacons.
And after that - Lobos! Lobos! Hm hm.
Milo Clancey's base? The pirate's base.
Those beacons they've been braking up will be heading there.
With a little bit of luck we shall be able to wipe out the whole nest in one operation.
Well I hope you do.
Some of my crews are demanding arms in case they're attacked.
Is that a Is that a Beta Dart? Yes.
Yes, our company's just bought two.
They're our fastest freighters.
Ah.
I must bear that in mind.
The pirates have a Beta Dart.
I should hate to knock out one of your ships by mistake.
Well I don't think that's likely.
All our freighters show the Issigri nose-cone when they're in commission, see? I designed it myself.
Ah, very distinctive.
How much do they cost? Oh, a hundred million credits upwards - depends on the fittings.
Why do you ask? I was just wondering where Milo Clancey got a hundred million credits.
I see, you think he got it by selling the stolen argonite.
Why not? It's logical.
There's an illicit market for them on Rita Magnum, I hear.
Yes, but I'm sure you're wrong about Milo Clancey.
Are you? I'm not.
He's selling the stuff and professing poverty as a cover.
If I find those beacons sections on line for Lobos, he'll not live to enjoy his money! Goodbye, General.
Goodbye, Miss Issigri.
Thank you for your hospitality.
Nice smooth landing, after all! Smooth? What do you call a rough landing? What's the matter with you sonny? Are you getting soft or something? Just let me get my feet back on the ground You stay right here where you're safe, boy.
Safe! Is that what you call this? You want us to stay here? Yeah.
I'm thinking of your own safety.
Why? Well, we're a mile underground here.
This is the old freighter dock.
And there's nothing to see, there's nowhere to go, just a whole maze of argonite tunnels, and if you go in there well even I mayn't be able to find you again.
You stay right here in this ship.
Just a minute, where are you going? I've got to go to the generator room.
I think one of their rockets must have gone through my transmitter unit.
The radio there's whistling like some sort of hysterical canary.
Doctor, do you believe him? I don't know, Jamie.
What do you think? Well he never did explain how he turned up the way he did, did he? And that Space Corp ship was chasing him.
True.
I think we've got to trust him, Jamie.
If we leave this ship, we'll never ever have a chance of finding the TARDIS again.
Well I don't see we've got much of a chance either way.
Look, it's up there in space somewhere on a bit of that beacon, heading for I I don't know where.
A blast furnace, I imagine.
I think I think the pirates are probably going to take the pieces and melt them down for the for the argonite.
The trouble is, we we can't guess where their headquarters is.
We don't need to guess, Doctor.
It's easy enough to work out.
What? Applied mathematics.
Applied oh, I see.
You've been messing about again, haven't you.
Oh well, if you don't want to know what I discovered Oh no, no, no, no.
Come along, surprise us.
This is the position of our bit of beacon when Milo first saw us, I got the figures from the computer.
Hmm.
And this is our position eight minutes later when he docked along side.
Mmm Yes, go on.
Well, with this data, it was simple enough to work out our original position and course.
D'you see? Yes, except that after my little experiment we veered rather violently off that course.
Ah yes Yes, but I allowed for that.
Look! Oh Electro-magnetic waves are always at right-angles to the direction of propagation, and, as you know, travel at one hundred and eighty six thousand, two hundred and eighty two miles per second.
Oh really? How interesting.
Well, what's the answer? Here! What? If we'd stayed on our original course, the TARDIS would have landed within ten miles from where we are now.
Except of course, it would still be up there because it wasn't travelling quite so fast.
Well, Bless my soul! Yes, of course.
Yes as you say, a simple calculation.
I should have thought of that myself! Yes.
I wonder why you didn't.
Did all that talk mean that the TARDIS is going to land somewhere around here? Jamie, it's all here, written down.
It's as plain as a pike-staff.
Aye, well in that case, the pirates are going to be round here too! Yes Jamie, you're right! Do you think Milo's one of them and that's why he landed here? Yes, I think it's possible.
Aye, he seemed to know all about them, didn't he.
Look, I think we ought to get out of here before he comes back.
Yes, so do I.
We don't even know if he has gone to the Generator room.
He might just have gone to get his gang.
Aye.
All right All right, but if the TARDIS has landed here we we have to find it anyway.
Come on you two, but for heaven's sake don't make a noise on the ladder.
Jamie! We're not on the ladder yet, are we! Wait here! What's the panic, Caven? No panic.
What, you know what I mean? I got a red emergency flash.
I wanted to talk to you Dervish.
Well? What's the position at the plant? Just started on the last section of Alpha Two.
Leave it.
Leave it?! Suledin's capable of taking change down there, isn't he? Well yes, but Right, when you've finished your flight service, I want you to take the ship out.
Me! Where? The Alpha Four sections are being re-routed.
Re-rout To Lobos.
Lobos? But that's impossible! When I give an order, nobody says it's impossible Dervish.
Well do you know how far Lobos is? I mean the beacons rockets will have to be re-fuelled.
That's right.
That's exactly what I want you to do.
Yeah, but the Space Corps have got a V-ship and a flight of minnows up there.
It's too dangerous! It has to be done.
They've got to be drawn off.
Well why can't you do it then? You're the master pilot! I'm only supposed to be the engineer.
I've got to do things down here.
Yes, so I've got to go and risk my life whi You keep arguing Dervish, and Suledin will be having your job permanently.
Now are you going to take that ship out or aren't you? Well yes, yes.
Of course Caven.
I I was only just trying to point out the dangers.
Well now you're in more danger here than you ever will be in space.
It's a perimeter alarm! Intruders in perimeter tunnel nine.
Perimeter tunnel nine.
Alert the guards.
I'm coming down.
Is it the Space Corps? I don't know, but whoever it is, we can deal with them in the tunnel complex! Now get moving! Right! I'm sure we should have turned right back there.
We DID turn right! I mean earlier.
We seem to be getting deeper.
What do you think, Doctor? Should we go on or turn back? I think we should have done as Milo told us.
He said we'd get lost.
Tunnels probably run for hundreds of miles.
Well if they do, we'll never get ourselves out.
Feels like I'm going to sneeze.
Shh, just a minute Jamie.
What? I can hear something.
There it is.
A buzzing noise.
Well where's it coming from? Seems to be up ahead there.
Well that's all right again, right as rain.
Hey where are you? Ah ZOE!? DOCTOR!? They ain't here.
Oh, why can't some people do as they're told.
I guess I'd better better go out and try and find them.
Hey Doctor! There's a wee light there, look! Just shining through a crack in the wall.
You're right.
It is a light! Yes, it's it's reflected through from the other side.
I I wonder if we can Too high to see in.
I'm the lightest, if you can lift me up - perhaps I can see through.
All right.
You jump onto Jamie's back.
What? Can you see anything? It hurts Well hurry up! Well? There are three men in there and I think they're pirates.
How do you know? They could be miners? No, they're cutting up bits of scrap and it looks like part of a beacon! It looks as though we've stumbled on their headquarters.
Yes, of course! That noise is an electrical furnace.
Did you see the TARDIS? No, just the three men.
Doctor, we've got to try and stop them before they start cutting it up.
Yes.
The first thing we'd better do is Hello? What's happening?! Keep moving! All right! There's no need for that! Back! Back! Back! Quick! Down this passage! Run!